Chapter Text
Chris caressed your photo, lovingly, his fingers trailing over your face. Every moment without you was killing him. Looking into your eyes, he didn’t see the love that he craved. He saw attraction, intrigue even, but not the love he knew and craved. It was polite countenance.
He couldn’t bear that. He would rather your ire, than your unfamiliarity.
He shook himself, placing the photo back hastily. He had his family by his side: Carly, Scott, Shanna and his mom. And Dodger, of course. But most importantly, he had his love for you, which would bring you back.
He was sure of it.
He saw you walking into the park, in an outfit he’d always loved on you. You walked to him, a warm smile adorning your lips. He loved that about you, your smile. It made him feel like the world was brighter by 200%.
You took a seat next to him, taking in his outfit. He was really good looking. But not in an arrogant way. In the way where he would turn heads with his charisma and charm, and confidence. You took a seat next to him, handing him a cup of coffee.
“What’s this?”
“I stopped on the way at Starbucks and thought I’d get something for you. I hope you like it. If not, feel free to chuck it in the trash.”
He smiled. Taking the cup from your hand, he took a sip of the drink, the bitter taste of coffee with hints of arabica overwhelming his senses. He loved it. It was his favourite coffee, and she picked it out. Briefly, his heart fluttered at the thought that maybe, somewhere, she remembered him. It made him feel better about this whole arrangement.
You watched him take small sips of his coffee, mesmerised at the sight of him really enjoying it. You didn’t know why, but it felt really good that he liked it. You didn’t know how, or why, but while ordering at the shop, the order just rolled off your tongue, like it was a habit, or muscle memory of sorts. You’d shrugged it off then, thinking it was probably your gut instinct telling you so. Or perhaps you’d been soulmates and partners in a former life. The thought made you chuckle.
Chris looked at you, bemused. “What?”
“Uh, nothing. I was just thinking about how you seem familiar to me and I just…thought that we might’ve known each other in a past life or something. Sounds weird and lame, I know.”
He smiled shyly, looking at the ground. “Do you believe in past lives and soulmates?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. If it were someone else, you would’ve been creeped out and uncomfortable with the question and the eye contact. But not with Chris. He was different. Why? You didn’t know.
“I..sort of do, I guess. Like, not in the way most people do, like kindred spirits and unbreakable bonds and all that. But I do think that if two souls are meant to be together, they will find a way, no matter what the hindrances or obstacles.”
His heart swelled. Your candid confession gave him the hope he thought was gone forever. Maybe you did remember him, past life or not.
“We might’ve been together in a past life, which only proves one point.”
“Which is?” You asked, dryly.
“It means that since we were probably together in a previous life, we should definitely give this…courtship a try in this life. Who knows, it might be better than the last life.” He said with a wink, a grin adorning his lips.
You smiled. Time spent with Chris would certainly not be boring.
The days went by steadily, and so grew your relationship with Chris. He took you on many dates, to the most charming places ever; museums, parks, skating rinks. Time seemed to stand still when you were with him; which was an antithesis because two months seemed to just whizz by! You’d even been to dinner with his mom, who seemed like a wonderful lady. She, too, seemed familiar, but you didn’t stress about it. It was probably your brain acting up, replacing people and memories.
You went to therapy more regularly now, Chris being a regularly occuring topic. He truly was the perfect man; caring, loving and perceptive to all your needs. There were one or two times where you thought that he would kiss you, hold you, but he maintained a distance, giving you time. At most, he would give you a warm hug, or a small peck on your forehead, but that was it. It was almost too perfect, you felt. You’d told your parents about him, but the reaction you’d gotten was lukewarm, and you didn’t know why. It had bothered you, because it wasn’t like them to not be happy for you.
Work was going well, too. You’d gotten a few interviews, and Chris helped you prep for that as well. You sat with him, laughing at his inane impressions of people and workplaces till the wee hours of the morning. The interview went well, and you’d started off your job on a good note, which you partly thought was because of his help in prepping.
You started inviting him for dinner more often, the house feeling more and more like a home. Living away from your parents was tough, but you felt like you needed your own space, especially now more than ever. Even if you didn’t regain your old memories, it was important to you to make new ones. Although there wasn’t a name you’d given to this courtship, it felt right. It felt like you were meant to be together.
It was a normal Friday evening, you’d called him over for dinner, which was animated, as always. He was telling you about his work, and how fulfilling it was everytime one of his clients walked away, happy with his work. You listened on, enthralled and enchanted, truly in awe of this man. He was getting ready to leave after dinner, but you felt a pang in your heart. The feeling of being incomplete was growing with each second. Calling out his name, you grabbed his arm, slowly pulling him into your house as he looked on in bewilderment. Rising up on your tiptoes, you gazed into his eyes as you held his face, slowly touching your lips to his. He stood there, shell-shocked, as if in a dream, making no attempts to touch you. He seemed to break out of his reverie soon, though, his hands encircling your waist and gently pulling you to him, holding you closer. He deepened the kiss, as if beseeching you, asking you for something. It felt like he was pouring everything he had into the kiss, holding your face, his thumb grazing your jaw ever so slightly. Breaking apart, he touched his forehead to yours, not ready to let go of you.
“That was…” he breathed, speech evading him.
“I know.” You replied, looking into his eyes. They had darkened, his pupils wide and his mouth slightly slack. You wanted more, you needed to feel him, to hold him. You needed him in every possible way; not lust-fuelled, but something more powerful. It seemed crazy but you felt like he was the one for you.
Much to your dismay, he pulled away, whispering, “would you like to have dinner with me this Friday? At my house, as my…girlfriend?”
Your head shot up at that, bemusement evident on your face. “Are you serious?!”
“About which part, the house or the girlfriend?”
You slapped him playfully, “the girlfriend part, you dummy! Took you long enough!”
He laughed as he pulled you closer, his heartbeat steady against your ear. Your heart fluttered at the thought of being at his house. He’d never talked about his family a lot before, so going to his house would be like getting a peek into his life. Placing a peck on his lips, you agreed, embracing him with all that you had. You couldn’t believe how much he’d meant to you in such a short time.
You kissed him again, softly, wanting nothing more than to pull him inside and take him to bed. Alas, he pulled away soon, much to your disappointment, leaving with a small peck to your forehead.
“See you this Friday, sweetheart.”
You woke up on Friday morning, your heart lurching as you thought about meeting Chris. It had been a busy few days, so you hadn’t been able to meet him, only texting and calling. He’d been busy at work as well, so it had been the longest you’d gone without talking, making you realise how much you’d missed him. Was that normal in a relationship? You’d never had a relationship last for more than a year, and even then you never felt like you did with Chris. It was weird. And exciting. And a little scary. You woke up, a skip in your step as you began to get ready for work.
It had been an exceptionally good day. The meetings went well, your manager was pleased with your work and your coworkers were slowly becoming very good friends.
Evening came, and brought with it pre-date jitters. Sure, you’d been on many dates with him till now, but you felt this to be different. It was kind of a big step, and you didn’t want to mess it up by scaring him or freaking him out. Taking deep breaths, you calmed down and started getting ready, picking out a red dress and your Louboutins. You looked taller with them and let’s face it, it really showed your ass off. Not that that mattered, you thought to yourself. Or did it? Was it finally time to take the next step? Because even God knew you were ready for it. And longing for it.
The bell rang and with it, so did your heart flutter. You were gonna take a cab but Chris insisted on driving you, stubborn man that he was.
You opened the door, completely floored at what you saw. Chris looked different. He looked…hot. Not that he wasn’t hot before, but now he looked really hot, like GQ Men’s Issue Cover Hot. He was wearing deep blue jeans with a black dress shirt, his black jacket sitting snugly across his broad shoulders. Honestly, he was sex on legs; quite a departure from his chocolate boy look. There was no doubt about it, you were gonna jump him later on.
“Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” He teased, raising his eyebrow.
“You look amazing. This is..a pleasant surprise, for sure.” You hoped your gawking was taken as a compliment, your cheeks heating.
“Thanks. So do you sweetheart, you look breathtaking.” He remarked, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.
“Shall we?”
You were short of words. His house was truly breathtaking. The drive itself was pretty short, about 15 minutes or so. But standing inside the huge place, it was surreal. That instant jolt of deja vu hit you again, but you chose to ignore it. This was your time with Chris, and you didn’t want to ruin it by overthinking.
There was a warm feel to the house. It was very him; welcoming, beckoning you to stay. The walls were adorned with pictures of his family, his sisters, his nephews and nieces. It was so adorable. You heard a small bark at the distance, and turning around you saw a tan and white dog run upto you, its tail wagging to the nines. He jumped on you, whining in happiness and excitement. You giggled, petting him and stroking him with matched excitement. He was adorable and lovable, just like his owner.
“And who is this handsome young man?”
“This is Dodger, my boy. Though he seems to have forgotten his manners!” The latter remark was meant for Dodger, who was still whining and pacing around the room, unable to contain his joy.
“Whoa! Anyone would think he’s seeing me after a long time; the way he’s whining! What a good boy!”
You didn’t notice Chris’ smile falter a bit, oblivious about the words that were spoken. He felt a pang of hurt but was happy, at the same time. It was bittersweet; a reunion of sorts, but one of you didn’t know the other. He watched as you sat down to give Dodger belly pats and rubs, kissing him softly on his snout. Dodger whimpered, licking every inch of your face and hands.
“Dodge, c'mon buddy, behave. Go get your toy, fetch!”
You giggled, sputtering after the intense love attack. Chris laughed, snapping a few pics for good measure.
“Why don’t you get cleaned up, there’s a bathroom right down the hall, in my room. I’ll get dinner ready till you do.”
You walked down the hallway, taking in the various showpieces and ornaments adorning the walls. You really loved the feel of this house. It was like you’d been here all your life.
Walking into the bathroom, you washed your hands but noticed a lack of a drying towel. Typical man, you thought dryly.
“Chris? Is there a drying towel or something here?”
“Uhhhh yeah, just try the drawer by the fireplace.” He shouted, distracted.
Sifting through the different chests of drawers, you hunted for a towel, trying not to see his stuff. You were sure he’d not mention it, but there were some boundaries you had to maintain, no matter how open he was. Or seemed to be.
After rifling through his drawer for a minute, you finally found a napkin, albeit your hands were already dry. Oh well, you thought, better late than never.
Shaking your head, you went to close the drawer, but it wouldn’t budge. Trying again, you shoved harder, eager to get back to the dinner. Frustrated, you dug through the drawer to find the source of obstruction, your hands feeling a wooden frame. You pulled it out, curiosity getting the better of you. You wished you hadn’t, though. Because what you saw shook you to your very core. You felt like you would collapse to the floor.
“Heyyy, dinner’s almost ready, I’ve put in an extra loaf of garlic bread in case I eat too much..” Chris trailed off, astonished by your tense stance and lack of words.
“Sweetheart…? Is everything..ok?”
You couldn’t bring yourself to answer him. You didn’t know if you should be scared, or hurt, or angry. All you knew is that you wanted to be away from him. Your legs moved as if detached from your mind, each step taking you further away from him. You could faintly hear his voice calling out to you, but you didn’t stop. You didn’t stop walking till you reached his door, opening it, letting the bitterly cold breeze attack you; mirroring the numbness you felt inside. There was only one thing playing in your mind over and over again, in a loop.
The photo of you and Chris, kissing passionately on a beach.
He knew who you were. He’d known all along.