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The Fragile Substance of Your Soul

Summary:

“I think the two of you have a soul bond.”

Molly and Yasha both looked at each other. Yasha didn’t know what that term meant, and by Molly’s confused shrug he didn’t either.

“I can tell by your expressions that I’m gonna have to explain,” Orna said dryly.

------

When a soul bond forms naturally between Yasha and Molly, they decide to keep it. It stays with them through more than they could have imagined.

Notes:

Circus Kids week day five - soulmates.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It took a few times of it happening for them to realize what was going on.

The first had been on a day of Molly trying out high rise tricks in the tent before a show. Yasha had felt a swoop of fear in her stomach and before she even knew what was going on she’d been moving, running and catching Molly from a fall. There’d been a couple terrified heartbeats, thinking about of how badly that could have gone, before the two of them had dissolved into nervous laughter and Molly cracking a joke that Yasha should be with him for every practice. It was only later on, when others who’d been there started talking to each other, that they realized Yasha had started to move at the exact moment that Molly had slipped - and that she hadn’t even been looking at him when she did.

This incident was one of the more noticeable ones, but the others were still strange. Molly started to get a knack for knowing when Yasha was going to be back, and would always be on the correct side of camp when she came in. More than once Yasha was able to shake Molly awake from a nightmare before it’d even gotten bad. The tipping point, however, and what made them realize that they should probably figure this out, was when Molly had stopped dead while washing dishes one day, suddenly bolting away with the others shouting after him. Very quickly they’d had other things to worry about as Yasha was driven back into camp while fighting some bandits, Molly now right beside her, but afterwards everyone had realized Molly had gone to Yasha before the general alarm had even been raised.

Orna was the one who ended up explaining it to them, sitting them both down in her tent with basic drinks.

“I think the two of you have a soul bond.”

Molly and Yasha both looked at each other. Yasha didn’t know what that term meant, and by Molly’s confused shrug he didn’t either.

“I can tell by your expressions that I’m gonna have to explain,” Orna said dryly. She took a sip of her drink. “The basic gist of a soul bond is you have a general ‘sense’ of another person. Emotions, location, well being, that sort of thing. It’s nowhere near exact and the strength of each part can vary, but it’s the closest match to what you two have going on.”

Molly made a thoughtful noise. “Do you know why we’d have it?”

“Nope,” Orna said, refilling Molly’s drink when he held out his cup. “It’s just a thing that happens sometimes. Some people think it pops up cause of people caring for each other, but no one knows for sure.”

A sinking feeling settled into Yasha’s chest. “Does... does that mean, if I don’t have a soul bond with someone, that...”

No.” Orna's voice was firm, and she looked Yasha directly in the eye. “If anyone tries to tell you that, they’re full of shit. And if it was supposed to be a ‘sign’ that you ‘actually’ care about someone, it wouldn’t also be a spell that most clerics in a local temple can do.” She went ahead and drained her cup, setting it by her side. “Some people who get married like to establish one, but it’s definitely not everyone. I’ve also heard of some more practical uses, such as a bodyguard setting it up with a client to keep better track of them during a job, and having the cleric dissolve it when they’re done. And yeah,” she said, gesturing between the two of them. “You don’t have to keep it if you don’t want to. But that’s all up to you.”

There was a long pause as the two of them mulled it over, Molly finishing his second drink and Yasha staring into hers. Between them was the faint sense of each other’s emotions - apprehension, curiosity, care, but most of all, the knowledge that whatever they decided, their care for each other wouldn’t change.

Molly looked at Yasha. “I’m okay keeping it if you are.”

She nodded. “I am.”

“Alright, glad that’s settled,” Orna said, brushing her hands off and standing up to gather drinks. “Now get out of my tent.”

***

Molly fought back the urge to puke as he looked at the dried blood in the dirt, almost jittery with nervous energy. His nightmares last night had been awful, and from the first moment he’d woken up he’d felt out of it, but this? Fjord, Jester, and Yasha being taken in the middle of the night, and him being none the wiser, just sleeping right through it? It shouldn’t have happened. It-

He suddenly remembered what one of his nightmares had actually been about. Rage. Fear. Defiance. Fighting, struggling, screaming in silence, followed by sudden darkness, the muffling of all of his senses. Fucking shit. That hadn’t just been a nightmare.

Seeing someone approaching down the road Molly drew his swords and stalked that direction, determined. They would get them back. He clung tight to his soul bond with Yasha, sending all the love and determination he could, letting her know that he was coming.

They would get them back.

***

He didn’t make it.

***

Yasha’s soul bond with Molly had gone cold with his death, and it stayed quiet the first time they met Lucien.

She watched as he took the four leaf clover, listened to his words about fragments and souls and death, and there was nothing. Part of her whispered that it was because of the resurrection, that things had been broken and needed to be rebuilt, but the rest of her knew the simple answer was more likely - that this wasn’t Molly. They were looking at the face of a friend, and he was gone.

They continued with their travels through Eiselcross, with their race against the Tomb Takers, and Yasha would have kept that assumption if it hadn’t been for Jester’s tarot reading.

Jester went off to the side to give the reading, Yasha still not trusting Lucien but curious as to how he’d react to Molly’s cards. At first, there seemed to be no real reaction one way or the other. But then Jester had read the third card, and Yasha felt-

Something.

It was only for a moment, barely there and gone as soon as it came, but she still felt as if she’d been struck in the solar plexus and she blinked rapidly, head whipping around to stare at Lucien. The feeling stayed gone but it was enough to rekindle something Yasha hadn’t felt about the situation in a long time.

Hope.

Hope that burned brighter when they faced Lucien at the Immensus Gate, and the feeling returned again, still small but stronger than before, like something trying to wake up. A feeling that Yasha clung to, sent love and affection to as they followed Lucien and Cree into the Astral Sea, that stirred even more when they started throwing familiar words and phrases at a newly emerged Lucien. That finally came full awake during the battle that immediately followed.

Molly. It was Molly!

He was there, he was there, oh gods, he was trapped in there, straining, screaming, struggling, working to fight alongside them. Yasha outright slammed her rage, her determination, her love down the soul bond to him, doing everything she could to let him know that she was there, that they were fighting for him too.

They fought, they fell, until, finally, Jester sent one last guiding bolt, laced with her own pointed words. And when the bolt struck home, tore into Lucien, Yasha felt a vindictive, furious determination coming through, Lucien’s own hands reaching up, tearing the body in half, and.

Silence. Emptiness.

Lucien was finally defeated. And Molly was gone.

Caleb was brought back, and Yasha shared a kiss with Beau, relieved that Beau was alive and adrenaline leaving her system, but the silence of the soul bond still echoed in her mind. The two them turned to face Lucien. The body.

They worked to pull the body away from the city together, Beau cutting with a dagger and Yasha ripping with her bare hands until her fingers bled. Brought him to Caleb. Helped perform the resurrection ritual. Her heart beat in her chest, watching the magic rise-

And the ritual failed.

Yasha felt like her heart was caving in. That. That couldn’t be it. He’d been there, right there, and she’d lost him all over again?

“There’s nothing else to do? Caleb?” Her voice cracked, unable to stop her tears.

“I tried,” Caleb whispered.

She sniffed loudly, voice still thick. “Well, we can’t leave him here.”

“No,” said Caduceus.

The rest of them started to talk about Molly and Yasha felt herself going numb, simply listening to the conversation. Someday, she knew, she would move forward again. But it all felt so impossibly far away in that moment.

When she saw the first plants and flowers start to grow around the body, she froze. She watched as the plants enclosed the body, barely daring to breathe. The plants pulled away.

And the soul bond surged to life.

Yasha gasped, laughter joining her tears as Molly surged upwards, alive, alive, and she was nearly shaking with the sudden change in her emotions. She felt his confusion through the bond, scared and oh so lost, and she sent as much love and comfort as she could muster through the bond, walking to him.

“Molly?”

He stopped, head starting to search for the sound.

“Mollymauk Tealeaf.”

With her second time speaking he turned around and faced her, confusion still buzzing slightly along the soul bond. “Empty.”

Yasha shook her head. “No.” Sent more fondness his way, felt something shift as he looked at her.

“Love.”

Oh.

“Love,” he said a second time, more sure, now sending that feeling her way as well.

She watched, her heart full, as he found and recognized the rest of their friends, each of them given their one word title. Shortly after that he went and lied down, overwhelmed. She didn’t blame him for that in the least.

While Jester painted him new clothes, Yasha went ahead and approached Molly again.

“I’m Yasha,” she said, placing a hand on her chest.

“Love,” he said again, and he gave her a tight hug, which Yasha returned with all her heart. Eventually she pulled back a little, so she could continue to talk.

“I look a little different, but everything else is still kind of the same. Except,” she said, dropping her voice to a stage whisper for the last part, “I fell in love.”

Beau came forward. “Beauregard,” she said, raising her hand, and Yasha laughed a little when Molly scrunched up his face. She looked forward to seeing how Beau and Molly’s odd friendship would continue to grow, now they had the time to properly continue it.

More talk was made, more happiness, until all of them linked hands and finally returned to the Blooming Grove. It was a slow wind-down once they were there, exhausted and in dire need of the rest it offered them. Beau and Yasha spent some time watching over Molly during that wind-down, agreeing on their desire of wanting to do things right, to do right by him. He then surprised both by coming over with flowers, Yasha feeling his pleased contentment when he handed them over, his simple happiness when he wandered back off. She took a deep breath of the blooms. Beau and Yasha both agreed that tonight, they would stay outside with Molly, and just make sure that he would be okay.

The shock that ran down the soul bond the next morning, after she’d been awake for a bit, was a jolt and Yasha yelped at the same time that she heard Molly yell, and she rushed back outside to see what was going on. Soon enough, a conversation was happening, a BIG conversation with everyone there, and afterwards Yasha was left both reassured and uncertain. Mostly, however, it was something she had to take a lot of time to think about.

Mol- Kinglsey. Kingsley was healthy, and whole, and was able to talk again, but his memories were almost entirely gone. She’d been familiar, yes, and she’d still felt the soul bond between them, sending comfort his way, but he was also different. Starting anew. It wasn’t long before worry began to gnaw at Yasha. The soul bond between them, it was a huge comfort to her, but she also wondered if she’d somehow forced it on him. If he would have chosen differently if he’d be able to, with his new start. And forcing something on him was the last thing she wanted to do.

Later on, when Kingsley would stay with her on guard duty while Beau did her her interviews, Yasha finally decided it was something she needed to bring up.

“You don’t have to keep it you don’t want to, you know,” Yasha said. Kingsley gave her a confused look. Right. Context. “The soul bond, I mean. Jester and Caduceus have spell for ending it. If you don’t want it. But it’s totally up to you.”

“Oh. Huh.” He mulled it over for a long moment, tail tapping on the ground. “I’m not sure? Mostly just cause I don’t really know what it means yet.” He shrugged. “What about you?”

“I’m... I don’t know if it should be up to me,” Yasha said. Kingsley waited as she gathered her thoughts, and she let out a long sigh. “Molly and I, we chose to keep it, but, you didn’t get that. So I want to make sure you do get a choice. Does that make sense?”

He nodded. “I think so. And... thank you. For saying that.” He was silent for a few more moments. “I’m gonna keep thinking on it for now, but I’ll let you know.”

Yasha nodded in return. “Okay.”

And that was where the topic stayed while they were in the Blooming Grove. Yasha did her best to make sure Kingsley still had his privacy, avoiding deliberately pushing feelings through the bond, but general feelings and well being still came through, and Yasha didn’t turn Kingsley away whenever he sought her out. It was a little awkward at times, but also... quiet. And comfortable.

The decision finally came in Nicodranas. It was while the two them were just getting started on their way to being sloshed, laughter in their air and happy feelings bubbling along the soul bond. Kingsley’s red eyes sparkled in the city lights and he grinned.

“You know, I think I want to keep this soul bond thing going.”

Yasha’s heart did a little flip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah!” His tail flicked in the air behind him as he continued to grin. “I like it. And it’s nice to keep around some of the feelings you made sure were there for me when I woke up. I’m glad it was there. So here’s to the soul bond!” Kingsley raised his cup and then knocked back the rest of his drink in one go, slamming the cup on the table and giving himself a little shake. “Whoo! Another!”

Yasha laughed. “Here here!” she said, and knocked back her drink as well.

Later that night, as Kingsley was saying his farewells to stay with the ship, both of them shared a little nod. He needed time to find himself, but she also knew that he would come to her when he was ready. Not an ending, but a new start. And as she walked away, into the night with the rest of their friends, she felt the hum of their soul bond. Still there. Still comforting. And Yasha was content.

Notes:

This honestly ended up being more of a soul bond fic than a strict soulmates fic, but I had fun with the concept and I like how the general idea turned out in the end.

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