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All units. Housefire. 788 Maple Street.
Matt couldn’t quite believe what he heard when the bells went off. It was an address that would be permanently etched in his mind. How could it not be? It was a call that changed everything.
It was a call in which he lost a friend and fell out with another. A call that deeply impacted how he led his truck. A call that brought two little kids into his life - two little kids that forever changed him. Two little kids who taught him more about grief and growth than he thought little kids could teach. Two little kids who taught him about unconditional love. Two little kids that solidified his desire to be a father.
Two little kids that he missed every day.
Matt shared a look with Severide as they made their way to the apparatus floor. It was clearly a date etched in Severide’s mind too. The drive over there was silent. Gallo had started talking about something unrelated to the call and Matt quickly told him to focus. This fire deserved nothing but their complete focus. A lack of focus had its part to play in what happened at this address ten years ago. He wasn’t about to let history repeat itself.
When they pulled up at the scene, Matt felt all sound around drown out as memories came flooding back. Nobody should have to see a fellow firefighter let alone their friend engulfed by flames. He hopped out of the truck and surveyed the house. What were the odds that they would be called here almost ten years to the day that Andy died?
He could hear someone tell Boden that there were at least 3 people trapped inside. Thank God Boden was here. Matt needed his leadership right now.
“Hey. Captain.”
His head snapped round at a familiar voice that instantly made him feel calm. It had been four months since he’d snapped her back into focus. Now she could tell that something had got to him, and he needed to regain his composure. Who better to help him get there than the person who always helped to weather his storms and bring him safely back to shore?
“You good?” Sylvie asked; her face soft and encouraging.
Matt took a deep breath and shot her a grateful look before turning back to the house. “Yeah. I’m good.”
Boden then yelled out instructions which squad, truck and engine diligently followed. Matt put his mask on, slipped his helmet back on and stepped towards the house. As he looked up, he knocked shoulders with a firefighter from another engine unit that had been called out to assist.
“Sorry” the firefighter quickly said, their eyes meeting and Matt’s heart sinking into his stomach.
“Darden, get to it!” a voice yelled from behind them, confirming what Matt already knew.
“… Griffin?” Matt questioned, but before anything else could be said, he was pushed along by Stella and towards the entrance to the house.
What the hell was happening here? Was this a twisted dream? Griffin Darden, fighting a fire at the house his father died in, ten years after the fact.
He heard Sylvie’s voice in his head again and snapped back into focus. There would be time to worry about all of that later.
As soon as Matt hopped out of the truck back at 51, he saw Severide quickly walk towards him. They stepped out onto the apron, feeling like this was a conversation best had in private. Their actions didn’t go unnoticed by everybody else. Sylvie, Stella, Violet, Gallo, Ritter – they all watched on curiously as the Captain and Lieutenant started speaking in hushed tones.
“Something really spooked Matt about that house.” Sylvie mumbled quietly to Stella as Violet, Gallo and Ritter started to make their way inside, figuring this was something they had no business poking in on. “It was like he’d seen a ghost.”
“Kelly looked really pale when he jumped out of the rig.” Stella confirmed. When it came to Casey and Severide, there wasn’t much, if anything, that didn’t go unnoticed by Brett and Kidd.
“Understandably.” They heard a voice behind them say as they turned around and came face to face with Mouch.
“Why understandably?” Stella asked as she narrowed her eyes. “What’s so significant about that house?”
“It’s the house Andy Darden died in.”
Sylvie and Stella’s faces fell a thousand miles, their heads shooting round to the two men whose heads were hung low as the spoke to each other. They didn’t know much about that fire, but they knew enough to know it had completely rattled 51, and Severide and Matt more than anyone else. Their friendship took a huge beating, and it took a lot to come back from it.
Sylvie was also aware that Matt had taken in the Darden boys when their mother went to jail. Again, she didn’t know the details, but she knew Matt deeply missed the boys. Having all those memories come flooding back must have been a real shock to the system.
“I’m at a bit of a loss for what to do right now.” Stella finally said. This was not something she, or anyone for that matter, expected to be dealing with today.
“Yeah.” Sylvie whispered. She sucked in a breath before standing up straighter. She didn’t know what to do either, but she did know they would both need their rocks, so that was exactly what she intended to be. “We just need to be there. They’ll talk to us when they’re ready.”
Matt and Severide were aware of everyone watching them as they walked out into the apron, but any explanations could wait until later. Not that they had any explanations. Neither of them could really explain exactly what had happened this morning. It was like the wind had been knocked out of them and they were still trying to catch their breath.
“Was I seeing things – or was Griffin Darden holding onto a hose on Engine 90?” Severide asked as he ran his hand across the back of his neck.
Matt stuck his hands in his pockets. “Yeah. He was.”
“Not just a hose on Engine 90, but a hose that was pointed at the house his dad died in.” Severide said slowly, trying to piece the events of the morning together. “What the hell Casey?” he questioned in disbelief.
“Yeah. I don’t know what to say.” Matt confessed. It was always the emotional stuff that left Matt a little lost for words. How was he supposed to find the words to relive a trauma that cost him a friend, and almost cost him a brother in Severide? “I didn’t know Griffin was back.” He said quietly. He felt a little ashamed that he didn’t know. He’d been a parent to Griffin and Ben, and he had no idea what was happening in their lives right now.
“Heather made sure to cut all ties. It’s not your fault Casey.” Severide replied, seeing that his friend was beating himself up about this. They stood in silence for a few moments before Severide spoke up again. “What do we do now?”
“I want to make sure that Griffin is ok. Not just with what he had to go through today but with… everything I guess.” Matt revealed. “I tried to talk to him about Andy as much as he would allow me to when he was with me, but I never felt like I said enough. Maybe he’s in a better space to hear it now.”
“If he’s in the space to join the CFD, then I’d place money on him being in the space to hear about Andy.” Severide agreed. “And no matter what happens – I’ve got your back man. Always.” He confirmed. Neither of them felt the need to bring up their fallout from ten years ago because nothing that could happen next would change where they were now. Just saying that they were there for each other was exactly what they needed.
“Yeah. You too.”
Matt looked up from his paperwork when he heard something being placed beside him on his desk.
“Citrus almond loaf cake.” Sylvie said as she stood beside him, looking down at the still warm slice on the plate next to him. “Your favourite.” In a bid to make herself feel useful, Sylvie thought that she could at least try and put a smile on Matt’s face – even if it was a small one – and he really loved her citrus almond loaf cake.
Matt leaned back in his chair and smiled up at her, “What did I do to deserve this?”
Sylvie ran her hand across his shoulders, a little smile dancing on her face. “I know that a slice of cake isn’t going to make everything ok, but it’s just a little something to say – I’ve got you. If or when you want to talk about it – I’m right here.”
Matt’s eyes beamed up at her. He couldn’t help but look at her like she was the best thing in the world – because that’s exactly what she was to him. He’d never had somebody in his ife who supported him with such delicate fierceness.
“I do want to talk about it.” Matt confirmed. The Matt before Sylvie would have shut her down immediately – because why would he burden anyone else with his problems? That was selfish. But Sylvie made sure he knew that he could never be a burden to her and turning to somebody you loved was not selfish. It was exactly what a partnership should be about. “I think I’ve settled myself about the fire – it was a freak coincidence. A freak coincidence that brought Griffin back into my orbit. Now I’m just focused on seeing him.” He revealed.
“I’m sure he’ll be glad to see you.” Sylvie encouraged. “How about tomorrow night, we pack a few boxes in your room and you can tell me all about the kind of parent you were?” she suggested with a little grin. It was hard not to grin when she thought about her and Matt moving into their own place next week. They didn’t want to rush their relationship, but it didn’t take them long to realise that they’d spent too much time apart to not follow what their hearts were telling them now – and their hearts were telling them that home was wherever the other person was.
It was also hard for Sylvie not to grin when thinking of Matt as a parent. It was hard not to get butterflies when thinking about it. His heart was so good and thinking about the goodness that he extended to the Darden boys when they needed it most made her love him just that little bit more.
“Will there be more citrus almond cake?” he teasingly requested as Sylvie leaned forward with a little laugh, her nose brushing against his.
“I’m sure I could manage another loaf” she replied quietly before kissing him.
Just as Matt started to deepen the kiss, a voice awkwardly cleared behind them, breaking them apart and reminding them that the door to his office was wide open.
“I uh – sorry to interrupt.” Griffin said awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck.
“No, no it’s fine.” Sylvie insisted as she awkwardly pushed her hair behind her ear. “I should know better than to fraternise with the Captain. Especially with the door wide open.” She joked as Griffin’s posture loosened and he smiled back at her.
Matt smiled himself as he looked between them – it really wasn’t hard for people to feel immediately comfortable around Sylvie. He stood up and motioned between the two to introduce them.
“Griffin this is Sylvie Brett, our PIC—”
“Just your PIC?” Griffin teased as Matt stuck his tongue in his cheek and bit back a smirk.
“Yeah Captain, just your PIC?” Sylvie teased as she tilted her head to the side.
“—and my much prettier other half.” Matt added on quickly as he pinched Sylvie’s hip while she giggled at his teasing concession. “Sylvie this Griffin Darden.” Matt introduced as the two of them shook hands. Truthfully, it was like seeing Sylvie shake Andy’s hand. Now that Griffin was standing in front of him, out of his gear, the resemblance was even more striking now than when he was little.
“It’s very nice to meet you Griffin.” Sylvie said.
“Yeah, likewise.” He replied happily.
“Hopefully we’ll get a chance to talk properly soon, but I’ll leave you guys to it.” She said before turning to Matt. “Make sure Griffin gets a piece of cake before he goes.”
“You got it” Matt said with a little chuckle. Sylvie could be a real mother hen when she wanted to be.
Sylvie encouragingly grazed her hand over Matt’s arm before she left.
“Come on in” Matt said, waving Griffin through the door before closing it behind him. “I’m sorry for the summoning.” Matt said with a little scoff. He’d called over to 90 and asked that Griffin stop by and felt far too official for what this was about. “I didn’t have your number and I didn’t want you to get in trouble with your Chief so I thought covering this as a professional call might be the way forward.”
“No, I’m glad you did – I wanted to talk to you I just – I wasn’t sure how to go about it.” He said a little awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
It only then occurred to Matt that it might have been a little difficult for Griffin to walk into 51. His mind had been all over the place and he didn’t even think that this might not have been the best place to meet.
“I didn’t mean to make it comfortable for you by asking you to come here—” Matt quickly began, but Griffin was quick to cut him off.
“No, no.” he insisted. “It was surprisingly nice coming in here and seeing dad’s face on the wall. It weirdly felt like coming home.”
Matt shook his head, “That’s not weird at all. You are home.” Griffin smiled gratefully at him, and Matt was grateful that there wasn’t anything strange about seeing each other again. It felt nothing but right. “I don’t want to keep you from shift, so I was wondering if you wanted to grab some dinner tomorrow. We can properly catch up and what not.” Matt suggested. The last thing he wanted was for this reunion to be interrupted by a call.
“Yeah, that would be great. I’ll look forward to it.”
After quickly exchanging numbers, getting Griffin a piece of cake (well, two pieces at Sylvie’s insistence), and seeing Griffin out, Matt felt a little bit lighter. Any fears and anxieties had started to drift away, and he felt unexpectedly excited to talk to Griffin about everything.
“So – firefighting.” Matt began as he and Griffin strolled by the waterfront. “You’ve come a long way from the 12-year-old who wouldn’t step foot inside 51.” He observed.
Griffin nodded, remembering all too well the rush of emotions he was dealing with in the aftermath of his father’s death and his mother’s imprisonment. “Mom did everything she could to talk me out of it – understandably so – but I think even she realised that she shouldn’t stand in the way of something that was right for me. Of something that I’m good at.” He said confidently. “I trained in Florida and was going to start as a candidate there, but I saw your badge and dad’s badge sitting on my shelf one afternoon and I just knew I needed to do this in Chicago. I’ve been here a couple of months now and it was easily the best decision I made.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I feel bad that I didn’t know you were back, let alone that you were a firefighter—” Matt began apologising but, once again, Griffin cut him off.
“Don’t feel bad. Mom made sure she cut all ties here.” He excused, reiterating what Severide said the day before. “The birthday cards were appreciated though.”
“I’m glad you got them.” Matt replied. It felt like an inadequate gesture, but also the only gesture he could do without going against Heather’s wishes. “Can I ask you a question about the fire we were at yesterday?” he asked as they sat down on the steps.
Griffin smiled knowingly, “You want to know if I knew that was the house dad died in.”
Matt scoffed, “Am I that easy to read?”
“You’ve kind of been awkwardly manoeuvring around the topic all evening.” Griffin confirmed as Matt grimaced. “And yeah – I did know. Got in trouble over my lack of focus.” He revealed as he looked down at his hands.
“I think a lack of focus is understandable on a call like that. All that matters is you got it back.” Matt encouraged. He’d kept a side eye on Griffin whenever he could, and he was focused, and he was doing his job exactly as instructed. His strength in that moment was admirable.
“You know they use dad’s death as an example at the academy on the dangers of flashovers?” Griffin told him. “I had to do a bit of retraining with the CFD before they let me find a Candidate spot.”
“Must have been hard to listen to that.” Matt responded.
“In a way yeah. It’s never nice to relive your dad’s death ten years down the line. But I know it’s also going to make me a better firefighter. A firefighter that he would be really proud of.” Griffin said.
Matt felt a swell of pride in his own chest. Griffin Darden was all grown up. Yet again, he was teaching him more about grief and growth than Matt ever expected.
“I’ve still got a lot of learning to do, and I’ve still got stuff that I need to come to terms with about being in Chicago again.” Griffin added on. Evidently, he didn’t want to give the impression that he had it all together – because he didn’t. He was still young, just fresh out of the academy. This was only the beginning for him. “But I’m really happy to see you again Matt. What you did for me and Ben – I don’t think either of us could ever thank you enough.”
“I’m just glad you’re doing good. You and Ben.” He replied having heard from Griffin earlier about Ben starting his sophomore year at high school back in Florida. “And I’m really glad that you’re here. Whatever you need – I’m here. So is Severide. And Sylvie will probably insist on having you over for dinner as often as possible.” He added with a laugh.
“Sylvie, huh?” Griffin began to tease again. “She seems really great. You deserve to have someone like that in your life.”
Matt beamed. “Yeah. She’s everything.” He said softly. “I went through a bit of a rough patch last year. Questioning what my future was supposed to look like. Now every time I look at her my future is as clear as day. I’m a lucky guy.”
“A deserving guy more like. The way you look at her – I’m not much of a romantic, but it was impossible not to notice. You look at her like she hung the stars and the moon.”
Matt blushed. This wasn’t the first time he’d been called out for how he looked at Sylvie. Not that he cared. He wanted everybody to see that this is what it looked like to be in madly in love – and that it was the best thing in the world.
“Sylvie’s back at the loft with Severide and his fiancée Stella. You want to come hang out with them for a bit?” Matt offered. He really wanted Sylvie to get to know Griffin, and for Griffin to really feel like a part of his 51 family again.
“Yeah, yeah that sounds great. Let’s go.”
“I’ve always wondered about that GI Joe.” Sylvie said when she walked into the room with an empty box and saw Matt looking down at the toy in his hand. It had been sitting on his bookshelf for the past few years, having miraculously survived the condo fire.
After spending an evening catching up with Griffin and listening to Severide’s Andy stories, Sylvie and Matt started to pack up a few more boxes as planned. They figured it wouldn’t take long to clear out Matt’s room at the loft as he hadn’t amassed that much stuff over the past few years.
“Ben gave it to me. He was worried that I would forget them when they moved away.” He said with a little scoff. “Like I could ever forget them. Or the insane crash course in parenting I got.”
“From the way Griffin was talking about you tonight – I don’t think he forgot you either.” Sylvie replied fondly. There was such an ease in the way they spoke to each other. It was like they had never been apart. She almost didn’t believe Matt when he briefly mentioned that it took a while for him and Griffin to get on the same page.
Matt smiled as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed, the doll still in his hands. “Me fumbling around parenting is not forgettable. I was really thrown into the deep end with them. We started out on a steady diet of pizza for dinner and pop tarts for breakfast.” He reminisced as Sylvie smiled as sat down beside him, ready to hear more. “Griffin wouldn’t go into the firehouse, he was getting into fights at school, he cracked a rib; all while Ben was living in fear that I would go away like his parents did.” He recalled with a gulp.
“That’s a lot to deal with.” Sylvie sympathised, her hand resting on the back of his neck and her fingers playing with the ends of it. “What changed?”
“I quickly learned that engaging in a battle of wills with a 12-year-old wasn’t something I could ever win.” Matt replied. “I just had to let him know I was there and bring whatever peace to their lives I could. We played a lot of Risk and indoor football – and I got Griffin back into the firehouse.” He said proudly. They were little things, but they were things they loved doing together, and that meant a lot to Matt.
“That’s some good parenting Matt Casey.” Sylvie complimented.
Matt nodded, “I got there eventually. Made watching them go that much harder. I think about them all the time and seeing Griffin now, seeing him so much like Andy. It’s a pretty great way to remember him. To see him through his son.”
“I know I didn’t know Andy, but from what you and Severide and Griffin were saying about him… I think he would have loved to have seen you be a father to his boys. He would have loved to have seen Griffin doing something that he loves.” Sylvie said. From what she understood, Andy Darden was a goofball whose love for his family and friends was unmatched. He sounded like someone Sylvie would have been fast friends with.
“In the city that he loved.” Matt added on. “As horrible as the circumstances behind Ben and Griffin living with me were – I’ll be forever grateful for that chunk of time I got to spend with them.”
“And this GI Joe is going to sit pride of place in our new home.” Sylvie said with a nod. “I think it would look nice on the bookshelf next to my romance novel collection.”
Matt chuckled, “Sounds perfect.” He agreed before lifting her hand and placing a kiss against her knuckles. "You know – looking after Ben and Griffin also confirmed something for me.”
“Yeah?” she asked curiously as she looked up from the doll to him.
“Yeah. It confirmed that I wanted to be a father to my own kids.” He told her as a little smile crept onto Sylvie’s face. “It’s always kind of felt like a pipe dream but now – it’s something I want to do with you. It’s something I couldn’t imagine doing with anybody but you.”
“When I was little, I always used to tell people that when I grew up, I was going to be a Disney Princess, a farmer and a mom.” She told him with a little laugh as Matt looked at her amusedly. “And when I came to Chicago, that dream kind of slipped away from me. I didn’t think it was something I wanted anymore… but then the right person to want kids with came into my life and that dream came back.”
Sylvie moved so she was straddling his lap, her hands on either side of his face, her gaze piercing through his captivating blue eyes. “I would love to have some blonde-haired, blue-eyed babies with you Matt Casey. I think it would be hard not to want kids with you. Not when you are so damn good.”
Matt grinned and tilted his head forward until their foreheads met, his hands lacing around her waist and across her back. Touching her was addictive, but not as addictive as loving her was.
“I love you. So much.” He whispered.
“I love you too.” She replied before lifted her head back and smirking at him. “Maybe we should get some practice in for when we decide it’s time for us to become parents.” She suggested, expertly grinding her hips, and sending his head spinning.
Matt groaned, “They do say practice makes perfect.” He agreed, their lips ghosting past each other’s.
“Yeah. They do.”
Matt smoothly lifted her up and rolled her over onto the bed, causing her to laugh before catching her laugh in his deep and thorough kiss. Loving her was as easy as breathing, and he couldn’t wait to take on whatever else came his way, especially parenthood, because it all felt doable with her by his side.