Chapter Text
Later that day, Shigaraki called in a reunion, apparently (Y/N) gave him a bunch of useful information but he was still a little skeptical about it. I met him and Kurogiri in small room we would use for this kind of meeting.
“So, what’s the problem?” I asked as I walked in, sitting on the first available chair.
“Looks too good to be true, could be a trap, remember Bakugo?”
“Makes sense... What do you want to do?”
“I need you to check on some of the info, there are things here that are too valuable to give off on a bluff, take Toga with you if you deem necessary, but honestly... I don’t think you will need.” He spun a notebook around, tuning the screen to face me. I scrolled through the document, noticing spreadsheets, charts, detailed instructions and even some scribbles of blueprints, just after a while I realized the document had more than two hundred pages.
“She gave you all that just today?!” I was in disbelief.
“From the top of her head...” I just kept looking at the screen, going further and further in the document.
Definitely too good to be true...
“I made a resume of the things you need to know and check, since you are so fucking lazy.” He sent the archive to my cellphone.
“Tell someone else to do this, if I’m so lazy.” Shiggy took a deep breath before answering.
“Just keep me updated.”
“Sure thing.” I left, ready to hit the first destination depicted by the document.
This evening is going to be long...
Between running, hiding, setting things on fire and calling Shiggy, I lost track of time, it was already late when I gave him the last needed report. I made my way back to the base slowly, I was too tired to be reckless so I took the safest route. Once I finally got home, everything was silent, all the lights were off, except for one lampshade by the bar.
I noticed a poorly illuminated figure sitting on one of the stools, head resting against the table and only angry murmurs coming from it. As I got closer, I could pinpoint that it was (Y/N), she was dressed in a shirt that ended at the middle of her tights, the sleeves were folded to her elbows and her hair was a mess, giving her a very different vibe from the stuck-up look.
“Fucking... asshole, I hate him...” Her voice was slurred as she talked, the empty bottles of alcohol on the table made it make sense.
“I don’t drink” my ass...
“(Y/N)?” My voice made her look up, surprised eyes meet mine but her expression quickly went calm again.
“Oh! It’s you, hi Dabi, what’s up?” She smiled, tilting her head to the side.
“I’m fine, you on the other hand...” I took the half full bottle away from her “What happened?”
“Nothing much, I was just kidnaped, killed by my co-worker, forgotten by the world and joined a villain organization, everyday stuff you know?” She tried to reach for the bottle, but I slapped her hand away, the girl gave out an unpleased snarl before her eyes lost focus, looking somewhere far behind me “I’m so fucking pissed off, that’s all.” Her tone turned nonchalant, not angry, just tired, very tired.
“Tell me about it.” I took a sip from the bottle; couldn’t believe she drank all that on her own.
“What is there to tell you about? It is what it is, you saw it! I was ok with all the rest... All of the bullshit... Corporate bullshit... But then he had to go all “I’m going to take her place hoho” and leave me to... to... to potentially die, you know?”
“I know.”
I think she’s talking about the dude making the speech today...
“Suishiro is an asshole, a piece of shit, a....” She stopped to think for a second, probably looking for another insult. I kept drinking while she was brainstorming. “He’s... He’s just so ugly! His features are all in the wrong places! You saw him, you know what I’m talking about!”
“I did.” I had to hold my laughter at her comment, it was like she was personally offended by the arrangement of his face.
“I wish I could pop a bullet between his eyes, fucking weird ass looking eyes...” (Y/N) was looking down, her voice was quiet and sounded more like a thought rather than something she actually meant to say, her eyes drifted away again, staring deep at the table.
“What’s stopping you?” She focused her attention back to me.
“What?”
“What’s stopping you, (Y/N)?” I couldn’t hold my smile, that was honest, that was her own mind talking. It made me very excited to imagine her unlashing her anger at that guy the same way she did to the television earlier. My hands reached for a vacant stool, putting it closer to her and sitting, still facing (Y/N).
“What do you mean?” There was caution on her voice.
“Exactly what I said,” I poured a little bit on her cup, she was already drunk, one more sip couldn’t hurt “Don’t play dumb with me, I know you understood, what is keeping you from, as you said, popping a bullet between his eyes? Do you know where he lives?”
“Yes.” She didn’t stop watching me.
“So...?” I raised an eyebrow.
“No.” She looked away.
“Why?” Her face was still turned away from me, as her way of avoiding eye contact. I held her jaw with my free hand, making her look at me. “Why not (Y/N)? Don’t you want to kill him?”
She spent a few seconds in silence, staring into my eyes in a way that was almost too deep, breathing slowly with her lips apart, my thumb ever so close to her mouth, hand holding her face in place like she would just fall if I didn't.
How many times have I held this girl like this already?
My sight went down her neck, part of her shoulders was exposed by the, way too big, collar of the shirt, the thin and light material of the piece denounced that she was not wearing lingerie, at least not in the top half. The cut was too large for her, still, the way the cloth was falling on her sitting figure did the same work as if it was skin tight.
“I do.” Her voice made me snap back into reality, I must have started to use force while holding her face because her cheeks were squished. The sight was too good to stop.
“And don’t you think he deserves to be killed?” I don’t know when I started to get closer, but I could already feel her hot breath against my mouth.
“I... do...” I took her talking for me to smell the alcohol in her breath.
She’s fucking drunk, stupid...
“Then maybe we should get rid of him one of these days” I raised my bottle to her, she slowly took her glass and hit it slightly against it. After drinking, her lips raised in an ironic smile.
“If only I had the balls to do that... That’s only lip service.”
That’s weird, you sounded very determinated...
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t do shit, Dabi. I’m fucking useless.” She rested her forehead against her hands, supporting her elbows on the table.
“As far as I know, you did a pretty good job on whatever Shiggy told you to do.”
“With a quirk like mine that’s the least I can do.”
I opened my mouth to answer her, but decided that maybe it was too early for this kind of discussion. Besides, she was very drunk and I didn’t think we could go far with it. I opted to go with the simpler route.
“I think you’re full of bullshit, that’s it.” It took her a while to answer
“Now that’s what they call aggressive positivity huh?” (Y/N) gave me a side eyed look, moving her resting point from forehead to chin and holding a little smirk on the corner of her lips.
We busted out on quiet laughs, once these died out there was comfortable silence. I finished my drink and started taking the empty bottles out of the way. (Y/N) was following me with her eyes, her expression had nothing of analytic, no engines spinning or complicated thoughts behind it, just some... longing.
“What?” I stopped next to her after throwing away the trash, supporting a hand on the counter. She spun around in the stool, staying front to front with me.
“I’m just trying to figure out where do I know you from.”
“What??” My tone was more confused now.
“Sometimes” She stood up, body inches away from mine “I get the feeling that I know these eyes from somewhere else.... But yours always seem much more welcoming.”
“What are you talking about, (Y/N)?” I put my hands around her waist, part of me wanted to get the fuck out of there instantly, but the way she said “welcoming” sent shivers all over my body.
“I’m not sure... My head feels weird.” I believe she was trying to take a step forward, or sideways, and tripped on her own feet, or just completely lost her balance while standing up, because she fell against my chest, making me hold her tighter.
Fuck shit no...
“I’m sorry, I think I drank too much” She got back to her feet, holding onto the counter for some balance. “I’m never doing that again...”
My hands refused to leave her body; she didn’t seem bothered by that, or just didn't notice; thoughts I shouldn’t be having started running around my mind: about the nothing she was wearing under the shirt, about holding her face completely at my merci, about the quivering sounds she made while crying...
Shit! Shit!
“I need to go to bed.” She lost a bit of her stance the moment I let go of her, my words sounded too harsh, too annoyed, and I was fucking sure she would pick up on that.
“Dabi I’m sorry, I... I should have listened to Kurogiri.”
“It’s ok, it’s not about you.”
It’s about my dick getting hard for every stupidity that you do...
“Good night...” I turned around to leave before my mind could trick me into staying.
“Hey...” And there was the trick, that apologetical tone of hers, that way she talks when she’s on the verge of tears “Don’t go... I don’t wanna be alone again.” She started shrinking into herself again, face down, guilty eyes.
Oh hell no.
I walked back to her, one hand at her shoulders and the other on her face, making her look at me.
“Listen” Part of me wanted to slap her face for messing with my head, the other wanted to bend her over the counter and fuck her right there, but the two parts could agree that doing both was by far the best option “I’m taking you to your room, you are going to fucking sleep, and never drink again on your life, you hear me?” She nodded, worry written on her face “No, I’m not angry, but if I hear you apologizing again, I’ll be, ok?”
“Ok...” She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, while I was trying to make sense of the thousands of urges going through my mind. I let go of her face, as if I had to spend a single more second looking at it, I would end up fucking her mouth. The hand that was on her should slid down to her wrist, bringing her along with hopes that I could offer enough stability to keep her from falling.
Once she was sitting on her bed, I made motion to leave but she held onto my coat.
“I know it’s weird, and you are tired... But can’t you stay? I’m so done with everything already, I don’t wanna deal with it again.” She said in an embarrassed tone.
“Deal with what?”
“Being alone... The room gets too big and I hate it.... Don’t you ever feel it?”
[…]
The first years after I run away from home were a nightmare, especially right after the incident, that day specifically kept giving me actual nightmares... I don’t know how I managed to move after I had my body burned, I just now I couldn’t feel my jaw. I walked for a long time before the pain actually started to kick in, my arms felt terrible, but my face was definitely the worst, I figured that since nothing was bleeding, I was ok, little did I know about cauterization...
Lots of miles in the forest went by before I found a stream of water, I instantly noticed my dry mouth and went in to drink. When I was washing my face, it was weird, like something was missing....
The left side of my jaw was missing, completely gone... The tissue around it was burned to a crisp to the point I couldn’t feel my fingers or the splashes of water against it.
I panicked, everything started hurting tremendously at the same time, my arms, my eyes, my fucking jaw... I tried to scream for help but I could barely open my mouth, just enough to sip the water. My body collapsed at the margin, hitting the grass with a loud thud.
I stood there for hours, I wanted to cry because of the pain, but it only made it hurt more, the only thing I could do was hope for someone to show up, even my dad, at that point even the shame of facing my dad was bearable if it meant getting a second of relief.
“Help...” My voice was nothing more than a whisper, I believe that my vocal cords were affected somehow in the burning, still, I kept going, calling for no one to hear.
It was late night when I accepted that nobody would come, not even my dad, even less my dad . I was completely alone...The woods felt too big... The world felt too big, like I was thousands of miles away from anyone that could help...
[…]
“Yeah... I do.” I was taken by a feeling of loneliness.
Screw fucking her, I just don’t wanna leave...
“So...?” She moved to the side, giving me space on the teeny single bed.
“Just remember this was your idea.” I threw my coat on the floor and lay down next to her, kicking the covers away and staring at the ceiling while she made herself comfortable.
Just leave before she wakes up...
“Thank you Dabi... Good night.”
“Yeah... Good night.”
I was glad it didn’t take her a minute to fall asleep, the alcohol was doing its work. I started to question whether or not it had affected me too, considering the situation I was in. It was ridiculous, embarrassing and extremely comfortable, warming, weird...
To avoid the shit ton of stuff going around my mind I decided to focus on something else, the room was almost pitch black and completely silent, except for (Y/N)’s breathing sounds. I noticed that she was in a deep sleep, lying on her side and facing me, totally calm and unbothered.
“How can you look so peaceful right now huh?” I slipped an arm behind her neck and she snuggled in closer. I felt her face against my chest, I felt my heart beat getting faster, I felt like wanting to cry... I couldn’t remember the last time I was this close to someone. “Sober you would never.”
Yeah... Tomorrow is going to be awkward..... That’s a problem for tomorrow me...
I brought her head closer to me, smelling her hair and completely losing myself in it. It didn’t take me long to also fall asleep, the tiredness of working the whole day finally kicking in. I had quite a peaceful night but still woke up every time (Y/N) moved in the bed, probably as a holdover from having to be always completely alert, even in my sleep. In one of those times, I noticed that it was already early morning, the sun illuminated the wall opposite to the window, casting shadows on her body as she was still deep in her dreams. I removed one of her arms from resting on top of me and got up, grabbing my coat from the floor and leaving.
I had some interesting ideas for the day...
[...]
My head was dizzy when I woke up, the feeling was much worse than Compress’ quirk, and my stomach also felt weird. I was laying on my tummy, one arm outstretched to the empty side of the bad. There was an oddly warm sensation coming from that place, I – on the other hand – was feeling quite cold since the morning breeze was hitting me directly. I got up and started looking for my covers, only to find them all scattered around the floor.
Now, that’s weird...
I took one last glance at the bed before starting to tide it, my mind just couldn’t let go of some strange feeling while thinking about the night before, I began recalling the events of that late night but, even with the help of my quirk, all the memories I had ended when I was drinking by myself.
I don’t even remember coming to my bed...
I panicked, my quirk never failed me, aside from my childhood when I barely knew how to control it, there was never a moment that I was unable to remember something I wanted to.
Well... It can’t be that bad... I’m in my room, I'm alive, I’m unharmed... There’s nothing I could have done that would possibly fuck me up.
Before I could spiral around my thoughts even more, I heard gentle knocks on the door.
“(Y/N)?” It was Dabi’s voice. “You up?”
“Yes, just gimme a sec” I quickly put on a pair of pants before running to open the door, imagining that he was there to deliver the message that I had done something terrible last night “What happened?” The distress in my voice was impossible to hide.
“Nothing?.... Why?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Hm... Nothing” I started picking on the shirt’s seams. “So... Do you need something?”
“Actually, I have something for you.” He made motion to get in and I gave him space, closing the door behind him “Remember what you told me last night?” A mischievous smile took place on his lips, giving me shivers, both from not knowing what he was talking about and from finding the curvature of his mismatched lips kind of seductive.
“...No.” I averted his gaze.
“What?” Dabi sounded confused.
“I don’t remember.... Anything from last night. I didn’t even know I was with you.” My face was burning with shame from having to assume such thing. His expression went from the smile, to surprised and then pissed off.
“Isn’t your quirk literally remembering things? How can you not remember?” His voice didn’t sound very pleased.
“I don’t know I never got drunk. Maybe it affects my quirk?” In my mind I was not only looking for an explanation for forgetting the entirety of yesterday’s night, but also wondering what could we have talked about that Dabi was so angry about me not remembering.
“Oh don’t pull that on me, you were very conscious last night!”
“Well, I don’t remember!” My voice raised an octave “So you either tell me what you came here to tell or fuck off!” I pointed at the door.
Shit!
Shit! Shit! SHIT!
My own words hit my ears, I realized I had just told him to “fuck off”.
I fucked up...
The emotions from the past days, as much as I tried to keep them down and process one thing at a time, there was too many things and not enough time. I imagined that throwing a coffee mug at a television and betraying the heroes was enough of an explosion, but apparently, I wanted to die too.
Dabi had a dark aurea around him, if I had any doubts about him being mad, now I didn’t. His shoulders slopped and he started taking steps in my direction.
“What did you say?” I expected him to scream, but lowering his voice was much more intimidating.
“I’m sorry I-” I started taking steps back, until my back was against the wall.
“I asked you, what the fuck did you just say?” I could already feel the heat from his body, and yet he gave no signs of stopping.
“I told you...” I took a deep breath “To either tell me what you came here to tell or...” Everything started spinning in my mind, all that happened ever since day one. If I learned one thing by being kidnapped by the League is that I had nothing to lose, no family, no friends, no lover... All that I had was a monotone and boring life, all my money couldn’t buy me fun, all my work couldn’t find me love.
So what if Dabi decides to end me here? I’ve seen reports about how he kills people, it’s quick, bet I wouldn’t suffer too much...
“Or fuck off.” Courage came from nowhere, at the same time I was shaking in fear but feeling like I could beat the shit out of him, nothing made sense, it was just a boost of adrenaline. My gaze met his turquoise orbs, that were glowing like blue fire itself, those eyes had a mix of anger, surprise, contempt, excitement... For a few seconds we just stood there in our little staring contest, I was praying in my mind that this new found confidence would last for long enough for him to decide to kill me or not. If I was going to die, I was going to die with pride.
“I think I’ve been too nice with you” He closed the gap between our bodies, pressing me against the wall just enough for me to feel it in my back. I made an effort to keep my head up, to not show my anxiety, but he probably noticed it by how fast my heart was beating. I felt his breathing in my neck as his face got closer to mine, unsure of what to do, I just kept staring at the opposite wall “Maybe yesterday I should have bent you over the counter and fucked you like I wanted to” He whispered in my ear, hot air sending shivers over my entire body, my mind pictured the scene he described, the worst part was that I didn’t hate it, his left hand found mine, squeezing it slightly before making its way up my arm. “Maybe you would remember that.”
My entire body felt hot, from him, from embarrassment, from the thoughts in my head.
He’s gotta be kidding...
What happened last night?
What stopped him?
My heart was on its way to leave my body when I catched the only thought that made sense from the bunch.
“What stopped you?” Curiosity got the best of me, if I was as bad as I imagine I was, I couldn’t have done much to stop him, I couldn’t do much even sober. He backed off a little, looking at me like the answer was obvious.
“Drunk people can’t consent” The snorted sarcastically “I’m many things, but not a rapist.” I sort of felt bad for assuming he would have done that, but it was surprising to find out that the guy who carbonized a bunch of people around the city had a moral compass. He took a deep breath and let go of me completely, running a hand through his hair before looking at me again “Moving on, that’s what I wanted to give you.” He quickly grabbed something metallic from his coat and threw in my direction, as a reflex, I grabbed it, only to find out it was a gun.