Chapter Text
“You’re in an awfully good mood today,” Joker remarked as Kaidan approached the cockpit, sliding into the seat next to him. “All things considered, I would have expected you to be a little on edge.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kaidan frowned, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Please, we’re on our way to drop the kid back with his brother on the Citadel, meaning Shepard is going to have to see her ex again. You were all bent out of shape over that first meeting, clearly something has changed,” Joker smirked.
“I don’t see how you’re getting any of that from this brief interaction we’ve had thus far,” Kaidan stated, trying to not give anything away about his steamy makeout session with Shepard the night before.
“I noticed you at breakfast. You’ve just been really smiley, that’s all,” Joker quipped. “And as long as I’ve known you, you’re one who tends to…brood.”
“Says the guy whose nickname is Joker due to always appearing so serious,” Kaidan chuckled.
“Whatever,” Joker rolled his eyes. “So did you two kids finally do the deed?”
“You’re unbelievable,” Kaidan groaned.
“So you did, huh? That’s great! I’m happy for you, really,” Joker grinned. “At least someone on this ship should be getting some.”
“Nothing happened, dude. You’re reading into things,” Kaidan sighed. “You should find a new hobby if you’re really that bored.”
“Whatever you say, Lieutenant. Maybe it wasn’t the whole shebang, but I can tell by the look on your face—something developed,” he smirked, gesturing in Kaidan’s direction.
“Well if that ever did happen, I know you’re the last person I’d tell,” he shook his head.
“Tell him what?”
Both Joker and Kaidan spun around in their chairs at the voice behind them.
Shepard. Beautiful, terrifying, mind-blowingly sexy, Kate Shepard. She was wearing civilian clothes—tight jeans and a form-fitting blouse that showed off some cleavage. A simple gold chain with the Star of David rested right above the crease between her breasts. Much to his surprise, her ebony hair was completely down, cascading along her shoulders. It took everything in him not to gawk and he already felt Joker’s eyes on him, watching for his reaction.
“Shepard! Good morning,” he stammered nervously. “You look really nice today.”
Her eyes were narrowed at them, probably still wondering what conversation she’d walked up on.
“Damn, Commander. I already knew you were smoking the moment I met you, but this look really does a lot for your…” Joker smirked shamelessly, looking her up and down, eyes lingering a tad longer on her chest.
She raised an eyebrow at him in challenge. “For my?”
“For your…relatability. You’re usually intimidating as hell and I find that seeing you in civilian clothing reminds me that you’re still human—just like the rest of us, ya know? You look more approachable.”
“Mmhmm, yeah I bet,” she murmured, a smug grin playing on her lips.
Kaidan cast Joker a glare, to which he shrugged.
“You’ve already seen me in civilian clothes, fly boy,” she pointed out. “Remember? After my spectre ceremony when we went out to celebrate at Flux.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t call that regular civilian clothes, Commander,” he grinned, likely recalling the slinky dress she’d adorned that turned many heads that night. “That was…well, let’s just say you were even more intimidating than usual and not the slightest bit relatable.”
“You didn’t seem too awfully intimidated by me,” she remarked.
Kaidan remembered the way Joker and Shepard had gotten rather cozy that evening, drinking together late into the night. Nothing inappropriate ensued, but they were sitting pretty close together and had gotten a bit touchy during their flirtatious banter. He had felt so jealous—and hated himself for it—but now he was starting to feel that way again.
“Well, I had my share of liquid courage,” he winked. “But I still couldn’t have mustered the guts to…”
“To what?” She frowned, casually folding her arms across her chest.
“To challenge you in combat, of course!” He grinned wickedly, laughter shining in his eyes. He was definitely enjoying this.
“Good answer, fly boy,” she smirked. “And I’m glad to know that despite your impaired mental faculties that night, you still had the wisdom to know that I could’ve kicked your ass—even in that dress.”
“Well now you’re just kicking me while I’m down, Commander,” he joked. “You know it wouldn’t take much to break these bones.”
“Pssh, please,” she rolled her eyes. “You know even without Vrolik’s it wouldn’t matter.”
He smirked. “I won’t argue with that.”
Kaidan shifted in his seat, feeling a bit uncomfortable at Joker’s shameless flirting with Shepard. He was probably doing it in front of him on purpose, but he still found it annoying.
“Ugh, Joker. Stop hitting on our commander,” Ashley groaned in disgust as she appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
“Where the hell did you come from? Were you spying on us?” Joker asked, seeming instantly annoyed.
“I heard enough. Besides, you’re always leering at her, don’t think I haven’t noticed,” Ashley glared. “I have my eye on you, Moreau.”
“God, you’re always such a buzzkill, Williams,” he groaned, spinning back around in his chair. Apparently Ashely’s mere presence was all it took to put a stop to Joker openly flirting with Shepard.
Ashley stuck her tongue out to the back of Joker’s head, then rolled her eyes.
“Good morning, Chief,” Shepard greeted her.
“Morning, Commander,” Ashley nodded. “Ma’am, would it be alright with you if I joined you on the Citadel today? An old friend from one of my first Alliance assignments contacted me to see if we could meet up for lunch the next time I’m around. He just started working for C-Sec,” she explained.
“That’s fine with me, Williams,” Shepard nodded. “In fact, if any non-essential personnel on the ship want to take the rest of the day as shore leave, they’re welcome to. We ship out to Noveria very early in the morning, but the day is yours to do as you wish. Just be back on the ship by midnight.”
“I’ll get the message out, Commander,” Joker said, back to his normal self.
“Would you like me to accompany you and Liam today, ma’am?” Kaidan asked shyly, hoping she’d agree.
“Actually, I would really appreciate that,” she smiled, meeting his eyes. “I don’t have any reason to think anything will go wrong, Liam has been cooperative thus far. But on the off chance that he decides to make a run for it, it’s probably best to have some back up.”
“Always glad to be of assistance, Commander,” he grinned, hoping she’d catch his play back to their post-makeout flirting from last night.
“Hey, you’re always a big help, Alenko,” she smirked, definitely catching his meaning.
After Williams split off to meet her C-Sec friend, Shepard, Kaidan, and Liam made their way down to the Wards. Owen was supposed to meet them in the lobby of the hotel he’d been staying at.
Liam had been pretty quiet and reserved since he’d boarded the Normandy with them the day before. Today he seemed somewhat antsy, as if he was nervous to face his older brother. Kaidan had tried to have a conversation with him shortly after he came on board, but he didn’t seem too interested in opening up or even making small talk. As an Alliance biotic, Kaidan felt somewhat guilty that he couldn’t be of more help to Liam. Just like Shepard, he had a lot of empathy for biotics who hadn’t fared as well as they had.
Both he and Shepard made attempts to make conversation with Liam on their walk to the Wards but it mostly ended up just being the two of them chatting. Liam’s demeanor seemed even heavier today than it had when he initially boarded the ship with them.
He found his thoughts wandering to the night before and his cheeks instantly warmed. Things had gotten pretty hot and heavy rather quickly and despite breaking the rules, he didn’t regret it one bit. His only lingering fear was that Shepard would, and as a result, push him even further away. He wanted things to happen with her, but he needed to tread carefully. The last thing he needed was to scare her away. He was in deep and he knew it.
As they approached the hotel lobby, Shepard’s stomach twisted in knots. Her late-night punching bag workout had eased some of her anxiety over having to see Owen again—and the delightful interruption from Kaidan had left her feeling entirely relaxed as her head hit the pillow. But this morning her worries immediately returned and even though deep down she had no regrets regarding what had ensued between her and Alenko, she felt nervous that other people would start picking up on things. Even as she playfully bantered with Joker that morning, she was internally wondering if everyone in the room could tell she’d had an orgasm just eight hours earlier in the fitness area at the hands of Lieutenant Alenko—literally. Obviously they hadn’t, but she couldn’t seem to shake that self conscious feeling and it only intensified how uncomfortable she felt about returning to Owen. Would he be able to sense something between her and Kaidan? Did that even matter?
Her eyes found his and they walked up to the hotel entrance and he gave her an easy smile. It made her weak in the knees, but she managed to smile back. Had his face always been that beautiful? She’d found him attractive the moment they met, but now every time she found herself looking at him she was taken aback. How could someone that hot want her? She quickly dismissed the thought, hoping she wouldn’t jinx it.
“Liam, it’s really you,” an emotional voice broke at the sight of them. The three of them instantly turned around and there was Owen, leaning against a table near a fireplace. His eyes were a bit shiny and Shepard thought maybe there were tears.
Owen walked right up to Liam and pulled him into an embrace. He held him tightly for a few moments, saying something quietly that Shepard and Kaidan couldn’t hear. She felt uncomfortable, like she was witnessing familial intimacy that she shouldn’t be privy to.
After a couple minutes, the hug broke and she could see that Liam was barely holding it together himself now.
“Katie, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you,” Owen pressed his hands together in thanks, giving her a slight bow. “I owe you a debt I fear I could never repay.”
Shepard waved her hand and offered a kind smile. “You don’t owe me anything. He’s your brother, it’s the least I could do. Besides, it was my mission to investigate Major Kyle’s compound anyway. Bringing back Liam was just a small detour.”
Owen nodded soberly, standing close to her but careful not to touch. She got the sense their last interaction had him more cautious today. She’d told him she never wanted to see him again, and she meant it. It was completely fair, but it probably still hurt him to hear.
“You’ve always had a heart of gold, Katie. I’ve been a damn fool, didn’t deserve your grace and generosity,” he shook his head. “I will respect your wishes and leave you alone. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”
Out of her peripheral vision she noticed Kaidan staring at Owen, arms folded across his chest, body completely tense. When she looked at him, she could see the way his eyes bore into him. She wished she knew what he was thinking right then.
Owen must have noticed too because his focus turned to Kaidan. A slight grin began to spread across his face and Shepard could immediately tell that Owen picked up on something. He’d always been good at that.
“I’m sure you’d certainly make me regret it if I went against my word,” he quipped with a raise of an eyebrow. “Always glad to see someone has Katie girl’s back.”
Kaidan didn’t miss a beat. “That’s what I’m here for,” he replied bluntly, slowly sizing him up.
Shepard moved in a little closer to Kaidan, trying to catch his gaze, but he wouldn’t tear his away from Owen.
Kaidan automatically placed one hand on her back, gently, then quickly pulled it away as if he hadn’t intended to do that.
Owen glanced between the two of them, then realization reached his eyes. She could swear she saw a flicker of jealousy or anger, but it quickly went away and was replaced by a grin.
“Well I just hope you do a better job than I did,” Owen said softly. “She slipped right through my fingers.”
Shepard coughed. “I don’t know about that, I’d say it was the other way around.”
Owen looked at her seriously for a moment then nodded. “That’s fair.”
“Liam, you take care,” she started, glancing at him behind Owen. She needed to change the subject and get them on their way. “I know you’ve been through a lot. Please, let your family be there for you. You have a lot of people who love you.” At that last part she smiled at Owen, who seemed to thank her again with his eyes.
“I appreciate you getting me back to my brother, Kate,” Liam said quietly. “Sorry for all the trouble.”
“You’re a good kid, Liam,” Kaidan smiled. “It wasn’t much trouble. We’re just glad everyone involved is safe.”
“We really need to be getting back,” Shepard began, looking at Kaidan.
“Duty calls,” he smiled.
“I hope the two of you have a safe trip back home. Please tell your parents I said hello.”
“Absolutely. Please know they are full of gratitude. Bringing back our Liam means the world to us all,” Owen said earnestly, patting Liam on the shoulder.
As they were starting to walk away, Shepard heard Owen say her name again. Reluctantly, she turned around.
“Katie. Be happy,” he smiled kindly. “I hope you find everything in life you’ve ever wanted. You deserve it more than anyone I know.”
“Thank you,” she sighed with a slight smile. “I hope you find peace and contentment, Owen. You have a good heart.”
She didn’t give him a chance to say anything else. She wanted to believe Owen meant it when he said he’d leave her be, that he would let her live her life without anymore disruptions from him. But she also knew he was a very charismatic man and always good at keeping the conversation going. This time it needed to be done. She had to walk away from him again—this time for good. She’d genuinely moved on with her life before he’d contacted her, and she found that despite seeing him again and having to think back on their messy history, she was truly over him and what they’d had. Shepard had no hope for salvaging something that could not be fixed. She didn’t wish for a different life, the one she had now she liked just fine. It wasn’t Owen who consumed her thoughts these days, memories of their love-making from years ago didn’t even cross her mind when she had a private moment for self pleasure. She didn’t need a man to make her happy, she’d been finding that to be the case before she even met Kaidan. But there was no denying that something very special had come along unlike anything she’d had before and rules be damned—she was going to make the most of it.
“You okay?” Kaidan asked quietly, disrupting her chain of thoughts. He moved his body closer to hers as they walked through the Wards.
“You know what? I am. I really am,” she grinned, her hand absently brushing against his.
His eyes found hers and he returned her grin, threading his fingers into hers. Her cheeks warmed and she felt butterflies in her stomach. It was a very nice feeling.
“I think if anything, I’m mostly just relieved. I’ve moved on and I’m glad Owen showing up proved to only be a momentary disruption and nothing else,” she explained, slightly squeezing his hand. “He belongs in the past and that’s where he’ll stay.”
“I’ve got to admit, that does make me glad to hear,” Kaidan confessed. “I know it’s selfish and probably out of line, but I want to be the guy…in your present. And hopefully in your future too.”
“Lieutenant Alenko, you’re being quite forward,” she chuckled flirtatiously. “What is it that you’re proposing?”
“I apologize if I’m getting a bit ahead of myself,” he laughed. “But I do have a proposition. Something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but didn’t think we’d get the chance.”
“Oh? And what’s that?” She asked curiously with a slight smirk on her lips.
“Well, we have a few hours to spare,” he started, giving her a slight wink. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“I was starting to think you’d never ask,” she beamed.
The rest of the afternoon was practically perfect. It was as if the two of them weren’t high ranking Alliance soldiers on an urgent mission to potentially save the galaxy. They were just two humans—a man and a woman—in the early stages of love, strolling hand in hand along a tree-lined path, making eyes at each other while they enjoyed the scenic views of the botanical gardens in the Presidium. They chatted excitedly, laughing softly, getting to know each other the way they would have if anything about either of their lives had been remotely normal. Occasionally Kaidan would sweep them aside, concealed behind a tree or in the shadow of an alcove, and steal kisses from her lips. Most of them were quick and gentle, but a couple times he’d allowed his hands to wander—his lips sensually brushing against her ear—and she certainly did not stop him. It was a true first date, and even if it was the only one they’d ever get to have, Shepard still would have died content.
After spending a good amount of time at the gardens, they’d found a museum nearby to explore. It displayed ancient art of the Asari, a large collection of sculptures by 18th century Salarians, modern paintings from Turians, and an odd mixture of art from humans, of which the overwhelming majority of pieces seemed to be Da Vincis and Warhols. Neither of them had much artistic gifting, but they both found looking at and discussing art to be entertaining and interesting. They’d ended their evening at a small restaurant in Zakera Ward that boasted the best sushi on the entire Citadel and the only place to stock human chocolate. Kaidan was ecstatic when he saw Peruvian Whiskey on the menu, and he’d ordered them a bottle of the TM88. They’d shared a decadent piece of chocolate cake while watching an Asari musical group perform. It was the first time in years Shepard tasted chocolate and it was even better than she remembered. He promised he would always try to get her chocolate, and she promised him she’d always get him that TM88 Peruvian Whiskey.
Once they left the restaurant, they ended up making out in an elevator. The whole day they’d been holding back, slightly testing the bounds a few time, but remaining in control. Their resolve had broken down and now that they had a moment of privacy, they couldn’t hold back. He’d threaded his fingers into her hair, clasping the back of her head as he pressed her against the wall. She moaned into his kiss as he slid his tongue into her mouth. Every inch of her skin burned for his touch, and she’d dug her fingernails into his back when he dragged his lips down to the bottom of her neck, giving her soft nibbles along the way. His mouth found hers again while his free hand slid up under her shirt. He pinched her nipple hard as she bit down on his lip, groaning his name in pleasure. In turn, he ground his hardness against her, instantly sending heat between her legs. If they’d had more time, she would have let him take her right then and there. She ached to be filled with him.
It was over as fast as it began, them both quickly straightening out their clothing and trying to appear normal as they caught their breath. They were back a bit early to the ship because Shepard had some things she needed to go over before they made their way to Noveria. Kaidan was fine with that, just hoping the ship was still mostly empty so he’d have the fitness area all to himself.
“I had an amazing time with you today,” he grinned at her as they waited for sterilization to finish before entering the ship. “I would love to do that again.”
“I did too,” she blushed. “And I would be delighted to.”
As they stepped on the ship the first thing they heard was a loud expletive from the cockpit followed by a loud thump. They immediately turned that way and Shepard screamed when she beheld the source of the sound.
Trying to stand up with his trousers partially down while a nearly naked brunette woman knelt between his legs—awkwardly padding her hand on the floor as if searching for her clothes—was Joker, cursing and appearing startled.
“Joker, what the hell is going on here?” Kaidan demanded, glancing at Shepard. She was frozen still with her hand covering her mouth.
“Why are you guys back already? Shore leave’s not over until midnight,” Joker groaned in irritation.
“That’s just the curfew, anyone can come back to the ship at any time,” Kaidan shook his head.
Joker managed to slide his pants all the way up and the woman found her dress. “I don’t exactly get much privacy around here, okay? Like, I have needs, dude. It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve gotten laid. Do you have any idea what that does to a person?” Joker exclaimed.
“Three whole weeks, huh?” Shepard muttered sarcastically, folding her arms around herself uncomfortably.
“I’m sorry you had to see this,” he sighed. “I tried my best. Even made sure the CCTV was disabled in here, I’m not an idiot.”
Shepard’s stomach sank the instant he said it. The CCTV. Only an idiot wound’t think to disable it before doing something private, something you wouldn’t want everyone else to see. She was an idiot. They were both gigantic idiots.
“What?” Joker asked defensively.
“Huh?” She murmured, her mind trapped in a state of panic as she considered all the possible repercussions to come.
“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me, it’s not doing much for my confidence. Judge much?” He snarled with no small amount of snark.
“I need to go,” she breathed, then turned and ran for the steps to the lower deck.
“What the fuck is her deal?” She heard Joker demand to Kaidan behind her. She didn’t stick around to hear the response. She needed to talk to Tali immediately. Maybe it still wasn’t too late. Perhaps with the master-hacker abilities of her new friend, she could prevent this footage from ever being discovered.