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Kanae crept downstairs in the early morning, as slowly and carefully as a child sneaking downstairs on Christmas morning. The trap had been set, now it was time to see if his mysterious foe had sprung it.
For the past several days, the Tsukiyama manor had a strange issue. Every night, they’d wake up to find the kitchen absolutely trashed, a mess of wrappers and crumbs laid out all over the place. Whatever it was, it was strong (every lock they’d tried putting on the pantry and fridge at night had been smashed), and extremely persistent (salting and spicing things hadn’t done anything to dissuade its nightly binges). Sick of cleaning up the mess each morning, Kanae devised a more clever plan: a triple-layer chocolate cake, lovingly frosted, topped with strawberries and whipped cream… and spiked with an unbelievable amount of crushed weight gain pills from his own personal stash. He left it on the counter last night; it was now time to see if they’d taken the bait.
He peeked through the kitchen door, and as he expected, the cake platter was nearly licked clean, only a few stains of icing and some crumbs on the counter remaining as proof that it had ever been full. With a smug smirk, he crept into the kitchen, looking around - and his jaw dropped.
His hope was that the cake would be the first thing they went to, and the weight gain would dissuade them from coming back. Instead, the kitchen was STILL a mess, an absolute pile of wrappers and discarded boxes thrown everywhere, stains of pasta sauce and bits of rice all over the lovely tile he’d spent so long mopping just the day before! He clenched his jaw, enraged. Whoever had done this was going to pay DEARLY.
Kanae stormed into the room, ready to beat whoever did this within an inch of their life - before jumping back in fright when he realized that they were still here! A large butt and two fat legs were sticking out of the lowest door of the cupboard, muffled snarling and thrashing noises emitting from the little gaps around the edges that weren’t filled with fat.
It got even worse when he took a closer look - a big rinkaku pinned between the sidefat and the hole. It wasn’t a regular one, either; it was much, MUCH larger than any he’d ever seen before, at least a foot and a half thick, bloated and pulsating ferociously in a way he’d only heard legends about. No, this wasn’t a regular ghoul - this was a kakuja!
He debated turning back and getting backup, since there was no way he could defeat the intruder alone. A kakuja was something quite frightening! They were tougher, more durable, and significantly more ravenous than your average ghoul, and almost impossible to satisfy, even with a meal of human flesh. It took a ton of human food to fill up even a regular ghoul, he couldn’t imagine that even this much was enough to keep a kakuja from being hungry enough to tear into the nearest living thing for a quick snack.
The creature stopped, sensing his presence, and Kanae held his breath in terror. Soon after, the creature continued its struggle, trying to move but failing. He sighed in relief, realizing it must be stuck.
It must be… stuck…?!
Kanae couldn’t help himself and started to giggle, which then erupted into full-on laughter. A kakuja was a terrifying monster, a creature that even the strongest of ghouls would be afraid to face one-on-one… and here it was, outsmarted with a spiked cake and a tight little crawlspace! His laughter caused him to stumble a bit and slip on one of the many cupcake wrappers scattered about, crashing to the ground.
His laughter subsided as he picked up one of the wrappers and looked at it - red velvet . “You-” he hissed, face going red. “You greedy hog! These were for Shuu’s return from his business trip tomorrow! How DARE YOU! You have no right to touch his food!”
The kakuja didn’t even seem to notice his anger, continuing to thrash and struggle.
“What’s even in there that you want so badly, anyway?! Wasn’t the rest of our kitchen enough for you, you disgusting whale?” He thought about what was stored down there, all he could remember were some canned veggies, and... “Oh! You can smell Matsumae’s secret stash of gingerbread cookies, huh? Oh, you’re in for a world of pain if you manage to reach them!”
Getting up and walking over to the pathetically wedged lower half, Kanae put his foot on one of the buttcheeks and pressed down, feeling how soft it is. “There’s almost no muscle here, not even a bit! You must be relying 100% on the inherent strength of a kakuja, hm? No wonder you can’t get yourself out!”
Kanae decided to press his luck, giving it a kick to the side-fat to emphasize how pathetic the blob was - and he soon regretted it. He wasn’t even finished formulating his retort before the thrashing quickly changed. Wood began to splinter as he realized the kakuja was now trying to back out, angrily storming towards his direction. He started backstepping, getting ready to sprint for help, but once again tripped, this time on an empty box of toaster waffles. He crashed down hard, his back throbbing in pain.
As he tried to crawl backwards towards the door, the pantry exploded, the kakuja smashing its way to freedom and crawling towards him on all fours. It got on top of him, its fat body crushing him, constricting his breathing. Terrified, he looked the creature in the eyes, seeing its horrific three-eyed mask, its long beak-like nose, and a trail of red streaking down the side of its mouth. Kanae prepared himself to be eaten alive, before realizing it wasn’t blood, it was… strawberry jam?
“MORE…” the creature snarled at him.
“W-What…?!” Kanae managed to choke out, trying to gasp for breath, but his chest was unable to expand. The kakuja was unbelievably heavy, several hundred pounds at the absolute least, and he didn’t know how long his tiny frame would last with this much on top of him.
“More everything!” it continued to yell. “Hungry, HUNGRY!”
“Y-Yes, I’ll-!” he started to say, but ran out of breath. He started choking as his ribcage ached from the weight on top of it.
Apparently satisfied by that response, the kakuja rolled off him, and Kanae got to his feet, panting heavily. He looked over at the creature and finally got a decent look at it.
The kakuja was a man, though he couldn’t tell how old with his face masked. He had short and uneven white hair, like he’d taken a knife or pair of scissors to it whenever it got long enough to annoy him. His whole body was clad in some tight, clingy, dark material that looked like it had seen better days, tearing in places where his growing body had become too much for the material to handle. His belly was divided into two rolls, sticking out of a big hole in the center of his outfit. Kanae had never been good at judging the size of things, but with how heavy he’d felt, this thing had to be at least six or seven hundred pounds, possibly even more! There was no way that the small handful of pills Kanae spiked the cake with would be enough to cause this … He wondered how long this kakuja had been raiding houses like this. He’d only been an issue for the Tsukiyama household for a few days now, but he couldn’t have gained this much that quickly, no way!
Getting another look at that mask, he realized who it was - Centipede, an infamous kakuja from the 20th Ward, known for raiding dumpsters and crawling through open windows in search of anything edible, like a raccoon - if raccoons were a little over five feet tall, had opposable thumbs, and were armed with a dozen seven-foot-long tentacles that it would use to tear apart anything that stood between it and a good meal. Centipede wasn’t known for going after live meals from what he remembered, but the danger still felt very real to Kanae.
As he got to his feet, the fat man jumped up almost immediately, pinning him to the wall with his belly. “Food. NOW.” he snarled, that mouth full of sharp teeth serving as a reminder of what would happen to Kanae if he failed. Centipede stepped back a little bit, letting him go, but remaining close. One of those big and meaty tentacles snared along the ground, blocking his way to the door, and Kanae knew running wasn’t an option.
Quickly, he looked through the fridge and the shelves, trying to find something that Centipede hadn’t eaten. Everything immediately prepared, or edible in its current state, was gone. A stock of groceries that could keep the entire Tsukiyama household, servants included, full for weeks... just utterly gone, lost to one man’s insatiable greed.
The only things that were left were raw ingredients, things that probably didn’t even register to Centipede as being food in its current state. He grabbed a quick-bake brownie mix and hurriedly mixed it with water. No eggs and no milk remained in the kitchen, but in Centipede’s state, he didn’t think he’d care if it was just some chocolatey mush instead of a proper brownie. Kanae stuffed the pan in the oven, but with dread, realized that the scent would make Centipede even hungrier. He needed something else, and fast .
He suddenly remembered something - last Christmas, of course ! Kanae climbed onto the counter and began fishing around the very back of the cabinet. There, stuffed behind the glassware, were three very large fruitcakes! They’d been a gift from Shuu; he wanted to do some “traditional” European Christmas things for Kanae to make him feel more at home, and apparently heard about fruitcake online. He appreciated the sentiment, but… fruitcake . He inspected it, seeing it was still completely solid and remained unmoldy. It was just as inedible now as the day it was baked, and still hard as a brick. He hoped it would buy him some time to figure out something else to feed him.
After hopping down off the counter, Centipede immediately snatched the fruitcakes out of his arms and started trying to eat them. He opened his jaw wide and tried to grind some flakes of cake off the solid blocks with his molars, but was having little success. Kanae saw a glimmer of hope that he’d be distracted, creeping towards the door… then he felt a tentacle catch his leg, squeezing it tightly.
“I… I need to get something from the storage downstairs.” Kanae said, half-bluffing. There was some more food stored down there, but mostly, he just wanted an excuse to get out of that room. Centipede seemed satisfied with that and released him, and Kanae practically bolted out of the room.
As he hurried downstairs, Kanae frantically hammered “How to deal with a Kakuja” into his phone, desperately trying to find any information on what he should do. Unfortunately, the internet wasn’t any help; everything he found on the first five pages of results just said “get away”, but he wasn’t encountering the creature on the street - it was in his home ! And even if he did run away, there were still other people here! Sure, Centipede hadn’t made any moves to eat him yet, but that could just be because there were still treats to eat, what would happen when that ran out?!
Finally, he found a forum thread that gave him some advice he could use. It explained that kakujas were at their most powerful when hungry, losing all rationality as they became more and more ravenous, and the only thing that could calm them down was being stuffed to painful extremes. If running wasn’t an option, then this was going to be his best bet.
He looked around to see what he had as a choice. Rice? No, not filling enough. Soup? Kanae really didn’t want to let him make more of a mess if he didn’t have to… There were many raw ingredients, but Centipede wouldn’t be kept satisfied for much longer, he didn’t have time to cook anything for him. What to do, what to do…!
It was then that he spotted the freezer, and remembered. Shuu loved ice cream; beyond anything else, it was his favorite food, the one thing he craved more than anything else in the world. Which meant… they had several gallons of the stuff on-hand at any given time. Kanae pulled out a few tubs and some milk, and got to work.
Looking for more ingredients, he noticed something in the back of the closet, a curious tube he couldn’t remember seeing before. He pulled it out. It was some sort of pump, attached to a massive tub, and the tube was just perfectly shaped to go in someone’s mouth. Was this… a feeding machine? Who bought this, and why? It looked like it had never been used… The edges of Kanae’s mouth curled. If Centipede is hungry, well, who am I to deny him a massive meal?
A few minutes with the blender later, Kanae returned, hauling the machine behind him. Centipede was furious, repeatedly smashing the fruitcake against the tile floor in an attempt to break it into a more manageable size, but failing miserably. The brownie pan lay on the floor, the batter messily slurped from it (and he realized that in his haste, he’d forgotten to turn the oven on in the first place…). As soon as Kanae re-entered the room, Centipede abandoned his festive treat and lunged at him, pinning him to the wall with his fat.
“FOOD!” he demanded. “REAL FOOD! NOW!”
As Centipede chanted “Hungry, hungry, hungry” over and over again, Kanae shoved the tube into his mouth. Taken aback, Centipede stumbled, giving him the opportunity to hit the “ON” button on the feeding machine. Almost immediately, thick and creamy milkshake hit the inside of Centipede’s mouth, and he moaned with delight, falling to the floor with a reverberating CRASH that Kanae desperately hoped would wake someone up, just in case this didn’t work. Centipede held the tube with both hands, trying desperately to slurp it even faster.
Kanae stood cautiously, feeling conflicted. He wanted SO badly to tease this pathetic hog, this ravenous animal, for his gluttony… but he was still a kakuja, after all. Still, he couldn’t resist poking some of the generous amounts of back fat oozing from the open back of his outfit. It was amazing that he was so strong despite being an absolute blob of a man; kakuja really were something else.
Centipede began to slow down, starting to get full… but Kanae didn’t want to hear it. “You ate our whole kitchen, made this much of a mess, and when I hand-deliver you a meal, you don’t eat it?” he said, mocking offense to hide his anger at the situation. “Think of who’s going to have to mop all this up! You owe me this, at least!”
He grabbed the tube and shoved it further into Centipede’s mouth, refusing to let him stop. Centipede grabbed Kanae’s wrist with both hands and tried to push his arm away, but he seemed lethargic and tired, drained of strength, and was helpless to stop him. On and on, he was forced to drink, the upper portion of his stomach starting to get taught. Centipede was making muffled shouts of distress, but Kanae didn’t care. “Just another gallon to go and then you’re done!” he beamed.
For the first time since this ordeal began, Centipede’s expression changed. No longer did he look angry and ravenous, but more… scared. He looked concerned and afraid, eyes pleading with Kanae to stop and let him go, he’d clearly had enough! Kanae didn’t stop, though, continuing to hold the tube in place.
Centipede closed his eyes in pain, seemingly ready for the inevitable… when the flow stopped. Kanae pulled the tube out, expecting Centipede to go feral again, to do something to punish him for the force-feeding… but instead, the mask began to shift and shake, becoming less solid. Soon, it and the tentacles that were spread all across the floor began to retract. Kanae gasped as the kakuja transformed, returning to being a normal ghoul.
“S-So full…” the man moaned. The edges of his pudgy cheeks were dripping with ice cream, his eyes glazed over. He looked moments away from the biggest sugar coma of his entire life.
“Whoa…” Kanae gasped. “What… Who are you?”
“Sorry…” the man mumbled, looking at the mess of a kitchen. “I was just… so hungry…”
“That’s the best explanation you can muster?! I get hungry too, but I don’t destroy an entire kitchen !”
“I can’t control myself when I get hungry… and I’ve been hungry for so long .” the ghoul that had once been Centipede moaned. “I really am sorry… I didn’t mean to make so much of a mess…” He tried to get to his feet, but his weight and lethargy made it difficult, and pain shot through his body. A dangerous creaking noise came from his stomach, making it clear what would happen if any pressure was applied to it.
Kanae scoffed at this helpless fatty, summoned all the strength he could muster, and helped him up.
With one hand massaging his overfull stomach, Centipede began walking for the window, which Kanae just now realized was open - had someone forgotten to close it last night? Clearly, that was how Centipede had gotten in… but with how big and bloated he was, there was no way he’d fit, and the constant creaking noises coming from his stomach suggested that even trying was a terrible idea. “I’ll… I’ll leave…”
“Leave?! No, no way!” Kanae balked, before taking a deep breath and regaining his composure. “You’re in no condition to leave. Think of all the terrible things that could happen to your poor fragile tummy like this! No, you’re staying. You look like you could use a nap anyways.”
“I…” the man started, but he stumbled, the weight of his belly ruining his ability to balance. Kanae caught him, letting the huge man lean on him for some small amount of support.
“Come with me.” he said, and began leading Centipede towards a guest bedroom.
“Are you… sure this is okay?” he asked, waddling through the door. “After I stole so much from you…”
Kanae helped him down onto the bed. As soon as his back was on it, Centipede began massaging his overfull tummy, trying to aid digestion, or at least numb some of the burning pain. “Of course! The master of the house will be so… pleased to meet you!”
As he said this, he pulled out a set of handcuffs, smirking evilly. In one fluid motion, he pulled Centipede’s right arm up from his stomach and cuffed it to the bed frame.
“Oh, he’ll be just thrilled to meet the man who ate all of his favorite ice cream!”
“What are you doing?” Centipede pulled against the handcuff, but it was very solid, and in his exhausted state, he wasn’t in any condition to try and fight back or escape.
Kanae ignored his question, hurrying to the other side and putting another pair of cuffs on his other arm. “And of course, he’ll be SO pleased when the red velvet cupcakes he was promised are all gone! Oh, he’ll be falling over himself to meet the person responsible face-to-face!”
“I’m so sorry! I swear, I-”
“Save it!” he shouted, his smirk growing wider and more sinister. “You’re staying right here until Shuu comes home and decides what to do with you!”
Without his kakuja to aid him, Centipede had absolutely no strength, and especially not when he was fighting off the biggest sugar coma of his life. He looked up at Kanae, eyes full of guilt and fear.
“For now, rest up. You’ve got a lot of digesting to do… After all, lunch is in just four hours, and I’m sure a big man like you will be able to eat loads! And what kind of a host would I be if I didn’t make sure you were filled to the absolute brim before I let you stop?”
Centipede continued to struggle, but his already-weak thrashing was quickly losing steam. In only a few moments, Centipede’s overfull stomach forced him to sleep, snoring loudly. Kanae just laughed, heading for the door. “I’ll leave you to it!” he said, smug joy filling the little man. He’d make the hog think twice before stealing from his family again!