Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

And if my wishes came true,
It would’ve been you,
In my defense, I have none,
For never leaving well enough alone.

But it would’ve been fun,
If you would’ve been the one.

Humans are boring.

If there’s something Hyeju has realized upon her many years of stay on Earth, it’s the fact that humans are unimaginably, excruciatingly and inexplicably boring – in other words, she doesn’t like them that much. Contrary to her twin – Yerim – she doesn’t find humans fascinating. Yerim would tell her it’s all about the precious little things life has to offer, but Hyejoo has never understood it. Yeah, neither does she plan to try comprehending it any time soon, she’d rather not waste her time with such boring creatures. “There’s just nothing good about living a monotonous life,” she’d simply shrug.

Amidst the bustling streets of Hongdae, all she could ever wonder is why do these countless people seem to be always in a hurry. As an entity who watches over time, Hyeju thinks it’s ridiculous how humans often complain about not having enough time to manage whatever thing they have going for them. Heck, humans have an average lifespan of eighty years. They have 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds each day – really, just…..what are they rushing for?

Among those busy people, living their oh-so-meaningful busy lives, Hyeju singles out a certain black-haired woman she’s been looking for to make her uneventful life as a timekeeper a bit more interesting. She finds her looking as casual as ever – wearing a plain white shirt with a black flannel draping over her shoulder, matched with blue faded jeans and black sneakers – seated alone outside a local coffee shop. She nonchalantly plays with her drink, watching the ice cubes rattle as her head slightly nods along the soft melodies coming from the busking session just across the street. In other words, just someone very normal and boring. Yerim has always reminded Hyeju to be more kind though, so yeah…..she would at least acknowledge the fact that said boring human has been given an equally boring name she could use to address her – Kim Chaewon.  

The woman seems to be having fun, but Hyeju decides to interrupt what should have been a peaceful night for her. "If you'd be given a chance to travel back in time, would you?" She states it out of nowhere, not even sparing a few seconds to say hello first, or any attempt at doing a slightly humane introduction. She’d say she isn’t even human to begin with so why bother, but that’s besides the point. 

Chaewon simply stares back at her, unsure of the random question this weird child has brought. It may be a bit rude to call a stranger weird, but greeting someone with an existential crisis inducing question wouldn't exactly be considered friendly. "Uhm….I think I'll pass?" 

"Ew, humans." The kid answers, disapproval – and a certain degree of disgust, to be quite honest – written all over her small face. 

Okay, now that's just rude! Chaewon came here today for a much-needed alone time after having an exhausting day at work, her plans didn’t include having to deal with a brat??? She doesn’t need this rude kid to amplify her ongoing quarter-life crisis, her friends from work do that job rather well whenever they’d ask her whether she has plans of getting married any time soon. 

Hyeju immediately answers before the woman could even utter anything, "Well, I'm not here to befriend you? Why would I?"

That’s it! Chaewon has genuinely nothing against kids, but this particular child who has shamelessly invited herself over her table is giving her a good reason to start hating them. Yep, she would make sure to reconsider the idea of having kids of her own someday. Reminding herself to still act like a proper adult, she politely tries chasing away the kid. "There are other tables, maybe others would be interested in joining your cult-"

"Hah. Thinking of not having kids? It's not like you're in a relationship anyway,” the brat cuts her off again.

Not-so-slightly offended, Chaewon feels the need to defend herself against this small existence who seems to have a knack at annoying her. She just wouldn’t let some random brat easily trample her pride – acting smug, she confidently refutes the kid’s claims. "Hey! You don't know that! Who knows, maybe I already have a kid just around your age. You could never tell."

"Oh please. I do know, I just don't care." Hyeju shrugs, her face still feigning disinterest as if she didn't approach the lady on purpose. 

Eyebrows raised in amusement, Chaewon challenges the kid. "Uh huh. What do you know then?"

Duh, everything.

After contemplating for a few seconds whether she'd be breaking any rules, Hyeju decides to humor her. Who cares about boring rules? Definitely not her. "Kim Chaewon, 28 years old, a dropout from some fancy school who happens to be from a rich family so she could do whatever she wants, but is too stubborn to ask for help. Oh, you somehow were able to find a decent job. You're still as single as always though."

Chaewon couldn't believe what she's hearing, she couldn't find the right words to say – the kid didn't give her any chance to answer either. Hyeju even adds, "Eh, your ex-girlfriend is a famous actress now. Is that why you're still single? Ever thought of maybe lowering your standards?"

"MIN ISN'T MY EX," Chaewon corrects her right away.

Perfect.

Everything's going as planned, just a bit more push and Hyeju knows she'd get what she wants. The kid makes sure to emphasize, "Oooh, right. You two didn't really become a thing. Mind telling me whose fault is that?" 

Horrified with the fact that this brat seems to know a bit too much, Chaewon exclaims, "WHO ARE YOU??"

"Your saving grace," Hyeju simply states as if it's the most obvious conclusion. For her, it is. 

It doesn't take a genius to notice how sketchy the kid sounds, and Chaewon has always been more on the skeptical side. Who knows, maybe this is some sort of an elaborate scam running haywire these days. Saving grace, really? Yeah, it sounds like something a religious cult would spout. She has never been that much of a religious person, she wonders if this kid's parents are part of this too. Are they forcing her to do this? Should she call Child Support?

"No thanks. I'm not the one who needs help here. My parents have nothing to do with this either. In fact, they might send me to hell for doing this. That wouldn't be too bad though, I guess?" Hyeju grimaces at the thought of their moms finding out what she's been up to – she knows Yerim wouldn't snitch, but there's still a possibility for their moms to know what's up. They always know what's up. Being sent to hell would be a possible punishment, but she somehow thinks that even that god-forsaken (literally) place would be better than this boring place called earth. Of course, taking care of the demon dogs sounds more fun than watching boring humans all day long - maybe she'd be a good fit for hell.

Chaewon couldn't grasp what the kid is trying to say, and Hyeju doesn't have any plans to explain further. In fact, she cuts off the lady again before she could ask for a clarification. Looking towards the small crowd starting to form across the streets, Hyeju complains, "And yes, I could read your mind. So do me a favor and stop thinking of silly things. You're too loud. Those brats are loud as it is."

Visibly confused, Chaewon follows the direction of the kid's gaze. "Aren't those brats older than you though?"

"Brats are brats. You're a brat too, human," Hyeju snickers. 

"It takes one to know one, right?" Chaewon chimes back, effectively mocking the kid. Yep, forget about being a proper adult – she’s not going to let this brat look down on her. Others might call it childish, (and they’d be right) she calls it being fair. 

"Not right. Left. You were left behind." Hyeju prides herself for having a knack at annoying people - heck, even Yerim runs out of patience sometimes when it comes to her. That's YERIM already, arguably one of the kindest creatures across all realms. 

"Joke's on you, I'm the one who left!" Chaewon answers right away, thinking that she has finally won over the brat. 

"Proud of it, aren’t ya? And look where that has led you into. Coward, you're here all alone. Hyeju grins, delivering the final blow – fully knowing that the human got nothing to counter that. “It turns out, you're the real joke here!"

"Hey, that stings! Too personal!" Chaewon laughs along, realizing how silly it is to bicker with a stranger who knows too much about her. She gotta admit though, the kid is right. 

When I close my eyes, motionlessly, the music starts, thoughtlessly

I think about that time again

Maybe it's just the song being played across the streets, or maybe the way the wind blows a bit colder tonight -- waves of nostalgia start to fill the atmosphere. Chaewon has been peacefully living inside her own small world for years, she'd say it wasn't that bad. However, it seems to be different tonight. She could blame her tiring day at work, or this annoying brat she's been having a hard time dealing with, but she couldn't ignore the dreadful feeling that settles at the back of her mind. It reminds her that she wasn't always alone inside her own world. For a while, she was able to share it with someone else.

When you really liked me, that song, tactlessly,

Lifts me up

Someone who has always always been there, making her foolishly believe that it's always going to be that way. The cosmos favoring her for once, and the stars just aligning along all those sappy romantic stuff lovestruck fools say on the internet. Except, she has never liked the stars, and life has always been a prick, so of course, it has found a way to separate her from what could have been the most beautiful thing in her life. Chaewon could blame the stars all she wants, but really, she knows. She can sugarcoat it as much as she wants, but at the end of the day, it's still her fault. She's nothing but a coward who left when things got too difficult for her. The kid was right, she's the real joke here – a pathetic one. 

There are times people would ponder upon what has ruined them – just like any humans, Chaewon would sometimes think about this as well. Where did it all go wrong? What ruined it? 

What ruined them? Her. Whatever they had, Chaewon knows she's the one who ruined it. Her life was in shambles, so she did what she thought would have been the best for the both of them, but ended up being her biggest regret – running away. From Minjoo, from her family, from music, from all the good things, from everything. 

Back then when I was so happy

Back then I didn’t know

Where did everything go wrong? I'm still here.

What ruined Kim Chaewon? Maybe her dreams did - music did. 

Being born in a family filled with musicians, saying that music has always been part of her life would be an understatement. More so, not just any musicians who play music for fun – prominent ones like her mom who's a known theater actress in Korea, or her father who's a notable composer for theatrical plays. It's inevitable for the people within the industry to look forward towards the bright path ahead of the beloved only daughter of the famous Kim couple of the theater world.

Here's the thing though, Chaewon despised music. 

Her mom would always be busy doing rehearsals, tirelessly working for her career each day thus causing her to be absent for most of Chaewon’s life. Despite his dad working behind the scenes, he's just as busy – if not more – always cooped up in his office studio, making melodies for the world to hear. Her parents have always tried their best to be there for her as much as they can, but a naïve kid couldn't help but start hating the thing that's keeping her parents away from her – music. 

Here’s a harmless question adults would always ask young kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

There are those who are born knowing what they want, her mom told her before that she has always liked music even during her younger years. She even tells Chaewon funny stories of her taking all kinds of odd roles before she eventually had her big break – it didn’t matter to her mom, as long as she could be on stage. Her dad fondly recalls how much he loved composing melodies; he has gotten more familiar with reading notes than reading actual words when he could barely pick up a pen and write as a kid. However, Chaewon was nothing of the sort – she isn’t as passionate as her mom or a musical genius like her father. 

Her young mind simply couldn't understand what's so good about music. Once, she asked her dad about it. 

"Why would you spend hours on that," twelve-year-old Chaewon curiously asks his father who's rummaging through the pile of music sheets – just scanning them for the nth time in case he missed something. 

Her dad laughs, "It doesn't feel like hours to me."

Puzzled, the teenager asks, "You like it that much?"

Mr. Kim brightly nods, a placid smile plastered across his face. He pauses for a while, thinking of a  simple explanation that would be good enough to satisfy her daughter's curiosity. "Hmmm, why'd you like mintchoco ice cream? Your mom calls it toothpaste."

Clearly offended, Chaewon exclaims, "It's not that bad! We all have our preferences!" 

"Same thing. We all have things that we love. For your mom and I, we love music." Her father explains, his smile not faltering for a second. He holds himself back from gushing over the fact that his love for music has brought him the woman she’d cherish for the rest of his life, and a precious child of their own. Like any other father, he whole-heartedly wishes that her kid would get to experience such a beautiful moment in life – both music and love. Kim Chaewon is too young for that though, so he settles for something much simpler.

"Someday, you'd find something you'd want to do for the rest of your life. It doesn't have to be music. Just because we love it, doesn't mean you should too. We'd love you regardless," Mr. Kim gives his daughter a head pat, Chaewon smiles.

"Can I just eat mintchoco ice cream for the rest of my life then?" Chaewon casually jokes, her own laughter filling the air. 

Being just as playful as his child, Mr. Kim laughs along. "Well, you can. But remember how I said we'd love you regardless, maybe we'd need to reconsider that if you're THIS obsessed over toothpaste. Are ya planning to be a dentist-"

Maybe she should have just taken her father’s suggestion – albeit said jokingly, and meant to be a jab for her (arguably) poor taste in food – and her life would have been easier. She wasn’t a bad student anyway, she should have just continued attending cram schools, and went to some fancy Medical School. Instead, Kim Chaewon decides to follow her parents’ path – she falls for music just as hard as her parents did. 

Mr. Kim forgot to tell her an important part though: Life isn’t as lovely all the time. Oftentimes, it’s cruel, soul-crushing, and cold. 

In my faded memories, time doesn’t exist

While I can’t bring myself to erase them

In the pictures I have left, it’s still the way it was back then

One thing Chaewon has learned over the years is that everything passes – may it be a good thing or a horrible thing – it just does. At some point of her mundane existence, she has realized that humans just live in fleeting moments of their lives. Every day, every hour, every minute, and every second, is just another passing instance that she probably wouldn’t even remember in the next few years to come. In that manner, everything and everyone seems so trivial and every worry she has sounds so laughably unimportant. 

Then again, nothing is ever so simple. From time to time, something reminds her of old wounds that she thought her consciousness had already filed under labels that read as “outdated” and “irrelevant.” Tonight, that something comes in a form of a sarcastic grumpy brat who happens to be extremely persistent at rummaging Chaewon’s pile of regrets. 

“This weird kid is definitely not here for coffee,” Chaewon unconsciously whispers to herself, forgetting that the child sitting across her has some sort of cult-ish magic that enables her to read a person’s mind, let alone hear the not-so-subtle insult. 

Hyeju whines, “Again, not in a cult. Why are you so obsessed with cults???” 

“This brat-”

“Stop calling me a brat, brat. I have a name. I’m Hyeju,” the little kid immediately corrects her, not even letting her finish her sentence. 

Chaewon reminds herself that it would be too mean to shout at a child, letting out a heavy sigh amidst the process of restraining herself from accidentally smacking the kid’s head. “Okay, Hyeju. What do you want? You’re not here for coffee, are you?” 

“Neither are you,” Hyeju scoffs. 

Confused Chaewon remains mummed, prompting Hyeju to further explain whatever it is she’s hinting at. She points her finger to the building across the street, just beside the lively busking session. “You’re here for her, right?”

The older girl follows the direction Hyeju is pointing at, and almost spills her coffee as she understands what the kid is trying to say. There in all its glory, stands a fourteen-feet high billboard of an oh-so-familiar actress – Kim Minjoo. Chaewon repeatedly coughs, clearing her throat in an attempt to regain her composure. “Hey, I’m not THAT pathetic. It’s not my fault her face is everywhere in Seoul!!” 

“Meh. Sure, if you say so,” Hyeju shrugs, dismissing whatever rubbish reasoning the older girl gives her. At least, she has allowed her to finish saying her lame excuse this time. How kind of her, right? Yerim must be so proud of her! 

Yeah, maybe she could try her twin’s less-persuasive, yet polite ways. “Can I ask you a question?” 

The older girl nods in approval, but doesn’t back out easily either. The kid seems to be provoking her ever since she invited herself over at Chaewon’s table, and two could play that game. “Oh, didn’t you say you already know everything about me?” 

Hyeju doesn’t entertain her mocking for once and proceeds to the real intention of tonight’s friendly visit to Chaewon, “Why did you leave everything behind? Is running away your hobby, I thought it was music?”

Music. Running away. Leaving. Everything. 

Huh, what’s that? Chaewon could easily dismiss the question, casually pretending she doesn’t know what this stranger is talking about, but those few words appear to wield tremendous power over her consciousness tonight. She could blame it to the gloomy atmosphere the busking session creates as the night grows deeper and they sing mellow songs, or perhaps she could accuse the chilly air permeating every fiber of her thin sweater as it reaches the darkest cubby of her mind – one that houses records of fleeting moments that she’d just rather keep to herself for as long as she could. 

Chaewon’s gaze casts towards the fourteen-feet high billboard not too far from them, briefly forgetting the existence of the little kid in front of her. Minjoo doesn’t look too different from what she remembers, maybe just a bit older, a bit more matured, a bit more beautiful, and a bit more composed – probably because she’s all dolled up for the advertisement, right?

Of course not, Chaewon knows that’s not the reason. Once again, it hits her how many years it has already been, and how much of Minjoo’s life she has already missed. She gives the little kid an honest answer, her voice devoid of any hint of bitterness or malice. A content smile playing across her lips, “I left ‘cause some people got what it takes to be successful, and some don’t. I don’t.” 

Hyeju challenges, “Or….maybe you just got scared?”

Oh please, that’s something the older girl has already acknowledged a few years back. She has never liked horror movies as a kid, yet the world waiting for her outside those chilling stories is far more cruel – it’s way darker, more unforgiving, and utterly terrifying. She doesn’t bother denying it, she defeatedly admits, “Maybe.” 

“That’s also part of it though. I was scared, and cowards rarely get anything done. That’s on me,” Chaewon adds.

Finally, Hyeju finds something interesting after years of listlessly wandering around this planet filled with billions of oh-so-self-righteous boring mortals who blame stars, planets, gods – or whoever and whatever being they could – for any mishaps or minor inconvenience that would come their way. A human who actually admits their shortcomings? Now, that's rare! Who knows, maybe Yerim is right about believing that humans aren't that bad. 

“Then what if you’d have another chance? Will you take it," Hyeju expectantly asks, trying her best to stay calm and stop the loud cackle threatening to spill. She always finds humans and their never ending what-if scenarios hilarious. Surely, Kim Chaewon wouldn’t be any different – and Hyeju would certainly enjoy watching every second of her pathetically trying so hard to change the past.

Chaewon doesn’t miss a beat, responding immediately as if it’s the most obvious conclusion, “Huh? No??? My life didn’t turn out that great, but hers did. I’m okay with that.”

Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Hyeju believes she had carefully calculated and considered every possible outcome, but Chaewon’s answer and visible lack of interest is definitely not part of her plan. The older girl didn’t even seem to think of accepting her offer for a single second? The audacity of this human! Not-so-slightly-offended with eyebrows knitting together in sheer confusion, the little deity clarifies, “You wouldn’t want to be more than okay?? You mean, you wouldn’t care if someone gives you a time machine???” 

“For free,” Hyeju makes sure to emphasize. 

Chaewon shortly pauses, watching the black liquid swirling in her cup as the ice cubes have started to melt. She swallows the familiar ugly taste that rises from the back of her throat – one that certainly doesn’t have anything to do with the coffee, but is just as bitter as any iced americano with double shot of espresso she ever had. (Or, maybe even worse.) “No, I wouldn’t know how far I have to go back. I don’t know where everything went wrong,” she murmurs in a softer tone. 

Hyeju still fails to understand her reasoning, but she has never understood humans that much anyway. Chaewon stares at the bustling streets of Seoul in what can only be described as melancholic reverence, “Maybe things never went wrong, it just wasn’t the right path for me all along.”

Oh, I’m still here. 

Few passing seconds before the transitions, just the small window of time in between the stage and the spotlight, everything feels so damn slow for a certain girl – Kim Chaewon. She starts to fumble with her fingers, so bored out of her mind as she mindlessly watches the passionate performers singing their hearts out in front of her. “What am I even watching,” she inwardly scolds herself for coming here today. 

She has never liked theaters to begin with – the onset of blaring lights, the smell of dry air, and being seated quite close to the main stage aren’t helping either. The show is barely half-way, yet Chaewon swears she’s bound to have a stiff-neck if she stays for ten more minutes here. Being the good daughter she has always been, (or, so she says) she didn’t want to waste the tickets she has for this supposedly great show. Her mom told her to bring a friend, but of course, Chaewon wouldn’t want to subject anyone else to such ‘suffering.’ 

Right, maybe the show isn’t as bad as she describes it as since everyone around her appears to be focused on what’s happening on the stage. The venue is quite big, and almost all seats are filled so it must really be a popular act. She doesn’t particularly enjoy staying in places with a lot of people though, hence it’s a good thing that she’s in between two empty seats. One for the extra ticket her mom has given her, and the other one… .Chaewon assumes they’ve saved themselves last-minute from this boring and stiff neck-inducing activity on a Friday night. 

Or…..maybe not? “Excuse me. Sorry, excuse me. Thank you,” a girl who’s probably around her age apologizes in a hushed voice as she momentarily obstructs the view of the other people seated in their section. Chaewon quietly observes the other girl as she takes the seat beside her, dots forming in her head.

“Uhm,,I’m really sorry,” the girl mumbles shyly towards her upon noticing her gaze – assuming that Chaewon must be annoyed with the interruption. She thinks it’s natural, and she’d feel the same if someone enters the theater an hour after the show has started. 

Chaewon simply nods without any expression, then quickly averts her gaze back to the stage – her ears tinged with a light shade of pink, embarrassment kicking in after she got caught staring at the stranger. Not paying any attention to the performance, she continues glancing back at the other girl from time to time, just quick enough to not get caught again and be accused of being a weirdo or something. 

In her defense, she’s definitely not a creep! In her sixteen years of existence, she hasn’t committed any crime punishable by the law yet. Unless skipping cram school counts….it doesn’t, right? She has only done that once or twice (or thrice…maybe four times?), but that’s not the point! It’s just that she’s wondering why her fellow student would subject herself to such suffering – in other words, watching a musical play – Chaewon feels a sense of camaraderie upon distinguishing the uniform the girl is wearing.

"She probably went straight here from extra lessons," she unconsciously blurts out. 

"Oh," the other girl gasps. Chaewon quickly covers her own mouth, thinking that the girl might have heard her. 

Few seconds later, she hears soft sobs beside her which makes Chaewon panic a little. She has no idea what to do, she racks her mind of any possible explanation – is it because of what she said, is her school life hard, is she failing her classes, is she being bullied, should she offer to tutor her, should she make elaborate plans to 'accidentally' destroy the bullies' lives…just…why is this girl crying??? 

Feeling guilty that she might have unintentionally reminded the other girl of her possibly miserable school life, Chaewon offers her handkerchief to the girl. "Here, take this."

The girl looks back at her, visibly hesitating and unsure what to do. Illuminated by the bright stage lights, Chaewon sees her eyes starting to get red with all the crying. She nudges her hand, wordlessly trying to tell her to just take the handkerchief. "Thank you," the other girl murmurs amidst sobs, finally accepting it. 

Kim Chaewon is aware that she should remain quiet and just watch the show, but her mind (and conscience, she'd say) adamantly continues to bother her into asking the girl what's wrong. She isn't paying much attention to the show anyway, so Chaewon yields to her sudden urge to be nosy. She moves closer to the girl, whispering, "Are you okay? What happened?"

"It's nothing…it's...." the girl trails off. Chaewon looks at her expectantly, so she continues, "....it's just the song. I don't know…it sounds so sad."

As much as she wants the girl to elaborate, Chaewon knows it would be disrespectful to the other people watching if she continues talking to the girl beside her. Instead, she looks back at the stage and tries to actually watch the performance this time. She's hoping that maybe…..just maybe she'd comprehend why anyone would cry over a musical they'd come over an hour late for. Most likely, the girl doesn't even have any idea what the play is all about. (Not that Chaewon has any, she doesn't know either despite not being late.)

By the end of the show, it finally dawns on Chaewon why her parents love Music so much – it is delicate and beautiful. Just with melodies and words, it enables transfer of emotion. It is capable of putting people in a trance, making them feel happy, sad, scared, or any other emotion out there. Out of nowhere, she finds herself wanting to do the same. 

At sixteen, Kim Chaewon fell in love with music. 

Later on, she learns that the girl who cried beside her is just there as a last-minute favor for her older sister. Said sister is apparently friends with one of the performers, and she wanted to personally show support but a sudden change in her schedule made it impossible. As an alternative, she sent her younger sister even though she'd be over an hour late. 

As Chaewon walks out of the theater, she has two great things in tow – her new-found love for music and her new friend. 

Kim Minjoo. 

Right path, huh?

"You humans and your silly beliefs. Right path, right choice, right time blah blah. So boring," Hyeju off-handedly shrugs. Once again, this reminds the guardian of time why she has never fancied humans. They always obsess over nonsense, being so caught up with their thoughts and what-if scenarios that they tend to forget living in the moment. And now, this human wouldn't even bother to try changing her past. What happened to their oh-so-famous saying that it's the thought that counts??? 

Technically speaking, Hyeju knows very well that the older girl is actually correct – and that's what makes her more annoyed. Yeah, there's no point in trying to change the past, but that's the point of this game??? Humans are supposed to be humans. Dumb and insufferable! 

"You say that as if you aren't also a human," Chaewon snickers. 

Genuinely horrified with the idea, Hyeju adamantly denies the awful accusation. “Ya, how dare you compare me to humans?! I’d rather be Cerberus’ babysitter for decades than be a human!”

Naturally, Chaewon fails to get whatever the kid is trying to say. Not that it matters, it’s getting late and she knows she should start heading home before the traffic becomes worse. As much as she perceives Hyeju’s existence as odd – and a bit tiresome, but she wouldn’t say that out loud – she still worries about the kid’s safety. Thus, she offers, “Are you going somewhere? Let’s go together if you’re riding the bus.” 

Hyeju sighs, “Okay, if you say so.” Clearly, the kid is in no way okay with how things are unfolding – Kim Chaewon refusing the offer is something she didn’t account for, what the hell is she supposed to tell Yerim? Just how are they gonna go start with the game now? 

It would be a handful to deal with an annoyed Yerim, Hyeju knows that much about her twin. Although she did meet her favorite actress Minji, or whatever that girl’s name is – that should count, right? Surely, Yerim wouldn’t tell their moms about their little game out of spite? Pause. What if she does? As much as she hates being a timekeeper, Hyeju would hate it more if their moms send her elsewhere as some sort of punishment….again. She’d love to escape Earth, but their moms have always been unpredictable – one time they’ve sent her to purgatory as a temporary Soul Guide . Unarguably, it was her most horrifying experience. Not that she’s afraid of ghosts or what, but what’s worse than humans? Apparently, dead ones who have a lot of regrets so they refuse to accept the fact that their time has ended are at least ten times more infuriating. 

TLDR: Working in the Afterlife Department wasn't fun, Hyeju would never willingly go back there. 

The timekeeper couldn’t risk her twin snitching on her, thus she opts out to using a little bit of her power. It’d be technically against the rules, but this whole game shouldn’t even be a thing anyway so who cares. With a slight wave of her hand, the older girl’s remaining coffee spills all over the table. “What the hell,” confused Chaewon curses under her breath, wondering what just happened.

“You should clean it up before it spreads further,” Hyeju monotonously suggests as if the whole mess isn’t her fault to begin with. Well, Chaewon doesn’t need to know that. 

“Oh, okay. Just stay here,” Chaewon gets up from her seat, heading inside the cafe to ask for tissues so she could clean the mess. As soon as she turns her back, Hyeju quickly tosses a white chess piece and a folded note inside the older girl’s bag. “There we go, no need to worry about Yerim snitching now.”

The older girl comes back shortly, wiping the table off the black liquid – still confused as to how her cup fell out of nowhere. She has never been that lucky her whole life, but this….is she being haunted by a ghost now? “Yep, I should really go home now,” she unconsciously whispers as they climb the short steps of the bus.

Completely unaware of the timekeeper’s shenanigans, they remain meek during the entirety of the short bus ride. The vehicle heads towards a familiar bus stop, making an oh-so-bright and oh-so-great brief moment resurface – one that she has thought she has already buried at the back of her mind years ago. If she pretends enough, she could act as if it has never happened, but the drizzle that starts to pour makes it harder – less bearable, and almost impossible – than usual. Every drop of water misting the windows of the bus, clouds her thoughts just as much. (Or, maybe even more.) Inevitably, the stupid rain throws her back into a love letter of a precious memory that she has neatly tucked and folded away a long time ago. 

Hey, I'm still here.

“Uhm….I have something to ask you,” the girl trails off, unsure whether she should push through with it or just save it for another time. She’s not in a hurry anyway, it doesn’t have to be today. Tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or maybe in the next 10 years – point is, there’s always a next time!  Amidst her inner turmoil, her gaze unconsciously fleets away towards the random cars passing by. 

“Alright, here’s the deal. If a blue car passes, let’s do it,” she silently cheers herself up, but uses her hands to cover her eyes. (In other words, making it impossible to even see anything.) Is blue too common? Maybe she should change it to gold?  You don’t just see gold cars roaming around at 2pm in the afternoon, right? Are gold cars even a thing, what kind of lunatic would buy one? No judgements though, of course everyone could have their own preference. 

“Minjoo,” she hears a familiar voice utter something that sounds similar to her name, but that’s not the point – finding someone who shares the same name as her is not her priority today. Maybe she could do that if she’s bored enough with her life, but not today because she should be (avoiding) looking for gold cars and– 

“YA!! KIM MINJOO!!!!” The said familiar voice screams, finally getting tired with Minjoo blatantly ignoring her for a whole minute now.

Immediately opening her eyes, Minjoo absent-mindedly answers and  ends up blankly staring at the girl in front of her, “Chaewon unnie?....I want gold.”

“Are you sick??” Chaewon fails to keep a serious face, dumbfounded with the younger girl’s response. To be fair, she could say it’s normal to like gold – it’s shiny and expensive. Sure, everyone likes gold….but what??? She wonders whether it’s the summer  heat affecting her, perhaps they should cancel their plans for today and just go home. Minjoo doesn’t reply, prompting Chaewon to continue, “Min, you said you wanna ask something.”

“Yeah….I need to ask…yep,” Minjoo’s train of thoughts suddenly halts, just leaving her staring at the girl once again with an awkward smile – a poor attempt at covering her not-so-obvious nervousness. 

Chaewon frowns, starting to get worried with the other girl and her lack of coherent response. It has been over a month since she came back to Korea for a much needed break from studying, countless auditions, and sleepless nights practicing for stage plays – her parents suggested last night that she should stay a bit longer, but she insisted on going back to New York in three days. She’d say it’d be a waste of money to cancel her flight now, but she’s actually just afraid of missing more than she already has – she fully knows that her so-called “short-break” means a lot of missed training sessions, and even missed opportunities. Yeah, she definitely has a lot of catching up to do out there.

As  much as she wants to spend her remaining days here with Minjoo, Chaewon would never risk having the younger girl sick. Maybe it’s indeed too hot today, Minjoo’s well-being has always been one of her priorities, and it wouldn’t take a genius to notice that the younger girl seems to be really bothered about something today – may it be the hot weather or not, her mind seems to be wandering somewhere else. 

“That’s it, we’re going  home,” Chaewon states with finality, calmly grabbing the other girl’s hand to help her in case she starts to feel dizzy. The harmless action out of genuine concern makes Minjoo freak out even more, abruptly taking back her hand with a lame excuse in tow, “No no no, no need. I was just zoning out.” 

“Are you sure,” Chaewon reaffirms, the younger girl hastily nods but Chaewon doesn’t easily buy her explanation. 

With a swift stride towards her, she firmly places her hand on Minjoo’s forehead to check her temperature, “I don’t think it’s fever.” 

The younger girl remains mummed, finding the dull concrete pavement beneath her becoming suddenly more interesting than the worried girl talking right in front of her – which Minjoo soon realizes is a bad idea. Definitely a bad idea when ignoring Chaewon drives the girl to lean so so so, impossibly close to  her, as if she has never heard of the term “personal space” before. In any case, it is horrible! And as if that wasn’t torturing (for Minjoo who’s a bit dramatic like her older sister Jiyeon) enough, Chaewon gently trails her hand down to Minjoo’s face, “Your cheeks….are a bit hot?” 

“Whose fault do you think that is??” Her inner voice screams, but the younger girl decidedly ignores it. Instead, she shyly mumbles, “Unnie, you’re too close.” 

“Oh!” Chaewon flinches, taking back her hand in a haste as embarrassment kicks in – her face flushing into a full deep red that’s at least twice as bad as Minjoo’s. So much for just being concerned, perhaps it’s the damn summer heat getting into her head as well.

Minjoo could no longer stop the laughter bubbling up her chest, amused with the older girl being so uncharacteristically shy for once. Chaewon has always been the “braver” of the two, always saying and doing stuff that sends her heart pounding; and renders her into a stuttering mess. However, she isn’t complaining at all – she could easily get used to this, and she’d surely love to. Knowing that she has this kind of effect with the other girl gives her a surge of courage, perhaps they are on the same page after all. 

With her lips curving into a loving smile, Minjoo finally decides to take the leap. “Gold cars” be damned, she ought to say the short speech she had prepared the night before . “Unnie, thank you for always being here for me.” 

Chaewon’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, “Uhm…you’re welcome?”

And just like that, all the remaining nervousness completely leaves Minjoo's body. She’s still afraid of whatever answer the older girl would give her, but a small smile plays across her lips as she carries on, “You buy me ice cream when I’m sad. You always support me in everything. You show up when you say you would. You always listen to me. You always keep your promises.” 

“Right, you even let me cut your bangs when I told you I wanted to be a stylist,” Minjoo adds. 

Chaewon snickers upon recalling the “fond” (traumatic) incident about her poor bangs, but doesn’t further complain about it. She still doesn’t understand where this conversation is heading, but this time she says it with a placid smile of her own, “You’re welcome.” 

Minjoo already forgets the rest of the speech she has prepared beforehand, but she still continues with her ramblings without thinking too much – just letting her heart guide her in this unknown path she has willingly jumped on while still hoping for the best. “You’re always here. Right beside me.”

“I was actually in New York for a year, but you’re welcome,” Chaewon light-heartedly interjects.

Her voice remains clear and steady, not wavering for a second despite the drizzle that begins to drown out the sound of their surroundings with the light thumping of water hitting the feverishly hot asphalt. It’s a weird afternoon rain, but not as weird as the brazen confession that comes out of Minjoo’s lips. “What I’m saying is, you’ve always been a good friend. Kim Chaewon, it would mean the world to me if we could be more than friends.” 

Everything seems to slow down upon hearing those words, giving Chaewon enough time to take in the sight in front of her – radiant eyes that are too honest for their own good, long black hair that reminds her of their high school days that were just so bright and dazzling, and the calming voice that she’d never get tired listening to. It’s the melodious voice that she loves hearing as the girl complained about the cringey movies they’d watch as teenagers, and the very same sweet voice that comforted her during her darkest nights. 

Twenty-year-old Kim Minjoo pouring her heart out along with the pouring rain, brings a strange warmth on Chaewon’s face. Who knew a love confession that doesn’t contain the overused phrase “I love you” would bring her such delight, almost making her instantly cancel her flight – who cares about New York, when Kim Minjoo is right here. She’s taking a bit too long to respond, so Minjoo notices her not-so-subtle contemplation, “I’m saying I wanna DATE you, not that I’m asking you for marriage.” 

Chaewon stifles a giggle, dispelling her thoughts – right, she’s thinking too much. They aren’t in a hurry, they have a lifetime ahead of them to figure things out together. It’s not like the other girl is asking her to choose between her and Chaewon’s dream, she knows Minjoo would never do that. And surely, they’re way past the point of needing words to know how each other truly feels, right? (Or at least, that’s what she assumes.) Instead of a spur-of-the-moment decision, she opts out for a promise, “When I come back from New York, would it be okay to give you an answer then?” 

Minjoo’s knowing smile widens to a grin, “Unnie, it’s more than okay!! No need to answer now, why are you in a rush? It’s not like we’re not gonna see each other again. It ain’t even Christmas yet.” 

“Yeah, of course. Merry Christmas,” Chaewon jokingly retorts in a sing-song manner. For her, the unexpected summer rain comes with Minjoo’s unexpected confession – she believes that it’s a precious moment she’d forever hold dearly close to her heart no matter what. 

…..Until the supposed pleasant memory eventually turns into a painful reminder of all the good things she misses, because Kim Chaewon didn’t – and couldn’t – fulfill her promise. Not when she bravely comes back to New York to give her dream another shot, just to realize that a dream is only good if it doesn’t get worn out. Life has a thousand different cruel ways to show why giving up might be the least painful option at times, and Chaewon soon learns this the hard way – one that shatters her soul, and crushes everything she has ever believed and hoped for. 

Her loved ones had given her enough courage to try once more, making Chaewon fearlessly fly back to New York for her dreams. She may not be as passionate as her mom, or a genius like her father, but she – quite naively, perhaps – believes that she could compensate for it by working twice, or maybe thrice as hard. “Hard work beats talent,” they’d say. Furthermore, she has a promise she needs to keep. Someone’s waiting for her back at home, so she can’t afford to lose her heart now. 

Chaewon tries again.

Countless auditions that are neither good nor bad – maybe just not spectacular enough – that usually end with a kind note, “We’d just give you a callback.” If lucky enough, she even gets included for the final casting; and every time she gets so, so, so close to the actual thing, her hope instantly crumbles down through different variations of “just-not-what-we’re-looking-for” or “not-now-try-again-next-time" feedbacks. 

Again.

That’s alright, she just needs to keep on trying. She doesn’t exactly remember when, but her days started getting blurry – everyday became so repetitive that she could no longer even tell apart day and night. It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. She simply has to keep on working hard, it’s nothing too complicated. If she keeps on trying, she’s bound to get a few things right. 

And again.

Cruise plays do sound like a good idea too, she could go for those as well for the sake of experience. It’s definitely going to demand a lot more time and effort, but it’s doable if she sacrifices a few more hours of her sleep. She just has to keep on trying because timing doesn’t favor those who are ready, it favors those who try. She should just trust the process, and keep on going. Everything would eventually be okay, right?

And again. 

The number of young aspiring theater performers in their dorms keeps on decreasing each day – numerous friends end up hating something they used to be so passionate about, feeling dumb for ever thinking that maybe they could make the cut. Chaewon has seen countless people giving up their dreams, until…..it was her turn. Time becomes unbearably slow, and everyday she wonders whether she’d ever amount to something in life.

How many more blurred tomorrows are waiting for her?

“Not good. You should practice more,” their mentor objectively tells her for what feels like the millionth time. Just one day, Chaewon wakes up being so detached from everything – not even those words affect her anymore – she doesn’t flinch at all, doesn’t even feel remotely sad, and certainly doesn’t feel like trying again any time soon, or ever.

Chaewon dazedly walks her way back to their empty dorms with countless thoughts wrecking havoc inside her already messy mind, just….what is she supposed to do now? She used to believe that she’d rather do her best than keep on wondering whether she would have made it, but now she has reached the end. This is it, she really did try her best. She’s only been getting five hours of sleep each day, afraid to waste more time, always working her hardest for this so-called ‘beloved dream’ of hers. Should she have not slept at all, not eat anything, and just practiced 24/7 – how could she possibly try any harder? 

She has learned how to love Music years ago, but no one has ever taught her how to accept the bitter reality that sometimes things just don’t work out. She should blame the world for never giving her an opportunity, but Kim Chaewon has always been too kind to hate the world. Thus, she ends up blaming herself. 

Her colorful youth has ended, leaving her standing in the middle of a dark room – alone, exhausted, and drowning within her own thoughts.

“Close your eyes, breathe,” she wills herself through murky muddled thoughts. Maybe if she says it out loud enough, she could get rid of the heavy feeling settling down her chest. She knows she’s just tired, it’s a feeling she has been way too accustomed with – she could always get rid of it by reminding herself of the reasons why she’s still here desperately clinging on despite everything. 

Except this time, it doesn’t work. 

Chaewon has been trying long enough – behind closed doors, away from everything – dreading over the fear of failure, of being a disappointment, of being unworthy of all the good things she has in life, of being an empty vessel of what she used to be. She couldn’t think of anything….just nothing. What was she even working so damn hard for? The eerie silence of the night becomes too familiar, the darkness that used to scare her no longer bothers her – she even finds it nice – so oddly comforting, so incredibly and breathtakingly beautiful, that she thinks she wouldn’t mind being one with it.

As if on cue, her phone chimes, snapping Chaewon out of her trance. Simple text messages lighting up amidst the oh-so-peaceful night – a nudge from someone who is physically miles away from her, yet has always been present just exactly when she needs it most.

From Minmin♥︎ August 2, 2015, 12:01AM: chaechaechae unnie

From Minmin♥︎ August 2, 2015, 12:03AM: happy birthday!! :> did u enjoy your day? always stay warm and take good care of your health, chaewonnie~

From Minmin♥︎ August 2, 2015, 12:04AM: …. i miss you ╥_╥

The older girl finds herself wanting to laugh out loud, genuinely finding her situation ridiculous. She hasn’t been checking her phone all day, too busy being lost within her mind that she even forgets about her own birthday. She has been unintentionally ignoring her mom, her dad, her friends, and even Kim Minjoo – her kindest, brightest, sweetest, Minjoo who always checks on her. Chaewon wants to see her warm smile, hear her talk about nothing and everything for hours, and watch all the crappy movies she always complains about – she misses her home. 

Kim Chaewon almost presses the call button, but stops. Does she even have the right to do so? She doesn’t even have any idea what she’s doing with her life anymore, burdening someone she loves dearly would be the last thing she’d want to do – she couldn’t, and wouldn’t ever do that. Instead, she sends a message – the last piece of her vanishing act that she originally never intended to last for years. 

To Minmin♥︎ August 2, 2015, 1:01 AM: min, i can’t keep our promise. i’m sorry for making you wait

To Minmin♥︎ August 2, 2015, 1:01 AM:   thank you for always making me happy, i’m sure happy days are waiting for you. i miss you everyday

Kim Chaewon is here, she’s still here. She has always been on this uncertain path, still aimlessly wandering since that night six years ago – no specific purpose or destination in mind. She has somehow turned out just fine, just another grown up living her mundane everyday life and honestly.…she’s okay with it. It’d be a lie to say that she has never regretted any of her past actions, but if she’d be given a chance to alter her past? No, she wouldn’t take it – not  even in the slightest would she ever entertain the idea. 

Not when she roams the streets of Seoul and sees Minjoo’s beautiful face plastered across the city on countless advertisements, her colleagues would definitely just laugh at her (and call her delusional) if she ever mentions personally knowing the famous actress. Her success assures that Chaewon has made the right decision for the both of them, so she’d gladly pretend that she’s just another one of her millions of fans – always wishing the best for the actress. Yeah, exactly like what Kim Chaewon has been doing ever since she came back to Korea several years ago. 

“What if that’s not what she wants,” Hyeju makes her presence known by disrupting the older girl’s train of thoughts. 

Chaewon simply dismisses the kid’s question with a light shake of her head, quietly staring at the people boarding the bus as it halts right in front of the familiar bus stop that brings back way too many old memories for her. A lady wearing a white baseball cap catches her attention, the silhouette seems oddly familiar but it’s too far to say for sure – the girl doesn’t board the bus either, she remains standing beside the curb of the road as she wordlessly stares at a kid – bearing an oversized lilac hoodie, and an equally vibrant shade of purple (?) hair – waving goodbye to her through the windows of the bus. 

Wait, what?

“Huh??” Chaewon gasps upon noticing the striking resemblance between Hyeju and the other kid who just boarded the bus. "You have a twin???" 

“That’s right!!! My name’s Yerimie!!!!” The purple-headed kid cheerfully greets Chaewon, “Nice to meet you, Kim Chaewon-ssi.”

She laughs at the stark contrast between the twins’ personalities, “Nice to meet you too, Yerimie.” She should be weirded out by the fact that this kid also knows her full name, but she thinks she’d prefer her over the grumpy twin any time.

“Ya, I heard that! How dare you,” Hyeju complains. 

Yerim brightly chimes before Hyeju fires out of control, “You’re not the first one to say so, Chaewon-ssi. Hyeju, be nice~” 

The blazing morning sun pours through the uniform spaces in between the blinds of her window, awakening a sleep-deprived Chaewon from an already not-so-peaceful slumber. Last night's weird encounter with the grumpy kid – Hyeju, and her friendly twin – Yerim, has brought back a pile of regrets and pent-up emotions she has eagerly attempted to bury within the last six years. Most days, she doesn't even think about such memories – being too busy with work, and countless mundane things she willingly involves herself with – just boring things like helping out at her mom's academy, occasionally dog-sitting for the old lady next door, or brainstorming random ideas with her father on his new (which was built last year, but he still proudly calls it new) home studio. 

However, last night felt like some sort of a routine check on her – courtesy of two supernatural (?) kids who seem to know her way too much to be considered normal – ensuring that she doesn’t forget how things once were, and how she has to live with the consequences of the choices she has made. Unsurprisingly, thinking about the past didn’t make sleeping an easy task for her. Hence, she greets the rays of sunlight invading her bedroom with a frown as she lazily treads towards the window to close the blinds. 

Chaewon’s eyes remain half-closed, squinting to avoid the torturous glare of the sun, “What,,, when did I change curtains?” 

“What the hell,” Chaewon curses under her breath, rubbing her bleary eyes to make sure she’s seeing things correctly. 

She moved into her own apartment years ago, and the thing is….she doesn’t use window blinds? Was she so tired last night that she unknowingly went to her parent’s place instead of her own? Wait, that can’t be right? They haven’t used window blinds since they’ve moved to their new place either due to her mom’s sudden change of preference… unless…...it’s their old house???

Chaewon jolts backward in shock, causing her elbow to accidentally hit her bedside table – the brief pain that follows assures her that she is most certainly not dreaming. “Fuc,” she almost curses again but stops upon seeing a wooden white chess piece placed atop a folded paper. She immediately opens the note, sleepiness instantly leaving her system as the realization sinks in that she’s indeed in their old family home. 

You’re welcome.

You’ve been given a second chance. Stop being a coward, human. 

= Δ =   

-Hye

“Hye? Hyeju??? Just what did that brat do,” Chaewon starts to panic, her eyes roaming around her old bedroom as if she’s looking for something that could potentially help her from this unexpected situation. Her gaze stops at her old (?) phone lying on her bed, hastily picking it up to check the date – September 23, 2014. 

That's it. She's screwed. 

Before she could utter another string of curses, the blaring sound of the doorbell disrupts her line of thought – the repeated ringing becoming too annoying, leaving her no choice but to check what kind of lunatic would disturb her already chaotic morning. As if her day hasn’t been crazy enough, what (or who, rather) greets her on the other side of the door makes her want to scream even more. Chaewon squints her eyes, trying her best to figure out whether she’s seeing this properly – and she is! Thus, prompting her to abruptly shut the door. 

Kim??? Minjoo????

Chaewon quickly starts to panic, she could feel her energy dissipating into thin air every passing second she hears the repeated knocking on the door – after all, it’s her past asking to be let in. (Quite literally!) She didn’t sign up for any of this! The said “past” comes in the form of a familiar (too familiar, Chaewon would say) beautiful girl – hair disheveled, beads of sweat running down her face, hinting that she must have hurriedly ran all the way here; and a certain degree of desperation etched on her pretty features. 

Although it has been years since they’ve last seen each other, Kim Chaewon still doesn’t have the heart to just ignore the younger girl. Hyeju would definitely call her a hypocrite since she’s been ignoring the famous actress for years just fine, but that’s beside the point. That brat isn’t here to judge her poor life decisions, and more importantly, Minjoo…..is here. “Chaewon-unnie??? Can we please talk???” 

Chaewon’s mountain of regrets has rapidly grown taller through the past few years – just tall enough to know that she’d eventually regret opening the door but what else could she possibly do? Run away? Again???? No. “Close your eyes, breathe. You were a well-trained theater actress. Kim Chaewon, you got this,” she silently (and desperately) tries convincing herself to calm down.

Channeling her years of acting experience, she finally opens the door. “What are you doing here?”

Afraid that the girl would close the door again – and possibly never opening it once more for whatever reason – Minjoo surges forward, tackling Chaewon into a tight hug. She could feel the tears starting to form in her eyes, just too glad to hear the girl’s voice again. What, New York? Juilliard be damned, no amount of professional acting lessons could ever prepare Chaewon for this. All the metaphorical walls she has carefully put up start crumbling down upon noticing the red spots on the younger girl’s knee, she must have scraped it on the way here. Still as clumsy as ever, huh? Chaewon couldn’t help but laugh, gently tapping on Minjoo’s back, “I don’t know why you’re here, but let’s get your wound treated first. Okay?”

Due to being randomly (and not to mention, very much against her will) transported to the past, it took her a few minutes to rummage her things for the necessary items to treat Minjoo’s wound. Seven years has supposedly passed, yet Chaewon finds herself at the middle of the living room of the house she grew up in, nonchalantly applying some ointment to a girl whom she has sworn to just watch from afar. She wonders what kind of stupid prank the universe is up to, because…..just what the hell is going on??? Before she could even further curse the stars – planets, comets, mysterious grumpy creepy weird all-knowing brats, etc. – Minjoo winces in pain as the older girl begins to clean her wound. Chaewon quips, “You should be careful. You’re old enough to take care of yourself.”

Chaewon bites her tongue, reminding herself that the version of Kim Minjoo in front of her is the one from six years ago – not the superstar actress Kim Minjoo who has the world on her palm nor the twenty-seven-year-old Kim Minjoo whom she had no way of contacting ever again. A blatant lie. Of course, Chaewon knows if she reaches out, the younger girl wouldn’t chase her away. Minjoo has always been too kind for her own good, so a big part of Chaewon knows she wouldn’t, and shouldn’t, dare disrupt the famous actress’ shining life. Thus, she opts out doing what she does best – staying quiet. 

Minjoo shatters the silence with an unexpected question, “Unnie, do you really have to leave?”

She honestly doesn’t remember having this morning visit from Minjoo on the day she went back to New York, let alone having this certain conversation; but then again, Chaewon doesn’t remember much from during that time. Her time  in Juilliard has been reduced to nothing but a series of blurry days for her, especially now that over six years have already passed. Right, Minjoo must have worried a lot about her. Once she’s done covering the wound with a bandage, she stands up – ruffling Minjoo’s hair as if it isn’t messy enough already – she allows herself to act the way her twenty-one-year-old self would. That should be okay, right? Her lips curve into a gentle smile, “Are you worried about me? I’m fine. Broadway has always been my goal.” 

As expected, Minjoo remains quiet. The words that left Chaewon’s mouth evokes a familiar bitter taste at the back of her throat, but she shamelessly continues lying through her teeth, “Julliard is a good place to start.”

Minjoo’s voice grows hesitant, “What about staying here? Korea isn’t that bad either, right?”

Oh god, “isn’t that bad'' would be an understatement. It takes everything in Chaewon to stop herself from crying at the mere thought of spending the last six, seven, or eight years with Minjoo; it’s a possibility she’d die to have a chance for. However, now that she actually has the concession to do things differently, she just…. can’t. Her younger self has made irrational poor decisions all for the sake of something as stupid as “passion,” and it has utterly ruined her; but those were her decisions, and she has already processed, accepted, and lived with the consequences of her own actions. Kim Minjoo has a bright future ahead of her, Chaewon simply doesn’t have the heart to steal that from her – she can’t ruin her too. Not her.

She puts on her most nonchalant act, lowering herself on her haunches until she’s eye to eye with Minjoo, “What’s wrong? You know this has always been my plan. Our plan, even. Weren’t you encouraging me just weeks ago?”

“Then let’s change the plan? Let’s start again? Right now, today.” 

They can’t. Not when they’re six years too late. Maybe not even just six, no one can tell how far they exactly have to go back to make things right – even then, that kind of “right” would be too subjective and vague for anyone to define. Kim Chaewon could only ever hope that things go only the way she wishes, but that’s not how the world works. Instead of entertaining the tempting idea, she resorts to cracking a lighthearted joke, “Min, I know you’ll miss me a lot but don’t be like this. Come on.”

She shakes her head, refusing to believe the situation at hand. “You can’t do this to me. Not you, especially.” 

“Not you. I can’t ruin you.”

Kim Chaewon has never been one for cosmic theories or astronomy in general, but maybe in a different lifetime, in an alternate universe, the stars would let her live an uneventful life with Minjoo. No complications, no Julliard, no failed Broadway dream, no successful and glamorous celebrity life she's afraid to ruin – just none of all those not-so-silly-nor-trivial things. Just Chaewon and Minjoo, just two girls living a simple life loving each other.

But.

They're not in that world. They're here – and here, reality is far more cruel. The younger girl avoids her gaze, and Chaewon knows she'll have to save all those wistful wishes of a different life for her dreams at night. That's all she has ever been good at anyway, right? Dreaming. 

Finally finding the courage to directly look at the older girl, Minjoo clarifies, “Unnie, what do you mean?"

For music is all she has ever known her whole life, Chaewon conveniently uses it as an excuse to utter words that are anything but gentle. “Didn’t you say you’d want my autograph? How could you let me give up on my dream? Just like that?” 

Chaewon sees the younger girl’s expression quickly fall; her world seemingly shifting, breaking with the rumble of an earthquake. For she knows that there’s no other way out, the only thing Chaewon could give her is a resigned smile. “And I can never let you throw away your future just like that,” she’d admit, but she ultimately chooses to keep quiet. 

Minjoo tries to laugh it off, yet the intended lighthearted chuckle comes out as forced – grating even against her own ears, “I didn’t say that.” 

“I’m not asking you to give up music. I can’t do that. You can’t do that. All I want is what’s best for you.” For someone who acts for a living, oh-so-famous actress Kim Minjoo isn’t performing too well at keeping her emotions at bay – reminding Chaewon once again that the girl in front of her isn’t the superstar whose face is plastered all over Seoul. Nonetheless, she doesn’t dare interrupt with the actress’ honest beseeching.

“You are amazing. You always work hard. You are a really great person. I believe in you, I always do. I also believe you would succeed and achieve everything you’d ever wanted because that’s what you deserve.” Words just keep on spilling, wanting to be finally heard and acknowledged, yet Chaewon’s brain could only formulate two words she couldn’t even say out loud. 

“I’m sorry.”

A sudden surge of courage washing over Minjoo – she reaches for the older girl’s hand, a hopeful – pleading – smile painted across her lips, “All I want is what’s best for you. Does it really have to be what, New York? Julliard? I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m sorry.”

She’s not even sure anymore what she wants to particularly apologize for – sorry for what? For leaving everything behind to dumbly chase an uncertain dream, only to fail, then abandon everyone without proper explanation? For being a selfish coward who has made Minjoo wait for nothing, then suddenly disappear after a half-hearted message that explained nothing? Sorry for what, exactly? What now? 

Something in Minjoo’s resolute tone makes Chaewon quickly look up, racking her brain to find the right words to say – and she couldn’t, so she settles with simple honesty. “Min, I know you’re just worried and I appreciate you for that. Always.” She desperately tries to remain calm, speaking ever-so-softly for she’s afraid her voice would crack if she raises her voice just a little. Oh god, she can’t cry now – especially not in front of Minjoo. Not her. “….but I need to do this. I need to go.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ah, Chaewon finally remembers what she’s apologizing for. She has to leave the younger girl again, doesn’t she? Her rational self knows that it wouldn’t matter since everything has technically happened already anyway, and this is just some sort of weird (and distasteful, quite frankly) prank from a random all-knowing brat named Hyeju, but that doesn’t make this any easier. Not when she could feel Minjoo’s hand trembling and all she could offer was a light squeeze for she knew a hug would be too much – she has no right to attempt comforting her after leaving her hanging far too many times. 

Chaewon thinks it can’t get any worse than this, but the younger girl quickly proves otherwise. Words coming out as an anguished plea, the irrational part of her clouding everything she has ever known, Minjoo allows her reckless side to completely take over the situation. “Kim Chaewon, I love you. I always did. Will you please stay? For me?” The words tasted bitter against her own tongue, immediately regretting uttering such desperate words – she wishes to take them back, yet foolishly continues with her nonsense. “Stay….for us. Let’s be happy?”

Oh, god. For what felt like a minute or so, Kim Chaewon wonders what kind of deity she has offended in her past life to be subjected to this kind of suffering – the terrible ache that’s been sitting in her chest for far too long, finally going rampant upon hearing Minjoo’s confession. How awful must it be to be loved back by the person she cherishes most, yet all she could do is bury all the feelings and love she has for her. Kim Minjoo, the only proof Chaewon needed to know that there’s still something good for her in this life, her little reminder of how lovely the world still is, clinging onto her on the day the older girl is meant to head back to New York. In the darkest depths, her mind defyingly whispers, “Please, don’t let go,” but she knows better than listening to the longing voice within her. Kim Chaewon remains calm, her lips curving into a loving smile. “I’m sorry. I’m not canceling my flight, I still need to go. Thank you, really.”

She still would like to think that they are two souls intertwined in every universe; just maybe not in this one, right? This time, Chaewon chooses to properly say goodbye. For love has various languages, and perhaps this is her own profession of love – letting Minjoo go. “I know we’d live just fine. Someday, you’ll know that I’m right….and thank me for it,” she murmurs in a softer tone.

As daylight peaks through the horizon, varying shades of blue and orange begin to wash out the murky gray clouds of the night, marking the start of a new day. Somewhere in the middle of an empty park, two small figures wearing oversized hoodies remain baffled over the complexity of human emotions. Not even decades of watching over silly humans could ever possibly prepare the twins for such a result – or in this case, the lack of it. Time travel be damned, nothing has changed. The slightly shorter kid speaks, “Hyeju, I can’t believe you actually won. I thought I got this one for sure!!!”

Wait, Hyeju did expect this to some extent. In fact, she was looking forward to their demise – watching humans’ desperate attempts to alter the past, only to fumble, and realize how helpless they would always be when their opponent is time , has always been her favorite pastime; yet she just couldn’t find it in her to celebrate this win. Can she even consider this a win? It feels like watching a movie with a crappy ending, and she didn’t even like movies (or any of those humane things) to begin with. Yerim frowns, “Am I missing something? You don’t seem too happy about the result?”

Truthfully, Hyeju doesn’t understand it herself either – she has won the bet, but the usual satisfaction that comes with it is nowhere in sight. Ah, it must be her bad habit of needing things to go according to her plans. Until the very last moment, Kim Chaewon refused to change anything for whatever reason Hyeju just couldn't wrap her head around. That must be it, right? There’s no other valid explanation for her to be feeling this way, no way in hell she’s actually feeling some sort of sympathy for pathetic humans. Anyway, this game isn’t fun anymore, and she’s more annoyed than ever. Hyeju chides, “That was awful. Yikes, how annoying….”

Yes, she would certainly need to do something about it. 

The little deity silently walks away, the not-so-subtle hint of irritation still painted across her usually emotionless face. Her confused twin shouts from afar, “Ya! Where are you going?????”

Yerim finds her grumpy twin’s unusual reaction more amusing than their bet, so she doesn’t bother following her. It isn’t a secret that Earth is Hyeju’s least favorite place across all realms either, so where would she go anyway? 

As expected, the annoyed deity doesn’t have a lot of places to blow off some steam. She might end up accidentally blowing up the entire city at this rate, but she hates the idea of being punished for it, so her feet took her to a familiar bus stop instead – it’s none other than the one from Chaewon and Minjoo’s memories, as if Hyeju is hoping to find some sort of explanation that could fix her mood before she chooses a more violent (which might include making humans extinct) solution. However, what she finds is another cause of headache – a human, of course. And if that isn’t horrifying enough, she just happened to stumble upon another human named Chaewon.

“Can’t humans think of a better name than Chaewon, this world is doomed,” Hyeju mindlessly murmurs a bit too loud than intended. 

The other girl, wearing a bright yellow sweater, blue faded jeans, and white sneakers, long black hair neatly tucked behind ears, cheeks dusted with pink as the morning breeze grazes her pretty face – which quickly turns sour upon hearing Hyeju's remarks – looks at her incredulously. Eyebrows raised, her tone being far from friendly, "Excuse me, do I even know you??"

"The fuck is wrong with this brat??¿??" the stranger who's significantly taller and seemingly older (through humans' eyes, at least) than Hyeju, inwardly curses the deity for her unsolicited remarks regarding her name. Hyeju flares up, "Ya! Park Chaewon! You brat, did you just curse me????"

Said stranger is surprised upon the sudden mention of her full name, but she's not gonna let a short brat disrespect her, "You shrimp, did your parents not teach you to respect the elderly???"

"Did you just call me a shrimp???? You're not that tall either????"

For assault isn't on her bucket list, Park Chaewon tries her best to not smack the child's head, "It's too early for this. I'd rather practice for ten hours than deal with this spawn of Satan. Kids these days are just-"

"I'm literally older than you. I'm not Satan's spawn. My mom likes to nag, but she's not cool enough to be Satan. Which is ironic," Hyeju interjects. 

By this time, the girl could no longer ignore the fact that this kid is just too odd for her liking. She totally forgets her filter, "What the fuck are you?"

Of course, this Chaewon happens to be just as annoying. Are all Chaewons like this? The world is truly doomed! Hyeju snickers, "You curse too much for someone who wants to be an idol. Isn't that, I don't know, a taboo or something for y'all?"

"How did this dwarf even-"

The deity disrupts the girl's thoughts before she could even consider saying them out loud, "Oh, you're another hard working idiot too. Tell me, what do y'all work so blindly hard for?"

"It's not blindly ," Park Chaewon thinks it's pointless to discuss her dreams with a cynical weird brat who keeps on ruining her morning but she continues. "I can clearly see the future I want. So yeah, I just want to live without regrets. It's not that deep."

Not that deep, huh? Oh poor Park Chaewon, the universe isn't so kind. Hyeju bets Park wouldn't be saying that a few years from now – once her dreams fail her, take everything away from her, and make her regret putting her faith into naïve youthful ideals. Hyeju laughs, almost mockingly, "Even if you fail? Foolish hope could only bring you as far. It's pathetic."

Park knowingly shakes her head, stifling a giggle, "What do you suggest then?"

"Just let life take wherever it'd take you. Just live," Hyeju declares. All these years of closely watching humans has taught the deity one thing – dumb senseless things happen all the time – not even her, Yerim, nor their moms which are pretty much what humans would refer to as higher beings , could explain everything. (Or maybe they can, but they always tell Hyeju to go figure it out on her own.) For humans keep on forcing themselves to believe that things always happen for a reason, their regrets inevitably torment them everyday. 

Park Chaewon fails to stop the laughter bubbling up her chest, she finally allows herself to just laugh as if she just heard the most absurd thing – she genuinely thinks she just did. "To live without expecting, without wanting, without believing, is just a pathetic way to exist," she firmly states, her eyes brimming with an inexplicable sense of certainty that leaves Hyeju speechless – which almost never happens, but it did. It just did. 

The stranger haunches down to Hyeju's eye level, messing the kid's hair on purpose. Park Chaewon smiles, "Brat, that's what pathetic is." 

Ah, it's starting to make sense now. Living and existing are two different things, the idea just never occurred to her for she, an all too powerful being, has technically never done either of those. She just – is – across all realms. All these years, Hyeju thought humans are simply dumb. Perhaps just like them, she just got it all wrong as well. Who knows, maybe humans are not as bad as she thinks. Unknowingly, her hate towards humans slowly changes into curiosity. She has grown curious. Just curious. 

Yeah, curious enough to trespass the house of the dumber Chaewon – Kim Chaewon. 

Before anyone reports her to the cops, please do acknowledge that Hyeju comes in peace. No funny business here, she doesn't plan on burning down Chaewon's house or what, she just wants to talk some sense into her. Technically, she wouldn't be breaking any rules either. No more powers involved, no more time traveling against her will, no more silly tricks – just genuine curiosity. By refusing to change anything, to rewrite the past, to go after Minjoo, isn't Kim Chaewon being pathetic? 

Dumber Chaewon – Hyeju finds the term befitting, but she may or may not be playing favorites now, but who cares – almost spills her coffee upon seeing the strange kid in her living room, casually sitting cross-legged on her sofa as if she just didn't trick Chaewon into reliving a painful memory she has buried through the years. However, she now knows better than pissing off the weird kid. Who knows, Hyeju might impulsively send her into another trip down the memory lane. Or worse, teleport her into an alternate universe wherein she's a mighty general who needs to protect a princess from nasty murderous men, but said princess is secretly capable of killing those jerks with the fox powers she has inherited from her late mom and-

Hyeju has to stop her before she spirals even further, “Shhh, shut it. Will you stop???? That’s a very oddly specific plot. What kind of dramas have you been watching???”

“Well, why are you even here??? What do you want,” Chaewon throws her arms up in frustration. Surely, the kid isn’t here to drag her into another one of  her not-so-funny pranks involving time. Right??? Was that even a dream, or what? Anyway, Kim Chaewon could only take much – enough is enough. 

The deity defeatedly sighs, “No, it wasn’t a dream. Not exactly, at least.” The older girl squints her eyes at her, as if waiting for the kid to finally admit it’s just a silly prank and the cameras are hidden somewhere, ‘cause what the hell was that? What was THAT?! Hyeju shakes her head, “Believe whatever you want. If it helps, ya know, it actually goes both ways.” Chaewon looks dumbly at her, clearly not comprehending her last statement, thus she adds, “It just wasn’t you. Kim Minjoo also went back in time.” She makes sure to emphasize, “For you, idiot.” 

As realization ploddingly dawns on her, Chaewon’s lips curl up like two shriveled earthworms, her face quirking up into a painful smile, yet her eyes radiate a different emotion Hyeju can’t put a name on – not grimace, perhaps “relief” would be a much closer term. She remains quiet for a moment, her gaze fleeting towards the clear blue sky seen through the huge windows of her unit. Chaewon could barely form coherent words, coming out as hushed, almost a whisper, “Then I’m glad. I’m happy I did the right thing.” 

“I’m glad,” she repeats with finality, as if it’s an attempt to convince herself rather than the deity or anyone else. For a split moment, the terrible aching hell she must have been carrying for years peeked through the cracks, and Hyeju had to look away. “Stupid humans. Stupid emotions. This is stupid.” 

Except, Hyeju doesn’t voice out her annoyance for once, and lets the dumber Chaewon bask in her sadness just a tad bit longer until the older girl finds the courage to start talking again. “Honestly, I think I knew. I mean, if something like that actually happened years ago, I doubt I’d still go back to New York. Much less forget about it. Forget about her,” said stupid girl who keeps staring at her own hand – like she’s checking whether any of this is real, a hollow laugh ringing as she says the last sentence. How could anyone even dare think she could forget anything remotely related to Minjoo? 

Hyeju abruptly stands up from her seat, her voice unintentionally getting louder to get her point across, “If you like her so much, then what are you doing here? Don’t let her go? Why are you giving up? Are you dumb????”

“Exactly. I like her so much, so I can’t. I just can’t. I shouldn’t,” Chaewon calmly states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world – for her, it is. For she has always watched Minjoo from afar for all the years that have passed by, for she has witnessed how the once naive young girl has turned into the most resolute and determined woman who continuously reaches new heights each day, for she has known her enough to know that if she ever calls Minjoo and ask her to leave everything behind – she would, in a heartbeat, no questions asked. Simply because that’s who Kim Minjoo is, and Chaewon doesn’t want that. Thus, she opts out for the only way she’d allow herself to express her love for the girl she values most – letting her go. After all, ships at night are only meant to linger for a while, right? 

“No,” Hyeju deadpans. She had enough of this silliness, she’s not gonna take any more of this nonsense. She flares up, words just freely spilling out of frustration, “What I hear is, you’re telling me that you have 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds each day , lives in a giant floating rock with eight billion other humans just as stupid as you in the middle of galaxy, and your biggest problem is you can’t chase the girl you love because you’re too much of a wuss to actually try?????” 

It takes everything in Hyeju to not accidentally murder the dumber Chaewon, she resorted to finishing her rant for now. Again, for now. “Tell me, which is worse? An idiot who clings to the past, or an idiot who worries so much about the future?” 

Chaewon remains mummed, not understanding where this conversation is even heading. Thus, Hyeju answers on her own, “Neither. The person who doesn’t do anything is the worst. A dumb coward who doesn’t know what she actually wants. You, idiot, what do you want?”

Ah, that must be it. For Chaewon has grown used to losing the things and people she loves for as long as she could remember, she has eventually taught herself to give up wanting. Checkmate, no excuses left, she admits at last, “I don’t know. Am I still allowed to want things? I’m pathetic.” 

Hyeju remembers the words of the snarky girl who curses far too much for someone who’s supposed to be an aspiring idol – Park Chaewon, the less dumb Chaewon, the deity would say – her voice loudly ringing inside her head, as Hyeju uses the exact words that rendered her speechless, "To live without expecting, without wanting, without believing, is just a pathetic way to exist. Idiot, that's what pathetic is."

The little kid's words come rushing like a bucket of ice cold water being suddenly poured on a sleeping drunkard sprawled on the floor, who hasn't been sober for consecutive days, except the said drunkard – Kim Chaewon – is now completely awake, and is once again sober after consecutive years of being drunk over the misery brought upon by failed dreams and almost love stories. However, wouldn't it be too late? The universe has never favored her to begin with, perhaps she has already ran out of time to make things right. 

"Humans are really weird. Why are you in such a hurry? You have more than enough time. Just go do your thing, idiot. Whatever it is," Hyeju says in what's meant to be a reassuring nudge but ends up being another mocking hateful statement about her not-so-subtle dislike towards humans. Nonetheless, it still has served as a much needed push for the older girl to snap out of her foolish trance – almost like a validation, like a reminder that she's still allowed to want things. She might be incapable of changing the past, but isn't today technically tomorrow's past anyway? 

It's okay, Chaewon at least has a general idea of where she's heading. Her tomorrow starts now. 

A couple of days, weeks, months, later – on a freezing afternoon. 

At last, it happens. After months of Minjoo convincing herself that whatever mysterious shenanigan happened prior was nothing but a desperate dream of hers, the distant wistful delusion materializes, giving her enough reason to believe that perhaps she hasn’t gone insane yet. 

February has come, her birth month arrives with the usual coldness and hefty amount of snow winter season gifts to her every year. When the entire city is covered with a white blanket of snow, the streets being filled with people wrapped around layers of thick clothing to keep them warm, the distinction between day and night blurring out due to the consistent freezing temperature, the universe decided to disrupt her on arguably one of her busiest days as a celebrity – on her birthday event. She isn’t sure whether she’s just tired from having an eventful morning, but Minjoo could swear she caught a glimpse of a little kid wearing a familiar oversized purple hoodie amongst the crowd – Yerimie? She quickly discards the thought, almost finding it ridiculous for she couldn’t even say anymore whether the said child actually exists, her brain could be playing tricks on her for all she knows. Or, maybe she’s just hungry. 

Her manager passes over a subway sandwich and a hot cup of latte – nothing special, just the usual thing she gets during busy days. Minjoo thinks it’s better for her to grab a quick lunch this way, albeit way too late for it to still be called lunch , so she could immediately prepare for the afternoon fan signing session. She’s far too worried for her fans who had to line up on such a cold day, just so they could join her in celebrating her birthday. The actress figures that lessening their waiting time for even just a few minutes would be the least she could do. Her line of thought gets cut off short when she notices the white folder her manager is clutching, it appears to be a bit bulky, she concludes that maybe it’s a script for a new project. Being the ever so dedicated, and mostly just workaholic, actress that she is, Minjoo couldn’t help but ask about it, “Unnie, is that for a new movie?”

“Oh, actually no, but you’re still on your break. Don’t worry, we could discuss it later,” her manager simply reminds her. “Hey, eat slowly,” a concerned smile across her face as she urges the younger girl to continue eating. She’s starting to worry more about Minjoo these days, the actress has always been hard working to the point of neglecting her health for the sake of her craft sometimes, but it’s starting to feel like she’s using work to escape from something that’s been bothering her for the past few months. Heck, it’s her birthday but here she is eating a stale subway sandwich away from the rest of the production team, yet as if that isn’t sad enough, all the actress could ever talk or think about is still related to work. 

Minjoo tries to coax her manager unnie into letting her have a peak, “Can’t I at least know what it’s about? Pleaseee?”

Sometimes, her manager wonders whether she’s a manager or just actually raising her workaholic daughter, then she remembers working for Minjoo’s older sister years ago and realizes that Jiyeon and Minjoo are indeed sisters. Thankfully, she could stop worrying over Jiyeon for Luda is there to make sure that the older actress is not overdoing it. As for Minjoo, yeah, maybe she’d have to worry a little longer, “Alright, alright.” 

“It’s for a play. We know you’re good at singing, but you haven’t been into any plays yet. I don’t get it either. They said the producer specifically asked for you, maybe she’s a fan? I’ve heard she’s quite young too,” her manager explains, handing the thick folder to the actress. 

Minjoo gently reads the title typed out in big bold letters, “DAYLIGHT.”

As the actress silently skims through the pages, her manager unnie starts briefing her about the plot, “I did read parts of it last night, it’s about time travel. The classic friends to lovers trope with a bit of fantasy. Seems interesting.”

“Moon Jiwon. Moon Minji,” Minjoo tries to pronounce the names of the main characters. Oddly enough, something about it sounds familiar but she couldn’t exactly pinpoint what. 

Her manager unnie stifles a laugh, “Yeah, the writer doesn’t seem to have a good naming sense. I heard she was from Julliard though.” 

The mention of Juilliard immediately catches Minjoo’s attention, she blankly stares at the other girl for a good five seconds – unblinking, wondering whether she has heard her correctly. She clarifies, “Unnie, what’s the name of the producer again?” 

“Who knows. She’s more of a writer who works with her famous composer father, but they just refer to her as PD Kim,” her manager offhandedly shrugs. The sudden shift in Minjoo’s demeanor doesn’t pass by her observant eyes, “Uhm, is everything okay?” 

Minjoo doesn’t answer, quickly focusing on reading the script at hand, trying to look for something that could confirm the most obvious conclusion brewing inside her head. It can’t be, this can’t be. No way. Surely, it must be some sort of silly coincidence. The only thing that could be heard in the waiting room is the rustling of papers as the actress tries to hastily read each page, desperately looking for any proof that she hasn’t completely lost her mind yet – everything matches up, perhaps a bit way too much to dismiss this all as a mere coincidence. She mindlessly mumbles the name of the characters, as if they were purposely altered in an obvious manner, as if it’s meant for someone to easily understand, and that in itself proves a glaringly obvious point, “Hyeji, Hyerim, Minji, Jiwon?.......Chaewon? Kim Chaewon?”

The actress gets up from her seat with what could only be described as a sense of urgency written all over her pretty face – heels clicking, hurried steps towards the door, leaving behind her startled manager. The older girl yells, “Where are you going? We’d start in fifteen minutes!”

The reminder halts Minjoo from her tracks, hand still tightly grasping the door knob, her mind going on overdrive as she weighs out the consequences of what she’s about to do. “I know. Just give me ten minutes,” she gives her manager a pleading look, if anyone looks close enough, perhaps they’d notice the tears threatening to spill anytime.

With that, the actress heads out of the room despite not having any particular idea where she should go. Just when she’s about to mindlessly wander around the venue, a familiar bright shade of purple welcomes her at the halls – Yerim. The little kid cheerfully greets her, “Unnie, I’ve been waiting for you.” 

“Kim Chaewon. Where is she?” As much as she’s happy to see Yerim again after months of radio silence, she’s not exactly the person Minjoo is looking for right now. Knowing this, the little kid giggles upon the lack of pleasantries. Yerim urges the actress to go, slightly pushing her towards the area where she should be, “The event is starting. Don’t worry, unnie. Just enjoy your day. Happy birthday!” 

A stubborn part of her wants to protest, but the kid’s optimism is enough to reassure her that things would work out just fine. Chaewon wouldn’t leave that script to her for no reason, right? She has already waited too long – years even – to get this far, a couple more hours should be nothing if it means she’d finally get to see the older girl again. Minjoo simply nods, putting her trust into the little deity’s words. Not too far from where she stands, she caught a glimpse of Yerim’s twin – Hyeju – just boredly watching the whole thing unwrap. 

As Kim Minjoo bids one of her fans goodbye with a warm smile painted across her lips, she discreetly glances at her watch – the event is almost over, the fans are already being ushered away from her table. Kim Chaewon is still nowhere in sight, yet Minjoo finds herself still somehow holding on to the hope that the girl would eventually show up. Yerim wouldn’t lie, right? Or, would she? 

Her last fan for the evening is a woman wearing a beige coat with a white sweatshirt underneath, bearing short black hair, her snapback pulled down way too low, almost covering half of her face. Too caught up with the idea of Yerim lying to her, Minjoo had yet to properly address tonight’s last fan. Her photobook appears at the table before the actress even gets the chance to look up at the woman, startling Minjoo from her thoughts. She quirks a shy smile, as if she’s been caught doing something she isn’t supposed to. Still in a bit of a daze, Minjoo proceeds to flip to the first page of the photobook, finally greeting the woman, “Hi, what’s your name?” 

“Moon Jiwon,” she says, her voice soft and gentle. 

After years of not hearing that oh-so-familiar soft voice, Minjoo thought she would have forgotten it by now. The actress is quickly proven wrong when the sound sends a shiver down her spine – almost freezing her in place – a testament of how much effect the girl still has over her, an undeniable proof of how much she still misses her, even now that she’s standing right in front of her. Slowly tilting her head up, the actress releases the breath she’s been holding in. She doesn’t look too different from the Chaewon living inside Minjoo’s memories – except her hair is shorter, carries a more composed and matured aura around her, and probably a bit taller than she remembers. At last, she’s here. Kim Chaewon is here, and just like that, the weight of the past years without her slowly dissipates into thin air. 

Minjoo smiles, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Chaewon simply mimics her greeting with a placid smile of her own, causing both of them to just laugh. If an outsider would see them, they’d be nothing but two fools laughing for no good reason, but it doesn’t matter. For they’re here, right at this moment, together. 

“What happens next to Jiwon and Minji? Spoil me,” the actress jokingly demands once the fits of laughter subsided. 

Kim Chaewon pauses for a few seconds – as if carefully choosing her next words – but is actually just taking the sight of the girl she cherishes most in front of her. “Jiwon becomes a doctor on an island, and Minji becomes an alcoholic passing out in front of a convenience store on said island.”

With a subtle shake of her head, Minjoo interjects, “You’re lying. Minji doesn’t drink that much. How does the story end then?”

“Oh, they all die at the end,” Chaewon deadpans, making Minjoo laugh so much as if she just heard an award-winning joke. They both know they aren’t making any sense, but somehow, they get it. They just do. After all, that’s how things have always been for them anyway. Chaewon and Minjoo, they just make everything work – they simply do. 

Thus, Chaewon now realizes how dumb it is to think that she could just silently root for the other girl from afar. No, she needs to come closer. So much closer. Close enough to be here by her side, close enough to reach for her hand, “Min, I’ve missed you so much.” 

“I know,” Minjoo gives her hand a light squeeze, a reassuring smile etched across her pretty features as if wordlessly saying, “I’ve missed you too.” It needs not to be said, Chaewon knows. 

In the same way that Minjoo already knows the next words spilling out of Chaewon’s mouth, yet it still feels surreal to finally hear them out loud. This time, no more pretense, no more excuses, no more complications, just complete honesty, “Kim Minjoo, I love you too.” 

She has waited for years to hear those words, Minjoo gets the right to tease her a little more, “Is that also Jiwon’s line?”

“Nope, it’s Chaewon’s,” the older girl chimes back. The actress quickly looks around, checking first whether everyone has already gone home except for her own production team. Her manager unnie winks at her from afar, thus signaling her to just go for it – and she does. 

Minjoo gently pulls down Chaewon’s coat to bring the girl to her level, stealing a quick kiss to seal the deal. “Okay, I’ll take it then.”

Not too far from where the commotion is happening, two figures wearing matching white coats stand atop a thirty-storey building, watching over everything down there – the new couple being disgustingly sweet, the actress’ production team cheering and hyping them up, the little deities standing outside the venue with contented smiles of their own – oh look, even Hyeju is smiling. The shorter of the two affectionately beams, “Awwyy, our babies seem to be happy. Even our little grumpy Hyeju seems content with this result!”

“Jiwoo, you’re spoiling them too much. They still broke the rules, we have to punish them,” the taller one sternly says, as if she isn’t just as pleased with the way things panned out. The twin’s intervention has actually saved her more time, but they don’t need to know that. Rules are still rules, and they have broken them by meddling with matters concerning humans.

Jiwoo laughs at her wife’s faux strictness, she finds it endearing how the taller woman is refusing to admit that the twins’ reckless action has yielded wonderful results this time. She snuggles closer to her wife, “Oh dear, we both know those two humans are bound to make it work anyway. One is too stubborn, and the other one can’t ever say no to her anyway. At some point, they still would have been together no matter what. You know that, Sooyoung.” 

Sooyoung – being someone who also can’t ever say no to her wife – defeatedly sighs, “I know, love. Still, we have to properly address Hyeju’s recklessness. Yerim is Yerim, our little sunshine would be just fine, but Hyeju…”

“Hyeju, our adorable dark cloud, you’re just concerned about her, I know,” Jiwoo finishes her wife’s line of thought. 

The other woman finally asks, “What shall we do?” 

“That. You know. It’s time,” Jiwoo playfully winks, making it clear she’s talking exactly about that.

“Are we finally sending Hyeju to Earth? I’m not sure if she’s ready to meet her,” Sooyoung reluctantly states. Despite how stuck up she comes across at times, she still worries so much for their beloved children – especially Hyeju. 

Without looking at her wife, Jiwoo simply shrugs, “Eh, she already met her. How do you think Hyeju ended up helping humans? You know how much she hates them.” Upon remembering Hyeju being rendered speechless, Jiwoo chuckles, “Her version this time is much more intense than the previous ones.” 

“Oh, I already like her. She sounds perfect for our Hyeju,” Sooyoung laughs.

Heaven, wait.
Only a word, a sign, I need to know.
Could I have known?
That I was going to fall for you?
You're secretive, I know.
Your world's a place I don't belong.
Even though, I will never let go.