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The first time he realizes it, Bakugou almost blows his damn bedroom up. It's one of the rare weekends where he's at home, instead of being at the UA dorms and as embarrassing as it is to admit it, he misses his classmates.
Specifically, he misses a certain redhead who won't stop texting him. Kirishima is well.... Kirishima. The same Kirishima with his stupid red hair and even stupider red eyes that never seem to leave Bakugou alone.
He misses the way Kirishima rakes his eyes over Bakugou, as if he can see into his soul. He misses the way his heart pounds around the red haired boy. His brain short circuits as he stares at his ceiling, his heart racing as he takes in his own words.
"Fuck." He mumbles to himself. "I like him, don't I?" Bakugou has known that he's not strictly straight for years, but this.... the realization that he has a crush? It's almost overwhelming. He sighs, wiping his palms onto his green sweatpants, wincing at how much sweat and nitroglycerin came off of his hands. He was definitely going to have to neutralize his clothes now.
“KATSUKI?” His mom’s loud voice brought him out of his head. He rolled his eyes as he sat up, and stomped his way down the hallway and down the stairs until he was in the dining room. “What Hag?” He grumbled, as he made his way into the kitchen.
His mom raised an eyebrow at him. “Just wanted to see if you want to eat today. No need to have an attitude.” Bakugou snorts, before sitting down at the kitchen island.
“Hey mom?” He starts before shaking his head. “Nevermind.”
His mom looks at him before going back to slicing the carrots for her stew. Bakugou watches her for a long moment before shaking his head. "Call me when you're done." He grumbles before stomping out of the kitchen.
He can ignore this. It's just a stupid crush. It can't be that hard to do, right?
#
Okay. So that was a complete and utter fucking lie. Ignoring his feelings is like trying to hold back an explosion - impossible. In all honesty, Bakugou wasn't even sure why he thought it would be easy. God, he’s such a dumbass.
Kirishima is the same as always, excitable like a fucking puppy or some shit, with a grin that makes Bakugou’s knees weak and this energy around him that’s just-indescribable. It drives Bakugou absolutely fucking insane.
Which of course, makes it even harder to ignore said crush. Especially when he spends almost every day around him. Kiri’s loud voice booms through the hallway like always and all Bakugou wants to do is kiss him. But he can’t, so instead he settles for helping him with homework and spending time with him and hoping to god that things will get easier.
Somehow he has a feeling that it won’t.
#
Unsurprisingly, Bakugou finds a way to fuck it all up. Because of course he fucking does. Class starts early that morning, at almost 6 in the damn morning so everyone is irritated, but in particular Bakugou is. He wasn’t able to sleep almost all night, and when he finally did fall asleep, his neck ended cramping while he was asleep, so now it hurts like a motherfucking bitch.
So yeah, he’s in a bad mood today. When is he not in a bad mood, is the real question. Kiri on the other hand doesn’t look affected by the early start time at all. He’s grinning and joking with Denki - the only other person awake enough to joke with him at this time, and that steaming pit of jealousy that arises whenever he sees Kirishima laugh like that with anyone but him rears its ugly head.
Kirishima isn’t his. He probably never will be. He’s not anyone’s. And yet, a part of Bakugou wants to scream. Wants to storm over there and grab him by the face, to smash their lips over each other, and wind his fingers into that obnoxious dye job, and kiss the everloving shit out of him.
But he can’t. So instead, he stomps over near them. “Shut up nerds.” He grumbles under his breath as he glares at Denki, and ignores Kirishima’s confused look.
The rest of the day goes by as slow as tōmitsu, and by the time he finally gets to go back to the dorms, he’s exhausted to the bone, so when Kirishima walks up to him and starts chatting animatedly, it takes everything in him to not detonate the explosion already forming in his hand.
“Dude, it was so fucking cool. Denki said it looked like one of those American war movies, where they have the big explosion and then you see all the rubble and the destruction caused and-” Bakugou rolls his eyes, ignoring the way the redhead stopped in his tracks.
“What?” He grumbles as he continues, Kiri following behind him as he rambles.
“Are we fighting or something? Because you’ve been really weird all day, and I don’t know why. Denki said you seemed jealous but-”
“Why don’t you go ask your fucking boyfriend huh?” Bakugou growls, crossing his arms over his chest. They’re stopped in the hallway in front of their rooms, and Kirishima looks hurt at his harsh words. Bakugou looks away in shame.
“What?” Kirishima asks, and Bakugou sneers. “You heard me. Go ask fucking Denki if I’m jealous, since all you seem to care about is sucking his dick these days.”
Kirishima gapes at him before shaking his head, his fists hardening. “Y’know what, whatever.”
Before Bakugou can say anything else or even take his words back, Kiri opens his dorm room door and slams it closed, leaving Bakugou in the hallway all alone.
Fuck, he thinks to himslf as he stands there. I really fucked it up this time.
#
They don’t talk for days afterwards, and the feeling of loneliness, of missing someone who was once the other half of Bakugou’s soul hurts. It aches, like an old scab getting picked at over and over again.
Especially when he sees Kirishima holding hands with Denki, the other blonde’s varsity jacket pulled around Kiri’s body, holding him in a way that Bakugou never will.
In short, it sucks. Truthfully, it makes him want to sob hysterically and curl up with one of his romance mangas. But he can’t, he has shit to do, and more importantly (and maybe a little bit selfishly) an image to keep up.
So he sucks his feelings up and pretends as if it isn’t breaking his heart. At least until Mina and Ochako storm into his room after classes.
“Alright enough is enough.” The pink skinned girl says, and Bakugou stares at her in confusion as Ochako pushes him into his room.
“Enough is what nerd?” He asks, because honestly, he’s never been more confused in his life. Mina rolls her eyes and before he can stop either of them, they push him onto his bed, and Mina grabs his grey duvet and wraps it around his shoulders.
“Heartbreak sucks Katsuki, but you need to mope.” Ochako says and all Bakugou can think is, what the fuck is going on?
His question is answered by Mina. “We know that you and Kiri broke up or something, and I get it, it hurts like hell, but you need to mope and let it out before it eats you alive or you blow up the entire damn school.”
And well…. Bakugou doesn’t know what to say to that truthfully. Because what the actual fuck?
Ochako rolls her eyes at him before placing a gentle hand on his leg, and when the hell did she sit down next to him?
“Being heartbroken sucks. But keeping it inside is gonna make it hurt a lot more. Trust me.”
And oh.
Bakugou suddenly remembers that she likes Deku. Shitty fucking Deku who is in a love sickening relationship with Todoroki.
“I’m sorry.” He grunts and Ochako looks at him in surprise before nodding. She motions for him to speak and Bakugou groans before complying. “I like him. But he doesn’t like me back. We’re not dating guys. He’s dating Denki.”
It’s silent for a moment before Mina bursts out laughing, and immediately, Bakugou feels ashamed.
She notices this and begins backtracking. “I’m so sorry, I’m not laughing at you I swear, it’s just that Kiri’s not dating Denki. He’s dating you, you moron.”
And all Bakugou can think, is what the fuck? He stares at her for a moment before speaking. “What?” He asks, and he looks at Ochako, who has a small grin forming on her face.
“Dude, Kiri’s like ass over heels in love with you. Has been since like Kamino dude.”
Oh. Oh.
His face is burning and he can feel it. That was 4 years ago. Holy shit.
Mina giggles and he realizes that he must have said that out loud by the way that Ochako grins even wider. “He loves me?” He finds himself asking, in a voice much smaller and vulnerable than he’ll ever admit to.
Ochako nods vigorously, and Bakugou finds himself smiling softly.
“Huh.” He says out loud.
Mina grins at him. “Go get your man, dumbass.” He rolls his eyes at both girls, before shooing them out of his room, and staring at his wall for a long moment before he stands up, hands shaking and letting off small explosions.
He takes a deep breath before storming out of his room, down the hallway, and into the common room, where almost everyone is gathered for their weekly movie night.
Kirishima is sitting in the middle, and if Bakugou felt like shit, Kirishima definitely looks like it. His hair is down instead of its usual spikes, and the bags under his eyes look darker than ever, and he has a frown on his face that makes Bakugou’s heart ache.
“Oi. Shitty hair.” Kirishima looks up at him and its so earnest, and fuck, this is going to be so embarrasing. Mina gives him a thumbs up from beside Denki and Jirou who both look equally smug.
Bakugou sighs, before speaking to Kiri.“ Gotta talk to you dumbass.” When Kirishima doesn’t move, he speaks again. “In private, idiot.”
Kirishima pauses before getting up, his fists tucked into his oversized red hoodie, as he walks over to Bakugou. Without thinking, the blonde grabs his hand, and storms back out of the common room, before leading him down the hallway into his own dorm room.
“I was an asshole.” Bakugou mutters as soon as the door closes. Kirishima raises an eyebrow as if to say, really? Bakugou rolls his eyes before continuing. “I was an asshole and it’s because I was jealous, and I shouldn’t have even been jealous, because at the end of the day, you aren’t fucking mine, but round cheeks and racoon eyes said you’re in love with me or some shit and maybe I am too, so…”
And Kirishima is just standing there. Staring at Bakugou. As if the blonde hasn’t just confessed his feelings to him.
“What?” He asks, and Bakugou glares at him. “I’m in love with you, hair-for-brains. Is your hearing as bad as your communication skills?”
Kirishima stares at him for a moment before taking a step forward.
His fingers grab Bakugou’s palm, and suddenly he’s placing Kiri’s hand into Bakugou’s and Bakugou freezes. What the fuck?
Kiri looks at him with that earnest look again, and oh.
Oh.
Kiri smiles at him softly and all Bakugou wants to do is kiss him. Like really badly. Kirishima rubs his thumbs against the side of Bakugou’s palms, letting the small explosions fire away at him.
Bakugou blushes. “Can I kiss you?” Kirishima looks at him, wide eyes before he nods, timidly.
Bakugou leans in, prying his hand from Kiri’s grasp, sliding his thumb under Kiri’s chin, and the rest of his fingers splaying against his cheek. Their lips connect, Bakugou’s rougher chapped ones against Kirishima’s surprisingly softer ones.
Kirishima smells like cinnamon and something else that Bakugou can’t exactly identify.
They break apart, and they are both smiling, Bakugou’s looking more like a smirk than a genuine smile, but Kiri is all grins and shark-like teeth. They look at each other for a long moment, eyes meeting in the hushed silence.
Kiri grabs Bakugou’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “Wanna go finish the movie with me?” His eyes are pleading, and maybe it’s a testament to how much Bakugou is truly in love with this boy, that he agrees.
They walk down the hallway and back into the common room, hands intertwined and cheeks flushed.
“FUCK!” They jump apart at the sound of Denki’s loud voice as he stares at them. Jirou smirks at him, before holding out her hand. “You owe me $40 asshole!” Denki groans and the others all roll their eyes.
Mina grins at them. “Told you Bakugou. Never doubt me about love.” Sero snorts, and Bakugou could feel his cheeks flaring up even more.
“Can I die already?” Kirishima moans, his face bright red. Bakugou smirks, before grabbing Kiri’s chin and pulling him into a deep kiss, ignoring the oohing and aahing of their classmates, as well as Ochako’s giggles.
He slides his fingers into Kirishima’s hair, pushing it back from his forehead as they break apart.
“You signed up for this.” He mumbles, and Kiri grins at him. “Yeah. I did.”