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There can only be one

Summary:

Two universes were one Dazai is in the ADA while the other one is in the Port Mafia. Loving both of them for there different qualities, weaknesses and more. Which Dazai would you have chose if you were Atsushi Nakajima?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter Text

I always thought of Dazai-San as a coworker, mentor, and a savior. But lately it’s changed for me every time I look at him I just get a fuzzy feeling in my chest. Any slight of touch makes me want more. Or his voice
sounding so elegant and his handsome features.

“Hey, Atsushi-Kun I know I’m cute and everything but please stop staring at me.” I blush vigorously as I’ve realized I have been staring at him for a long time now. “S-sorry Dazai-San I was just thinking and it just happened to be where you were.”

Anyone could tell that was a lie even I could but I couldn’t go back on it now. He looked at me suspiciously and smirked with a shrug “If you say so.” He went back to listening to music and sleeping. As I went back to work trying not to let my embarrassment get the best of me.

The day goes by in a flash and I’m tired from all the reports I had to tell Kunikida-san that I’m taking a day off tomorrow. Walking home with Kyouka I just thought of tomorrow as the day I was going to tell Dazai-San I like him. Also that day was the day I first met him and he changed my life. “Atsushi-kun, why are you so happy?”

I smile at Kyouka-Chan, feeling blush coming on my face as I say “I’m just thinking about someone.” I looked at her with my innocent smile but all I got was a devilish smirk. “Oh! So you're going to confess to Dazai-San then.”

I felt confusion and embarrassment all over my face. “How did you know?” She sighed like I was stupid or something “It’s obvious with they way act or look at him.” I sighed in defeat as I realized that if Kyouka-Chan knew then everyone else surely did. “So how are you going to tell him?”

I sighed in exasperation , still not knowing how I wanted to tell Dazai-San that I like. But all I knew is that I’m going to tell him tomorrow and what I was going to say was probably why I like him.”It’s okay if you don’t know Atsushi-kun but you should really tell him.”

I smiled at her to tell her ‘l understand’ we finally made it to the apartment and I opened the door to our apartment and took off my shoes. “Kyouka-Chan, go take a bath, I'll start dinner.” She nodded her head and headed off to the shower I look in the fridge for anything I could make and luckily I had all the ingredients to curry.

I start cooking only to think about Dazai-San and how I should do it. Well for starters I do know that I want or need to do it tomorrow. But all I need to do now is find out what to give him. “Is food ready?” I turn around to see Kyouka-Chan in her star consolation pajamas. “Yes.”

After eating I grab our dirty plates and put them in the sink. I tucked Kyouka-Chan in telling her goodnight as I walked to the kitchen to clean everything. As I finish cleaning I look for any tiny dessert to eat before bed. I found some chocolate in the freezer and that’s when it hit me.

Dazai-San always talked about how much he loved chocolate so why don’t give him some, give flowers and tell him at the spot where we first met. I get ready for bed and all I can think about is how Dazai-san would love it or not. I mean all I can think is hopeful about the whole thing even though a tiny bit of me is scared he’ll reject me. I finished putting on my pajamas. I go to bed trying to wash away those thoughts.

Leave me feeling really happy. I mean I get to tell Dazai-san that I love him. Isn’t that the greatest thing ever? I finally see the market store and I grab a buggy, my pen, and my notebook out ready for my task. I walk through the store grabbing the things I need then head home to see Kyouka-chan wrote me a note.

 

Dear Atsushi,

I know you got this and don't forget to tell Dazai-san where you want to meet!

 

I smile and frantically look for my phone and call Dazai-san. “Hello Atsushi-kun, I heard you took the day off, why?” “Ummm, that's not important. What I wanted to ask was do you want to meet by the tea house?” “The one by the river?” “Yes!” “Sure why not, what time?” “Seven pm.”
“Okay, bye.” I feel my face heat up as I think more and more about today, I start making my chocolate. After burning, messing up the ratio, and burning/ cutting my fingers in the process, luckily the tiger healed me.

I finally had it perfected and put it in the fridge then to remind myself in a bag for later. I look at the time to see it's 6:00 and I start getting ready. I clean everything up in the kitchen, and go take a shower. I got out and put on a blue sweater that slightly showed my shoulder feeling a bit daring today, and skinny black jeans.

I walk there feeling my body heavy from this big great night. I walked over the bridge looking at the moon as it made me feel come somehow probably because Byako reacted to my feelings very greatly. Or if I get rejected I know that she was there for me.

I open the door to the Chazuke shop and step inside. The waiter suggested that I sit at a small two table “Are you the only person?” I smile nervously just thinking about him “Yeah they are!” I feel so excited that I just had to say it kind of loud for everyone one to know. The woman smiled and nodded her head and left.

It’s been twenty minutes and he hasn’t come, I sighed. What if he doesn’t want to come or he just ditched me, I look over to see the waitress look at me with concern. I smile hopefully that she didn’t see the sadness in my eyes. I wait for another twenty and nothing, “Would you like anything on the house?”

I nodded my head and she left. I sat there just feeling my body go limp as the perfect day for me was ruined. I mean why was I so happy? I’m ugly, worthless, and somebody in the world that's wasting the world's air as if I should die.

I get my chazuke and thanked the girl for the food and left. I start crying as I eat , not caring if anyone watched me cry pitifully in my food. I ate all that I could and left the chocolate behind for the nice waitress.

I started heading back home, and all I could hear were the sounds of Yokohama laughing at me as I basically got rejected. I look down at my feet and watch the ground go past me. I see a bunch of feet on the ground and I look to see a long line for this fancy restaurant.

The restaurant called Aria, I look up at the windows to see the light practically blinding me yet look like twinkling stars. I see the beautiful couples and friends laugh and enjoy life. Until I saw a mop of curly brown hair, the man had bandages and a very nice suit.

Kissing a red hair guy, blue ocean eyes, and love in the air. I don’t want to say his name but could it possibly be Dazai Osamu, the man I love with someone else. I want to just know you as a man who just wears bandages, moppy brown hair, and love in those eyes for the red haired man.

I feel my chest heat up, my mind blurs, my body feeling weak, and my eyes blurry. Thoughts rushing over me again and again as hot streams of tears come down. I could feel the stairs of concern from other people. But didn’t have the courage to say anything. I cry as I look at him looking at that man with sooo much love.

I envy the red hair and for a second I hated him but not enough to act. I ran away somewhere knowing that it was unhealthy for me to watch them until I cried it all out. I ran until I stopped feeling tired, why did he not look at me that way? Why? Why?

I drop to the floor as my body didn’t want to stand. As jealousy, envy, rage consumed me. I smell something sweet almost like tulips. I wipe my eyes only to find myself in a field of white tulips all around, I lay just wanting to feel numb and relax.

As I relax I feel my body go limp, my eyes getting heavy and my thoughts no longer there. “Night Atsushi-kun, I hope you like your new place.” Finally I’m asleep.