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Published:
2021-08-25
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2023-07-23
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7/?
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no amount of therapy can help

Chapter 7: meanwhile, on twitter | messages (2)

Notes:

you might want to be sitting down while reading this chapter or perhaps crouch under a table or take shelter in a panic room because I KNOW you’ll be screaming once you realize how I've upgraded my formatting game. Like. Hacker alert?? I'm an It Girl gender neutral?? An Information Technology Girl gender neutral?? My dainty sausage fingers can code question mark??? (not really, no, but it's still an improvement over ms paint & photoshop lol)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tweet

Art, or whatever
@redmoustache

Harrymort art!! 🧹💀

terrible terrible harrymort art

8:23 AM · 11 May 23

8 Retweets 2 Quote Tweet 37 Likes

The very portrait of civility @nigellus ago

Replying to @redmoustache

thanks i hate it

Sigma Male @mclaggen_man · 3h ago

Replying to @redmoustache

what the fuck is a harrymort

Ex-Wife

why are you always sending me weird stuff ginny

what the hell am i looking at

don't you recognize the likeness of those two harry

well given the stupid robe and the hair I'd say that looks like voldemort?

and the guy hes hugging is

.......wait

yep

but. i don't look like that

you did in the makeover vid

that BARELY qualifies as me

lockhart put three inches of makeup on my face. he contoured my face! the man actually CONTOURED MY FACE!

and i saw him change the camera filter halfway through. i'm telling you, i got yassified!

you sure did

It was funny as hell

But hey, it’s not like you could have refused. He did threaten you with that camera footage of you and ron throwing him into a sewer

we were going into that sewer to save YOU – the least you could do is be sympathetic

sure harry. next time he threatens to comb your hair I'll crush his head between my biceps like a watermelon

stop talking dirty to me or I’ll be too ashamed to look luna in the eye!

all I'm saying is it could’ve been worse. and now it’s over

you got the footage and you won’t have to worry about lockhart anymore. worth it, right?

yeah, well. I don’t know if it was worth THIS

I mean, fuck

why are we even hugging. and why are people drawing us hugging. what is going on

oh honey if you're reacting like this to the fanart i feel bad that im about to tell you about the fanfics

THE WHAT

Everything is totally FINE and NOTHING is a Disaster 🤓♟️🧠

it's so creepy right
Ron
you're right harry
i mean
what's going on with voldemort's arm it looks like it's got three elbows
not what i meant ron
Ron
no, of course not, you're absolutely right the other hand IS worse
there's only four fingers!
Hermione
I think it's flattering
Ron
is it really though...
i mean. again.
look at the arm
Hermione
It's ART Ronald, you are not supposed to question these things
no, but. look how short i am! i am not that much shorter than him! and why am i three shades lighter?!
Ron
i do like the composition, though. it's quite romantic
and what's with that adoring look anyway
for that matter i'll eat hedwig if voldemort has ever made that peaceful innocent face in his LIFE
Ron
you know, i think it's growing on me
it's giving me kind of a nice vibe™ the longer i look at it
i've only met him ONCE and it ended in violence do people really think we're involved
Hermione
I hate to say this, but he HAS left a comment on each of your videos, you have to admit that can give people ideas.
Especially given his... specific brand of comments, let's say
his what
Hermione
He's been flirting pretty shamelessly, Harry
he's been what
Ron
i wonder if they're selling prints

parvatiddies alicia-spinster theharrymortconspiracy UMMM??????? HELLO??????? #justharry#lordvoldemort #harrymort #MR VOLDEMORT????? 785 notes

Notes:

the updates are slow but. they happen. lol

btw if you like ginny & humor, here's a narcissa/ginny for you: Looking For A Complication (aka what if it's the post war and ginny likes milfs...)

and if you like a wacky premise: The Panglossian Agenda (aka dark lord harry and his crazy little ideas)

Notes:

come stalk me me on tumblr here
(or @ orangemoustache
for the art blog)

and consider reading my other hp fanfic (tomarry, time travel) (i promise it's not abandoned): Stab Right Through

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