Work Text:
4th of the Great Tree Moon, Imperial Year 1181
Dearest,
Hopefully, this letter finds you in good health and you’ve managed to safely return home. It’s a shame that we had to separate so soon after our engagement, but what else could we do with the war steadily approaching? Be careful over there. We just received word of forces marching onwards past the borders of your territory. I know you’re a capable woman, but it still worries me endlessly that I’m not there for you.
Of course, time is still of the essence. I can’t help but daydream of when we’ll marry. Several times, the servants have told me I don’t act like a man about to go to war. Some have said I walk around in a daze with a giddy smile. But the faster the war ends, the sooner our wedding is. Should the ceremony be at your estate or mine? We should plan for the peak of summer if we expect our friends to travel all the way here north. Summer is only a couple moons away now. Am I being too hasty? That reminds me. My father was furious when he found out I proposed to you. Turns out, he had been making arrangements to wed me off to some other noblewoman. I couldn’t care less if he ends up disowning me, but I guess being the crest bearing son came in handy for once.
Keep in touch. I want to hear about how things are going over there for you, if you’re safe, what you do in your day to day... And let me know what you think about wedding planning. You’ll tell me off if I’m stupid for planning a wedding while we’re at war, right?
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
7th of the Harpstring Moon, Imperial Year 1181
Dearest,
Your letter found its way to me just yesterday. By the time this reaches you, I hope you’re still safe too. The messenger boy kept apologizing for taking such a long time delivering the correspondence, but he told me how it was getting more and more dangerous for him to take the main roads through Faerghus. It concerns me how risky it is just for you to be out and about now. If I show up at your door one day to be your bodyguard, will you kick me out? Just kidding, I won’t. But if I do, please don’t kick me out. That would make me sad.
I was definitely being too hasty about wedding planning, wasn’t I? I could practically feel the furrow of your eyebrows through your letter. Don’t look at my letter like that; I can imagine your exact deadpan expression. Alright, I concede. For now. But I still want you to at least think about it. Pick a season for it, and then we can talk more after the end of war is in sight.
Speaking of seasons, the spring for you is warming up already, isn’t it? The weather is still brutal where I am. I’m watching snow pile up on my window panes as I’m writing this. It feels so cold and lonely, separated all this great distance without you. I’m used to the cold, but summer is just around the corner and I can’t wait for the temperature to warm up a little. Maybe you can visit me once it’s safer to travel. There’s not much interesting flora around here, but you always manage to find something to appreciate.
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
1st of the Blue Sea Moon, Imperial Year 1181
Dearest,
Nothing happened to you, right? No injuries, illness, or anything like that? I sent a letter dated the 2nd of the Garland Moon but haven’t heard anything back yet, so I’m writing this one just in case. I hope nothing happened to the messenger boy either... Even though you might disagree, I’m not selfish enough to send someone into the face of danger just to deliver you my letters. If it comes down to it, I could always deliver myself to your doorstep and bypass having a messenger entirely. You would scold me for being so reckless, but I think it would be worth it.
It seems I’ve already forgotten what matters I addressed in the supposedly missing letter. Since it’s warmed up, I bet lots of plants around you are thriving right now. Tell me about your favorites. Of course, I already know all of them, but you get so lovely whenever you’re talking about your beloved flowers. It’s extremely endearing and if I were a lesser man I’d probably be jealous of the flowers you adore. But I love the way you talk about your flowers and all, so tell me about it again.
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
17th of the Horsebow Moon, Imperial Year 1181
Dearest,
I’m sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve had the time to write a response to your last letter. You’ve probably heard, but my father has started to let me handle some of his duties. Of course, “let me handle” is just a euphemism for dumping work on me. Although, I suppose it isn’t as bad when I think of it as preparation for succeeding him. I never cared much about being a Gautier so I always took the work in stride, but lately I’ve been thinking maybe I could do more for the people in this territory during the time I’m in power.
I imagine you have lots of duties to attend to as well. I heard about the Imperial raid that pressed on the border. Don’t feel bad that you couldn’t evacuate all the residents in time. It came out of nowhere, and knowing you, I’m sure you gave it your all. From now on, just think of what you could do for the survivors. Without a doubt, they’re grateful for the assistance from your family. You would make me snap out of it if I were moping, so I’m just doing the same to you.
If you ever need help, send for me and I’ll be there. Resources aren’t exactly plentiful here at the moment, and I still don’t care much about the politics of it all, but whatever you need, I’ll get it there for you.
I take it you don’t exactly have much free time on your hands lately, but have you stopped outside to look at the autumn foliage yet? It reminds me that around this time of the year, we would usually be out in town to enjoy the harvest. That only motivates me to get this war over with so we could go back to those days.
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
21st of the Lone Moon, Imperial Year 1181
Dearest,
Sending a letter through the Faerghus winter is near impossible. I hope you won’t be too angry about my unintentional silence. By the time this letter gets to you, it will have been over a year since we last saw each other. I miss it. I miss my time with you, and with our classmates at the academy, when we didn’t have to waste away concerning ourselves in this prolonged war. But, I guess that’s ultimately the price we pay for a stronger future. Things in Faerghus aren’t looking too good. Fhirdiad is in a tizzy, and Dimitri is... not much better than when we last saw him. Imperial forces have slowly been making their way through the west and gathering support. It takes a lot just to rearrange ourselves to fight on both the western and southern front. Last I heard, the Alliance isn’t doing well either, huh? You’ve got the war and some crazy internal politics going on. It looks like the end is still a bit far off to be dreaming about right now.
Despite that, it’s been over a year now, so I’m going to start bothering you about it again. Have you thought about a season to plan our wedding for? I wouldn’t mind rushing to have it done this summer. I want the perfect wedding for you, but the anticipation is making me impatient. Plus, we could get all your favorite flowers and plants arranged since they all bloom through the summer. It gets a bit too hot for my liking, but anything is bearable for you. I’m sure it probably feels mild compared to where you are, but when you’re used to the cold like me it takes a huge toll to even function through the warmth.
You’re going to be the prettiest bride. I’m swooning just from the thought of it. I’ll even weave you a flower crown, just like how you taught me when we first met. I can’t wait for the day to come.
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
14th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Imperial Year 1182
Dearest,
I know this letter will never reach you, but entertain me just this one last time. Please.
Two weeks ago, the messenger boy came to deliver the invitation to your wake. He seemed anxious, and ran off as soon as he handed it to me. I couldn’t think. I went through the motions, and sometimes I stared at that awful piece of parchment I left on the corner of my desk. It must have been a joke. A cruel joke.
It really hit me yesterday. The war goes on, but you’re already gone. The permanence of it has yet to sink in, but what I do know is it’s cold without you. We’ve been apart for a year, but knowing that I’d make my way back to you kept me going through it. Now, the war took from me the future I was fighting so hard for. I’m at a loss. I’m not sure what to do now. You’ve always been the stronger one of us two.
It crossed my mind, but I won’t say that I want to join you. I have a feeling you’ll haunt me if I even attempted to do so. But I don’t think I’ll ever move on, no matter how much your ghost insists on me to.
The heatwave I told you about passed. The rainy season is incessant now, so there’s flowers and trees I’m sure you would appreciate far more than I could. Too many things remind me of you. I can’t move on.
Yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier
26th of the Wyvern Moon, Imperial Year 1190
Dearest,
You once told me that the human body replaces the entirety of its cells every eight years, give or take. When you told me that, I was so happy. It made me think that with every passing day, I’m a bit different than the day before; a bit wiser, better, changed.
Now, I can’t help but think... is my body now still the same one that held you eight years ago, before war took you from me? I like to pretend that I’ve moved on, otherwise Dimitri and the others, even Felix, worry for me, but how can I do that knowing my body has forgotten you? I still wear our engagement ring. But it scares me. I can barely even remember what you looked like.
Still yours,
Sylvain Jose Gautier