Chapter Text
A few years ago I was working back to back jobs and trying to play gigs between them. I was a fry cook, a waitress, a tutor, a housekeeper, all at different times all while I knew I was a musician. I played little cafes and coffee houses, dark seedy clubs, open mic nights, and anywhere they would take me and have me.
I played my soul out each time too. I never half assed a performance ever and I would dare someone to say I did. I could have been sick, running on no sleep, and having to go to work in an hour, and I would still play the best set that anyone would ever see. But even still, people won’t notice you. You can be the only voice in a room and still no one will pay attention to you. I don’t play for that reason though, not at all. If I’m not playing because I love it I might as well not play anything at all.
I started to play on the street when I could, earning chump change and trying to sell a couple of my CDs when I could. I started making vlogs and posting my songs and covers on the internet. It helped book me a few gigs and I did get some good feedback, but still, like everywhere else the audience was small.
Then one day I got an email or someone covering one of my original songs. He was playing the drums and it sounded really really good with his singing. He asked if we could jam together sometime. He linked me to his own channel and to my shock I discovered it was Peri Gilmantok, the drummer and songwriter for the band Saturn. He was an idol of mine for his songwriting capabilities and someone I had studied quite closely.
We had long conversations, talking about music and anything in between. He came to a few of my gigs and we started hanging out more. He was quiet and collected, constantly observing things with a keen eye. After all, he had eight eyes, he could observe everything and anything.
We started playing together and combined our channel into one. Peri took me under his wing, wanting to advance my career as well as reconnect with something he had been missing for ages. He works with other indie artists and contributes a lot to several music festivals and band battles. It’s shocking to me that he no longer performs live anymore. Someone of his talent and skill, as well as his notoriety, could play anywhere if only he tried.
“I’ve done all that,” Peri scoffs. “Ages of it.”
I laugh. “Saturn was only together for what? Seven years?”
“Longer than most.” Peri rolls his eyes. “How long have you and I been together?” He asks me as he stands up. He moves from behind the counter and over to his drum kit.
“Three years,” I anwer. “Barely half.”
“I’ve done more work with you than I ever got to do with Saturn.” He sneers while his says this, his mouth curling back and showing off his sharp teeth. He looks up at me. “I’ve done better work with you. Made things I am actually proud of.”
“But wouldn’t you like the money again?” I wink.
Peri tosses a cloth at me and I smack it out of the air. “Don’t start sounding like Nyx now.”
Ah yes, the much contentious topic of Nyx. He had been an add-on that executives introduced to Saturn to make them more mainstream and accessible, as well as to bring in more horny young women. Nyx was made the front man, replacing Arlo and overshadowing much of the other band member’s talents in favor of marketability, merchandising, and sex appeal. It never quite clicked with me, then again, sex appeal was never anything I ever understood before. I listened to Saturn to be inspired, not turned on.
It was Nyx that caused Peri to leave the band and soon after the rest of the members followed suit. Poor Arlo had tried to hold the pieces together, but he failed miserably. After having met Arlo a few times with Peri, it’s obvious he blames himself and has receded further into the back of the shadows than Peri has.
Peri continues to write and perform music, but he does so for smaller attention and acclaim. His focus is far from the spotlight like it used to be in his younger days. Back when he and Arlo first formed Saturn is was just the two of them with Peri on the keyboard and Arlo singing. Once they were in college they were joined by Gibbs, which allowed Peri to play the drums, and Pope and Desi joined played the bass and guitar respectively. Nyx was shoved in as a forced frontman, taking over vocals and forcing Arlo as backup and second guitar.
Peri rarely spoke about Nyx, in fact he kept his resentment and issues bottled up. He ignored Nyx’s existence to the point if he ever appeared on TV or radio Peri would switch off the offending device and walk away. I wanted him to talk about it, but I could never get him to open up about the issues that lie under the surface.
Then, one day, I came home from work to find Peri sitting by himself with a tomb and gloom expression upon his face.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” I ask as I set my gear down.
Peri huffs. “Nothing. How was work?”
“I found a dead rat but my face doesn’t look like yours.” I walk up and sit down beside him. “Come on, tell me, what’s going on with you?”
Peri huffs and pushes his phone at me. Opening it open I read through his text conversation with Arlo. The messages are sporadic and Peri’s answers are clipped and glib, but Arlo is articulate and passionate in his desire.
I set his phone down and remain quiet for a moment. I know Peri won’t start the conversation so I turn to him and place my hand over one of his. “You never said yes or no,” I start off. “But, babe, do you want Saturn to reunite?”
Peri huffs and he rises, his big furry slips passed the table and chairs as he goes into the kitchen. He opens the fridge and pulls out the leftovers from the night before.
“Let me make you something to eat.” He avoids the question.
“That’s not what I said.” I follow him into the kitchen. “Arlo made a very good point. Saturn wouldn’t exist, and won’t exist again, without you. Everything it was was because of your music. Just because Nyx-”
Peri slams down the cooking sheet and his shoulders arch up around his neck. “Of course I want to play with Saturn again.” He turns around and looks at me as tears start to form in his eyes. “But I can’t possibly face that asshole again!”
I sigh and slouch back. “Oh thank goodness.”
“Thank goodness?” Peri snaps. “For what? What could possibly be so good?”
I smile softly up at him. “I knew you missed it.”
Peri slouches. “Of course I do. Saturn was everything to me. Even if it wasn’t my best work it was...it was something your know? I got to work with my best friends in the world every day.” Peri then flinches. “Not that I don’t enjoy working with you too babe! But-”
“It’s different,” I laugh. “No worries.” I then lean towards him. “Are you really going to let Nyx of all people stop you from doing all that again?”
Peri crosses his arms against his chest, gripping his shoulders tight as he does. He casts his eyes down to the ground and kicks at a dust bunny with one of his feet. “I had to watch Arlo break when they brought in Nyx. I had to watch my best friend in the entire world suffer and smile and agree to do it. I had to listen to Nyx butcher my songs.” He grimaces and closes his eyes tight while his expression becomes strained and tight. “It’s not worth all that pain again.”
“Arlo seemed eager,” I offer gently.
Peri scoffs. “That’s Arlo! Always eager, always happy to help, always there.” He cuts himself off and sighs. “Stupid lummox.”
“He loves you too.” I step over to Peri and put my arms around him. Her wraps his four arms around me and sighs, resting his cheek to my hair.
“I have you now,” Peri murmurs. “I have the creative equal to my desires.” He rubs my back and chuckles. “I love the work I make with you.”
“I love it too. But there are millions of fans out there who would love to see Saturn again. Hell, I would love to see you again.” I brace my palm flat against my chest. “I never could afford seeing your concerts before. But maybe now I can.”
Peri smirks down at me. “You’d be backstage and you’d know.”
I grin at him. “I would hope I would get the best seat.” I kiss his cheek. “But what I am trying to say is, that maybe, for your own good, you should try Saturn again. You’re all grown up and different people now. Maybe you could actually get along with Nyx and see what happens. It will do you so good to air out all these old grievances and get over them together.”
Peri sighs and pulls me back in, kissing the top of my head as he rubs my back. “I hate that you’re right.”
“I know, babe.” I give him an extra tight squeeze. “I only say it because sometimes I worry. I don’t want you to regret these things in the end.”
Peri huffs and releases me. “All because some girl group did a cover,” he grumbles.
“The Imaginary Girls did a good job too.” I say with a grin. “You should be thanking them. Because of them your sales have gone up and we can actually afford to renovate the sound booth.”
Peri kisses my cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Die probably.” I fix his collar and smooth out his sweater. “Not many Driders out an about these days.”
“It’s too damp out,” Peri pouts. He follows me as I go back into the music room and I pick up my guitar. “Arlo wants to talk in person at some point.”
“Oh cool, I can hang out with Penny. I haven’t seen her and Bibi in ages.” I say as I sit down and start to strum a bit.
Peri frowns. “He kept mentioning Penny a lot too. Did you notice that.”
I roll my eyes. “God so much!” I huff. “Look, I know the two of us aren’t exactly the most sexual couple in the world, but if those two don’t fuck I’m gonna make them.”
Peri and I both consider each other asexual. Not to say we haven’t done anything together sexually, it just takes us a lot to get to that point. We’re still romantic and a couple in every sense of the word. We just get a kick out of the horrible sexual tension between Penny and Arlo. The two are obviously in love, have been forever, and they keep ignoring and tip-toeing around it like idiots. Even Penny’s daughter Bibi knows better than they do.
I sigh. “Also, if they two of them don’t hook up I have to buy Bibi a car and I can’t afford that.”
“I’m glad you at least see it.” Peri leans in the doorway, watching me as I strum my guitar. He sighs softly and closes his eyes. Taking a deep breath I can tell he’s weighing all his options. By the time he’s let his breath out, he’ll have come to his conclusion.
“I think I’ll meet with Arlo,” he says.
“Good,” I grin up at him.
Peri smirks at me and adjusts his glasses. “You don’t mind having a rock star as a partner, do you?”
“I don’t mind now, do I?” I smirk up at him.
I’m not able to go with Peri to meet Arlo like I had hoped. I had to go into work that day to cover for one of my coworkers. I didn’t have to bust my butt like I used to, but I still enjoyed working and earning my own way even if Peri could take care of of both of us. I was working at a small music studio where I would teach music classes to kids.
During my lunch break I gave Peri a call, half expecting him to sound angry and exasperated.
“How’s it all going?” I asked him.
“Penny and Arlo finally hooked up.” He says triumphantly.
“Oh good,” I sigh and slouch in my seat. “How’d you find out?”
“It’s wrotten all over their faces like kids who snuck and ate all the pudding.” He chuckles and I hear a door closing behind him. “How’s work?”
“Fine. And not why I called,” I scoff. “How did the talk with Arlo go?”
“We’re meeting with the others soon.”
I gasp. “That’s so great! Pope and Gibbs and Desi? All of them?”
“Yeah.” Peri sounds hesitant.
“Oh,” I murmur. “Nyx too?”
“I suggested it,” Peri answers slowly.
“Oh fuck.”
“Oh fuck indeed. Listen, I know it’s a bit of a drive, but do you mind coming out tonight after work? I’m going to need you.”
My heart melts a little bit. “Yeah,” I reply. “I can come over. Just as long as we don’t have to hear Arlo and Penny going at it.”
“No worries. Arlo is giving us his place and he’ll stay at Penny’s I’m sure. We’ll probably just have to deal with Bibi wanting to stay with us.”
“I can handle that.” I grin. “I’ll see if I can trot off early since I covered today. I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
“Thanks Bea, I love you.”
I grin like an idiot school girl every time he says it. “I love you too, Peri.”
I’m not able to get off as soon as I like, but it’s still earlier than my usual hours. I go home and get Peri’s other car and drive off towards Arlo’s to meet him. By the time I get there I can hear music from the back and a loud uproar of laughter.
I walk around back to the gate, letting myself in to find the entirety of Saturn in Arlo’s backyard. Yes, even Nyx is there.
“Holy fuck,” I whisper.
“Bea! You made it!” Penny rushes up and wraps me up in one of her big hugs. She’s smells like charcoal and lighter fluid.
“What’s going on?” I ask, admiring seeing Saturn all in one place for the first time ever.
“I kicked then out of the restaurant when Peri and Nyx started fighting.” I turn to her in a flash and she instantly dissuades my rage and worry. “I stopped them! Arlo and the others too!” She squeaks. “I kicked them out so Arlo brought them over her. I got a call before I got off work from Arlo asking me to bring home steaks to grill. I found this.” She motions to the six of them laughing their asses off and drinking beer.
“I never thought I would see Peri standing near Nyx ever again. Willingly anyways.” I wave and catch Peri’s attention.
“You made it!” He rushes up, grabbing me and spinning me around. “Come on, I want you to meet everyone.”
“I have!” I yelp as he drags me over to the band.
I have met everyone, well, except for Nyx that is and he was someone I thought I would never meet considering Peri’s attitude towards him. I had met the other ages ago, but it’s been a long time.
“I often wondered what sort of creature Peri would end up with. You’re quite the surprise,” Nyx says with a sultry smile. “I expected a puppy at most. Never expected him to wind up with such a lovely woman.”
“Not every has a libido, you know?” I scoff. “Is that so alien to you?”
Nyx shrugs. “It once was. Back when I first Peri.” A sly smile then spreads across his face. “I’ll admit. Much of my animosity towards your partner was because I couldn’t swoon him like I could the others.” He points a finger at Peri. “I had quite the crush on him in the beginning.”
“Wait, what?” Peri balks.
“Oh yeah!” Nyx laughs. “I hated you because I couldn’t figure out how to seduce you.”
“All these years?” Arlo scoffs. “Because of an unrequited crush?”
Nyx drinks a little more beer. “You know what? I think that’s all it really was.”
Everyone throws their heads back laughing. I even chortle a bit but I go over to Peri and squeeze his hands. I’m not sure what he’ll take from this in the morning, I just know it must be a bit of a shock that all this bad blood between them was because of a simple misunderstanding of sexuality.
After a while Penny and I manage to get all the guys into bed, or at least somewhere they can sleep. I take Peri to the guest bedroom and tuck him in.
“I like you better,” he grumbles, half asleep, half drunk, and completely in twilight.
“I know you do, babe.” I pet his cheek.
“Nyx doesn’t compare.” He blinks blearily at me. “I’d rather have you than...than a thousand blowjobs! You know?”
“Babe,” I put my finger over his lips. “You can tell me all this in the morning. For now, I really need you to lie down and sleep for me, ok?”
He bites the tip of my fingers and kisses my wrist. “No. You’re gonna-” he hiccups. “You’re really gonna liss-liss-listen to me!” He pulls me down in bed beside him. “I know I’m a crazy spider monster, and you’re some Bea Arthur clone.”
“Babe,” I grumblr.
“But we go together so well! An incubus and drider don’t ain’t make any no matches.”
I roll my eyes but snuggle to him as he rambles on. He keeps going and going, slowly fading out like the end of a song. I fall asleep in his arms, snuggled to his warm, fuzzy chest.
In the morning, I wake up to find him trying to bury his head under my hair and avoid the sunlight coming through the windows.
“Did you sleep well?” I chuckle.
“I’m not sure if it was sleep or if I was just brain dead.” He finds his pillow and tucks it around his head.
I get up and close the curtains, making sure it was shaded in the bedroom. “Well, if anything, it looks like Saturn is set to go on tour again. You all looked like you were having fun.”
“I wish we hadn't,” he huffs. “Wish I had just hit Nyx and that be the end of it.”
“You talked, that’s a good thing.” I lay back down beside him in bed. I take hold of his hand and kiss his palm. “You stay here, I’ll go downstairs and see if Penny has any coffee ready.”
Peri peeks out from under his pillow. “No. Stay here.” He tugs me closer and pulls me under his pillow with him. “I wanna enjoy this again before the world wakes up.”
“I got’cha,” I put my arm around him.
After a few moments of silence I speak up again. “Do you remember anything from last night?”
“I remember Nyx confessing he always wanted to bang me back in the day.” He huffs and opens his eyes a peek. “Oh god was that real?”
“Afraid so.” I kiss his palm again. “He didn’t understand what asexual was back then so it made him all made he couldn't woo you.” I giggle.
“Not funny,” he grumps. “God that’s so embarrassing.”
“How so?” I roll over onto my side.
Peri sticks his tongue out. “All that resentment and anger was all because of a little sex? Now I know for sure I don’t care for it.”
There’s a soft knock at the door and I can smell coffee. “It’s open.”
Penny pops in. “Coffee delivery.” She says, bringing in two mugs. “You don’t have to get up, But I thought this would help a little bit.”
“Thank you.” I take both and Penny quietly goes on her way out the door.
Peri sits up to take his mug and sighs. “It’s all so weird. Thinking that all of us are together again and we can do this. Nyx even said he’s got us a spot to play at this award show coming up.”
“Already?” I gasp. “That’s amazing!”
Peri frowns. “It’s been too long. What if we can’t even play together anymore?”
I take hold of his hand and squeeze it tight. “You all found a way to be together last night. You’ll all be able to play together again. You’re there, they’ll have to.”
Peri chuckles. “I’ll need you, you know?” He leans in and kisses my forehead. “Will you be there for me?”
I smile and nod. “Of course. I’ll always stay beside you.”