Chapter Text
Chapter 14: Pinky Promise
Rita barely left her room for days. The place had been a mess when Laura had left, and it still remained a mess.
Larry came to bring her food, from time to time, but it was always left untouched, which was the most alarming thing, especially for her. Victor had tried to talk to her, at first, but she was deaf to everything he said; Cliff had tried his own way - jokes, at first, then with frustrated threats of breaking the door down, and then vexation, feeling offended because he was unsuccessful; and finally Jane, or Hammered, or the Secretary, or Karen, or Kay even, all had come at least once to yell at her, or bang on her door, or trying to talk some sense into her, or whine because she had no girlfriend to watch cheesy nineties shows on tv, or even beg her to come to play because it was a beautiful day outside.
Rita clamped her hands over her ears each time, rolled over in bed, and continued to sob in silence. She didn’t even care if she was melting inside her bed, her body trying to imitate the shapeless liquid form of her tears, or if she was losing control over herself, because Laura was gone and there was nothing and nobody that could keep her in one piece, literally. Besides, there was even a reason not to let go?
She’d spent so many years locked away, fleeting of any kind of sentiment that went beyond friendship, but Laura de Mille had literally fallen upon them and stolen her breath - and something else too. Was she condemned to be left alone for the rest of her useless life? What was the purpose, then, to be a hero or live another day if she couldn’t share her accomplishments or little joys and sorrows with anyone?
Denial had been long gone. She’d spent the first days believing she would be back by sunset; but it quickly turned into another sunset and Laura was nowhere to be found, still.
Anger lasted shortly because for as much as she’d tried to hate Laura for leaving, her heart ached and she simply couldn’t do it.
Bargaining with herself didn’t work, because she was clueless and couldn’t think about anything that could’ve justified her behavior. Sure, she might've gone off to fight the Sisterhood of Dada, but why alone when she’d spend days trying to convince them to join her? Did she leave them defenseless to fend for themselves while she tried to save her own butt? Plausible, according to the others, but simply unacceptable for Rita: it had to be something else.
Depression? She was well deep down that stage of grief and Rita wasn’t convinced she’d ever reach the acceptance she so desperately needed. Hugging the small blanket she knitted for her, she kept praying for another hour of dreamless sleep, even to forget for a while about everything and get lost in nothing.
It was midmorning when Rita blinked her eyes open and groaned at the vexing tap, tap, tap, that echoed in the silence of her room.
It took her a while to realize it was coming from the window and she froze when her blurred sight brought into focus the vibrant black and the pure white of the magpie perched outside the window sill.
The bird regarded her for a while with its small but expressive eyes before tapping its beak against the glass once again, gently, fogging it up momentarily with its breathing. It cocked its head and flapped its wings, clearly begging to be let in.
Rita felt herself spiraling back to the anger stage and, for a second, she contemplated leaving Laura outside to freeze, roll over in her bed and forget about her, only as a payback… but she’d missed Laura too much to act superior.
Trying to look aloof, she stretched her arm enough to unlock the window and when it opened, she retracted it immediately, curling upon herself and offering her back to Laura, in whatever form she was in right now. Just in case she was still a magpie, though, Rita unfastened her fingers from the small blanket and pushed it on the empty side of the bed, without even looking.
«I’m sorry.»
Laura was in her human form then.
Rita didn’t move. She didn’t move even when she felt the mattress dipping beside her. She only stiffened when she felt hesitant fingers touching the tips of her hair, which must’ve looked like a mess since she hadn’t brushed it in days, and then work enough courage to slid inside her locks, pulling out a small sigh from her.
The redhead wanted to hate her. She really wanted to have enough strength to push her away and told her to get lost, just to show Laura how much she’d hurt her, but how could she, when her presence felt so good? How could she, when having her fingers scraping hesitantly at her scalp made her tremble? How could she, when the mere thought of having her near again, finally, made her crave her body and the pleasure that could give?
She drew in a sharp breath and rubbed her face into the pillow to get rid of any trace of tears - which she knew was impossible since her eyes always looked red and puffy - and then slowly turned around.
Laura smiled down at her, her fingers still entangled in her hair, and Rita knew she was screwed.
«Where have you been?» She rasped, pulling herself into a sitting position. She ducked her head, not yet ready to look into the brunette’s eyes, but reached out for her free hand, unable to stop herself from craving even the slightest of contacts. She sighed in relief when Laura not only granted her that but squeezed her hand in return, soothing the back of her hand with her thumb. «What happened? Did you- did you remember something?»
When Laura didn’t answer, Rita raised her gaze, only to find something unreadable in her expression. The cloud, however, hadn’t impaired her beauty, and Rita hurt for how much she’d missed her. It was almost scary.
«Rita, I need to fix things.» She confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. «I’m sorry I disappeared like that but- I can’t let them get close to you. It’s up to me to stop them, I know that now.»
The other woman shook her head vehemently, hiding behind her own hands. Laura had spent days trying to convince her and her friends to cooperate and defeat the Sisterhood of Dada because it was everyone’s problem and now… now she demanded to take the matter into her own hands.
«You want to fight them on your own? After everything we’ve been through together, you want to leave me behind?»
«You don’t understand.» Laura sighed. «It’s my responsibility.»
«Well, the machine is broken so you can’t go anywhere.» Rita spat. It didn’t feel good, but it was a white lie, after all. She’d lied when she’d stolen the throttle, to begin with, and she’d lied when she decided to keep it from her, but now things had changed… Now Rita was keeping the throttle because it was the only way to keep Laura safe. If she couldn’t use her machine, then she couldn’t go find Niles to get information and fight the Sisterhood of Dada on her own and possibly get killed in the process.
She was forcing her to stay, yes, and she’d hoped that, one day, upon revealing her secret, Laura would choose to stay. But that wouldn’t happen any time soon. So keeping the throttle was the only way. After all, what else was she supposed to do? Give Laura the one-way ticket to her death?
«Rita, I don’t need the machine.» Laura said, staring right into her eyes. «I didn’t make any mistakes: I’m precisely where and when I was supposed to be.»
The redhead could only do little to conceal the trembling in her chin. She yanked her hand away from Laura’s grasp and hit the duvet flat with her hand, not really knowing how to cope with the building frustration spearing like a fire in her body.
«You came back just to tell me you’re about to leave again? To fight those maniacs on your own? You came back to tell me this might be the last time I see you?!»
«And to give you this.»
Rita watched her fish something in the inside pocket of her jacket, and then she was presented with an envelope with her own name on it. It was similar to the one that Niles wrote to warn her about Laura’s arrival. Similar, yet completely different.
«What’s in this?» Rita sniffled, anger and curiosity battling inside of her with the need to know the truth that lay beneath those secrets. «Can I open it?»
She had already her nail hooked in the small gap to tear the paper open, but Laura stopped her, covering Rita’s hand with her own.
«Not yet.» She murmured, her eyes pleading. «You’ll know when the time comes.»
Rita let out the breath she didn’t know she was holding. Slowly, she nodded, sagging on herself as the realization hit her and her heart constricted.
«So you’re going.»
«There’s no other way I can put an end to this without risking your life.»
Laura’s hand cupped her face. She tried to pull her closer, maybe kiss her, but for as much as Rita had missed her, and those lips, she flinched, slapping her hand away.
«I don’t need protection. I can do it, we’ve been training for this. Or have you forgotten that? Have you forgotten how it started?»
«No, I didn’t forget.» Laura breathed out. «But things have changed. And I need to do this alone.»
«Laura, you can’t do this! You can’t come back only to say that and tell me that I should stay back and simply let you go!» Rita panted. She was fuming, rage and the deepest sense of discomfort fueling her. «I think I deserve at least an explanation!»
«Rita, please-» Laura was talking softly, despite everything. Risking another refusal, maybe even another slap, she reached out for her hand, keeping it between hers.
It seemed impossible, but her desperate attempt to soothe the redhead’s spirit worked, in the end, and Rita could control her breathing better.
«No. Please, you . You need to do the talking.»
«It’s complicated.» The brunette sighed, ducking her head to escape Rita’s inquiring gaze. «You wouldn’t understand.»
The other shrugged, doing an excellent job in hiding the insult that those words had concealed. Still, she knew Laura hadn’t meant it that way. Sighing, she reached out to cup Laura’s jaw and pushed her chin up.
«Try me.» She said, not daring, not challenging, just pleading. She needed to know what was going on, she needed to hear it from her lips, she needed her voice. She needed Laura, even if she was about to slip away.
«Those people, the Sisterhood… they used to be my friends.» Laura muttered.
Rita flinched back but didn’t move her fingers from the other woman’s chin. Now that was something she couldn’t have imagined: the people she was so afraid of, the enemy as she often called them, the danger that was chasing them, had been her friends, once. Was Laura escaping them when she traveled with her machine?
«Were you in the Sisterhood?»
«Once upon a time.» The brunette huffed, closing her eyes. In shame, probably, she shied away from Rita’s touch, and this time she allowed her, giving the woman some space. «But I- I betrayed them and because of me one of them got hurt-» Her breath caught and she sagged on herself as if under the weight of a rock. «-he got killed .» Laura rectified.
«Oh, Laura…» The urge to comfort her was overwhelming, but this time the brunette didn’t welcome it. Rita saw she was almost shaking - rage, guilt, discomfort, she could see them all, passing in a loop on her face. «I know why you’re doing this.»
Laura snorted.
«No, you don’t.»
«You’re not evil.» Rita asserted and, determined not to let the other push her away again, she cupped Laura’s face and looked straight into her eyes. «You’re not. And you don’t have to fight them on your own to punish yourself because you think you deserve the consequence of it.»
«I-» The brunette took a shaky breath and, even though trapped between her hold, she shook her head. «I need to confront them on my own because there’s no need to put any of you in danger. I won’t allow it. An, yes, because of my past and my betrayal, if I fail, I do deserve it.»
«I knew you had a reason.» Rita whispered, begging. «Tell me you had a reason.»
«Of course I had a reason! But-» Again, Laura closed her eyes, shied away from Rita, but she reached up and grabbed her wrists, letting her thumb dance on the back of her hand, in a soothing gesture that was meant for them both. «I had no other choice, but I betrayed them, it doesn’t change it. It’s me they want, there’s no need to take their wrath upon you or any of that fucked up couterie of yours.»
Rita couldn’t help but smile at that affirmation. Even in the most desperate situation, that woman always managed to make the sorrow go away, even for an instant. Was that the reason why she–
«Laura,» She swallowed, tilting her head to the side, «you’re part of that couterie too, now. And even if they would never admit it, they would help. Happily. It’s what we do, we support each other with eye rolls, but we still support each other. If it’s your battle, it’s ours too… you’re my family as much as they are and- more. You know that.»
«Rita, you know I’m not questioning that. Never that.»
«Then think about it.» The redhead said firmly. «We can do it together, as a team. We did it before. We can go to the Sisterhood, reason with them, and if that fails, we’ll defeat them.» She shrugged, widening her eyes for a moment because she only now realized she had no clue how to do that. «Somehow we always manage. Besides, we’ll have a better chance together.»
«I... I’ll think about it.» Laura breathed out, finally.
Rita stared at her. There was something in the way her eyes shone that didn’t convince her. Was it possible that Laura was simply saying the things she wanted to hear? Still, she didn’t say either yes or no but granted the redhead a possibility. It wasn’t much, but at least it erased some suspicions, given that it wasn’t what Laura wanted in the beginning. That woman wasn’t evil, nor scheming like all the villains, but she was smart and she could read Rita like a book.
«Swear it.» Rita murmured. «Promise me you won’t sneak out in the middle of the night and leave me alone.»
She raised her hand between them and lifted her pinky up, throwing a challenging look when Laura narrowed her eyes in a false-vexed expression. They held their gaze for a moment before Laura took the pinky with her own, giving Rita a little smirk.
Rita smiled, yelping slightly when the brunette used that leverage to pull the woman to her and press a light kiss on her salty lips.
«You won’t be alone.» She murmured against her mouth. «I can promise you that.»