Chapter Text
Upon waking his mind was overwhelmed, almost too blank to comprehend that he had even fallen asleep in the first place. Trying to remember what happened the last time he was awake, it was rare enough that he even got sick at all. It’s been so long since he was knocked out of his element like this, on top of it; Newt was broken, it was sad in that way how he always knew it, but he didn’t have a way to fix it. It showed in the way he always ran into danger without a care towards himself, or how he is focused on protecting others, even at the expense of himself. Other’s, how is it that they never noticed that they are slowly killing him? He felt used, sick, tired; he can’t just drop everything like this just because he was feeling a little under the weather.
Newt against his better judgement often found himself entertaining, wondering what would have happened, if he had chosen to grab the man’s hand and apparate away. Newt did understand that he would have been caged instead. However, maybe that would have been preferable to the self created prison residing in his mind. It hurts him fundamentally every time he lets his thoughts drift to the cruel punishments within the American prison and how it was all his fault that the man was captured even if his own life had been in danger at the time. Sighing he tried not to let his thoughts linger once again on the rumors and the unsavory information Theseus leaked to Newt in the form of bland reassurance. Promising Grindelwald would never mess with him again, he wouldn’t dare, knowing what he had waiting at the prison for him. It was illegal to use any type of excessive force like this, torture, no matter how regulated is against the laws that have been in place.
Honestly, Theseus was so full of himself, he never knew; he never did and while Newt knew on some level Theseus was trying to encourage Newt to be his best. What is his best self though? Who had the right to judge what was best for him? Why would Newt need to be the best version of himself, no, that’s the wrong phrasing, why should Newt reimagine himself to please his brother; or for that matter anyone else. Theseus never really gave a damn about Newt, only caring about his own image and how Newt effected that image, how is it his own brother was so selfish that he couldn’t see that he was slowly killing Newt mentally.
Newt had a love, hate relationship with himself, he really should let go of Grindelwald and live his own life, but he couldn’t let the man go. Even now, all Newt’s thoughts loop back to the Dark being, no matter what he is thinking about. At the end of the day, or beginning of the day for him, it didn’t matter, no amount of worrying over the Dark lord could set him free. What he wouldn’t give to free that wizard. The thought leaving a wistful expression on Newts face.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, long forgotten fevered memories were trying to fight to the surface, the harder he tried to remember the last 24 hours the worse his headache would get. For some reason, his mind kept supplying that he had nothing to worry about on that front. That a different battle was brewing, one that had nothing to do with anyone being caged and more about defeating monsters and moving forward.
With a stretch and a sniffle he sat up with a cold hand resting against his forehead, trying to stave off the dizziness he was currently feeling. He had to feed his creatures, he couldn’t remember the last time he had done so. Really, he couldn’t remember much of anything. Newt stood up slowly, but the careful regard he gave himself wasn’t enough and Newt’s legs immediately collapsed out from under him and he fell to the floor with a groan. This is how today was going to go apparently, lovely.
Newt let the tears finally fall, nothing was going right, why couldn’t the universe just let him be okay? What is with all the punishment as of late, he understood that what he had done to Grindelwald was wrong, but no one gave him a choice before they carted him away. No one ever gives him a choice, they have always taken it upon themselves to decide what is best for him. No one really knows what’s going on inside his head, no one really cares what’s effecting him; no one knows about the new type of poison running through his veins, he doesn’t know if it’s even possible to fight it. A part of him acknowledged that Grindelwald held the antidote and the poison both, but there was little he could do to help himself in this situation, given he had no way of getting to the man to even attempt to get his forgiveness so Newt could heal.
Newt started a little at the sound of his home’s floor boards creaking towards his direction, he looked up into the mirror connected to his vanity and flashed himself a beaming fake smile. Theseus, Newt knew he could do without his brother’s interference, he always exploits Newts weaknesses, inside he wondered if knocking Newt down and caging him made Theseus feel better. Fight or flight, immediately entered his mind, but the choice wasn’t ever his.
Newt sighed sadly when he thought of his situation and how he went against everything he was and what he stood for by placing someone in a cage, when he has always fought against his own cage that his peers and family keep trying to place him in. Like Grindelwald, he was always fighting or playing into the game others start, but one day someone is going to find Newt’s own target on their back. He refuses to live the life that other’s have chosen for him, the only exception would be his very own soulmate’s intervention in his ever so nomadic lifestyle, he had made a vow, once he met that person he would play the game beside them; a game he doesn’t intend to lose.
The door opened softly and a sigh passed the lips of who had walked in to his room. Feeling off over the intrusion, knowing it obviously wasn’t Theseus based on the knowing lack of colorful expletives and nay saying, nagging, that usually comes with his holier than though brother. Looking up cautiously at the person and blinking slowly in bewilderment as the memories started to finally resurface in his muddled mind.
“Grindelwald?” The man stooped to offer Newt a hand. “But how, or, or why?” A curious feeling overtook Newt, the entirety of his awake time was filled with too much heat and the feeling of sickness. He never thought the feeling of having a bucket of cold water dumped on him would bring him such elation. It was like Grindelwald came into Newt’s room and dumped a ice bucket on him, like he had stayed in a sauna too long and fell asleep, but someone decided to come and save him before he accidentally died to overheating. Though, the heat wasn’t just surface, it couldn’t be, given how it suddenly stopped the moment the man walked into the room.
Even his soul mark stopped trying to burn him inside out.
Newt was concerned though, what did this mean, how did he fix it. He didn’t really want to keep the man prisoner to himself while he figured it out, he also didn’t necessarily believe he could do so. He looked up at the man and took the offered hand, the contact was enough to help him breathe a little easier and allow the rest of the memories to filter in. “You are my soulmate, I am safe with you, but you, you aren’t safe here. You really need to leave its not safe for you here. Theseus, is a British Auror who doesn’t care about how anything effects anyone else as long as it promotes his own personal growth. He would condemn us both if it meant any type of positive recognition.”
What Newt didn’t say was how Theseus was like a child searching for his father’s approval, his father being the British Ministry of Magic.
Newt was proud of himself, there were truly no more monsters and he could finally breathe again, that was until Grindelwald lost himself for a moment and graced Newt with a small smile. Mayhaps, he was a type of Muggle demon, a devil, given how charming the man could be. “ I would like to see them try to imprison you or take you from me, there are some things one should never do, these are two of those things. You are at your most beautiful when you are free, roaming the world with your crew of beasts; releasing even the most violent of beings with a smile and a wave. I swear upon my magic, you will never be imprisoned by the likes of them; you will always be free to be yourself while I am breathing.”
Newt at first was stunned into silence, until a thought occurred to him making him giggle and shudder. The Dark lord’s eyes glittered with curiosity and fondness, “what has you in a this sudden fit of giggles little one?”
Newt gasped at such a strange nickname from the stoic wizard, “ what, what if you were turned into a vampire? You wouldn’t breathe anymore, then what?” The Dark Lord’s smile grew more predatory, so his little one instantly poked holes in his promise; he always knew his little mate would be intelligent and resourceful, mentally he thanked lady magic for the gift of Newt into his life. No one would ever, for any reason, be able to take his little one from him, as long as he should live.
“Newt! I am coming through, back up from the floo!” The deer in headlights look Newt extended to Grindelwald was enough to make the Dsrk Lord’s hackles raise in defense of his sick little mate. How dare this person cause such a disruption in his little one’s mental health, he would protect Newt.
“Hurry, either change your appearance or get us out of here. Theseus is on his way in, he won’t hesitate to cage us both.” Newt started shaking in Grindelwald’s arms, when did the man move to hold him like this? Not that anyone would ever find Newt with complaints, this is the best he felt in a while, the safest he has felt since he was free to roam.
Finally, Newt had a place where he belonged, he could put all his thoughts to bed; his eyes widened at his own thoughts, maybe taking some thoughts to bed should wait? With a blush that had the Grindelwald cocking his head to the side with a smirk on his face, Newt turned his head away to look towards the now closed door in worry. When had Grindelwald closed the door, Newt didn’t remember him doing so. Now was simply not the time for these other less innocuous thoughts, when they were in danger.
Newt had spent all his time seeing the world in a glass half empty way; now its half full and a wizard he never thought could care about another was showing him how to fill it up with positivity. How strange his world has become, so unpredictable from the normal mundane world he lived in. If you can call working with some of the most dangerous creatures in the world mundane.
“Do you trust me?” This brought a whisper of a memory to the surface for Newt, “hurry now, little one, do you trust me?”
Newt nodded, unable to voice his thoughts as his door slammed open to see Theseus’ eyes widen at just who was holding his wayward younger sibling. The last thing he heard was a screamed “ARTEMISS!!!” As they apparated away from their volatile British captor.
A single thought played in his mind, glass half empty, glass half full, well either way he won’t be going thirsty.