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Dear diary,
When I think of him, the alluring and innocent blue eyes pop into my head. The silkish hair strands which fall so lightly down his fragile face echo through my memory. The adorable light blush whenever he meets my gaze, appears instantly. His soft pink lips on mine and the feeling of happiness which floats through my body like a wild river lets me smile. His pale and careful, yet sometimes clumsy touches enwrap my mind. The light and heartwarming smile he gives me every day lets my heart jump of joy. It’s like my whole world got it’s color renewed when he asked me to go out with him, with his eyes shyly averted to the ground afraid of my answer. Like he painted it with pure bliss and glee the moment he stepped into my life as he turned it upside down.
If somebody would ask me why I love him and how much, well, I would need years to answer this question thoroughly.
I would begin with the accidental encounter in the gym where his blue eyes met mine for the very first time and my heart got enchanted badly from him in two ways. One to form him as a shadow and the other one to love him with my little and cold heart back then. I hurt him so bad and so many times, and if I were actually able to go back in time I would scream at myself for all the selfishness and stupidity which let him suffer so much, but still he never gave up on me – on all of us. He disappeared and let me feel different kind of emotions, from anger to despair, when I lastly thought that I had lost him. But I was wrong. I had never lost him. He had never left me. He only fought for me to bring me back. The moment he won, and I lost for the very first time in my life, his smile and tears brought me back. Brought my icy heart back to life and love for him. Every tear I shed he wrapped away with his shivering fingers as he approached me.
His eyes were filled with forgiveness and love and I couldn’t understand the world. If I were him I would have hated me, I would have laughed but he just came to me and hugged me.
Afterwards we met many times and I laughed with him and slowly we grew nearer to each other. Everyday a bit nearer.
It was nearly summer when he stood there soaked from the rain and confessed. The weather had changed suddenly and we had been running to an alley. His cheeks were painted pink and his breath was uneven. Long before I knew that I loved him, and somehow I believed that he loved me too, but neither me nor him said a word. His voice was shivering, uncertainty laying in every carefully spoken word. Only seven little words, interrupted by stammering, but can I ever forget them?
“Akashi-kun w-will you go out with m-me?” I couldn’t hide my little shock as my voice was gone long before, so I only wrapped my hands around him, pushed his chin up and kissed him instantly.Too long had I longed to press my lips on his, too long did I want to hug him, caress his cheeks and ravish his body.
He was like a drug, my personal drug just made for me.
Afterwards the time went by quickly. We kissed, kissed and kissed even more. Every place of our bodies was touched, caressed, tickled till we gave in and melted in pleasure. We challenged each other like little kids, always wanting to make the other one smile, to make the other one gasp and cry out each other’s name. Our tongues battled for dominance in every kiss, never wanting to let the other one win, never wanting to be the submissive one but of course I won lastly. Honestly, Tetsuya would never win this game, and he knew it exactly. Maybe I would let him be the dominant one for a few seconds but then only to make him surrender even more to my touch, to my fingers, to my tongue. I would tease him every time till he pleaded for more, begged and gasped my name until I sent him over the edge. Till his blank eyes were filled with lust, longing and excitement, his cheeks tinted in pink, his lips swollen from all the kissing and his whole body trembling. Not to forget his sweet little moans and the screaming of my name.I love him. Love him unbelievingly much. Love every tiny little bit of him, with all his ‘faults’.
And know we’re here. On this little island I rented, getting married tomorrow. I know I haven’t deserved him. Haven’t deserved his big heart full of kindness and purity, nor his love for me but he gave it to me, since the earliest days were I didn’t even know what love is. He believed in me all the time, when I was happy and shattered and therefore I love him. Only him, forever and always as long as I live. I can never promise that won’t hurt him, because I am the way I am, but I will promise that I make him happy, everyday.
Kuroko folded the piece of paper Akashi had laid on top of a oval present, while one tear after another dripped down his cheek. Never had he expected Akashi to be this honest with his feelings, nor had he imagined to read something like that. His body was filled with butterflies all over as a certain red head hugged him from behind.
"I love you Tetsuya" the voice of Akashi whispered into his ear as he trailed kisses along his neck.
"I love- mmmhh you too- mmhhh Sei-kun" his low voice echoed through the room before it was muffled by kisses and moans.