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Nigel curses under his breath, failing for the third time to light his cigarette. It's freezing out, and his hands shake a bit as the lighter sparks uselessly in his grip. After a few more frustrating attempts it finally fucking catches, allowing him to take a long drag. The smoke blends with the fog of his breath, rising into the night air in a cloud that catches the cyan light of the neon overhead. He can still hear the music out here, the din of that awful club mix muffled through the glass. He sighs.
Getting out of Bucharest was undeniably the right play, and he's grateful that Darko was willing to reincarnate their operation elsewhere, but it's empty work as of late. There's no point guessing at the reason, either. His fire's gone- left him feeling cold and grey and more than a little scarred. Not that he'd ever say that he fucking missed her. He tips his head back, shuts his eyes. The door opens and closes beside him, giving him a clear taste of the sound inside before muffling it once more. Another drunken fool out for a smoke, he reckons when he hears a sharp sigh and the thud of a back hitting the brick wall. He takes another drag, lost in his thoughts.
"Can you blow your smoke the other way? It smells terrible."
Nigel opens his eyes, pushing away from the wall. He's already on edge, so the rude comment has him ready to fight in an instant.
"The fuck did you just say to me-"
Beautiful. The kind of beautiful that stops him dead in his tracks and leeches every ounce of anger from him. Smooth pale skin and soft pink lips and a head of dark curls that he just wants his fingers to get lost in.
"I said I'd appreciate it if you blew your smoke the other way. The smell makes me feel nauseated and I'm already feeling unwell," the angel in the alleyway reiterates, and Nigel is speechless for a moment. The kid barely looks fazed by the momentary intimidation- either he's got more balls than half the people Nigel's encountered or he genuinely didn't get that it was a rhetorical fucking question.
A smirk rises to his lips and he settles back against the wall, a bit closer to the angel than he was before. "Sure thing, gorgeous. Whatever you say."
He nods sharply. "Thank you."
Nigel eyes him. He's staring at the ground, posture straight as a board. His arms are crossed across his chest, gripping his forearms so tight his knuckles are turning white.
"Needed some fresh air?" he prods.
The other man nods again.
It's quiet for a minute. Nigel turns his head to exhale, sending the smoke down the alley per the angel's request. A couple of women stumble into the street, letting out the sound of the club again. The other man flinches, winding his arms impossibly tighter around himself. He sighs shakily, and Nigel tracks how his frost-pink lips form his words.
"It's very loud in there."
Nigel chuckles and the angel's frown deepens. "Yeah, tends to be the case with nightclubs."
"I wouldn't know, I've never been to one before."
"Well, lucky me that you decided to come to mine."
He turns his head to face Nigel at that, but those big blue eyes settle on his chin and don't drift any higher. "You own this club?"
Nigel nods. "Sure do."
The angel doesn't look impressed. Some part of Nigel takes that as a challenge. "You should tell them not to play the music so loud, it makes it difficult to talk and I can feel it buzzing in my chest which is very distracting."
Nigel laughs. The blue-eyed beauty looks back down at the ground, and it may be the winter air but his cheeks are a good deal rosier than they were before. "Thanks for the feedback gorgeous, I'll keep that in mind."
Another long pause. He watches as the other man steadily relaxes, letting go of his arms and moving to fiddle with the sleeves of his sweater. After a bit, Nigel's exhausted his cigarette. He considers lighting another, just to give him an excuse to stay in the alley a bit longer, but he actually does have some work to be doing. He grinds the butt of the cigarette under his boot, pushing off the wall once more and making for the door.
"Well, have a good night, darlin'-"
"I don't want to go back in there," he confesses. His voice is quiet, soft. It makes Nigel's heart twist unexpectedly. "I don't...I don't like loud places. I feel like I can't breathe in there."
Nigel shrugs. "So don't go back in. The club scene's not for you, that's okay. It's not for a lot of people." He chuckles weakly. "Starting to think it's not for me anymore, to be honest."
He falters. "M-my girlfriend Beth makes me try new things. She says I'm too attached to my routine, so she makes me go to restaurants and parties and...clubs."
His hand is on the door, ready to push it open and walk back in. "Well you tried it, didn't you? Just didn't like it. Sounds like you did what she wanted to me."
"Beth told me that we have to stay for at least an hour before we can leave."
He lets go of the door handle. Turns back to the angel. Something about that doesn't sit right with him. "What's your name, gorgeous?"
A soft hand reaches out, arm stiff like he's practiced propper form a thousand times. "I'm Adam. It's nice to meet you."
Nigel smiles. His flat way of speaking is sort of cute, now that's he's sat with it for a few minutes. He shakes the hand, squeezes it a little. "Nigel. Pleasure's all mine."
He opens his cigarette case, lured back in enough to say that work can wait. "How much time do you have left before she said you're allowed to leave, Adam?"
"Forty-four minutes."
Nigel frowns to himself. He's been out here smoking for about ten, which means Adam braved the club for all of five minutes before making a break for it. "You looked like you were about to pass out when you came out here, this girlfriend of yours doesn't care about that?"
Adam shrugs. "She cares. Beth says that doing things you don't like is part of life. That I need to get used to it."
He huffs. This Beth girl sounds like a right fucking cunt to him, but he keeps himself from saying so. "You know what else is a part of life? Making your own decisions. You wanna stay out here, stay out here. Don't go in just because somebody else wants you to."
Adam hesitates. Nigel takes the opportunity to step closer, crowding him just a bit. He notices the way the younger man tenses but doesn't back away, eyes landing on the cigarette hanging from his lips.
"Tell you what- I'll join you. We can stay out here in the alley until Beth is ready to leave. Keep talking- or not talk, if you'd like," he adds, savoring the way Adam flushes even deeper.
"That...that sounds nice," he admits hesitantly.
"Lot fuckin' better than going in, right?"
Adam nods, then smiles. A beat too late, like it's an afterthought. It makes Nigel's pulse pick up, and he mentally berates himself for it.
No love. No fucking love. Not in this life.
The door opens, nearly knocks him in the shoulder. Nigel hardly notices. Adam coughs a little, and Nigel tosses the cigarette to his feet, crushing it so he can stand closer without making this angel uncomfortable.
"Adam, there you are!"
Nigel bites his tongue to keep from cursing. A young brunette grabs Adam by the shoulder, tugging him toward the door.
"You can't just hide in the alley all night! Come on, at least try to have some fun."
"I'm not hiding!" Adam objects. "I just-"
"I want to dance, Adam, please?"
"I don't want to dance," Adam protests. The girl doesn't pay him any mind.
"You'll have fun, just try it-"
"He said he doesn't wanna dance," Nigel mutters before he can stop himself.
Adam and Beth both freeze.
"Can I help you?" Beth spits, glaring at him.
"Yeah, leave him the hell alone, it'd be very fucking helpful."
She stares at him for a moment before huffing, turning her attention to Adam. "Come on, don't worry about him, let's go."
Adam looks distressed. Nigel feels a spark catch in his gut. The new heat spurs him on.
"She's your girlfriend, Adam, not your fucking mother."
Beth looks furious. "Not that it's any of your god damn business," she hisses. "But Adam needs to be encouraged to leave his comfort zone. He has Autism."
Nigel scoffs. "Yeah? I've got a nicotine addiction, you don't see any uptight bitches trying to tell me I can't smoke if I wanna smoke."
He looks to Adam. The argument seems like it's upsetting him even more than the music at this point, so Nigel relents. He takes a step back, hands up.
"But hey, none of my god damn business, right? Have a good night, Adam."
Adam just nods, flashing another half-second-late smile, and then he's gone. Part of Nigel wants to go after him. He tries to shake it.
No. Fucking. Love.
He stands in the alley for a few minutes. Considers smoking another cigarette. Walks back inside.
He vows to spend the next half hour trying to focus on work. To avoid scanning the crowd. To not look for dark curls and a porcelain face and a smile that trails half a breath behind.
He lasts a good fifteen before he catches a glimpse of that soft-looking grey sweater from the corner of his vision.
Adam's off to the side of the dance floor, trying to speak with someone. It's not Beth, Nigel doesn't see her anywhere nearby. His voice is raised in attempt to win out over the music. He's different from how he was earlier- animated, gesturing with his hands and speaking very quickly. He's adorable. Nigel can't make himself resist.
He strides closer, easing his way into Adam's orbit. The music drowns him out until Nigel comes quite close to him, but Adam doesn't seem to notice him.
"But even though it's technically at what's considered to be 'peak visibility', its proximity to the sun actually makes Mercury harder to see at those times. If you actually wanted to get a clear view of Mercury- well, it would depend on what sort of telescope you had..."
Nigel grins. Adam's voice, strained though it may be, has adopted a new warmth. He looks suddenly very comfortable, even in this stressful environment. He listens to Adam speak for a while, excitedly listing facts and figures with perfect recall. Shit, there must be a whole library's worth of knowledge in that pretty little head. The guy he's talking to looks about ready to fall asleep where he's standing, but Nigel's completely focused on that lovely mouth- if not the words leaving it.
And then Beth emerges from the crowd and comes to stand beside him. She tugs on Adam's shoulder, gives him a very pointed look, and he stops cold. His face falls in an instant, he falters. Nigel wants to bring his joy back so badly it aches. He grits his teeth.
"Um...but that's enough about Mercury," he mumbles, looking back at Beth as if for confirmation. She smiles patiently in return. Pleased, like he's being obedient.
"Actually," Nigel says, stepping forward, "I wanted to know more."
Beth stares daggers at him. Adam perks up immediately, that sweet delayed grin rising as his eyes settle on Nigel's neck tattoo. "Oh, hello Nigel. What did you want to know about?"
"Adam," Beth says, low and clipped. A warning.
"Just pick up right where you left off, gorgeous."
The way his eyes twinkle at the request makes Nigel feel like he's seeing his own fucking stars.
"Oh, well-"
"Adam."
Adam glances her way with a slight frown and she sighs in exhaustion.
"He's not actually asking you to keep talking, babe. He's being sarcastic."
His frown deepens.
"He's making fun of you," she clarifies, visibly annoyed.
Nigel doesn't give the look of disappointment a chance to settle on Adam's features before he's stepping closer to Beth, looming over her.
"Do I look like I'm joking to you? You see me laughing?"
She takes a small step back, face hard. "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but-"
"My fuckin' problem is that I've had to watch you treat this guy like shit for the past half hour and I've had just about enough of it," he says, and he can't remember the last time he felt this worked up over something. Not since Gabi left him for that little American prick.
It feels good.
"Just because you don't give a shit about what he wants doesn't mean I don't, alright?"
Beth swallows hard, taking another step back. He can practically feel Adam's eyes drilling a hole into his back. He sighs through his nose, tries to calm down the wild sparks in his chest before they can catch on something. The last thing he wants is to burn anyone.
"Do you want to get out of here, gorgeous?" he asks, turning to look at Adam. Poor angel looks like a deer in headlights. He fidgets under Nigel and Beth's combined attention.
"You don't have to, if you wanna stay," Nigel says, hoping it'll keep him from fainting on the dance floor. "But if you want, I'll take you somewhere quiet and you can tell me about the stars."
Adam frowns for a moment, tugging at his sleeves as he thinks. Beth seems exasperated. "Seriously, Adam? You don't even know this guy-"
"I want to leave," he blurts, glancing at Nigel's nose and giving him a soft smile a moment later.
Nigel keeps from looking smug, but it's a near thing. "Sounds good, lead the way Darling."
Adam makes for the exit, and Nigel nods to Beth with a slight smirk before following.
-
It's late, and the side streets are mostly empty save for the two of them. Adam's attention flits around restlessly, never lying somewhere for long. Nigel's is trained solely on the man beside him.
"I gotta tell you, Adam, that girlfriend of yours is a real piece of work," he says after a few silent minutes.
Adam frowns, like he doesn't understand.
"I'm trying to say she's a bitch."
His eyes widen a little in recognition. "Oh."
Nigel makes a mental note to be more literal around Adam. He doesn't know much about Autism but he imagines it gets real fucking tiring having to puzzle out what the hell people mean when you're just trying to have a conversation.
Adam shrugs. "She's usually nicer to me," he says. Nigel tries to take that in stride.
"...She used to be nicer to me, I mean."
He nods. "Happens a lot in relationships. Some people just aren't right for each other."
The other man doesn't respond for a minute, eyes narrowed like he's gathering his thoughts.
"I don't think Beth understands that I have Autism all of the time," He says at last, unsure, like it's a question. "She acts like I can just turn it off if I try hard enough, but it's not that easy. And even if it was I wouldn't want to just flip the switch whenever she wanted. She makes me act like a different person. She didn't used to do that."
"Christ. You're a grown man, Adam, not a child. She can't tell you how to act."
"That's what I try to tell her!" Adam says, voice rising just a fraction. "She just tells me that my life won't be fulfilling if I don't try new things. But I like my life how it is. Mostly."
Nigel shakes his head. "She shouldn't have expected you to spend the night in that dingy-ass club anyway."
"She wants me to improve my social skills."
He shrugs. "Your social skills seem fine to me. I mean, look at us- practically strangers, for now. We're getting along, aren't we?"
Adam nods, gives a nervous smile that makes Nigel's heart skip a handful of beats. "People don't usually like me."
"Why's that your responsibility? If people don't like you, they can get the fuck over it. Plenty of people don't like me, I'm not changing a thing for them."
"I like you."
A heat creeps up Nigel's neck. Christ, he's blushing, like a fucking schoolboy. He takes a slow breath. Reaches down and takes Adam's hand. The other man flinches for a moment, but quickly relaxes and lets their fingers thread together.
"I'm glad to hear that, Adam. I like you too."
Adam looks up at the sky. "Can I talk about stars now?"
Nigel can't help it. He laughs. He catches the way Adam frowns in response, face flushing again. "I'm not making fun of you, I promise," Nigel clarifies when his chuckle dies out. "I'm laughing because I'm happy, alright? Go ahead, gorgeous. I'm listening."
"Oh." Adam relaxes easily, squeezing at Nigel's hand. "Okay, do you know about constellations?"
"I can guarantee I don't know as much about 'em as you do."
"That's probably true," Adam says simply. It doesn't seem like it's an insult, just a fact that Adam is aware of. He points to a cluster of bright stars overhead. "Up there is Orion. You've probably heard of that one."
"Orion's Belt, sure."
Adam nods, eyes so glued to the sky that Nigel's worried he'll trip over something. "Well, just South of Alnilam- that's the middle star in the belt- is the Orion Nebula. That's the highest visibility nebula in the night sky. It's approximately one thousand, three hundred, forty-four light-years from Earth, but if it wasn't for all the light pollution you could see it even without the aid of a telescope."
"Spend a lot of time looking at it, don't you gorgeous?"
Adam grins- a wide, lovely thing that stretches across his cheeks and narrows his eyes. "Yes, I do. It's very, very pretty."
Nigel has trouble imagining that anything could be prettier than what he's seeing right now. "You'll have to show me sometime."
"There are some high-quality images online, you should look it up," he offers quickly.
Nigel nods, deciding not to press it. "Alright."
"But it's more fun looking at it through a telescope. On a new moon, when the sky is really dark, I set up mine in the park near my house. I look at lots of things- planets, constellations. It's nice."
He almost sighs at the idea of stargazing with Adam. He coughs, tries to catch himself before he can start daydreaming. "Sounds like it is."
Nigel runs a thumb across Adam's knuckles. The other man shivers.
"Do you see that very bright star, Southeast of the belt?"
Nigel glances up from Adam to the follow his direction. He nods.
"That's Rigel. It's the seventh brightest star visible from Earth- anywhere from sixty thousand to three hundred-sixty thousand times as luminous as the sun, depending on the night. Its core hydrogen is already depleted, so it'll die soon, and leave a black hole or a neutron star behind."
Nigel hums, savoring the warm, excited sound of Adam's voice.
"I've been talking too much, haven't I?"
Nigel frowns at the other man, now staring at the sidewalk as it passes beneath their feet.
"I don't pay attention to how much I'm talking when I get excited. We can talk about something else now, if you want."
"I like your passion, gorgeous. Talk as much as you want."
"You use that word a lot."
"Pardon?"
Adam looks back up at him, speaking to the center of his forehead. Nigel tries not to blush at the sight of those beautiful blue eyes trained on him. "You've called me 'gorgeous' eight times tonight, Nigel."
His attempt to stave off the blush is a miserable failure. "Have I?"
The other man nods.
"Does it bother you?"
He frowns, turning his focus forward again. "I haven't decided yet," he mutters. "No one has ever called me gorgeous before, it feels strange."
"I could call you something else, if you like."
"Gorgeous is fine, for now."
They walk in silence for a few long minutes. Adam is frowning to himself again, and it makes Nigel feel a tendril of worry crawl up his spine.
"A lot of people assume that space is completely silent, aside from collisions and supernovae," Adam says after a while. "It isn't, though. Lots of things you wouldn't expect to make sounds are actually very loud. Jupiter's electromagnetic field makes a noise that carries for millions of miles past the planet's surface, for example."
"Fascinating. You're a very intelligent person, Adam," Nigel says, hoping the flattery will keep him talking.
Adam just nods. "Earth makes a sound, too. The tectonic plates, shifting and expanding and contracting- it's very, very loud. Humans and animals have evolved to ignore it, but it's there."
He curses to himself. Something about the idea of it- a massive, droning sound that he can't make his mind recognize- it makes his skin crawl. "That's- Fuck, that's terrifying."
Adam clutches Nigel's hand more tightly.
"...Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person who can't tune it out."
Nigel falters. He tries to think of something to say, something to lift the spirits of this earthbound angel, looking to the heavens like he's homesick.
"You're staring at me," Adam says before Nigel can respond. "You've been staring at me all evening."
He smiles. "Guilty as charged."
Adam huffs. "Can you stop, please?"
It feels like getting slapped in the fucking face. Nigel fixes his gaze on the sidewalk ahead of them, blushing in mortification. "Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, gorgeous, you're just so nice to look at."
"No, it's not that. I just-"
He sighs.
"I have trouble with eye contact. Looking someone in the eyes makes me very uncomfortable, especially if it's someone I don't know that well. I can't get a good look at you if you keep staring at me, and I want to look at you."
Nigel chuckles when the words set in, feels a grin tug at his cheek. "Well go ahead, get a fuckin' eyeful."
"Thank you."
It takes everything in him to keep from glancing over. He can see Adam in his periphery, staring up at him, studying his hard features. Nigel wants to get his fill, wants to see that face when he closes his eyes tonight.
"You're very attractive, Nigel" Adam says after a few seconds. "I thought that you were attractive when I saw you in the alley, too. I don't usually like cigarettes, but you made smoking look quite appealing. I almost thought about asking for one, but I was very nauseated at the time."
Nigel can't fight his smile. "Yeah, well it's a filthy habit. You're better off not trying it."
Adam stops walking so abruptly that it yanks at Nigel's arm.
"Nigel?"
He pauses beside him, frowning down at his angel. "Everything alright?"
Adam chews his lip for a moment. "I...I have a lot of issues figuring out how other people are feeling," he says softly. "I want to know how you're feeling right now, so I don't make the wrong assumption."
Nigel steps closer. "You wanna know how I'm feeling?" he echos, smirking.
Adam nods, curls bouncing in the light of a nearby streetlamp. The bulb buzzes, mirroring the hum of Nigel's blood.
He tilts Adam's jaw up with the tips of two gentle fingers, bringing their lips together. It's soft, quick. Nigel still feels dizzier than he has in ages. Adam sighs when their lips meet and fuck, his lips are cold from the night air but they're so perfect on Nigel's own. He brings the hand that isn't still gripping Nigel's for dear life to settle on his shoulder, steadying himself. The sound of the Earth could be rattling in his ears for all he can hear over the hammering of his heart.
Not Fucking Love, but something very fucking good.
Adam doesn't pull away when they part, blushing and a bit off-kilter. He lets Nigel press their foreheads together, lets him savor the image of Adam's full lower lip catching in his teeth.
"I feel like I wanna do that again," Nigel breathes.
And in an instant, Adam is gone. He backs away a few steps, eyes wide and fingers ghosting over his lips. "I... that was bad."
He huffs. "Everybody's a fuckin' critic."
Adam shakes his head forcefully. "No, no- I mean, that was...I enjoyed kissing you, Nigel. A lot. B-but I have a girlfriend."
Nigel sighs. Right, the cunt from the club. "You deserve to be treated better than she treats you, Adam."
Adam starts fidgeting with his sleeves. "I think...I think I want to go home now."
He surrenders, fueled by a desire to stay in his good graces. "Alright, let's turn around. My car's at the club, I'll give you a lift."
He winces. "I'd rather walk. I don't live far from here."
Nigel's protective side wants to refuse. "Pretty little thing like you, walking home alone at night?"
Adam looks determined. The last thing Nigel wants to do is force him in to anything. He sighs, reaches into his back pocket.
"At least take this, yeah?" he says, holding his lucky pocket knife out to the other man. "If anybody tries to give you any trouble, just show 'em this knife and tell them that Nigel's gonna fucking hear about it."
Adam takes it, looking at the handle. It's personalized, Nigel's name is carved into the wood. He traces the carving as he speaks. "How will you hear about it?"
Nigel smiles. "Good point. Give me your hand."
Adam holds out a nervous palm, and Nigel pulls a pen from his coat pocket. He jots down his number on pale skin, grinning at how the other man's hand trembles a little. "There you go, gorgeous. Just put that number in your phone and give me a ring whenever you want."
He nods, staring down at the numbers. "Okay. Thank you."
"Have a good night, Adam."
"Good night, Nigel."
Letting him go is harder than it should've been. He can't help the urge to hold Adam close. That angel's brighter than any fucking star in the sky, as far as Nigel's concerned. Burns hotter, too. He looks up, tries to relocate Orion in the sky, and starts back for the club.
-
"Adam?"
Nothing.
Beth takes a breath. Knocks again, harder this time.
"Adam!"
She feels sick. What if Adam isn't inside? What if he ended up lost on the street, or worse?
She just wanted to have some fun. That was all. Just for one night. But Adam didn't want to have fun. He wanted to sit at home and stare at the same stars he always stared at and go to sleep at eleven thirty, like every other night.
She feels a wave of bitterness in her chest. She used to like the stars. Funny how hearing about them twenty times a day can sour you on them.
But she still shouldn't have just let Adam leave like that. She'd been frustrated, and annoyed, and tired. Why couldn't Adam just try to have a good time, for once?
She let Adam- sweet, naive, innocent Adam- run off with some random thug who'd been lurking in the night club.
And now he wasn't opening his door.
She all but pounds on the wood.
"Adam!"
And then the door opens and that sweet face is looking at her with that blank expression like always.
"Adam, there you are," she says, immediately folding him into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're okay."
Adam wraps his arms around her- stiff, like he's just following the steps to a dance he's only halfway learned. "Hello, Beth," he chimes. "I'm fine, why did you think I wouldn't be?"
She releases him so she can look him up and down. Same Adam. A little flustered by her embrace, but the same. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"
" 'He'?" Adam parrots, frowning for a moment before his face lights in recognition. "Oh, Nigel didn't hurt me."
She sighs in relief. "I was worried for you, Adam. I never should've let him drag you off like that."
"Nigel didn't drag me anywhere," he protests, and Beth sighs in exasperation.
She cares about Adam. Likes their relationship. She does. He's sweet, he's good to her- in his own way.
She's grown to hate these parts.
"I know he didn't literally drag you, it's an expression."
"I left because it's what I wanted to do," Adam insists. "We went for a walk, and I told him about constellations, and then he kissed me and gave me a knife."
Beth freezes. He...he what? There's too many layers of surprise, she can't see the trees for the forest in the way. Can't choose which part to question first.
Eventually, she settles for "He gave you a knife?"
Adam nods, rubbing his thumbs across the pads of his fingers. "He said that I was too pretty to walk home, so I should take it with me."
"He called you pretty?" she prods. "And he...kissed you."
Adam nods again, a bit sheepishly. "Yes, but only once, and then I told him that I had a girlfriend and that I needed to leave."
Beth shakes her head, a bit stricken. The thug from the club didn't seem like the type of man who would take 'no' for an answer, but then again maybe he lost interest in Adam once he started rattling off about constellations.
She blows out a breath. "I guess I'm just glad you made it home."
Adam tilts his head. "We weren't far from the house. It would have been difficult to get lost."
She grits her teeth. "I meant that you're lucky that guy didn't try to make you have sex with him, the way he was forcing himself on you all night."
Adam's eyes go wide, focused on nothing. "Oh."
Beth manages to smile. He's so sweet. She leans up and kisses his cheek. "I don't know what I would have done with myself if he'd hurt you," she whispers, kissing the corner of his mouth.
"So you aren't upset that Nigel kissed me?" he asks, and Beth sighs.
"No, babe. He was taking advantage of you, it wasn't your fault."
He frowns, looks like he wants to speak. She kisses him again before he can.
-
It's been about a week, since that night. Seven days. And something has changed, just not for the better. Beth had been praying for weeks now that Adam would do something different, try something new.
At least he's not talking about space quite as much. Still way too much, but not as much. She almost misses it. Just tuning him out and letting him rant until he eventually lost steam. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
Nigel, Nigel, Nigel.
Adam tells her that he's been thinking of getting a tattoo. That's interesting, she'd said, why is that. Nigel has a tattoo, he told her, and he likes the idea of having a picture on his body. Adam wants to know if she's ever smoked a cigarette. She used to, in college, but she quit. A few seconds of silence passes before Adam states that Nigel smokes cigarettes. That he wonders if they taste as bad as they smell. She tells him that they do, at first.
He frowns when she kisses him. Just for a second, but Beth always notices. He used to look at her with almost childlike wonder when she kissed him. He would smile, in that heartbreaking, delayed way he always does, like he had to tell himself to smile. Now he has to tell himself not to frown.
He's more indignant, too. It's like he never listens to her anymore. Do this, she begs, just do this one thing. It's good for you. He's an adult, he says, she can't treat him like a child.
"You're being a real piece of work, Beth," Adam informs her. He looks very proud of himself when he says it, too. It's an expression, she's surprised when it leaves his mouth. She asks him where he heard that. Nigel called you a piece of work, he tells her, lifting his chin like he thinks he's big and strong. She doesn't even have the heart to argue any longer.
They're walking home from the theater. It's silent between them. Adam is frowning up at the sky, like he's looking for something. His hands are jammed in his pockets, completely lost. He might as well just float up into the atmosphere, for all he seems to care for on Earth.
Maybe they'd both be better off for it.
"Hey."
Beth looks toward the voice. A man, standing in an empty alleyway. He steps out of the shadows, staring at her. Licks his lips.
"Give me your purse."
Beside her, she hears Adam squeak. She turns and sees that another man is standing in front of them, blocking the path.
She puts up her hands in surrender, mind reeling. Poor Adam looks like he might pass out.
"Listen, we don't want any trouble-"
The man on the sidewalk pulls out a gun. Her heart stops. Adam is frozen in place.
"The fucking bag, and your wallet, now."
"Okay," Beth whispers, holding out her bag. "Okay, okay, please don't shoot."
Adam's jaw clenches. He reaches for his back pocket.
Beth hears a small click, and looks over to see a large, sharp-looking knife unfold in Adam's hand. She stars at it, for a moment, wide-eyed.
Terrific. He literally brought a knife to a gun fight.
One of the muggers laughs. "Oh, look at Mr. Tough Guy!"
Adam grips it tightly, holding it out. "I-if you don't leave us alone, t-then..." he stammers, fumbling over his words. He takes a sharp breath, lifts his chin. "Then Nigel's gonna fucking hear about this."
Beth almost laughs. She's never heard Adam swear before. She wasn't sure he knew how to swear. From the sound of it, he doesn't.
It's a weak, pitiful threat. She shuts her eyes, waits for the sound of a gunshot.
The clatter of metal hitting the sidewalk gives her pause.
"Seriously? Come on, he's bluffing."
Silence.
"Look at this kid, he's full of shit. Pick up the fucking gun."
"...I don't wanna risk it," the mugger in front of them says, and Beth looks down to see the gun resting at her feet.
"Un-fucking-believable," the man behind them mutters. He sighs, almost bored, and presses a blade of his own to Adam's ribs. "Come on kid, gimme the knife and your wallet."
Adam tenses. He shuts his eyes tightly. A tear slips down his cheek and he closes the knife, holding it out to the muggers.
"...Shit."
"What's the matter?"
He's staring down at the weapon Adam gave him like it's a ghost. He has to fight to make himself speak.
"That...that's Nigel's fucking knife."
"Fuck, really?"
He holds it up to the man on the verge of stabbing Adam, showing him the intricate carving on the handle. "I'd know this knife anywhere, man, I see it in my fucking nightmares. It's Nigel's god damn knife."
Both men look close to shitting themselves. Adam is still trying to control his breathing, tense where the blade rests against his ribs.
"Why's the kid got it then?"
"I don't fuckin' know, Nigel had it made back in Bucharest, he takes it with him everywhere, he sleeps with the fucking thing."
Adam is shaking. A quiet sob leaves his lips. The two men make eye contact, looking like they each see the Grim Reaper over the other's shoulder.
The knife is placed back in Adam's hand. The one at his side retreats.
"Hey, kid. Kid?"
Adam's knees are wobbling. He gasps for air.
"Kid, hey, stop cryin', alright? Nigel doesn't need to know about any of this, okay? We're going, you don't need to tell Nigel."
Beth finally finds her footing in this current of bizarre events. "He won't tell him," she says quickly. "Nigel won't hear a word, right Adam?"
Adam forces a shaky nod. She looks back at the muggers. "Right. See? Nothing to tell, after all. Nothing happened."
They're gone in the blink of an eye, gun still lying abandoned at their feet. Adam is still trembling, looking down at the knife in his hands with wide eyes.
Beth stares at it too.
"Why did you have that, Adam?" she asks, her voice much calmer than she feels.
"N-Nigel gave it to me. In case I ever ran into trouble," he mutters, rubbing an unsteady set of fingers over the carving.
She huffs. Speaks slow, like she would to one of her students. "I know that, what I'm asking is why did you keep it? Why do you have it now?"
Adam doesn't answer. He traces Nigel's name in the wood. Half a second later, he smiles.
Beth sets her jaw.
She snatches it from Adam's hands, and drops it into a trash can before Adam can even get out his shaky 'Give that back!'.
Adam peers into the trash can, looking for the knife in the dark. "W-why did you do that?!"
"Because that thug is clearly dangerous, Adam!" Beth says, patience utterly destroyed. "Those guys acted like you had the mark of the devil on your skin when they saw it in your hands, you needed to get rid of it!"
"I didn't want to get rid of it!" He huffs, hesitating and looking visibly uncomfortable before rolling up his sleeve and preparing to reach in the can.
"You would've gotten rid of it the second he gave it to you, if you knew what was good for you," she spits.
Adam's hands ball into shaky firsts. He turns, takes a step toward her. "You don't know what's good for me!" He shouts, tears spilling past his lashes.
"And who does, Adam? Nigel?" She asks, knowing that the mocking lilt in her voice will be lost on him.
"At least Nigel is nice to me!" He retorts. "He calls me 'gorgeous' and he actually listens when I'm talking instead of just pretending I'm not there!"
Beth groans. She pinches her brow in frustration. "He's only nice to you because he wants to have sex with you, Adam! He's just pretending to like you, like everybody else!"
She knows she's gone too far the second the words leave her mouth. Adam is still shaking, but she can feel that it isn't from anxiety anymore. His face looks more furious than she's ever seen him.
"Adam-"
"Go away," he hisses, fist clenched tightly.
"I'm sorry-"
"I said I want you to go away! Leave me alone!"
She hesitates. Tears are streaming down his face. He looks like he's on the verge of a meltdown.
"Okay," she says. "Okay, I'll go. I'm going."
Adam just nods, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.
Beth starts down the street, back toward her apartment. When she looks back, Adam is leaning over the trash can, searching for the knife inside.
-
It's half-past eleven when his phone rings. Nobody ever calls him unless it's for business, so he answers the way he answers every business call.
"Thirty fuckin' seconds."
A choked sob comes through the line.
"Nigel?"
He snaps his book closed, letting it fall to his desk. Fuck, he knows that voice.
"I-it's Adam. Do you- do you remember me?"
The question pulls a bittersweet smile to his lips, even though he hates hearing Adam sound so miserable.
"Course I remember you, gorgeous. You think I meet angels every day?"
It's more than just remembering. Those big blue eyes have been swirling in his head like a hurricane, ripping everything up by its roots until his head is just a bunch of rubble. The only sound is the storm in his head. Adam, Adam, Adam.
"Y-you told me to call you, if I ever needed he-lp," he says through his tears. "I need help now."
Nigel's already out of his chair, grabbing for his coat. "What do you need, darling? Whatever it is, consider it fucking done."
Adam sobs. It tears Nigel apart. "I need you to come pick me up."
He pats his pockets. Car keys. Wallet. Knife-
Well, he knows where his knife is, at any rate.
"Sure thing, where are you?"
"I...I don't know. I don't know, I don't- I was walking home w-with Beth, I wasn't paying attention, I don't know where I am."
"Don't worry, angel," he says softly, trying to be soothing. He's always been fucking rotten at being soothing. He needs to work on that. "Take a couple deep breaths. Look around, tell me what you see."
"Okay," he says. He's quiet for a few seconds. Nigel takes the stairs to the main floor of the club two at a time, breezing past a pissed-looking Darko on his way to his car.
"Um...I see- I see some apartments. An alleyway. A palm reader. A s-sign that says, um, 'Vinnie's' in big pink letters."
Jackpot. He starts his car. "Bigass neon sign? Blacked out windows?"
"Mhmm."
"Ten minutes. I'll be there." He frowns to himself, thinks over his words. "Maybe a little more than ten, if there's any idiots on the road tonight. I'm still coming if it's longer, I promise."
Adam sniffles. "Okay."
He starts down the street, trying to pick the quickest route. "I'll see you soon, gorgeous, just sit tight- stay calm, that is."
"I will, thank you."
-
He has to stop himself from just scooping Adam up in his arms and carrying him into the car when he finally pulls up beside him. He's sitting on the curb with his knees to his chest, face tear stained and miserable.
"Hello, gorgeous," Nigel says when he opens the door.
"It took you twelve minutes to get here," Adam replies with a sniff.
"But I'm here, aren't I?"
Adam nods, and then just a beat later, that breathtaking smile is back. Timid, but no less lovely for it. Nigel's heart flutters at the sight. He reaches out a hand. "Come on, let's get you home."
Adam starts to take his hand, then freezes. "Do we have to go back to my house right away?"
He gives Adam a curious look. "I don't suppose so, no. Where do you wanna go?"
Adam shrugs. "Are you working at the club tonight?"
Nigel nods.
"Can I go there with you until I'm ready to go home?"
He grins. "Sure thing, get in."
Adam flashes him another soft smile, reaching up and taking his hand. The contact has his whole body wanting to swoon. He hopes it doesn't show.
Nigel opens the door for Adam, shutting it behind him, and settles into the driver's seat. Adam looks more relaxed almost immediately, taking a deep breath.
"Your car smells like cigarettes," he mumbles.
"Shit, sorry. I'll crack a window for you-"
"No, it's okay."
Nigel studies Adam for a moment before he starts to drive. He's fidgeting a lot, but he already looks better than he sounded over the phone. A lot fucking better.
"Alright."
"Do you have hand wipes?"
He shakes his head. "I might have a water bottle in the back and some napkins in the center console, why?"
Adam twists in his seat, stretching to grab the half empty water bottle. "I had to touch garbage, I need to wash my hands."
That sets off alarms in his head in a flash. "Why were you touching garbage?"
Adam frowns to himself, holding the napkins to the lip of the bottle and flipping it to saturate them. "Beth and I got into a fight and she threw your knife into a garbage can."
"She did fucking what?"
"She threw your-"
"My knife, my lucky fucking knife, she threw it in the garbage?"
Adam tenses, eyes widening. "I-I got it out! I didn't leave it, see?" he says quickly, fishing it from his pocket. "The handle got something sticky on it, but I'll clean it before I give it back to you, I didn't mean-"
He stops Adam in his tracks. "Hang on, gorgeous. Who said anything about giving it back to me? You don't want it?"
Adam is quiet for a second. Nigel glances away from the road and the other man's gaze flicks away in a second. He'd been staring at him.
"I...I can keep it?"
Nigel feels himself blushing at Adam's tone. "Yeah, darling, I want you to have it. It'll keep you safe when I'm not around."
"Oh...Okay, then. I want to keep it."
He grins. "Good."
They still at a red light. Nigel watches as Adam rhythmically opens and closes the knife, over and over.
"So do you wanna tell me why she threw your knife in the trash?" he asks, hoping the use of the word 'your' will make him smile again. It does.
"She said you were dangerous. That you weren't good for me." Adam's brows furrow. "Do you want to have sex with me, Nigel?"
Nigel chokes. He reflexively wants to smooth out his answer.
Adam doesn't know how other people are feeling. He likes to know.
"...Yeah, gorgeous. I do."
His face falls. "Oh."
Nigel feels a heat spread from his ears down to his fucking collar. "I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but I know you appreciate honesty."
"It's not that."
The light turns green. Nigel doesn't press the gas. He's still staring at Adam.
"Well what is it, then?"
Adam crosses his arms over his chest, looking out the window. He sighs.
"Beth told me that you were only being nice to me because you wanted to have sex with me. That you wanted to take advantage of me."
Nigel freezes. Feels his blood boiling.
That lowlife little-
A car honks behind him. He stars moving again, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that he isn't sure what will snap first. "You listen to me, Adam- that bitch doesn't have a god damn clue what she's talking about. She doesn't know shit about you, and she definitely doesn't know shit about me, alright?"
Adam nods, still looking out the window. "Okay."
Nigel huffs, wishing he'd thought to grab his cigarettes on the way out of his office.
This- this is the thing about Adam that fucking terrifies Nigel. He can't tell what people are feeling, not unless it's spelled out for him real clearly. Which means that Nigel could- if he wanted to- just fucking lie. He could tell Adam that he's done with love. That love burned him a few years back, so bad he thought there'd be nothing left of him. That he never wanted to burn again. Adam would never be any the wiser.
It also means that if he wants Adam to know how he really feels- to know that Adam is catching flames every time he fucking breathes near him like a flint in his chest- he's gonna have to say it directly. No subtle tactics to hide behind if he gets rejected. Just himself, and Adam, and the honest fucking truth, for once in his life.
He huffs again. Forces his hands to ease up on the wheel. Tries to soften his voice, at least around the edges.
"I do want to have sex with you, Adam, but only if you want that too. And if you don't want that, there's a list about a million fucking miles long of other things I want. I want to take you stargazing, Adam. I'll take you somewhere you can set up your telescope and you can show me that bright fuckin' nebula you wanted me to see. I want to kiss you again- shit, it's all I've been able to fucking think about, how fucking right it felt to kiss you that night and how wrong it feels to do just about anything else. I- fuck, Adam, I bought a fuckin' beginner's astronomy book so that I could have half a God damn clue what the hell you were talking about if you ever wanted to tell me more about the stars, that's how fucking lost I am for you."
A quiet falls over the car. Nigel glances over at Adam. He's staring. Wide eyed and blushing and fucking perfect in every single way.
"You're swearing a lot," he says quietly.
Nigel chuckles, at a loss. "I'm fuckin' nervous, Adam."
"Do you always swear a lot when you're nervous?"
"Yeah. Another bad habit, I reckon."
Adam nods. "I'll remember that."
Nigel feels like he's being dangled over a cliff, waiting for Adam to cut his tether and let him drown.
"Did you read the book yet?"
He laughs. What else can he do? "I'm a couple chapters in. I read it during my downtime, at the club. I was reading it when you called me."
He almost flinches when pale, slender fingers reach out and pry one of his hands away from the wheel, threading them together.
"Nobody's ever done something like that for me."
Nigel grins, feeling like he's on top of the god damn world. "Get used to it, gorgeous."
He looks over and sees pretty pink lips curve into a sweet little smile.
"I've been thinking about kissing you again, too. It was a very good kiss."
Nigel's face is starting to hurt from beaming like a lovesick teenager. "Yeah?"
Adam nods.
"Well, you can kiss me again any time, angel."
Adam squeezes his hand. "Okay."
-
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Nigel holds up a hand, placating Darko. "The place didn't burn down, did it? I was gone for half a fuckin' hour."
"You ran out to do god knows what without saying shit! At least tell me the next time you gotta-" Darko frowns. "Who's the kid?"
"I'm not a kid," Adam says. Blunt, like always. Nigel feels a smirk coming on. "And my name is Adam."
Darko eyes Nigel, assessing. He holds out a hand to Adam. "Nice to meet you, Adam. Name's Darko, I run this club."
"Nigel owns this club," Adam corrects, taking his hand.
"We run it together. Nigel's an old friend."
"Oh." Adam brightens. "For me, he's a new friend."
Darko smiles, a toothsome crooked grin that doesn't quite sit right. "Well, any friend of Nigel's is a friend of mine."
Adam shakes his head. "We're not friends, you don't even know me."
Nigel lifts a hand to disguise his amusement.
Darko laughs sharply, clapping Nigel on the back. "Damn, I see why you like him. Kid's a fucking trip."
"I said I'm not-"
A drunken woman stumbles by then, bumping shoulders with Adam. He flinches.
"Hey," Nigel says, placing a hand on Adam's forearm. Those pretty blue eyes glance up, land on his neck tattoo. "I know, it's crowded and noisy and shit down here. The sound proofing's better than you'd expect upstairs. Second door on the right, that's my office. You need anything, or feel like you wanna go home, shoot me a text, yeah? I'll check on you in a bit."
Adam nods, smiling up at him. "Okay, thank you."
Nigel can't resist. He reaches up and cards his fingers into Adam's hair, guides him to lean close, presses a kiss to the crown of his head.
"Feel better, gorgeous."
Adam laughs and Nigel feels his heart melt. It's soft, warm. Makes him feel like he just stepped into a hot shower at the end of the longest day of his fucking life. He wants to hear that laugh as much as possible.
He watches Adam head for the stairs, trying not to look too besotted.
" 'Gorgeous', huh?"
Nigel turns to see Darko smirking.
"Well, I've got fuckin' eyes, don't I?"
Darko nods. "Sure, sure. Just haven't heard you call somebody that in a while."
He doesn't say her name. Doesn't talk about her directly. Never does.
Nigel gives him a hard look. "What are you trying to say?"
Darko holds up his hands innocently. "Not trying to say nothing, Nigel. Just good to see you're getting back out there, that's all."
Nigel almost punches him. "I'm not getting back anywhere, alright? I don't wanna get anywhere."
Not anywhere. Aside from Closer to Adam.
"Look, forget I said anything. Come on, some guy's been harassing Millie- that new bartender with the red hair. I need you to talk some sense into him."
Nigel nods. Cracks his knuckles and sets for the back door, towards the alley.
-
The little prick curls further in on himself, trying to shield his stomach from the unforgiving onslaught of Nigel's boot. Nigel drags him up onto his feet roughly, practically spitting on him when he says "And I better not see your fucking face in this place again, yeah?"
The prick frantically nods, and Nigel shoves him along the alley, watching as he hobbles away. He sighs, takes out a cigarette and lights it. He blows the smoke skyward, looking up to the stars-
And sees Adam, watching him from the office window. He turns away when Nigel sees him.
Nigel sighs, runs his hands down his face. Finishes his cigarette. Washes the blood from his hands.
"Adam?" he calls, knocking on the office door. "Can I come in, gorgeous?"
"Yes."
Adam is curled up in his desk chair, frowning down at the Beginner's Astronomy book in his hands.
Nigel shuts the door behind him, closing the rest of the world away. For a moment, the room is quiet. It's almost pleasant.
"How much of that did you see?" Nigel asks.
"I saw you attack that man in the alley. I've never seen so much blood- I thought you were going to kill him for a moment."
Nigel sighs. "He'll be fine, it looked worse than it was. And either way, he had it coming."
Adam's frown deepens.
"He deserved it, angel."
"Why?"
Nigel steps closer, leaning on the desk. Adam doesn't look up.
"We just hired this new bartender, a few weeks ago. Fresh outta college, still finding her feet. She's a good kid. Name's Millie. That guy in the alley was giving her a lot of problems. Making inappropriate comments and touching her without her permission- shit like that. She asked me to make sure he didn't give her any more trouble."
Adam nods. For a moment, Nigel thinks he's gonna keep giving him the cold shoulder.
"Is that why people are scared of you?"
Nigel frowns. "What do you mean?"
Adam sighs, staring at the pages like he wants to burn them with his mind. "...Some men stopped me and Beth on the street tonight. They wanted my wallet. One of them had a gun. He threatened to shoot me."
The protective side of him almost demands to know what they looked like, how fast they ran and which way. In the end the feeling just makes him stand straight, stepping closer to Adam. "Someone tried to mug you?"
He nods. "I showed them your knife, like you told me. They ran away. They were scared of you."
Nigel tries to release the tension in his muscles at that. "I'm glad you had it on you, then. It did what it was supposed to do."
A piece of him that he isn't proud of is pleased. Not by the event, but by the results. Word's gonna be getting around, now. Word that Nigel's got a new boy, one with dark curly hair and big blue eyes. Word that nobody better lay a fucking finger on him or Nigel will come knocking.
"Do you hurt a lot of people, Nigel?"
He wants to say no. He wants to be honest with Adam more.
"I don't fuck around, angel. And I don't have much patience for people who do fuck around."
Adam looks up then, finally turning away from the book. "Do I fuck around?" he asks, sounding unsure.
Nigel chuckles. "No, Adam, you're not even in the same fuckin' zip code as fucking around. That's what I like about you."
Adam smiles at that, nods. "Okay," he says, and looks back down at the book.
"Must be boring for you, reading that entry-level shit when you're already an expert."
"They're skipping all of the more interesting parts," he murmurs, flipping the page with narrowed eyes.
Nigel smiles. "Yeah? You'll have to fill in the gaps for me. And probably go over some of the basics again. A lot of it's not sticking, to be honest."
Adam's brows furrow. "I thought you liked learning about space."
"Turns out I like it better when it's coming from those lips."
The other man sits a little straighter. "I could read it to you! Or one of my own books, if you want."
The breath catches in Adam's throat when Nigel reaches down to ruffle his curls, he feels that sharp intake of air like a lit match to his blood. "Sounds good beautiful, consider it a date."
Adam smiles. "Okay."
He wants to stay here forever, alone with Adam, but he heads for the door. "Alright, I gotta get some work done. But let me know if-"
"Nigel?"
The creak of the desk chair is followed by a few soft footfalls. Nigel turns to face him.
Adam's palm is soft and warm along his jaw, coaxing him easily downwards. Eager, the other man leans up to meet him in the middle, sweet lips finding his own. It's a longer kiss than their first one, lingering and lovely. Nigel sighs into it, relief of finally scratching this itch almost knocking him on his ass with its potency. The thumb on his cheek strokes through his stubble and his arms come to weave around Adam's back, holding him close like he's been craving for days now.
The other man drapes his arms around Nigel's neck in return, leaning into it until their chests come flush. The air feels thick with smoke when Adam parts his lips and Nigel decides that there's nothing on the fucking earth that feels more right than kissing Adam fucking Raki.
He runs his tongue along Adam's lower lip before sucking it into his own mouth, worrying it between his teeth. The sound Adam makes in response makes him feel like he's being shot into the sun.
Adam pulls away a bit when Nigel lets him go, gasping for air and the prettiest shade of pink dusting his cheeks.
"You taste like cigarettes," he observes.
He's about to apologize when his angel pulls him closer, licking his way into Nigel's mouth with an electric sort of abandon. Sparks flicker wildly when Adam's tongue brushes his own, making Nigel groan into his mouth and pull them both backwards into the door.
Adam falls against him, and when their bodies press together he doesn't pull away. Nigel can feel Adam getting hard against his thigh, it makes him groan again.
"Fuck," he mutters, pulling away to lower his head. Adam is panting, now. He's never seen something so tempting. "Fuck, Adam."
He noses at Adam's jaw until he lifts his chin, granting Nigel access to the pale column of his throat. It's too perfect to resist marking, at least a little.
Adam's hand tangles itself in his hair and he leans into it as Nigel mouths and sucks on the sensitive flesh of his neck. He savors the little sounds his angel makes, the way his fingers tug at the hair near his nape. Adam lets out a soft moan when he nips at him, his hips roll and press into Nigel's thigh.
"Shit, A-Adam," he hisses, gripping his hips and bringing him even closer. He keeps biting and sucking at the other man's neck, growling into the skin as he goes. "You're fuckin' incredible, you know that? Fuck- beautiful, sent from fucking heaven, Adam- fuck,"
"Don't be nervous, Nigel."
Nigel lifts his head at that. "Pardon?"
Adam shoots him a flustered little grin, all blushing cheeks and sparkling eyes and swollen lips. "You're swearing excessively again. You don't need to be nervous, I'm enjoying this very much."
He laughs, a bubbling, giddy thing that comes straight from his chest. Adam is practically beaming.
"That was a joke," he informs him. "I know you're swearing as a proclamation of passion."
Nigel cups his face, still rumbling with lingering humor, and kisses him again. "That was funny, gorgeous, but I'm nervous too."
He gently takes one of Adam's hands, unbuttons another button on his shirt and slips the hand underneath. He presses that soft palm to his racing heart, lets Adam feel how wildly it's thumping in his chest. Adam's eyes go wide, flushing even deeper than before. He curls his fingers, feeling Nigel's thick chest hair, and swallows visibly.
"See?" he breathes. "Fucking terrified."
Adam nods. "Me too."
Nigel smiles at him, feeling warm and soft in the face of him. "Don't have much of a choice, honestly. Not with how bright you burn."
He frowns slightly. "I'm not burning. I-I'm very warm right now, but I'm not burning."
There's an errant curl falling in Adam's face. Nigel brushes it away, watching his angel's lashes flutter in response. "Oh yes, you are. So bright it's hard to see the night sky when you're around. You block out the stars, gorgeous. Everywhere you go."
Nigel brings him close once more, his kiss slow but deep, full of a feeling he's not ready to name.
"That doesn't make any sense," Adam sighs between kisses. Nigel just smiles against his lips and rubs his hands along his body, worshipping the curve at the small of Adam's back.
"Nigel," he murmurs, spoken against his mouth like he's too impatient to choose between speaking and kissing.
"Yes, angel?"
Adam gives him one last heated kiss before he finally falls away, pupils blown where they're staring at Nigel's exposed chest.
"I...I think I want you to take me home now."
Nigel grins. Darko's gonna be pissed with him. Beyond pissed. "Sure thing, let's go."
Adam smiles back, leaning up to kiss Nigel's jaw. "I want you to stay, too, If you want to stay. So that we can have sex."
Nigel barks out a laugh even as his cock twitches at the words. "Fuck, I love it when you do that."
He tilts his head. "Talk about sex?"
"Shit, that too. But I meant when you say exactly what you feel. No fuckin' games. Too many people waste their time pussy-footing around that kind of thing."
Adam grins. "I don't fuck around, Nigel," He reminds him, looking very pleased with himself. "Let's go to my house, we can have sex and then you can spend the night."
Nigel opens the office door, gesturing for him to pass through. "Sounds perfect, after you."
-
He grabs blindly to the side when he starts to wake. Searching for the warm, soft thing that was pressed against him when he fell asleep the night before. He grumbles when he can't seem to find it, cracks one eye open.
Adam is sitting near the foot of the bed, looking at his laptop. Nigel rubs his eyes and realizes that the other man is wearing his shirt, the black button-down hangs loose around his shoulders and makes him look even smaller, more delicate than before.
"Mornin', gorgeous," he purrs, sitting up to wrap his arms around Adam's waist. He rests his chin on the other man's shoulder, looking at the screen. Some article about a far-off comet, it's a bit too dense for Nigel to grasp this early in the morning.
"Good morning, Nigel."
He turns his head, nuzzles his nose against Adam's neck. "You sleep well? You hungry?"
From the corner of his eye, he sees Adam smile. "I slept very well, thank you. And I've already eaten."
Adam's neck is littered with little bites and bruises, the evidence of their eagerness for each other is almost embarrassingly visible in the midmorning sun. He kisses over the marks, grateful. "You've been up for a while, then."
Adam nods. "Beth came over to talk, but then she started yelling, and then I started yelling and I didn't want to wake you so we went to her apartment."
"So you went over there wearing my clothes?" he teases, tugging at the shirt.
"I'm sorry that I didn't ask if I could borrow it, I didn't know who was knocking and I didn't want to keep them waiting so I just put on the first thing I saw."
Nigel just shrugs, tugging him closer to press his back to his chest. "I don't mind, angel, you don't need to ask for that kind of thing."
Adam hums in acknowledgement.
"So what did you and Beth talk about?"
He sighs. "She tried to apologize for the things she said last night. I told her that I didn't want to be with her anymore because I wanted to be with you, and she started crying. Then I told her that we had sex last night, and that's when the yelling started."
Nigel tries to bury the laughter that builds in the crook of Adam's neck. It's not successful, and Adam twists to face him.
"Why are you happy about that?" he asks, more accusatory than offended.
Nigel presses a kiss to Adam's jaw. Truth be told, a lot of things about it make him happy. Picturing the look on that cunt's face when Adam dumped her, Adam standing in the doorway with Nigel's shirt loose on his frame, doing nothing to hide all the hickeys on his throat as he tells her that they're done.
'because I wanted to be with you.'
Done because Adam likes Nigel better, chose Nigel over her, wants Nigel.
Yeah, he can't pretend it doesn't make him happy.
"I'm just glad she's not gonna be bothering you anymore, that's all," he says, kissing Adam's cheek before finally releasing him and standing. "You mind if I have a smoke?" He asks, fishing his cigarette case out of the pocket of his discarded trousers.
"Open the window, please."
Nigel complies, leaning out Adam's bedroom window as he lights the cigarette and takes the first drag.
"Nice place you got here, gorgeous. Little lonely, though."
He hears the bed shift behind him, hears Adam's voice drawing nearer as he speaks. "I think I'm starting to like that. Your nicknames for me."
Nigel smirks, lazily holding the cigarette between his fingers. "Good. I'll keep using 'em, then."
After a moment, Nigel feels a hand brush his own. He frowns down at Adam when he tries to take the cigarette from his hand. "What are you doing?"
"I want to try it."
"I already told you, angel, it's a filthy fuckin' habit. It's bad enough for you just hanging around me while I'm doing it."
"Maybe I don't want to only do things that are good for me."
Nigel cocks a brow, and Adam smirks. Well, getting involved with Nigel is already bad enough for him.
He lets Adam take the cigarette. "Shit, you're a grown man, you know it's bad for you. Do what you want. You're gonna cough up a lung, though."
Adam frowns at it for just a second before bringing it to his lips, pinched between his index finger and thumb. Predictably, he coughs right away, grimacing as he passes it back.
"Thought you didn't like the smell of smoke, anyway."
He shrugs. "I like it now. You smell like smoke."
Nigel feels himself blushing, struggling to keep from choking before he exhales. He finds himself smiling fondly at the way Adam holds it when he takes it back, like a teenager who stole his dad's from his nightstand.
"Hold it like this, darling. Between your fingers," he instructs gently, adjusting Adam's hand. The cigarette looks good in his fingers, and he can tell that Adam is pleased.
He does a little better this time, manages to hold it for a second and exhale it instead of coughing it out. He's still wincing, though.
"You don't have to smoke it if you don't like it."
"I know, I know," he mumbles, and he's blushing a little sheepishly.
Nigel ruffles his curls. "I just don't want you to feel like you need to impress me."
Adam nods. "Okay."
He watches his angel. Adam has his arms crossed now. He looks frustrated, and more than a little embarrassed.
"Adam."
He glances up, and Nigel takes a long, deep drag of the cigarette before leaning over and taking Adam by the jaw. He catches him in a kiss, and Nigel gently tugs at Adam's curls, coaxing him to part his lips. When he does Nigel opens his mouth, lets the smoke drift in the new shared space between them. Adam shivers, and when they part a cloud falls from his pretty pink lips.
"Was that better, mic stea cazută?"
His eyes are far away for a moment, still lost a few seconds behind. When they snap back to the present, his furrows his brows. "What did you just say?"
Nigel's face flushes. He leans away. "It's Romanian," he says, leaning out the window to put out the last ember of the cigarette against the brick and letting it fall to the street below. "Another nickname for you, I suppose."
"What does it mean?"
When he looks back at Adam he feels his heart in his throat. The blush has crept down his neck. He has to force himself to speak.
"Mic Stea Cazută," he whispers, willing his voice not to waver. " 'Little fallen star.' "
Adam's cheeks go pink in record time, eyes wide. "Oh."
"Fuck, it's too much, isn't it? I don't know, it just came out-"
He's silenced by lips on his own, kissing him tenderly until his worries burn away. Nigel stares down at him when they part.
It happens in a fraction of a second. Big blue eyes, staring at his lips. Then, for just a moment, directly into his own. Blue and wide and endlessly, endlessly perfect before they flick down to his lips again. Nigel feels a swell in his chest, pulling him into the atmosphere. He feels ten feet tall, completely invincible.
It's the god damn love. The irrational, unstoppable mother fucking love.
"You haven't brushed your teeth yet this morning," Adam observes with a slight grimace. "I have a spare toothbrush in my bathroom drawer, please use it before you kiss me again."
Nigel laughs, settling for kissing his cheek instead. "Sure thing, gorgeous. Whatever you say."
He starts to head for the bathroom, but he pauses when he hears the bedsprings creak again. Adam is lying across the sheets, watching him go. He looks almost inhuman, giving off an ethereal, dreamlike beauty.
"You know, you can keep that shirt if you want. It looks better on you than it does on me."
Adam grins. "Okay. Now hurry, and we can have sex again before I have to get ready for work."
"Sounds like a plan, gorgeous," he says, and takes just another moment to admire how the sun catches Adam's curls. The midmorning rays cast him in a soft golden light, like he's glowing. His little fallen star.
He tears his eyes away, and slips down the hall, already counting the seconds until he's in his angel's arms again.