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As soon as Mirio woke up, he could tell that something was wrong. There was an odd pain in his stomach and his thighs were suspiciously warm. Throwing back the covers, the sight he was met with was one that the blond had hoped never to re-live.
Blood.
Sure enough, Mirio’s boxers and sheets were stained with the red liquid.
The normally happy boy’s lip quivered at the very blunt reminder that he, in fact, was not a real boy. Tears built up in his eyes as he ran to the shower.
Honestly, Togata couldn’t stand showering unnecessarily, having to look in the mirror usually wasn't something he could face. Having his quirk also made things difficult, going through walls and everything else removed his clothes… including his binder. The fight with class 1-A had left him terrified that someone would be able to see who he was born as.
Water poured from the shower head as Mirio stripped (avoiding the mirror) and stepped into one of the cubicles. Togata couldn't hold it in any longer as he slid to the floor, knees to chest and sobbed into his legs. He used to be so much better at dealing with his… period.
But after starting testosterone, he hadn't gotten one in over 2 years. Mirio’s eyes drifted down to his chest as another wave of tears fell over him. This wasn’t him!
‘Why couldn't I have just been born in the right body for fucks sake?! Was that too much to ask’ The boy swore in his mind.
There were only a few people that knew about his transition and only a small percentage of them actually accepted him for it.
One person Mirio knew he could rely on was Tamaki. God, Amajiki had saved his life and when Mirio had asked him out and Tamaki said yes, well let's just say that Mirio’s cheeks hurt by the end of the day.
Thoughts of his blue-haired boyfriend swam around his mind and succeeded in cheering him up a touch… before he remembered that he didn't have any pads, and tampons were just a no.
The blond boy knew that his boyfriend had some stashed away just in case… but Mirio almost couldn't bear the idea of having to ask Amajiki to bring him one. Standing up, Mirio stuck his head under the spray and cranked up the heat. The hurting teenager allowed the water to wash away his thoughts for a while, after he deemed himself clean enough and actually ready to face the world, he jumped out, stuffing tissues into his boxers and making a mad dash to his dorm room.
There he sat, phone in, trying to sum up the courage to actually press the button, his hands shook violently as he did.
“h-hello?” Mirio gave no answer other than a deep shaky breath.
“Mirio, are you okay?” The blue haired boy stammered, suddenly nervous for his lover.
“Uh, yeah, Tamaki could… Could you do me a huge favour?” Amajiki didn't think he’d heard his partner this nervous in, well, years, and it was scary.
“Of course, what do you need?”
The blond took a steading breath. “Could you bring me over some… pads please” It was quiet and timid but Tamaki still heard the request and immediately agreed. A few minutes later the boy was at Togata’s dorm with supplies. Mirio thanked him and grabbed the pads before stripping and putting everything into place. By now his back was killing him and standing became nearly impossible.
“Here, I know you wouldn’t have taken anything. I also brought your heating pad and some snacks.” Stuttering long gone, Amajiki thrust the painkillers towards his boyfriend.
“I- Thank you Tama.” Tears pricked his eyes at the kind gesture. Amajiki made a move to leave but the blond stopped him.
“Please don't go… Can you just hold me?” A light blush coated both their cheeks as Tamaki wrapped his poor lover up in a blanket and placed his hands on the blond's back. Laying them both down, silence encased them for a while before he heard it.
“Why me? This isn't who I am… I shouldn't be bleeding or, or doing this! These shouldn't be here!” He gestured widely to all the incorrect spots on his body, having forgone a binder due to the pain.
“I don't know honey, but I do know what you are, and that is an amazing person. Your body doesn't define you.'' Tamaki placed a kiss to the top of his head, he looked down at his boyfriend sadly. Mirio had always helped his shoulders back and head high, he’d always been taller than Amajiki but now, now the blond looked so small. He'd curled up into Tamaki’s chest and hunched his shoulders in. He looked so fragile, so helpless... so lost.
“I’m not even a real man. I'll never actually be a man! I’ll always be a pathetic excuse of one. An ugly girl just trying to draw some attention to herself. I hate getting up every morning because I have to look in the mirror and see someone who isn't me staring back. I have to see this imposter, this monster… this, this thing!” Tears poured down Mirio’s cheeks as he released his deepest secrets.
For a moment Amajiki stayed silent and still, processing the words that had just come out of his boyfriend's mouth. His heart absolutely shattered at the words. Togata tensed, fearing that he'd hurt the manifesting boy or that the latter had realized that he wasn’t worth it.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it. Sunshine, look at me.” Bloodshot eyes rose into view, tears clinging to their lashes.
“Your body is not who you are. For some reason when they were doing all the checks they marked something wrong in the whole ‘gender’ department. That's no one's fault. Especially not yours and even if you had blue skin or clawed hands, you’d still be my hero. My amazing, strong boyfriend. That'll never change. Okay?” Tamaki’s words brought more tears down Mirio’s face. Although he may act all confident, he often felt very insecure and dysphoric. He hated the fact that he had a ‘girls’ chest and he worked so hard to build enough muscle to hide his small waist and legs.
“I'm sorry, I- my dysphoria is just really bad and I hate it so much. I hate myself so much” The blond's words were timid but Tamaki heard him perfectly.
“I know sunshine and that’s okay. I’ll always be here for you.” It was true.
The two boys loved each other so much and they continued through their mistakes and faults, they were only human and it made Mirio sigh a breath of relief to know that he could lean on his boyfriend for things like this, it made him feel like a man and it made him love Tamaki even more.