Chapter Text
You watched as the new recruits for the nightswatch formed a circle and spared with their swords. They were completely miserable at it. Barely competent enough not to stab their eyes out, or fall on their swords and die. That would have been far more entertaining than watching well, this- you thought to yourself. These were just robbers, rapists or just poor kids that knew nothing about combat or skills in fight.
Your hand itched for your sword, you wanted to teach them how to just, at least, hold it right. But you couldn’t. You had to remain the least visible posible, for you were a distraction, a liability.
But he wasn’t.
Jon approached them with easy steps, the beautiful sword already in his hand. Pyp and Sam walked by his side, like loyal followers, but you didnt pay a bit of attention as your eyes became glued to the sword, like a magnet.
The bear. It was gone.
In its place now was a wolf, a beautiful hand-scraped white wolf. You hadn’t noticed that before.
Your chest felt tight and your mouth dry.
“Do any of you even know how to hold a sword properly?” Jon voice boomed, his tone reproachful. He looked at the group with an eyebrow raised, waiting for an answer. The silence stretched as they looked at each other and murmured ininteligible things.
“I do” you shouted as you made your way towards the group on the windy snowy field.
There was an intake of breath, eyes darting to your approaching form. Murmurs spread like fire as you faced the small crowd. You didn’t care, you didn’t hear the nasty remarks and comments about what they wanted to do with you, what they would do to you, how they whistled, threw kisses and even touched their privates in a suggestive manner. You just zoned them out. All the attention was on the sword. The white wolf.
And the anger.
It made you do stupid, impulsive things, such as this.
“What are you doing (y/n), you know your father"s orders” Sam spoke up while Jon ordered the crowd to shut up, turning to them with his hands in fists. To your surprise they did, and his authority over them only made you even more pissed.
Who the hell did he think he was?
“He can go eat horseshit for all I care” you replied to Sam, without removing your eyes from Jon. You knew how childish you were, how stupid you were acting, but you were just so furious. Because behind all the anger, all the rage, was the profound, painful hurt. The realization that even if you tried your hardest, even if you gave your life away for it, you would never be enough in this world. And the bear was gone to prove that.
You were nothing for your family, and you would never be.
“Lady Mormont, you have direct orders from your Lord commander to not step out of your chambers during training hours, and never to interact with the new recruit. Could you explain to me exactly what you even think you are doing?” There was anger in Jon’s voice that you weren’t expecting. It didn’t matter though, cause you were far past the rational thinking.
“I clearly expressed how little I cared about your precious Lord commander"s orders, but if you want me to repeat it again, of course I’ll do it for you Snow.” You took a step closer to him, leaving just a foot of distance between the two. He held your gaze evenly, warningly. You send him a cold smile and continued. “ he can take his orders, and shove them up his-”
“(Y/n)” Jon raised his voice, interrupting you completely, making you smile wider. You were getting on his nerves. “Stop this behavior right now or I’ll-”
“You’ll what? You’ll fight me? Punish me?” you took the final steps till you were right in front of him, your chests almost touching, your eyes locked with his as hatred laced words left your mouth. “You sure love to act like my father Jon, so why don"t you try putting me in my place huh?" You bared his teeth at him "I’ll show you how to hold a sword, Bastard.”
His eyes turned stone cold as his face molded into a scold, jaw clenching so hard you could see his muscles moving.
“You can hold my sword milady” a man from the recruit group shouted while rubbing his clothed member and sticking his tongue out. The group cheered and laughed making Jon quickly turn away from you and face them in a swift motion. His shoulders were tense, his hands on tight fists.
“You were ordered to keep quiet” Jon stated while approaching the man who had spoken with fast, heavy steps. The man was smiling, still looking at you while licking his lips in a suggestive manner.
“C’mon bastard. Share your whore with us, our last pleasure before we take the black. I promise we won’t hurt her” his smile grew larger “ too much”
In what felt like a blink of an eye a fist was in his face, and he was on the floor. The men all took a collective breath and quickly shut up, moving away from the fallen man like scared rats. He was passed out, dark blood pooling from his nostrils, staining his dirty beard. Jon turned away from them impossibly calm, ordering Pimp and Sam to take the recruit back to the castle.
Silence was heavy as he quickly approached you next, his face so angry it made you take a step back. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you stared at the man coming towards you, a man who had knocked out someone with one punch, a man who looked at you with such intensity that it made you regret every choice you had made as primal fear froze you on the spot.
“Jon snow don’t you dare touch me or I’ll-” and you were off your feet and onto his back in just a swift motion once he got to you. You were so shocked you couldn’t even begin to comprehend what was happening, you just watched the world fly past as he walked with you on his shoulder to who knows where.
“You’ll what? Punish me?” He encountered, voice tight.
You gritted your teeth, finally snapping back to reality. You punched his back and kicked at his arms but he didn’t bulge.
“Put me down RIGHT NOW Snow I am serious!”
Silence.
You gritted your teeth and kicked him harder, earning a grunt from him. You continued to do it, noticing him struggling slightly holding your wiggling form and kicking legs. You were about to finally make a jump for it when you felt a hard slap on your ass.
You froze in pure shock. Anger and embarrassment following suit.
“You bastard! How dare you touch me!” You screamed “ I’m going to kill you Jon snow, put me down right this instant!” you continued to kick, now with even more passion and anger – until you felt another, slightly harder slap. Your jaw dropped, the unwelcome heat spreading through your face and down your body, your ass stinging with fresh pain.
“Jon Snow”
The name came out from your clenched teeth so viciously it made him sigh.
“What my lady?”
“Put me down. Now.”
He stopped, and you noticed that the floor had changed. You were now near the wing of the castle your chamber was located at, as far away from the men in black as your father could manage. The area was practically always deserted, except maybe for the guards your father sent to come check on you once in a while. You knew everything about this place, even the floor. Years of nothing to do, you figured.
He grabbed you and to your surprise, gently pulled you down till you were finally stable on your feet once again. You didn’t waste a second to send the hardest blow you could manage towards his face, but failed miserably as he easily caught your arm, using the impulse to pull you flush against his body. Now you were pressed together, your ragged breathing making your chest push against his. His eyes captured yours and suddenly you were out of words, your mind a scrubbed mess.
You were so close. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the movement of his chest as he breathed, his warm hand holding your arm. It was burning you, your whole body felt on fire, every surface so aware of every inch of the contact.
He silently held your gaze, a little crease on his brow, his jaw clenching slightly. You were trapped in them, those deep eyes framed by dark long lashes.
“(Y/n), what were you thinking? You know your father for the gods sake!” His breath was warm, and it fanned against your lips making your mind turn to mush “Now he’s not going to let you even out of your quarters. Now he’s going to have guards protecting you every moment of day and night. You won’t have a single minute to yourself” You dropped your eyes as his full lips caught your attention, quickly snapping them back up as you realized what you were doing “But you knew this already, but did it anyways.” He slightly shook you as he finished talking, the crease on his brow deepening. You just blankly stared, trying to mask the panic that was rising like wild fire in your veins making it hard for you to keep the air in and out of your lungs. The effect his touch had on you.
“You really don’t understand, do you?” Your voice was cold, sharp.
He gave you a questioning look signaling you to continue, but you only sighed, trying to push him away to create a little bit of distance between the two of you so you could at least try to think straight. He didn’t budge an inch, instead just got closer to your face grabbing you eyes once again, his stare intense.
“Those men, they are dangerous (y/n). They want, and will do if given the chance, unspeakable things to you. You put yourself in so much risk now, because they know you are here, the only woman in the whole castle black” His eyes scanned your face in a swift motion as the words left his lips “A young, beautiful and easy to take advantage of, woman.”
Your breath caught in your throat as heat spread through your cheeks.
Beautiful.
You wanted to slap yourself. It was just a word, it shouldn’t have this effect on you; you"ve been called that hundreds of times in your life… by you mother and maids. Never by a man. You shook the feeling away from your mind, focusing on those brown eyes that were glaring at you.
“You really underestimate me. I’m not easy to take advantage of” you quickly stuttered off, looking away from him trying to hide your face. You felt like a hot mess, and you were dying to get away from him as fast as you could.
“Oh really? I’m pretty sure I grabbed you and took you here without a struggle. Imagine what things I could easily do to you right now.”
He stopped speaking as soon as the thought left his mouth. Your heart leaped, heat spreading all around your body as soon as you registered his words. You didn’t know what to do, your mind was blank and his touch was burning you.
So you did the most logical thing.
You hooked your feet on the back of his leg and roughly pushed him using your shoulder before he could even process what was happening. To your delight, he stumbled back in shock as he tripped over your feet, falling onto his butt in a loud thud.
You let a victory scream out while jumping in contempt.
“What were you saying, Lord Snow? I’m all ears”
You felt the smile eat your face as he quickly rose to his feet, shaking the dirty snow off his pants while he sent you a murderous look. He tried to hide the annoyance on his face but failed miserably as the scowl settled on his features, making you all the more thrilled to have finally gotten under his skin.
“Okey my Lady, do as you wish” His voice was cold, gaze sharp as he held yours. You replied with a looped sided grin that made him slowly shake his head. “Don"t say I didn"t warn you”
And then he was gone without another word.
You stared at his fading form, at his confident walk - the walk of a Lord, of a commander. The thought left a bitter taste on your mouth.