Work Text:
Maybe it's all just for a moment
What are we looking for so aimlessly
But I don't care, I'll do it over and over
I just need you in my life
Alexa Bliss.
Alexa Bliss was everything and more.
Falling for Alexa Bliss was everything and more. It was daunting, sudden, unexpected, beautiful…
The best way Becky could describe it was like meeting an unstoppable force, it came out of nowhere and there was nothing she could have done to stop it. One day they were hanging out after school, she said a dumb joke and the blonde laughed loudly, showing her full smile and that was it. Becky's heart started beating for one person and one person only. At that moment her heart became unavailable.
Loving Alexa Bliss was something similar, something Becky had no problems doing. It came easy, natural, and made her the happiest she’s ever been. Being loved by Alexa Bliss was even better than anything she could ever imagine, nothing could describe it. They were... magic until they weren’t.
And it wasn’t like they ended badly, there wasn’t a big fight, no drama, no miscommunication, no ‘it’s me, not you’ thing. They just… weren’t anymore.
The redhead saw it coming and the one thing she probably regrets in one way or another is that she just let it happen, and she did because something was telling her that she should probably let it happen as if the universe was telling her that it was okay to let go for now, that it was just simply not their time and so they fall apart.
They each go to their respective schools with the promises of keeping in touch, with promises of nothing changing but things do change along with each of the girls, Becky thinks this is the starting point of Alexa slipping away. She’s there for her, of course she is, they talk when they can, whether that’s Alexa calling first or Becky, they talk, and they are fine. But they weren’t.
And then Becky goes back to Ireland for the winter break because her brother was getting married and because Becky feels lonely and so it’s the perfect excuse to go back home, this means she’s even further apart from Alexa for three weeks, a literal ocean apart. There’s a lot of missed calls, lost texts, facetime calls ending with one of the two falling asleep due to the time difference, forgotten calls, calls postponed for later (which they never have).
Long distance is fucking hard.
Her brother gets married, and Becky flies back home the next day. Just like that.
Alexa doesn’t come to see her.
They don’t really talk other than the quick text of ‘I’m home.’ and Alexa ’s ‘I’m glad.’ and that’s it, no I love you, no I’ll come see you… nothing.
Two days later she gets a text. She knows what it means the moment she reads it. She then see’s the last text she received from Alexa prior to this one was from over a week ago and so Becky concludes it makes sense
[Lexi <3 <3 16:04]
I’m coming over. We need to talk.
That was hint number one. When the person you are dating says ‘we need to talk’ well that only means one thing, everyone and their mother knows what that means.
Somehow Becky knew it was coming and she’s not as scared or as worried as she thought she would be. That’s probably why she didn’t fight it, why she just let it happen.
And so she replies with an ‘Okay’ and waits. She doesn’t prepare anything as she usually did, no tea, no coffee, no food because she just knew there would be no quick talk and nothing for Alexa to stay around for.
When Alexa gets there Becky goes up to open the door, because Alexa knocks instead of coming in as she usually did. She places her key on the redhead’s entrance table, just her key, no keyring, not her purse, not her phone, just the key. That was hint number two. She steps aside and the blonde comes in. She stands in the middle of her living room, her back to the redhead as she looks outside through the window, her hands in front of her fidgeting.
They stood like that for what felt like hours, nothing but the sound of the car engines in the background, the faint drops of rain against the window, because apparently the universe decided to set the mood appropriately for this moment. It was cloudy, chilly, raining and Becky’s neighbor was playing a sad song and Becky almost wants to roll her eyes at the world, because alright she fucking gets it, they are done and she’s hurting enough without the need of additional sound effects.
The blonde then turns around and Becky feels her heart and world stop for a moment, it always did when it came to her. Alexa was wearing an oversized light blue hoodie with her hair on the side looking gorgeous as ever.
“Hi.” The blonde says. It feels stranger, when Alexa ’s voice once had a unique way to her heart was now just another voice she knew. And that was hint number three.
“Hey.” She answers just as awkwardly. It was so unlike them yet it was exactly like them, at least for this version of them. “How are you?” She then asks in a casual tone as they weren’t about to officially end their relationship, as if the blonde was nothing more than an acquaintance. She hates it.
“Could be better.” Alexa answered with a shrug. “But I guess you know that already.”
Yep. She fucking hated it.
“Um…” Becky’s eyes darted around looking for something else to say. “Do you… want some water or…?”
“Two months.”
“Huh?’
“Two months.” Alexa repeats. “That was how long we had together, that’s the length of time in which we were able to hug, to kiss… to talk.” She explains as she starts pacing in the small room. “If… if I… if this....” Alexa sounded so unsteady and her hands were shaking when motioning between the two of them that Becky almost tells her that it’s okay, that they can work it out… but she doesn’t. “Had we just fucking confessed earlier than we did then maybe we wouldn’t be doing this, then maybe we would have a strong base to continue but I… I don’t think we can, I just… wish it didn’t have to be this way.”
Hint number four and the final hit. That was it. They were done.
Fucking universe and its timing.
“I don’t think we have much choice.” Becky tells her with a small shrug. And she felt this horrible sickening sensation run straight down her spine and it was nothing like the feeling she’d feel before when Alexa was still hers, no, this one was like a plague, an ache. She realized later this feeling… It was heartbreak.
Alexa then lets her tears fall in front of her and it makes it hurt all that much more. But her eyes, her eyes looked the same way Becky did, they were reflecting the same emotion… resignation. The redhead figured out soon enough it was because their heartbreak started a long time ago.
Tears gather in the corner of Becky's eyes. She tried to stop because she wasn’t a crier not like Alexa was, it was something that the redhead constantly teased her for and something that had Becky go to the ends of the world to stop. Not anymore though, because Alexa wasn’t hers anymore, and she wasn’t Alexa ’s either.
“So, I guess this is it.” She whispers. And is all she says because she just can’t say the final words, Alexa has to do it. She was always the strongest one out of the two of them.
“Yeah, we’re done.”
Alexa sniffles and wipes away the tears streaming down her cheeks quickly with the knuckle of her thumb, and she opens her mouth as if to say something but there's really nothing else that can be said at this point.
Becky again feels that need of pulling her into a hug, wants to feel the sensation of Alexa holding onto her shirt so hard as if she didn’t want to let go one more time. Wanted to just eliminate the distance between them but she didn't.
Instead she watches the person who was once her whole world move towards the door.
She watches as Alexa leaves.
And just like that her world is left empty.
---------------------------------
Love is slippin' and fallin'
Love is killin' your darlin'
That fearless thrill returns once the pain subsides
When Becky goes back to Florida, she only goes out to eat at her favorite vegan restaurant and get some supplies from her favorite store, mind you she has not been able to find the same quality notebook in the store near her house. She goes to the performance center and back to her rental. Nowhere else.
The moment she arrived she headed out to do all her errands, vegan place (with two orders to go of course), notebook and home. She figures the less she moves around the less chance there is of her running into someone else… a pretty, bright smiled, blonde someone else.
She knew Alexa had been coming back more often since her parents had recently moved back, how does she know this? Well someone might have told her, not that she asked but they offer her information without her even asking and who is she to say no to brand new information? But still she stayed at her airbnb most of the time… just in case.
She didn’t expect to cross anybody she knew while she was here and the second thing she did not expect was how quickly she would get bored, hence after pacing around for a few minutes she makes her choice and grabs a book, her notebook and off she went to get some coffee she might as well lose time while getting some air
And now here she is sitting by the corner of the coffee shop near the airbnb. Black coffee on the table next to a half eaten vegan vanilla cupcake, reading glasses on as she reads a book about some scientist answering absurd questions in a very serious scientific way...
‘What if everyone actually had only one soul mate, a random person somewhere in the world?
—Benjamin Staffin
What a nightmare that would be.’
Well shit.
Randall Munroe had a point.
It would be an absolute nightmare, even worse would be knowing who your soulmate was and not being able to be with them. What a shitty thing that would be to live with.
‘But what if we did have one randomly-assigned perfect soul mate, and we couldn’t be happy with anyone else? Would we find each other?’
Well fuck.
Randall Munroe is asking the right questions.
Memories of a blonde with a gorgeous smile laughing happily as she pulls a redhead girl on top of her while they fumbled onto the bed. It was the second time that day, they kissed while grasping at each other’s clothes and tugging their bodies together in desperation as if they couldn’t get close enough. The blonde girl pulls away and whispers something against the redhead's ear making her blush and smile, the girl on top knows that this was what if felt to be in love and will alwa… whoa… stop it there bruh.
Don’t go there Becks… just… don’t.
“Becks, is that you?”
Ah, Lita, she was like her mother away from home. She ran the housing place where she stayed during her ‘dark’ years, said their rents helped with her mortgage payments plus she didn’t feel as lonely, the woman was nice and very caring for them, there were three kids staying there back then, Becky, Nikki and Rhea, all transfered from a different country.
Lita was probably the first person who figured out what happened between Alexa and Becky, as she still remembers the warm and caring embrace she was engulfed with after the blonde left her room that day. The woman had seen Alexa walk out crying and put two and two together fairly quickly.
She still remembers the way Lita held her hand as she spoke to her mom and told her what had happened, she remembered how she along with the other two girls organized a movie night for her, with ice cream and sad movies to cry her heart out. Lita had a very special place in her heart and she promises herself to come visit her more often.
“Lita, Hi!” She greets standing up.
“It’s Mrs. Stratus now!” She said with a-smile, showing her ring finger where Becky could see a shiny diamond glow with the sunshine light. Seems Trish did keep her promise and Becky is happy for them.
“Oh my God! Congratulations!” She’s pulled into a hug and somehow she feels as though she was a young stupid kid again, with the way Lita is comfortably hugging her and rubbing her back as if she knew how she had been as if she somehow knew that there was a piece of Becky’s heart that was missing and weighing heavily on her shoulders.
She tells her she’s fine, tells her she is kicking ass and she’s happy with her art classes. Lita tells her she is happy for her and that she better come visit more often or else, one more hug later and the older woman leaves her by herself again, not before giving her a key to a storage box.
And so is this how Becky finds herself parking her car by a side street close to the place and walks towards it. When she opens the storage box she sighs, looking at her boxes of things would be a nightmare but she supposes she had put them off long enough, and well she did need something to do to get rid of her boredom.
It’s around two hours later when she finds herself sitting crossed legged on the floor with one shoe box in front of her, unopened. The label outside the only clue as to what it was. .
‘Her’.
Polaroids, drawings, movie tickets, songs… just a pile full of memories of what once was the happiest time of her life.
She shakes her head to get rid of the memories and the feelings that came with them and simply placed the box inside one the ‘keep’ boxes by her right. She hauls the three boxes to the trunk of her car and makes the choice right then and there to just leave and go back to her flat, there was nothing more left for her here.
She’s driving back through the main street of town when her cell phone rings, she stops at a red light rolling her windows down enjoying the soft breeze, she opens the message and stares at it until the light turns green and someone’s honking behind her…
[Carmella 13:16]
You coming back tonight? I’ve got something to show you…
If you get what I mean ;)
Carmella, she had been informally ‘dating’ her for some time now. She likes her, she’s funny, she’s sweet and just over all amazing yet Becky can’t seem to take that one step further. She’s not dumb, she knows why and she hates the fact that although she’s nowhere to be seen, haven’t tallk to her since that day two years ago, she still has a tight hold on her, and Becky hates it.
Memories of Alexa laughing, crinkling her eyes and playfully shoving her come to her mind, visions of a redhead girl holding the door open for her as she takes the shopping bag from the blonde, receiving a dazzling smile in return flush her mind. Questions of whether she’s okay? If she keeps in touch with the other two girls? Does she have a boyfriend, girlfriend or something more? Come rushing in.
And she shakes her head once again as she raises the volume on her stereo. No use thinking about her, they were nothing now, not even acquaintances. it’s been two fucking years and she’s over her.
She is.
She has to be.
[Carmella 13:18]
So???
[Becky 13:18]
Can’t wait to see it.
Better yet give me a preview ;)
Maybe it's all just for a moment
What are we looking for so aimlessly
-------------------------------
Looking at you with my anxious gaze
You're all I need, even if it hurts
“No”
“But…”
“I said no.”
“But it's the Bella's boutique opening. ”
“No.”
“Brie misses you. She wants you there.”
“I…” Damn it. “No.”
“I miss you. I want to see you. We can drive there together, make a road trip out of it.”
“Mmm… hard pass.”
There’s a sigh heard on the other side of the line. “Alexa won’t be there. ”
Aha! There it was. Bayley 's final move. Alexa Bliss, the girl who still had a hold on a piece of her heart and has not given it back after two and a half years. God fucking damn it. Damn Bayley for knowing exactly why she didn’t want to go, and that was that she didn’t think she could handle seeing the blonde with somebody else because it’s just obvious she was probably with somebody else. She’s Alexa Bliss who wouldn’t want to be with her.
“I promise she won’t.”
She feels a headache coming in and rubs her temples for a few seconds. “Do I have to bring a present?” She mutters, finally giving in. She does miss her friends plus she’s long overdue for a visit to Lita. Besides Bayley promised no Alexa Bliss in the vicinity, maybe she can go back to town for this.
“Yes! Becks we are going to get so wasted! I mean Charlotte is good but she’s got nothing on you.” Bayley said, excited that her partner in crime was coming to the party. “ You want to stay with me? Maybe get an airbnb?”
“Sure.” She agrees, because why not? She likes Bayley and this way they’ll both save on the housing expenses. “I’ll check some options and send them to you.”
And so three days later she found herself driving back to Florida with Bayley, so a four hour drive later and a shower they found themselves outside a brand new Birdy Bee boutique on main street. Bayley had been uncharacteristically quiet since they left the airbnb for some reason which of course makes Becky suspicious.
“Well look who it is, the champ in the flesh.”
She turns around and Sasha stands in the centre of the room, looking at her with a smirk and crossed arms, Becky rushes to her throwing her arms around her neck as the girl does the same. Suddenly she’s glad she came, she missed her so much, she too moved to another city for college so that meant they didn’t get to see each other that much and so she was grateful that at least today she’d get the chance to catch up.
But just as suddenly she also regrets coming and she turns to Bayley and smacks her hard in the arm, because that laugh, that beautiful melodical laugh could only come from one person.
“Ow! Becks what the fuck?” She groans.
“You promised she wouldn’t be here.” She growls and she suddenly realizes why the brunette girl seemed to be very quiet and very complacent today. At the same time she doesn’t know if she’s more angry at Bayley or at herself for panicking so much about this,for not being able to move the fuck on.
“I’m sorry!” Bayley tells honestly. “I knew you wouldn’t have come if you knew she was coming, and I really wanted to see you and so did everybody else.” She tells her.
Because that’s the thing wasn’t it? When the whole thing happened they couldn’t meet anymore, it was either Becky or Alexa , never both and so Becky well… she made the choice for everybody else and walked away maybe it was more for her own sanity, maybe it was because she didn’t want them to pity her, to see how she was still hung up on her ex while said ex had probably found somebody else. In the end it didn’t matter why she walked away, only that she did.
Sasha rolls her eyes and steps in with a champagne glass on her hand, pushing it towards the redhead. “Look, Becks it’s been two years so suck it up and go talk to her what’s the worst that could happen?”
The Irish woman takes the glass and downs it in one go. What’s the worst that could happen? Her heart could get broken into a million pieces once again, not that it was in a very good state since it happened but still it was a very big fucking deal.
Becky stands on the side of the room with a second champagne glass on her hand, the other fidgeting with her car keys inside the pocket of her navy blue slacks as she watches the object of her affections carefully. She stood on the other side of the room, the beautiful black dress she was wearing hugging her curves perfectly. The blonde was talking and laughing with a group of old friends. And god she was gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous, ethereal even.
And then just like in a movie the blonde glances at her, their gazes meet and the entire world stops. Or at least Becky’s does. And all those feelings just come rushing back, because they were never really gone, loving Alexa Bliss was as easy as breathing.
The blonde does a double glance letting the other girls talk and laugh on their own, she wasn’t listening anymore that much Becky could tell. The redhead bravely raises her hand and offers a small wave. Alexa doesn’t wave back but rather excuses herself and starts pushing her way through the small crowd.
Becky swallows, she’s nervous at the prospect of speaking with Alexa again and she can feel the butterflies fluttering up in her stomach just at the mere sight of her, upclose the blonde was even more beautiful.
“Hi.” Alexa says, a little nervously, and Becky is glad. It means maybe she wasn’t alone in this. “You, um, dyed your hair .” She says, noticing the redhead's darker shade of red and her hand reaches a bit to caress at the side of her face but stops half way and tucks a hair from her own blonde hair behind her ear, the irish pretends not to notice.
“Hey, yeah… um, typical art student things.” She jokes, when in doubt, always go for a joke, that’s what Bayley says, maybe she had a point.
“You look great, Becks.” Alexa says, breaking the silence they were surrounded with as they both looked at each other.
Becks..
How she missed the sound of her name coming from her mouth.
“You too.” She tells her with a sincere smile. “Your dress looks… wow.” So she’s nervous and can’t form the right words, sue her. It’s worth it though, it becomes worth it when a tiny smile appears on Alexa ’s face.
“Listen, I…”
They get interrupted, of course, it happens on every rom com right? So why not in this case?
Nikki calls out everyone for the official opening speech and they get separated by the crowd. Becky listens, smiles and applauds when she has too and means it because despite her heart crumbling right now, she did come to congratulate the Bella’s, to see their work, to celebrate it because she was a proud friend. Though she only manages to stay for a bit, ultimately the memories of their break up was still fresh on her mind, still an open wound that just won’t heal and seeing her was like squeezing lemon juice directly on it.
So lets Bayley and Sasha know she’s leaving, tells them she’ll meet them tomorrow for breakfast, and manages to walk away despite them trying to convince her to stay to the after-pijama party the girls had planned at Natalya’s, she wants to say yes, but her heart was too fragile to handle anything else and so she says no.
She was just about to get into her car when a hand took a hold of her wrist, a very familiar hold.
“Please don’t go.” She hears softly behind her.
Swallowing and looking up quickly to ask for some help on getting herself together she turned around and there she was…
Alexa swallows hard, staring openingly at her, the hold on her wrist not releasing. “Stay.”
“Stay.” The girl begs and rolls over in the bed, letting the sheet slip from covering her naked body, and her girlfriend sits up, pulling a shirt over her head. The blonde girl then moves her head a fraction, until it rests right against her heart. She presses a soft kiss and sighs contentedly. “Stay.” A pause. Another kiss. And then a redhead girl is accepting her offer, maybe for a lifetime.
She looks up from her wrist to the blue eyes she loves so much…
“Okay.” She whispers. “I’ll stay.”
-------------------------------
But I don't care, I'll do it over and over
I just need you in my life
Becky sighs.
Then she groans as she turns her head to her right, the naked girl lying in the bed next to her. Carmella was great, she really was but it wasn’t enough, she wasn’t enough to fill her heart. This is something she had concluded and accepted recently, ever since her last trip back to town two weeks ago. She was technically single, emotionally unavailable.
She wonders if she’ll ever be completely single again.
Either way Carmella helps her cope, she feels happy when she’s with her… kind of.
Becky sighs again, running her hand through her loose hair. What a mess.
Carefully, she swings her legs over the edge of the bed and looks for her clothes, she writes a quick note to Carmella letting her know she had an early class, even if that wasn’t true, she just didn’t want to deal with the morning after, cuddling, kissing and acting like a proper couple is not something Becky is good at, at least not anymore.
She decides to stop by for some coffee before heading back to her apartment, hands in the front pocket of her hoodie, white shoes kicking a stone in the sidewalk. Mind thinking about calling or texting Alexa .
Of course Becky will deny it but she looks at every photo on Alexa ’s social media, being very careful to not like anything. Alexa seemed happy, seemed like she got her life together, God she felt like a lost seventeen year old again, with a crush on the most popular girl in school, scrolling through her photos and remembering how out of her league she was. Yet oddly that was something she loved about Alexa .
Loves.
She loves how the girl might seem intimidating and unapproachable but when you get to know her you realize she has the biggest heart there is, how honest, how loving she was, how sincere….
Yep Becky is emotionally unavailable.
Once again she sighs as she gets in line for her coffee. Thinking, always thinking, wondering if people believe she has her shit together as much as she pretends to or do they know she’s actually a mess. She was doing great in her school so that was a plus right, a hint that she did have her priorities straight? God she hoped so.
She is looking up at the menu silently cursing at the dude in front of her for waiting for it to be his turn to actually think about what he wants.
“Hi.”
Becky is about to turn around in shock when she freezes on the spot, a pair of very familiar hands settling on her waist pushing her forward, heart beating out of her chest, tingles down her spine, mind spiraling and every word in the english language completely forgotten.
“Wha… what are you doing here?” Could’ve started with a hello too but can you blame her she’s very much surprised at finding the love of her life in the same coffee spot as her, who hasn’t let go of her waist. Holy shit.
“Why buying coffee of course.” Alexa tells her, dropping her hold on her waist. “What are you doing here?”
“Why buying coffee of course.” She replies in the same snarky manner.
“Hey!”
Becky looks at the dude in front of her and notices the indecisive customer was gone and it was the cashier waiting for her. And then once again she forgets it all when a tiny body pressed against her back, leaning her head and whispering…
“I think he wants your order.”
Oh how she hated that stupid smirk she could hear on voice, but also knew it was another thing she loves about her.
“I’m well aware, thank you.” She hisses and smiles politely at the guy. “Coffee, black, no sugar.”
“Whoa… rough night?” The girl behind her asks.
More like a rough life.
“Midterms.” She answers as she gets to the end of the bar to wait for her coffee, getting her much needed space and some time to take a deep breath and get herself together.
“Why are you here?” She asks next once Alexa is by her side and waiting for her bagel. “And I mean here, not in Starbucks smartass.” She clarifies knowing Alexa was about to repeat the same joke, and what she gets in return is a soft chuckle, a sound so familiar that makes Becky’s heartache come back.
“I’m doing an online internship for a business company here, so I had to come for some paperwork.” She said with a shrug. “Finding you in this specific coffee shop was purely coincidence, as if it was like…”
“Fate.” Becky finishes for her.
The blonde’s eyes sparkle for a moment as she nods. “Yeah, fate.”
“I…” Alexa bites her lip. “I thought you’d call me or text me.” She said, referring to how the blonde gave her her new phone number back at the opening.
Becky stammers “I...well…” What was she supposed to say? I didn’t because I don’t know if I should? I don’t think I can take hearing your voice without breaking? I’m actually trying to move on? “I was about too.. but um, my phone…”
“Right.” Alexa says with an amusing look. A look that said ‘I know you are lying.’ Because of course how could Becky forget she knows her better than she knows herself.
Damn it.
A moment of silence. Their eyes locked in each other.
“Becks, I…”
Her phone rings.
Stupid universe and it’s timing.
Alexa turns around to face her once she’s done and looks at her apologetically. “I-” She pauses, biting her lip. And as she always did, Becky knew what that look meant. She saw it far too often during the last weeks of their relationship.
“It’s okay. Go.” Becky says softly and reluctantly.
“Okay.” Is all Alexa says, nodding. She then grabs her coffee cup and pauses before turning to leave looking at Becky.
“What?” The redhead hair questions.
Aaand… Becky’s brain short circuits again.
A soft hand presses against her jaw, a pair of lips graze her ears as they whisper….
“Call me, please.”
And the final thing to fully shut her down, those very same lips press softly against her cheek, leaving her numb and thrown into memories.
She watches as Alexa leaves, but this time it doesn’t hurt. This time she feels something similar to hope.
Becky ends things with Carmella that very same day.
That fearless thrill returns once the pain subsides
-------------------------------
We are the lovesick girls
You can't just end this love on your own
It takes Alexa getting into an accident on one of her trips to the city to get back together again.
She wakes up in the middle of the night by her phone ringing non stop, when Becky wakes up, her heart drops to her stomach as she see’s five missed calls from the love of her life, and several texts…
[Lexi <3 1:22]
Becks, please pick up your phone, I need you.
Becky calls her back in less than a second.
The redhaired girl doesn’t really question why Alexa calls her and not her dad, or her mom, or some of her friends. It didn't matter why, the only thing that mattered was Alexa .
“Becky?” Alexa ’s anxious voice crackles over the line and she almost sobs with relief and quickly tells her what happened, it was nothing major thank god. A dog had crossed the middle of the road and as Alexa tried to swerve to avoid hitting him, she went off road and crashed against a tree. The dog had an injured leg, but Alexa seemed to be alright, panicked but okay. If you asked Becky she seemed to be more worried about the dog than herself. She didn’t expect anything less.
She yanks the charger from the phone 5% should be enough to get her to the middle of the freeway an hour and a half away from here right?. “Baby, hey.” She says and doesn’t realize the pet name that had slipped up. But Alexa though, Alexa did notice the soft and comforting sound of her voice through the phone calming her panicked state. “I’m coming, Lexi. Just hold on for me yeah?”
After staying on the phone and reassuring Alexa for a few more minutes, the blonde lets her hang up and so finds herself breaking several traffic laws and what was meant to be an hour and a half drive turns into a 40 minutes one. Speeding tickets be damned. When she gets there she sees a tiny figure kneeled beside a crying dog, the car by the side of the road and so she parks behind her and runs…
“Lexi.” She calls out.
The blonde looks up at her with teary eyes and like magnets they both go to each other, and then there’s a couple of arms around Becky’s waist and a blonde hiding her face into her chest. The feeling that the red haired longed to feel again came back, the sweet smell of the blonde’s shampoo invading her nostrils, the soft curves of her body, the way the blonde was holding on so tight to her t-shirt. It felt like coming home.
“I’m so glad you came.” Alexa murmurs.
“Of course I came. I always will, no matter what.” Becky promises, her hand caressing the blonde’s head before pulling away slightly. “Lexi, what happened?”
This is what makes Alexa remember the dog, and the crash, and the smoke, and just like her anxiety comes back and her breathing becomes shallow, she was about to collapse to her knees but a strong figure held her up and pressed against her back.
“Hey, Lexi, breathe…” She said against the blonde’s ear, Alexa ’s hand holding on to Becky’s arms around her waist. “Shhh… shhh… take deep breaths.” She tells her, breathing deeply so Alexa could match her. And then… “I never got over you.”
That makes Alexa stop, her breathing still heavy but no longer did she feel her arms tingling or the world closing in. “Wha...what?” She asks breathlessly.
“I never got over you.” Becky repeats.
A second.
“Me neither.”
But I don't care, I'll do it over and over
I just need you in my life
They don’t talk about it, at least not right away. Because the universe was still an asshole with its timing and made sure to have the guy from the insurance company show up at that moment. The redhead is beside Alexa every step of the way, she takes her hoodie off and gives it to Alexa and takes the blanket on her backseat to carefully pick up the dog and take it to lay carefully on the backseat with the blonde.
She trails behind the towing truck, making Alexa promise to get checked out while she stays with the dog and looks for a 24hrs veterinarian.
Alexa gets an x-ray and thankfully everything’s okay, the dog gets an x-ray too and thankfully all he had was a broken leg. They name him Ollie.
Becky drives them back to her place, offers Alexa to stay the night and then offers her car to her the next day as long as they get to go out for dinner. The blonde agrees.
And so thats how they find themselves sitting on Becky’s balcony with a cup of çoffee in front of them, Becky’s new roommate Ollie, chewing on his brand new toy inside the house while they both steal shy glances at each other until the redhead can’t take it anymore and looks up to the sky.
“We were good weren’t we?” Alexa says, breaking the silence.
Oh yeah. How could she forget about that.
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“Life.”
Alexa chuckles. “Oh yeah. That.”
“I used to think the universe wanted us apart, back then.” Becky admits. “Like it was telling us that it just wasn’t our time.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well what do you think now?” The blonde asks and Becky unmistakably feels a tiny body getting closer to her.
“I think the universe can go fuck itself.”
Alexa bursts out with carefree laughter making Becky feel like she was living again, yet another thing she had missed beyond words.
They don’t say another word after that, at least for a few minutes until Alexa breaks comfortable silence again.
“Um…” She clears her throat and nervously takes Becky’s hand in her and intertwines their fingers. “Are you… going to kiss me or…?”
Becky’s heart stops and swallows nervously. She turns to look at the blonde who had gotten so close pretty much every inch of their bodies was touching. Alexa leans in slowly, her eyes darting back and forth between her eyes and her lips, then Becky leans a fraction more, both of their pulses sky rocketing.
Nothing else happens, no phone ringing, no people coming in, nothing and so Becky concludes the universe is telling them, ‘Go ahead, it is now your time.’
And so she leans in, and kisses her.
For the first time in two years and a month she feels fire running through her veins again, she feels that Alexa shaped whole in her heart fill again.
“I love you.” Alexa moans against her lips.
“I love you too.”
She feels tears on her cheeks and doesn’t bother to figure out if it’s her or Alexa that is crying, probably both, but rather pulls the blonde on her lap, arms wrapping around her waist pulling her impossibly close, the blonde wrapping her arms around her neck, kissing each other with everything they had.
Two years, one month, three days and 5 hrs. That’s how long Becky went feeling empty and now, now she’s finally found her home, her love, her everything.
We were born to be alone
But why are we still looking for love?