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Is this the dumbest thing he's ever done in his life? Yes.
...That's really all there is to say about it, actually.
There's no but, there's no except, there's no then again, there's no on the other hand.
It's stupid. There isn't a second side to this. He's just. Stupid.
"You're gonna get caught," Leo hisses to himself under his breath. He paces back and forth a few minutes, sneaking a glance at the window across the street. Why does he care if he doesn't show up to a random little girl's make-believe tea party?! It doesn't matter! He didn't think he'd ever see her again, nor did he really care much for that matter.
But...he did say he'd bring the tea next time. And the girl, evidently, remembered...he'd deducted this by coming across a letter taped to her windowsill. The odds of him actually finding the letter were fairly low, but that's another matter. The point was, the letter said this:
dr. mr. turtl. u sed u wood bring the tea next tim. wensday at six o clok is nex tim.
And now it's Wednesday at six o'clock (except actually, it's six-thirty), and Leonardo is a giant anthropomorphic turtle standing atop an apartment building in New York City with an actual pot of tea. He cringes at the absurdity of it.
But he can see her in her windowsill across the street right now (the wall Raph and Spike had crashed through got fixed up remarkably quickly). She looks forlorn.
It's giving Leo the same feeling he'd get when he and his brothers were little and Mikey would ask him to play with him and he would say no, and then Mikey would give him those trademark utterly heartbroken puppy-dog eyes that nobody's able to say no to to this day.
Or when Donnie would ask him to read to him, and Leo would roll his eyes and tell Donnie he's a much better reader than he is so why doesn't he just read his science books to himself, and Donnie would say in a quiet voice that made Leo want to learn how to pronounce all the science terms that he just wanted to spend time with him.
Raph has always preferred to be alone, but on the off-chance he did ask Leo to do something with him, and Leo said no, he would usually just pretend to not care—not to too much success, and that possibly made him feel more guilty than Mikey and Donnie did.
Leo supposes it's probably just something in his nature, as a big brother.
But whatever it is, it's making him very stupid.
Someone's probably gonna notice he's gone. And they're gonna ask what he's doing, and what's he supposed to tell them? Raph would never let him hear the end of it.
Right, like Raph wouldn't do the same thing, Leo thinks with a smirk. Raphael's hesitation would probably be entirely rooted in fear of being made fun of by his brothers. He wouldn't care about how stupidly and unnecessarily dangerous it is.
And it is dangerous. Suppose he's caught. He could easily get away from the girl's father, but him having knowledge of his existence would cause enough problems on its own. Is it really worth it?
Leo looks back at the girl in the window, then down at the teapot in his hands. He sighs.
Doesn't matter if it's worth it or not. He has no choice.
Her eyes light up when she sees him. "Mr. Turtle! I knew you'd come back!" she says loudly.
Leo quickly shushes her. "Your dad can't find out I'm here," he tells her. "You have to be quiet."
"Don't worry, he's not home. That's why I told you to come now. Actually, I told you to come thirty-three minutes ago. You're late."
"Wait, he's not home? You're here alone?"
"My daddy says I'm very...sell su-fish-ent, so I can be alone sometimes."
"...You mean self sufficient?"
"Yes, that." The girl waves her hand dismissively and takes the teapot from Leo. "Oh, you did bring the tea! And it's even real tea!"
"How old are you?"
"Seven. And a half."
"Seven? That's too young to be left on your own. Where's y-"
"Mr. Turtle," she interrupts, exasperated. "You're here for a tea party, not a boring conversation."
Leo pauses, then nods briefly. Okay. He can...figure that out in a little bit.
"Well," she says. "Are you going to take a seat?"
He does, and she pours him some tea before pouring another cup for herself.
"It's lovely to see you again, Mr. Turtle," she says. She takes a sip and makes a face at the bitterness. "I think this tea needs some sugar. Wait here, I'll go get the sugar bowl."
Leo drums his fingers on the table as he waits for her to come back. He and his brothers had been left alone plenty of times when they were younger than seven, but that was because it was safer that way. Leaving a 7-year-old girl alone in an apartment, presumably on a regular basis, does not sound very safe. But...what is he supposed to do?
"I'm back!" the girl sings, skipping into the room with a sugar bowl in her hands. "Would you like some sugar for your tea, Mr. Turtle?"
"Sure! Thank you," Leo says. "Hey, I don't think I ever got your name, by the way."
"Why would you want to have my name?"
"What? Oh, no, it's an expression. It means you never told me your name."
"Oh, okay. My name is Chloe," Chloe supplies. "And remember, you need to put your pinky out when you're sipping tea."
"Well..." Leo looks down at his hands. "I told you, I don't really have one."
"What are your fingers' names, then?"
"Uh...I don't know."
"That's sad. You should name your fingers." Chloe takes his left hand in hers, and she examines it with fervor. "What about...udvada, guladie, and skyvalo?"
Leo chuckles, amused. "Okay. So I put my...skyvalo up when I drink tea?"
"Yup!"
"Heh, those are some really creative names, Chloe. You kind of remind me of-" Leo breaks himself off suddenly, remembering he probably shouldn't be telling her about his brothers.
"Remind you of who?"
"Uh...no one. You're just. Unique."
Chloe looks at him suspiciously and sets her teacup down, spinning it so the handle is facing her. "Uh-huh...How many other turtles are there?"
“None!” Leo says quickly. “I’m the only one.”
She frowns. “That would be lonely. But it’s not true anyway, I met another one when he crashed through my wall fighting that monster, remember?”
Leo decides not to tell her that the “monster” was another talking turtle. She doesn’t need to know about Slash. “Uh…” he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly and sighs. What harm is it gonna do, anyway? It's not like anyone's going to believe her if she blabs about them. They'll just think she has really weird imaginary friends. “Yeah, I have three brothers. That was one of them. His name is Raphael, but we call him Raph.”
“Ooh! You should invite him and your other brothers to our next tea party! Wouldn’t that be fun?”
Leo hesitates, caught on the word “next.”
“Um…I don’t know…I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
Her face falls. “Why not?”
“Well…it’s really not a good idea for even just me to be here?”
“Why?”
“I’m a giant turtle, Chloe. Most people are scared of me.”
“But you’re a really nice giant turtle!”
“I’m glad you think so! But it’s not a good idea for people to see me anyway.”
“But I want to meet the other Mr. Turtles, Mr. Turtle!”
“I’ll…think about it,” Leonardo tells her.
“Hmph.” Chloe crosses her arms in a pout. “I hate when grown-ups say that.”
“Well, I’m not a grown-up. I’m a teenager.”
“Are your brothers teenagers, too?”
“Yep. We were all from the same…” he trails off, as he realizes he actually doesn’t know what a group of eggs is called. Mammal babies come from litters, but that doesn’t sound quite right… “We’re all about the same age,” he says finally. “But I’m the oldest.”
“Ooh. I wish I had three little brothers,” Chloe says innocently, which makes Leo laugh.
“Yeah...I think you’d change your mind pretty quickly.”
Chloe takes another sip of tea and then daintily sets it back down on the table. “Nuh-uh. It’s boring being an only child. Having a brother or sister is like having friends who aren’t allowed to not be your friends!”
Leo smiles at that. “That’s an interesting way of thinking of it. But you’re right. They might be insufferable sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade them for all the tea in China. My life would be really boring without them.”
“Why China?”
“Huh?”
“We’re in You Nork,” Chloe points out as-a-matter-of-factly. “Why would you want tea in China?”
“Oh.” Leo blinks. “It’s an expression. It's like the expression 'I wouldn't trade them for the world,' but I figured I'd use the tea one, because...we're having tea."
“Hm.” She shrugs. “Tell me about your brothers, Mr. Turtle.”
“Well. You saw Raph last time. He’s the second oldest after me. Then after Raph is Donatello, or Donnie, a-”
“What color is Donnie?”
“…Green?” Leo answers hesitantly. “We’re all green. We’re turtles.”
“No, no, I mean that thing.” She reaches over and taps Leo’s mask. “You’re blue. Raph is red.”
“Oh. Oh, yeah, Donnie’s color is purple.”
“That’s my second favorite color!”
“Cool! My youngest brother is named Michelangelo, or Mikey, and his color is orange.” Leo pauses. “Also, my name is Leo, which is short for Leonardo.”
“I’m still gonna call you Mr. Turtle, Mr. Turtle,” Chloe announces.
Leo snorts. “Okay.”
She starts to say something else, but before she can get any words out, they hear the front door to the apartment open and her dad say, "I'm back, Chloe!"
Leo freezes. "I gotta go," he says hurriedly, grabbing the teapot. He'd like to stick around a little and find out more about the whole child abandonment thing going on, but the footsteps are coming towards Chloe's door, so he doesn't really have a choice.
"See you next week, same time!" Chloe waves as he opens the window to climb back out of it. "And don't be late!"
"You know, tea time isn't something you should be late for. It's very uncivilized," Chloe tuts as Leo takes a seat at the tiny table set up in her room.
"Sorry! I got held up back at the lair becau-"
"YOU HAVE A SECRET LAIR?" Chloe jumps out of her chair with such force she knocks it over backwards. "I wanna see your secret lair! Will you take me? Pretty please?"
"I'm sorry, Chloe," Leo says apologetically. "But no. I can't take you to the lair. For a lot of reasons. For one, it's in the sewers, and you don't wanna go down there. It's gross."
"Then why do you go down there?"
"Because it's a very good hiding place, and I have to stay hidden, remember?"
"My daddy said you sounded like a very polite turtle when I told him 'bout you, though. I think you could meet him."
Leo sighs, setting the cup down. "Chloe, I think if your dad saw me, he would call the police and forbid me from ever having tea time with you again."
Her face falls. "But-"
"Speaking of your dad," Leo says cautiously. "I was gonna ask you about him. Does he leave every Wednesday at 6:00? Where does he go?"
"Oh, it's a work thing, I think."
"Is that the only time he leaves you alone here, or are you left on your own a lot?"
Chloe shrugs. "Sometimes. But not a lot. Most of the time it's just on Wednesday."
"Do you know where he goes?"
"He said it was for work."
"What does he do for work?"
"Mr. Turtle," Chloe says sternly. "I don't like the tone you're using. It's not a tea party voice."
Leo stares at her for a moment, and then clears his throat and says in a British accent, "What dost thine father do for a living?"
Chloe giggles, and replies in her own British accent, "He sells-eth things. But he wants-eth a better job-eth."
"Dost the thing the gent leaves for on Wednesdays have to do with his job now, or the one he desires?"
"I'm not entirely sure-eth, dahling. But I suspect it's the one-eth he doesn't-eth yet have."
Leonardo leans back slightly. "What's the longest your father's ever left you alone for?" he asks in his normal voice.
"An hour and a half," she answers easily. "Really, Mr. Turtle. I know you're worried, and that's admirable, dear, but my daddy just doesn't have enough money for a babysitter and I'm perfectly fine on my own."
"'Admirable,' eh? That's a big word."
"I know plenty of big words. Like sophisticated and elegant and astounding."
Leonardo smiles. "You're pretty smart, Chloe. You know, I th-"
He's interrupted when his T-phone goes off, and he looks at the screen, letting out a huff of annoyance.
"Who is it?" Chloe asks excitedly.
"It's my brother Raph. I should head back now. They're probably wondering where I am. But..." he silences his phone. "Hey, I have an idea. Do you have a piece of paper and a pen?"
"Uh-huh." Chloe rummages around in a drawer next to the table and pulls out a piece of bright pink construction paper and a glitter pen.
"I'm gonna give you my phone number, 'kay? So if you ever need anything, you can call me. But you can't show your dad, okay? Can you keep it a secret?"
"Promise. I'm good at secrets," Chloe swears. "Thank you! Next time, will you bring your brothers?"
Leo snorts lightly. "We'll see. Same time next week?"
"It's a date!" Chloe exclaims.
They clink their cups together before Leo heads out.