Chapter Text
Hello, my name is Mary Alice Young. Years ago, I caused quite the stir on my quiet little culdesac, Wisteria Lane, when I killed myself in an attempt to cover up some dastardly deeds I accomplished during my life. Unfortunately for me, I had some nosy little best friends who got to the bottom of it. I thought this would be the peak of excitement for my friends, but boy was I wrong. They’ve had to deal with so many twists and turns in their life, I thought it was all over when they covered up a murder, but that was just the beginning. Let’s start with some backstory.
Susan Delfino was the first of my friends I had the pleasure to meet when she moved to the lane with her bastard of a husband at the time, Karl, and her young daughter Julie. Karl ended up leaving her, which left her heartbroken until she met the love of her life, Mike. Together, they had a child, MJ and everything seemed perfect, until Mike’s untimely death at the hands of a mobster. Poor Susan, destined for heartbreak. Deciding to start a new chapter in her life, Susan moved away from Wisteria Lane to help her daughter Julie raise her new baby, Sophie while she finished medical school. Time flew by and Julie finished school and was lucky enough to find an opportunity to work at Fairview Memorial Hospital, so they took this chance to move back into their old house on Wisteria Lane so Sophie could be closer to her father, Porter. This is where our story begins.
Susan awoke in the dead of night. She had had that dream again. Standing in their front door as the car drives by, Mike pushes her out of the way and gets shot. Screaming and holding his body as the blood drains from his chest. Why hadn’t she reacted quicker? Maybe she could’ve saved them both, pushed them both out of the way. Now he’s gone, and she has to live with the pain. Susan hadn’t had this dream in a while, but maybe being back in their old house has awoken some of the pain. She had been delighted to get away from the pain when they moved to be closer to Julie’s school but with Julie just starting her new job and her children’s books not exactly flying off the shelves these days, it made the most financial sense to move back in. Susan looked at the time on her phone, 3 am. Any time after two and it was impossible for her to get back to sleep after this dream, she’s tried before. She decided she’d just go downstairs, make herself a cup of tea, maybe get started on some chores. It has only been a week since they’ve moved in, and they’ve really been slacking. Lots of boxes to still unpack. She heads downstairs to find Julie on the couch, wondering if this house caused some old memories to pop back up too.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Susan asks her daughter.
“No, Sophie has been so fussy. What about you?” Ah, so it hadn’t been old memories. Julie has been through quite a bit in this house as well. Her father walking out on them and then dying in an insane plane crash on the street, and of course, Mike’s death was hard on her too, he had been the most consistent male figure in her life, even during the brief time Susan and Mike spent divorced, Mike would still make time for Julie.
“You know, she’s almost three, maybe-”
“Enough mom,” Julie cut her off, “I know what I am doing.” And Susan knew not to pry further. Susan felt as though Julie was a bit too coddling, always checking up on her in the night, insisting she sleeps in the same room as her and is still breastfeeding Sophie. “A lot of new parents are breastfeeding until four!” Julie would always exclaim, but Susan tried not to question too much, she didn’t want to undermine Julie’s parenting and knew she herself wasn’t the perfect mom. Her first divorce was particularly hard on her, and Julie had to take on a lot of responsibility a young child shouldn’t have. Susan turned her attention to the TV and saw a particularly disturbing news story about some crazy person in Florida chewing someone’s shoulder off.
“Woah, what is that?” asked Susan.
“They think it’s some new drug people are using, kinda like bath salts I guess. There was a story about one in the city too,” answered Julie.
“Hopefully you don’t get any of those over at Fairview Memorial.”
“Mom, I’m a little worried.”
“Oh, I doubt it’s anything that serious.”
“No no no, I’m worried about starting this job. I know I’m prepared for it, but it’s nerve-wracking. I wanted to work in the ER to help people, but what if I’m not good at it? And what about Sophie, for her whole life I’ve basically only been away from her when I went to class, and that was just a few hours a week. Now it’s gonna be almost every day.”
“Well, you always know I’m here for Sophie and MJ loves his niece! It’ll be good for her to have some time away from you, teaches her to be independent. And pretty soon she’ll be able to start daycare-”
“Daycare? Since when was that gonna be a thing?” Cut in Julie.
“Well, I just assumed-”
“Are you saying you don’t wanna watch her anymore?”
“No, of course not! It’s just good for her, she’ll be able to learn and socialize. And then maybe I can look for a job teaching art again.”
“I guess...maybe..” Suddenly upstairs, Sophie starts crying loudly.
“See! Even the thought of daycare makes her upset!” Before Susan could even begin to explain how irrational that is, Julie jumps up and heads upstairs to tend to her child. Susan begins to wonder how someone could be so dramatic when she remembers that she’s her child, and dramatic is easily one of the first words her friends would use to describe herself. Her friends. Susan hasn’t seen them since she moved in. Bree and Lynette were both so busy these days and Gaby has been very distant lately, even in their group chat. Maybe she would see if they were available to hang out tomorrow. In the meantime, Susan got to work unpacking more of the boxes.
It had been a few weeks since Susan and Julie had their little spat, and things have been a little tense between them. Julie hasn’t really talked to her outside of her responsibilities with Sophie and Susan was just waiting for things to cool off. After Julie left for work one morning, MJ came running down the stairs. “Good morning mommy!” shouted MJ.
“Good morning honey, how did you sleep last night?” replied Susan.
“Sophie woke me up but I went right back to bed. Can I go out to play today?”
“I don’t know baby, you’re starting middle school soon and we haven’t gotten any of your supplies.”
“Pleeeease mom, Mr. Palmer told me he would play catch with me today. I want to practice to try out for baseball.” Mr. Palmer was new to the lane. A couple of days after moving to the lane, MJ had said he was going out to play and Susan figured he was playing with Juanita Solis or another kid his age, but when she looked out her window she found him riding his bike with an older man, Mr. Palmer. Susan immediately thought this was odd, and went out to talk to him. Pretty shortly after, Susan realized that Mr. Palmer wasn’t some strange man, but just a lonely widower whose daughters have all gone off to college. He mentioned how he’d always wanted a son, and MJ took a liking to him quickly. Susan figured it would be nice to have a man to play sports and other activities (Ones that Susan had no skill in) with MJ. “Okay baby, but tomorrow we have to go shopping!”
“Thank you, mommy!” MJ exclaimed as he ran back upstairs to get ready. Susan looked at her phone and noticed her group chat with the girls was blowing up and remembered she was late for brunch with the girls. They finally had found a day in Bree and Lynette’s schedule where they could all meet. Susan shouted to MJ to call her if he needed anything, quickly put on a cardigan, and ran out the door. Susan waved hello to Roy Bender as she hurried over to Bree’s house and knocked on the door. Bree opened the door and gave Susan a big hug as she exclaimed, “Susan! It’s been so long! Come in, come in!” And Susan complied. She couldn’t help but take in Bree’s living room, where everything has changed, but retained that traditional elegance Bree pulled off so well. Bree took a seat at the dining table as Lynette and Gaby gave their hugs and said their hellos. Susan couldn’t help but notice how different the girls looked. Lynette dressed similar to how she used to, comfortable and casual, but you could tell the clothes were a lot less disheveled and were name brands. She must be doing well at her new job. Gaby, on the other end, had the short little bob that she had during the time that her husband, Carlos was blind. This was her go-to hairstyle when times were tough and Susan figured this was the case after her TV show was canceled. She doesn’t have that aura of confidence and beauty that Gaby once radiated. Bree looked gorgeous, thank god she abandoned her hairstyle where her hair didn’t flinch when she moved.
“Alright, alright, before we dive into the food, we need to catch up. And catch up more than just texting in our group chat about what we’re up to. Susan, how have you been?” Started Bree.
“Well, I’ve just been playing homemaker, getting the house settled while Julie starts her job. How’s your job going Lynette?”
“Oh the usual, just a bunch of men passive-aggressively pissed off that I’m their boss. But aside from that, it’s great. We just started a new marketing campaign for Katherine’s new frozen puff pastry.”
“Oh, I thought Katherine sold the company?” asked Bree.
“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting, haha,” replied Bree.
“How can you forget? She never fails to mention how much she made from the sale,” said Gaby, bitterly. Susan wonders if Gaby is jealous of Katherine’s new lifestyle. Katherine actually moved back to the lane in her old house after the sale, but she is not home a lot. She is always flaunting her massive wealth for all to see on Instagram. Always wearing designer clothes, traveling to exotic places with beautiful women. Gaby is for sure jealous, except maybe of the beautiful women part. Truthfully, Susan is most curious about Gaby’s situation and what she is doing but doesn’t want to ask.
“Well I will tell you,” said Bree, “being on city council for Fairview has been so stressful. Sherry Dunn, you know Sherry, she’s the newest councilor and is so...ambitious. I tell her, I've been on this council for almost 3 years now and the people of Fairview will not like the idea of a Planned Parenthood in our town!”
This started a little bit of back and forth between Lynette and Bree. Lynette had pondered getting an abortion during her most recent pregnancy, which was completely unplanned and completely derailed her life, but Susan was able to convince her it was a gift. Lynette couldn’t be happier about her decision with Paige but still thinks women should have the choice. Bree used to be a hardcore Republican but seems to be more independent these days since she came out in support of gay marriage. However, she’s still firm in her traditional values and loves her firearms. Susan noticed Gaby was quiet during the discussion and decided to pull the trigger by asking her about her situation.
“Gaby, you’ve been quiet, how about you?”
“Well, I think it’s none of my business if a woman wants to get an abortion,” replied Gaby.
“No, no, I mean what’s going on with you? How are the kids and Carlos?”
Gaby didn’t seem interested in answering this question, but she responded, “oh, well they’re all good. Getting the kids ready for school and Carlos is looking for work. He hasn’t worked in a while so it’s tough having gaps in his resume and most of his old colleagues haven’t returned his calls.” Suddenly, she stopped, noticing the looks on her friend's face. “But we’re doing great! Still have loads saved up from the show, just looking for something to do now. Being a housewife doesn’t interest me anymore.” Susan couldn’t help but doubt her friend’s story, but didn’t want to embarrass her with pity and just said,
“That's great!”
“Yeah, I actually talked to Katherine recently, she said she’s looking for a housekeeper. I figured it’d give me something to do, so I’m not bored at home, still close to the kids.” The girls nodded in agreement. Nobody wanted to be the one to question her story, it’s become a bit of an unspoken rule of their friendships not to mention anything when things are obviously tough for one of us, not until it’s too late. They changed the subject to the lane and how much it’s changed, although Susan doesn’t really see it that way. Aside from newbie Derek Palmer and Katherine returning to the lane, things seem almost the same as when she left. Ben and Renee Faulkner are still living in Edie Britt’s old house, with Ben’s construction company financing Renee’s extravagant lifestyle. Bob and Lee are still in the same house, living with their daughter Jenny. Apparently, they have been fostering a child for a little while, so that’s new. Porter and Preston, Lynette’s oldest children, are still sharing the same house. Bree mentions how Danielle’s sex-swing business failed and is back living at home with her son, Benjamin, and Andrew has recently gotten back together with his ex, Alex, although things are still shaky. They continue gabbing and gossiping and soon things feel just like how they used to.
Susan checks her phone and MJ has texted her saying she and Mr. Palmer was now helping Roy Bender look for his cat. Poor Roy, it was right before she left that his wife, Karen McClusky had succumbed to cancer. Mrs. McClusky was a very strong woman, who took the blame for a murder that cleared Bree of all charges shortly before she died. Dear god, Susan thinks we have been on some crazy adventures together. Susan is so grateful she has such amazing friends, friends that have been through so much and will always do anything for each other.
Susan’s reminiscing is cut short by a scream outside. The girls look around, and quickly all except Bree is running outside. Susan assumes Bree wanted to clean up a bit before being nosy. It seemed the scream came from Mr. Palmer, who was nursing a wound on his arm over on Katherine’s lawn. MJ was nearby and started shouting to a man who was limping towards a cornered cat in the yard. “Hey mister, that’s not your cat!” Yelled MJ. The man turned around and immediately Susan started for MJ while yelling,
“MJ! Get away from that man!” But before MJ could react, the man takes a bite out of MJ’s shoulder and he falls to the ground. Susan runs towards her son but is halted by a sudden gunshot from behind her. She turns around to see Bree on her doorstep holding the gun, and she realizes Bree has shot the assailant in the head.
Susan is anxiously waiting in the hospital when her friends rush in to see her. “Oh my god Susan, is MJ okay?” Asked Lynette.
“I’m waiting for an update,” Susan then turns to Bree, “are you in trouble? What did the police say?”
“Well they’re not happy about the paperwork they’re gonna have to do, but once I explained they understood why it had to be done.” Something tells Susan that isn’t the full extent of Bree’s story, but she doesn’t care. Her baby is in the hospital. They all wait patiently with Susan while she awaits some news on the fate of her son. Eventually, Julie comes up and gives her mom a big hug.
“Mom, I’m so sorry I got mad at you!” Julie must have been stirring about this for a while. It’s hard times like this that remind you to not sweat the small stuff.
“It’s okay Julie, do you know anything about MJ?”
“He has a bit of a fever, but he’s just sleeping now. They’ve dressed the wound.” Susan feels a sigh of relief. She cannot believe that the insane news story she saw about people taking drugs and biting each other would end up on Wisteria Lane, let alone affecting her son, but she’s happy he’s okay.
“And what about Mr. Palmer?” Chimed in Porter, Lynette’s son and father of Julie’s baby. Susan didn’t even realize he was here.
“Same thing, but he’s awake. They bit him on the arm so it must’ve been less traumatic,” replied Julie. At the same time, a nurse comes over to Porter,
“Are you with MJ Delfino?”
“I’m his mother, can I see him?” Susan jumps up.
“Yes you can,” the nurse says.
“Mind if I go see him?” Says Roy Bender out of nowhere, “I feel bad..he was looking for my cat, it’s my fault.”
“Oh Roy, of course, you can see him, but it’s not your fault, I don’t want you to think that,” replies Susan, and Susan, Julie, and Roy head into MJ’s hospital room. Susan kneels next to MJ’s unconscious body in the hospital bed and starts to cry. Roy grabs MJ’s hand while Julie sits quietly in the chair. The doctor comes in and begins to say, “Don’t worry Mrs. Delfino, your son is gonna be just fine.” As if on cue, right after he says this, MJ’s EKG machine begins to flatline. Susan looks at the doctor desperately, who looks confused. He immediately begins to approach MJ and do some doctor work. Suddenly, MJ begins to stir and Susan feels a little relieved, although the EKG is still a flat beep. The doctor, who was administering chest compressions, relaxes a little, before MJ attacks and bites his arm.
“MJ!?” Exclaims Susan. Finished with the doctor’s arm, MJ turns to Susan and lunges before she is shoved by Roy, and his arm is attacked by MJ. Julie shuffles Susan out of the room as screams of agony are heard from Roy in the hospital room.