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“Again?!” Logan rasped as he placed his thimble game piece on Patton’s two-housed property named Boardwalk.
Logan made the incredibly unwise decision to play a board game with Patton. Now, with the combined curses of having a short temper, and the moral side’s preposterous luck when participating in gambling games, it was destined for him to lose over and over.
Though Logan was aware of that absurd truth, he would never admit it truly aloud, or to himself, for that matter. Roman warned him of Patton’s known skills for any and all things involving a pair of dice; however, Logan still scoffed at the idea, citing that it’s all random chance, really, perhaps Roman’s fortune was lacking at that moment but, that isn’t to say his chances were unequal to Patton’s.
Yet, here Logan was! White-knuckled, face reddened, and teeth grinding from having to give Patton yet another sum of 600 dollars for landing on his settlement for the third turn in a row! In normal circumstances, Logan would never think to consider taking advice presented by Roman (of all people), but seeing as Patton’s odds seem to be illogically insurmountable, he was just about ready to cave.
Virgil shuffled to the side a slight bit due to a slight fear of… Logan kicking the table. While he adored Logan, he certainly didn’t like seeing him so worked up about something so trivial, after all, that's his job, “Dude- it’s Monop-“
“An obvious statement Virgil, I un-“ Logan shook the table, the loose wood legs trembled from the sudden stress put upon them. “-der-,” he stirred the board once more, causing some of the game pieces to fall over. “-stand that! However, that does not explain why Patton is such- an expert at this!”
Patton smiled, unlike his usual ones full of endearment and kindness, this one practically stews the Cheshire Cat’s impishness. Happy Pappy Patton here took no prisoners when it came to board games. He always plays an honest game, sure, but he will make you think he’s cheating with the prosperity thrust upon him during every turn of his. The mischievous nature he presented during this time seemed to be the only trait he shared with his boyfriend at first glance.
Virgil dropped a hand on Logan’s shoulder, rubbing slowly with sympathy, “We all have to face Patton’s sweeping Monopoly wins at some point I guess- I’m not sure- but, really though Lo, don’t let it get you angry, it’s just a game! Cognitive distortions and all that.” Virgil offered a small smile.
“Usually, I would appreciate the support. But, you have misunderstood!” Logan flipped his hands in the air, throwing his traditional fit of denial, “I am not angry!”
Perfectly queued, Janus popped onto the chair left of Patton. Confused, he looked around the room before he realized the reasoning for his sudden summoning.
“Another lie from Logan I see- take this as a sign to calm down, Logic. Coming from deception himself, if you’re seriously lying about being angry in a Monopoly game, oh- for sure you’re being the reasonable one here.” Janus rolled his eyes and set his hands down on the table.
Logan sucked in a huge breath, ready to use the anger he’s acquired during the game to shout out to a certain snake. While Janus only just appeared, he hasn’t done anything bad, yet, it may as well be customary to belt out the side’s trait.
“Dece-!”
“Yes yes Logan, that’s what I represent, I am certainly aware.” Janus huffed, annoyed by the continued trend of someone yelling at him when he pops up. Just because it was common practice, doesn’t mean everyone liked it. By everyone, Janus carried that title exclusively.
“I have a name, I sure hope you’re aware.”
Patton tossed the dice in front of him, he beamed as he got not only snake eyes but also moved his pieces right past Logan’s property. “And... “ The moral side scooted his chair closer to Janus. “What a beautiful name it is, Sweetheart.”
The scale-less side of Janus’ face blushed a deep strawberry red, “Sssssstop- I have a reputation to uphold-” He then intertwined his fingers with Patton’s.
Virgil groaned, “Okay! We get it! You two are dating now!” In all honesty, he wasn’t completely angry at the fact. After the recent events of Patton’s… transformation due to stress- he wasn’t all there emotionally like how he used to be, Virgil knew that much. However, after Papa Patton here confessed his crush to Janus and the snake reciprocating the romantic feelings, the moral side was indeed happier. Still, it didn’t mean Virgil wasn’t salty. He would say he hated Janus, but, according to dear ol’ morality, ‘hate is a strong word’.
“It’s already weird… enough that Thomas has started trusting you. So keep the gushy couple stuff to yourselves, no hand-holding on my watch!” Virgil said sharply.
“Dear, you do not wear a watch-”
“Shush, babe- Logan- I’m on a roll-” Virgil interrupted.
Logan rested a finger on his chin as he took Virgil’s comment too literal, just as always. “Like some sort of bread roll?”
“A roll as rolling some dice!” Patton beamed as he passed the dice over to Logan before he gasped with delight, “Like how we’re doing right now!”
“I do love a good word association game.”
Janus’s laugh, a mixture of bitterness and genuine enjoyment of the situation echoed through the walls of the mindscape. “Oh please, Virgil. Patton-dearest and I are the ones who are too affectionate for this place? And you all call me the liar!”, Janus glared.
Virgil looked over to Logan as he mouthed the words, “I am going to beat him up. Watch me, I’ll do it!”
Despite how the gesture was meant for Logan’s eyes only, Patton caught on, “Janus…” he warned sternly but still softly.
“What!” He rested his legs on top of the side table not riddled with game pieces or fake money, then proceeded to cross them like a sarcastically charged teenager.
“Dear, you’ve seen their overly affectionate… displays! Every morning I come in to hug you from behind when you’re making muffins, and then I look over, and what do I see? Definitely not these two-” He pointed a finger over to the other couple, “Swapping spit, just making out on the couch! Acting as if they’re teenagers who’ve just learned what kissing is, or worse yet- Roman practicing on a pillow!”
“Does- does Roman do that?”
“Point is!” Janus took his crossed limbs off the flat surface, and glanced over to Patton with the most innocent, angel eyes he could muster up, “That simply isn’t fair, My Heart, wouldn’t you agree?”
Patton sighed deeply and looked to the side, “I do think that’s just a tiny bit unfair-“
A confident laugh erupted from Janus, “Ha Ha! I win!”
Virgil scoffed, “Suck up.”
Logan rolled the dice and moved his piece, only for it to land on the “Go To Jail” space. He let out a huff before he started tapping his foot on the floor repeatedly. Upon noticing this movement, the anxious side rubbed circles on Logan’s back as a calming gesture.
“Now now… you didn’t let me finish, Honeydee!”
“Oh, whenever you give me a new nickname, Dear”, Janus leaned on Patton’s shoulder. “I just hate it sssssso much.”
Patton sighed with a smile on his face as he petted Janus’ bangs out of his eyes. “No flattery, for now, Mister. Although I do believe Virgil’s statement is kindaaa unreasonable to some extent…” He looked over to Virgil, “Now! That doesn’t mean you get to act rude back, Dee. If what they do bothers you so much, ask them to stop, who knows maybe they will!”
Virgil snickered after he heard Patton’s declaration. Janus grumbled something under his breath before something in his mind sparked.
He sat up straight, “You’re right! I propose we take more of a… direct… perhaps… fun approach. So, Virgil, why don’t we make things more interesting here? I propose a bet.” A grin curled on Janus’s lips.
Virgil raised an eyebrow, “U-huh. What do you mean exactly?”
“I suggest to you that since you find Patton and me holding hands so ‘R-Rated’, as you implied ... that possibly if your Nerd over there-” Janus waved his gloved hand in a shooing motion at Logan.
The nerd in question made a confusion-filled face, “Is he referring to me? If so, you attempting to use the word ‘nerd’ as an insult doesn’t really work, nerd culture is rather mainstream nowadays.”
“Anyways!” Janus quickly shouted, “If he can manage to beat my Dearest in this… little board game, then we shall cease public affection for a whole week!” He tilted his head with a slight, cocky smirk.
“Uh-huh now- hold on a second there-” Patton brought up a finger as he protested.
“Hmm…” Virgil thought aloud, “Sounds interesting. But, why should I even trust a slimy snake-like you?” He rolled his eyes.
“Oh please. To quote you-” Janus’ cleared his throat before he did a perfect impression of Virgil’s deep voice, “I’m not always the bad guy.”
Logan gave Virgil a worried glance. While the two always fought after Virgil’s departure from the dark sides, definitely lately their treatment of each other got more like a catfight at times.
“Are you always gonna use my own words against me?” Virgil let out an exasperated sigh.
Janus’ smirked before he had thrown an arm over Patton’s shoulders, “Guilty as charged.”
Virgil’s eyes closed slowly as he glared, “Bring it on! My dork has this in the bag, right!?” He nudged his elbow into his boyfriend’s side, a bit harder than habitual due to his newfound, undeserved confidence.
The logical side raised an eyebrow, “I remember you stating earlier that no one can beat Patton at these games, or something of that notion?” He fiddled with his tie, of course, he wanted to impress Virgil and certainly didn’t wanna give up handing out affection to his Darling. But, the odds definitely weren’t in his favor no matter how much he didn’t wanna believe it.
Virgil turned towards him, put his palms on Logan’s shoulders, and whispered, “You got this, probably- maybe- I’m not completely sure. But, you can try!”
“Aren’t you anxious over this- not to say you uh- need to be, of course. I’d never wish for you to necessarily be.” Logan tripped over his words, overthinking them a bit as to not seem harmful. “However, does your hatred of Janus really overpower your usual nature?”
Virgil grinned, “Correct.”
-
The longest game of Monopoly ever played in the side’s household was around 5 or so hours. It was between Roman and Virgil, both refusing to quit after dedicating so much time to the activity, and both of them being extremely cocky individuals. Lots of popcorn was eaten, thrown on the floor in anger, and then cleaned up by Patton later because while he’s fine with uncles he sure isn’t with ants. Still, after how emotionally exhausting the game was, it ended in a draw, mostly because they decided they needed to be productive, and they were running out of insults for each other.
That being said, yeah, this particular installment in the series of side standoffs blew that record out of the water.
Virgil pressed anxiously on the buttons on the fidget cube in his right pocket, “I don’t- I can’t tell if I’m nervous because of the game or lack of sleep at this point.” He lifted his left hand and started biting on his nails.
Logan continued to stare at his own hands while the dice were shaken, a roll that could determine if he wins this hellscape of a game or all these hours were a waste. Truly, who knew Monopoly could get so intense. If he could skip over Patton’s property and make it to park palace, and due to house rules be able to win in one swoop. He may very well be able to succeed, and at this point, he must admit he deserved some Virgil affection after this.
He slapped Virgil’s hand away from the side’s mouth, to which the anxious side groaned. “Why’d you do that!” He made an annoyed face, eyebrows slanted down, nose scrunched up, and with his usual dramatic scowl.
Logan turned to him with a perplexed look, “It’s a bad habit dear, we’ve talked about this. Why are you not chewing on the gum I gifted you?” His head tilted slightly.
Virgil shrunk in his chair, oh right his bad habit. “I-”, he continued, “ran out-”
Janus loudly scoffed, “As charming as you two are, which I will agree with the Trekkie over there, nail-biting is a bad habit you need to-”, the snake snickered to himself, “chew out of.”
Patton giggled, to which Janus gave a warm smile out before he retreated back to his diss, “Can we please finish up here! I have dishes to wash with Patton soon, he also has an unacceptable habit of overworking himself.” He shifted his eyes to Patton’s for a second with a sympathetic look before going back to his usual sass.
“So, please!” The Snake clapped his gloved hands together, “Can we get on with it!”
Logan slid up his glasses so they were perfectly perched on his nose, “Fine, fine. Er-” He dropped the dice on the table.
The black and white cubes danced across the game board. They jumped around from number to number, maybe they’d land on 3, or perhaps a 1? The dice, rocked a bit back and forth before they decided to settle down in the middle of their arena and real a total of 7.
Virgil started to flap his hands around in excitement, “Holy hell, L! What even were the odds for that?!”
Even Logan stared upon his lucky strike with a dumbfounded, wide-eyed expression. “I- uh”, he nervously stuttered, “I believe about 16.67%? I will admit I am not thinking the straightest currently, however, that may be since I am a homosexual.” He tapped his fingers against the table.
Janus was left speechless for once in his life.
Patton shrugged with a soft smile. “Well, golly geez! That sure was a mighty fine roll, Logan! Hopefully, I don’t end up bankrupt on this next roll!”
He threw the dice out of his hands after a good shake, it skipped along before it landed on exactly the number Patton-
Did not need.
“Oh no! I’m bankrupt!” Patton with an exaggerated motion threw his hands up in the air.
Janus slammed his fists on the table, “I demand a recount!”
Virgil shot out of his seat, “Aha! That’s not how it works, Doctor Facilier reject! I am trying so hard to not dance around right now- SUCK IT, JANUS!” He continued to laugh as he paced around.
“I have-” Logan sucked in a breath, “-never felt this much joy before, in my life, other than maybe seeing Wanda become the Scarlet Witch in Wandavis- ok that does not matter right now…”
Virgil paused, “You’re a nerd, you know that right?”
Logan furrowed his eyebrows, “I am aware, yes.”
Virgil turned to face Janus, “Listen, Ol’ Hissy fit!” The anxious side laughed, “GUESS WHO LOST!”
“No one. Absolutely no one. I do not even know who any of you people are.”
“Come on, say it!” Virgil spun around, bounced over to Janus, and pointed a finger in front of his face. “Say it or you’re a coward- legally.” He smirked. “Defined by law… or some shit, whatever! Say it!”
Janus stared at Virgil, then looked over at Logan and rolled his eyes. “The talking calculator- indeed, won this…” He scrunched up his nose, “...pointless game of Monopoly.”
“See?” Virgil booped the tip of Janus’s nose, “Now, was that so hard?”
“Not at all,” Janus grunted.
Virgil stood straight back up, “Exactly! I say, Logan, we should go have a winning dinner, on me!” He spun on his heels as he hugged Logan.
“Like psychically on you?” He titled his head slightly, “I believe that would cause a mess. Or, do you mean metaphorically? If so, you do not have to use money to conjure up dinner, we do not have a stable economy in the mindpalace besides maybe- that one dollar in circulation, I suppose.”
Virgil snorted, “I’m too happy from sticking it to Janus to even bother correcting you. Let’s just go to my room.”
“I will never understand emos.”
They both sunk out.
Janus stared at the spot the two nerds were in earlier before he rotated to look at Patton, “Fixing a game just to prove a point, huh?”
Patton shrugged, “Maybeeeeee? And their happiness, of course! Did you see their smiles? Adorable!”
Janus sighed before he gave Patton a small smile, “I knew I liked you for a reason, you sneaky frog." He grabbed Patton's hand, "Anyways, I crossed my fingers while we made that bet, we are sure as HELL still being affectionate.”
“Language, and thank goodness- but, you know you need to stop lyinggg as much!” Patton’s lip poked out.
“Ha, never, my Dear.”