Chapter Text
The song that inspired the entire base idea that Ghost can play guitar and that Strelok gifted it to him:
Gb Eating Gb Whilst Listening to Gb - Crywank
The air stood still, as he was scared to breathe. The awful stank of rotten bodies still lingering in his nostrils, wanting him to drop to the floor and gag. Maybe it would help, the anxiety under his skin leaving with it. But it felt like everything was frozen, the cold chill so strong in the empty Hideout.
Strelok still blinked bewildered in the Hideout, not sure if he should call out again or not. He couldn't shake the abnormal feeling that everything looked so disorganized. Why were Fang's tools gone? It wasn't easy to push those boxes of so much equipment around. And even if their safe place would get found, it was never talked about moving those things towards a different location. What if someone had found their hiding place? Maybe someone had got hold of their plan and wanted to stop them now... Strelok had already feared it, either Fang or Ghost had talked too much with other Stalkers, without thinking informing, or starting rumors that they desired to advance to the center of the Zone. No one would ever attempt such a mission, it was suicide and everyone comprehended that, remaining away from the Brain Scorcher as far as they could. It was a one-way ticket, either finish it and die with the triumph or try dying. Digging a hole for their bodies that would never be found behind the Barrier and in the Dead City... Was that really something he wanted? It wounded Strelok, understanding that both Ghost and Fang agreed to this journey, but even if they never spoke about what they would do if they indeed discovered the Wishgranter? It was obvious, decide on the spot, or end up not recognizing themselves any longer trying to get their own individual pursuits awarded... Strelok knew that Doctor would assist them with every measure they took. Even if his sad eyes say it all he doesn't want them to even try to reach the unimaginable and unexplored parts of the Zone. Faintly that didn't matter and waiting for the worst, their plan might be shattered now. Strelok took another step forward, his thoughts dissolving as he stared at the metal door in front of him.
Where were Fang and Ghost? What had happened? Some part of the Shooter wanted to instantly sprint forward but the fear of what he might find if he kept looking for clues was too deep and unsettling. Slowly he glanced back to the floor, staring at the gun that lay on the floor. The blood looked still fresh, the red on the concrete glistering in the low orange light. Some part of him started constructing visuals of what had might occurred and he felt his chest shaking. Strelok took an intense gasp, squinting his eyes. With a shake of his head, he tried to get the visual of Ghost shooting Fang out of his mind. His thin fingers, without blinking, pulling on the trigger, perfectly aimed at such a short distance. The wet splash of flesh tearing and the crack of bones, staining everything with such a gooey mess, felt overwhelming.
The Phantom wouldn't do such a thing, or would he? Such a strong feeling of hopelessness settled inside of Strelok's body, it made his finger twitch. The Stalker could be cruel, sometimes lacking so strong empathy as if he had no soul, to begin with, a perfect play of his charming and friendliness to hide it. No... What was Strelok even thinking? Ghost would never hurt any of them, he was the one who got them all together in the first place.
He wasn't sure what he desired, a part of him had already readied for something like this, but he wanted none of it confirmed. The entire time, since he had gone from here, Strelok felt guilty for leaving. Being honest with himself did not help the situation and the unsureness of how to even comfort someone in such a situation... He only found out what the problem was because he had broken Ghost's trust. So much revealed that he might have never shared on his own. Speaking of cold wind and time, the sad feeling that he had nothing like it was even crushing. Falling out of time, with no photographs of gluing time into a frame, memories of people he loved... a splinter in Strelok's mind had called it dark, wanting it all to fall apart.
So it was both jealousy and reassurance that such strong emotions tied to his past would never bubble up to the surface. He was no one and no one knew him... Alone, as he always wanted it to be.
With another gaze through the Hideout, he finally shelved the rifles from his shoulders, dropping them to the floor. The metallic sound as it hit the concrete echoed around and like hidden shadows, they responded to the vibrating sensation. In the dark, he had to squint his eyes to notice anything.
"Hello?" Strelok gasped out, his entire body fidgetting as he noticed how the cool steel door of the storage room moved. A shadow moved, and without thinking he stepped forward, his fingers shaking so badly as he wanted to push it to the side, trying to reveal what happened.
Right as his hurting fingertips brushed the cold door, it moved on its own, the low light flowing inside. Fang stood right there, his face frozen with something so unspokenly. Strelok made a step back with fear, his boot hitting the wooden plank on the floor, stumbling over it. He couldn't keep his eyes off the technician in front of him, who stood there not blinking. Fang's his green-brown eyes staring wide-eyed at him, something like a sob leaving his throat.
"Fang... what happened..." Strelok troubled out, staring at Fang's dilated pupils.
"I...I I- t-t-thought y- you were Doctor-r" Fang Testified, with a quick motion his arms wrapped around himself, as if he was trying to soothe his mind. It was weird to see, and if something was frightening the usual loud and bold taller man, it had to be severe. It wasn't the first time Strelok saw Fang upset or distressed, but it was already a good sign that he was throwing things around, screaming and cursing at everything that moved too close to him... Or repeatedly punching himself, swaying back and forth on the ball of his feet like a little child. The technician's condescending behavior with a sense of nagging and perpetual irritation seemed to be the only consistent expressions of him. Either not showing any of them, or pride in his personality and unwillingness to change, viewing any change as a threat. But Strelok couldn't accuse Fang for any of it, how many times did he end up with a serious block when it comes to expressing feelings and emotions?
"Where is Ghost?!" Strelok demanded more sternly, trying to get through the husky shell of the Stalker in front of him. Just now he noticed that he wasn't in his ExoSkeleton, no humming sounds of the electronics rushing through the dark cables. The steady sound that had filled the room was like a whisper, pleading in darkness. And without a word he pressed past Fang, every cell in his body tingling with fear of what he might see.
Strelok could sense the fear enclosing, as he pushed the door further away, stepping inside of the storage space.
Like an invasion, the murky smell of the room robbed Strelok of his breath, just like the sight he had to witness. The first thing he saw did not add to the scene before, countless boxes with tools were standing in the corner of the dark room. Like shadows, they did not move, but the metal shone in the low light from the countless screwdrivers on the floor. Strelok's eyes wandered, freezing as he saw the problem.
Merciless, as if someone had dumped the body there. Ghost cowered in the shower, his entire frame so small he was almost unnoticeable. As if death-defying, his blue eyes were frozen in position.
It was bloodcurdling witnessing him like this. The dark-haired Stalker just crouched there, not blinking when he already should have. His eyes were so bloodshot, the contrast it created with the insane coloring of his eyes, it felt like he should have already stopped breathing by now.
The constant shiver that ran over his frame caused the man to blink, but it was as programmed, a bodily response to sustain its form. Spit was leaking from his blue-tinted lips.
"Ghost..." Strelok asked, his voice cracking afraid to speak. This was not the first time he had seen people like this, once witnessed a group of Rookies being affected by a controller, half of them killing themselves or each other. Afterward nonresponsive to their surroundings as if marked by poisonous substances like addicts reaming in their pullout. Strelok knelt down next to the Phantom, not sure what to even do with him. He reached out, and as if he was touching faith, his fingers shook. He carefully wrapped his fingers around Ghost's cheek, cupping his face, trying to get him to wake up from the shock he was in. Strelok felt all alone, just like flesh and bone exposed to whatever cruel blasphemous nightmare this was. The skin of the Stalker was so cold, as no one was there.
"Fang... What happened?!" Strelok impetuously grunted out, turning to the technician who was still standing at the door, tears in his eyes as if he was attempting to maintain his irritation.
"H- He... Gh- Ghos- Ghost- H" Fang struggled out, his stuttering more affecting his speech, the unusual quiet voice drenched by the boots as he strode closer.
This all felt like misfortune, first the awful trip he had from the start and then back... just to come back to this.
"Fang... it's okay, we gonna... we gonna be okay... just inform me what happened, so we can assist Ghost, and make sure he will be alright" Strelok tried again, not wanting to push his other friend to also freak out.
"T-T-The c- controller..." Fang spat out despicable, his bleeding fist grasping the old sweater he was wearing, his knuckles white.
"Okey... how long was that ago?" Strelok questioned, his gaze still fixated at Ghost who stared right through him, resembling more a braindead man than the usual happy and contentment Phantom. Fang just took a loud gulp, trying to raise his voice but it was unmistakable, that he was not alright with finding Ghost like this, who could be? Seeing one of your friends in such a deadly state felt like someone was ripping every string of your heart out.
"Is Doctor on his way?" Strelok with a soothing tone of his voice tried to understand. It was already a good sign that Fang wasn't furious shouting, mocking him or Ghost, and using sarcasm or even intense blaming statements onto the given situation. Fang simply nodded, with his trembling and blood-soaked hand pointing at the rusty showerhead above Ghost.
"Co- Col- Sh- co " Fang tried to justify and Strelok nodded, with a reassuring smile, trying to signal the older one it was not heavy if he couldn't articulate through this. It was already enough what he indicated, cold water to try to awake the Phantom of the serious and dreadful lifeless state he was in. The Stalker's hoodie was darkened by the water, shaking just like Strelok had found him in the shower before his journey.
Fang was towering over both of them, his body tall and broad like a mountain compared to the cowered position they were in. Without a warning the technician pushed further, picking up the unresponsive Stalker. Strelok felt like a ping in his heart with guilt, he couldn't really help Ghost, even if it meant leaving him somewhere, he could never pick him off the ground as if he was weightless like Fang just did. Ghost's arms hung down without resistance, his entire body so frail, the same glassy eyes staring into nothing.
"Ghost..." whispered Fang, even in a gentle manner running his hands over his wet dark hair as he placed him on top of the mattress, toppling a blanket over him. The ghost seemed to be sensitive to light or noise, shutting his eyes close from the light change in the room, and Strelok quickly draped a sweater of his over the emergency light to dim it.
The Phantom did not stir, and Fang set down next to him, his hands constantly traveling over his body as if he was trying to get the man back to their reality. Like a sleepwalking husk, Ghost blinked a few times, his fingers continuously shifting and jerking as if he was trying to break out from the Psi attack. It felt fearful, knowing the motion he was doing, his index finger still trying to pull on the trigger. But since his brain was too slow with the reflexes and responses, Ghost didn't seem to notice.
"He is drenched, we should change his clothes" Strelok whispered, starting to pull the damp cloth off the Stalker's slender body. The zip of the sweater was way too loud for the quiet atmosphere, like their hearts ripping apart.
Fang was nodding his head absently, taking a new shirt and sweater from the pile of clothes on the mattress. His hands were carefully drying the Stalker's body, checking and re-checking for any wounds on his revealed skin. There were some burns on his arm, but otherwise, no new cuts were decorating his already scarred skin. Strelok had seen Ghost shirtless countless times but he had never been that close to him, it would make him fidget with anxiety, a weird knot in his stomach taking his breath away. Ghost's frame was flexible, muscles well defined, and his skin sweated. It felt too personal to do this but letting the man freeze was also not something that Strelok wanted to do. Fang stood there, pacing up and down nervously, with a worrying glimpsing at them.
"Ghost... H- He tried to... He- gun " Fang stuttered out, and Strelok wanted so badly to turn around to the older man, but he was busy drying Ghost's sweated body clean. From the smell and miscolored and grim that went off his body, it was clear he had thrown up at some point.
"It's okay, you can tell me later" Strelok tried to comfort Fang, but it was not working, his own voice so shaky as if he might break out in tears right there. Even when Fang had been caught and injured by the Chimera he didn't feel as helpless as now, then Ghost had been there, with such a calm attitude making quick progress in trying to find aid. Strelok adverted his gaze as his eyes glimpsed the tattoos littering Ghost's body. The ink looked faded and blueish, fitting the color of his unhealthy-looking lips. It felt forbidden to read over the words that degraded the man's body, the narrative of them unidentified. So many times he wanted to ask about them, especially the ones on Ghost's knuckles, always perfectly hidden under his gloves, just showing them to people he trusted, which did not add to the story he had explained how he had gotten them... But that did not matter now, maybe one-day Strelok would be courageous enough to question the meanings.
Strelok flinched as wordlessly a new shirt and hoodie were thrown right into his view, Fang standing so close. The pants of the technician were awkwardly rubbing against his suit. He truly wanted not to care, just letting faith decide if Ghost would make it or not, but he couldn't. Not after everything he had pulled through to make some attempt to make him happier...
"Thanks" Strelok grunted out, starting to dress the unconscious man in front of him, but more and more Ghost seemed to respond to his surroundings, still trying to reach out. Like a defenseless soul, torn out of its mortal body, he wouldn't acquire control to get his brain to react to his nerves. Ghost blinked as Strelok shoved the shirt over him, fixing the wet dark hair behind his ear. It felt so loving, the Phantom as if he was used to that gesture attempting to respond, just a tangle of phrases leaving his lips that made no sense, all slurred, a small curl of his lips making it visible that he indeed was aware of some of his surroundings. The mattress shook as Fang sat down next to Ghost, with care, wrapping his arms around him. Precise and affectionately the technician seated Ghost on his lap, holding him like a child. It felt calming, the most alarming was dealt with, or the most that they could do right currently...
Precisely as he wanted to seize a deep breath and relax the tension in his body, he felt the nervous energy around them. Like an overwhelming power crushing him to the floor, Strelok sat there unsure of what to do. Everything in his body ached, the aftermath of the Blowout, the weight he had to carry...
Something wet hit his shaking hand that he had set into his lap, his fingers trying to ground himself as he kept tearing them into the nylon strap of the gun holster. Fang was staring at him, and it did not support him at all.
"Why... why?" Fang asked quietly, even as if he was hypnotized or stuck in the motion, running his hand over Ghost's hair.
"Why are you crying?!" Fang bolted out, his voice extremely loud, making it seem as if the entire Hideout was shaking.
"I'm sorry... I just... I come back, and then this... What happened? Fang, you said everything was okay! You said Ghost was fine... He..." Strelok struggled out, not wanting to overshare his own worry about the Phantom. He quickly wiped his tears away with the miscolored sleeve of his suit. Everything felt so helpless as if they had no control over their surroundings, just the Zone's will.
"I'm not a damn b- ba- babysitter!" Fang grunted out, blinked at him offended and Strelok let out a troubled huff. Sure, he was right about that, but... the feeling did not leave him, imagining what would have happened if he didn't leave... or if Fang hadn't left Ghost by himself.
"I'm sorry... No, you are right, but... just tell me what happened?" Strelok requested. Some part of him did not want to know the details, the fact that Fang's free hand was still bleeding, the gun on the floor, Ghost's state as if he had no single personality remaining... this was more than bad, it felt like his worst nightmare had come true, just when he wanted to help. Strelok just wanted to get up and get a water bottle, offering it either to Ghost or Fang, a simple gesture to show that he cared.
"N-" Fang tried to explain but he stopped talking, with alarm starring at the wall to their left. Strelok waited, but the sensation as if someone near did not leave him, turning his body slowly to the entrance of the hideout. There was nothing there, the long and dirty pipes laying diagonally on the ground, taking more space up as they should. The metal frame of the other bed looked empty and unused. The other door, which was unaccessible still closed, as always.
"Fang?" an old voice affirmed, sounds of weight being dropped onto the ladder resounding in the small hideout. With a heavy sigh, Strleok sat up, staring at the pipe at the end of the room, his fingers twitching. His brain screamed at him to spring up and seize the gun to defend himself and his friends, but before he could do anything, he let out a relaxed sigh.
The doctor slowly emerged from their secret entrance and it felt like everything shifted to ordinary again. With so much hope, Strelok sat up, stumbling to his feet, feeling the ache in his body, glancing at Doctor. The older Stalker was blinking around, a warm smile over his wrinkled face, but it was clear in his eyes resembled something so damaged.
"Strelok... I'm glad you are back too" Doctor stated, slowly coming closer to them. Strelok had no idea why, but he just wordlessly slung his arms around the Zone legend, hoping he could fix this. It felt rewarding to get held by the Doctor as if his touch alone had healing powers. Soothing to the soul, moving him, being an operator, and taking control.
"It's gonna be okay... Fang already informed me what happened" Doctor whispered, his voice muffled as he spoke against his arm.
"He didn't- Fang didn't tell me" Strelok huffed out, both sad and concerned that the technician who was looking at them was not being trustful with him. But Strelok knew, Fang was not keeping that information of what had happened exactly to his own out of spite. They were, if not even all, over the edge and barely functional, somehow trying to shove their own discomfort to the side to aid Ghost who needed it the most.
Strelok did not even notice that Doctor had let go of him, with care inspecting Fang's bleeding hand with a frown. They were talking quietly, whispering but Strelok did not interfere, if it was important they would have told him.
Strelok's leg bounced, his pacing making a lot of sound as his boots collided with the concrete floor. Still unsure what to do, he with nervous glances to the others, started to unbuckle the bulletproof vest, taking the Stalker suit off. Finally, with the weight off his shoulders, and being free of the even disgusting-smelling suit, he shoved it to the floor. With trembling hands he ran them over the sweater he was wearing, trying to calm himself down with the texture of it.
"I'd thought you'd known better by now." Doctor scolded Ghost, who just blinked at the man. Doctor nodded, taking a memo that Ghost was partially responsive and he sat down on the mattress, Strelok wanting to join them, but he was stopped.
"Can you bring a medkit?" Doctor instructed, his voice soft. It felt wrong to gaze into the older man's dark brown eyes and see so much concern. As if the Zone and its surroundings were all incorrect and haunting. Quickly he grabbed his backpack that he had deboned in a hurry, took out the orange box, returning to the crowded mattress.
"Will he be alright?" Strelok asked, chewing on the inside of his cheek, sitting down, "Will Ghost make it?"
"Yes, the Controller is dead so there are no more dangers." Doctor stated, that by care, handling the medkit out of his hands, and taking the pain killers out of them. The small containers with the pills let out a sound, similar to rain clashing against a window, and Fang looked up, interested in the sound. As if Doctor could read the technician's mind, he handed him one of the containers. Just like a small kid, finding a new toy, Fang started to turn over the small box, the pills inside raining down to the opposite end. Like music filling the air, the sound was calming.
"Ghost needs a lot of rest now" Doctor explained, his dark eyes checking the still unresponsive Stalker. His voice was not shocking, so it had to be nothing severe, and Strelok hoped for more information.
Doctor's face already said it all, and Strelok without a word got up, grasped one of the water bottles, and handed them over.
"So... Strelok would you be so kind and help Fang? In the meantime, he should tell you what happened" Doctor instructed and Strelok shoveled closer to the technician, who stretched his bleeding hand towards him to inspect. Strelok took some things out of the medkit, unpacking the sterile swipes and carefully taking Fang's hand into his. It felt weird to hold it on his own, the size of their hands so huge, Strelok felt even more undersized and unprotected. Fang was blinking at him with hope in his eyes, clicking his tongue repeatedly, waiting for something. Connecting the dots, Strelok looked at Fang, taking a deep breath before he spoke up, "I'll wipe the blood away now"
Fang just grunted as a response, his muscles tensing but he relaxed as
he started to swipe away the blood off his fingers very carefully.
"How did that happen?" He asked quietly, with uneasiness looking towards Doctor who was still busy dealing with Ghost, trying to get him to drink something. The Phantom just blinked, somehow trying to turn his head but as soon the water flooded into his mouth, he reached out to grab the bottle, but his fingers never reached it.
"I... The controller... it let me come so close to it..." Fang stated, his voice full of wonder, even admiration for the creepy mutant, "But then it attacked"
"Why didn't you shoot it instantly?!" Strelok demanded, wondering why Fang would do such a reckless thing, if one of them knew about the dangers of the Zone the most, it was him. Fang had been the longest in here, all his knowledge from surviving on his own without any electrical devices for ages.
"I wanted to see... what would happen" Fang explained, his voice again aggravated about Strelok not understanding him.
"And?" Strelok urged, his fingers trembling as he saw how the white sterile wipes had soaked in a pinkish tone from the blood. Fang had a huge tear on his hand, running from the side of his hand towards the top of his knuckles, and smaller cuts.
"Before I noticed that something was wrong... I saw... I- I- s- sa-" Fang started to tell what had occurred, but his voice broke off, his stuttering affecting him too much, clearly distressed to think back to it.
"Fang, it's okay if you want I can tell the rest of it, if it's too much trouble, don't force yourself" Doctor hummed, with a reassuring pat on the man's shoulder, smiling fondly at him for at least trying to speak about it. The Stalker nodded, the small container with pills still in his hands, rattling loudly as he started to wipe his face. It felt so hopeless to see Fang crying, the usual though Stalker so unshaken, scared so much, weeping for a friend which they nearly had lost.
Strelok took a deep breath, gulping down his spit as he feared his stomach would empty itself as he saw how badly the wound was. It was a huge gap, one of the smaller veins even somewhat visible.
"Doctor... could you help?" he quickly asked, looking with shock towards the older man, his dark brown eyes looking alarmed as he saw the tear in Fang's skin. Quickly the old man knew what to do, and after reassuring him that Fang was calm enough to get stitches, he started to slowly aid with the wound. Strelok watched closely, even envying the even legendary skill Doctor had, with so much ease stitching the wound close.
"The controller showed me Ghost... He... he had shot himself... His face was... there was nothing left of it..." Fang grunted out, his speech muffled by how tightly he bit his teeth together, taking the pain without even any sedatives.
Strelok blinked shocked, his eyes traveling to the gun on the floor, with fear looking at Ghost who now seemed to have fallen into sleep.
"I... I only broke out of the attack... bec- because of the Exo Suit," Fang defined, "The loud humming of the electronics... and the sudden pain as I caught my finger on the wires, the rifle I was holding... right under my fa- face" Fang grunted out.
"I missed... just because of that" the technician described, not letting any of them comment on the story he was telling, speaking extremely fast to finally get it all out. The hand which was now already looking less angry was cleaned by Doctor who nodded with understanding.
"I... I... found Ghost... just sitting there..." Fang started to explain, his voice again gone, from the new tears that rolled over his cheeks, letting out a whimper that broke Strelok's heart. Carefully so not to startle him, he shoveled closer, wrapping his arms around him, trying to comfort the technician. Fang wrapped his undamaged arm around him, still fidgeting with the pill container nervously.
"I had put all tools away... I had taken every sharp object away to make the whole hideout Ghost secure" Fang snorted, a small smile spreading over his face, and Strelok ran his hands over his back, trying to get him to calm down again.
"It's okay, you did everything correctly" Strelok reassured, eying Doctor who nodded with approval.
"Ghost was alarming affected by the Psi attack, from what Fang informed me, he was already in an unstable state, which made it an easy task for the mutant to take over and let him relieve all his troubles." Doctor clarified, his face twisted by such a miserable look, it felt intensely wrong.
"Ghost just sat th- there, pulling the trigger of the gu- gun repeatedly, not re- responding to anyth- anything" Fang stated further, giving a hated look towards the gun on the floor.
"I took the springs out of it, swapped the magazines with drill rounds, so if it did fire... he couldn't hurt himself"
"That was very thoughtful of you Fang, and I'm so glad you prevented Ghost to do anything severe to himself" Doctor reassured but Fang just shook his head instead.
Days went by very slowly, it was all the same, check up on Ghost and make sure he rests enough and doesn't do anything involving too much activity. Sometimes either he or Fang went outside, to get a breath of fresh air or some time alone. Or to stock up on their resources and food supplies. Strelok tried always to push the fear out of his mind when he got close to the entrance of the Hideout, trying not to think about what had accorded. At night, it was always the same thing, the worry that Ghost might wake up, screaming and tossing around trapped in one of his nightmares. The first few days were the hardest, Strelok felt exhausted to sit next to Ghost, keeping an eye on him. But more and more the Stalker regained consciousness about his surroundings, trying to talk, but his speech was just a mess of words, not making any sense.
It was already the 5th day after Strelok came up to the Hideout, and Ghost seemed more alive again, the Stalker's blue eyes sparkling as he saw him when he woke up, cuddling closer to him. Strelok felt safe next to him, letting him rest in the same space, their bodies tangled. He was not sure how to feel having Ghost this close, even affectionately clinging to him. Ghost was always nuzzling his face right in the spot of his neck, taking all his breath away... Strelok even had the suspicion he was doing it on purpose, using every slight excuse to basically cuddle him, but after a few nights, he got used to it. It felt nice having another warm body, sharing heat in the cold Hideout. It was both securing and something so deeply affectionate and caring, that he couldn't stop smiling while Ghost calmly slept right in his arms.
"Good morning you two love birds" Fang grunted out, tossing something towards the mattress. Strelok just yawned, not wanting to move from the spot, trying to linger in the comfortable warmth of Ghost's side, but the Phantom had other ideas. Ghost, even way too quickly, sat up. Right as Strelok wanted to tell him that he should take it slow, the Stalker shut his eyes, groaning in pain.
"Fuckkkkk" Ghost complained, taking whatever Fang tossed towards him into his hands. Strelok let out a grunt as Ghost moved entirely away, wanting to come back to bed, trying to catch the man's green hoodie.
"Get out of bed" Fang demanded, but the technician stopped, looking at Ghost with worry, who seemed to be a lot in pain.
The man was drilling his hands into his dark hair, somehow trying to fight the pain of the headache he was having. Doctor had told them that it could happen, it was a common side effect, alike as confusion, memory loss, and motor skill issues.
Fang instructed Ghost to wait, the older Stalker was about to grab some sedatives from the small orange medkit box. Ghost just started laughing.
His voice was still slurred, the laughing turning into something like a cruel cough, his entire body shaking as if he was having a seizure. But as soon as it had started, it died down and Ghost sat there, emotionless.
"Ghost... how do you feel?" Strelok asked, with worry eyeing Fang who didn't look in their direction. He finally sat up, shoving with a gentle motion the blanket back over Ghost.
"Cou- couldd be wor- worsee" Ghost struggled out, his speech still heavily affected, but he looked more like himself already. It was rather weird to see Ghost constantly drop his head to the side as if he was trying to get something out of his ear. His tattooed knuckles ran over his stubble, scratching loudly as if he was trying to bring sense into his body.
"Dizzy... Andd... Everything is sp... spinningg" Ghost informed, squinting his eyes as if he was making sure he was right about that. Strelok tried to smile, and he patted his shoulder, earning a small snicker from the Phantom.
"I... I had some... weird... weird nightmares" Ghost explained, taking a long huff, "A controller... a-and"
"Shhhhhhhhh! SHHHH!! You sound pretty hot when you shut up. So keep quiet!" Fang groaned out and Ghost blinked disoriented around. It was kinda entertaining seeing his delinquent reaction, his eyebrows shooting up with surprise, opening his mouth baffled, staring at Fang extremely flustered.
"Thanks..." Ghost chuckled, with an over elegant hand wave expressing his attitude, either mocking his confidence or being really out of it.
"So, time for your rest but first eat breakfast!" Fang growled, with even a threatening glance drilling into Ghost and Strelok shuddered. It felt like he instantly had to lay down too, but someone had to keep watching Ghost while he rested.
"Okey Dokey... You just wanna go rid of me!" Ghost gasped offended, like an enraged child, crossing his arms and pouting.
"No, but I w- w- wanna admire you in your-r sleep" Fang stated and Strelok thought he might choke on his own spit. It was not even the words that the technician was saying to Ghost, but how he delivered them. In any other context this could have even sounded excessively affectionate and delicate, maybe even more... but with Fang's stare and the way he angrily bark it out, it was the most terrifying and bizarre thing he could think of ever witnessing.
"Thanks... now I'll have nightmares too, you sound like you intend to murder him" Strelok snorted out quietly, Ghost again burst into laughter, shaking his head. It was clear that, that it didn't seem like a good idea by how Ghost stopped moving, blinking around again not sure which direction his brain was going into, swaying awkwardly in the spot he was sitting looking pained even.
"Ugh... my head" The Phantom grunted out, resting his palm on his forehead.
"Wa- Wait... I'll give you s- something" Fang grunted out, groaning as he bent down to get a mug off the ground.
"A kiss?" Ghost asked, his voice so hopeful, it was even adorable on how excited he made himself over that idea. Right as Strelok just finished his own thought process he blinked confused at the Stalker next to him, feeling his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Wait... that...
"The only kiss you get is my fist meeting your lips, bastard" Fang grunted, this time his joking manner gone, dead serious, snapping Strelok out of his nervous sense.
"That's my type" Ghost laughed, the smile so sincere, it already felt like he was back to normal. But that was not the case and both Strelok and Fang knew that his behavior has changing rapidly from being unresponsive for hours again to normal. Cleanse and repeat and it felt discouraging, usually, Stalkers were not so long affected by past Controller attacks.
"You want me to beat you to death?!" Fang snorted.
"Go on, kill me, I'll haunt you from the grave," Ghost huffed out, but it seemed to be more a joke than an actual threat. His laugh was echoing in the space, and it felt so nice to hear it again.
"I haven't seen you laugh in a while," Strelok explained, not wanting to look at Ghost, who looked up from the spot on the mattress, smiling.
"Awww! But I like to hear you laugh too" Ghost replied, the sly manner of him back, but Strelok could not even smile at that, it hurt.
Ghost was still not back to his former state, and just a few hours ago he had woken up, frankly and paranoid demanding a phone? Fang had given him the said device but said nothing about it, just with a sad frown given it to the Phantom. Strelok watched how Ghost, in both a state of being awake and sleeping, tried to call someone, restlessly sobbing again, whispering things that felt way too personal to even listen to. But it was clear, that he was sleepwalking, and someone had to always watch him, to prevent him from accidentally hurting himself. Strelok would be lying if he did not out of interest ask about why Ghost was so fixated on the old phone which didn't even seem to work, the screen completely shattered. He had asked Fang, who just huffed annoyed, stating that it had been working before he left. But that did not help any of the mystery, just when Strelok looked at the screen, he saw that it never had any signal down here in the Hideout.
The few next days went smoother, Ghost could already stand back on his legs, even if extremely wonky, smiling eagerly to show that he was not as helpless. He was constantly complaining about having now two babysitters, demanding Fang to stop worrying. Ghost was still asleep, and it had already become routine that Fang woke him up, giving him something to drink. He was always shoved out of the room when Fang was doing that, and it already since the start felt obviously suspicious.
Fang was standing at the table, preparing whatever he was making.
"What are you doing?" Strelok demanded, feeling a cold shiver run over his back as he saw that the Stalker had pressed his entire weight against the table, a loud crack snapping out.
With a spoon, Fang had set the mug filled with water under the table, starting to scoop whatever he just had broken into the item.
Strelok stepped closer freezing in fear as he saw that it was some sort of Pulver, grasping Fang on his arm to stop him.
"Fang?! What is that?!" He demanded with shock, eyeing the Stalker who just scoffed at him annoyed from preventing him from whatever he was doing.
"Wouldn't you like to know baby boy?!" He scowled out, with a yank breaking himself free, continuing to put the powder into the drink.
"What is this?" Strelok urged, dabbing his finger into the powdery substance, smelling it. It didn't smell anything like vinegar or ammonia, with no strong odor hanging on it. But whatever it was, he needed to know, he didn't want Fang to hurt, following Ghost's example by taking negligently all sorts of drugs...
"It's to help" Fang stated, raising his eyebrow, watching Strelok sniffing on it.
"Please... Please don't tell me you want to get high... " Strelok demanded, closely watching Fang who shook his head.
"Not for me, you dum- it's for Ghost..." Fang grunted out, clearly trying his hardest not to swear at him.
"What is it..." Strelok tried again, he could feel how fast his heart was pounding in his chest with fear.
"Medicine" Fang growled out, clearly irritated.
"You.. you just give him that? Without telling him?" Strelok startled out, who knows what risks that could bring, they weren't sure how badly it could affect Ghost's state at all.
"Yes, why? It was Doctor's instructions! He said so he could recover faster!" Fang explained, clearly confused about why Strelok did not trust him.
"But what is it? " Strelok urged again, nervously jumping from one foot to another, "What else did Doctor say?"
"Ghost needs rest, and we should watch him in his sleep... He might get relapses but just for the first 2 weeks" Fang informed him and Strelok just blinked, looking at the white Pulver. Was that the reason why Fang had gone to Doctor all by himself? Strelok already wanted to disagree as he had left, but he had already set his mind. What if those meds wouldn't help Ghost at all and just change him even more from the cheerful Stalker they knew? He had not a lot of knowledge about such things, just knowing that once you took those, it was hard to ever get back to life normally.
"It's Antipsychotics" Fang explained, and Strelok hoped he would say more about it.
"Why would you give him that?! He isn't insane!" Strelok urged, actually not being able to believe that, why in the Zone would Fang even agree to give Ghost so cursed and strong medications?
"I’m doing him a favor. You’re just too irrational to see that, right now." Fang stated, not eyeing Strelok who stared at the white powder on the desk.
"Please promise you will tell him about this, once he is back to normal" Strelok instructed, relaxing as he saw that the man nodded in agreement.
To Strelok's surprise, Ghost's state actually improved quite a lot the next days, again just complaining about not being able to do anything, and having to rest in bed. Most of the time the Stalker was busy with the PDA in his hands, or the laptop on his knees, keeping busy like that. Strelok had already told Ghost to stop frying his brain with the awful screen time the man seemed to endure, just rolling his eyes annoyed, leaving the devices.
"I'll put thee P- PDA downn, if y- youu cuddle with me" Ghost protested and Strelok ran his hand over his face, nodding. He dropped himself onto the mattress, wrapping his arms around him. They stayed like that for a while, until Ghost repeatedly started to yawn. It was not long until the Stalker fell asleep, and Strelok carefully escaped his trapping arms of him. With care, he shoved some old hoddies under Ghost's arm, relaxing at the sight that he slept quietly for now.
Fang came back from the small trip, with a grunt starting to dissolve the Exo Skeleton suit, placing the batteries of it, on the desk. Strelok flinched, he had sunken into some deep state of his own research, the PDA and the lines on the screen now blurry. He adjusted his glasses and looked up to Fang, who without a word dropped food packed in a plastic bag onto his lap.
"I never wanted things to turn out this way." The technician expressed gloomily and Strelok nodded, unsure what to say. It was draining for both of them, but Ghost was so much better now. Sometimes the Stalker seemed to be even more foolish than before, having the craziest ideas, just laying on the bed and rambling about movies he had seen.
Strelok had to suppress a chuckle, it was actually the first time they all spent literal full days with each other, and it was even weird to see how annoying he could be...
"I'll take over from here, go get some rest" Strelok justified, seeing how tense Fang was in his spot. He was, if not repeatedly tearing on the sleeve of his sweater, swaying his head. Strelok already knew he could simply help Fang by giving him a different task, so he moved up. His boots collided loudly with the wooden blanks, strolling over where Fang sat next to Ghost, protecting him. Without a word Strelok handed Fang the small trinket that he usually had on his backpack, placing it into his hands. The technician looked up, still spaced out, automatically
taking the item he was handed. Fang already looked more collected, rolling the stones between his fingers.
"I'm sure he will be fine, we just gotta make sure he stays like this" Strelok illustrated, clinging to the hope that a different environment would fix this somehow. Away from the cold and brutal atmosphere of the Hideout.
" Okey... good plan" Fang simply noted, not looking at him as he continually rolled the screw between his fingertips, moving it up and down on the string and other random accessories of the keychain. The sound was even familiar, metal meeting metal, the clinging of multiple things. It felt normal, the constant noises that Fang created making the Hideout so much more alive and comfortable, even if he was not talking out loud, the continued grunting or snipping of fingers suggested that the Stalker always had something on his mind, expressing so much that not everyone saw. First Strelok was not sure how to deal with Fang's unusual behaviors, the even childlike frustration behind not understanding tasks, or not getting hints was not easy to deal with. But Ghost seemed so much better at calming and understanding the older Stalker, just breaking his shell somehow, Fang finally showing his true self but still, he was most of the time cold. But just like Strelok, which he didn't want to admit, he had a huge heart concealed underneath a massive concrete plate as protection.
His gaze was not taken off from Ghost, who looked for the first time calm and normal. The sinking of his chest, and the shallow breathing had some soothing effect. Despite the warning from the Doctor, it was clear it lingered in both of their minds. It was not easy in the night, both of them too afraid to fall asleep, not knowing what would happen to Ghost in his dreams.
"I'm gonna slee- sleep" Fang exhaled slowly, sitting himself up, the trinket still in his fingers. Carefully, so as not to disturb the resting, Fang stood up, strolling over to the metal frame bed. The rusty material groaned as the Stalker placed himself down. As if he was cold, he wrapped the blanket over his frame and Strelok blinked uncertainly at him. Fang still had his eyes open, without words expressing so much as they held eye contact.
"I'm s- sorry" Fang quietly explained, his voice still too loud for a real whisper, his face twitching. Strelok gave an understanding nod, trying not to stare at the man's scars on his face, the gap in his lip stretching and revealing his gum and teeth as he smiled.
"This is gonna sound bad, so hear me out." Fang out of a sudden stated, attempting to shake his head which was burrowed in the hoddie he was using as a pillow, "Fang... don't do it"
"Ghost... Ghost is" Fang started, blinking a few times to try to think of whatever he wanted to reveal was okay to share.
"It's... If it's something about what Ghost said to you... it maybe has a reason why he just told you, Fang" Strelok urged, running his knuckles over his eyes, feeling how tired he was even though he already had slept.
"Do you know what love feels like?" Fang queried, his voice so skeptical but also full of curiousness.
"I..." Strelok started, squinting his eyes as trying to think of some memories of his past, closing his mouth uncertain. Did he know what it felt like to be cared about? Sure, Ghost and Fang did care, but was it the same love as if you were in a romantic relationship? Strelok bit his lip, the unsureness of his own answer getting hold of him.
"Maybe... It's hard to say" Strelok decided to share, looking to Fang who snorted, staring at him. The eye contact felt drilling as if he was trying to get into the inside of his head, and Fang let out another groan, turning around without a word.
"And... you?" Strelok requested, not wanting to leave this already awkward topic just like that hanging in the air, uncertain about the meaning behind it, but it was never easy to tell what Fang tried to achieve by asking the most random questions involving emotions. Strelok recalled Fang asking if they ever felt jealous in their lives, with interest listening just to space out, snorting and saying he did not understand their reasons, rambling to himself.
"Pffff... do I look like I was e- ever l- loved?" Fang stated, that it was such a cruel statement and the technician just expressed it as if it was the topic of the weather in the Zone, with no care behind it. Strelok blinked, seeing that Fang had turned his head to look at him.
"But... you still care about so many things, there are..."
"Differ-rent types of love? I love the first scr-rewdriver that I still have! And the r-rifle that Ghost r-requested me to upgrade... One of our proudest achievements after the Exo skeleton suit, am I r-right, Fang?" the older technician stated, nodding and he grinned, "It is!" he praised himself.
"That... is that what you meant?" Strelok questioned, trying to connect the dots, but it felt like instead of small ropes he had a whole orb of wool in his hand, unable to untangle any of it.
"We are dear- dearly loved" Fang explained, his eyes glued to the dark ceiling, gesturing with his hand around, the trinkets on the rings, dangling down from his fingers, clinging from the movement.
"B... By Ghost" Fang added, turning his head to stare at Strelok.
It felt so sincere, even too much, and just like the hard truth, he had no idea how to even respond.
"He is always there for us when we needed him the most... Through losses and gains" Fang explained further, his voice loaded with sorrow.
"And we couldn't save his soul in return" Fang stated low, "I... I didn't... I didn't want to hurt him" His voice trembled with irritation again, clearly resentful about how they had treated their friend.
"But we still can help him now... It's not too late" Strelok urged, feeling his chest tight with fear that they might have lost the Stalker's cheerful side.
But it was hard, he couldn't play that role, not like Ghost did for them. It always seemed like was made for it, so enthusiastic and soothing when approaching, so understanding and caring, it even sometimes felt fake knowing he could be just as cruel as everyone else in the Zone.
"Did he ask what happened?" Fang asked, suddenly sitting up, squinting his eyes and Strelok leaned more against the wall behind his back, checking on Ghost who was laying next to him on the mattress.
"No... did he ask you?" Strelok quickly replied, not even sure anymore if he had the energy to keep the conversation going, but it might be better to chatter instead of getting lost in his depressing and cold thoughts that seemed to creep closer the longer he stared at Ghost.
"Ghost... he needs love now, like a baby" Fang added, "Maybe he is one, but we can't be sure! Maybe his brain is the size of a peanut, but I don't want to split his skull in half to check"
"Please don't " Sterlok huffed out, running his fingers over the hair of the sleeping Stalker they were talking about. But it was clear, that Fang had other ideas, either joking or not, that part was not clear.
"Ah, don't worry! I already gave up on the dream to become a Doctor since I was young" Fang rasped out, shaking his head, looking over to the Phantom.
"You wanted to become a doctor?" Strelok requested, actually surprised by that. He was kinda glad that the older man did not follow that dream, that could have ended badly...
"What?! Don't tell me you never had stupid childlike dreams, as unreachable as a penis" Fang snorted and Strelok blinked confused. He squinted his eyes, somehow trying to figure out what he meant by that, but it could have been one of the weird phrases that Fang always seemed to use, never explaining any of them.
"I... I guess, I mean I did" Strelok answered, not knowing if he should smile or cry by the way Fang looked at him.
"You also... damn". Fang stated, his eyes blinking repeatedly trying to stay awake to answer something towards him, suppressing a yawn.
"I wanted to become an astronaut... or a scientist" Strelok informed, getting gloomy over the fact that those were indeed unreachable goals... as penises as Fang just said, whatever that even indicated.
"Oh... Don't jump into a Springboard anomaly trying to reach space..." Fang laughed, his voice so rough it sounded like he was coughing.
"Don't worry about that" Strelok chuckled, unable not to smile at that.
Fang seemed already to fall asleep right on the spot, yawning and dropping himself without resistance from the old metal bed frame onto the mattress. The sound was extremely loud as the spring bounced up and down, but Strelok did not comment on it, closing his eyes for a short moment, enjoying the more lightened atmosphere now.
Just after a week, everything was normal and Ghost finally seemed stable enough, kept asking what happened. It felt weird, he seemed to not recall any events from what happened in the recovery phase he was in, being so overjoyed to see Strelok. Felt rewarding to give him finally the gift he had brought back, quickly shoving the guitar case over the Hideout as Ghost had his eyes closed, Fang also making sure he didn't look too soon. With the words still remaining in mind what Fang had said he quickly wrote down the words on the note, just to regret it instantly, hiding with fear that Ghost's state could be taken away again. Sure the next few days after that were heated, the Phantom being very aggressive about the fact that they smuggled medications into his drinks, but after exemplifying that it was Doctor's idea and plan, he calmed down. And even after a few hours of brooding in a corner, he actually apologized.
It all felt so weird, but in the end, it was rewarding. Somehow everything was back to normal again, the swirling of anomalies ringing out as always, the loud annoying music from the Bandit base, the yelping of wild dogs, and the random screaming and firing of guns were echoing in the Zone.
The sun was shining brightly and the crackling of the fire was resounding in the space around them. The wind let the sparks fly into the air, and Strelok smiled, seeing Ghost with care jerking his fingers over the strings of the guitar, practicing for hours a song. The melody sounded so sad but still calm and joyful, and Strelok watched and listened with enthusiasm to the Stalker being so happy about the gift.
"Let me play you a song" Ghost offered, his usual genuine smile back on his face, his blue eyes sparkling with so much affection towards him.
"Sure, what is it called?" Strelok asked, looking up from PDA to look what new updates were in the Zone.
"For my dearly loved Strelok" Ghost joked, but his laugh was more than enough to make this hell of a trip so much more worth it, "And Fang, of course"