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“I’m going in as part of the event entertainment.” Neal declares like she’s already got a whole plan set in stone, not at all different from her usual, but that does make sense. A huge party with security checking invitations against the guest list seems like overkill for a seven year old’s birthday party. But when your father is CEO of the American branch of a multi-national company and has been embezzling the kind of money that gets him bumped to the top of the FBI’s radar as well as running a series of Ponzi schemes on the side? Maybe the security on the mansion is just par for the course.
“Oh, sure, you can probably smuggle plenty of bugs in with a magic act.” Jones tosses out.
“Nah, all eyes are on the actual performers. I’m the sidekick this time. Balloon animal booth.” Neal gives a blinding grin and jazz hands to go along with it. “It’s more mobile than a magic act.”
Neal is right. She slips in with the rest of the entertainment; a magician, a face painter, a guy running the bouncy houses (Yes, they set up two of them on the fenced in lawn.) and Neal, Nanette for the day, all hired through three different agencies. The bugs are placed, and she takes pictures of what evidence she can see without picking any locks, sending them to a bureau email. After she wanders though the study and back out into the party she makes some truly impressive balloon sculptures. (Was the two foot tall rainbow unicorn really necessary or just showing off? Sure the birthday girl loved it, and Neal had waited until after her sweep to show off, but still.)
After the case is wrapped up, enough evidence gathered in a way that they can use it in legal proceedings and the arrest made, when Neal stands to leave Peter can’t resist asking. “Okay, where did you learn to make balloon animals like that?” What kind of con required her to learn such a niche skill?
“Weeeelll,” Neal draws out as she turns to face the room with a grin, making sure she’s captured Diana and Clinton’s attention as well as a few other agents still at their desks, “you know how the Gotham hero Robin is considered some kind of Dr. Who-ish meta or alien who periodically shape shifts and probably regenerates because of the personality changes?”
“Yes,” it’s Clinton, a fan of the Gotham duo Batman and Robin, who replies. Personally, Peter did not actually know that that was the prevailing theory on Gotham’s potential child soldier (soldiers?), but he’s a sane person and thus tries not to think about Gotham as much as possible.
“So, allegedly, I may have been in and around the Gotham area about five years ago when the latest Robin regeneration happened.” It’s moments like this that Peter really regrets letting Neal join the team, when he absolutely knows he’s going to hear about some outrageous heist that Neal left no evidence behind and he can’t even use her next statements to incriminate her. “And while I was there I came across Batman and Robin, and when Batman himself turns to you and says ‘Balloon animals are an essential tool that every crime fighter needs to know incase they ever need to calm down a scared civilian, don’t you agree?’ The only correct answer is ‘Yes, sir.’ Of course he then had to teach Robin and I how to make balloon animals, there was a test afterwards and everything.”
Neal’s gravelly Batman voice is scarily accurate to what Peter remembers from the few times he’s heard Batman speak at a Justice League press briefing, but that’s no surprise, Neal is an impressive mimic and has an almost frightening ability to change her voice. In the last three years working together he’s seen her play probably well over a hundred different people of differing accents and vocal ranges over the phone. What is surprising is that absolutely none of Neal’s story so far has set off Peter’s gut in the slightest; if he didn’t know it was impossible he’d think she was telling the truth.
“Sure, Caffrey,” Diana laughs, “and what exactly were you doing that you just happened to bump into Batman and Robin?”
“Allegedly, I may have been committing some identity theft at the time.” Neal reaches out to swipe her ever so beloved fedora from the bust on her desk.
“Whose identity did you steal? Catwoman?” Diana, why tempt fate like that, if Neal turns out to be Catwoman Peter might have to strangle someone.
Neal flips the hat onto her blonde hair with a laugh, “Nah, Batgirl was way easier.”