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All I Wanted

Summary:

The Paramore song got me in my feels, enjoy some angst involving that and my first favorite Archangel ❤️

Notes:

  • For .

Dedicated to Sam who hears my bullshit everyday. I am truly powerful because I wrote this finally and kinda stole your story format because of Red Wings. I hope you enjoy it :)

Work Text:

All I Wanted

 

“You want some candy?” The four of them all stood in the late Professor’s office, Dean stuffing his face with whatever goodies he could find while Sam gently interrogated the cute janitor in coveralls. Politely declining but keeping a sweet smile, she shook her head no as they walked around to uh, ’check for wiring’. She found that no matter where she looked or what area of the room she was in, the Janitor’s eyes were always on her. 

 

As the week went on, and the death’s became more and more unusual, and Sam and Dean were at each other’s throats, she couldn’t help but actually enjoy the Janitor’s company as he tried to help out as a witness whenever something weird happened at the school. He seemed nice enough. He was always around to give her access to any rooms that normally, they’d never have access to. Even as electricians. One could say they developed a small friendship.

 

“Well, if you’re watching this, I’m dead.” Gabriel’s face stared back at the trio hovered over Sam’s laptop on the side of the highway. Elysian Falls Motel had been destroyed, along with a handful of Pagan Gods thanks to Lucifer. The Archangel on the computer screen had decided to attempt to reason with the Devil, and in the end it cost him his life. The only girl out of three stood in the middle, watching as the imaginary woman on the screen caressed her favorite Archangel.

 

Eventually, the truth always comes out. In this case, it was the fucking janitor behind this. Seriously? Walking through the auditorium doors with Sam, she held onto her stake, making sure to stay close enough so that there were no issues. Well, that is until the Mr. Trickster decided he was going to give them bears with chainsaws and lingerie models with super strength. I guess it could be worse, though.

 

“Oh, please! Stop sobbing! It’s embarrassing for all of us.” Gabriel’s voice could be heard as Sam and Dean stood almost in disgust at the faux porno, while she attempted to laugh it off and fight back the tears. As Gabriel explained his way through the video, with it eventually ending with an uncomfortable (for those watching) makeout session, the boys closed the laptop before eventually the trio split into their respective cars: Dean and Sam in the Impala, her in her own. 

 

Watching a close friend die a thousand times over was never fun, especially when you couldn’t stop it. Originally, Sam had thought it was just him, but as the gentleman across the way suddenly decided he wanted strawberry syrup instead of Maple… she chased after the younger Winchester, keeping close to make sure he wasn’t actually going to hurt a civilian. Maybe it was just a glitch? It couldn’t be that big of a deal- 

 

She said nothing as the Trickster’s face finally morphed into the one she’d known before. Sam wasn’t so gentle with his interrogation this time, pressing the stake into his neck enough to warn before she could do anything to stop him. Except once again, his eyes were always on her before the day started all over again.

 

As she closed the door and turned on the engine, she watched Sam and Dean drive off before letting out a primal scream. It was one of those throaty screams, the ones that hurt after too long and you’re gasping for air. Putting the car in drive she followed the guys out, slamming on her steering wheel as music blared loudly and the tears began to fall. 

Fuck! ” Was all she could say, speeding to catch up with the guys as the memories flooded back. 

 

As Sam and Dean were stuck in TV Land, she found herself on the receiving end of stolen kisses and slow dances. 

“Is this some part you want me to play?” She asked as he softly dipped her while music quietly played in the background. 

“For now, your role is much more important than you think.” He smiled down at her.

“And what would that be?”

“You’ll see. I don’t want to give too much away before those two numb nuts come to save the day.” The Trickster stole another kiss and this time, she accepted it without question.

 

Furiously pushing at the radio, she finally found something that truly captured everything she was feeling at this moment. 

‘Think of me while you’re out, while you’re out there…’ Hayley Williams softly sang. ‘I’ll beg you nice from my knees…’ She didn’t even know if this was another trick. She could hope, she could pray. Was she really never going to see him again?

 

Somewhere between learning her harm(ful) crush was an Archangel, and his death at Elysian Fields… Gabriel and her found themselves together a lot more than they originally were. He’d visit her when the boys were out, bringing her gourmet breakfasts in bed and taking her on dates the nights the boys would go out to bars and not come home until the early hours of dawn. She’d hold onto him as he’d quickly fly them to wherever she’d possibly want to go. His arm would wrap itself around her waist and they’d be physically closer than they ever were. Sometimes, they even shared a bed.

 

But don’t tell the Winchesters that.

 

Back in yet another hotel, with another shitty bed and bad TV, she paced endlessly. The song in the car was still playing on her mind as she resisted every urge to break something. ‘I think I’ll pace my apartment a few times, and fall asleep on the couch.’ She found herself slowly waking around 3 am, the TV still on as she must’ve fallen asleep from crying too hard. 

‘Wake up early to black and white reruns? That escaped from my mouth.’

 

Why did everything have to end this way? Why couldn’t she get just a little bit longer with him? Of course she blamed herself. The second Lucifer arrived in the meeting room and Gabriel decided to play the hero, she should’ve stepped in. She should’ve shielded him , if it meant making sure he’d always be safe and sound. But— she’d stop to think. They weren’t together , it’s not like they- it’s not like they were in love or anything like that!

 

They’d just have fun! Go out on dates, steal a few kisses, make love a few couples times a day , but they were never a couple . Not really. At least, they both always said no if anyone asked. Even when he popped in unexpectedly, taking away their voices, she felt this swelling in her heart at just being able to see him; and that was more than enough.

 

More than him attempting to seduce Kali, despite the idea hurt her heart more than anything. Or watching him try to sacrifice himself to his older brother. Or even knowing he was dead, because she would always have hope whether he was truly dead or not, that he’d come back to her. She’d make sure to try and pray every day, hoping he’d hear her. 

 

“Do you ever want something you can’t have?” Gabriel asked against her shoulder, his arms wrapped around her middle as she got comfy underneath the thing blankets. Their bodies were flushed from their strenuous activities and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk to the shower.

“Always.” She answered, moving the hair from his face. “What about you?”

“Same.”

“What do you wish for?”

He just gave her that Cheshire Cat grin, “It’s a secret.”

“Oh!” She laughed, gently slapping his arm. “Then I won’t tell you mine.”

 

But they both knew. It just wasn’t the time or the place, and it never would be.