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“No! Sans, don’t fall prey to her conniving influence!” Papyrus said as Sans prepared to trade his wheat card for one of Toriel’s brick cards.
“I’m just trying to build a road, bro.” Sans gestured to the edge of the Catan board, where his lonely blue settlement had nearly been cut off by Frisk’s orange ones. It didn’t help that Sans had built on a brick port, only for eights to never be rolled. He was gonna have to resort to loading the die at this rate.
“I have only as many points as you do, Papyrus,” Toriel said innocently. “If anyone is ‘conniving’ here, it is my child.”
Frisk grinned widely at that. Sans was pretty sure Toriel was letting Frisk win, but it was still sweet to see them having such a good time.
Even if he was going to come back and totally crush them.
“I still have a bad feeling about this,” Papyrus grumbled, peering suspiciously over the top of his cards.
“Welp, unless you’ve got a brick for me, I’ve gotta take her deal.”
“Fine, but I will be telling you I told you so!”
Sans shrugged and completed the trade, built his two roads, and passed the dice along to Toriel.
After rolling (a four) and collecting her resources (two ore), she began laying down combinations of cards in rapid succession.
“Woah.” Sans’s sockets widened. He needed to take Toriel to poker night—she’d had twice the amount of cards he’d thought she had. Having giant paws probably helped hide them, but he had no doubt it was intentional.
“Two cities,” she said with a hint of smugness. “You really should listen to your brother, Sans.”
“I told you so.” Papyrus sounded even more self-satisfied, despite the fact that she had completely surpassed his score with that move.
“Geez.” Sans shook his head while Toriel replaced two white settlements with cities. That would double the amount of ore she got every time a four was rolled.
Which was distinctly more often than it should be. Had someone else loaded the dice? If Toriel had gravity magic like him, he would’ve bet on it.
“I’ve got a long road ahead of me to catch up now,” he joked, though his eyelights searched for a weakness in her strategy. He sure wouldn’t be trading with her again anytime soon. Much as he adored her smug look, there was no room for sentimentality in Settlers of Catan.
“You wish you had a long road,” Frisk signed, then held up their Longest Road card, which they’d earned for connecting their settlements across the board.
“Hey, settle down. It’s road to rub it in.”
“Oh, stop complaining and grab your sheep!” Papyrus said. He’d already rolled a five, which did in fact earn Sans a sheep.
“Thanks for sheeping track for me.” Sans winked.
“Ugh!! Just for that, I’m using my knight on you!” Papyrus flipped over a hidden card that allowed him to block and steal one of Sans’s resources.
“You sure you don’t want to use it on Tori? She’s the one who’s kicking our pelvises.”
Papyrus squinted, his skull swiveling between Sans and Toriel. Toriel sat with her hands primly in her lap, her poker face revealing nothing.
Sans started to sweat. Would sibling rivalry win out over Papyrus’s own logic? It wouldn’t be the first time.
“Nyeh… fine! Miss Toriel, I must steal from you! It is nothing personal, just the most rational move for a master puzzler such as myself!”
“Of course.” Toriel smiled, then help up her empty hands. “However, I spent the last of my resources on my last turn. I am afraid I have nothing to give you.”
Papyrus’s jaw dropped. “How did I… well, I can still block your dastardly ore mine! So! It is still a victory for the Great Papyrus! Nyeh heh heh!!”
Sans hadn’t noticed that Toriel was out of cards, either. He watched her closely from then on, making sure she wasn’t hiding any inside the thick sleeves of her sweater.
“See something you like?” Toriel’s voice was innocent, though her quick wink was anything but. Heat broke out across his face.
“Your wheat,” he said, flipping over a hidden monopoly card, which allowed him to take all of one type of resource. “Hand it over, swheaty.”
With a bark of laughter, she slid him two wheat cards. Papyrus grumbled and forked over his three wheat, and Frisk tossed a couple as well.
There was only one problem. Distracted by Toriel’s wink, Sans hadn’t examined his own cards closely enough. He couldn’t do anything with seven wheat. He’d meant to ask for brick.
(He blamed the fact that the wheat pun had been too good to pass up.)
Frisk’s presence stopped him from cursing under his breath, but he still glared a hole in his cards. If he traded in enough wheat…
He made a few inefficient exchanges of resources. By the end of it, he could at least build one settlement. It wasn’t much compared to Toriel’s empire or even Frisk’s transcontinental road, but it was something.
“That was rather anticlimactic,” Papyrus noted.
“The workings of my mind are unknowable,” Sans bluffed with a straight face. Then he passed Toriel the dice. “Just roll with it.”
Papyrus had been the one to organize the “Family Game Night,” but regret was etched into his expression.
“Next Family Game Night will be at the bowling alley,” he told Sans. “That way, I can roll you!”
Sans grinned. “Cool. I’m sure we’ll have a bowling ball.”
“UGH!!”
A few more anticlimactic turns passed before the dice returned to Sans. He rolled a seven, forcing him to move the blocking token off of Toriel’s ore factory.
That was fine. What were the odds that another four would—
Okay. Sans should definitely leave the betting to someone else for a while. Preferably Toriel, with the way her luck was running tonight.
Between her cities and ports, she was able to trade in enough ore to build several roads, taking the Longest Road away from Frisk.
“Betrayed by a mother! How cruel!” Papyrus gasped as Frisk glared at their mom.
“All is fair in love and Catan, is it not?” She smiled at them. “That is my tenth point. It has been a pleasure ‘owning’ you all.”
Frisk stuck out their tongue, and Papyrus groaned—though that was probably at her joke more than at the fact that he lost. Sans couldn’t bring himself to be mad, though. That look on Toriel’s face as all her cards fell into place…
Yeah, Sans was ‘owned,’ alright.