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Guillermo was patient. After twelve years of serving as a familiar under his ungrateful superiors–twelve years in which Nandor never turned him, despite his many promises–it’d be absurd to say he was anything else.
He’d spent months dealing with his feelings for Nandor, waiting for them to fizzle out into nothing–but they’d instead only grown deeper, more prominent, until something slipped during a heated argument and the cat was out of the bag.
To this day, Guillermo still believes it was dumb luck that Nandor felt the same.
Nandor wanted to take things slowly, though, and because Guillermo was patient, he was alright with that.
But until recently, it hadn’t occurred to Guillermo that Nandor’s idea of “taking it slowly” would be so tedious. They’d been together for a month now, and they’d yet to kiss.
Time was different for vampires, Guillermo often reminded himself. A month for a human was like a day for a 700 year old immortal.
Guillermo, though, was nearing thirty and had never been kissed (unless you counted the girl who kissed him as a dare in middle school, but he sure as hell didn't). As patient as he may have been, Guillermo worried that their relationship wasn’t going anywhere.
So when Nandor rose from his coffin one evening, and Guillermo guided him down the carpeted staircase as per routine, it took him by surprise when Nandor stopped in his tracks and, unceremoniously, kissed him on the lips.
It took Guillermo a second to process what had happened. Once it hit him, his heart began pounding in his ribcage. Guillermo reached for Nandor’s shoulders and went to kiss him again–but Nandor stopped him before he could.
He gave Guillermo a pondering look. Then, he shook his head. "...No, that wasn't right."
Before Guillermo could ask what he meant, Nandor waved his hand in front of his face. "You will not remember the pathetic kiss I just gave you.”
’Pathetic?’ Maybe it was his lack of experience, but that was the last word he’d use to describe what Nandor had just done.
Nandor was staring at him. Guillermo remembered he’d just been “hypnotized” and straightened his posture. “Ha... ha. Uh, what just happened?” he said in fake-confusion.
Nandor gave him a satisfied smile. “Nothing at all, my dear. Don’t worry about it.”
Then, he flipped his hair and made his way toward the wardrobe to find his outfit for the night.
"My hair is a mess. Brush it for me, will you, my sweet Guillermo?" Then, he paused to add, "But not because you have to. I just think you do a very good job at it."
Guillermo cleared his throat. Pretending he hadn’t just been kissed by the world’s sexiest vampire wasn’t going to be easy. "Sure thing. I’ll, uh, go fetch your brush.”
Guillermo let out a hiss as Nandor poured alcohol directly onto his open wound. "I understand you’re trying to help, but that’s way too fucking much."
"Sepsis and tetanus are no laughing matter, Guillermo," Nandor scolded. "I've seen many powerful soldiers–strong like yourself, and some even stronger than both of us combined–meet an early death because they left a wound unclean. It is better to bear the pain now than to fall deathly ill later."
"Thanks, but again... The wounds aren’t that deep. Also, I'm up to date on my shots, so you can rule out tetanus,” Guillermo noted.
Nandor ignored him. Instead, he reached for the bandages and tenderly wrapped Guillermo’s knuckles. He pulled the bandages tight, causing Guillermo to wince.
"There you go. Sepsis will not be your downfall," Nandor said, still holding Guillermo's bandaged hand in his own. "I know that as a bodyguard, it is your duty to... guard my body from enemies. But next time, could you try not to get hurt so much? I cannot have a bodyguard who is severely injured. Otherwise, I end up having to protect his body myself... Which defeats the purpose, you know?"
"I'll keep that in mind," Guillermo scoffed.
Still holding Guillermo's hand in his own, Nandor slowly lifted the bandaged knuckles to his lips. Gazing into Guillermo’s eyes, he pressed a gentle kiss to the bandage. Guillermo's heart fluttered.
“During times of war in Al Quolanudar,” Nandor began, “we would often kiss the booboos of fellow soldiers. It promotes healing, you know."
Guillermo cleared his throat. "What if I told you I, uh, had a cut on my lips?”
Nandor stared blankly at him, as if unsure what to make of this comment. For a moment, Guillermo wondered how someone who'd been alive for hundreds of years could be so dense to his flirting–but then Nandor's expression softened, and he understood.
"I'd do as any soldier worth his salt would," Nandor whispered. He leaned in and kissed Guillermo on the lips.
The kiss was brief but breathtaking. For a moment Guillermo felt weightless, and he wondered if Nandor had lifted him up; he moved his feet, confirming they were still firm on the carpet.
Then, Nandor pulled away. “...Mm, still no." he sighed. He waved a hand in front of Guillermo's face. "You will not remember that I just kissed you."
A wave of disappointment washed over Guillermo. Nandor backed away and headed for the door, leaving him alone in the crypt.
Guillermo’s gaze fell to his bandaged knuckles. He brought them to his lips, kissing the spot where Nandor had kissed earlier.
"Hey, y’all! Guess what I got at work today!" Colin announced as he arrived home from work.
"Hopefully not another promotion," Laszlo remarked.
"Nope, not yet, anyway. I did get something just as dandy, though." He held up a flyer with five perforated tickets on the bottom. "There's a nighttime carnival in town tonight, and everyone at the office got free tickets.”
"Your boss gave you a gift? For what reason?" Nandor asked.
“Eh, sometimes they give us little goodies at the end of the month; probably eases their guilt about the lack of benefits." Colin shrugged. "Anyway, there's enough for all five of us to go."
"My last experience with a carnival was terrible," Nadja sighed, collapsing onto the nearest chaise. "I was forced to eat a puffy corn kernel. The mere thought of repeating that experience makes me nauseous all over again." She cupped a hand over her mouth and shuddered.
"If anyone comes near you with that wretched human food,” Laszlo said, gently patting Nadja on the shoulder, “rest assured that I will decorate the town with their entrails.”
Nandor, on the other hand, was gazing at the tickets with a sense of ambition. "Will this nighttime carnival really have those massive wheels?” he asked, pointing at the flyer.
"Oh, for sure! You won't wanna miss out on the ferris wheel," he said, giving Nandor a knowing look.
Nandor grinned widely. "Then we must go! I would like to see this fairy wheel. Guillermo, help me get my outfit ready!" he said, leaping out of his chair and racing toward the staircase.
“Uh, Nandor–” Guillermo was tempted to explain that dressing up wasn’t necessary for a carnival. But the vampires had a tendency to overdress regardless of the occasion; so he decided to simply go along with it, and he followed Nandor up the stairs.
The typical chatter and bustle of the carnival filled the night. Apparently Colin wasn’t the only one who’d gotten some free tickets, because it was a bit more crowded than Guillermo had anticipated.
As soon as they arrived, Nandor was quick to hop on the carousel, claiming that one of the horses looked exactly like his beloved Jahan.
The rest of the group quickly grew bored of it, however. Nadja and Laszlo went off to play some dart-throwing game (the former had her eyes on an adorable looking doll on the prize shelf), and Colin decided to go feed on some of the sleep-deprived vendors.
That left Guillermo alone on the sidelines of the carousel ride, waiting for Nandor to get his fix–which seemed to be immediately after the others had parted ways.
“Oh, done already?” Guillermo asked. “You can keep riding it if you like it that much, I don’t mind waiting–”
“Don’t be foolish. I just wanted to get those three imbeciles out of our hair.” Nandor gave Guillermo a playful nudge. “Now we can do what we really came here for.”
“What are you–” Guillermo was cut off as Nandor grabbed him by the arm. He dragged him across the lot and through the crowds, paying no mind to the people around him. Guillermo apologized on Nandor’s behalf as he bumped into people along the way.
It was only when they approached the looming ferris wheel did Guillermo realize what was going on. His heart sank in his chest. “...Oh. What exactly, uh, are we doing?”
“We’re going to ride the fairy wheel, you silly goose!” Nandor exclaimed. “It is a romantic custom amongst modern humans, is it not?”
Guillermo swallowed a lump in his throat. While that was true, and any other time he’d jump at any opportunity for some alone time with Nandor… he’d developed a slight fear of heights after a certain incident a few months back.
But Nandor had such a joyful expression on his face–he wouldn’t dare tell him no.
So Guillermo worked up a smile; even though it made his stomach turn (he was thankful he hadn’t eaten a heavy meal beforehand), he decided he would brave the ferris wheel that night, at least for Nandor’s sake.
“Uh, yes! Very romantic, absolutely.” Guillermo took a deep breath and clutched Nandor’s cloak as they stepped in line.
“In fact, I’ve heard that many human couples have their first kiss on this mysterious fairy wheel…” Nandor winked.
Guillermo couldn’t help but smile. In reality, he knew it would technically be their third kiss… But he was still set on pretending Nandor’s hypnosis had worked.
Soon enough, it was their turn in line; they boarded their cart on the ferris wheel, and Guillermo took a deep breath.
“You look a bit... frightened.” Nandor observed.
Of course he’d notice that after they’d already gotten on the ride. “Just a little,” Guillermo said. “I’m usually not afraid of heights. I just kind of developed a slight fear after, uh… Well…”
“After I dropped you.” Nandor smiled sadly. “Well, now’s the time to face your fears! Perhaps you’ll have something romantic to associate with heights from now on…” He scooted closer to Guillermo and slipped an arm around his waist.
Guillermo tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Yeah. That’d be nice, huh?” He took a moment to pop a tic tac in his mouth.
Finally, the ferris wheel began to move. Guillermo’s skin began to clam up as their cart rose into the sky.
The people in the crowds below looked like ants. Guillermo decided to stare ahead rather than directly down; he could see all of the lights in the city up ahead, like a starry night.
Nandor reached for Guillermo’s hand and clasped it tightly. His face fell into a slightly disgusted expression. “You are a slimy boy, Guillermo.”
“What? Oh, yeah. Human flesh gets sweaty when we’re nervous.”
“That’s disgusting. I don’t remember my flesh doing that when I was human.”
“It definitely did.”
“Well, slimy as you may be, you are still my beloved,” Nandor said.
“Uh, thanks. I’d hope so.”
The slight embarrassment regarding his sweaty hands was enough to, at least temporarily, distract him from the sense of impending doom. If anything, though, he was better off than anyone else on the ferris wheel–not everyone was sitting with someone who could easily lift him and fly away in case something went awry with the machinery.
As their cart reached the very top of the ferris wheel, Guillermo turned to Nandor with a flutter in his chest. The pale moonlight cloaked his hair and face; it wasn’t often Guillermo got to see him in natural lighting… And he looked ethereal.
“You’re beautiful.” Guillermo breathed.
“As are you, my sweet Guillermo.”
Nandor tilted his head and leaned in towards Guillermo. He placed a hand on his cheek, parting his lips ever so slightly–
Thwack. A bat slammed into Guillermo’s face.
Before he could react –or process what had even happened– the bat transformed into Laszlo, seating himself right between Nandor and Guillermo.
“Sorry to interrupt your canoodling, but I have an important message from our friend Colin,” Laszlo declared.
“...Can it wait? We were having a moment, you know.” Nandor growled.
“Well, Colin insisted it was urgent,” Laszlo said. “He asked me to inform you boys about the dangers of these ‘ferris wheel’ contraptions. Have you heard of the ‘Great Ferris Wheel Massacre?’ It was an incident that happened right here in Staten Island! The entire contraption collapsed, killing all of the participants instantly. It happened in…” He paused to think, then called down to the crowd below. “What year was that tragic accident, Colin Robinson?”
“1923!” Colin called back.
“T’was 1923,” Laszlo repeated.
“Laszlo. Your elbow is in my face.” Guillermo said.
“Forgive me, Gizmo – it appears this seat is not large enough for three voluptuous asses,” Laszlo chuckled.
“Laszlo. Leave. Now.” Nandor hissed.
“Alright, alright. Just one more thing; Colin asked me to do this before I left,” Laszlo said. He grabbed the handlebars and aggressively shook the ferris wheel cart.
Guillermo let out a shriek and covered his eyes. “Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it st–”
Nandor was seconds away from strangling Laszlo before he turned into a bat and took off–and when he landed beside Colin, his eyes were glowing bright blue. The whole situation was probably a gourmet feast to him.
As soon as the space between them was empty, Guillermo immediately clung to Nandor as if his life depended on it. Nandor let out a sigh of defeat, giving him a comforting pat on the head.
Once the ferris wheel ride came to its end, Nandor took Guillermo’s hand and pulled him out of his seat. Then, before he could say anything, he waved his free hand in front of his face and said, ”You will not remember anything that happened on the fairy wheel.”
Though it was pointless, Guillermo found it sweet that Nandor wanted to wipe that whole… hellish experience from his memory. He took a deep breath, trying his best to pretend everything was normal.
“S-so, um,” Guillermo began, clearing his throat, “Where do you want to go now?”
“I think we should take a walk,” Nandor said, making his way toward the gates that led to the nearby park. “I need a break from all this technology… and people.”
As the two of them made their way through the park, Nandor was eerily quiet. Any other time he’d be chatting up a storm, ranting about the tactless pricks he had for roommates, possibly plotting a way to seek revenge–but instead, Nandor kept his eyes lowered to the sidewalk, an unreadable expression on his face.
The longer they went without a word being spoken, the more concerned Guillermo began to feel. He didn’t want to be the first to speak, but the silence had his skin crawling.
"Nandor, are you feeling alright?" Guillermo finally asked.
As if his words had broken a spell, Nandor came to a halt. They'd reached a fork in the park trails, now standing before a small flower bed beneath a lamp post. Moths fluttered around the flickering light, creating speckles in the ray of light below.
"You'll have to forgive me, Guillermo. But we have been together for... how long, again? When you've been alive for so long, time flies by too quickly to keep track.”
Guillermo swallowed a lump in his throat. He knew that none of this was his fault–that it’d be absurd to think Nandor was about to break up with him over Colin and Laszlo’s dumbassery–yet he couldn’t fight off the sense of panic washing over him.
"Two months," he finally said.
"Fuck." Nandor rubbed his temples. "By human standards, we probably should have kissed already, shouldn’t we?”
Guillermo knew that wasn’t the case, but he kept his lips sealed. "It's not a big deal. I know you wanted to take things slowly."
"Yes, but 'slowly' for me is like an eternity to your young human brain. You deserve better. It's just..." He wrung his hands, grumbling like he always did before admitting something he didn’t want to.
"As much as I tease Nadja for her superstitious ways, I have to admit that I harbor a deep superstition myself,” he confessed. “I believe that the first kiss in a relationship must be perfect... If it is anything but, the relationship is doomed to fail. I was hoping tonight would be perfect, and we could have our first kiss on the magical fairy wheel, but…"
Guillermo let out a sigh of relief. That was why he’d hypnotized him after their previous kisses? Though he wasn’t sure how hypnosis–even if it had been successful–would have negated the effects of a superstition anyway, but he supposed the very nature of superstitions had little regard for logic…
Nandor cupped Guillermo's cheek, forcing him to look him in the eyes. "I love you more than anything, Guillermo. But if my dilly-dallying is making you unhappy–"
"It’s fine," Guillermo said, taking Nandor’s hand into his own. He pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "Seriously. If I wasn’t willing to be patient, I wouldn't still be here."
Nandor smiled. "I leave you waiting far too much. I've yet to turn you, even, all because of my own worries, and–”
"Shh." Guillermo hushed, pulling him into an embrace. "Stop apologizing."
Nandor opened his mouth to speak again, but decided against it. Instead, he returned the hug, allowing the warmth of Guillermo's body to comfort him in the breezy autumn night.
Guillermo had, admittedly, struggled with superstitions throughout his life; avoiding cracks on the sidewalk, throwing salt over his shoulder, feeling a looming sense of dread that one time he broke a mirror.
But after spending over a decade in a house full of vampires–and after slaughtering more vampires than he dared to count–those fears had fizzled out into nothing.
And besides, even if this superstition held any weight, and even if Nandor's hypnosis would have done anything to reverse it, it hadn't worked anyway, so the damage–by Nandor’s logic– was already done. He wished he could tell him there was nothing to lose; maybe it would ease his mind.
Or he could do something a little more ambitious.
Guillermo turned his gaze up to Nandor, who was still staring off into the distance. His lips were out of reach; why Nandor wore high-heeled boots when he already towered over the average person without them, he’d never understand.
Guillermo took a deep breath. He grabbed Nandor by the collar, tugged him close, and kissed him.
Nandor’s eyes flew wide open. For a moment Guillermo feared he’d try to pull away, but he quickly let them fall shut, and his shoulders relaxed, and he melted into the kiss like honey in tea.
For a moment, the chatter of the nearby carnival and the buzzing of the city were silent. Nandor clutched the back of Guillermo’s sweater as he tightened their embrace.
Guillermo felt fangs against his lips. The sharp enamel grazed his sensitive flesh, not hard enough to break the skin, but enough to send a shudder down his spine.
Then, their lips parted. Nandor had a look of pure love in his jet-black eyes. For a second Guillermo feared that he’d try to hypnotize him again, but those fears dissolved as Nandor went in for another kiss, but a shorter one this time.
"So, based on our first kiss, what's the fate of our relationship?" Guillermo whispered once their lips parted again.
"I am not a fortune teller, so I cannot say for certain,” Nandor began, “but I think it bodes well."