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It had all started that Sunday, with Jackie and Donna hanging out in Donna's room eating pasta and listening to Dolly Parton's newest album.
Donna shoveled in another forkful of mac and cheese, to the other girl's barely-hidden disgust. "No, I'm serious, Jackie. In 'Jolene' the narrator spends all this time describing how wonderful and beautiful this lady is, but almost no time talking about her own boyfriend."
"So?" Jackie shrugged. "Maybe he's just really boring. Or really poor."
"Yeah, but you think she'd have something nice to sing about him....So maybe the narrator's secretly crushing on her too."
What? Jackie thought to herself. That's ridiculous. She's obviously just super jealous of her looks. It's just jealousy. That's all. It's just like me and how I can't stop thinking about that homewrecker --
BAM. Speak of the devil herself. "What's going on, freaks?" Laurie kicked open the door in her very tall and shiny red boots.
"Laurie, how did you even get into my house?"
"The guys are out in the street doing some weird wrestling contest or something. It looked stupid so I came in here to see what the girls were up to."
Jackie crossed her arms. "I'd scoot over to let you lie on the bed with us, but I wouldn't want all that padding in your shirt to pop out."
"Hmmm." Laurie just gave that sly, too-sweet little smirk of hers. "I'll be fine, after all, yours hasn't moved an inch."
"Okay!" Donna hopped out of bed and turned off the music. "I'll just leave you two here so you can maul each others' faces off in peace." She closed the door hard on her way out.
Laurie sat down on the bed. Jackie slid away an inch. "Why are you even here. It's obviously to torture me some more about you and Michael, but why?"
"Actually...." she sighed. "I won't be running back to him any time soon."
Jackie couldn't keep her heart from jolting....because Micheal was safe from her now. That was why. "O-oh?"
"Yep. I mean he's great for a roll in the grass --"
"Or for rolling up some grass," Jackie cracked. But still...Why are you joking at a time like this?? She's talking about how great of a lay your ex --
"Ha! That was pretty good. But anyway. There's no depth to it any more, you know? I want someone to talk to, and to know that they truly care about what I'm going through."
"Well, he is pretty bad at feelings stuff."
"Exactly! And ages ago, when we went up to Vanstock together...it was so easy doing 'girl talk' with you about school and jobs and the future and everything. All any of my past boyfriends or girlfriends wanted to talk about was which hotel we were meeting up at that night," she spat.
"So....you want to be friends? With me?'
"No." Laurie shook her head. "What I'm saying is that maybe I was breaking up the wrong end of the happy couple."
"But -- but you --" Jackie sputtered. "This has to be a joke, right? I'm a adult woman now, Laurie, I know a humiliation plot when I see one."
Laurie smacked her head with one perfectly filed hand. "Oh my God, get over yourself!"
"You first!"
"No, you listen to me, dumbass. I really like you, because I think you're witty and funny and have great hair."
Jackie crossed her arms, trying not to let them shake. "Prove it."
She blinked, her mascara-ed lashes curving up towards the ceiling. "'Prove it,' Jackie? You mean like...?"
"Yes, as in hit me with your best flirting moves." Jackie moved the pasta plates to the floor. "Any day now."
"Well....alright. But just tell me if you want me to stop."
"I will," she nodded.
"Okay, so..." Laurie scooted closer to Jackie, until she was practically in the shorter girl's lap. "How's this to start off?"
"I'm still okay, but --" She flinched as the blonde started playing with her hair, running her fingers through it, running knuckles around her face.... "U-um. Laurie, is this --?"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No! It's just...just different than what I'm usually used to, that's all."
"Hmmm, that's funny." Laurie leaned in, a breath away from the other girl's lips. "It worked every time for Kelso."
"Don't." Jackie shoved her hands into thick blonde waves. "I am so sick of hearing about that cheating bastard." She crashed their mouths together into a searing kiss, one that went on and on and on....
Maybe Donna's theory was right after all.