Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Eh? You like A-Li’s older brother?!”

“Ssh, Mingjue, are you planning to expose me to the whole school?!”

It’s currently lunch break and the classroom is pretty much empty, except for the two friends who have stayed behind. Nie Mingjue is sitting backwards on his chair, so that he can face Lan Huan, who's currently facepalming as he sits behind his desk. Their classmates are all either at the cafeteria, getting lunch, or playing basketball at the court in the center of their school.

Nie Mingjue was already confused when Lan Huan, his best friend, told him to stay behind during lunch break. Not only that, Lan Huan even said to him that he had something important to talk about.

Now that he’s heard what that important thing is, he’s even more shocked. Jiang Yanli is one of their classmates. Her older brother, Jiang Cheng, is their math teacher. That’s why, Nie Mingjue is understandably baffled. He can maybe understand if Jiang Cheng is a senior of theirs, a fellow student, but a teacher? Really, who would’ve guessed that Lan Huan, his best friend, an honor student, is in love with his own teacher?

“Sorry, sorry, I just-” Nie Mingjue struggles to speak as he tries to calm himself down. “Wow, I just- didn’t expect this from you, A-Huan.”

Sighing as he looks out the window towards the students playing at the courtyard, Lan Huan says, “It’s rather scandalous, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, I mean, Jiang Laoshi? Our math teacher? Really?”

Honestly, Nie Mingjue is still having a hard time believing this. Of all people in their huge school of hundreds of students, why would Lan Huan fall in love with Jiang Cheng, their sometimes fine, sometimes terrifying math teacher?

Lan Huan looks towards him and he has this melancholic look on his face that Nie Mingjue has never quite seen before. “Don’t you think he’s attractive?”

Nie Mingjue tries to picture in his head what Jiang Cheng looks like. Their teacher is still fairly young, maybe five years older than them at most. He did start teaching as a fresh graduate, so it only makes sense. Nie Mingjue remembers that the school was struggling to find a good teacher at that time and they were really lacking staff members, so apparently that’s why such a young person managed to get the job.

Jiang Cheng is quite tall, but as kids like Nie Mingjue and Lan Huan grew over the years, they’ve become pretty much equal in height. Another notable thing about the teacher is the way he always ties his hair up neatly in a bun. Nobody has ever seen him without it, so it’s unclear how long his hair actually is, but the style does suit him well. He wears glasses too sometimes, usually when he’s teaching. And Nie Mingjue remembers that Jiang Cheng also has this violet shirt that he likes to wear a lot.

Now, does Nie Mingjue think that he’s attractive?

He’d probably be lying if he said that Jiang Cheng isn’t a handsome man. The teacher always looks composed and his sharp features are similar to ones you would see on an actor or a celebrity. His posture is always impeccable, even when he looks like he’s tired from pulling an all-nighter. Jiang Cheng doesn’t smile much, if at all, but he’s not always angry at his students. When he’s in a good mood, he has this graceful air to him in whatever he does. When he’s mad, however, he is nothing short of terrifying.

“Um, yes, to some extent, but-” Nie Mingjue finally says after a few moments of consideration. “Isn’t he scary when gets mad? Aren’t you scared of him at all?”

Lan Huan looks towards the ceiling, pondering the question. “When he’s mad…yes, a little bit, but I think he’s actually quite kind.”

As he mentions the word ‘kind’, the edges of Lan Huan’s lips curve up to form a soft smile. Maybe Nie Mingjue can believe that his friend is in love after all. He knows Lan Huan is a kind, warm-hearted person, but there is a slight difference in how he smiles to anyone and how he smiles to people he really cares about, like his closest friends or his older brother.

For that reason, Nie Mingjue can’t help but to mirror his expression. How is he supposed to not be happy when his best friend is? “I guess since you’re such a good student, he never has a reason to get mad at you anyway, huh?”

Lan Huan’s smile only gets wider as he hears that. Then Nie Mingjue asks, “How long have you liked him for?”

“I think…I think I’ve always liked him, but I only really realized and accepted it maybe- a few months ago?”

“So you’ve liked him since grade ten, but realized at the beginning of grade twelve?”

“More or less.”

Nie Mingjue laughs at that. It feels ridiculous to know that his closest friend has been crushing on a teacher for two years and he has somehow never realized it. Though he supposes that the person himself didn’t realize it either until a while ago, so maybe he’s not such a bad friend. In retrospect, it’s no wonder that Lan Huan has never even bat an eye at all of his admirers.

“You’re really something else, A-Huan.”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, a light tint of pink forms on Lan Huan’s cheeks. “I didn’t want to admit it too at first, but the more I try to deny it, the more obvious it becomes.”

He then continues, “You know, he was talking to me yesterday about our classmate’s grades and how he wants me to try and help them out, but I was so focused on his face that I just- I kind of tuned out what he was saying…”

Nie Mingjue laughs again, harder this time. How did the ever so composed Lan Huan become like this?

“Oh, you’ve got it bad, huh?”

Lan Huan sighs, but nods anyway. The melancholic look returns on his face as he looks down towards his desk, saying, “I don’t think I have a chance with him though. He’s too much of a responsible adult to ever even consider dating one of his students.”

“Ah, he certainly seems that way,” Nie Mingjue replies, realizing that there’s no way that he can deny that. Personally, he doesn’t particularly like or dislike Jiang Cheng, but he knows that the teacher is undoubtedly a very responsible person. He’s probably one of, if not the most competent teachers in their school anyway.

“But hey, there’s no use in denying your feelings, is there?” he says, trying to cheer Lan Huan up with his light tone. “Even if it’s unrequited, I think you should still at least accept it. That way, you’ll be able to move on.”

“Mingjue…” Lan Huan looks up to him with glistening eyes. Nie Mingjue thought that he was going to say something really sweet about their friendship, but instead he hears, “You’ve really become wiser after breaking up with Wen Qing.”

Feeling his cheeks heat up, Nie Mingjue groans, “Oh, fuck off.”

Lan Huan chuckles, asking, “How are things going with her by the way? Any chance that she’ll get back together with you?”

“Hey, don’t change the topic. We’re still not done with you and Jiang Laoshi,” Nie Mingjue quickly interjects, not wanting to talk about his own failed love life.

With a gentle, but sad smile on his face, Lan Huan mutters, “What more is there to say? We’ll be graduating soon and both Jiang Laoshi and I will move on with our lives. Isn’t there all there is to it?”

The voices of the kids yelling outside slip into the almost-empty classroom and Nie Mingjue gets this sudden sense of deja-vu. He’s not sure why exactly, maybe it’s because they’ll be leaving this place soon. For good. It does make him feel a bit sad, to think that there will always be things left behind here, in this school. Frustration, regrets, happy moments, highschool crushes, and everything else that makes a highschool experience just that.

For a moment, the classroom is quiet, neither of them speaking.

Nie Mingjue sighs. Highschool romance really is something, huh? Not even someone like Lan Huan can escape the qualms of it.

“You don’t want to tell him?” Nie Mingjue asks hesitantly.

To be honest, he’s not sure if it’s a good idea or not to tell the teacher, but speaking from experience, it can be hard to move on when you have things left unsaid. And for Lan Huan, who Nie Mingjue has never seen so infatuated with someone before, it must be the same case.

“Tell him? Won’t he just be weirded out?” Lan Huan asks back, his eyebrows knitting together. “I mean, getting confessed to by a student is already weird enough, but getting confessed to by a guy on top of that? Jiang Laoshi might end up hating me…”

“I don’t think he’s homophobic,” Nie Mingjue supplies. “I mean, you can clearly tell that Wei Laoshi, who’s pretty much his best friend, is anything but straight.”

“Sure, but that’s different.”

“How so?”

When Lan Huan doesn’t answer, Nie Mingjue looks him in the eye and says, as serious as he’s ever been, “Will you really not regret it if you never tell him?”

“...I don’t know. Seeing him happy and well has always been enough for me, but I-” Lan Huan’s gaze strays towards the teacher’s desk, where Jiang Cheng would usually be sitting during math class, going through the materials and their work with a concentrated expression. He remembers how he would come up to Jiang Cheng, to confirm his doubts about a particular concept, how Jiang Cheng’s expression would soften up a bit, how he’d explain it clearly and patiently.

Sure, Jiang Cheng can be scary when he gets mad, terrifying even, but when you really work hard in his class and appreciate his efforts, he really is a kind teacher.

At the thought, Lan Huan takes a deep breath and says, “I guess if the chance comes up, I’ll tell him.”

Nie Mingjue grins. He knows that when Lan Huan says something, when he’s made a resolve and puts his mind to it, there’s nothing he can’t do. “Good luck on that, A-Huan. I’m rooting for you!”

Lan Huan smiles back, though Nie Mingjue can see the fear and doubt on his face. Before he can say anything about it, Lan Huan is already talking again.

“Okay, okay, enough about me, now you tell me again how things are with Wen Qing.”

.

.

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When in their next class, Jiang Cheng makes a promise to reward the students who get a perfect score in their final exams, Nie Mingjue immediately whispers to Lan Huan about how this can be his chance to tell him.

“You can definitely get a perfect score, right A-Huan?” Nie Mingjue asks, practically brimming in excitement. “Let’s make a bet. If you get a perfect score, ask him for some of his time as a reward and properly tell him.”

Lan Huan would argue that he doesn’t even need to get a perfect score to ask for some time to talk to the teacher, but perhaps this is a bit different. Maybe it’s good to take the bet, maybe this way he can really gather the courage to tell Jiang Cheng. Worst case scenario, he’ll never be able to look at Jiang Cheng or talk to him again, so he supposes that he needs a push to do it after all.

That settles it. If he manages to get a perfect score, he’ll confess.

.

.

.

Weeks later after the bet was made, Lan Huan is holding his exam results in his hand, a number of three digits is written with red ink on the top right corner of his answer sheet.

He did it. He got a perfect score.

“Congratulations to those of you who got the perfect score.” Jiang Cheng’s loud voice brings him back to the present. When Lan Huan looks up towards the front of the class, he finds his math teacher rummaging through his bag, trying to find something. He then pulls out a small plastic bag, filled with some indiscernible items. “As I promised, here are my gifts.”

In the whole class, only five students have managed to get that perfect score, but the rest of the students are just as curious about the gift.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jiang Cheng scolds them. “I’m not going to be held responsible if you guys are disappointed, alright?”

The students all nod, but they’re still looking at their teacher expectantly. Jiang Cheng finally pulls out one of the items, which turns out to be a keychain. Usually, something like this wouldn’t be so exciting for a class full of highschoolers, but upon recognizing the shape of the pendant, many of the students' eyes glimmer in wonder.

“What?! Isn’t that exclusive merchandise from that popular show?!”

The pendant is shaped like a sword, the ones you would see in a lot of Xianxia and Wuxia dramas, but it isn’t just any sword. Many can recognize that it’s the famous weapon that the main character of a currently airing, super popular Donghua and drama series carries. Considering that it’s a new and ongoing franchise, not many merchandise of it has come out yet, despite the popular demand. Even if there are some, most of them are sold out immediately.

That keychain- for fans of the series- is seriously something else. The intricate details, the design, the color, it’s really something worthy of being a collector’s item.

“Exactly,” Jiang Cheng says with a rather pleased expression. “It’s really popular right now, isn’t it? I thought you guys would like it.”

“That’s so cool, Jiang Laoshi! How did you get that?” A student, obviously a fan of the franchise, chimes in.

“Oh, I have a friend,” the teacher replies nonchalantly. Then, he addresses the five students who are about to receive that coveted prize, “Now, I know that not all of you are interested in this franchise, but I hope you like it anyway. As it is, it looks pretty cool, right?”

Considering how the students are chatting excitedly amongst themselves, most of them certainly agree.

“Woah, I’m so envious of you A-Huan!” Nie Mingjue says, looking back from his desk.

Lan Huan knows that his friend adores this particular drama like nothing else, despite never being a fan of these kinds of dramas before. To be honest, though Lan Huan enjoys it too, it’s not something he likes so much that he wants to collect exclusive merchandise of it, so he considers giving the prize to Nie Mingjue.

But then, a thought crosses his mind; the keychain does look pretty cool and most importantly, it’s the first item that he’s ever going to receive from Jiang Cheng, so maybe he can’t give it away so easily after all.

A few rows behind him, he hears one of his classmates talk to one of the other students who managed to get a perfect score, Wen Qing. “A-Qing, you don’t care for things like these, do you? So would you maybe-”

“No,” he hears Wen Qing interject swiftly. “I’m giving it to my older brother. He likes things like these.”

Lan Huan wonders if his quiet older brother, his Zhan-ge, would like something like this too. Well, even if he does, Lan Huan has already made up his mind anyway. He’s not giving that keychain away to anyone.

“Alright, alright, those of you who got a perfect score can come here and pick a keychain. I have a few different ones from different characters,” Jiang Cheng tells them and the class immediately begins to quiet down. They know better than to speak over their teacher. “After this, we’ll be reviewing the test questions to see where most of you got it wrong. And then, we’ll be doing some practice for the university entrance test, okay?”

“Yes, Laoshi,” the students reply in unison.

As Lan Huan stands up to get his reward, he keeps telling himself in his head, Today, I will do it for sure. I’ll thank him for the gift and tell him how I feel.

Unsurprisingly, math class passed by like a breeze for Lan Huan. He doesn’t even know how many questions he’s finished doing. He’s been constantly solving one question after another in an attempt to try to distract himself from his own nervousness. Nie Mingjue, who is trying his best to keep up with his friend, has given up now, simply doing the exercise at his own pace.

The bell rings and the students begin to tidy their stuff. Jiang Cheng tells them to finish the exercise paper he’s given them as homework and that they’ll talk over it at the next meeting. As the students begin to leave one by one, the class becomes emptier and emptier, until Nie Mingjue, Lan Huan, and Jiang Cheng are the only three people left. The teacher is still tidying up his papers, meanwhile Lan Huan and Nie Mingjue have been talking, buying time, waiting until the whole class is empty.

When the coast is clear, Nie Mingjue quickly takes it upon himself to leave, muttering, “Okay, now’s your time, A-Huan. Good luck!”

Lan Huan gives him a firm nod, trying not to show how nervous he actually is.

Although his hands are shaking and his palms feel sweaty, he gathers enough courage to walk towards the teacher’s desk. He stops right in front of it, clears his throat, and says, “Jiang Laoshi, can I talk to you for a moment?”

“Yes? What is it?” Jiang Cheng asks, looking up from the now clear desk. “Do you have any questions about the exercise?”

“No, it’s not that,” Lan Huan replies, but after that, his words all get caught up in his throat. He knows more or less what he wants to say, but even after all the practice he’s done, he still doesn’t know how to say it when the real person is right in front of him.

Recognizing the uneasy look on his student’s face, Jiang Cheng thinks that he knows what this is about. “Ah, I’m sorry if you didn't like the gift, Lan Huan. I needed to prepare for it beforehand, so it can’t be something too personalized.”

This is the best guess that the teacher has. Lan Huan doesn’t seem like the type to be into those kinds of series, but Jiang Cheng figured that a student like him would aim for and get a perfect score with or without the incentive of a reward anyway. That’s why he decided to pick a gift that most highschoolers would like.

Seeing that Lan Huan is still not uttering a word, Jiang Cheng adds jokingly, “You can even sell it if you want, I’m sure it’ll be pretty pricey since it’s an exclusive. And then, you can buy whatever you want instead.”

“No, it’s not like that, I-“ Lan Huan finally manages to say.

“Hm? What is it then, Lan Huan? Is something wrong?”

Jiang Cheng is beginning to sound more and more concerned. This kind of behaviour… It really is unlike the Lan Huan he usually knows. Truth be told, the teacher has a soft spot for this particular student of his, since Lan Huan always pays attention, does the work, and gets really good scores. What more can he ask from a student?

For that reason, Jiang Cheng really is especially worried about him.

“I- Can I have another gift?”

After those words slip out of his mouth, Lan Huan really has to hold back from running away. That was definitely not what he meant to say, it really wasn’t. But at the same time, being so direct and immediately confessing his feelings feels weird too, doesn’t it? Lan Huan's heartbeat keeps rising and rising in his chest as he waits for the teacher to reply.

“Huh? Another gift?”

Jiang Cheng is nothing short of confused. What is Lan Huan really implying here?

Meanwhile, Lan Huan is internally cringing at himself, but he pushes on. “For- uh, graduation, I guess.”

Despite how taken aback he is, Jiang Cheng still nods anyway. He’s not sure where exactly this is going, but he supposes that he can play along for now. “I see. What kind of gift would you like?”

This really isn’t like Lan Huan, Jiang Cheng thinks to himself, maybe he really hated the gift after all.

“After I graduate, I-” Lan Huan starts, but then just as quickly stops himself. Closing his eyes and taking a deep, long breath, he continues, “would you- would you go on a date with me, Jiang Laoshi?”

Jiang Cheng has to blink a couple of times before he can even begin to process what his student is saying.

“Huh?! Excuse me?!”

“I- I’ve been waiting years to tell you this, but I’ve always liked you, Jiang Laoshi. Ever since the first class you had with us, I- I-”

Considering how shaky Lan Huan’s voice is, the first thought that comes to Jiang Cheng’s mind is that this poor student of his must be being forced into this, that he’s being bullied or something, that he’s being made to say something as outrageous as this.

“Lan Huan, is- is anyone making you say this?” Jiang Cheng carefully asks, despite the internal panic that is taking over his entire body right now. “Is this a dare? A prank, maybe?”

“No, no one's making me say this,” Lan Huan replies, shaking his head. “I mean it. I know you’re a good teacher and a sensible adult, so you’d never think of me in that way, but…I just want you to know this, Jiang Laoshi.”

“I like you. I like you a lot,” Lan Huan manages to say, his voice steadier this time, even if his hands seem to be shaking really badly. He then looks at Jiang Cheng, eyes glistening and flickering with too many emotions. “That’s why, won’t you give me this one chance, Jiang Laoshi?”

This- this really is too much for Jiang Cheng. He doesn’t know how to take in the fact that the gentle, friendly, calm, hard-working, smart, and quiet honor student, Lan Huan, is really confessing to him right now. What is he even supposed to feel in this kind of situation? Surprised, definitely, but other than that? Is he supposed to feel honored? Lan Huan really is a good and kind student, but this is still-

Jiang Cheng feels like he’s going to die. What would be the right and responsible thing to say to his student now?

Before he even thinks to answer, Jiang Cheng tries to unravel this all in his head. So Lan Huan likes him. Since his first class, which is around two years ago. After he graduates, he wants Jiang Cheng to go on a date with him as a graduation gift. Okay, he gets it now, more or less. It’s actually quite simple because it really is just a highschooler crushing on someone.

Still, why does that someone have to be him? What does a student like Lan Huan see in him anyway?

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says, slowly, carefully. “Okay, I understand you, but let me ask you this first, Lan Huan.”

“Why? Why do you like me?”

“Eh, I-” It seems like Lan Huan wasn’t expecting a question like that. “I- I can’t really explain it properly, but there’s nothing about you that I dislike, Jiang Laoshi. I think you’re really cool and kind and you-”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” This really isn’t going anywhere, at this rate Jiang Cheng might end up making things worse than it already is.

Lan Huan’s expression falls. He looks guilty now, saying, “I’m sorry, Jiang Laoshi. I know this is very sudden and I- not only am I your student, but I’m also a guy, so- if you want me to stop and just go home, I can- I can do that.”

This situation really is just too awkward. Jiang Cheng doesn’t have the heart to tell Lan Huan to just go home without saying anything further, especially when he looks like he's on the verge of tears like that. This is- seeing the way Lan Huan is- this is probably his first time confessing to someone. And as dread pools in his stomach, Jiang Cheng realizes that he might even be his student’s first love.

Jiang Cheng is of the mindset that heartbreaks are a necessary thing, especially when you’re so young and still learning about the world, so with that logic, he really can just send Lan Huan home and never ever talk about this again. He’s sure that after a while, with the help of his closest friends, Lan Huan will be fine again, but-

Why can’t he bring himself to just say no to Lan Huan? He knows he has no feelings for this kid, but he can’t reject him for some reason. God, what is wrong with him?!

“Jiang Laoshi?”

Lan Huan’s voice brings Jiang Cheng back to the present, with Lan Huan still standing in front of his desk, with Jiang Cheng still sitting on the teacher’s chair, looking up towards the tall student.

“You said, after you graduate?” Jiang Cheng asks, not knowing why exactly he’s even asking.

“Once I graduate, we won’t be teacher and student anymore, so I thought-” Lan Huan is clenching and unclenching his fists in a nervous tick. In his mind, this confession isn’t going well at all. He then adds quietly, “I thought maybe I’ll finally have a chance.”

Ever since he ‘became an adult’, it has become rarer and rarer for Jiang Cheng to see someone speaking so candidly about something like romance. As an adult, you were supposed to be ‘smooth’ or something like that, not open and honest like this. It’s quite refreshing to see this kind of innocence.

“You’re being too honest, Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng can’t help but to say, his expression softening up a bit.

His mind has settled now, the tension in his shoulders slowly going away.

Lan Huan tilts his head slightly to the left. “Is that a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily, but-“ Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath and looks up towards the ceiling, fingers tapping restlessly on the desk. Is he considering this? Is he? Is he really going to say yes to this ludicrous request made by one of his favorite students?

See, he too had a crush on one of his teacher’s once, his history teacher, whose age gap with him is way larger than his and Lan Huan’s. He never told that teacher about his feelings, but now, he wonders how he would’ve liked that situation to turn out. If he asked his teacher to go on a date back then, would he want that teacher to say yes? Well, yes, he supposes, but also, no. Yes in the sense that it would’ve been a crazy and interesting experience, but no in the sense that it could’ve been dangerous too. Looking back, it’s probably for the best that Jiang Cheng didn’t end up dating that teacher (not that he thinks it was even possible anyway).

Okay, Jiang Cheng decides, I’ve made up my mind.

“If it’s after graduation,” Jiang Cheng starts and Lan Huan’s heart starts beating faster and faster to the point that he's worried that it’s seriously going to leap out of his chest, “I guess I can fulfill your wish.”

Lan Huan’s eyes are blown wide open in shock. “W-wait, seriously?”

Seeing that, Jiang Cheng can’t hold back his laughter. “Did you ask this expecting to be rejected?”

Before Jiang Cheng can continue explaining his reasoning and conditions, Lan Huan says again, “Yes…but I- I really mean this, Jiang Laoshi. If you’re not going to take me seriously, I think I’d rather you just say no.”

He looks sad. It seems like he doesn’t think that the teacher is taking him seriously at all if he’s actually said yes.

“Listen,” Jiang Cheng replies in a completely serious tone. “I’m not going to give you false hope, Lan Huan. It’s true that I’ve never thought of you, or any of my students, as anything more than that. And I probably never will.”

Hearing that, Lan Huan’s heart clenches in his rib cage. Ah, I’m not being taken seriously after all, he thinks.

“And honestly, that aside, I still have a lot of things I want to do, so I’m not even really looking for a relationship right now,” Jiang Cheng explains, though he feels weird talking about something like this with one of his students. “Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not taking you and your feelings seriously. You’re the only one who knows how you feel, so I can’t tell or convince you otherwise. That’s why, if you’re so sure that you’re telling me this, I won’t take your feelings lightly, Lan Huan.”

Lan Huan, he- he doesn’t know how to feel about that answer. On one hand, he kind of wants to cry because it definitely feels like he’s being rejected. On the other hand, it does seem like his teacher is being really considerate, that he actually understands how Lan Huan feels right now. So, does Jiang Cheng really mean it about the date? But isn’t he being rejected? It all just doesn’t make sense in Lan Huan’s head.

“I know what highschool crushes are like,” the teacher tells him with a warm and sympathetic smile, one that neither he nor the other students see often. “They can make or break your view on romance, you know?”

“Jiang Laoshi…”

At this point, Lan Huan really is on the verge of crying. There’s so many emotions mixed up in his mind and heart that he wouldn’t even know why he’d be crying. He still tries his best to hold back the tears because he- he doesn’t want to look uncool in front of his teacher, his crush.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng says, still with that soft expression, “as honored as I am to hear this from someone like you, I can’t return your feelings.”

Maybe because he already expected this, Lan Huan doesn’t end up crying. It hurts, god, it really does hurt, and he’s sure that this is written all over his face, but there are things that Lan Huan still needs to understand, so he asks, “Then why would you want to go on the date?”

“Well, rather than a date, let’s just call it ‘hanging out’, okay?” Jiang Cheng replies, his voice light and steady. It calms Lan Huan down, if just a bit.

“I guess what I’m saying is; I want this to end on a good note, since you are one of my favorite students after all,” the teacher continues, hoping that Lan Huan understands where he’s coming from. “But, it’ll just be a one time thing and you shouldn’t expect anything from it, okay? With that in mind, if you still want to go, then sure, I’ll do it.”

Lan Huan realizes that his teacher really is trying his best not to break Lan Huan’s heart that badly, realizes that his teacher does care for him, even if it’s not in a romantic way. Jiang Cheng is giving him this chance, this ‘date’, so that Lan Huan can properly let this all go peacefully once he graduates.

“Jiang Laoshi, I- I-“

“Hm?”

“I do want to go,” Lan Huan says, his dejected expression slowly turning into something more at ease. “So please wait until I graduate, Jiang Laoshi. I’ll make sure to do everything right. I’ll graduate, get into my dream university, and- and I’ll make sure that I deserve this.”

Jiang Cheng lets out a sigh, one of relief. He then looks up to Lan Huan again, saying, “Alright, I’ll be rooting for you, Lan Huan.”

After that, they bid each other goodbye and part ways in front of the classroom, Jiang Cheng heading to his office and Lan Huan to the school gates. Even at that moment, Lan Huan still has a jumble of emotions in his chest. He's still not quite able to process all of them yet, but most of all, he just feels glad.

Glad that he’s able to get his feelings off of his chest, glad that his teacher understands him and doesn’t hate him for what he feels, glad that he’s been given the chance to end this properly soon.

On his way home, he texts Nie Mingjue, who’s been persistently asking about how the confession went anyway.

Lan Huan: I got rejected

Lan Huan: but im still happy

Nie Mingjue: what??

Nie Mingjue: wtf is that supposed to mean

Lan Huan: i still got a date :’)

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.

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“Jiang Laoshi!”

From a distance, Jiang Cheng can already see Lan Huan standing up from one of the park benches. It’s currently Autumn, so the trees around the park are all painted in warm tones of orange and yellow. Time really does fly, the teacher realizes. It feels like it was only yesterday that Lan Huan, this student of his, confessed to him in the classroom. It was still spring at that time, but Jiang Cheng can still recall it well; his own shock, Lan Huan’s shaking hands, the promise they made.

“Oh, you’re already here,” Jiang Cheng says as he finally reaches Lan Huan.

Standing in front of him, Jiang Cheng somehow feels like their height difference has gotten a bit larger. He knows that Lan Huan always was slightly taller than him, but has he really grown more in the past few months?

It’s been quite a while since they’ve last seen each other. The graduation ceremony was a few months ago and though the promise was initially ‘after graduation’, it has become ‘after passing the university entrance exam’, which Lan Huan, being the way that he is, obviously did with no problem.

“Yes.” Lan Huan nods and Jiang Cheng can tell how happy he is just from the tone of his voice. “I didn’t want to make you wait in this weather.”

It is a bit cold that day, so Jiang Cheng can only be grateful. “Thank you for that.”

“I don’t mind at all, Jiang Laoshi.”

Lan Huan is smiling at him so brightly that Jiang Cheng can’t help but to compare him to one of those huge dogs who always look like they’re smiling, like a golden retriever. It’s no secret that most of the students at school consider Lan Huan to be one of, if not the most handsome student in their grade, but to Jiang Cheng, he looks a lot more adorable than handsome right now, hence the comparison. However, Jiang Cheng has to admit that Lan Huan does look really good in casual clothes. In fact, had he not known Lan Huan before this, he might even think that they were the same age because of how tall he is.

(Lan Huan also thinks that Jiang Cheng has never looked better, but he tries not to stare too much.)

They both decide to sit down on that park bench for a while, just to talk and catch up. The two of them last spoke properly at the graduation ceremony and exchanged contacts there, but they haven’t spoken much since, mostly because Lan Huan was occupied with the entrance exams and Jiang Cheng obviously has a job to do.

“Oh, I have to remind you,” Jiang Cheng says in the middle of their conversation about Lan Huan's choice of university. “You don’t have to call me Laoshi. Like you said, since you’ve graduated, we’re not really teacher-student anymore, right?”

Lan Huan seems taken aback. “A-ah, I see.”

“Not only that, people might find it a little weird, you know? For a teacher and a student to be hanging out like this, I mean. Though thanks to your build and physique, they’ll probably just dismiss it,” Jiang Cheng says, being completely honest.

“Then, what- what should I call you?”

“Hm, let’s see,” Jiang Cheng wonders out loud, looking towards the clear sky. He then says casually, “I guess Cheng-gege is fine. Or just gege works too.”

Lan Huan, on the other hand, turns unbelievably red at that.

“O-okay, ge- gege.” He tries not to make it too obvious, but internally, Lan Huan’s heart is exploding within his chest and his stomach is practically filled with butterflies.

He never thought in a million years that he’d ever get to address his teacher so intimately.

Jiang Cheng, who isn’t quite aware of Lan Huan’s internal struggle, asks innocently, “Alright, so what do you have planned for us today?”

See, Jiang Cheng has left it to Lan Huan to plan their activities for that day. It’s supposed to be some sort of a graduation gift for him anyway, so Jiang Cheng figures he should let Lan Huan decide. They end up eating lunch at a nice restaurant as they continue to talk about their lives. Jiang Cheng is surprised that he finds it so easy to talk to Lan Huan casually. Of course there’s awkwardness there too, but it’s really not as bad as he thought it would be. After that, they watch a movie together, a pretty good one at that. Even though Lan Huan keeps glancing at him instead of concentrating on the movie, Jiang Cheng doesn't mind. Hours pass and before they know it, they’re already back at the same park, the place where they decided to meet since it's conveniently located close enough to the train station.

They’re walking side by side, enjoying the autumn breeze, with leaves falling all around them.

Jiang Cheng notices that Lan Huan is doing that thing again where he clenches and unclenches his fists. It seems like he’s nervous, so he must be planning to say something.

Just as he suspected, Lan Huan turns towards him and says, “Jiang Laoshi, I- um, no wait, I mean-”

“You don’t have to force yourself to say ‘gege’ if it’s difficult,” Jiang Cheng says, letting out a small laugh. It’s not like he expected Lan Huan to be able to get used to calling him that so quickly.

“Laoshi, I- I don’t want this to be a one time thing,” Lan Huan says and his expression is as serious as ever. His hands are shaking and Jiang Cheng can tell that it’s taking every last drop of his courage to do this. “I want to go on another date with you.”

Lan Huan has stopped walking now and Jiang Cheng is glad that they’re in a rather empty area of the park. It’d be bad if they were to make a scene. Still, it doesn't mean that he doesn't have to deal with this.

“Lan Huan… this is-“

“If you’re going to say that you thought I’d be satisfied by this, that I’ve fulfilled my curiosity, you’re wrong,” Lan Huan cuts him off, sounding sad, but also with a hint of anger and desperation in his voice. “I- I know you gave me this chance to end things peacefully, but I- I-“

I just can’t let you go, is what Lan Huan wants to say, but he doesn’t. He can’t. He doesn’t want to make Jiang Cheng feel guilty and regretful about giving him this date.

Jiang Cheng lets out a sigh. “Hey, I wasn’t going to say that. Didn’t I tell you that I’ve been in your shoes before? I’m not taking your feelings so lightly, Lan Huan, but still, I-”

I already said that it’s just a one time thing, is what Jiang Cheng’s about to say. The last thing he wants is to play with his former student’s feelings. He knows if he keeps indulging him in whatever way, Lan Huan will never really be able to let this highschool crush go.

Usually, Lan Huan would never even imagine cutting his teacher off, but he really really needs to get this off of his chest before he loses his courage.

“I- I don’t care how long I have to wait until the next one. If you think I’m not good or mature enough yet now, then even if it’s after I graduate university or after I get a job, as long as you’ll have another date with me, I’ll wait patiently for that day,” Lan Huan says loud and clear, his will unwavering.

Jiang Cheng is looking at him dead in the eyes and Lan Huan manages to not look away somehow as he continues, “I’ll wait patiently for you, Jiang Laoshi.”

For a moment, neither of them say anything and Lan Huan's heart begins to drop. When Jiang Cheng's expression softens, however, Lan Huan feels like he's just been brought back to live.

“Who taught you to say these kinds of things, A-Huan?” Jiang Cheng asks him, a small laughter escaping his lips. “It feels like you’re proposing to me.”

“I- I- Nobody taught me,” Lan Huan replies, blushing. “I’m just being honest. I’m just- saying what’s on my mind.”

“Well, maybe it’s kind of a shame that you’ve fallen in love with someone like me, because I’m sure if you said something like that to boys and girls your age, they’d be heads over heels for you.”

“And you’re not?”

“I’m charmed, Lan Huan, I really am, but I know for a fact that waiting isn’t as easy as you think it is,” Jiang Cheng answers, his fingers now interlocking together as he tries to figure out the right thing to say next. “And again, I have to be honest with you, I don’t think I can accept or return your feelings right now. My feelings haven’t changed since that day you confessed.”

It seems like Lan Huan already knows this, considering that his expression doesn't change much despite what Jiang Cheng had to say. He still looks determined and Jiang Cheng knows that he has to properly explain himself, so that Lan Huan can understand why this, why they won’t be happening.

“Look, if we go out, I’d just feel guilty for taking these precious, important years of youth, growth, and development from you. I don’t mind being with someone younger than me, I really don’t. Age doesn’t always define how mature someone is, sure, but I’ll feel like a bad person if I let you date me without you having the chance to really find out more about yourself first,” Jiang Cheng explains as best as he can, hoping that his point comes across. “University will be a good time and place to do that, you know?”

“That’s why, I won't promise you anything, Lan Huan, I can’t,” Jiang Cheng continues, feeling a bit guilty for having to reject Lan Huan so harshly. “Maybe you’ll fall in love with someone from your university, maybe I’ll find someone over the years, maybe other unpredictable things will happen along the way, I don’t know.”

Lan Huan nods and his eyes are glistening. It makes Jiang Cheng want to wipe that expression off of his face, but he knows that this is necessary. This is the right thing to do. Lan Huan will grow up and find his own place in the world and Jiang Cheng cares about him enough to not want to hinder that.

His voice is shaking, but Lan Huan manages to say, “I get it, I know you’re just trying to look out for me, Jiang Laoshi, so I can accept that, but-“

Lan Huan’s really afraid, Jiang Cheng can tell, so that’s why he doesn’t expect what he hears next.

“But if we’re both still available, after I graduate from university, can I ask you out on a date again?”

Jiang Cheng closes his eyes, sighing. So he hasn’t given up after all. “Lan Huan, I-“

“Jiang Laoshi, if it doesn’t happen, if you have someone else by then, it’s fine, I’ll accept it.” Lan Huan is dead serious when he says all this and he's really just wearing his heart on his sleeves now. The desperation in his voice is all too clear when he says, “But please, won’t you give me another chance?”

For a while, the world seems to stop moving. The park really is too empty today, so the wind, the rustling of leaves, and the distant voices of people, they all fade all too easily into the background. Lan Huan knows that this will all someday be a memory and perhaps, he can move on with his life without Jiang Cheng.

But he doesn’t want to.

That’s why his heart, already so loud in his chest, starts beating erratically. If he’s rejected here, then he knows that moving on is the only choice he has.

Jiang Cheng opens his mouth and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion.

“Okay,” the teacher finally answers, though he’s not sure if it’s really okay for him to say this. “I’ll consider it, but only after you graduate university, okay? And I’m not promising you anything, so don’t get your hopes up.”

His tone has become colder, sharper now, not because he’s annoyed or irritated by Lan Huan, but because he feels guilty. Really, he kind of hates himself for not being able to be even harsher than this.

“Okay, that’s enough for me,” Lan Huan replies with a smile, though there's a hint of sadness there too. He then looks away from Jiang Cheng and the latter swears that there are tears falling from his eyes. Lan Huan tries to speak again, but it only makes it more obvious that he's tearing up. “If only we were the same age, I-“

Jiang Cheng wants to hug him, he really does. Lan Huan looks like he really needs it, but he’s afraid that it’ll only make Lan Huan’s feelings for him grow even stronger, so he settles for a firm, but comforting grip on his shoulder instead.

“You still need to do some growing up, Lan Huan, but don’t feel bad about it. I’m sure that you’re going to have fun,” Jiang Cheng says, trying to make it sound as reassuring and comforting as he possibly can.

He’s kind of lying, growing up isn’t always all that fun, but he’s sure someone like Lan Huan will manage.

“But I’m already an adult. I’ll even be nineteen in a few months,” Lan Huan protests in a quiet voice and for the first time since Jiang Cheng has known him, he sounds kind of childish.

His physique aside, Lan Huan has always acted more maturely compared to his peers, so this does come as a surprise to Jiang Cheng. Nevertheless, he does understand the younger's frustation. Lan Huan might think that he's already an adult, a grown up, but it really isn't that simple.

Jiang Cheng can’t help but to smile fondly at him, since he realizes now that in some ways, Lan Huan is still a kid after all. “I know, I know, legally, you are, but you don't just turn eighteen and suddenly become an adult. You probably shouldn’t be seeing someone five years your senior during these formative years. I don’t want it to be like I’m trying to make you dependent on me or anything like that. It’s just unhealthy.”

“I...understand,” Lan Huan says, sniffling.

“When we’re on a more equal footing, Lan Huan, I’ll consider going on a date with you again, okay?” Jiang Cheng says as he pats Lan Huan’s shoulder gently. “Until then, let’s both work hard and enjoy our lives.”

Lan Huan nods as he wipes the tears off of his eyes with his long, slender fingers. “...Okay.”

Jiang Cheng’s heart breaks a little when he sees him doing that. He usually isn’t this emotional, he really isn't, but somehow, when it comes to his students, especially this particular one, he becomes softer than he usually is. “Hey, I’m sorry, I know this isn’t easy to hear, but-“

“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Huan suddenly calls out. The way he’s addressing him is enough of a surprise for Jiang Cheng, but on top of that, Lan Huan’s hand is now on his wrists, stopping Jiang Cheng from patting his shoulders. His grip is so tight that for a second, he really thought that Lan Huan was pissed at him, but then their eyes meet and it becomes so utterly clear that he’s anything but mad.

“I promise,” Lan Huan starts. “In four years, if I get to ask you out like this again, I will make you fall in love with me.”

It’s said with such determination and will, that Jiang Cheng can’t help but to smile. “I like your spirit, Lan Huan. I guess I’ll look forward to that day.”

That’s probably a foolish thing to say, but before Jiang Cheng can even add anything or correct himself, it quickly dawns on Lan Huan that he’s addressed Jiang Cheng rather impolitely. “Ah, I accidentally called out your name like that, I’m- I’m so sorry!”

Jiang Cheng laughs, suddenly feeling lighter than he’s ever been in a while. Lan Huan really is such a refreshing person. “It’s fine, it’s fine, but you really should call me gege, you know?”

For the rest of their ‘date’, Lan Huan still struggles to call Jiang Cheng gege. He keeps blushing every time he says it, but by the time they both reach the train station and have to go their separate ways, the last thing Lan Huan says to him is;

“Thank you, gege. I’ll see you in a while.”

.

.

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.

Jiang Cheng is teaching a class today, like most other days. It’s September and he can see the trees in their school grounds are beginning to turn yellow.

The class is quiet since his students are doing a quiz at the moment. That’s why he can afford to relax for a bit and look out the window, glasses neatly folded on his table. In the distance, he hears the voices of the other teachers who are in their respective classes, speaking about whatever subject they’re teaching. Because the quiz will be directly checked in class, Jiang Cheng will have some free time after work today. In the back of his mind, he wonders if he’ll finally get to take a break and do something relaxing, though he doesn’t exactly know what that activity will be.

Suddenly, he hears noises from outside his classroom. It’s not loud per say, more like a group of people whispering, but it’s still loud enough to make his students lose their focus.

For that reason, Jiang Cheng decides to get up from his desk and check what’s going on outside. Depending on the situation, he might even have to tell off the people there. He doesn’t appreciate his quiz being disrupted after all. His students are already expecting him to yell at whoever’s outside the classroom, but when Jiang Cheng opens the door, he finds himself more stunned than anything.

Creeping outside his classroom are a group of former students, alumni from around four years ago. He recognizes their faces more quickly than he thought he would and so Jiang Cheng begins listing their names in his head one by one, each of them popping up somewhat easily.

…, Wen Qing, Nie Mingjue, and… Lan Huan.

All of those memories from years ago suddenly come back to him in a flash. This group of students were good kids, they really were. He remembers them having the highest average score the school’s seen in years, remembers that they were rarely ever disrespectful to him and the other teachers, remembers how active they were in and out of school, but one particular memory stands out in his mind.

Lan Huan, that former student of his, once confessed to him, didn’t he?

Not only that, they even went out on a date of some sorts.

All the exchanged words and promises come back to Jiang Cheng in waves. Now, he- he doesn’t really know how to feel about it anymore. He hasn’t seen or talked to Lan Huan for years after all, so those events were all just stored in the corners of his mind, collecting dust.

Realizing that he has to say something, Jiang Cheng clears his throat and asks, “You- what are all of you doing here?”

Nie Mingjue, who seems to be leading the group, grins, saying, “We were hanging out together for the first time in a while and we thought that we should come visit the school again, Jiang Laoshi.”

The former star athlete of their school, Nie Mingjue, looks older now, with hints of facial hair and a body that has outgrown Jiang Cheng even more. If they were passing each other in the streets, Jiang Cheng probably wouldn’t even recognize him. Seeing how his former students have changed over the years, trying to take it all in, the teacher feels his head spin a bit. This is exactly why he doesn’t like surprises.

Still, the fact that his students are here to meet him, the fact that they still remember him, it makes a feeling of warmth bloom in his chest.

“I see,” he replies with a small smile, not knowing what else to say. “Okay then, you should wait somewhere else. It’ll be lunch break soon and we can meet up near the teacher’s office then.”

“Okay, Jiang Laoshi,” the alumni say in unison.

Ah, it really is nostalgic to see them all together again, Jiang Cheng thinks to himself. He finds that he's still smiling, even as the alumni walk away together, still chatting and whispering, probably reminiscing about all the things they did together back in highschool. Maybe they’re talking about the food in the cafeteria, maybe about the difficult tests, maybe (or most likely) about the teachers. Jiang Cheng doesn’t know, but he’s glad that those kids- no, those adults- made good enough memories here for them to want to come back.

Break time comes and Jiang Cheng finds himself feeling excited to talk to his former students again.

When he reaches the teacher’s office, however, he only finds one person standing there.

“Jiang Laoshi,” the former student greets him in the same gentle voice he always had.

“Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng greets back, the name practically slipping off of his lips, “wow, you’ve…really grown up.”

Jiang Cheng really is impressed. Like Nie Mingjue, it feels like Lan Huan too has outgrown him. Their height difference still isn’t that big, but he just- Lan Huan just looks a lot more like an adult now, though he already kind of did back then. However, this time, it’s not just from his physique, but also from the way he carries himself.

He can’t help but to smile when he remembers the Lan Huan from back then, so Jiang Cheng says, “I already thought you looked kind of like a grown up back then, but now… I can see for sure that you are.”

Lan Huan smiles too. “The others are buying lunch at the cafeteria since they apparently miss the food, but they wanted to go earlier so they don’t meet the current students. They should be back soon.”

Jiang Cheng didn’t realize this earlier, but Lan Huan’s voice has changed too somewhat. It’s deeper and the way he speaks is even more composed than it already was.

“I’ve missed you, Jiang Laoshi,” he says and it’s all too obvious how genuine the words are. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been doing alright,” Jiang Cheng answers, though his tone changes a bit when he talks about the new students. “This new batch of students are a bit rowdy and they’re really getting on my nerves, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. And you? How was university? You studied…data science, didn’t you?”

Lan Huan nods. “I learned a lot. Not just about data science, but also about myself.”

You still need to do some growing up, Lan Huan.

His own words come back to himself and Jiang Cheng really is glad. It seems like Lan Huan has grown up well.

“I see,” Jiang Cheng says, nodding back. “Well? Did you have fun?”

Lan Huan smiles, but there’s another emotion there Jiang Cheng can’t recognize. When Lan Huan speaks, however, it all becomes clear. “I did, but at the same time, having to wait… it wasn’t as fun.”

This guy, he really…has Lan Huan really been waiting to meet him again for all these years?

“Cheng-gege,” Lan Huan calls out. That nickname, their date, it’s all coming back to Jiang Cheng now. He already knows what Lan Huan is about to ask when he says, “are you-“

Are you seeing anyone?

Before Lan Huan can finish the sentence, Jiang Cheng quickly interjects, “Let’s save this conversation for later, yeah?” As he sees the other alumni approaching in the distance, he tells Lan Huan in a quiet voice, “I want to greet everyone else too, but you can meet me after school if you want to talk.”

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.

.

“Excuse me, Cheng-gege, may I come in?” Lan Huan asks politely as he enters Jiang Cheng’s office.

Jiang Cheng, who’s currently standing near a bookshelf, can’t help but to chuckle at that. “Sure. And you’re really comfortable calling me that now, aren’t you?”

“Well, I have been waiting for this moment to come for years,” Lan Huan admits, still as honest as ever somehow. “I’ve had a lot of practice. I almost accidentally called you that in front of everyone, too.”

Hearing that, it makes Jiang Cheng believe that Lan Huan really has been waiting for him all this time. And practice? What does he even mean by that? He can only hope that Lan Huan’s university life wasn’t in any way disrupted by the lingering crush the younger man had on him.

“I didn’t keep you from having fun during your university years, did I?” Jiang Cheng asks in a joking tone, but he really hopes that the answer is no.

“...No, not exactly,” Lan Huan says and for a moment Jiang Cheng feels glad, but he can already sense the ‘but’ coming, “but whatever I tried or did, I- it still didn’t feel right.”

Jiang Cheng truly doesn’t know what to say to that. He just ends up saying, “Well, you guys are young after all, of course the first times won’t be the charm.”

“I guess,” Lan Huan mutters. “People often told me that it was as if I was always looking for something else.”

“Really? You’re making me feel bad now, Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng replies. He’s laughing awkwardly, but he genuinely feels guilty now.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

There it is. The question Lan Huan was about to ask him earlier. Who would’ve thought that the Lan Huan whose hands were shaking back then as he confessed to Jiang Cheng could be so direct and confident now?

“You’re so straightforward now, Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng says, feeling kind of amused.

“Sorry, I just-“ Lan Huan starts and Jiang Cheng quickly realizes that perhaps Lan Huan hasn’t become so confident after all. His hands, they’re shaking, the same way they did all those years ago. “I’ve been anxious about this for the last few days, so-“

Feeling bad about it, Jiang Cheng answers as casually as he can, “No, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”

The teacher swears that at that very moment, Lan Huan’s eyes lit up like there’s fireworks behind them. The younger man looks at Jiang Cheng with bright eyes and asks, “Then, does that mean...?”

“Really?” Jiang Cheng asks and he really has to laugh in disbelief. “After all these years, you still want to go on a date with an old man like me?”

“You’re not an old man, gege,” Lan Huan quickly retorts, “you’re just 5 years older than me.”

“Just?”

“I mean, during university, I met and befriended people who are older than me too.” Lan Huan is explaining this so seriously, it’s like his life depends on it. “Some are even older than you. So honestly, a five year gap doesn’t feel like much anymore.”

“Well, I guess you’re right,” Jiang Cheng ends up admitting. It does feel like age gaps start to blur a bit once you get older. “Seeing you like this, it doesn’t feel like I’m five years older than you. You’ve grown up well, Lan Huan.”

“Yeah?” Lan Huan asks and the way he says it is…let’s just say that it makes Jiang Cheng’s heart skip a beat. “And you’ve only gotten more beautiful, gege.”

The teacher has to blink a couple of times when he hears that. Wow, this is… Jiang Cheng is honestly bewildered. There’s no way that the Lan Huan of four years ago would be able to say something like that without blushing and stuttering. It seems like Lan Huan has learned a lot in these past few years after all.

“Oh, so you’ve even learned how to flirt now?” Jiang Cheng asks playfully, trying to ignore the way his heartbeat spikes up even more.

Lan Huan smiles innocently, but there’s more to it too. “Well you didn’t fall for me back then, so I figured I had to learn some new tactics.”

“Didn’t I say that I was already charmed?”

“And didn’t I say that I’ll make you fall in love with me if I get the chance?” Lan Huan asks back and Jiang Cheng genuinely thinks that Lan Huan has really become too smooth. At the same time, he has also managed to retain that refreshing honesty that’s unique to him somehow. “I don’t want to break that promise, gege, so obviously I’d try to improve myself.”

“You’ve really grown up to be a playboy, haven’t you Lan Huan?” Jiang Cheng says, wondering how many people have fallen for him just from hearing these kinds of words from the charming young man.

Jiang Cheng didn’t want to admit this earlier, but Lan Huan really has become even more handsome.

Just as he’s thinking that, Lan Huan walks closer to him, so much so that they’re face to face with each other now. Jiang Cheng can’t say why, but he suddenly forgets how to breathe.

“You’re wrong,” Lan Huan says and he has an incredibly striking smile on his face. “I’m only like this when I’m with you.”

Look, Jiang Cheng’s heart isn’t made of stone. Hearing something like that, seeing someone like Lan Huan smiling at him, he’s not going to feel nothing. So if his cheeks do heat up, if his face begins to flush, you can hardly blame him, can you?

“Ah, I’ve done it,” Lan Huan thinks out loud, his smile growing even wider somehow.

“Done what?”

Lan Huan, he- he really does look all too pleased with himself. “I made you blush just now.”

“I- I did?” Jiang Cheng replies, acting as if he can’t feel the warmth on his face, as if he's not suddenly feeling bashful under Lan Huan's gaze. “More importantly, you planned to do that?”

“It’s a personal goal I have,” Lan Huan answers, being way too casual about it. “Back then, I was the one who was blushing all the time, so it’s a nice change of pace, right?”

Jiang Cheng has to look away before he can even say anything. “Oh my god, don’t say that so casually.”

“I thought being honest wasn’t such a bad thing? And I- I’m happy to see you like this, gege.”

When their eyes meet again, fond smiles appear on both of their faces. Jiang Cheng, he- he’s not saying that he suddenly has feelings for Lan Huan, that’d be ridiculous. But at the same time, this older, more mature version of Lan Huan standing in front of him really is making him feel things that he hasn’t felt in quite some time.

To put it simply, like this, Jiang Cheng feels like he's being loved in the most genuine, purest kind of way.

“Don’t get too cocky, Lan Huan,” Jiang Cheng makes himself say, though he knows that if he keeps this up, they really won’t be just former student and teacher anymore. They'll inevitably become more than that, but Jiang Cheng finds that maybe he doesn't mind. “I’m not head over heels just yet.”

“I know.” Lan Huan nods, but he doesn’t look sad at all. Maybe it’s because he knows that he’s not being rejected this time. “I hope you will be, though.”

Looking at Lan Huan, it’s just so clear that he means every word he says. There’s no exaggeration there, not even a bit.

“You- you’re still completely serious about this, aren’t you?”

Lan Huan is still smiling, but this time, his expression does turn a bit blue. “Of course, would I hold back from seeing you for four years if I weren’t?”

Jiang Cheng is taken aback. It really has been four years since they’ve seen or talked to each other, so over time, the teacher just began to assume that Lan Huan has moved on, that he’s forgotten about him, and that he’s happy with someone else. He remembers thinking about that and feeling content about it. Though perhaps it’s also a bit bittersweet in the sense that it made him remember that some promises are really just meant to be broken.

So imagine his surprise when it turns out that Lan Huan never intended to break his promises in the first place.

The only reason Lan Huan has held back from meeting or contacting Jiang Cheng for four years is to fulfill Jiang Cheng’s requests. For all those years, he’s kept himself away from Jiang Cheng to do all the things his teacher told him to do back then. To grow up. To find out more about himself. To work hard. To enjoy his life. And Lan Huan, he wanted to become someone more fitting of Jiang Cheng. Lan Huan might've changed over the years, but there's one thing about him that hasn't; he has never stopped yearning for Jiang Cheng, he has never stopped waiting.

When he meets Jiang Cheng again, he wants to make sure that he’s a person who Jiang Cheng would allow himself to love.

And the person in question, Jiang Cheng, he- upon realizing this, he has realized that love can really be this selfless after all.

“I guess you’re right,” Jiang Cheng manages to say, despite the fact that there’s a lump forming in his throat. He’s just never seen, let alone experienced, anything like this before. Lan Huan is here, after all those years, and though he doesn't say it out loud, it's evident that the younger man's feelings haven't changed. The way Lan Huan looks at him, it's like he's saying; I still like you.

“Well, since all the conditions are fulfilled, I guess I do owe you a date." Jiang Cheng is smiling and maybe, just maybe, there are teardrops forming at the corners of his eyes.

Lan Huan mistakes this as something else. Maybe discomfort or guilt or any other negative emotion. “I- I won’t force you if you don’t want to do it.”

It makes it all the more heartbreaking that Lan Huan means those words. He’s waited for four years, but if Jiang Cheng doesn’t want him, he’s still willing to let it go. Lan Huan really is just that selfless. Some people would even say foolish, but Lan Huan doesn’t care. Jiang Cheng’s happiness is something more important than that. It’ll be painful for him, of course, but he can accept that.

“No, it’s-“ Jiang Cheng has to take a deep breath before he continues, “it’s fine. It’s about time I get a break from work and enjoy myself anyway. So, when are we doing this?”

Lan Huan’s lips curve up again and Jiang Cheng suddenly feels really grateful to have met and to have known him. Something about Lan Huan just makes him feel happy, a really simple kind of happy, but a really powerful one too.

“Would now be a good time?”

“Huh? Seriously?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Lan Huan says, “Well, I’m always ready, but if you’re busy then-“

Always ready? Is Lan Huan just willing to leave whatever he’s doing in favor of a date with Jiang Cheng? This guy- he really is too much. Jiang Cheng thinks that, but he actually feels light again, the tension in his body beginning to ease.

“I’m not busy,” Jiang Cheng replies and it comes out gentler than he intended it to. He really just has a soft spot for Lan Huan, doesn't he? “I just have to go get something from the classroom and tidy up a bit. Is that okay?”

Lan Huan’s eyes are shining so brightly that Jiang Cheng feels like he has to look away or he’ll be blinded. Brimming with joy and excitement, Lan Huan says, “Okay, then I’ll be waiting for you in the lobby. I’ll get my car from the parking lot first.”

“Oh? So you even drive now? How cool,” Jiang Cheng replies teasingly.

It dawns on him that he- he really is having fun with Lan Huan. Although it’s been years since they last met, for some reason unbeknownst to him, it just feels easy and natural to talk to him like this.

Laughter spills from Lan Huan’s mouth. He looks a bit embarrassed, but the most prominent expression on his face really is just pure unadulterated happiness. “I’m going to be too happy if you call me cool, you know.”

“That’s good then.” Jiang Cheng smiles and begins to walk, passing Lan Huan and heading towards the office’s door. He glances back and says, “I’ll be going to the classroom now. I shouldn’t be wasting our time.”

“Oh right, me too.” Lan Huan walks towards the door too, following him until he’s standing right behind Jiang Cheng. “Oh and gege-“

“Hm?”

Jiang Cheng makes the mistake of looking back over his shoulders, only to find Lan Huan looking down at him with an incredibly fond expression. He doesn’t want to be too full of himself, but Jiang Cheng has never seen someone so obviously in love.

Gaze soft and loving, Lan Huan says, “You really do look the best when you’re teaching. No wonder I fell in love.”

If Jiang Cheng has to really hold back from kissing Lan Huan right then and there, Lan Huan doesn’t need to know that, so Jiang Cheng’s keeping that to himself. When he turns away, muttering something Lan Huan doesn’t quite catch, the latter doesn’t mind. Just from looking at the way the tips of Jiang Cheng’s ears have turned red, Lan Huan knows that he’s one step closer to making this lovely highschool crush of his into something more.