Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian doesn't have a lot of patience, but he surely can wait long enough in a life or death situation. Which this one certainly is, sort of. Given that they both, him and Lan Zhan, were declared dead, for there is no other reason for them to be lying side by side in Cloud Recesses' ancestral hall, it sounds really stupid. But still if someone sees him now they will definitely kill him, this time for real. They would probably think he became some kind of resentful being and is going to haunt them now.
So this is a life or death situation, and what makes it more important, Lan Zhan's life is at stake. They should be quick, it's already a blessing no one is here at the moment. Considering that someone should be burning paper money if not for him, then for Lan Zhan, at least Lan Xichen who loved him so much, they got lucky here. Or maybe it was not luck but Lan Zhan's deep knowledge of Lan burial ritual. The same thing that guaranteed they will be put together in the same room.
It is hard to see Lan Zhan's unmoving body. His chest doesn't rise and fall in deep breaths as if he's asleep, his skin is cold and his heart doesn't beat. Wen Qing did her part right, Lan Zhan looks dead, as did Wei Wuxian until mere moments ago. With shaking hands he touches Lan Zhan's cheeks and confirms his suspicions: Lan Zhan is cold like a jade people so often compare him with.
That day in Koi Tower Lan Zhan gave him the fright of his life. Wei Wuxian thought they were poisoned for real, he didn't know Lan Zhan had a second vial of Wen Qing's potion, the one he was hiding in the sleeve of his robes. The thing is perfect for faking poisoning, the symptoms obvious and quick. That was their way out, their chance to leave and be left in peace. They agreed to use it if the situation spinned out of control but Wei Wuxian thought he was the only one who had it. Lan Zhan having another one actually makes sense, though he would've preferred if Lan Zhan warned him. He was never so terrified before, not even when Wen Qing told him she couldn't use anesthetic, not even when Wen Chao took him to Burial Mounds. But he also is glad because he doubts he would have used it at all. For one, it was risky. They couldn't be certain of anything. Or, maybe, Wei Wuxian couldn't, things have gone exactly as Lan Zhan told him they would. They were placed in Lan ancestral hall together as a married couple, side by side with their hands bound by Lan Zhan's ribbon.
The second reason he hesitated to use this plan was because now they are dead to the world. This means Lan Zhan will never be able to return to his home, to his family. He knew this might be his last time to see shijie and Jiang Cheng and he made peace with that thought. It hurt, it still does, but Wei Wuxian tried to be realistic. Things were different for Lan Zhan. He didn't want to force his husband to leave everything, to choose him over the sect that brought him up and the family that loves him. Lan Zhan has chosen without him asking. It was his choice and Lan Zhan had the ultimate right to make it for himself.
Though Wei Wuxian is still going to have a talk with Lan Zhan about proper warnings and scaring your husband for life. He has never felt so helpless and desperate as in those moments when he thought Lan Zhan was dying and he couldn't do anything to help him. They are together in this life, so they should have been together in that thing too. In faking their deaths.
There, Wei Wuxian admits it, just to himself for now, but he is not a coward, at least not completely. What they did, he and Lan Zhan, must have brought a lot of pain to their loved ones. He must have made shijie cry and he is absolutely the worst for doing that to her. They made their family members mourn them, and Wei Wuxian is guilty, but is relieved too. They are free now, free to live their lives how they see fit for themselves.
But first they must get out of here and do it quickly. Wei Wuxian moves cautiously remembering Lan Zhan's instructions. It is disturbing that Lan Zhan is still unconscious, but Wei Wuxian has no time to think about this now. He steps around silently and finds a stack of talisman paper exactly where Lan Zhan told him he left it. The writing on the tablet says 'Lan Qihao' which is the name of Lan Zhan's father. Wei Wuxian murmurs a quick apology, then looks to the side and stops in shock. There is no tablet for Lan Zhan's mother here. He can see tables with the names of spouses of Lan clan leaders and family members but the place next to Lan Qihao's tablet is empty. Like Lan Zhan's mother has never existed.
With a trembling hand he draws a talisman and pushes it to the hall entrance. It will warn him if someone approaches. Then he moves to Lan Zhan's side just in time for his husband to regain his consciousness. It is fortunate because Wei Wuxian is so angry he needs someone to help him control himself. He takes a deep breath, then another. It doesn't do much but Lan Zhan is here, next to him and alive, and Wei Wuxian feels the tension he didn't realise was there leaving him.
"Wei Ying," he hears Lan Zhan's voice, rough and quiet. "I am sorry".
"You scared me, Lan Zhan," he mumbles. "But I'm sure you had reasons".
"Your tea was poisoned".
Wei Wuxian is not surprised. It is completely understandable that Jin Guangshan decided to better deal with the dead Yiling Laozu. What he is not certain about is how he lived through the assassination attempt. Sure, Wen Qing gave Lan Zhan some instructions but he didn't do anything. Except for adding that potion to their tea.
"How did you know?" he asks. Maybe it will give him some hint.
"I drank it. It was supposed to induce qi deviation".
"Except they didn't know I have no golden core," Wei Wuxian realizes. It makes sense: if he deviated people wouldn't suspect foul play because of his cultivation path. "And you felt fluctuations in your qi immediately and decided that the simplest way to prevent deviation was to stop the flow of qi in your body".
When Wen Qing gave them the vial of her potion she explained that it would not only slow their body functions to bare minimum but also seal spiritual power to feel as if the golden core was not functioning any more. So when Lan Zhan drank the poison he decided to just go with it and seal his core with the only way available. If he didn't do it, he would have died. Lan Zhan was really dying there in Koi Tower right before Wei Wuxian's eyes. And Wei Wuxian didn't pay enough attention to notice that. He really is the worst.
"If you are blaming yourself now, stop," Lan Zhan says sternly, getting up from where he is lying. Wei Wuxian winces.
"I should have seen that…"
"You were doing what we agreed upon. Trying to break from the cultivation world without resorting to desperate measures. I only am sorry your efforts were for naught".
Wei Wuxian wants to answer, to protest and remind Lan Zhan that they were supposed to look after each other and instead he got carried away in his verbal spar with Jin Guangshan, but just then they hear a branch cracking outside the hall and both freeze. They have no time, they should get going, not discuss things that led them to this situation. Wei Wuxian takes the talisman paper and nips at his finger to use blood for better effect. Meanwhile Lan Zhan steps outside carefully for some long painful moments. When Wei Wuxian lifts his head up after finishing his preparations he sees Lan Zhan laying down a corpse on the platform he was earlier on.
Wei Wuxian blinks very slowly but the corpse is still there when he opens his eyes. When Lan Zhan said he will have something ready to replace them just in case Wei Wuxian thought those would be paper dolls like funeral houses sell or some wooden mannequins. He did not expect real corpses. Lan Zhan catches his gaze and explains:
"They were to be buried in the unmarked grave. No one claimed the bodies, no one knew their names".
This could still be problematic for Gusu Lan in future, but for now they will be alright. He doesn't feel a lot of resentful energy from the corpses, so the chance of them rising to make trouble is minimal. Truth be told, his and Lan Zhan's bodies should be much more resentful considering how they supposedly died. This should do, he can't play Chenqing to raise resentment in these corpses. Not only the sound of dizi will blow their cover immediately but it is unfair to those poor men Lan Zhan found.
They change into plain dark robes Lan Zhan took from his qiankun pouch and then dress the corpses in the intricate burial clothes of Gusu Lan. Wei Wuxian helps Lan Zhan to arrange their hair quickly, because they should leave the hall. Someone can come here, can see them and then everything will be over for real. The last thing Lan Zhan does is tying his forehead ribbon around his substitutes' wrists. He takes a deep breath and plasters the finished talisman on the corpse's face giving him a quick apology. He has to ask for forgiveness from the dead a lot today. The talisman activates and it's only seconds before they look at Lan Zhan's unmoving face.
It will be hours before it wears off, by that time the corpses will be buried and he and Lan Zhan long gone home. The talisman doesn't replicate bodies, only faces, so it is fortunate that Lan Zhan found people with similar builds to them. Wei Wuxian also hopes no one will want to check for one last time if this is really him and undress the corpse. He might have written dozens of talismans but it is impossible to imitate the burn mark from Wen branding iron or scars from Zidian.
When they finally finish they look at two copies of themselves. Wei Wuxian thinks they have done a pretty decent job and most people won't be able to catch little differences between them and the corpses they are burying. He steals a look at Lan Zhan and then both of them are kneeling and bowing to the earth before the prepared corpses. They whisper a quick prayer to thank the spirits of these dead men for the life they can have. Only after that Lan Zhan takes his hand and they are creeping out of the ancestral hall.
Cloud Recesses are quiet. It is night so Wei Wuxian should not be surprised but he still is. Can there be no rule-breaking even after their Hanguang-jun died? Though he supposed mourning might be forbidden because their Hanguang-jun turned up to be married to Yiling Laozu. And Gusu Lan has always forbidden everything excessive, which grieving at night, when good disciples must sleep, definitely is. Wei Wuxian still thinks that moderating grief and happiness is stupid and, well, excessive as fuck.
Not that Lans were ever interested in his opinion on their rules.
They move past Jingshi, Lan Zhan's home for years since he was old enough to live alone. Lan Zhan stops to say his goodbye and Wei Wuxian can't find it in himself to hurry him now. Lan Zhan leaves a whole life behind, he can wait. Fortunately it is not long before Lan Zhan bows once bidding farewell to everything he holds dear that stays here and takes several long strides until he is under an old willow tree. Wei Wuxian hurries to catch up and kneels as Lan Zhan digs up something.
"I am sorry you have to leave Chenqing here," Lan Zhan murmurs, clutching the fabric wound around the thing he dug up.
"It is fine, Lan Zhan. I knew it would have to be like this if we were to proceed with our escape plan," Wei Wuxian attempts to soothe him. He honestly is happy Lan Zhan is alive and they can go home now. So what if he has to leave his dizi here? Yes, it is his loyal weapon and he has gone through a lot with Chenqing in his hand. "I will be alright without it. Besides, you will have to leave Wangji and Bichen as well".
Lan Zhan will have to leave far more than that. His home, his family and sect, everything that was his life for more than two decades. What is a dizi compared to all that? Lan Zhan is ready to abandon everything only for Wei Wuxian, for life together, and Wei Wuxian is still not sure how he deserved that much loyalty. Is he really worth that much sacrifice?
"It is somewhat distressing. But I will have this instead," Lan Zhan sheds the fabric and Wei Wuxian finally sees what was hidden there. A sword. "Yueguang was supposed to be my sword, mother wanted her youngest child to wield it. The elders forbid. The clan heir could not carry a weapon that was washed in Lan clan member's blood".
"So they have forsaken your mother's wish. And then they tell us about liberation and granting spirits their wishes," Wei Wuxian muses.
He is terribly tempted to go on some elder killing spree. They could even try and pin it on Yiling Laozu's resentful spirit. Wouldn't be that far from the truth. He shakes his head and focuses his attention on Lan Zhan.
Yueguang is a beautiful sword, wooden scabbard adorned with silver accents and carvings. Lan Zhan pulls it easily, the weapon obviously accepting him as its master, and freezes. Wei Wuxian won't lie, he is terrified when Lan Zhan doesn't answer his whispered questions. They can't be loud, they can't stay in one place for too long, they can't get caught, because it will mean death. Finally after what feels like eternity Lan Zhan blinks slowly and focuses his gaze on Wei Wuxian.
"It was my mother's voice. It's like she left a message for me".
Wei Wuxian doesn't know what to say. He is glad Lan Zhan got to hear his mother's parting words but they can't stay here any longer. They are too close to Jingshi. Who knows when some grieving and because of that suddenly rule-breaking Lan might decide to visit Lan Zhan's residence? They can't risk now, especially considering their doubles lying in the ancestral hall and them packed and prepared to leave.
But they also have a sword now and a loyal one, it won't throw them off while they are high in the air. This gives them a chance to speed away from Cloud Recesses as fast as Lan Zhan could muster after his near qi deviation and then potion-induced fake death. Which leads Wei Wuxian to the thought that maybe flying is not the best idea for now. They will have to make this decision later. Wei Wuxian doesn't like the thought of Lan Zhan overexerting himself but he also understands that desperate times call for desperate measures. If they somehow trigger Cloud Recesses' barriers they will be pressed for time and it will not be a question if they should fly away from here as fast as they could. So it will be mostly up to Wei Wuxian to get them out of Cloud Recesses safely.
It is not exactly a problem as Wei Wuxian is good at arrays. He broke into Cloud Recesses years ago when he was only fifteen and he would like to think he got better at subtly broaching protections and finding ways to avoid being detected. And now he has Lan Zhan on his side who, he hopes, knows enough about the warding system of Gusu Lan to make a breach in it without alerting someone. Then they will be able to slip away and travel safely at the most comfortable pace. Wei Wuxian is afraid to hope. He hoped when they traveled to Koi Tower and where he is now? Dead to the world and trying to sneak out of Cloud Recesses with his equally presumed dead husband.
Lan Zhan leads them to the back hills and Wei Wuxian can't help but smile remembering the simpler times when he teased Lan Zhan and sauntered through Cloud Recesses at night just for fun. But those are far away, separated from them by death, destruction and grief. They lived through so much in these past years, it's no wonder that they are nothing like they were before everything started spiralling down. When they reach the place where they emerged from Lan Yi's cave, Wei Wuxian tugs at Lan Zhan's sleeve to stop him. They might as well pay their respects now. Somehow Lan Zhan understands him without words and they kneel down in perfect synch, look at each other and then bow in the direction of the cave.
"Thank you, Lan Yi-laoshi, for your blessings and approval. This Wei Wuxian will try to care well about your descendant," he whispers reverently.
He feels more than sees Lan Zhan's fond gaze and light blush on his cheeks. Lan Zhan is adorable with this shyness that shows sometimes when Wei Wuxian says or does anything to show his feelings, to express the enormous gratitude to the heavens for the greatest gift of Lan Zhan's presence in his life. So he takes Lan Zhan's hand and interlaces their fingers for a few moments not relying on his words to communicate all the different emotions swirling in his chest.
They don't waste time after that, crossing the remaining distance to the edge of the barrier swiftly. Lan Zhan tugs at his hand when they reach one of the stones that have protection arrays engraved on them. Wei Wuxian lets a heavy exhale out and reaches for talisman paper for his work. Lan Zhan takes Yueguang from its scabbard to give him light. The engraved array seems complex and the more Wei Wuxian looks at it the more he feels like they will not get away from Cloud Recesses without someone noticing the disturbance. He should have known, should have thought about staging something. Maybe stealing his own 'corpse' from Cloud Recesses would be a reason good enough to explain intrusion.
They have no time for this now. He might have to ask Lan Zhan to take them away on Yueguang the moment the barrier is lifted up. Which will be extremely dangerous given the time and their states but less so then meeting Lan cultivators and their swords. He spent weeks studying the texts on warding and arrays from Gusu library but he couldn't find a weak point in this thing. Lans must have upgraded the barrier a lot after the Wen attack because a few years ago it was extremely easy to break into the sect.
And he has no time to pick this barrier apart to find the way to cross it without alerting someone. But maybe he doesn’t have to. Wei Wuxian takes one more look at the array as his idea shapes into a theory, a plausible way to cross the barrier. He will have to leave some false trails for Lans to follow. The trick is to make them notice those trails but not make the distraction too obvious. Adding to it the fact that most warding arrays are made to keep things outside not inside, it makes his work easier. He feels slightly guilty about what he intends to do but they need to get away. So he asks Lan Zhan to follow him on his sword and purposely leaves signs of a person passing here. When he deems his distraction enough Lan Zhan takes him on his sword to return to the edge of the wards. Lan Zhan doesn’t comment on his actions but Wei Wuxian still feels the need to apologise for making Lan disciples run circles around Cloud Recesses in the search of intruders who will not be there.
"This is not important," Lan Zhan answers and probably means it. Lan Zhan rarely says things he doesn’t mean.
"Alright. Your sword".
Lan Zhan is not thrilled but gives him Yueguang nonetheless. Wei Wuxian absolutely adores the displeased expression on his face. He probes a blade and it is still sharp, as expected with first-class spiritual weapons. Lan Zhan looks with visible unease as he draws a talisman with his bloodied fingers. The practice is highly unorthodox but Wei Wuxian has noticed that writing with blood gives talismans more power sometimes. Which is perfect for what they are going to do. The talisman slams onto the invisible spiritual wall of a barrier and dissipates into nothingness. No other way to test if it is a success besides crossing the border of Cloud Recesses.
Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Zhan and ignores the swirl of feelings inside of him. What if Lan Zhan regrets this in future? He knows they talked this through, but he can't help himself and asks:
"Are you sure?"
Lan Zhan looks at him like he is the only thing in the world that matters. Wei Wuxian loves and hates to be on the receiving end of this gaze because it is liberating and at the same time difficult to live up to expectations. The one he puts on himself. He still thinks sometimes, most of the time, he is undeserving of this, of Lan Zhan's devotion.
"We talked about this, Wei Ying," Lan Zhan reminds him. "And there is no way back for me now".
Lan Zhan's face in the pale light of Yueguang looks almost smug. Wei Wuxian sighs.
"You like it, don't you?"
"I like that I don't have to be separated from you again".
And that is one way to put it. He is glad he doesn't have to part from Lan Zhan too but they are leaving family behind, people who they love and will miss. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and Wei Wuxian has to keep reminding himself that he is not at fault here.
"I like that too," Wei Wuxian admits.
He allows Lan Zhan to take him up on the sword under the condition of Lan Zhan immediately informing him if he starts to feel tired. Lan Zhan agrees easily and that is a relief. They travel by sword for a shichen before Wei Wuxian insists that they should continue on foot. There is no sign of a chase and they are safe for now. And it is dangerous to fly in darkness, more so with the weather worsening. The wind is not as strong down on the ground between the trees as it is in the sky.
They pass Caiyi and head for the next small town not wishing to risk someone recognizing Hanguang-jun. The sun is rising when they stop at the outskirts of a town, more like a big village but who cares for details? Lan Zhan stays waiting under the shade of a big tree while Wei Wuxian goes to buy some food. The stall owner, an eldery woman with grey hair and kind eyes, gives him a smile and insists he takes two buns for free. He is too thin, she tells him that several times while her granddaughter packs his purchases.
"Have you heard any big news here?" Wei Wuxian decides to ask.
"Everyone has heard by now, but I guess if gongzi is travelling you might have missed," she replies readily. Either she likes to gossip or him spending enough money here helped. "Hanguang-jun died. Was poisoned by someone in Lanling. Vile people, those Jins, if you ask me, murdering people in the middle of their own heir's celebration. Poor young Jin-furen. And Hanguang-jun was such a good man. Saved our town from angry spirits some months ago. Truly a pity".
"Thank you".
Wei Wuxian bows and hurries to Lan Zhan. It's a good thing that he was the one to go and buy food or they would have to explain to the people how Hanguang-jun, who was dead according to Gusu Lan, is here buying buns and fried vegetables from their stalls. Lan Zhan is exactly where Wei Wuxian left him which calms Wei Wuxian some more. They share a warm and filling breakfast and then continue on their way to their new home.
It starts raining close to the evening. The drops are cold and harsh, small but almost sharp like tiny daggers. For a moment Wei Wuxian thinks the heavens must be punishing them for the deception, for how they played with the feelings and fates of other people. But the thought is ridiculous. What have other people that happen to be outside in this weather done? Are they punished too? Yes, utterly ridiculous.
Wei Wuxian smiles remembering how Lan Zhan used to say exactly the same words almost every time they spoke when they were kids studying in Cloud Recesses. According to Lan Zhan everything Wei Wuxian did was either ridiculous or boring. Now Wei Wuxian knows those were the rare times when Lan Zhan gave voice to things he didn't mean. This makes him happy, the understanding that Lan Zhan has never hated him, the thought that Lan Zhan had to use those masks, those lies to hide his real reaction.
The rain does not intensify as they continue walking, but it is highly uncomfortable and his clothes are wet and the wind is almost freezing. Wei Wuxian thinks about stopping for the night, looking for somewhere to sleep. He is tired beyond measure and worried that Lan Zhan hides his own fatigue for the sole reason to not be the responsible for the delay. They are worth each other in this regard. A stray thought emerges in his head. He hates being a hindrance and a burden but will do anything for Lan Zhan’s comfort. Maybe if he gives Lan Zhan the right motivation they can have a proper night's rest.
"Lan Zhan, do you think we should try finding an inn for a night? It looks like no one is looking for us and the weather is dreadful".
One look and Lan Zhan steers him towards distant lights of a village. Expected but no less heartwarming as this is one of the many pieces of evidence of Lan Zhan’s care for him. The last quarter of shichen they walk towards the lights and Wei Wuxian dreams about a hot bath and meal. They haven’t spent days in the wild, they only started the journey from Cloud Recesses last night, but Wei Wuxian is so tired he might sleep for days or maybe laze in bed with Lan Zhan for days. Now, that is an idea Wei Wuxian likes.
When they reach the village it is completely dark outside. Searching for an inn is easy as it is one of few buildings on the main street that is brightly illuminated when the stalls and shops are closed for the night. Anticipation runs through Wei Wuxian’s veins as they near the door and Lan Zhan puts a hand on the small of his back. The inn is small but tidy. The middle-aged man doesn't rush to them from behind the counter, and that is one more thing that tells them no one here knows who they are. They tell the innkeeper they will take their meal upstairs and hurry up. It would be stupid to be recognised like that only because he wanted to sleep in bed instead of the cold rigid ground in some natural shelter like a cave or something and Lan Zhan indulged him as he always does.
They almost reach the second floor when they hear the drunken voice.
"Yiling Laozu is dead! At long last the murderous bastard is dead! More wine for everyone here. We should celebrate the end of that Wei-dog!"
Wei Wuxian feels Lan Zhan tensing beside him. Strangely the innkeeper notices that too and pales looking between them.
"Esteemed guests, you must understand, other patrons..."
"We do, we do," Wei Wuxian waves his hand dismissively under Lan Zhan’s disapproving glare. "But it would be nice if they could be quieter. My husband finds loud noises irritating".
The innkeeper is clearly surprised when Wei Wuxian calls Lan Zhan his husband but quickly regains his composure. He assures them that he will do his utmost to make the people downstairs tone down their celebration. Wei Wuxian understands that the innkeeper doesn’t want to put an end to people spending their money on drinks in the main room but he doesn’t also want to risk creating a certain reputation for himself not knowing who the two travellers might tell about his inn. Lan Zhan is free in demonstrating his displeasure but follows Wei Wuxian to their room for the night. Innkeeper disappears hurriedly after promising to bring their dinner and bath right away. He tries to offer them some wine and promptly shuts up when Lan Zhan refuses almost rudely.
When they finally are left alone Wei Wuxian slides to the floor and exhales loudly. Lan Zhan is at his side in the blink of an eye. He is angry, so angry Wei Wuxian would’ve been scared if he didn’t know Lan Zhan would never hurt him. Still he can't understand the hot fury reflecting in Lan Zhan’s pretty eyes. Lan Zhan kneels on the floor and touches the side of his face. Wei Wuxian leans into that caress wishing for more. The weight of the last few days crashes down on him and he reaches and throws his arms around Lan Zhan’s frame. An ugly sob leaves his throat as he peppers Lan Zhan’s face with kisses. It’s been almost a whole day and night since they both woke up in Lan ancestral hall but only now the situation catches up to him. They are both alive and well and relatively safe, and that is all that matters for now.
"You are alive," he whispers, kissing Lan Zhan’s lips. "You are alive".
Lan Zhan is horribly tense in his arms. The harsh knock forces Wei Wuxian to let him go even though he wishes he could just keep Lan Zhan in his arms for eternity. Two men come in hauling a tub and then buckets of water. They are annoyed and shoot dirty looks at Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan all the time as they are filling the tub. The innkeeper comes next with the tray of food and more apologies for the rowdy celebration downstairs. Wei Wuxian waves him off. For a moment he thinks about what the innkeeper would say if he knew that the very same Yiling Laozu is resting in one of his rooms while they toast down there for his demise. He chuckles in amusement but stops upon seeing Lan Zhan's clenched fists.
"What is the matter, Lan Zhan?" he asks, shifting closer again after the door behind the innkeeper finally shuts.
Lan Zhan's expression is open and vulnerable, so much anger, so much hatred, Wei Wuxian is suddenly afraid. Not of Lan Zhan, for Lan Zhan.
"They are celebrating your death. Those people in the main room, those scum".
"Hush, Lan Zhan. Let them. I am alive and it is what really matters".
Lan Zhan looks at him incredulously and shakes his head. He told Wei Wuxian once that he never understood Wei Wuxian's self-esteem and related problems. Wei Wuxian argued those were not problems until Wen Qing pointed out that he always puts others above his own well-being, which is fine for Wei Wuxian, it's what a cultivator should do, and is ready to sacrifice himself thinking he is expendable. He is not for the people who care for him, Wen Qing explained with uncharacteristic patience. And it is unhealthy to let people harm him in any way. Wei Wuxian let her plant doubt in his mind and that's alright. He will think about that later.
For now he is going to ignore those fools downstairs. Not because he thinks he is unworthy, but because he doesn't want to risk being discovered. They should stay away as much as possible lest someone will recognise one of them. So he pulls Lan Zhan into his arms and covers those full lips with his. Lan Zhan gives up easily, hands sliding up to undo his hair, lips parting to let his tongue in. There is a bath waiting for them and Wei Wuxian reminds Lan Zhan about that while leaving wet kisses on the side of his jaw. Each time they are together like this Lan Zhan gets better and better at making him lose his breath in a matter of moments.
They are too distracted by each other to pay attention to the noise from the main room soon. Their robes are left in a mess on the floor and Wei Wuxian tugs Lan Zhan with him towards the tub. They are careful to not splash too much water but the tub is small and they barely fit and the water is lukewarm at best. Still they quickly help each other wash the road dust off, never stopping their kisses and touches. Wei Wuxian adores how Lan Zhan's skin feels under his palms, hot and wet, smooth and kissable.
They stumble out of the bath and right onto the bed not even half of an incense stick later, only bothering to dry each other carelessly because Lan Zhan opposed sleeping in a damp bed. Wei Wuxian frankly doesn't mind anything as long as he is with Lan Zhan. But then moments later his back hits the mattress and Lan Zhan straddles his thighs, determined and slightly flustered, and Wei Wuxian is secretly glad he gets to be comfortable for this.
"I want you to watch," Lan Zhan says not looking in his eyes because he is not thick-faced enough to say things like that without feeling embarrassed. Yet.
"With pleasure," Wei Wuxian replies, petting the inner side of Lan Zhan's thigh. Lan Zhan sucks a sharp breath in but quickly regains some semblance of control.
"No touching yet".
Wei Wuxian thinks he will comply for now. Lan Zhan actually takes initiative and voices his desires without prompting. It is important enough to keep his hands to himself for now.
He wonders where Lan Zhan got a small bottle of oil manely to distract himself from thinking about what he will see soon enough. He will not come on the spot from just thinking about what Lan Zhan is going to do. Then Lan Zhan rises a little, settles in a better position and his oiled fingers slip past his balls and to the entrance. Wei Wuxian holds his breath.
The sight is even more erotic than he ever dared to imagine. Lan Zhan pleasures himself impatiently, fingers moving inside in long efficient strokes. He doesn't pause a tiniest bit before adding another finger and only gasps lightly stretching himself farther. Wei Wuxian looks at long fingers disappearing in a tight reddened hole and clenches the sheets, too tempted to finally touch. Then Lan Zhan moans around his fingers and throws head back in pleasure and Wei Wuxian decides he will just apologize later.
He grips Lan Zhan's thighs and flips them over. Lan Zhan lands on the mattress with a thud and groans loudly. Somehow neither of them ends up howling in pain after his stunt, not that Wei Wuxian has time or desire to think about that. What he really wants is to be free to make his husband moan and squirm under him right now. His palms move up to stroke Lan Zhan's sides, his lips finding their way to Lan Zhan's ear. He was really fascinated when he found out that Lan Zhan has sensitive ears.
His arousal spikes when he grinds his hips and has Lan Zhan arching onto him in response. Wei Wuxian is greedy for this freedom, for these reactions to his actions. If he could he would spend days like this in bed together taking each other apart and then simply enjoying the sense of belonging between them. Maybe when they are finally home.
That thought makes him even harder, if that is possible still, and Lan Zhan whimpers when Wei Wuxian rolls his hips harder. They both shudder when they hear that sound. Then someone curses in the hall and they hear bangs on the wall.
The talismans. They completely forgot about the talismans. Wei Wuxian wants to get up and quickly do the work but Lan Zhan stops him. He finds himself held in place by strong legs, a heel digging into his ass. Lan Zhan shakes his head and sends a talisman towards the door, the one Wei Wuxian is sure is not meant for muffling sounds from their room. Well, if Lan Zhan wants to merely shut their door and continue, who is he to oppose? After all, everyone knows Wei Wuxian is shameless.
Not that shameless really but he is too hard now to think about someone hearing them. Lan Zhan lets out a needy whine when he strokes his stomach lightly and Wei Wuxian loses all that remains of his self-control. He parts Lan Zhan's legs almost roughly and only half remembers to slick his cock with oil before sliding inside in one motion.
"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan whimpers. It would be unintelligible if Wei Wuxian didn't know what he likes to repeat his name again and again in the throes of passion.
Wei Wuxian stops to give them both a moment or two and caresses Lan Zhan's tense stomach. Lan Zhan makes another broken sound and tightens around his cock.
"Yes, Lan Zhan, just like that," Wei Wuxian encourages, starting to move.
His thrusts are long and powerful and Lan Zhan moans a little louder each time his cock slides in. Wei Wuxian remembers to pay attention not only to his own pleasure even if it is overwhelming. He kisses Lan Zhan's face avoiding his lips because he doesn't want to muffle the glorious sounds of Lan Zhan's need for him and presses on sensitive spots to the point of having Lan Zhan screaming.
This is madness. Someone bangs on their door. Lan Zhan catches his frantic gaze and moans obscenely like he wants whoever is behind that damned door to hear.
"More. Please, more".
This is what makes Wei Wuxian snap and he is coming with a groan and a series of growled profanities not stopping for a moment. Lan Zhan is hard and accepting under him, sobbing in pleasure and alive. They both are alive.
Wei Wuxian is not sure if he blacked out for some time or just didn't realise it passing. He lifts his head to look at Lan Zhan and sees his face red and tearful. Wetness between their bodies where Lan Zhan's cock is still half-hard tells him Lan Zhan reached his peak too but that is only slightly relieving. He lifts his hand to brush the tears off and whispers.
"I'm sorry".
"Don't be," Lan Zhan answers immediately, blushes and avoids his gaze. "Those were good tears".
Wei Wuxian catches implications easily and the thought sends a wave of arousal through his veins. His cock stits where it is still buried deep in Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian tries to get up and pull out but Lan Zhan doesn't let him. There are arms around him locking onto his back and Lan Zhan, flustered and beautiful, tells him:
"I asked for more".
Wei Wuxian chokes on nothing and moves to kiss Lan Zhan. When they break for air he feels himself already getting harder and whispers suggestively:
"Give me a couple of moments and then we will think of something".
***
In the morning they check out of the inn and all the staff won't look at them without blushing. Lan Zhan somehow manages to keep a straight face and even glares at the innkeeper while Wei Wuxian pays for the services and a silver piece extra while talking.
"Ah, sorry, were we too loud?" the innkeeper clearly wants to answer but Wei Wuxian doesn't let him. He winks and smiles. "You can say we had a sort of celebration of our own yesterday".
With that the innkeeper can only take the money and wish them a good journey with a fake smile.
They are not tempted to stay in inns after this incident. Next three days of travel they alternate between walking through less populated areas dispatching of yao or ghost on their way and flying the sword because they both want to finally rest without fear of being caught. It never disappeared completely. Wei Wuxian feels he can breathe deeper and laugh freely only when they set foot in Yiling. He never liked the town, not really, it became a symbol of his suffering. And Wei Wuxian did suffer a lot. He admits that now after long hours spent with Wen Qing and Wen Ning talking through life experiences. He understands that no life situations can be compared and no one can measure human suffering. His experiences are important, they are what molded him into a person he is now. And Wen Qing says he needs to work a lot on his self-awareness.
Wei Wuxian thinks he might try to do just that now.
It is way past the start of wu shi, maybe even closer to wei shi, when they reach the base of the mountain. The barriers greet Wei Wuxian with the familiarity of home and he can't help but smile. He never thought he would find another home after they lost Lotus Pier. Sometimes he even asks himself if Lotus Pier really was a home he desired so much during his time on the streets. But he banishes these thoughts not wanting to be ungrateful. Jiang-shushu gave him a roof above his head, hot meals whenever he wished to eat and a chance to cultivate, Wei Wuxian can't disparage those attempts in giving him, a brat from the streets, a better life. He had a good life in Lotus Pier.
Halfway up the mountain, right before their last protective array, a warm weight collides with Wei Wuxian. Little hands grab his legs tightly and when he looks down he is not surprised to see a-Yuan's grinning face. The toothless smile he is met with is so bright, almost like another sun but much closer. Wei Wuxian knows he will do anything if it means this child can smile forever. So he reaches down and lifts a-Yuan in his arms, covers his little face in kisses making him squeal with laughter.
"Was my little radish good for gugu and shushu when I was gone?" he asks. Lan Zhan watches them with a fond expression on his face and when Wei Wuxian catches his gaze the smile on his face grows wider.
"A-Yuan a boy, not a radish," a-Yuan protests loudly but still laughing.
"Of course, a-Yuan is a boy," Lan Zhan's deep voice agrees right next to Wei Wuxian. Then an arm wounds around Wei Wuxian's waist and his back touches a warm chest. "Your Xian-gege only jokes".
"Xian-gege," a-Yuan whines and hugs him tighter. Wei Wuxian's heart beats a little bit faster. Then a-Yuan turns to look at Lan Zhan and asks sweetly. "Rich-gege came for long time?"
"Rich-gege came forever," Lan Zhan solemnly promises and tentatively ruffles a-Yuan's hair.
They make the rest of the way past the barrier and to the rapidly growing village together, a-Yuan babbling about uncles building homes and Granny and aunties setting gardens and future vegetable patches. A familiar female figure waits for them at the edge of the path, her light green robes flowing on the breeze. When they are close enough she says:
"Finally. I was wondering if you both are actually dead".
There is no bite in her words, only exhaustion and relief. Wei Wuxian smiles at her.
"We're home, Wen Qing".
She allows herself a small smile in return, still guarded all the time just as she learnt being close to Wen Ruohan, before she ushers them to eat. Not radishes this time, she promises. Wei Wuxian feels warm and safe. They all have been through a lot but they survived and they can build a new home here. A home where people will be happy, cherished and safe. Where they will be loved. Because Wei Wuxian learnt one thing recently. Love is not about deserving or being worthy, it is about wanting to have and willing to give.