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GOOD MORNING/AFTERNOON/EVENING/etc DEAR [READER]! Would you like the JOB OPPORTUNITY of your LIFE? And by life we mean DEATH? get it, cause we're dressed like zombies? yeah you're not exactly getting comedic genius in a job listing buddy
Would YOU like to be Instagram famous for being the one to serve somebody their inedible food? Simply reply to this email and let us know you're interested and we'll set up a time and place to get you started! Don't worry, [READER], we don't have very many qualifications—you'll fit right in! Not sure if that's a positive for you or if that says something about us! But believe me when I tell you that this job is to DIE for!
ZOMBURGER'S got the bad food! : ]
(hey i need doc or somebody to figure out this automated bullshit with the names before these get sent out)