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David swears under his breath and kicks the chair in his dressing room. He knows he shouldn't have acted like that, knows he shouldn't have acted out but he'd had it with all the stupid fucking smiles and all the silly little antics to make people laugh, all the stupid little actions to turn people away from looking too deeply at him and seeing the fucking useless shell of a man that he really was. He'd had it and he just happened to pick the worst day to give up too. Fuck.
'There you go again, David, you stupid fucker, you can never do anything right, can you? Always getting things wrong, you fuck.' he swore to himself, punching the mirror, it shatters upon impact and he cuts his face, arms and hand on the airborne shards but he doesn't care. He deserves this. He really does.
He almost feels bad about breaking the mirror, about the 7 years bad luck but then he realizes he's been unlucky for a long time, why give a flying fuck now?
A knock on the door and the turning of the handle has him tensing up, shutting down, a smile appearing on his face. He hopes to God that it's not Jimmy, but of course it is. Why would anyone else give a fuck? Who else would seek him out? Who else would read into his fucking stupid little outburst? Who else cares enough to realize that he just can't be fucked anymore? No one, of course it's Jimmy, it's never been anyone else, why would that change now?
'David?' the all too innocent way his name is called, the small twitch of the smile he seems to be permanently plastering to his face.
'Hey, Jimmy.' the chipper tone he's so fucking good at turning on and off. Jimmy sees right through it of course but David thinks that's just because he's being a useless fucker again and can't even fake being happy anymore. Fuck.
'What's wrong, David? Why...? What happened out there? You know... you know that I'm here if you want to talk or... whatever...' Jimmy doesn't really know what to say, David snorts.
'It's nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, Jimmy.' David says, bopping Jimmy gently on the nose, Jimmy wrinkles his nose and frowns.
'Stop it, David. You might be able to fool them but you can't fool me. Stop it and just tell me what's wrong.' And David wants to, he really does but he can't. Can't because it would mean admitting how fucked up he is inside and they're comedians, they're all fucked up, they don't need to be dealing with each others baggage too.
'Stop asking, Jimmy, for things you truly don't want to know.' David says, his chest tightening as he pushes Jimmy away, Jimmy, the only one who gives a fuck. Jimmy sighs.
'Fine. I'll stop asking but you have to stop hiding from me first. That's the deal, David. The only deal.' David snarls.
'Fuck you, Jimmy, fuck you. You can't help me, you really fucking can't and yet you never stop acting like you can, well you can't. I'm sorry, Jimmy, but it's true. No one can help me. I'm on my own so just fucking leave it.' Jimmy sighs again, seeing the way David is shaking and how his fists are clenching and un-clenching. He takes a step forward and pulls David to him, hugging him close. David fists his suit jacket and buries his face in Jimmy's neck, Jimmy can feel him shaking so violently that Jimmy's surprised he's not shaking too.
'It's okay. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. You're not alone. I'm here, I can't understand everything but I understand you and you need me, David. And I'm here for as long as you need me. I'm not going anywhere, no matter how many times you tell me to fuck off.' Jimmy rubs David's back, he can tell when David starts crying by the way David's body shudders violently every few seconds as the older man sucks in a breath through his tears.
Jimmy doesn't know when they fall slowly to the floor, all he knows is that he's still holding David. All he knows is that they're both so fucking messed up and they're the only ones who care enough to try to help each other, even though they know they can't, even though they know it's pointless to try but they do it anyway, because they care. And as long as they keep caring they can do this, they can fucking do this. They have to, they can't give up, not when they have each other, not yet.