Chapter Text
For the remainder of Chifuyu’s hospital visit, the Toman members had taken turns visiting to not overwhelm him and to help take his mind off things. Takemichi brought him snacks and talked about lighthearted subject matter like how Akkun thought the Toman could all use new hair styles. Mitsuya brought Chifuyu a fresh change of clothes a few days before he was scheduled to get out, just so he wouldn’t have to leave in a hospital gown or in his bloodied uniform (which the designer took it upon himself to take home and clean for Chifuyu). Mikey and Draken had decided to go visit him together, but the two ended up arguing about something that made both of them storm off before they had the chance to ask him how he was doing. Smiley and Angry even stopped by, bringing him the latest volume of the manga they knew he was reading. While it was nice to see all of his friends care, and while some of the antics and thoughtfulness did fetch a smile or two from him, Chifuyu’s mind was stuck on one very absent member. He hardly talked to any of the others, and much to their dismay he wouldn’t open up at all. He didn’t like how they all looked at him as if he were about to break or how they tiptoed around mentioning Baji. Sure, he was thankful that they had finally stopped asking him questions that he couldn’t answer, but he knew most of the idle conversations that they tried to hold with him while visiting were more out of courtesy than an actual want to be there with their beat up and sulking friend. All Chifuyu really wanted right now was to be left alone to lick the wounds of what was left of his damaged pride.
It was storming the evening before he was discharged from the hospital. He stared out the window, something he found himself doing more and more often the longer he stayed there. He didn’t really want to feel anything. Didn’t want to think. Every time Chifuyu would have a wandering thought, it would somehow relate back to Baji, and the night he was betrayed by his best friend would replay in his memory. “ I wonder how Peke J is doing right now. I should go pick up some cat food for him once I get out of here. Maybe at the new convenience store that just opened up right by Baji’s-... damn it.” Frowning, he sank into his bed, deciding to turn up the volume on the nearby TV to drown out his thoughts and get some rest. “Get out of my fucking head, Baji.” He mumbled into his pillow, drifting off to sleep.
He didn’t hear the door open, or see the bouquet of flowers (presumably bought from the hospital gift shop, as they were slightly wilted and “Get Well Soon” themed like the now deflated balloon at the foot of his bed) that the guest had set on a nearby counter. He was unaware of the raven haired teen who had sat down on a chair next to him, sighing heavily after seeing firsthand what he had done to his friend. Chifuyu didn’t see Baji bite his lip, or see the shame that washed over his features as he sunk forward and leaned his head on the hospital bed, fists curled up at his side. Well, that was until he heard a deep “What have I done?” a little too close to his ear for comfort, drifting in above the obnoxious, commercial theme song of a local yakisoba shop, pulling him instantly out of his sleep.
Chifuyu jumped, practically throwing the blanket that covered him off the bed as he stood up, panicked. “W-What the hell are you doing here?!” His eyes were blown out in fear, flashes of Baji beating him ruthlessly flooded his mind. He pointed a shaky finger at the door, “Get out.”
“Chifuyu, I-” Baji started, looking at the blond with a pleading look, but Chifuyu wasn’t having it.
“No. I don’t want to hear it. You- You don’t get to do this.” he said through gritted teeth, trying his hardest to calm his breathing to no avail. “100 stitches, traumatic brain injury, three missing teeth, and two weeks in the hospital. You don’t get to just waltz in here and say ‘oh, I’m so sorry’ like you lost something of mine, asshole, you nearly killed me!” The blond’s head was spinning again, anger and hurt contorting his face into expressions Baji had never seen from him.
Baji, at times, would get under Chifuyu’s skin for sure, and Chifuyu under his. That was just the dynamic of their friendship. They had their fights, much like how Mikey and Draken would have theirs, but they were never serious. It was always over trivial matters, like the time Baji said Chifuyu’s hair looked stupid styled up into a pompadour. Chifuyu (though he refuses to admit it, even to this day) ended up not speaking to the older teen for a week, and conveniently, changed up the style to his current undercut and shag within that time frame. Baji, of course, found this hilarious, but still apologized after, offering to split some Peyoung yakisoba with him like they always did. It killed Baji to think that this time, this utter fuck up of his, wouldn’t be so easily forgiven. No amount of yakisoba could fix this mess.
“ ‘Fuyu… calm down, please. ” Baji glanced out into the hallway to some concerned nurses asking if everything was alright. He gave them a polite nod and apologized quickly for the ruckus. Shutting the door, he turned back to the seething blond who, at this point, looked like he was about to topple over and earn himself another night’s stay at the hospital.
“Please, just lay back down before you pass out, dumbass.” Baji motioned to the bed before going back over to where he was previously sitting, sighing as he slumped onto the uncomfortable chair. He studied his friend’s wounds carefully. Bandages covered most of Chifuyu’s head, greasy blond hair peeked out of where they would overlap, and bruises littered whatever other skin was exposed. His eyes were uncovered but still swollen and bloodshot, tinged with dark purple and yellow hues. His lip was busted, and a small stitch that had been placed to stop the tearing had been ripped open and resewn a few times it seemed, as a little bit of irritation could be seen around the site. “God, you look like shit.” He grumbled softly, his brows furrowing in frustration with himself. If Chifuyu looked this bad two weeks after the incident, then the direct aftermath must have been terrible. In fact, it was. He was in way worse condition than any of them had originally thought. After being so graciously relieved of his investigative visitors by one of the nurses, Chifuyu had nearly passed out in front of her. He was rushed to do a CT scan, and it was found that he’d suffered a severe amount of head trauma, resulting in some brain swelling. His three night hospital stay had just extended itself to two weeks, and only two days ago was he cleared for discharge and was able to finally get some sleep since they had also removed the IVs he was connected to. Of course, Baji didn’t know any of this, but he could see that his recovery had been challenging just by looking at him.
Chifuyu watched him cautiously as he got back into bed, pulling the blanket over his shoulders, his eyes scanning Baji’s face for any hint of malice. He didn’t find any, however, and instead he saw a scared kid with remorse brimming in his friend’s eyes in the form of tears. He watched as Baji checked over his injuries, almost as if he were committing the image of his best friend he’d beaten up to memory, as a way to make sure to never let it happen again. For a few moments, the only sounds filling the room were of the television, the rain that was hitting the window beside them, and the two of them breathing. A labored, almost scared breath here, and a deep, sorrowful sigh in response. Chifuyu felt vulnerable, more so than he ever had with Baji. He turned his head away from the other, glaring at nothing in particular. After a few more moments of decidedly uncomfortable silence, Chifuyu quietly asked, “Why?”
There was no good answer to his question, Baji knew that. Of course his true intentions weren’t to hurt his vice captain per se, but rather to make it convincing enough to Hanma, Kazutora, and the rest of Valhalla that he had no more loyalty to Toman. Baji needed them to believe him so he could act as a spy without involving the others. There was less risk of failure that way and then only he would have that cross to bear, he thought. He could live with his friends hating him if he thought it’d save them and their original vision for Toman from being corrupted. He cherished all of them, even the new guy, Takemitchy, whom he’d only exchanged a few words and a punch with. Kazutora was the biggest wrench in Baji’s plan. Sure he knew that Kazutora was in Valhalla; that was one of the biggest factors as to why he did all of this. He never understood how he’d gone from the accident with Shinichiro to subsequently wanting to kill Mikey and leaving Toman because of it, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try to get his friend back. The problem was Kazutora knew Baji better than anyone else, perhaps even better than Chifuyu. He was familiar with Baji’s fighting style, so he’d be able to tell if he was going easy on his vice captain. He also knew when Baji was lying, and Chifuyu was never really great at acting, so letting Chifuyu in on the plan also spelled disaster. So, the only thing he could do was make it look like a true betrayal, and in a sense it was. Chifuyu, albeit unknowingly, put his trust and life in Baji’s hands when he’d asked him to tag along with him to some abandoned arcade, only to have Baji nearly kill him in order to prove some false loyalty to a guy who couldn’t care less about what happens to him or Toman. He betrayed his best friend’s trust, and that was what hurt the deepest.
He drummed his fingers on his lap before opening his mouth to answer him, finally looking up, his voice sounding uncharacteristically small, “I… had to do everything I could to get into Valhalla.” He started, slowly, getting up to kneel next to Chifuyu, chest tightening. He still couldn’t tell Chifuyu everything, as much as he wanted to. He still needed the others to believe he’d left Toman officially, “But, I never wanted to hurt you… not like this, ‘Fuyu… I just got carried away, went too far and-” Baji choked on his words, biting his lip, meeting the blond’s eyes with his own, “-and I’m so, so sorry. You didn’t deserve this.”
He reached up, aiming to place his hand gently on Chifuyu’s cheek, however as he did so, a loud crack of thunder resounded through the hospital. Chifuyu gasped, flinching and throwing his arms up in self defence, pushing Baji away, as his mind raced back to the crack he had heard as Baji’s fist hit his skull two weeks before. The blond was shaking, curling up into a ball on his bed, losing all grasp of reality. Suddenly, he was back in the Valhalla hideout, being pinned down by Baji, getting beaten black and blue in front of the wild crowd, only this time with a clear and focused image of who was assaulting him. “S-Stop…!” He cried out, tears running down his face.
Baji was stunned. He’d never seen Chifuyu act like this before. He watched helplessly as his friend curled tighter and tighter into a ball, struggling to catch his breath as he swatted aimlessly in the air, protecting himself from invisible punches that only he could see flying towards his face. Racked with guilt, Baji gently called out to his friend, receiving no response other than a choked sob. He pulled his seat up, leaning forward, his hand awkwardly hovering above Chifuyu’s body before ultimately being placed back down on the bed beside him. He didn’t want the nurses to come in, considering he really had no right being there, and the last thing he needed was Mikey or Draken being called. “ ‘Fuyu, look at me. Hey, look at me…” He said softly, and Chifuyu’s eyes slowly tore themselves open, looking up at Baji, terrified. Another pang of guilt shook Baji to his core, “Shh, h-hey it’s okay. Look! You’re safe, you’re safe. We’re at the hospital, remember? ” Baji reached out slowly for Chifuyu’s hand, “May I?”
Chifuyu’s breathing was unsteady, and his vision was blurred from the tears irritating the cuts surrounding his eyes. He glanced around, trying to focus on something once again, feeling a bit of deja vu, when he heard the soft pitter patter of the rain on the window. He then noticed the soft humming of the television and the sounds of nurses scurrying around just outside the door as they tended to other patients. The world around him slowly morphed back into the hospital room he’d grown accustomed to, and eventually as he started to calm down a bit, he looked at Baji’s outstretched hand. His mind screamed at him to push his hand away, to get as far away from Baji as humanly possible, but he also reasoned with himself that if Baji had come here to hurt him again, he would have done so by now. He nodded slowly, maintaining eye contact with Baji as he placed his hand in the other's, once again feeling more vulnerable than he ever had with the older teen.
Baji’s hand closed gently around Chifuyu’s trembling one, his thumb rubbing soft, soothing circles onto his palm. He stayed like that for a moment before resting his head on the side of the hospital bed, careful not to hit any of the buttons and breaking eye contact, his body shaking with silent sobs. “Th-This is all my fault… god, I’m such a fucking idiot…”
Chifuyu let out a breath. Now it was his turn to see his long time friend in a state he’d never experienced. Baji held a lot of pride and wasn’t one to really express as much concern and emotion as he was now. He had a habit of bottling it all in, not wanting to upset or bother those around him with how he was feeling. Chifuyu knew he felt selfish in doing so, recalling the time he’d spoken about Kazutora, and how everyone seemed to shun him after everything that happened, but yet held Baji barely accountable for anything. He didn’t find it right for his friends to do that, and made a promise with himself that whatever he was going through emotionally, he’d get through it alone. That way, he didn’t have to see his friends choose a side. To see Baji completely break down like this was rare, and Chifuyu found it to be oddly comforting. Not that he found any joy in it, in fact he hated seeing Baji cry. It wasn’t like him in the slightest. However, it let Chifuyu know that, at least deep down, Baji still cared. He might not know what was going through his head, or what his plans were, but he clearly cared enough to acknowledge that he screwed up.
“Yeah… you are a fucking idiot.” Chifuyu chuckled softly, reaching up with his free hand to tenderly loosen some of the knots that were in his captain’s hair. He could see that it hadn’t been brushed in a few days, and as a whole, Baji looked like he’d been through hell and back himself, “An idiot who hasn’t been taking care of himself. I look like shit? Have you looked in a mirror?”
“Yeah well, you should have seen the other guy.”
Another silent moment passed between the two before they both broke out into a fit of welcomed laughter. Baji could sense there was still quite a bit of tension from the blond, but they were both trying. Trying to piece together the broken trust between them, one small step at a time. For now, this was enough.
“I’m sorry, again, ‘Fuyu. I really am.”
“I know. I… don’t forgive you, but I’m not angry with you.” Chifuyu pulled his hand away, pulling his knees up to his chest, a nervous habit of his, and Baji recognized he overstayed his welcome, even if it was just by a marginal amount. He got up from his seat, stretching slightly before nodding to the smaller boy, “Well, I should get going before someone sees me…” He shuddered lightly at the thought of bumping into Mikey or Draken now, especially since they haven’t spoken since the last Toman gathering which was well over a month ago at this point. He frowned slightly, wanting to stay with Chifuyu for a bit longer.
“...Mhm, oh, hey Baji? Do you think... “ Chifuyu chewed on his cheek, hesitating for a moment as Baji swung the door open to leave. He wrinkled his nose, feeling like a child, and looked back out the window. The setting sun was starting to peek through the clouds and the rain was letting up lightly. It looked like the storm was just finally about to blow over, “...Do you think maybe we could split some yakisoba once I get out of here?”
Baji grinned, having to hold back the relief he felt from hearing that. He nodded, “Yeah… I’d like that.”
Yeah, for now, this was enough.