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Like every normal day on the weekend, Satan expected to wake up sometime in the late afternoon because he had stayed up too late reading the novel he just bought. He’d probably make himself breakfast and bring it with him right back to the library where would read until he was tired again and then the next day started.
However, Satan wasn’t allowed this. No, today just had to be different. And it had to be none other than Lord Diavolo to be the one messing it up.
“Satan.”
Satan groaned as he turned to the other side of his bed because something bright was shining in his eyes. None of his brothers ever dared to open his door, much less turn on a light when he was asleep, so who could it possibly be?
“Hello? Satan."
Like the flip of a switch, Satan’s fury immediately ignited and he shot out of his bed with fire already on his fingers to burn whoever it was into oblivion. Until he opened his eyes and discovered it was Diavolo standing in front of him.
As much as he wanted to go off on Diavolo, he knew his place. He took a long breath before dousing the flames on his hands and balling them into fists while he gritted his teeth. “Lord Diavolo..” He began while the wrath inside of him continued to boil. “What. In. The. Hell. Are you doing?!?!”
Diavolo didn’t appear remorseful at all as he chuckled and patted Satan’s shoulder like Satan was in on whatever this was. Satan certainly wasn’t. “I have something special planned for today so meet everyone in the dining hall when you’re ready.”
“Make sure you’re down in ten minutes.” Barbatos added with a pointed look at Diavolo.
“Yes, of course, but please take your time-”
“And be down in nine minutes.”
Satan didn’t even have the patience to laugh and silently waved them away before rushing to throw on his usual green sweater and pull his blue jacket over his shoulders before running his hands through his hair and storming downstairs to meet everyone else.
He was relieved that he wasn’t the only one being inconvenienced here. The rest of his brothers were all seated at the dining table, half-asleep or just as pissed as Satan was. Belphegor was fast asleep on his pillow leaning against his armrest, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
Mammon was right next to him, lying on Belphie’s pillow with his mouth open as he drooled. He didn’t even bother changing as he was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and bright yellow pajama pants. Asmodeus and Leviathan were across from them, both of their eyes were red and watery as they were both still staring at their respective phone and game console. If Satan had to guess, they hadn’t even gotten to sleep, and that was a surprise considering Asmo valued his beauty sleep more than anything.
How odd.
Lucifer was at the head of the table. His clothes were as orderly as ever but it couldn’t cover the dark circles under his eyes. Satan felt no small satisfaction at that. At least he wasn’t the only one miserable here.
“Okay, I know this might have been last minute and that you all weren’t prepared to not sleep in today, but trust me, you will all love this. Especially Satan.”
Satan blinked in confusion at Diavolo’s beaming grin and also didn’t understand why Lucifer gave him a scolding glare. Again, how odd.
“Ever since Satan has been telling me about all of the mystery novels he’s been reading, I thought that we should try solving one ourselves.”
Satan glanced around, making sure that he wasn’t the only one hearing this ridiculousness and was gladly met with matching appalled expressions.
“Well, more accurately, it will be all of you.” Barbatos announced with a not-so friendly smile. “The master here has been researching more in the human realm about this and has found a fun way to test it.”
Diavolo clapped his hands in excitement as he explained. “They call it escape rooms. What you do is..”
Everyone else internally groaned while they tuned Diavolo out and mimicked Belphie by leaning back against their chairs to sleep. Unfortunately, they weren’t left in peace.
“Since no one wants to listen, let’s go ahead and begin.”
Satan and his brothers quickly shot out of their seats as the ground began to shake, the room grew dark, and thunder quaked in the background. They all stepped away from Barbatos as he was giving them his terrifying and threatening grin with a pitch-black aura surrounding him.
“And you will begin if you ever want to leave this house.”
“Wait-” Lucifer began but he didn’t get to apologize as Barbatos and Diavolo disappeared. They all simultaneously groaned again as they collapsed back into their chairs.
“You really need to do something about him, Lucifer.” Asmo demanded as he finished fixing his hair.
“And what is it that I’m supposed to do?!”
“Wait guys,” Levi interrupted and everyone turned to him warily. It was never a good sign when Levi was willing to speak up. “He said if we want to get out, right? Well the question is, do we even want to get out? We don’t have to go to RAD so where else would we be going?”
The brothers paused as they thought it over and were about to agree to go back to their rooms to sleep until Barbatos’s voice rang through the room. “If you even think about not participating, then I’ll be taking what’s precious to all of you, one at a time. And I’ll be starting with the Ruri-chan figurine.”
“That’s not so bad. I can always buy my books again.” Satan shrugged until Levi ran over to him and pulled on his arm with a cry.
“Uwahhh no!!” Levi was already beginning to tear up. “Please Satan, don’t let Ruri-chan be taken from me! She was a rare collector’s figurine that-”
“Alright, alright!” Satan cut in harshly. He could care less about that figurine, but he cared even less for Levi’s whining explanation. He sighed in exhaustion as he glanced down at the random paper that just appeared in his hand. “Was anyone listening to what he said before?”
“Something about finding clues and escaping?” Beelzebub mumbled around a large sandwich that Satan didn’t remember being there before.
“Yes.” Lucifer nodded as he adjusted the outer robe of his outfit. “It seems we’ll have to solve these clues to find keys to other clues which will eventually lead to finding the key to unlocking the front door.”
They all let that sink in before realizing all of the doors to the dining room were locked shut and figured that their first clue would be to find the key for them. Satan would’ve rather solved this with the exchange student, but unfortunately, they were on a trip to the human realm with Solomon. Which left him stuck to work with his brothers on this. Great .
“Morian Schead was born on July 27, 1763.” Satan began to read aloud off of the paper in his hands. “Who the hell cares about that??” The others shrugged with a sigh. “He was a wonderful clockmaker that lived in a small town. However, never once did he leave the town and was content spending the rest of his life in a small cottage. His only regret was never finding love.”
Mammon scoffed as he shook his head while picking at his nails. “What an idiot. He could’ve made so much money if he was that good. What a waste, if you ask me.”
“We didn’t.” Asmo snapped with a vicious glare at Mammon, who scowled right back at him.
“Oi! He said we’re supposed to be working together to solve this, so you’re gonna need to ask me. Right?” Mammon gave everyone pointed looks, but they only rolled their eyes at him before moving on. “Hey! I asked all of you a question-”
“Maybe it’s about the clock.” Levi suggested as he leaned against Satan’s shoulders to read the clue over again. “There’s that new clock over there on the wall. Maybe the key’s in there?”
Satan shook his head at the suggestion. It couldn’t be that easy nor obvious. Every mystery novel he’s read in the past couple of months has shown him that the answer is always the one you never think of. Definitely not the first answer you think of.
“It can’t be that simple. There has to be more to it.”
“Maybe it’s about that love part?” Asmo suggested as he dodged a napkin that Mammon threw at him. “Why else would that be added?”
“And how are we supposed to find love?” Belphie asked with a wide yawn before moving his pillow to the table and closing his eyes again.
“Well love is typically associated with hearts, flowers, Cupid’s arrows, rings, etc.” Satan answered as he surveyed the room but couldn’t find anything along those lines. “Thanks Asmo, but I don’t think it’s that either.”
“Just try Levi’s clock idea already and let’s get outta here!” Mammon demanded as he started annoyingly tapping on the table. “I want to leave.”
“Well so does everyone else, if you could actually help out-” Lucifer began to scold, but then Mammon quickly turned to Beel, who was rifling through the room for food.
“Yo, Beel, knock down that clock right next to you.”
Beel squinted at the clock with an uneasy expression. “Isn’t it the one Lucifer just bought-”
“Mammon!” Lucifer shouted as he grabbed Mammon’s collar, threateningly. “I swear if you so much as-”
He broke off as the resounding sound of shattering glass and breaking wood erupted. It woke Belphie up in an instant and startled Asmo so much that the lip gloss he was applying smeared across his cheek. Everyone else slowly turned to see Satan standing in the middle of the mess he just created.
“Would you look at that?” He bent down and carefully picked out of the large key that no doubt opened the doors. “The key really was in there.”
“SATAN!!”
He didn’t bother listening as he immediately ran to open the door and walked down the next hall they were led to. He was more disappointed that he liked to admit at how easy that clue was. He’d been wanting to solve a real mystery ever since he started reading those novels. Nothing had been hard enough for him yet, and he’s tried plenty of games Levi suggested to him. He beat them without effort every time. If the rest were as easy as the last, he was going to get tired of this quickly.
None of the other doors would open as they passed. Lucifer was preparing to knock one down until Levi reminded him that they had to follow the rules, otherwise Ruri-chan would go missing. Therefore, they wisely went where they were being led.
When they turned around the next corner, the door to the common room was wide open. As soon as they all stepped inside, the door slammed shut behind them.
“We should have seen that one coming.” Lucifer admonished with an exasperated sigh as he took a seat on the couch. Belphie and Beel followed suit, sitting on either side of him while Satan, followed by Levi, Asmo, and Mammon searched around the room.
“Found a clue yet?”
“If I did,” Mammon glared back at Asmo’s condescending expression. “I would’ve let ya know.”
Satan tuned out his brothers as they began to bicker and he searched for the clue. It shouldn’t have been hidden because there wasn’t any information provided to find it. Sure enough, after a couple minutes, he found it underneath the pillow on the chair across from the couch.
“Kui Fukuhara, born on February 6, 1453,” Satan read off, confused as to why that information was being provided again. “was never able to burn bright enough for others to remember her for centuries to come.”
“Seriously, what is up with these weird clues?” Mammon asked as he cringed at the clue, and Asmo reluctantly nodded with him. “Where does Diavolo come up with this shi-” He broke off with a cough as Lucifer’s red eyes began to shine with fury.
“Burn? So doesn’t that mean the fireplace?” Beel suggested and Levi jumped right on dousing the fire, but Satan wasn’t convinced it would be that easy again. Or more accurately, he hoped it wasn’t.
Thankfully, he was proven correct after Beel, Mammon, and Levi dug through the ashes and wooden logs without finding a single key.
“But that doesn’t make sense!” Asmo cried as he checked inside the fireplace. “Beel, come climb up the chimney and check inside for the key.”
“No you don’t.” Satan sighed as he pushed Beel back onto the couch. “It won’t be in there, stop getting distracted, Asmo.”
“I was trying to help!"
“What about the candles in the chandelier?” Levi suggested as he started to climb onto the table to reach them. “Beel, can you come help me with this?”
“Why does no one ask for me?” Belphie mumbled, indignantly, against his pillow. “I’m sitting right here.”
“Then check the candelabras on that dresser.” Beel suggested as he moved to help hold Levi’s waist as he reached for the candles.
“No thanks, I’m too tired.”
Everyone groaned while simultaneously throwing pillows at Belphie, who threw them right back before turning his back to them and snoring.
As they were all checking the candles, Satan paced back and forth in front of the fireplace. He still didn’t think it was as simple as that. Yes, burning immediately led to fire, but was that really what was being referred to here?
He read over the clue several times before pacing again. Like he’s read dozens of times, he listed the subjects of the clue: birth date, burning, not remembered. He paused as he thought of that last part: not being remembered for centuries to come.
As his eyes slid over the room again, it finally hit him. “Everyone, stop. I solved it.” They all paused to wait for Satan’s explanation.
“Something that has the ability to burn objects and has been remembered for many centuries and many more to come can be none other than a dragon.” He explained as he pointed at the enormous dragon decoration hanging above their fireplace. “In the legends, dragons can spew fire and they continue to be remembered as everyone passes down these legends. Now the key should be hidden in the part that creates the fire.”
Sure enough, when he reached inside the mouth of the dragon, he felt a key and pulled it out to show his brothers. “Looks like it’s on to the next one.”
Now this was something Satan could thoroughly enjoy. And he continued to as they solved clues in one room to the next. Even though his brothers were eager to finish this, he would’ve been happy to continue this for days. He wanted nothing more than to keep learning about the clues and how to properly solve them.
He’s always believed that knowledge is a great form of power, but no one can achieve it overnight. Learning is essential in order to succeed in anything, and Satan’s been more than happy to learn everything he can throughout his endless life. Now what he wanted most was to learn how to keep solving these mysteries as they continued to grow more difficult.
When they finally unlocked the doors to the entrance hall, his brothers shouted in excitement while Satan secretly hoped it would take the rest of the night to solve the final clue.
Belphie was the first to find the clue hidden under the doormat and handed it to Satan, confusing him as to why Belphie didn’t just read it aloud instead.
“Born on November 15-” Satan paused as he thought over the past ten clues they solved. “How come every clue reveals the person’s birth date? Why is it so important to tell us that? None of them ever say when they died, just about their birth. Why??”
As he thought it over, he noticed the uneasy looks his brothers were giving each other. Satan was grateful for all of the novels he read to notice when others were trying to be subtle but were panicking on the inside. “What is it?”
No one answered.
“What, is it Diavolo’s birthday or something? Is that why he set all of this up?”
Asmo and Levi chuckled nervously while Mammon and Beel avoided his eyes. Belphie shrugged with a yawn while Lucifer remained impassive as always. Satan was starting to feel like he was on the verge of solving something important. At least important enough for his brothers to keep it from him.
“Lucifer would’ve had us preparing for that months ahead so just keep reading, unless you’d rather have the Great Mammon finally read it-”
“Born on November 15, a famous glass blower walked the line between death and life every day.”
“To the windows!” Mammon shouted as he hurriedly scrounged for the key while Asmo headed for the mirrors along the walls. He looked at his reflection more than for the key. Belphie and Beel were glancing around and asked Lucifer what he thought, but he only shrugged.
It struck Satan that Lucifer has barely said a word this entire time. He reminded them of the rules and nothing else. He didn’t offer suggestions or try to help out to solve these clues like the rest of his brothers. Now there was definitely something amiss going on here.
“Lucifer,” Satan started to ask as he moved close enough to face his brother. “why won’t you help out? Are you secretly working with Diavolo and Barbatos on this?”
“Of course not. If I was, why would I want to stay here instead of remaining with them?”
Satan rubbed his chin in thought. That would make more sense, but he still had the feeling that Lucifer was still holding something back. Before he could keep thinking about it, an object caught his eye.
He strode for a bench next to the door and reached for the pair of shoes hidden underneath. They usually removed their shoes here when they walked inside and sometimes they forgot their shoes underneath it. The clue mentioned walking which led Satan to think of paths or travelling but when he saw the pair of shoes, he knew it was the answer.
One was white while the other was black, representing the yin yang symbolization of opposites. And in that case it would be referring to life and death. Which was what the clue revealed the person walked between.
When he reached inside, he felt a small box and pulled it out to show his brothers. As he finally took notice of it, he discovered that the box was wrapped like a birthday present. Suddenly, the reasoning beyond the birth dates in the clues was making sense.
“It is someone’s birthday.” Satan whispered as he started to unwrap the box. “But if it’s not Diavolo’s, then..”
..you will all love this. Especially Satan.
Satan had thought it was unusual that Diavolo would plan an event that Satan would enjoy. It wasn’t like they were close like Diavolo and Lucifer were. So why would he put in extra effort for Satan to enjoy it?
Ever since Satan has been telling me about all of the mystery novels he’s been reading..
That part also struck Satan’s curiosity. He’s been rambling about mystery novels for months, so how come Diavolo was starting to take notice now?
As Satan opened the box, he found that the key was the same color green that Asmo had painted his nails as. When he slid it into the front door’s keyhole and began to unlock it, it was as if the same thing was happening in his mind. He unlocked the final clue to solve what was really going on.
“The people’s birthdays, my mystery novel fascination, everyone stepping aside to let me take over, it’s all because it’s my-”
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SATAN!!"
Before Satan knew it, he opened the door and not only did Diavolo and Barbatos shout it, but his brothers jumped him from behind with a tight embrace as they also shouted it into his ears.
His usual reaction would be to yell at them right back and shove them away, but he actually didn’t want to. Instead his lips lifted in a bright smile as he laughed along with his brothers, who were all fighting to get the best hold on Satan to hug him.
“You didn’t know it was today, correct?” Barbatos asked and Satan nodded. They have all been living for so long that celebrations like that weren’t necessary because they had already forgotten how old they were, much less the day they were born.
It was mostly Mammon that remembered, for the sake of getting money, and Asmo, for the sake of getting attention from his fans. Otherwise, it was just like any other day.
“Thank you Diavolo and Barbatos for all of this. It was probably one of the greatest birthday presents I’ve received.”
Diavolo chuckled with a pat on Satan’s shoulder. “You still didn’t figure it out, did you? It was all Lucifer’s idea.”
Satan blinked with a start at Lucifer, who was crossing his arms with a frown at Diavolo, but Satan noticed the slight pink dusting Lucifer’s cheeks. For once, Satan didn’t feel like mocking him for it.
“He knew it was coming up, and with the help of the exchange student and the rest of your brothers, they came up with the idea of an escape house.” Barbatos tapped Diavolo’s shoulder and handed a note to him. In turn, Diavolo handed it to Satan. “Here’s their letter.”
Happy Birthday Satan! Hoped you would enjoy solving a good mystery and spending some alone time with your brothers. We all wanted to give you a birthday you would always remember.
See you soon!
Satan glanced up at his brothers, who were all staring back at him with expectant glances. He didn’t want to admit that there were tears forming at the corners of his eyes, but they were.
“You loved the gift then?” Barbatos asked with a pointed look.
He knew the normal thing to do was scoff and walk back to his room, but Satan faced his brothers directly with a tender smile. “I did and I-I love you all, too.”
He didn’t have time to thank them as they all jumped at him for another large embrace and ended up knocking them all to the ground. Satan couldn’t fight the laughter that escaped his throat as everyone started bickering again while they tried to get a hold of Satan.
It had indeed been a birthday he would never forget.
