Actions

Work Header

hate is a strong word (but it is the only strength i have left)

Chapter 2

Notes:

tw: non-explicit someone hits child sans (you)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You never knew if your guardian cried with you that day as they left the scene of the crime, but you could tell they were shaking.

 

Papy looked like he didn’t know how to react when Wings came home with you, dusty as you were.

 

You weren’t so sure if he truly understood the weight of your actions either.

 

Wings nursed you back to health, quietly sheltering you away from the world outside, and you were thankful for it. You weren’t sure if you could handle being out and about so soon after. Not like this. You felt like you couldn’t.

 

Bones feeling brittle, shaken, you really felt like you couldn’t. Wings said the EXP wasn’t settling properly.

 

Whatever else he said didn’t register, and you didn’t bother to ask again. You wanted to stop any discussion related to the LV you now had. You ate, bathed, and slept; establishing a quick routine where you tried to heal as fast as you could. 

 

A week passed where nothing much happened aside from the episodes where you started trembling where you sat, where you didn’t know what was happening unless Papy pointed it out. Wings said it was what usually happened after gaining LV– and you didn’t want it discussed, but you knew you had to eventually.

 

Stop. 

 

You found yourself lying on your bed again, trying not to think about it. You didn’t have to think about it. 

 

Wings would help you through this, you didn’t have to do anything.

 

Eyes heating up, you closed them again, and you slept.

 

 

When you woke up, it was to the sound of voices out in the living room. The lights Underground had dimmed by then, signalling that it was time for monsters to go to sleep. Children your age would still be asleep in their beds, with their parents.

 

Could you still be a child despite what happened?

 

You fought the sudden urge to sweep your things off every surface and ruin the careful decoration on your walls. Those were things that your family gave you, you had to control yourself.

 

You tiredly eyed a wooden figurine. One of Papy’s first carvings.

 

The voices outside grew louder, and you shuffled towards your door.

 

“Shh— You will wake the children up, Wings.”

 

“I do not want to send him away. Not to you.”

 

“But you simply must.”

 

An unfamiliar voice, alongside your guardian’s. Your soul was thudding against your chest. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who they were talking about. You were a fool for thinking that there would be no repercussions for killing someone and gaining all of their EXP. You were so stupid. Of course Wings would report it—

 

Stop.

 

Fingers shakily laid themselves on the door, and you didn’t know when, but you’d somehow sat yourself in front of it. Pathetic trembles wracked your body as you tried so, so hard to think. 

 

You didn’t have to think. You trusted Wings. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. He wouldn’t.

 

“Enough of this argument, old friend. The queen heard about the incident and wants the poor child.”

 

 

You meet the person behind the unfamiliar voice, the day after. 

 

He visits you discretely, when Wings isn’t home and is instead out working.

 

“Hello.” He greets politely. “You’re Sans, correct?”

 

You don’t respond beyond a slow nod. You’re wary and tired and unwilling to part with the only home you’ve ever known; though you’re not letting him take you away, that doesn’t mean you should be rude. He serves the queen. Self-explanatory.

 

“I am River, and I visited your house last night. Did you hear us talking?”

 

The pause you make says it all. Your face sours when you realize he noticed.

 

The faceless shadow underneath his hood seems to grin at you; you can’t help but tense and flush, gripping your shirt. The Underground is bright, yet the dimness that his face is made of doesn’t lose its darkness. It’s ominous and strange, and you’ve seen your fair share of monsters.

 

“Then you must know that the queen would like you moved someplace else. Somewhere that isn’t Snowdin.”

 

“You didn’t say that last night.” You bite out. 

 

“So you must know what the queen actually wants.” River peers at you from under his hood. “She wants you under my guidance, instead of wasting away with Wings in this barren place.”

 

The underground is a barren place. You think unkindly, but rightly so. Your bones rattle from swallowing back the words. This monster was sent by the Queen, you knew you scarcely had a choice.

 

But even so—

 

Feeling the way your eyesockets heat up, you grit your teeth, trying to contain the way your emotions run rampant inside your jittering bones.

 

A chill makes it's way closer to you. The monster’s cloak brushes its edges against your slippered feet as he looms over you.

 

“Look at yourself, Sans.” He says, almost in a musing tone. The jolt that goes through your body at your name can't be hidden. “You poor child, you can't even control your magic. What if you ended up hurting someone else?”

 

You flinch violently.

 

You wouldn't. Comes the immediate, vehement thought, but you know better. The way you act speaks of your newfound inclination towards violence. You're just a poor kid, with an even poorer brother and caretaker who won't be able to stop you if you suddenly decide to snap and kill them off—

 

 

Between one blink and the next, you suddenly notice that you're on the floor clutching at your skull. An ache throbs at the side of it. 

 

You look up at River, feeling something wet streak its way down your face. He brushes himself off quietly, watching you as ashes float in the air.

 

His robe is a little singed.

 

The visceral horror at your realization is enough motivation for you to leave with him the next day.

Notes:

you have ao3 maintenance to thank for this chapter i was spiraling so hard i went back to writing for undertale