Chapter Text
Theta
Theta was processing what had just happened. She couldn’t even remember why they were fighting in the first place. But if it meant she got to experience Kos’ clever tongue and hands, it was worth it. And she needed it again. Soon.
She was so used to understanding everything, being a time lord and all that. Even emotions were simple, with the amount of telepathy they learnt. But, she supposed, Koschei would never be simple. It wasn’t in her nature. She loved her friend dearly, but she often feared for their future. Was it too much to hope that they would stay close friends? Would they remain allies, or face each other on the opposing sides of a battlefield? Both, was most likely. Koschei was an enigma, she was so very something, yet not it at all at the same time. It was intoxicating.
That’s why she’d always been drawn to her. The golden child of the time lords and the mad one. The ones who were destined to destroy or save the time lords. In a way, they were meant for each other. Theta certainly felt it, from the first day they met, her crush had already begun to stir. It then slowly began to develop to love and then to pure infatuation. It was the only difficult thing about the academy for her. And it was only made worse by Koschei obviously being aware of this shame and constantly jokingly flirting with her, presumably to make fun of her. Maybe she just wanted to see how far she could push her friend. Today, she crossed a line. Actual kissing, actual physical touching. To win a dumb arguement. That’s how much she must actually mean to her best friend.
Her blatantly obvious feelings were nothing but leverage to be used against her.
Maybe Koschei wanted her gone. Love was wrong. Theta was wrong. She was probably going to turn her in for unwanted advances. Have her cast off this planet.
She’d never felt like this before. She was scared. She’d fucked everything up, and lost her best friend. Her only friend. Why couldn’t she have just not fallen so hard for the first person to care for her?
The next day almost passed without event. She and Kos barely acknowledged each other in their lessons. When breaks came round, they both opted to hang out with the other students, and simply ignore the other. Theta tried to steal glances wherever she could. Her mind was replaying their kisses over and over. She could barely concentrate all day. Koschei didn’t seem to be affected at all, annoyingly. The last embers of the fire that hoped, that maybe, Kos felt the same way, had died.
The last alarm of the day blared, when Koschei walked over to her desk. She wasn’t expecting that, actually. The way her friend hadn’t even looked at her all day, made it pretty obvious to Theta that she had wanted nothing to do with her. But then she supposed, the kiss meant nothing to Kos, so why would she care? It wasn’t eating away at her in the same way it was devouring Theta’s hearts. God this was so confusing. Her mind was a whirlwind.
“We still need to finish our project.” Her tone indicated indifference. “Come back to my room.” It wasn’t an invitation. More of a command.
That was new. Koschei rarely invited her over. She was funny about her dorm. It was further away from the main lecture halls than Theta’s own, and it was in an older building, so the room had a key instead of just a lock. Koschei always locked her dorm, and rarely let the key out of her sight. It would seem suspicious if it was anyone else, but she’d come to accept it about her friend. Ex-friend, she tried to remember. Ex-friend, who was still looking at her, expecting an answer.
“Yeah, sure,” she replied , trying not to let her voice wobble and give away her inner turmoil. There was so much she wanted to ask. Why was she doing this, why now? Had that kiss actually changed something for her friend?
“Good. Come along now.” And with that Koschei turned on her heels and started walking briskly toward her room. Theta had to scramble everything into her bags and run slightly to catch up.
She knew she shouldn’t let herself speculate about her friend’s feelings towards her. That was a thought experiment destined for failure. Koschei didn’t love her like that. No one ever would. It was a bitter notion, but a true one. She only wanted to finish this project they’d already agreed to be partners on and then be done with Theta forever.
They made it to Koschei’s room, passing Theta’s own on the way. She wondered about escaping into it, in order to push everything out of her mind for a while. But this may be her only chance to even slightly repair the relationship she had ruined, so she continued to follow her ex-friend until they reached the door. While Koschei was fumbling in her pockets for her rusty door key, Theta watched her closely. Watched her chest rise and fall. Unevenly. Watch her face knitted with concentration, and her brow furrow, until she finally dug it out from a deep inside pocket and slipped in the door. She walked through, pulling her outer robe off as she went, as she always did. Everything felt how it usually did, except they were in a different place now and, oh yeah, Theta’s whole world had been turned upside down.
Theta lingered in the doorway, not reading to cross over yet, to be fully alone with Kos. She’d never felt like this around her before. The air was thick with tension. It was normally so easy just the two of them. Everything felt so right in their own little world.
She slowly made her way across the threshold, softly thudding the door shut behind her. Every cell felt like it was on fire. She’d never regenerated before but this sensation is what it will feel like. She was actually dying. Koschei, her effect on her, was destroying her.
She gingerly stood while Koschei was on her bed. There wasn’t any other place to sit in here other than on the bed next to her ex-friend and she couldn’t even force her muscles to do that. Her eyes darted around the room, glazing over every surface and object, noting the organized clutter that hid personality to the average person, but to Theta she could see Koschei in every inch of every object.
Why was she here again? She couldn’t do this, being alone with Koschei. She wasn’t strong enough. It was taking all her strength to not grab her ex best friend by the lapels and recreate the previous night. It was the only thought in her single track mind. She must be able to see it on her face.
That was it. The girl two feet away from her was sizing her up, figuring out who to let her down gently, how to inform Theta that she was about to be cast out of their race and off this planet for breaking the first rule of society.
Koschei rose from her bed, observing. Theta didn’t want to engage in eye contact, but the concept of those eyes drilling into her further when she couldn’t even observe what they were focused on, was far worse. Kos began to slowly walk across the room towards her. She didn’t stop when she reached Theta, opting to instead push it further, manhandling her body to where it was desired. When they reached the door together, Theta squeezed her eyes tight, expecting a punch, or something worse. What took her by surprise however, was a gentle hand taking hers, tracing soft circles into her palm. Cautiously, she opened her eyes. Koschei was right there in front of her. All she had to do was lower her head slightly, and press a kiss to those lips. She hadn’t realised how desperately she needed that contact until right now.
Koschei was staring right up at her now. She couldn’t tell what emotion was brewing in her stormy eyes, but it was very strong. Could she just lean in and do it? Her friend had taken her other hand now and was pressing it into the door, along with Theta’s own body.
Koschei had initiated the kiss before, she thought. Maybe it had just been to gain the upper hand over her, but the way she was entirely restricted against the hard wood by her friend’s body, so much so that she could feel their hearts beating in unison, suggested otherwise.
Dun dun. Dun dun.
She couldn’t take her eyes off them. She only had to...
And her best friend’s lips were on hers. Pressing nice and firm and pushing her further into the door. She was doing this nice thing with her chin and it made her want to melt. She could barely stand; her knees felt like they were going to buckle at any second. Koschei was actually kissing her. No fight, no false pretences, no joke flirting. This was real. This was everything.
Theta took a risk and deepened the kiss further. She shook one palm free in order to push it into her friend’s cropped hair. Koschei shuddered slightly at the contact and Theta took that opportunity to regain some dominance and backed her against another convenient nearby wall. Koschei struggled against the sudden loss of control. Theta kissed her hard, pushing her tongue into her friend’s mouth. Theta’s whole life had been building up to this. She was still young, but she knew nothing she would experience in the rest of her existence would be like this.
She didn’t believe she would ever love someone like how she liked Koschei. It was them, forever. Nothing would divide them. Theta wouldn’t let it.
Koschei
As much as she liked this onslaught of physical contact from Theta, she still needed to be shown what her friend was capable of. That she could do more than be hopelessly pinned against any convenient surface, even if that was nice. So Koschei gathered up every bit of strength she had and moved Theta back towards the bed, giving her a light shove once she heard her legs hit the bed frame. Not wanting to waste a second, she clambered onto the mattress after her, bracketing Theta’s legs with her own as she lent down, desperate to regain full bodily contact and to get her tongue into her pretty mouth.
Then she pulled back. Something was telling her to gaze into Theta’s gorgeous eyes and memorize the soft falls and dips of her beautiful brown skin and note how it all comes together to form the most beautiful person Koschei would ever lay her eyes on.
“I love you,” she breathed. “I will never leave you Theta. It’s you, me and the skies, forever.”
Theta smiled up at her for that, before tilting her head up and Koschei, not wanting to deny that request, leaned back in.
Years Later
The Doctor was gone. Grabbed an unlocked Tardis and was off. Exploring the stars without her. But no use dwelling in the pain of her best friend leaving, she thought as she briskly made her way down the halls. If the Doctor could steal a Tardis, she bloody well could.
She’d show the Doctor! She’s show this godforsaken planet, the time lords and their stupid rules! She wasn’t mad, no darkness had overcome her. She was going to kill them all, starting with her oldest friend.