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It’s a tough world out there. A person who has nothing should know how to fight— and Spamton was no exception. Especially now, when he somehow managed to get in trouble with the local Darkners… again. Hey, it wasn’t his fault he struck a nerve while he was trying to strike up a deal!
…GOD DAMMIT.
Spamton really wished he was out there, doing business with some other poor sap; instead, he was standing face to face with someone who wanted to, for the lack of terms, kick his [@#$].
Being the suave businessman that he was, Spamton had planned on jumping the first person who turned the corner to make a deal with them. He was SURE that he had this in the bag. But of course, he had to end up with the short end of the stick— he usually did, nowadays. It had to be a Werewire, too; Spamton hated Werewires. Those things will electrocute you like nobody’s business. Even worse, they were mindless beings that constantly looked like they were sleepwalking through life. Then again, when you’re being yanked around by a plug on your face, that’s probably a good thing. The other scenario– being tugged around against your will AND being conscious about it? Now that's a really [$%#!!#] up situation, right there.
The salesman didn’t know what he was thinking in the first place— what WAS he thinking, trying to make a deal with a Werewire? They couldn’t even think for themselves!
“I MUST BE [#&@$] [Desperate]. OR SLEEP DEPRIVED. OR [Desperate]. WAIT, I SAID THAT ALREADY,” Spamton muttered under his breath. And damn it all to hell, he WAS sleep deprived. AND desperate.
And so, the two Darkners stood face to face in an alleyway. Spamton would usually run off once his client showed signs of physical aggression, but his usual exit was blocked by a bunch of traffic cones. The salesman cursed internally at whoever put them there. Now he was left to deal with the consequences of his actions.
Spamton raised his hands, feeling sweat beading down his forehead. “HEY, [V4lued Custom3r]!! YOU DON’T HAVE TO [FIGHT] ME, YOU KNOW! I HAVE THE [Good Graces] TO KNOW WHEN I’M [Unwanted]!”
The Werewire shuffled angrily, buzzing noises emanating off them. Their hands swung wildly as they approached the salesman. Spamton backed away slowly. He really screwed this one up, didn’t he? Jeeze, these bastards were tall, too. Before he knew it, Spamton was grabbed by his shirt and lifted up.
“EAHAEHAHA! YOU HAVE SOME STRENGTH, THERE, [Buddy]! I KNOW YOU REALLY, [Really] WANT TO [Sock] ME IN THE FACE RIGHT NOW, BUT I ASK THAT YOU [Do Not] DO SO!! PLEASE DO NOT [Kill Me] AND I’LL GIVE YOU A [Great-”
Before he could finish the sentence, the Darkner slammed the salesman straight into a wall. Their buzzing and hisses seemed to grow louder every time he spoke. Well, that was fair enough, but now he was winded. How was he going to get out of this one? Spamton quickly flipped through his options. None of them were particularly good. Or dignified. But hey, a poor, desperate man (like him) didn’t get to have options.
“ACK… MERCY! [Mercy]! I’LL GIVE YOU A [Great Opportunity That You Can’t Miss]! HOW ABOUT I REMOVE THAT [Plug] ON YOUR FACE, AND YOU RELEASE ME?” The Werewire loosens their grip, and Spamton almost lets out a sigh of relief. “ONCE YOU [Let Me Go], WE CAN MAKE ANOTHER DEAL-” The instant the Werewire heard the word ‘deal’, they tightened their grip again and swung Spamton to the ground, all while still holding him by the collar.
He barely had any time to process it. Spamton heard the shattering of glass and a rather disturbing cracking noise that he was sure came from his head. Then, the searing pain flooded in all at once. GOD, THAT REALLY [%!&^] HURT. A pain that would hurt even more once the adrenaline wore off, he was sure. HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE ANY MORE DEALS IF MY HEAD IS CRACKED OPEN?! He had a hard enough time as it was!
Spamton, in his wild daze, came to a grave realization: he was getting beaten up in this alleyway– with no deals to show for it! If his potential customer was going to beat him up, they should at least give him some Kromer for it! Did no one here have an ounce of generosity?!
In truth, Spamton was starting to lose his grip on reality… even more so than usual. The world was spinning like a top, and he could barely see anything through his cracked lenses.
“...LET ME GO AND I… [Leave You] ALONE? ...PLEASE [[Make It Stop]]?? [[Help Me]]. HOLY [Cungadero] I’M [Losing My Mind] AND ALSO [Losing My Head]!!”
His attempts for mercy seemed to have gone unheard. The Werewire swung their arms to the side. Spamton felt the right side of his face start to crack and fragment– he must’ve hit a corner or something. Falling limp from the pain, he felt everything start to black out. Maybe he’d even die here; wouldn’t that be something?
No, wait.
He couldn’t up and leave just yet! Spamton gritted his teeth, feeling a relentless pounding in his head that had nothing to do with his injuries. He was so close to having it all… to becoming so big that he’d finally be free from all this loneliness and darkness. He was so close to the HEAVENS… to getting [Hyperlink Blocked]. To getting EVERYTHING!! He had to crawl through hell to get to this point, and he’d be damned if he ended up lying broken or dead in this alleyway.
HAHA… IF I CAN STILL THINK THAT, I STILL HAVE SOME LIFE LEFT IN ME.
The Werewire shook him violently, causing any coherent thought to slip away. “[%!^@%]!” Spamton spat out in pain. Whoops. He didn’t mean to let that one slip. It wasn’t a big shot salesman move to start cussing in front of your potential customers! … Well, no, that was a bald faced lie. Spamton used expletives all the time– not that he always meant to do it. But who cared about the specifics at this point? Spamton’s eyes flashed angrily as he glowered at the Werewire, his body shaking with a sudden bout of pure adrenaline. “DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?! LET GO, YOU-”
#$@$ IT. He’d had enough. In a haze of desperate rage, Spamton lunged forward and bit the Werewire’s hand. He felt electricity course through his body as he did so; it was a good thing he wasn’t made of flesh and bones. They screeched angrily, letting go of Spamton’s collar.
The Werewire backed away, clutching their arm, but they were still blocking the path out. Spamton scowled. HE was the one who was supposed to block the entrance, NOT his potential customers! His mind was numb, but the overwhelming, bitter feeling of fury he felt was sharper.
“[You]... YOU’VE GOT SOME [Nerve], PAL! I’M NO [99 Cent] PUNCHING BAG, YOU KNOW! I TOLD YOU [It’s Your Lucky Day]! I GAVE YOU [Amazing Deals] AND OFFERS, AND NOW YOU’RE REPAYING ME BY NOT ONLY TRYING TO [Kill Me], BUT ALSO BLOCKING MY EXIT!?!?!”
Spamton felt an intense headache going on; most definitely because half his head was shattered. Spamton clutched the right side of his face in pain, trying to ignore the excruciating burning sensation in his joints. This was bad. He didn’t even know if he could make it back to the dumpster at this rate.
The Werewire gave a wild screech, causing Spamton to go on high alert. They flung their massive arms forward, sending sparks of electric balls flying towards him. Spamton somehow managed to get out of the way. At least there were some pros of being short, he mused.
It was his turn now. “YOU’RE [In Luck], FRIEND!” The salesman couldn’t keep the venom out of his voice as he spat the word ‘friend’ with a scathing sarcasm. “I’LL LET YOU [Pay] YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE. I NEED A [Generous] SUM OF KROMER TO PAY FOR MY MEDICAL BILLS, BECAUSE I [Don’t Have Insurance]!!” Spamton let out a crazed laugh as he cracked open his jaw. “[TRANSMIT KROMER]”
In an instant, Kromer started flying towards him like a magnet. The Werewire hissed as they were nailed by the attacks, turning around in order to swat them away. Seizing the opportunity, Spamton took this chance to book it. He sprinted off, and didn’t look back.
Spamton could feel the Werewire pursuing him, incomprehensible crackling filling the air. The Darkner was surprisingly fast— then again, they didn’t have to deal with the physics of running. And his legs being short didn’t exactly make it easy to escape. The salesman was surprised he could even keep his footing; the world was revolving like a roulette, and he was stumbling around half blind. Luckily, he knew the place like the back of his hand. He let his instincts take over as he bolted through the streets.
Spamton didn’t know how long he was running for. He felt his suit getting caught multiple times as he collided with various objects, ripping tears into the fabric. Spamton turned the corner, scrambling like a madman, head flicking around to find anywhere to hide. It was then that Spamton spotted his favorite customer. Kris was strolling around, looking like they didn’t have a care in the world. OH, IT’S A MIRACLE! I’VE BEEN SAVED!
-----
Kris was having the time of their life strolling around, taking in the sights. Coming from a small town, they never got the chance to see such bright lights, such tall buildings. It was different. Refreshing. They were just about to make a turn when they heard a vague noise. It was hard to hear, given the harsh and unpredictable sounds of the city.
Standing still, they looked around, trying to figure out what exactly they were hearing. They didn’t have to move to find out, as the noise was rapidly approaching from behind them. It was shouting. Shouting their name, to be precise. Kris blinked. They knew that voice all too well.
“KRIS!! KRIS!!” It was Spamton, making a beeline towards them. They turned around as he skidded to a halt in front of them. He doubled over, gasping for air, a hand clutching half his face. He looked absolutely terrible, Kris noted, and that was saying something. The salesman’s hair was sticking all over the place, his coat had ragged tears in it, his glasses were shattered and twisted, everything smelled slightly burnt, and his face…
They furrowed their eyebrows in concern. “Are you okay? You’re hurt.”
Spamton moved to stand beside Kris, holding the side of his face like a lifeline. His hand was hiding most of it, but they could see massive cracks; pieces of it started to fall to the ground, revealing a metallic interior. Kris could see Spamton’s one good eye peering up at them.
“KRIS!! KRIS QUICK!!! MY POTENTIAL CUSTOMER IS IN [Hot Pursuit]!”
Kris felt themselves tense up, and instinctively drew their weapon as they peered at the direction where the salesman came from. Was he really being chased? It seemed rather quiet. “Your customer...? Why?”
Spamton, despite trembling in pain and adrenaline, shrugged his shoulders. His desperate look morphed into a wicked smile. “OH, YOU KNOW. [Business As Usual].”
Kris tossed their head back in frustration, somehow refraining from sighing. “...You mean you tried to scam them.”
The salesman glanced at Kris. There was no shame on his face, but at least he had the good grace to look offended before he answered. “WOW. WOW, KRIS. YOU’RE YANKING MY [Silly Strings]!! MUST YOU ASSUME THAT I’M [Trying To Scam] EVERY CUSTOMER??!”
Kris gave him a pointed look of irritation, and Spamton broke into a wild laugh. “WELL, YOU'RE [!@#!] RIGHT!!! I ALMOST HAD EM’, TOO!! BUT NO, THEY [Offer Declined] BEAT ME UP! I DIDN’T EVEN GET A SINGLE, MEASLY CENT FROM IT, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?”
Kris was about to say something when they heard a loud buzz emerging from the corner. The Werewire hovered towards them, pulled by a large wire and hissing with agitation. Kris blinked at the Darkner, holding their sword tighter and taking a small step forward. They weren't sure if Spamton could still fight. They glanced over at the salesman with worry. He seemed to have noticed, for he met their eyes through shattered lenses.
“...Spamton, can you still fight?” Kris asked, and Spamton gave them a crooked grin, lifting his hand from his face. He was worse than they thought, and their concern immediately shifted to full on alarm. Now that Kris could see his injuries, it was rather gruesome. A whole side of his face was falling apart. What wasn’t completely shattered had spider cracks running through it, and his right eye was barely hanging on. They could see the interior of his head and the framing around it. Kris was surprised the salesman was still conscious with that injury. “...How are you even standing?”
“WHAT KIND OF QUESTION—I’VE BEEN RUNNING [[Away From Hell]]. IF YOU RUN FAST ENOUGH, THE [[Immense Suffering]] AND [[Pain]] CAN’T CATCH UP TO YOU!!” Another maniacal cackle. “I FEEL [Great]!!”
“...You should rest up. Let me handle this.”
Spamton’s good eye was trained on them, silent for a moment. Then he shook his head wildly, slightly glitching out as he gave another laugh. “KRIS!! THAT OFFER IS ALMOST [Too Damn Good] TO RESIST!!! BUT I CAN’T [Rest] YET!! [There’s Always Room For] MORE [Ad Sales] AND BUSINESS!” The salesman had a glint in his eye that told Kris he was hungry to make more deals, despite his broken state. Frankly, they were impressed by his tenacity. “I’LL REST ONCE I BECOME A [[Big Shot]] OR [[Die]]!! LET ME JOIN YOU!! AFTER ALL, [2] HEADS ARE [Better Than One]! THIS IS [More of a Demand] THAN A [Request]!!”
They didn’t think it was a good idea, but it was too late to argue. “Okay, you can join. But stick behind me… I have a plan.” Kris felt their SOUL flicker as the battle began. They pointed at the Werewire’s plug. “We’re going to loosen that wire.”
“WHAT?!?! LOOSEN THE WIRE??? SO YOU MEAN WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE [Once in a Lifetime] DEALS WITH THEM?! I’VE GOT IT ALL, YOU KNOW! [Deal Insurance], FREE KROMER IN EXCHANGE FOR [Account Details] AND THE [Number on the Back], W1LD PR1ZES, AND MORE!”
“No.” Kris somehow managed to keep a straight face. Good thing they were already expecting hijinks from the salesman. “Didn’t you try to sell that to them already?”
“YOU'RE [Killing] ME, KRIS!! YOU KNOW ME TOO WELL!” Spamton's amused grin grew even wider as Kris swiveled their head to look at him, his shattered glasses flashing. “HEY, [No Need] TO GLARE! I’VE HAD [Way Too Much] OF THAT TODAY! ALRIGHT, I’LL [Indulge] IN YOUR [Peace Plans]!! BUT I’M CALLING [Dibs] ON ALL THE KROMER WE GET FROM [Winning]!!”
While the salesman was talking, the Werewire approached closer, shooting electric bullets towards the two. With Spamton behind them, Kris summoned their shield, defending from the attack. Kris gritted their teeth as they tanked the hit, feeling bits of their HP chip away. Once the barrage ended, they charged forward, leaping onto the Werewire like it was second nature to them.
The Werewire levitated higher to the sky, teetering back and forth, trying to get the offender off. With one hand holding on, Kris used their other hand to reach and jiggle the wire, feeling it loosen a bit. With a sudden unexpected jolt from the Werewire, Kris slipped off; they felt themself falling. They looked down and stiffened. Were they really this high up? Tensing, Kris braced themselves to hit the floor– but they never did. Miniature copies of Spamton swarmed around them, chattering about sales and deals as they softened their fall. Kris totally forgot that he could do that. They got up to their feet and the copies disappeared.
“HOLY [Cungadero]!! YOU’RE [Off Your Rocker], KRIS!” Spamton shouted from a distance, but he sounded impressed. Kris gave a nod back in appreciation. They couldn’t breathe just yet. Not a second later, the Werewire buzzed with intensity, generating electric orbs. They held the orbs in the air for a brief moment before firing them in all directions.
“AH, [#%^*].” Spamton threw himself behind a barrel. Kris ducked and weaved, managing to dodge another onslaught of attacks. The hair behind their neck rose as they felt high concentrations of energy narrowly miss them. Returning to the offensive, Kris charged forward– but the Werewire must’ve seen it coming, as it rose too high for their reach. In the corner of their eye, they could see Spamton scrambling up a scaffolding. When did he get there? Spamton motioned towards himself and then pointed at the wire. Kris nodded.
Kris distracted the Werewire, waving their arms, making it seem like they were trying to reach them. A whirring emanated from the Darkner as it sent out another array of electric orbs towards Kris. They barely managed to roll away from the offending attacks. Spamton, stepping at the top of the scaffolding, hurdled himself onto the Werewire, grabbing onto their wire. With a firm shake, the plug came loose. The Werewire immediately flashed, and in an instant, they returned back into a Plugboy.
“OH MY GOD!!!” Spamton shouted as both of them fell. Kris ran forward, but they didn’t manage to catch them. Instead, both Darkners fell on top of them as the three collapsed into a gigantic heap on the ground. Luckily for Kris, they weren’t heavy enough to crush them.
“NICE... CATCH… KRIS.” Spamton rolled off of them as he laid on the ground, clutching the side of his head again. All three of them groaned as they tried to regain bearings of their surroundings.
“...Hnng… what happened?” The Plugboy rubbed their head.
Spamton’s face shifted to menacing as he pushed himself up, shooting the Darkner a venomous glare. Kris expected him to throttle the Plugboy, but he just sat there with a look of complete outrage. “YOU ALMOST [KILLED] ME, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED!!!”
“Oh my god… I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t know what was going on, honest!”
“WHERE’S YOUR [Goddamn] KROMER?! I NEED… UGH… F-FORGET IT...” Spamton hissed. The salesman looked like he had much, much more to say, but instead tilted his head tilted back in agony as he continued to hold onto the broken side of his head.
The Plugboy sat there in worry, not knowing if they should do anything. Kris waved a hand, motioning for them to get out of here. “I’ll take care of this.” With the gesture, the Plugboy seemed to have snapped out of it, for they reached into their pockets and took out a CD Bagel, holding it imploringly out to Kris.
“S-sorry, it’s the only thing I’ve got,” They whispered. “Please give it to him. I’m so sorry...” Kris nodded, taking the Bagel. As the Darkner got up to leave, they kept looking back, seemingly in complete distress. Kris would have to talk to them later, when they could find the time. There were much more pressing matters now. Kris got up and moved to the salesman’s side.
“Are you alright?” Kris said, much more loudly than they intended to. They kneeled down next to Spamton, who gave a sardonic grin in response.
“EAHAEHAEH!! MY HEAD F-FEELS LIKE IT'S SPINNING-G-G LIKE A [@!#!?#*] [Swing Carousel]!!” Spamton gave a laugh, his mouth cracked wide open in humor. “I FEEL LIKE [$!#*]!” The salesman’s smile quickly switched to a grimace, letting his hands fall to the ground as he looked down at himself. He fell to an eerie silence.
Kris furrowed their eyebrows. When Spamton became this muted, things were usually very wrong. But once he looked back up, the salesman returned back to his wide default grin. He must’ve seen something in Kris’s eyes, for he outstretched his hands in an almost desperate manner. They were shaky, and Kris didn’t think it was from his usual excitement or crazed insanity; the man looked absolutely exhausted.
“HEY... WHY ARE Y-YOU [[Stop Staring]] STARING AT ME LIKE THAT??? ARE YOU... [WORRIED] ABOUT ME??” Kris nodded and looked down, rummaging through their inventory as Spamton rambled on, his voice delirious and ragged, slowly losing its regular intensity. “HAHA… Y-YOU SAP… C-C’MON, KRIS... I’M A [Tough Customer]! ...I’M STILL [Properly Functional], AREN’T I...?”
They pulled out tea from their inventory as Spamton leaned on them, struggling with consciousness. His glasses filled with the rush of static, and they could feel his body trembling with strain. His hand latched clumsily onto their shoulder plate.
“IT’S… REALLY DARK. I…” The salesman whispered, before his words become mumblings that Kris couldn’t hear. He looked like he could faint at any moment. They took an arm to support his back, took the tea and tilted it into his mouth.
“S...Stop.” Spamton muttered after a while, turning his face away. Kris froze; they wondered if he was suffering from a bout of delusion. He didn't seem to be addressing them. “STOP HELPING ME. D...DON’T HELP ME IF YOU’RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE. I… I CAN’T. I CAN’T HANDLE IT AGAIN, PLEASE…”
Kris felt their chest ache with sadness. They wondered if he was relieving a dark moment in his life. Being abandoned, left behind— Kris knew that feeling all too well. They closed their eyes, taking in a deep breath. There they were, two people that shouldn’t even have the right to exist as they do now. Two puppets on strings. Maybe this was the only way that they could exist. But still, if they could do something, anything, within their small amount of power… well, they sure as hell will try. They were filled with the power of defiance.
“No, I won’t leave,” Kris reassured him. They tilted more tea into his mouth. Slowly, almost agonizingly, Kris managed to get Spamton to finish the tea; it was hard for them to feed him when his mouth could barely open. Spamton’s trembles started to become less and less noticeable, which they thought was a good thing.
Kris shifted their arm, trying to hold onto the salesman more gently. After he finished the tea, they noticed that Spamton’s grip was becoming stronger, though his head still looked incredibly damaged. They should really wrap it up with something. Kris reached into their inventory once more, searching for bandages.
“UGH… MY HEAD. EVERYTHING HURTS. I COMPLETELY [Blanked Out] BACK THERE. WHAT DID I MISS…?” Spamton’s eyes regained their focus, his voice getting less faint. He shifted his weight. Kris, making sure that the salesman could support himself, relaxed their arm. They handed the CD Bagel over to him. Spamton looked at it for a long while, a vacant look on his face, as if he didn't know what it was.
“WHAT’S THIS?”
“A CD Bagel.”
“NO… WHY? THIS-- THIS [Genorisity]??”
“It’s from the Plugboy.”
“TCH.” Immediately, Spamton’s expression flickered with irritation. “I WOULD’VE PREFERRED SOME KROMER TO THIS. OR SOME [Premium] [Healthcare Treatment]. DID YOU TELL THEM THAT?!?! THAT I WOULD PREFER KROMER OR [Healthcare] TO THIS CD BAGEL!?”
“I… don’t think they had any ‘Kromer’ on them.”
“WHAT…!” Spamton threw his arms up in absolute distress. “NO [Wacky Stacks]...!?!? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME…! ALL THAT WORK, AND I’M STILL MANAGING TO [Lose] KROMER!!”
“Speaking of healthcare…” Kris, holding the bandages, leaned towards the salesman. “Hold still. Let me wrap your head up.”
Spamton froze, giving the bandages a hard, suspicious glance. Kris blinked slowly, holding it out. Judging by the nervous flash in his eye, the salesman looked like he was a step away from doing something extreme. His jaw was set in a tense manner. After a while, the salesman spoke, uncertainly. “THIS IS… [Free] [Premium Healthcare], RIGHT???”
Kris couldn’t help but smile. “...More like second-rate healthcare. But yes, it’s free.” The salesman looked like he was still mulling it over, but allowed Kris to approach with the bandages. They weren’t exactly an expert with handling these things, but they did their best to wrap it around the wound. Thinking back to how Mom would’ve handled their injuries, they carefully wrapped the bandages around Spamton’s right eye and covered the cracks on his face. Finally, they pulled away, examining their work. It was incredibly uneven, but it did the job. They thought it looked terrible.
At least Spamton seemed pleased enough. He reached a hand to tentatively touch the bandages. “HEY, NOT BAD AT ALL! THANKS, KRIS, YOU [Little Sponge]. I OWE YOU ONE, HUH?”
“No.” Kris waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, it was free.”
Spamton gave a chuckle, which turned into a wince as he hauled himself to his feet. Kris kept their arms out cautiously in case he fell over. Spamton stumbled a bit, and they held out an arm to grab him. Holding their arm, Spamton managed to recover, awkwardly patting their back afterwards. “I… SHOULD GO," Spamton muttered, his voice weary and subdued. "I’VE GOT A LOT OF [Work] TO DO.”
Kris looked him over. Seeing his extensive injuries, they felt uncertain leaving the salesman to his own devices. “Are you going to go back to the shop?”
“AH…” Spamton tilted his head, his good eye darting to the side. It took a while for him to respond— Kris could almost see the thoughts running through the salesman’s mind. “...PROBABLY BACK TO THE [Dumpster],” Spamton admitted. “I GOT TO FIND MATERIALS. TO [Repair] ALL THIS STUFF. LIKE SEW THESE SUIT HOLES TOGETHER.”
Kris blinked. They couldn’t imagine the image of Spamton holding a needle and thread. “...You do repairs?”
“Y-YOU’RE [Doubting] MY SKILLS, KRIS?!?!”
Taken by surprise, Kris raised their hands as they caught a gleam in Spamton’s eye. “S-sorry…”
Spamton threw his head backwards as he laughed, as if he expected this to happen. Kris felt strangely reassured by the saleman's laugh; he seemed like he was returning back to his old self, for better or for worse. “EAHAHAHA! WELL, KRIS, I AM A SALESMAN FIRST. IT’S WHAT I WAS MADE TO DO, AND I FEEL [[Extreme Pain and Suffering]] FROM IT EVERY DAY!!” His laughing stopped as he returned to look at Kris, mouth quirked in amusement. “...BUT YES. I KNOW A LITTLE FROM [Free Tutorials and Courses] [For Dummies]! LIVING IN THE DUMPSTER FOR SO LONG HAS ITS PERKS, [[Says No One Ever]]. YOU HAVE TO BE A RESOURCEFUL [Little Slime] IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE AND NO ONE WANTS TO GODDAMN HELP YOU!!”
Kris nodded. Made sense. “I want to help. Let me go with you.”
Shock was written all over the salesman’s face as his jaw dropped. “WHAT!?! HELP ME?? [What]?? [Y]???”
“What did you say earlier…?” Kris shrugged, giving a mischievous smile as they recalled Spamton's words. “Two heads are better than one?”
Spamton fell into silence again. He seemed to be doing that a lot more often, Kris thought. They wondered if he was analyzing their intentions, his eye unusually sharp as he stared into them. They knew that Spamton was probably very uncomfortable with accepting help. Still, they stood tall, and Spamton must’ve picked up something from their earnest look, because the intensity vanished as the salesman broke into a large grin. “WHAT, YOU WANT TO GO [Dumpster Diving] WITH ME?? YOU’RE [Offering] YOUR [Free Labor] AND [Time]??”
“Hell yeah, I love trash.” Kris flashed a thumbs up.
Spamton broke into a manic, giggling mess. “WOW, [You]- YOU’RE REALLY SOMETHING!! [Offer Accepted], KRIS! IF YOU WANT TO OFFER UP YOUR [Free Services] TO ME, WHO AM I TO REFUSE?!”
-----
The two started their journey towards the dumpster. Spamton looked down, trying to hide the genuine smile on his face. It was time to rebuild what he had lost today. One step at a time.