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Something strange was going on with Neil Josten.
This wasn’t too shocking, since Neil Josten was a fucking strange dude, but this time Andrew was annoyed because he didn’t know what the strange thing was.
It seemed to be a common theme with Neil fucking Josten. Him showing up with fake eyes and fake hair and lies in every word.
That was all annoying, but at least that was all explained by Kevin and Neil and now Andrew knew what the fuck had happened. Neil’s asshole father was finally dead and he made a deal with the FBI, so all the strange stuff should be done with.
Andrew was stupid to be so naïve.
It started off pretty harmless. Neil ducking out of the occasional team hang. Andrew didn’t think much of it, except that Neil usually ditched the team to hang out with Andrew so they could be antisocial together.
Yet, when Neil turned down a movie night because he ‘had plans,’ he didn’t join Andrew on the roof so they could smoke or trade truths.
Andrew wasn’t disappointed or anything. He was just annoyed that Neil never explained what those ‘plans’ were.
Things got even more suspicious when Neil joined the team for lunch in the cafeteria and his hair had been cut and styled, now an undercut with tousled curls on top that Andrew tried not to think about touching.
“You look nice,” Matt said, honest but confused. “I like the hair.”
Neil shifted uncomfortably, eyes down. “Thanks.”
The others exchanged looks, clearly waiting for an explanation. Andrew rolled his eyes and didn’t get involved. It was just a haircut, who cared?
It was Allison who spoke up, being Allison.
“Pretty stylish. Getting dolled up for someone?”
Neil’s face contorted into his typical confusion whenever romance was mentioned.
“It’s just a haircut,” he said slowly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.
“It’s just odd,” Allison went on. “Since we have to practically kidnap you to take you shopping.”
“Well, maybe if you asked nicely instead…”
“Can I take you shopping?”
Neil leveled a look at her. “No.”
Andrew held back a snort. Neil always kept things interesting.
“Wait,” Dan said. “Did someone ask you nicely? Is that why you got a haircut?”
Neil froze and Andrew found himself increasingly more invested in the proceedings. It was heightened by Neil’s phone pinging.
The entire team was there, which meant that, besides Wymack and Abby, everyone Neil knew was in front of him. So, who was texting?
Neil looked at the message and didn’t react beyond standing back up.
“I gotta go.”
“You just got here,” Dan pointed out.
“Yeah,” Allison crossed her arms. “What, you get a better offer?”
“Not better,” Neil said. “Just less inquisitive.”
And then he left, leaving the Foxes to exchange confused looks. Except Andrew, who was focused on his lunch.
Andrew didn’t care about Neil’s haircut or his other plans, but he did care that there was a secret. Given that the last secret Neil kept led to him being beaten and tortured, Andrew felt he had a right to worry.
He hoped that it was something stupid, but then Neil became increasingly attached to his phone.
It wasn’t drastic, since anything was an improvement on Neil having a phone that was constantly dead or left in the dorms, but it was noticeable.
When they were at Eden’s, Neil was sitting at the table hunched over his phone and texting. It was just Andrew’s crew, so he might have been texting Matt or Allison.
Then, after practice, Neil sat on the locker room bench, still in his sweaty uniform, reading a message.
All the Foxes were there, save the girls in their own room. Who the hell was he texting?
Andrew clearly wasn’t the only curious one. Kevin glared at Neil and actually spoke up.
“Who are you texting?”
Neil looked up, seeming surprised by the question.
“What?”
“You. Texting. You don’t know anyone besides us.”
“Oh,” Neil glanced at his phone before putting it away. “Just a classmate asking about notes.”
Andrew narrowed his eyes. Neil was a good liar, but Andrew felt he was observant enough to tell. It seemed like Neil was telling the truth, but something still felt off.
“Aw, Neil,” Nicky leaned over to bump shoulders. “You’re making friends all on your own? So grown up.”
“Whatever,” Neil mumbled, getting up to go shower.
Later that night, Andrew and Neil were smoking on the roof, which seemed like the perfect time to confront him.
“Truth?”
Neil blinked, the smoke curling around his face as though to frame it.
“Do I have any truths left?”
Andrew shrugged. “You can ask first if you want.”
Neil tilted his head in thought for a moment before smiling.
“Do you like Taylor Swift?”
“Boring,” Andrew scoffed. “I’m not ashamed of it.”
“Maybe not,” Neil said. “But you wouldn’t admit it.”
That was fair.
“Your turn. And before you ask, Yes, I also like Taylor Swift, but I haven’t heard any of her new albums yet. Nicky is working on introducing me to mainstream media.”
Andrew rolled his eyes. “Who are you always texting?”
“What?”
“You’re always texting someone. Who is it?”
Neil blinked at him, clearly confused. “I text multiple people. I guess Nicky the most, because he’s chatty.”
“You know that’s not what I mean. Besides the Foxes, you keep texting someone.”
“I text a few people. Jean, Jeremy, sometimes my uncle. A couple classmates.”
Andrew had to resist the urge to pull at his hair. He wasn’t frustrated because he didn’t care, but something had to be up.
“Can I see your phone?”
Neil handed it over, clearly believing he had nothing to hide. Or maybe he just trusted Andrew that much, but Andrew wasn’t going to think about that.
He looked through the messages and saw exactly as Neil said. A message to an unknown number of “All good,” so likely his uncle. Nicky was at the top with a string of emojis, Matt just below followed by the other Foxes.
Then there were others. Jean and Jeremy, of course, as well as some random names that Andrew had to believe were classmates. The most recent one just said “Thanks for saving me” and was from a ‘Callum’. Andrew assumed Neil gave him notes for something.
Andrew wasn’t going to search through each thread, so he just gave Neil his phone back.
“Why have you been acting weird lately?”
“How am I weird? Because I’m using my phone?”
Yes, Andrew thought but didn’t say. Maybe it was just that Neil was settled now that he was safe(r). Maybe Andrew was just thrown by the fact that the Foxes weren’t the only friends Neil had.
“Whatever,” he said.
Neil’s smile was far too amused. “Does rooting through my phone count as more than one truth?”
“No,” Andrew said, feeling annoyed.
They were silent until they went back inside.
Andrew hoped he had just been jumping to conclusions, but then things got even worse. It was a week later and the Foxes were in Matt’s room, bickering over what movie to watch, when Neil’s phone pinged.
He checked it and seemed to get sucked into a conversation, unaware of the fighting around him stopping.
When Neil finally looked up, his eyes widened at everyone staring at him. Andrew crossed his arms and held back a huff.
“What?”
“Who are you texting?” Allison tried to peer over his shoulder at the screen. “Did you finally get a girlfriend?”
“Don’t be rude, Allison,” Nicky broke in. “It could be his boyfriend.”
Andrew waited for Neil to give his usual response to all things romantic, but it never came. Instead, Neil froze, looked down at his phone, and then turned white.
Nicky choked on air. “What? No way!”
“I have to go,” Neil said. He was gone before anyone could stop him, likely because they were all too shocked to move.
“What the hell,” Matt stated.
“Neil is dating someone?” Nicky was practically shaking with excitement. “We have to meet them.”
Andrew felt his insides turn to stone. He couldn’t help feeling slightly annoyed that he spent all this time ignoring his feelings because Neil ‘doesn’t swing’ and now somebody else has swooped in and taken him.
Not that he actually had feelings for Neil. Definitely not emotional ones. He just wanted to sleep with him, no big deal. Nothing a random hook-up wouldn’t solve, as soon as Andrew could bring himself to hook up with someone while his mind revolved around Neil.
Andrew decided to leave, too, suddenly not in the mood for a movie. He went to the roof instead, partly hoping Neil would be there waiting for him.
He wasn’t.
They didn’t see much of Neil outside of practice and even then he refused to talk about what had happened. He was clearly using Exy as a distraction, the junkie, and played harder than ever. Kevin was happy, so he probably didn’t care who Neil was dating. Unlike everyone else.
“Maybe it’s Jean. They did get close while Neil was at Evermore.”
“No way,” Matt said. “Jean is not Neil’s type.”
Nicky laughed. “Do any of us even know what Neil’s type is?”
“Exy,” Dan stated.
They were all sitting on the court, discussing Neil, since he’d run off as soon as they were dismissed.
“True,” Renee spoke up. Andrew glared at her for contributing, but was ignored. “It’s probably an Exy player, since this is Neil we’re talking about.”
“At least we know it’s definitely not a Fox,” Aaron grumbled, already annoyed with the topic of discussion.
“Not us,” Matt said, gesturing to himself and Dan. “We tried to get him as a third, but it went right over his head.”
“Gross,” Aaron said, earning a jab from Dan. Andrew glared at her, but she just raised an eyebrow. He opted to let it go, even though he agreed with Aaron’s sentiment. Neil did not belong to Dan and Matt.
“And we know it’s not Aaron, though that would be hilarious,” Allison laughed. “And it’s not Nicky because he’s in love or whatever.”
“I mean, Neil would be on my exception list, but Andrew would kill me.”
He wasn’t wrong.
Andrew found everyone looking at him expectantly and realized they thought he was Neil’s secret lover. Jeez, he wished.
“No.”
They accepted that, since Andrew wasn’t one to outright lie. Nicky continued his previous theory.
“That’s why I say Jean. Definitely one of the Trojans. No way is Neil dating a Raven or, oh god, a Jackal.”
“Jeremy is pretty hot,” Matt pointed out.
“Maybe we could just ask him,” Renee said. “Or respect his privacy until he’s ready to tell us?”
The team exchanged looks and Renee sighed.
The conversation resumed.
Once it was accepted that any mention of Neil’s secret lover would send the guy running, they restricted their theories to behind his back so they could actually spend time with him again.
Neil was still avoiding being alone with Andrew, though. He was probably scared that Andrew would use their truth game to ask who Neil was dating. It was a fair assumption.
Andrew kept a close eye on Neil, trying to figure out who he spent time with enough to count as a partner. He never saw any of the Trojans roaming around campus and that theory seemed the most likely.
Even though Kevin was determined to stay out of it, they managed to bribe him with Exy practice so he would text Jean.
That was a dead end, since it turned out Jean and Jeremy were dating each other. Unless Neil had chosen their triangle over Dan and Matt’s, they were out of the running.
Andrew retained his calm, uninterested exterior, but inside he felt like he was slowly going mad. He missed Neil.
After class, he went with Kevin and Nicky to get coffee when he heard a sharp gasp from his cousin.
“Oh my god. Guys. Look. ”
They followed his gaze and Andrew’s fist clenched.
Neil was in the corner, sitting at a table and talking to some guy. He wasn’t a Trojan, Andrew had never even seen him before. He was fairly tall, but thin for an athlete. His hair was covered by a freaking beanie and his hands had multiple rings.
Hands that were inching closer to where Neil’s rested on the table.
Andrew figured he should leave before he punched this guy in the throat, but unfortunately he was with Nicky, who was an idiot and walking towards the pair.
“Neil, buddy! What are you doing here?”
Neil looked up, clearly surprised to see them. He didn’t seem panicked or frightened, though, so that was something.
“Hey guys. Just grabbing a coffee.”
“Of course,” Nicky grinned, turning to the beanie dude.
“We’re Neil’s teammates. I’m Nicky. And you are?”
The guy blinked, shaking Nicky’s offered hand before grinning at Neil.
“You don’t talk about me, babe?”
Neil’s face went red. “I don’t talk about anything.”
He clearly wanted them to leave, but beanie dude turned to introduce himself.
“I’m Callum, Neil’s boyfriend.”
Andrew was pretty proud of Nicky for managing to hold back a loud squeal. Well, he would be proud if he didn’t feel like his heart had turned to ash in his chest.
He had been hoping they were wrong, that Neil wasn’t seeing anyone.
But here he was. Beanie dude. Callum .
Andrew looked at Neil, who was staring at his mug with a blank expression. This was clearly awkward for him, so he wouldn’t be able to get a proper sense of Neil and Callum’s dynamic.
“Come on,” Andrew tugged on Nicky’s sleeve. “We should leave them to their date.”
Nicky wasn’t happy, but he listened. Neil shot him a pained, but grateful look.
Once they were out of earshot, Kevin finally spoke.
“I don’t recognize him.”
Nicky raised an eyebrow. “Should you?”
Kevin shrugged. “I thought it would be someone we knew.”
They took their place in line and Nicky immediately pulled out his phone. Andrew figured Neil’s secret boyfriend was not so secret anymore.
Andrew was proved right. He almost felt bad for Neil, who walked into their dorm to see all the Foxes sitting expectantly. He’d feel worse if he wasn’t furious at Neil for the secrecy.
“Fine,” Neil said. “You get two minutes of questions or until I’m annoyed, whichever comes first.”
Kevin managed to speak first.
“What team is he on?”
Neil blinked. “What do you mean?”
Kevin took a slow breath. “As in, what team does he play for?”
“He’s… gay?”
Andrew hated Neil so much.
“He means Exy, dumbass.”
“Oh,” Neil said. “He doesn’t play Exy.”
That sent the team reeling. Even Aaron, who gave no shits about this, gaped at Neil.
“What?” Matt asked. “What sport does he play?”
“None. He’s not an athlete.”
“What the fuck,” Nicky said. “You’re dating someone who doesn’t play Exy.”
“I’m not- Why does it matter?”
“All you care about is Exy,” Allison pointed out. “What do you even talk about?”
“We don’t really talk much.”
Andrew dug his nails into his palms as Nicky gave a lewd look.
“Not like that,” Neil wrinkled his nose. “We just hang out. He’s in my Spanish class, so we talk about that.”
“What does he even do?” Allison spoke as she typed on her phone, likely trying to find the guy online. “This Callum ?”
“He’s just taking some courses here to get a degree while he’s in beauty school.”
“Beauty school?” That caught Allison’s attention.
“Yeah. He’s the one who cut my hair. He needed to practice.”
“Oh my god,” Allison clutched her chest dramatically. “You’re dating an artist.”
Neil rolled his eyes at the reaction. “Can I go now?”
“No way,” Nicky said. “How long have you been dating?”
Andrew stayed silent, but couldn’t help watching Neil closely for his reaction. He was curious as to how long he’d been lied to.
Not that he cared. Neil could date whoever the fuck he wanted. Could not talk with whoever the fuck he wanted.
Neil, however, suddenly looked uncomfortable.
“I’m, uh, not really sure.”
Matt frowned. “What do you mean? When was your first date?”
“I don’t know.”
“What the hell?” Aaron had finally given up the pretense of not caring. Things were getting interesting.
Neil nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Can you guys not judge?”
“We will,” Allison said. “But tell us anyway.”
“I… didn’t know we were dating. At least, not until he called me his boyfriend this morning.”
Andrew was tempted to walk out right then because what the fuck. He stayed , though, because he was interested. He was always interested in Neil, the asshole.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t know?” Dan clarified.
“I thought we were friends. We studied, we talked, it was no big deal.”
“And then?”
“I mean, he hugged me and sometimes held my hand? But Matt does that all the time, so I figured it was fine.”
Everyone looked at Matt, who shrugged.
“Wouldn’t he have tried to kiss you?” Nicky asked.
“He knows I’m not into that. I came out to him a while back.”
“Out? As what?”
“Demisexual,” Neil’s voice was quiet, only heard because everyone was straining to listen. “I figured it would be easier to give a label, since we weren’t close and he had questions.”
“Well, clearly you’re close now,” Allison pointed out, easily changing the topic away from Neil’s sexuality since he clearly didn’t want to talk about it. Andrew couldn’t help being impressed by her tact.
Neil was demi, though. Andrew knew the term, since he’d read it once and never forgot. It meant Neil could swing, under specific circumstances. Andrew might have had a chance, if not for his inability to emotionally connect with anyone.
Also. Callum.
“So you just thought you were friends who were sometimes touchy and then he called you his boyfriend this morning?” Matt summed it up nicely.
“I was suspicious before. He mentioned inviting me over for Christmas, which was a bit weird. Then you made the comment about me texting my boyfriend and…”
“Holy shit,” Allison said. “You’re an idiot.”
“And now I’m leaving.”
Neil turned around and left. Andrew didn’t feel like listening to the Foxes prattle on about the new information, so he followed Neil. They headed for the roof.
Andrew said nothing as they sat next to each other. He held out a cigarette, but Neil didn’t take it. Andrew put his own unlit one back into the box.
Finally, Andrew spoke. “Truth?”
Neil nodded.
“Do you like him?”
Neil took a moment to gather his thoughts.
“He’s nice. He’s really nice. When I suspected we were dating, I knew I should ask him, but what if I was wrong? What if I was right? I didn’t want to hurt him.”
“So you like him.”
“As a friend I do. Dating… I’d never considered it.”
“Because he doesn’t play Exy?”
“Yes,” Neil said honestly. “But also he’s so… soft. I slept over at his place once, I was too tired to walk home, and I had a nightmare. It happens often enough, but he was worried. He held me and comforted me and said it would all be okay but-”
“That didn’t help,” Andrew finished. He felt cold at the thought of someone else holding Neil close, protecting him, but he pushed it away. He understood what Neil meant.
“It didn’t. I know that’s what people usually want after a nightmare but it just felt like empty words. Sure, the cuddling was nice, but my nightmares are based on so much reality and-”
“You’re not okay.” Andrew didn’t mean it as an insult and Neil didn’t take it as one. They understood each other.
“I’m going to have to break up with him, aren’t I?”
“Up to you,” Andrew said, like it wasn’t what he wanted.
“He’s nice. I do like him.” Neil sighed. “I wish that was enough.”
“Just tell him you don’t swing.”
“Even though I apparently do?”
Andrew didn’t want to ask the next question, especially while playing the truth game, but he did anyway.
“Do you want to sleep with him?”
Neil was quiet again. When he spoke, his voice was even.
“I’m not as against it as I normally am. I feel close to him, but it wouldn’t be fair knowing that he wants more.”
“So you’ll break up with him.”
“I guess. I’m not sure how to do that.”
Andrew resisted the urge to shake Neil in frustration.
“You can’t stay with him out of sheer awkwardness.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Neil.”
“It’s not just awkwardness,” Neil said. “Maybe in time I’ll like him more. Besides, I haven’t had any other opportunities for a lasting relationship so-”
Andrew snorted, interrupting Neil.
“What?”
“You’re an idiot,” Andrew said. “You’ve had tons of opportunities.”
Neil actually looked confused by the statement because he was the stupidest person Andrew had ever met.
“When?”
“Half the Vixens, for one. That guy in your history class who kept bugging Kevin for your number until I told him to fuck off. Dan and Matt wanted you to be their third, I’m sure Allison wouldn’t say no to getting with you.” And I have too many stupid feelings for you, Andrew didn’t say.
Neil thought about that. “But I don’t like any of them that way. I mean, maybe Matt and Dan, but I don’t think polyamory is my thing.”
Andrew resolved to never tell anyone that, lest Matt and Dan have hope.
“So this Callum is the only person you have any interest in?”
“That feels the same? It would seem so.”
Andrew swallowed at the clarification. “You got a lot of unrequited crushes, junkie?”
“You’re using up a lot of your truths, Minyard.”
“Do you want to ask something?”
Neil looked at him. “Do you want me to date Callum?”
“I don’t want anything.”
Neil rephrased. “Do you think I should date Callum?”
“I think it might make you happy, for a while. I don’t think you’d be content.”
“What would make me content, then?”
Andrew could say no, could refuse to answer the question. Instead, he found that he wanted to be honest.
“You’re a lot of trouble, Josten. You need someone who can put up with your shit, call you out when you’re being an idiot. You need someone who can stop you from getting killed every damn week.”
“So I should hire a bodyguard?”
“You need someone who makes you feel safe.”
There was a soft breath and then, “That sounds a lot like you.”
Andrew was silent.
“Too bad you hate me.”
“Every inch of you,” Andrew said. Then, because Neil’s idiocy was contagious: “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”
Neil froze next to him. Andrew mentally hit himself for being so stupid.
“You like me?”
“That’s not what I said,” Andrew pointed out.
“Right. You’d blow me. And that’s it? A quick blowjob and then we go our separate ways?”
No, Andrew thought. Out loud, he said “Doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen.”
“You’re right,” Neil said. “At least, not until I break up with my boyfriend.”
Andrew breathed slowly. “You think your boyfriend is why I won’t blow you?”
“It can be an obstacle for people. Is there another reason?”
They were talking around the issue and Andrew hated it. He wanted to just ask, but he also didn’t want to play all his cards. He wasn’t sure whether he could go all in on this when the stakes were so high.
“You said you wouldn’t sleep with Callum because it wouldn’t be fair.”
“Because he likes me.”
“So is it fair for you to sleep with me?”
Neil blinked. “I thought it would be, since I figured I’d be the only one hurt.”
Andrew didn’t want to talk around it anymore.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Yes,” Neil said. Andrew moved, but Neil held up a hand. “After I break up with Callum.”
“You didn’t even know you were dating,” Andrew said, impatient.
“No, but I know that we’re friends. I won’t hurt him.”
“I can break up with him for you,” Andrew said, already picking out knives in his head.
“I just said I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Yeah, so I’ll do it.”
Neil rolled his eyes. “I’ll break up with him tonight. Then we can discuss that offer on the table.”
“Which one?”
Neil winked, which was not fair from someone so stupid.
Andrew hated him. But he was still going to blow him.