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I stared at the ‘Dear John’ letter for the hundredth time before tossing it across my Ready Room. Mark had moved on. I knew he would. I had not wanted to give up hope that he would wait for me. But now that he had, I felt my mental stability crashing down around me. Getting up, I left my Ready Room.
It was somewhere near the end of the Beta shift or the middle of the Gamma shift. I had lost track of time and I still pressed on to wonder about my ship. I remember a conversation with Lieutenant Torres on a late night stroll about the quiet hum of Voyager bringing her a sense of peace when she found herself troubled or couldn’t sleep. At the moment, I found myself focusing on the soft sounds of Voyager’s warp engines instead of replaying the words of the letter.
Coming across Holodeck two, I noticed a program was running and saw that it was Sandrine’s. My own curiosity got the better of me as I decided to stroll in. I normally avoided social interactions with my crew so they could relax without their superior looking over their shoulders, though there were occasions I let my hair down so they could see I wasn’t all pips and command principles. The program was mostly empty except for one lone occupant. She was the last person I would have expected to see running Tom Paris’ popular program.
“Ensign,” I said as I approached the bar, noticing she was crying as she drank. “Are you okay?”
“C-Captain!” Samantha Wildman stuttered just a little, swiping at her eyes. “Oh, sure, I’m fine,” she replied, trying to brush off the obvious emotion evident in her features.
“You’re not fine, Sam,” I said, taking a seat beside her, setting a hand on her arm. My own problems suddenly no longer mattered as I focused on the woman before me. Samantha and I had many conversations together and would frequently have lunch at least once a week. “What happened?”
“I got a letter from Greskrendtrek, a Dear John letter…” Samantha trailed off, taking another drink of whatever liquid was in her glass.
I turned to the woman at the bar and requested a drink for myself, “I received one from my fiancé as well,’ I revealed to her.
“You did?” She whipped her head up to look at me. “Oh, Kat, I’m sorry.”
I smiled at the use of her nickname for me. We had grown comfortable using shortened versions of each other’s names as our friendship grew. “I’m sorry too,” I said, meeting her gaze.
We both settled into drinking. She was already ahead of me by a few, but I noticed she paced herself now that I was sitting beside her. It was another twenty minutes of drinking before I suggested walking Sam back to her quarters. “You look as if you’re ready to fall off your stool,” I pointed out.
Together, we walked out of the Holodeck and made our way to her quarters. I had to hand it to Samantha. She was doing her best to walk steady and not lean on me or the nearest wall. However, she was failing miserably. I was supporting her weight as we walked. Thankfully, the corridor was empty. Once we reached her quarters, I used my override code and helped her inside after she tried and failed to enter her code.
What happened next, I would never have expected. Sam’s lips were suddenly against mine. I stood there, frozen, feeling ashamed that my body seemed to react to the kiss. I couldn’t help myself as I kissed her back. Our tongues began to engage in a needy dance. However, as quickly as the kiss started, it ended. I was left a little breathless.
“Oh! Captain!” Sam pulled away with a gasp, realizing what just happened. “I… I am so sorry…” she mumbled, pulling back from me, swaying a little. “Please forget that just happened… please… Captain...”
“Sam, shh, it’s okay,” I said, softly, reaching up to take her by the arms to steady her. I decided to ignore the use of my rank. “Consider it forgotten.” Silence fell between us.
I noticed Sam staring at me, and my brow furrowed a little, “Do you need some help?” I asked, curiously. “I can have the Doctor give something to help you.”
“No…” she whispered, still swaying as her hands moved to my hips, pulling me closer to her. “I… want to kiss you again...” she trailed off, still staring at me. Our lips came together in another kiss, slower, and deeper. I felt her hands reach to undo my uniform jacket and I immediately reached up to stop her.
“Samantha… you’ve had a lot to drink,” I said, softly, pulling away. I could not in good faith let anything happen while Samantha was inebriated. “Come on.” I led her towards her room and eased her to bed. She didn’t seem to protest as I helped her out of her jacket and boots. After making sure she was comfortable and had water, I sent the Doctor a message that the ensign would need a hypospray for a hangover in the morning and returned to my quarters.
Entering my quiet quarters, I leaned against the wall, letting out a shaky breath. The Dear John letter was the furthest thing from my mind. All I could think about was Samantha’s lips on mine. Going into my bedroom, I opted for a quick sonic shower and then got into bed, forgoing any clothes intent on taking care of myself. I was embarrassed the kiss with my subordinate had aroused me, but I was a woman with needs. After a satisfying orgasm, I fell asleep rather content, though Samatha made an appearance in my dream.
The next morning, I went straight to my Ready Room, letting Commander Chakotay handle the bridge. I was currently staring at a report with a cup of fresh coffee in hand when the chime to my Ready Room door sounded. “Come,” I called, not looking up.
Ensign Wildman walked into the Ready Room, “Good morning, Captain,” she said.
I lifted my head, resisting the urge to blush as I thought about the previous night. I don’t think the ensign would have appreciated knowing she had been a guest in my dream. “Morning, Ensign, are you feeling alright?”
“Oh, yes, the Doctor stopped by with a hypospray,” she replied. “Thank you for that, by the way.”
“You’re welcome. Would you like some coffee? Tea?”
“No, I just wanted to say thank you and...” she paused, “to apologize for last night.”
“There is nothing to apologize for, Sam,” I said, leaning back in my chair, looking at her as I sipped my coffee.
“I beg to differ, I kissed you.”
“Oh, I was there, and if I recall, I kissed you back. So, I really don’t think you need to apologize for anything.”
Sam stared and nodded, “You did… why?”
I didn’t have an answer to her question. I don’t know why I kissed her back. I shouldn’t have. “Why did you kiss me?”
“I wanted to,” Sam replied. “I still want to kiss you.” She admitted, walking around the workstation to where I sat.
I swallowed hard and looked up at her. I moved to stand up, clearing my throat, “I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Sam,” I said. “I am your Captain, your superior.”
“You’re also a very attractive woman, Kathryn. One that I have gotten to know very well over the last year and happen to like very much.”
I felt my stomach flutter, and my core throb between my legs, wondering when this woman had gotten under my skin. Had I developed feelings for her unknowingly over the last year? Aside from Chakotay, she was the only other person I allowed myself to get close to. The kisses we shared the previous night definitely had an effect on me. “I like you too, Sam,” I said.
Apparently, those words were all the encouragement Samantha Wildman needed because the next thing I knew, her arms were wrapped around me and our lips were locked in a kiss. “Would you care to have dinner tonight?” She asked me with a smile.
I smiled, kissing her softly, “Yes, come to my quarters at 1900.”
“It’s a date,” she winked, kissing me again before leaving the Ready Room. I watched her go and took a seat, wondering what I was getting myself into. The Dear John letters we both received had been indeed forgotten.
-Done