Chapter Text
You woke up to blue light waves shining in your eyes. Yelping, you swung your hands up to cover your eyes. You then looked down, shielding your eyes from the light. Spamton was there, arms wrapped around you, clinging tightly, his face buried into your side. You felt his nose poking at your skin. Spamton breathed out soft snores that sounded more like squeaks than anything. Fuck, he’s too adorable, you thought, smiling a little. You began to rub Spamton’s head. His hair was soft, and was starting to get a little curly at the ends now that it wasn’t crusty anymore. You suddenly felt Spamton move his head up to look at you. He was drowsy, and moved slowly. His glasses were crooked on his face, exposing his cartoonish dot eyes.
“Good morning.” You said.
“Mformnfhh.” Spamton groaned drowsily and buried his face in your side again. “Comfy.” He groaned, dragging out the ‘y’.
Damn he’s getting real comfortable despite knowing me for less than a day, You thought.
Spamton’s stomach rumbled.
“Hungry?” You asked.
“Mmf nooooooooooo[STARVING ORPHANS NEED DONATIONS TODAY!]” Spamton groaned, denying his hunger for the comfort of cuddling you. He tightened his grip on you, and moved his head from your side to your thigh.
Okay, he is reaaaaaaaaallllly comfortable, You thought.
You tried to pick him up, but he clung tighter. You tried to pry his arms off you, but he squeezed you uncomfortably tightly.
You stood up, but he clung to you. You walked to your kitchen with him clinging onto you for dear life.
“So I’m guessing you’re not a morning person.” You sighed.
Spamton let out a muffled ‘yes’ with his face buried in your thigh. You opened your freezer and grabbed a box of frozen strawberry waffles. You took four waffles out of the box and put them in your toaster. You put the box back in the freezer and walked back to your couch, grabbing your phone off the countertop.
“C’mon, let go of me already.” You complained.
Spamton finally let go, landing very ungracefully on the floor with a groan. You picked him up and laid on the couch. You laid him belly down on your chest, his face only a couple inches away from yours. You pulled up your phone, turning it on, unlocking it, and opening the camera app. You took Spamton’s glasses off his eyes and put them on the coffee table. You then took a picture of him. The image looked funny since he was facing forward, but also it was cute. Spamton stared at you silently. He vaguely reminded you of a cat. You closed the camera app and went on a chat app.
You went to your friend group chat and posted the picture of Spamton with the caption ‘found this weird looking rat in a dumpster should i keep him or nah’. You then pinged everyone.
Cum master: bro its 7 am dont ping us
Amogus imposter: eat it
Susly: I dont think thats a rat
Penis keeper: keep it
Bongus: who is that
k ill keep him :Fuckman69 (You)
You got off the chat app as you heard the waffles pop up from the toaster. You turned off your phone and put it on the coffee table. You then stared at Spamton for a moment. There was something about him that… mesmerized you. Staring into his pitch black pupils you felt yourself start to zone out.
“What, are you gonna [KISS HOT MAIDS] me or something? Not that I’d mind, [angel].” Spamton flirted, smirking. This pulled you out of your daze. You felt your face heat up.
Am I really falling for a homeless puppet? You thought incredulously. You felt Spamton scoot up closer to your face until his nose was pressing into your skin. Yes, yes I am.
“Guess what,” He whispered as if telling a secret, “I’m [STARVING CHILDREN DONATE NOW], let’s go eat waffles.”
------beginning of mild smut scene--------
Spamton then sat upright, realizing his legs were on your shoulders. His crotch was basically in your face, making you have funny little thoughts.
“Damn wouldn’t it be funny if I started sucking your cock.” You joked, attempting to make the situation less awkward. Spamton blushed, then smirked. He scooted forward until his crotch rubbed against your chin. You nuzzled his crotch with your chin. You felt something squirming against the thin fabric of the shirt he was wearing, -which was your shirt, you remembered- as you sped up the nuzzling. Spamton let out a soft moan. You felt something rise. Well, now you have a boner. You were gonna do something about it but, before you could, you remembered the waffles. They’re probably cold by now, You thought bitterly. While you were zoning out thinking about waffles, Spamton had begun to hump your face. Oh, yeah, we’re still doing this, You thought, zoning back in. You weren’t really sure what to do, since Spamton was doing all the ‘work’ himself. You chose to stay still and let him do his thing until he was done. In this case, ‘his thing’ was your face. By now, you stopped being horny and your boner went down. Spamton’s thrusts became more sloppy and desperate as he felt his climax near.
“Spamton I swear to god if you cum on my shirt I’m gonna…” You trailed off realizing you have nothing to threaten him with.
“Y0u’re g0nn4 wh4t, [doll]?” Spamton teased.
“I’m gonna do this.” You smugly said, lifting him off your face, quickly shifting to a kneeling position, and slamming him on the couch.
Spamton gasped out of shock from your sudden change in disposition. You pulled Spamton closer to your crotch. His face was fully red now, and steam was coming from his mouth. He panted heavily from arousal. You smirked, then leaned down so your mouth was next to his face.
You breathed heavily, making him quiver and then whispered, “The waffles are definitely cold by now.”
----------end of mild smut scene---------
You got up smugly, and walked to the kitchen leaving Spamton on the couch. His face was still red, and he had a somewhat betrayed look on his face.
After you reheated the waffles, you grabbed two plates and put two waffles on each plate. You grabbed syrup and butter and set those on the coffee table with the waffles.You grabbed two forks and knives and set them on the coffee table. Spamton perked up a bit when he saw the food. You moved a plate closer to him. He grabbed a waffle before unhinging his jaw like an eldritch abomination and flinging out his long black tongue, wrapping it around the waffle and retracting his tongue quickly, swallowing the waffle whole.
You stared at him, somewhat shocked, and unsure what to say. You then smirked.
“Kinky.” You said, while Spamton was repeating the same action of eating.
Spamton choked out of shock. You watched him struggle to swallow the waffle until he eventually got it down, his grin becoming a grimace. He glared at you. “Did [YOU H4VE TO SEE THESE NEW DEALS!] say that while I was [EATING BORING FOOD? TRY NEW FOOD!]” Spamton grumbled, but his red painted cheeks grew redder.
You chuckled, ignoring his question. You poured syrup and butter on your waffles before putting the waffles together like a sandwich. You shoved the waffles in your mouth, chewing a bit before swallowing a large chunk of waffle sandwich without struggle. You don’t have a gag reflex.
After you both finished eating, you put both plates and sets of dishware in the sink and washed your hands.
You sat back down on the couch with a sigh. You were bored.
“Welp uhh.” You tried to spark up a conversation. Nothing came to mind. Spamton stared at you, waiting for you to speak. You remembered he was still wearing your shirt. “We should uh, get you some new clothes.”
“Why? I [LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE OR ELSE I’LL KILL YOUR FAMILY] your clothes.” Spamton whined.
“I literally just met you last night, you're not taking MY clothes.” You said.
“I- okay [fine shawty gotta be playin]” Spamton sighed.
You stood up and walked to your laundry room, grabbing Spamton’s normal clothes out of the dryer. You walked back to the living room and passed them to Spamton. Spamton grabbed them from you and walked to the bathroom to change. After he was done changing he came back out and you grabbed your wallet. You had multiple gift cards and 1000 dark dollars. You decided your budget for the day was 300 dark dollars. You put on your shoes and grabbed your phone, slipping your phone into you pocket along with your wallet.
“M’kay’ c’mon.” You said, grabbing Spamton’s hand without thinking. “We’re gonna go to the mall.”
“[Shopping retail outlets near you!]? I haven’t been th3re for a [long, long, l0ng, long, long, long, |ong-” Spamton began.
“Okay cool but please shut the actual fuck up.” You said irritably. You didn’t wanna deal with him blabbing on and on.
Spamton quietly pouted while you basically dragged him with you out the door.
Out on the sidewalk now, you grasping Spamton’s hand tightly, Spamton became more nervous. He didn’t like being out in the open. At least he was with you, that made him feel a bit safer. He let out a sigh of contentment. You started walking faster. Spamton with his tiny legs couldn’t catch up. You huffed and picked him up, causing him to yelp out of surprise.
“WHY ARE YOU [pick up, carry out, drop off] ME?” Spamton yelled, you picking him up without warning caught him off guard.
“Shh, why do you have to be so loud?! Anyway, you’re slow, and I don’t have the patience for this.” You grumbled, putting Spamton on your shoulders.
Spamton clung tightly to your head while you were full on sprinting to the mall. Within 8 minutes, you finally reached your destination. When you entered the mall you took Spamton off your shoulders, much to his disappointment. For whatever reason, the mall was packed. There were a lot of people there today. You instinctively grabbed Spamton’s hand. You ragdolled and then dragged Spamton around the mall in search of a doll clothing outlet. Eventually you found an outlet that sold dolls and doll clothes. You were about to go on but Spamton just had to say something about it, didn’t he?
“Wait, why are we going in the [dollhouse! dollhouse! it's a dollhouse!]?” Spamton asked nervously.
“I doubt regular clothes will fit you, and I doubt you’d want to wear baby clothes, so the only option left is doll clothes.” You explained.
Spamton nodded in understanding, but then said, “I’m not gonna wear anything…weird.”
You smirked, “We’ll see about that.”
You both entered the store. The sight was immediately overwhelming. There were dolls with pretty pink dresses on shelves with fake flowers. The entire store reeked of perfume and plastic. The overwhelming smell of cheap fabric filled your nose, causing you to cough a little. It was also very cold, as if the owner of the store had the A.C. on full blast. There were also kids there. A lot of kids. Specifically snobby looking darkners with the occasional lightner scattered around the place. These kids were screeching to their parents to buy things for them, crying when they weren’t allowed to, hitting things and probably committing property damage, the usual spoiled kid things. You wrinkled your nose in disgust. God, how much you hated children. Especially spoiled children. You held on tighter to Spamton’s hand. God knows what these kids would do to him if they got their crusty hands on him. You shivered in disgust.
“Stay close, got it?” You muttered to him. Spamton nodded silently, unnerved by how -for lack of a better word- dark your tone of voice was.
You began to walk around the aisles, in search of something that could fit Spamton and was in his style. Most of the clothing there was dresses and skirts, or bright pink shirts. Eventually you found an aisle with darker, monochromatic clothes. Unfortunately, the clothes there were the kind of thing emo people would wear, but it was better than nothing. You lifted Spamton up and onto your shoulders again so he could see things on the higher shelves. He picked out some black and white tie-dye shirts, with some black shorts. He also picked out some plain black pants and some black high heeled boots. When he wasn’t looking you grabbed a crop top, a black skirt and thigh highs, thinking it would be funny to see him in them.
When you both were done finding clothes, you set Spamton on the floor and grabbed the clothes he wanted from him. He held onto your leg tightly, wary of the children nearby. You walked up to the register area and placed all the clothes down so the cashier could scan them. The cashier quickly scanned all the things you ordered, and then you paid. The cashier put all the clothes in a bag and gave you the bag.
You walked out, the bag in one hand, with your other hand clutching Spamton’s hand. Now that you were finally out of the store, you immediately relaxed, tension rolling off your shoulders as you let out a hefty sigh.
“M’kay’, well, I’m hungry, let’s go to the food court.” You said, tightening your grip on Spamton’s hand. You dragged him to the food court before he could even say anything.
When you got in the food court you immediately looked for the Pizza Tent and the Dairy Ruler. Those are your favorite fast food places. You walked near the Pizza Tent, far enough not to be-
-----------again, im sorry for not coninuing this. but! anyone is welcome to continue this if they want---------------
------------------------------NOW FOR THE SMUT THINGY___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Spamton buried his face in his hands, blushing.
“I’m sure it’s fine. I won't be weirded out or anything, I promise.” You insisted gently, pulling down his pants.
What you saw surprised you. Instead of a normal dick like you expected, there was a tentacle. Or, more accurately, a cluster of tentacles, all of which were wriggling and squirming, seeking friction.
“Huh, that's… not, uh, what I was expecting…” You said awkwardly.
Spamton buried his face further into his palms, letting out a whine.
“I meant that in a good way of course,” You said quickly, reassuring him, “Tentacles are hot as fuck.” It was true, you did have a tentacle fetish. Now how am I gonna fit this in my mouth..? You wondered.
-------------------------------okay gobye_----------___---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------