Work Text:
Haru: Haruto, get off your lazy ass and get a job already!
Haruto: I already have a job, Ma. It's my day off.
Haru: Well, get up and help me out! I'm sick and tired of you and your father lazing around while I do all the work around here!
Haruto: But Mom, me and Dad spent the whole day unclogging drain pipes and repainting the guest bathroom salmon pink, like you wanted!
Haru: If you'd consulted a professional like I asked you to, you would've saved yourselves a whole afternoon of wasted work. I mean really, who on Earth gets pink salmon mixed up with freaking fuchsia!?
(Haru and Haruto stare daggers at Legoshi, who keeps reading his paper like nothing happened).
Legoshi: It was an honest mistake.
Haru: Same as eating Louis's foot instead of, oh I dunno, calling the police when you were trying to solve that murder!?
Legoshi: You're never gonna let that go, are you, hon?
Haru: Not as long as I live.
Legoshi (miffed): Then why stop there? Aren't you also gonna blame me for that time a hybrid nutjob gave himself a boner by knifing himself in front of you?
Haru: Huh?
Legoshi (getting angrier): Or that time I had to rip out my teeth so that crazy equine boomer who's obviously gay for my grandpa wouldn't turn me into fertilizer!?
Haruto: Dad?
Legoshi (furious): Or that time I got naked inside a digital vixen and fathered an omnipotent waifu 'coz reasons!?
Haru: That's not even canon in this universe!
Legoshi: Far as you know.
Haru: Did you forget your meds again?
Legoshi: Which ones? The purple ones?
Haru: Your antidepressants.
Legoshi: The blue ones?
Haru: No, those're your... (Remembers Haruto's there). ...special pills.
Legoshi: The orange ones?
Haruto (blushes awkwardly, gets up with a leap): You know what, Mom? Why don't you let me take care of dinner today? Both of you could use a break.
Haru/Legoshi (burning red): That'd be great, thanks.