Work Text:
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?
It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?
«Everybody quiet!»
The theatre was indeed quiet for a second before it was interrupted by the sound of heels on the floor as Miss Jenn got up from her seat and walked over to the stage.
“Seb, Honey?”
Seb swallowed nervously and felt his hands get sweaty where they were fiddling with the edges of his flannel.
“Yes?”
Miss Jenn smiled.
"I know we're only in a theatre and there is no actual set yet but I'm gonna need you to shout like you are actually standing on top of the cafeteria, okay? Sharpay wants to silence the whole room, not just the first few rows."
Seb sighed internally. He knew that. He had seen the movie enough times to know how Sharpay did it. He could hear Ashley Tisdale's powerful voice in his mind when he closed his eyes. That wasn't the problem.
"Let's try again?"
Seb nodded, took a deep breath and shared a look with Rico next to him.
He could do this, right? It was just two words. Just two silly little words.
"Let's take it from the last chorus before Sharpay's cue, places everybody!" Miss Jenn clapped her hands and went back to her desk, taking a seat next to Carlos.
Seb let his eyes dart over to the choreographer for a second, his heart skipping a beat when their eyes met and Carlos gave him an encouraging smile. Seb couldn't help but smile back before taking his place as the music started again.
"Hey."
Seb looked up from zipping his bag to see Carlos standing in front of him, backpack slung over his shoulder.
"Hi," he said, forcing a smile.
Carlos took a step closer and propped himself up on the piano, arms crossed.
“You alright?”
Seb sighed.
No. He was not alright. Rehearsal had been a mess and even after the third try Miss Jenn hadn't looked satisfied with his "Everybody quiet!". She had tried to hide it behind a smile but Seb wasn't stupid. He could see right through it.
And he could see in the faces of his fellow cast members that he didn't quite radiate Sharpay's energy and fierceness and the worst part about it was that he could feel that they were right.
"I'm gonna get it eventually." Seb shrugged and finished zipping his bag, throwing it over his shoulder.
Avoiding Carlos' gaze he turned to follow the other drama kids who filtered out of the theatre but the other boy held him back, grabbing his arm and gently turning him back around so he had to face Carlos again.
"Seb, you are an amazing Sharpay, you know that, right?"
Seb snorted.
"Am I? Not even Miss Jenn thinks so right now and she's the one who cast me."
Carlos raised an eyebrow.
"I cast you too," he said, the brown of his eyes radiating warmth.
"And I did that because the moment you stepped onto that stage I knew you could do it. And I still believe that."
Seb felt his tense muscles relax a little bit and he let out a deep breath.
"I just don't know how to do it," he admitted quietly.
Carlos cocked his head to the side and frowned.
"What do you mean?"
Seb adjusted the strap of his backpack, avoiding Carlos' gaze to hide his embarrassment.
"Like, to scream?" he explained, barely above a whisper.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Well, have you ever screamed into a pillow?"
Seb looked up to see Carlos look at him questioningly.
Slowly, he nodded.
"Well, then you know how to do it." Carlos shrugged like that was the easiest thing ever.
Seb shook his head.
"But that's not the same though."
Carlos laughed.
"Oh, believe me, it is! Come on, I'll show you."
And with that, Carlos dropped his bag to the floor, stepped away from the piano and walked onto the stage that was now empty as the rest of the drama club had left already.
"Uhm...o-okay?" Seb watched as Carlos stopped centre-stage, facing the rows of empty seats.
When Seb didn't make a move to join him, Carlos waved him over.
"Come on!"
Reluctantly, Seb dropped his bag on the piano bench and walked over to the other boy, uncomfortably fiddling with his flannel as he didn't know what exactly was about to happen.
"So," Carlos said. "When you scream into your pillow, it muffles the sound, right?”
Seb nodded. That was kind of the whole point, wasn`t it? That nobody could hear it.
"Great. So, now you got to do it without muffling it. Just scream out loud."
Seb frowned confused.
"But I have a line I need to say."
Carlos nodded.
"Yeah I know, we'll get to that later. It's easier if you scream without it first. You need to feel the real energy. Ready?"
Seb's eyes widened.
"For what?" he asked, taken aback.
"For screaming. Mine sounds like that."
And before Seb could get in another word, Carlos closed his eyes and let out a short high-pitched scream.
He turned to Seb and smiled.
"Ta-da!"
The blonde boy just stared at him for a second, trying to understand what had just happened, the sound of the scream still ringing from the walls and in his ears.
It wasn`t like it surprised him. He had heard Carlos come very close to screaming in rehearsals before, especially when it came to yelling at the dancers for doing the wrong steps or when he was trying to make himself heard when everyone was chattering and not paying attention.
But this was different. This was less...controlled. But still with the same force.
"Now you." Carlos made a the stage is yours gesture.
"Uhm...." Seb shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
"Do I have to?" he asked, nervously.
“No.” Carlos nudged his shoulder.
“But you are allowed to.”
He smiled encouragingly.
Seb took a deep breath.
“Okay. I`m gonna…”
He looked at Carlos for confirmation who nodded. Go.
The scream was short and nowhere near as loud as Carlos` but it was still more audible than when it was muffled by Seb`s pillow.
“Like that?” Seb asked, unsure.
“Yes…that was a scream.”
Seb could sense a but somewhere in there.
Like Carlos` had read his mind he added
“But it was all in there.” Carlos pointed to his head.
“And where it needs to come from is here.” He put a hand on his chest.
“From the heart.”
Seb frowned.
“Why?”
“So people can hear you.”
Seb swallowed. That was exactly what he was afraid of. He never wanted to get loud, to let all of this slip out. Because usually when people screamed, it was because they were angry or upset. Or hurt. And he did not want to hurt anyone.
“But…I can`t scream at people from the heart. That…that doesn`t work. I don`t want to do that. ”
Carlos smiled softly.
“That`s not what I meant. It`s not about screaming just to scream, it is more about…making yourself be heard. Do you get what I mean?”
Carlos scratched his head in thought.
Seb considered it. Well if you looked at it that way…there really was a difference.
“You mean…you scream because of…of what you have to say and not because of what they want to hear from you?”
Seb frowned, trying to wrap his head around what he had just said. This was all so confusing.
But Carlos seemed to have understood because he smiled and nodded excitedly.
“Yes, yes that is exactly what I meant, Seb!”
A smile crept on Seb`s face.
“Oh.”
“Sooo…” Carlos clapped his hands.
“Let`s try this again and this time let`s think about something you really want to scream out loud from your heart.” Carlos patted his chest. “Because you want people to know about it.”
Seb`s heartbeat instantly quickened. What did his heart want to scream out loud? His mind blanked and he ran a nervous hand through his hair. There were things…but there was no way he would have the confidence to say them out loud. At least not right now. He-
“Do you want to do it together?” Carlos interrupted his thought, having noticed Seb`s hesitation.
Seb blinked.
“What?”
“The screaming. Wanna do it together?” Carlos asked and adjusted his glasses.
“Oh. Okay.”
Carlos smiled and turned to face the empty audience. Seb did the same thing, his hand brushing lightly against Carlos` as they were standing next to each other.
“On three?”
Seb nodded.
“Okay. One – two – three.”
Their joined scream cut through the silence like a gunshot. At first, Carlos` scream was way louder than Seb`s, but then the blonde boy remembered his advice. His question. What do you want to scream from your heart?
And when he looked over at the other boy screaming on top of his lung with his eyes closed he suddenly knew exactly what his heart wanted to let the world know.
His voice grew more and more powerful, holding onto that scream that vibrated in his chest and he closed his eyes as well, making the rows of seats disappear, making the whole world disappear until all he saw was a cafeteria below himself, filled with people staring at him but all he could see was a boy with chocolate coloured eyes looking up to him, smiling widely.
After a moment Seb ran out of breath and his scream died down as he was gasping for air. He bent over slightly, breathing heavily and opened his eyes. That was when he saw Carlos, looking at him with a proud smile on his lips. Seb hadn`t even noticed that the other boy had stopped screaming, leaving only Seb`s voice to be carried through the empty theatre.
“That was…a big scream,” Carlos commented.
Seb grinned, still catching his breath, his whole body vibrating with energy.
“It felt…powerful?” he said, surprised that this had actually come out of his mouth. Of his chest. Of his heart.
And it had felt so good.
“Well, that was a scream coming from a lion`s heart.” Carlos chuckled.
Seb smiled bashfully, looking down at his shoes, trying to get his racing heart to slow down.
“I must`ve been a pretty big message had to say,” Carlos added, voice quieter, almost a whisper.
Seb`s heart fluttered and he dared to lift his head, meeting Carlos` eyes.
“Yeah…yeah, I think it was.”
The sudden silence that followed was deafening, only disturbed by the sound of their breathing.
Seb found himself unable to break eye contact with Carlos although he knew that the moment to break away had long gone. But the other boy didn`t make a move to do so either.
Seb swallowed. Should he…? Was it…
The sound of the stage door slamming shut broke through the silence. Both of their heads snapped around, looking at the person standing in front of them.
Natalie rolled her eyes when she saw them.
“I should`ve known it was you two screaming around in the theatre.”
Seb instantly blushed in embarrassment, now realising that their screams had probably been heard outside of the auditorium but Carlos just crossed his arms in front of his chest and rolled his eyes.
“Oh come on Natalie, you are just jealous of our flawless voices.”
Natalie raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, no that was not what I meant. Anyway, clear the stage, I have to check some things.” She waved dismissively.
Carlos snorted and went over to the piano to get his bag without further comment. Seb followed suit, sending his friend a helpless glance when he walked out of the theatre after Carlos. Natalie just gave him a We`ll talk about this later look.
Carlos stopped just a foot out of the door in the hallway so Seb nearly stumbled into him. When caught himself he saw that Carlos was staring at his phone.
“Shoot, I was supposed to meet up with Miss Jenn right after rehearsal.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah…” Carlos looked up from his phone with an apologetic smile. “Do you mind I run?”
Seb`s heart sunk but he nodded.
“No, sure, go ahead,” he said.
Carlos smiled relieved.
“Thanks. See you tomorrow!” And a second later he was already rushing past him down the hallway.
“Uh, see you?” Seb turned around to look after the boy walking away fast, the soles of his converse squeaking slightly on the floor.
A sudden urge following, Seb heard himself call after him before he could disappear around the corner.
“Hey, Carlos?”
Carlos stopped and turned his head.
“Yes?”
Seb felt his pulse quicken as he was put on the spot. He took a deep breath.
“T-thanks.”
The choreographer smiled.
“-for, you know.” Seb made a waving gesture. “For showing me how to…how to make myself be heard. I mean, I will probably never be as good at it as you are, but…”
Carlos smile softened and he turned around some more, so he was really facing Seb.
“You`re welcome. And well, it may seem like I am really good at it but…” he shuffled his foot. “it`s not always as easy as it looks. But I try.”
Seb frowned. He did remember some moments where it hadn`t been easy for Carlos. Like the whole forest of boys incident for example. Or just every time he was giving the upperclassmen directions and they gave back snarky comments.
“Well, maybe we can...try together,” Seb said.
Carlos cocked his head and smiled.
“Yeah…yeah, maybe we can.”
There was a moment of silence before Carlos shook his head.
“Anyway, I think Miss Jenn really needs me now, so…”
“Oh yeah, sure.” Seb smiled apologetically. “I don`t want to hold you back.”
Carlos smiled.
“It`s fine. So, see you tomorrow, Sharpay.”
He waved and turned around, this time running more than walking down the hallway.
Seb watched him do so until he disappeared around the corner without moving. Then he felt his phone chime in his pocket.
Natalie: So…what exactly was that in the theatre?
Seb smiled and typed back.
Seb: I think I know what I need to do about my problem.
Natalie: Wait about what? The Sharpay thing or the Carlos thing?
Seb: They might both be the same answer.
Natalie: Huh??
Seb grinned and pocketed his phone. He didn`t know how to explain it, but he knew it was true.
Now he only had to figure out how to go about it. Because even though they were both pretty similar problems, they weren`t the same. On one hand, he might have to silence a whole cafeteria but on the other hand…
He felt his heart beat faster.
On the other hand, he had to silence his head. All his fears and doubts. So that it was silent enough that he could let his heart speak. Because his heart, tt had something really important to say. And it wasn`t as willing to hold it back anymore as it had been.