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As seemed the theme for most bad ideas, Dazai had been the one to suggest it.
“Atsushi!” Dazai’s voice filtered through the mostly-quiet office of the Armed Detective Agency before Atsushi had even fully closed the door. “Come here, when you have a minute! I have something to tell you!”
Atsushi dragged his feet a little slower on his way to his desk. It was probably another new suicide method his… eccentric mentor had found and wanted to try. Why Atsushi had to be involved was beyond his understanding. A quick glance at Kunikida at least didn’t reveal immediate exasperation – maybe it was an actually important conversation.
That seemed like wishful thinking.
Atsushi set his bag down before walking to Dazai’s desk. He quickly closed the book and grinned up at Atsushi, waving obnoxiously at him. “Let’s go on a walk! I have something I want to talk to you about.”
“Alright…” What did he have to say that he couldn’t just say right here? Dazai jumped up, grabbing Atsushi’s arm and dragging him out the door.
“So I was reading the other day, and you’d never believe the craziest thing! I found out there are certain species of snails that can kill you from a single touch! Imagine tracking down a snail like that, a completely painless death! It would be so exciting, wouldn’t it, Atsushi? And a perfect candidate for a lovely double suici – ”
“What did you need to talk to me about?” Atsushi questioned. Somehow, suicide by snail didn’t seem to be a topic that they needed to leave the office for. It was no different than mushrooms, or snakes, or electrocution, or –
“Ah, so quick to get to the point! I was just getting to the good part with the snails, but I guess that can wait.” Dazai clicked his tongue, his hands in his pockets. For a brief moment, it was one of his few instances of… serenity. A strange calm washing over his face, hiding the normal goofiness his mentor held. That was quickly replaced by the same smile he usually wore, though. “I have a job for you! I was talking to the boss this morning, and we think you’re the best candidate for it.”
“Oh? Why isn’t he telling me about it?” A new job was exciting – especially Atsushi being the best candidate. Ranpo must be busy with something important if this was being entrusted on him outside of Ranpo’s knowledge entirely. He’d do his best to support the Agency and make sure that he performed the task to the best of his ability.
“Ah, he thought I’d be the best candidate. I’m afraid we’ve got another team-up we’d like to encourage!”
Atsushi’s stomach sunk, even without hearing who his teammate might be. Sure, it could be anyone, a total stranger even, that they would be pairing him up with, but there hadn’t been many instances of that lately. Instead, Dazai had been obnoxiously focused on making sure that he continuously teamed up with –
“Akutagawa’s the perfect match for it, too! You see, our informant mentioned that we’d need to send a couple in.” Dazai laughed. “You two fit the job perfectly, since it sounds like there’s some information the Port Mafia would really like no one other than us to have in the mix.”
“So me and Akutagawa have to work together to… do what exactly?”
“We hear there’s an ability user who’s been stealing quite a bit from Yokohama lately. The information the Mafia wants back in their hands, for example, but also quite a few expensive things! He’s hosting a banquet in a few weeks and we want the two of you there to stop him from whatever he might be planning. With the people he’s inviting, there’s no doubt it’s some kind of scheme.”
Ah, that was why Ranpo wasn’t given the mission. It was a mystery that they had already solved, but a case that they needed to finish with an arrest. If they already knew who the ability user was, Atsushi wasn’t sure why they weren’t arresting him already, but he wasn’t going to question that. Clearly, this was something that Dazai and the president had discussed, and as much as he didn’t want to work with Akutagawa, he would go along with the plan for their sake.
“That doesn’t sound so bad. But do you really think he’s going to be able to act like a team on something like that?”
“Nope! You won’t be a team.” Atsushi breathed out before pausing. They… wouldn’t? He wouldn’t have to face off against Akutagawa, would he? He was just as bloodthirsty as he’d been the first time that they met, and Atsushi was sure there was no way he was the best option to go if he had to face off against Akutagawa and his ability. Why couldn’t Dazai go and –
“You’ll be a couple, Atsushi.” Dazai’s grin was somehow more shit-eating than usual. Maybe he had touched one of those snails this morning and its venom was slow acting. Any moment now, he’d drop dead, that was the only reason he’d be acting so carelessly gleeful. “We’ll be sending you to the banquet as partners, but it’ll have to be convincing. Hope you have some time to go on a few dates before then!”
… dates.
“Dates!?” Atsushi voiced aloud. “I can’t even be in the same room with him without him trying to tear my limbs off with Rashoumon or actually doing it, and you want me to go on dates with him!?”
“Why couldn’t we talk about this in front of everyone else? Shouldn’t they know I’m dating a member of the Port Mafia?” Atsushi stared at Dazai in exasperation.
“You’d be surprised what they don’t need to know!” Dazai laughed, looking away from Atsushi for a moment before glancing back at him. “They can’t know. We don’t know if there are any other ability users working for him, and the fewer people know about the reality of the arrangement, the better. We don’t want to risk this.”
“But these dates will definitely be… fake.”
“As real or fake as you want! It’s the best way to get this done. I know we can count on you both, Atsushi!” Dazai’s voice trailed off as he walked down the alleyway before Atsushi could ask another question.
Atsushi considered following him, briefly. Wondered if it was worth the effort, if Dazai would even tell him any more than that.
And sounded like he was in charge of planning these stupid dates too. God… he didn’t want to do this at all.
Atsushi sighed, turning away from the alley and walking back to the Armed Detective Agency.
“Has Dazai told you our mission, weretiger?” Ah, there it was! The affectionate voice of his boyfriend for this mission. What a sweet surprise!
Atsushi had been on his way back to his dorm after dinner that night when he’d been ambushed by Akutagawa. The only reason he knew he wasn’t being attacked was because the other man allowed himself to be revealed with the sounds of his coughing before he’d dragged Atsushi off. Despite the involuntary reflex that a cough was, Atsushi had the feeling that Akutagawa wouldn’t let that reveal him in a real fight.
He allowed himself to be pulled into the alleyway for only that reason, but was still very on edge alone with Akutagawa.
“Uh, kinda.” Atsushi wasn’t sure that he would call the conversation with Dazai a mission brief, by any means, but it was… what he was going to get out of Dazai. He’d asked the president about it and not gotten too many more details than what Dazai had given; apparently he was the one who had found the ability user and volunteered Atsushi and Akutagawa. “Did he give you more details?”
Hopefully, Dazai had bothered to give either of them the details as to why exactly they had to pretend to be dating to successfully complete this mission.
Anything to explain why he had to work with Akutagawa again. Dazai should know by now that that was only bound to be a bad idea!
“I don’t know what he told you,” Akutagawa answered, bringing one hand up from where they were crossed against his chest to cover another cough.
Fine! That was fair! Dazai giving both of them anywhere near the same amount of details was unlikely, at least not given the same way. They probably had completely different missions. How else would he have convinced Akutagawa to go along with his plan?
(Sometimes, Atsushi wondered if Dazai’s true ability was to convince Akutagawa to do anything. It was like he didn’t even question the man.)
“We have to… fake date to stop an ability user from stealing a bunch of money? And to get some mafia information back?” Atsushi explained as briefly as possible, glancing at Akutagawa.
He was met with an eyeroll.
“Is that not enough for you, weretiger?” Akutagawa tucked his hands into the pockets of his coat, leaning against the alley’s wall.
“Why do we have to date?” Atsushi blurted (which was only slightly worse than simply saying no to him).
“Because apparently the only way Dazai could get us into the banquet was submitting a couple. The ability user is in Yokohama and we don’t know his exact identity or appearance. If we aren’t believable, he’ll know something is off. Both of us are fairly recognizable for who we are, or at least I am. There has to be another reason for us to be there.”
“And… reason enough is… because we’re dating?”
“I don’t pretend to understand how Dazai’s mind works.” (There was an unspoken “And I don’t want to” that Atsushi didn’t dare call out). “If he said this was the best way, then unfortunately this is what we have to do.”
Like he’d said! Unquestionably loyal.
“… fine.” It wasn’t worth arguing if Akutagawa and Dazai had already both set their minds on the idea, as much as Atsushi wanted to argue this idea to the ends of the world.
“We have dinner tomorrow.” Before he could even blink, Akutagawa reached into his pocket and outstretched his arm. Atsushi flinched, but no attack came. Akutagawa sighed like Atsushi’s very existence bothered him (he wasn’t alone!) “Give me your phone number.”
A phone had been thrust at him which Atsushi filled his details out in (saving his name as Nakajima Atsushi, but something gave him the feeling that wouldn’t last).
As soon as Akutagawa got his phone back, he turned on his heels and left.
“I’ll send you the details. Don’t be late.”
The restaurant that Akutagawa had chosen was… surprisingly down to earth. Atsushi had been torn between wondering if they were going to some secret hole in the wall where no one would hear him scream when Akutagawa tied him down and tore him to pieces permanently or some excessively expensive joint to show off his mafia money.
Instead, it was somewhere that, shockingly, he had been before. He made sure to arrive slightly early, dressed slightly nicer than he normally would to come here.
He didn’t immediately spot Akutagawa – he was practically unrecognizable to Atsushi without Rashoumon. Smaller, he looked almost…
Not weak. Weak wasn’t the right word, no matter what state Akutagawa was in. Even without his coat, Atsushi knew that his keen intellect would be able to rip him to shreds without a moment’s hesitation. He’d still find a way to destroy Atsushi before he had the chance to defend himself.
Small… gentle.
Akutagawa was dressed nicely still, and all in dark clothing, but the turtleneck drew attention away from the sharp angles and sickly features and made him look… more his age. Less someone aged by his life (Atsushi couldn’t help but wonder if he shared some of those features).
It was a surprisingly good look on him, but that didn’t take away from the fact that they were here on a date because Dazai had told them that they had to.
“You’re actually on time,” Akutagawa sounded impressed as Atsushi walked up to him.
“I didn’t want to be torn apart on our very first date.” Atsushi tugged on his sleeves nervously.
Akutagawa rolled his eyes, walking up to the host stand and talking softly before they were led back to a table.
They sat across the table from each other, and Akutagawa was completely silent until they ordered their food, and even then he spoke quickly and then lowered his menu, focused on his phone.
Atsushi tapped his fingers nervously against the table, looking throughout the restaurant. Suddenly, a warm hand covered his own.
Atsushi looked up. Akutagawa was staring right at him, his hand pressing one of Atsushi’s down, stopping the fidgeting.
Atsushi slowed the other hand’s movement.
Akutagawa didn’t take his hand away.
“We’re on a date. Might as well hold hands.” The words sounded vaguely like they pained Akutagawa to say, but… well, he wasn’t wrong.
“Right. Okay.” Atsushi wriggled his fingers underneath Akutagawa’s hand. He sat in silence for a few moments before it was too much to bear. “So… do you… come here a lot?”
“The food is decent enough, and the service is fast. If I must go somewhere to eat, it’s not the worst.” Right, because nothing was good for Akutagawa, it was just… better than the other things. Atsushi sighed, nodding his head.
“I’ve been here a few times, but only recently! It’s one of the places we’ll sometimes come with work, to just get something to eat and hang out for a little bit.”
Speaking of work…
Atsushi would recognize those voices anywhere. He looked away quickly, but it was too late. He’d seen them walking through the door, other members of the Armed Detective Agency.
Like this wasn’t already the most awkward date ever.
Atsushi glanced up at the familiar voices and immediately regretted it, trying to break the eye contact he’d accidentally made. His hand was still joined with Akutagawa’s on the table, and there was no way to hide that without everyone noticing. He just hoped, maybe, they might just happen to think that –
“Atsushi?”
Yeah. Of course. No such luck.
“Friends of yours?” Akutagawa muttered under his breath, like he wasn’t fully aware of the Armed Detective Agency’s other members.
Atsushi faked a smile, looking up from the menu. “Oh, hey! Didn’t expect to see you here?”
“You’re with – ”
“My boyfriend!” was maybe said a tad too quickly, judging by the looks on his coworkers’ faces. He wasn’t even going to turn his head to get Akutagawa’s undoubtedly displeased expression from the outburst.
“Your what?” Somehow, Junichiro’s outburst was overshadowed by Ranpo’s grin. He didn’t have to say a word for Atsushi to know that somehow the detective understood everything about the situation.
“His boyfriend, since you apparently don’t have ears.” Akutagawa’s scathing tone really added so much to this, didn’t it?
“They didn’t know!” Atsushi laughed awkwardly, curling his hand more around Akutagawa’s to try to hide the mistake. Akutagawa tensed which wasn’t helping things. “It was kind of a secret thing, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag!”
“Dude, you’re dating Akutagawa? Like from the Port Mafia. That Akutagawa.” Junichiro stayed put, shaking his head.
“What’s so surprising about me and the weretiger?” Akutagawa snapped, which, again, really didn’t help the case! Unless “weretiger”, said in such a way you could almost feel the disdain, was suddenly a cute nickname for your boyfriend, but Atsushi was pretty sure that he hadn’t missed that memo!
Atsushi raised an eyebrow. Akutagawa sank back into his seat, even if his glare was still fixed firmly on the other members of the agency.
“Well, that settles that! We’ll leave you two to it! Have fun on your date!” With a wave and a shit-eating grin, Ranpo walked off to somewhere deep in the restaurant where they must have a table ready.
Why hadn’t Dazai warned them against coming here of all places?
Akutagawa was silent the rest of the meal, a frown marring his face (not that that was anything new).
Hopefully, Ranpo would clear it all up for him.
Ranpo, in fact, did not clear it up. At all.
As soon as Atsushi arrived at the Armed Detective Agency’s headquarters that day, it was like no one had been working before he arrived – maybe they hadn’t been. Immediately, they were descending on him, demanding details of his relationship with Akutagawa, wanting to know every little detail.
Really, there was nothing quite like coming to work bright and early in the morning just for Kunikida to talk your ear off about the rumors he’d heard. Dating someone from Port Mafia… was Atsushi sure it was a good idea.
Yes, he’d said, while thinking anything but that. The sooner they got through this mission, the faster he’d be able to stop spending this much time with Akutagawa and explain himself to the rest of the Armed Detective Agency. He really wanted to squash this rumor as fast as humanly possible, but, well.
That would compromise this mission.
As he sat down, he saw Ranpo look at him with a pleased grin. Atsushi banged his head against the desk, misjudging the distance a little. Ah… that was going to leave a mark, wasn’t it?
Atsushi wondered briefly if this was what death was like. Maybe Dazai should try fake dating someone from the mafia. Seemed just as effective as any of his other methods.
Speaking of Dazai… where the hell was he?
His mentor was nowhere to be seen, and while that wasn’t entirely unusual for this early in the morning, while Atsushi was in the middle of a task that he had assigned, he sort of figured Dazai might at least make the attempt to actually show up.
At least with Dazai not there, Atsushi could focus on actually getting his tasks done. He picked up a packet from the overwhelming stack of papers and –
His phone began to ring.
Atsushi sighed, grabbing it and flipping it open, staring at the messages.
Dazai. Telling him he had to take Akutagawa to lunch, he had a lead, he’d meet them there.
This mission was never going to end.
“I’ll be on field for a few hours!” Atsushi exclaimed, setting the papers back onto the perilous stack (mournfully realizing he’d probably have to come back to deal with them and more later, considering that Dazai would definitely not be doing paperwork for this mission).
There was really something about getting lunch with not one but two members of the Port Mafia.
Maybe he should have been more suspicious when Dazai followed up his text with an address and a time instead of putting that on Atsushi to decide. He’d kind of just figured that was because Dazai didn’t seem to trust his taste (so sue him, up until he started working with the agency a few months ago, he was literally scraping by for food), but he should have been more suspicious.
Because Atsushi walked into the restaurant expecting to find Akutagawa and instead saw three people at a table. Dazai jumped up from his seat, waving Atsushi to join them. “Them” being Akutagawa, not bothering to dress down and instead wearing his full attire, Rashoumon and all, and another member of the mafia he quickly recognized as Nakahara, who was just as dressed up as Akutagawa.
Between that and Dazai’s… Dazai, they couldn’t do more to stand out against the rest of the café’s crowd.
Atsushi reluctantly walked to the table, sitting in the empty chair next to Akutagawa. With a look from Dazai and a supremely uncomfortable face, Akutagawa reached out to set an arm around his chair, glaring Dazai down all the while.
(“Is this what you wanted?” Atsushi could practically hear Akutagawa’s inner thoughts, dripping with pure vitriol. His were painfully similar, to be fair.)
“Are you and Nakahara involved in the mission now?” Atsushi tilted his head at the two, perking up a little at the cup of tea already at his seat. It was lukewarm and too sweet, but he still graciously took a sip of it. Akutagawa made an annoyed noise that Atsushi ignored – he found that got easier the longer they spent together.
“Chuuya,” Nakahara corrected immediately with a wrinkle of his nose.
“Oh, so informal already! Careful, or they might get the wrong idea of who Atsushi is dating!” Dazai leaned his chair into Chuuya,’s. “And no! I’d never work with that tiny man!” Dazai laughed cheerfully, reaching a hand out to Chuuya’s shoulder as Chuuya tried to kick at his chair. To keep him from causing a scene with his ability, maybe?
“Right. So… you’re here… because?”
“Because you two are pitiful at pretending to like each other.” Chuuya rolled his eyes, shoving Dazai off of him. “I hacked the cameras for the first place you guys went. That was pathetic. Did you say two full sentences to each other the entire night?”
Instead of saying what he wanted to (“Well, maybe that’s because I think he would rather tear out my still-beating heart than view me as a human being.”, or something along those lines!), Atsushi stared blankly at Dazai and Chuuya.
“And you’re here… because…”
“They’ve been dating nearly as long as I can remember, weretiger.” Akutagawa’s eyeroll said more than any amount of words could.
Great.
Fantastic.
“Step one to acting more like a couple, you gotta stop calling him that,” Chuuya piped up from across the table.
With the following clatter, Atsushi looked again to the two across from them. Dazai’s chair had somehow ended up tipped backwards, the man on the ground while Chuuya muttered something about “shitty Dazai.”
He breathed out slowly.
This was who was supposed to be giving them relationship advice? Somehow, Atsushi was a little… suspicious of any advice they had to give (about anything, but… especially dating!).
Somehow, things were only getting worse.
“You can’t start out your dates by ambushing each other with your abilities in alleyways.” Chuuya leaned back against his chair (which was thankfully back at the table). Akutagawa now sat between the two of them, forcing them across the table from each other, and Akutagawa and Atsushi in the opposite direction. “It’s not a cute surprise.”
“It can be!” Dazai chimed in, ever the least helpful person in the room. “As long as you don’t immediately tear off each other’s limbs! You have to set the mood first.”
If Chuuya had a gun, Atsushi thought, a bullet would go clean through Dazai’s brain right now. Maybe two or three, for good measure.
“You shouldn’t rip off your date’s limbs at all, idiot. Which I don’t trust you two not to do. No abilities.”
“You could try a walk in the park! Something spontaneous!” Dazai propped his head up on his hands, smiling at them, tilting his head as though he was imagining.
Chuuya snorted. “I just told them not to kill each other.” He rolled his eyes.
“What does spontaneity have to do with killing each other? Anyway, it would be much more romantic if they both killed – ”
Atsushi hadn’t known making someone drink tea could be quite so aggressive before that moment.
“Don’t listen to a word Osamu Dazai says. Any relationship would be better if it followed that advice.”
“What about us, my dearest slug?”
“I said what I meant.”
“Akutagawa, drape your coat on his shoulders some time. It’s affectionate without you actually having to touch him,” Chuuya recommended, kicking his feet onto the table.
“But that’s my – ” Akutagawa had paled immediately with the suggestion.
Dazai looked up from whatever he was doing to the table, looking Akutagawa up and down before clicking his tongue. He raised his eyebrows at Chuuya. “The boy is useless without that coat, chibi. Are you sure that’s sound advice?”
If looks could kill, everyone in the restaurant would be dead from the one Chuuya faced Dazai with.
“You have to have some variety. You can’t just take him out to eat for every date.”
“I wasn’t planning on – ”
Chuuya cut Akutagawa off with a single look and then focused his gaze on Atsushi instead. “You need to initiate the dates sometimes too. This shit can’t be one-sided or you’ll look like idiots.”
“We’ve only been on one date.”
“I know! But I’m not taking any risks!” Chuuya snapped.
“You know what would be romantic! Atsushi, your relationship would be the most believable if you took Akutagawa to a rooftop and – ”
“I’m going to throw you off a rooftop if you don’t shut your mouth, you shitty mackerel!”
“Do you promise that?” Dazai batted his eyelashes.
His chair hit the ground again.
“You don’t have to like everything about each other,” Chuuya finished, what felt like hours later. Dazai was tracing his fingers with a restaurant knife and Chuuya was pretending like he didn’t exist. “You don’t like everything about each other, and it’d be bullshit to try to fake that. I’ll trust that both of you are smart enough to see through something like that.”
“Not liking everything is different than not hating everything,” Atshushi muttered, but apparently not quietly enough. Chuuya’s eyes snapped to his, staring him down with a glare that did nothing to disguise his role in the mafia.
“Find some qualities you don’t hate.” Chuuya sighed, grabbing the knife from Dazai’s hand and slamming it into the table, just barely missing his skin. “It’ll be enough.”
With that, he grabbed Dazai’s arm and all but dragged him out of the restaurant.
“Don’t fuck this up.”
“See you lovebirds later!” Dazai waggled his fingers, letting Chuuya drag him from the restaurant. Atsushi barely heard him start to babble something about a double-suicide today before the door slammed shut.
You can still hate things about each other…
It was advice that might save the entire operation.
“You don’t think we have to… practice kissing or stuff like that, do you?” Atsushi asked quietly on their fourth date. They were on a rooftop playing card games, Kyoka’s painfully genuine suggestion when she’d seen Atsushi struggling with what they should do for their next date.
“No!” Akutagawa answered quickly, too quickly, with more emotion in his voice than Atsushi frankly thought he was capable of. He schooled his expression back to normal (back to nothing and rolled his eyes). “If the mission comes to that, we’ll simply be prepared for that. You’re not so bad a kisser you need the practice, are you?”
“I could ask the same of you!” Atsushi exclaimed with far too much confidence for someone who had never had his first kiss.
The rest of the date, he couldn’t stop thinking about how Akutagawa might kiss. Had he kissed someone before? He didn’t exactly strike Atsushi as someone who was in a lot of relationships, though he could be mistaken. Even after three dates, he knew… nothing about Akutagawa.
It was just curiosity, he told himself. Completely innocent, and because the mission might come to that!
That’s what he told himself.
“I guess we should get to know each other, if we’re dating.” Atsushi decided on their sixth date, hanging off of the edge of the bench to watch the birds in the pond behind them. Akutagawa’s hand was resting on his, but he was looking in the opposite direction.
“If we have to,” he said, just as bored as he ever sounded.
Atsushi persevered. “Do you have a favorite animal?”
“No.”
“… okay. Well! I like cats.”
“That’s awfully narcissistic of you, weretiger.” Akutagawa snorted.
Atsushi laughed, wondering if Akutagawa heard the self-deprecating tone as much as it was there. “… not as much as you apparently think. What about a favorite color?”
“Why would I have a favorite color?”
“People do! It’s not like that’s a weird thing to ask! A favorite… food?”
“Figs.”
“Figs!”
So Akutagawa did have interests!
Akutagawa didn’t quite hide his surprised expression when Atsushi showed up to their next date with a box of fig tea he’d found at the store.
Atsushi told himself that excited him because he’d managed to actually surprise Akutagawa and get him to show emotions other than boredom and hatred on his face.
That was all.
And he was only looking forward to their dates because it was technically work but he didn’t have to file paperwork!
The night of the banquet came shortly after their tenth date (they’d gone to the rooftop again, and had a picnic this time. Atsushi had found some fig sweets that Akutagawa had tried very hard to pretend like he didn’t like).
Akutagawa sent Atsushi coordinates to meet at that night, and sent him a scathing text reminding him of the dress code. Dazai had already taken him out that day to make sure that he had the clothes that he’d need for the night.
Akutagawa was wrapped in Rashoumon as he approached, but the coat was left open, a suit worth more than… Atsushi’s entire being underneath the weapon. He took Atsushi’s hand immediately, not saying a word as he started to walk.
“What’s our plan?” Atsushi asked.
“Get the information first. He’ll wait for his heist, so we need to handle that before he does. Whatever his plan is, we need to get rid of the information before he can use it.”
“And we’re going to do that by…?”
“Sneaking into his office.”
They made nice at the party just long enough to blend in and act like they were there for totally legitimate purposes. Akutagawa’s suit let them blend right into the exorbitantly wealthy people dining around them, and Atsushi just did his best to not feel uncomfortably out of place. As long as Akutagawa led, he would be fine! At least, that’s… what he was telling himself.
Akutagawa was spending an awful lot of time in his space, acting like the perfect boyfriend, adjusting his tie, holding his hand, an arm around his waist.
Were his touches always this warm?
“Now’s our chance, weretiger. Make it look like you’re going to the bathroom, but take a left and hide below the stairs. I’ll meet you there shortly,” Akutagawa murmured against his ear before tapping his shoulder, waltzing over to speak to another vaguely familiar party attendee.
Atsushi made his way to the bathrooms (not running, but definitely not minding the excuse to leave the party!), making sure no one was around before following what Akutagawa had recommended and walking off to the side. He waited for a few moments before Akutagawa slunk into the shadows like he belonged there.
“Let’s go. We have five minutes until he notices we’re gone, at most. His eyes have been on us since we walked in. He’ll know something is up, even if not the details immediately.” Akutagawa grabbed his hand and pulled him up the stairs.
Once they got to the office (which Atsushi really shouldn’t be surprised Akutagawa knew the exact location of), Akutagawa beelined straight to the computer, starting to crack into it.
Atsushi wandered the room, picking up assorted papers, trying to see if any of them had anything important to say.
Wait…
Atsushi grabbed the topmost paper from the stack, skimming through the words.
“Akutagawa – ”
Before he could speak, Akutagawa stood up abruptly, kicking the chair into the desk.
“Someone’s coming.” Atsushi looked at Akutagawa with wide eyes. Oh, they were so screwed. They were absolutely somewhere they should not be, and Akutagawa was almost certain to have his flashdrive still in the computer, with all of the drawers wide open.
Or… not.
Spirals of Rashoumon extended, pulling Atsushi closer to Akutagawa while simultaneously closing the drawers. A gasp of surprise flew from his mouth as he was pushed up against a wall, Akutagawa too close. Their breathing was practically one, and Atsushi grasped onto his arms to keep himself from making any other noises. Akutagawa covered his mouth with one hand, eyes careful on the door. His breathing was low, uneven, but careful. He was trying so hard to keep them from getting caught.
The footsteps kept growing closer and Akutagawa kept glancing from the door to Atsushi until –
Akutagawa’s hand moved just as quickly as it appeared and –
And then his lips were on Atsushi’s. Some subconscious part of his brain realized how soft they were. Akutagawa’s bottom lip was a little chapped, the skin scraping against Atsushi’s as he pulled away to try to get a better angle, but mostly they were soft. And Akutagawa kissed like he had no idea what was going on, but it was –
Atsushi was intoxicated in a way he didn’t even want to figure out an explanation for. He simply held onto Akutagawa’s coat tighter, pulling him in closer. Akutagawa laughed against his mouth, but the laughter was quickly silenced by another kiss, and another –
The door opened and Akutagawa made impressively quick work of getting a hand into Atsushi’s shirt. He winced at the sound of a button clattering into some corner of the room, but that was not a problem for right now.
Why was Akutagawa’s hand so cold?
“Why the hell are you two in here?” Akutagawa pulled back, surprisingly convincing shock on his face. Atsushi wasn’t sure he’d ever seen color on Akutagawa’s face, but now his cheeks were tinged pink, tracing even to the bottoms of his ear. It was –
Not something he could think about right now.
Atsushi trained his expression into something similar to Akutagawa’s before he turned his head, careful to tug his shirt closed again, pushing Akutagawa off of him a little.
“Ah, sorry! We just – had to get away for a minute.”
He could see the way his eyes scanned the room, checking for anything out of place. The papers were a little displaced still, but it was hopefully nothing that couldn’t be explained away with two young adults making out in the dark office.
“I’d recommend you find somewhere better next time.” But his eyes were focused on them again, and Atsushi let out his breath.
“Right, yeah! We’ll be right back!”
“Now.”
Atsushi nodded, moving away from Akutagawa and fixing his shirt before walking to where his button had rolled off. Akutagawa stepped in front of him, talking to the man. Atsushi carefully leaned closer to the computer, sliding the flashdrive into the pocket of his pants, just hoping that Akutagawa had managed to remove everything that they needed before he’d come in.
He grabbed the button, raising it up.
“Found it! Ready to go back?” He smiled innocently, walking over to join hands with Akutagawa again.
Akutagawa snorted, and Atsushi hallucinated the fact that he actually held his hand back gently instead of the usual grip that made it clear he’d rather be doing anything else. Wow! That kiss had really… blown his mind. Holy shit.
“Did you find everything?” Akutagawa asked lowly, rolling his eyes at the button in Atsushi’s hand.
“Yep, think this was it! You should really be more careful next time. Sewing buttons back on is a pain.”
Maybe… he hadn’t hallucinated the way Akutagawa’s face lit up at the mention of next time.
“Couldn’t help myself.” It was awfully muttered to be just an act for the man leading them back to the rest of the party.
…
Akutagawa was hiding a smile behind his most recent cough.
It made Atsushi smile.
Oh.
That was something that he absolutely could not think about while they were still in this room! What the hell was he supposed to do about that?
Did he…
Chuuya had told them to find some things that they didn’t hate about each other.
Atsushi suddenly realized…
Maybe…
There was quite a bit of that.
“Did you figure anything out, weretiger?” Akutagawa’s words startled Atsushi out of his thoughts and he blinked hard before looking at the other man, his mouth agape for a moment. Akutagawa raised his eyebrows and Atsushi cleared his throat.
“Oh, I, yeah, when I was – ”
“Get to the point!” Akutagawa’s words were more clipped than they’d been… in a few dates. Atsushi had fucked something up. Great! It was fine, they didn’t have time for Akutagawa’s attitude right now, anyway.
“When you were on the computer! I found this.” Atsushi shoved the paper toward Akutagawa and he snatched it from him, skimming the words quickly.
“It’s not tonight?”
“Apparently not. And that means if we arrest him now – ”
“We can stop it all from happening.”
“Yeah!”
Apparently that was the moment they were allowed to call in reinforcements. It wasn’t even a fight, just… really easy, actually. Kunikida and Dazai showed up and got the man in handcuffs before he could fight back.
And that just left… Akutagawa and Atsushi.
Guess this was all over!
Good. Thank god.
Right?
Atsushi shook the thoughts from his head, undoing the tie so it wasn’t nearly as tight on his neck as helped clean up the mess that was left behind from the quick fight and party. Everyone else had pretty much left, and he was one of the few left.
He was pretty sure Akutagawa had vanished the second that the Armed Detective Agency sent in their reinforcements. He hadn’t seen him since Dazai showed up, and that was probably for the best.
He was probably happy to get out of the there and not have to deal with Atsushi any more.
God, why was that prying at him so much?
Did he… like Akutagawa? Seriously? That much?
He grabbed the bag of trash he’d finished gathering and waved goodbye to the rest of the attendants, walking out to the back of the building to throw it in the dumpster. If he left now, he could get himself a decent meal before he headed back to his dorm and ended up at work the next day.
There would probably be endless paperwork after this one, wouldn’t there? Considering he had technically been working on the whole thing for months. Would the Agency pay for his dates now that they were definitely completely because of the mission?
He felt weird asking.
He’d had fun on those dates. They hadn’t really felt like work.
Atsushi was distracted when the black tendrils approached him, and caught off guard when he was pulled into the darkness.
He lifted his arms, ready to pull out his ability but –
“Nakajima.” The only thing that made him stop was the fact that Akutagawa had said his name.
Atsushi turned around, staring Akutagawa down. Akutagawa took a step forward, taking his sweet time approaching Atsushi.
Once he was close enough, he met their lips, much faster than when they were in the office, pulling away slowly and remaining close.
“We should go on another date.”
“Okay.” Atsushi couldn’t get his voice above a whisper, his eyes wide as he watched Akutagawa.
“But we’re not telling Dazai.”
“Right. Yeah. No,” Atsushi agreed readily, grabbing onto Akutagawa to pull him into another kiss.
“How was your date last night, Atsushi?” Ranpo asked bright and early.
“Ahaha, that mission’s over!” Atsushi stumbled over his feet, wanting to crawl into a hole from his obvious lie. Was that ditch Dazai had dug for his latest suicide attempt still in the courtyard? Maybe he should go out there.
Dazai looked up, a horrifically confident smirk filling his features. “You had a date last night? With someone we know? Planning your own romantic double suicide any time in the future?” Dazai sing-songed.
“No one you know!” Atsushi denied, but he should have known better.
“It was with Akutagawa,” Ranpo answered at the same time, popping a few pieces of candy into his mouth. “I thought that was fake.”
“Uh… not any more.”
“Huh! Don’t bring him here.” Ranpo focused back on the papers in front of him, a handful of candy entering his mouth.
Dazai was sitting at his desk on his phone, a fantastically accomplished look on his face for someone who had undoubtedly done nothing so far today.
Atsushi’s phone buzzed.
An unknown number had texted him not to fuck it up.
And then to smack Dazai over the head for him.
Atsushi texted Chuuya back in bewilderment.
And made a point to kick Dazai’s chair when he walked past.