Archive of Our Own ^beta

Julie had a few memories from her childhood that were so clear in her mind she could take herself back to those moments instantly at will, and working for the Chicago Transit Authority, in a tiny booth, gave her plenty of time to do so. 

There was the time her mom had sat her down for her first piano lesson, gently aligning her little fingers on the keys, her mom’s slender fingers resting lightly on top. 

There was the day her brother came home from the hospital, Julie bouncing excitedly in the entranceway waiting for her parents to bring him until she had actually seen the wrinkly, little bundle that was a newborn Carlos. She had exclaimed her disappointment, skeptically asking her parents if “that was really him”. 

Everytime she and Carlos fought she liked to remind him of the less than stellar first impression he had made. 

There were other memories too, all playing out in an overly saturated, idealized movie in her mind whenever she had a down moment. Her first piano recital, family trips to Disney and that time they drove to see the Grand Canyon. Carlos’ baseball games and catching her parents slow dancing in the kitchen and the first time she sang in front of a crowd that wasn’t made up of her own family. 

Unfortunately there were other memories that liked to wiggle their way into her mind on a daily basis too, memories that were a lot less pleasant and even more insistent. 

Her mom getting sick. The family moving to Chicago so Rose could participate in an experimental cancer treatment trial, the initial hope followed all too quickly by the sinking realization that it wasn’t working. Her mom had been a fighter, and Julie remembered that of course, all of the days she had somehow found the strength to get to the piano to write with her daughter despite her exhaustion. But she also remembered the days when it had all been too much and her mom never made it out of bed at all, remembered the way those days had slowly increased until they were the norm. 

She remembered...well. She tried not to remember what came next. 

Losing her mom. Her dad and brother moving back to California to be closer to family and further from bad memories. Julie, who had just started her freshman year at The University of Chicago in the music program, had stayed behind, doing her best to convince her dad that she was ok. 

“I don’t know about this, Mija,” Her dad had said worriedly, wringing his hands even as they stood surrounded by the boxes the movers were due to pick up any minute. “Maybe it’s too soon to be apart. Carlos and I can wait another year.” 

“Dad, it’s done,” Julie had reassured him, placing her hands on his arms in a gesture of comfort that also conveniently hid how her hands shook. “We talked about this. I’ll come home in the summer and we’ll talk on the phone all the time.” 

And her dad was an amazing father, sensitive and funny and kind. His only flaw was that he trusted her just a little too much. She had known it that time in high school when she climbed out the window to sneak out to sing at an open mic night and she knew it as she watched him and Carlos head off for the airport, while she watched...not ok...not at all. 

She had promised to go visit them the previous summer only...she hadn’t. 

Because it was bad enough to lie to her family on the phone. She really didn’t want to have to do it face to face. She had dropped out of the music program only a month or so after her family moved back to California, the daily reminders of the passion she had shared with her mom just too painful. Now she was a reluctant business major, drifting through classes she didn’t care about and filling her friendless free time by working as many shifts as possible manning a booth for the Chicago Transit System. It was a job made almost completely redundant by the fact that everyone used Ventra cards or day passes distributed by automated machines these days. She was mostly there to point lost tourists in the right direction and call for a clean up crew when something particularly gross happened. 

And she hadn’t told her dad (or her brother) any of that. 

So. 

No music. 

No dreams. 

No family. 

No friends, unless you counted her coworker Flynn who rarely succeeded in coaxing Julie out after work despite her repeated attempts. 

Julie had exactly two things going for her. 

The happy childhood memories she could replay at will and the daily sightings of her future husband. 

Now, Nick didn’t exactly know that Julie thought of him as her future husband. In fact, Nick didn’t know Julie’s name or that she existed at all. She only knew his name because once he had come over to turn in a pair of sunglasses he found and she had caught a glimpse of some kind of name tag he had forgotten to remove, presumably after getting off of some sort of job. So far the extent of their conversation had been the muttered “yuh” she had responded with when he handed her the sunglasses (it was supposed to be a thank you but her brain had rebelled) but that didn’t stop him from brightening her days. She saw him like clockwork every single day, taking the Red Line, always pausing to let others go before him when boarding, and sometimes when she leaned just right she could see him through the window, offering his seat to someone older than him or a mom dragging kids along. He had blonde hair that flopped a bit when he was late and running to catch the train, and blue eyes that she just knew were kind despite the limited eye contact they had shared. Even the way he slung his backpack over one shoulder was ridiculously attractive to her. 

Julie was well aware that her fantasies of a future romance with this random commuter probably weren’t the most healthy way to deal with her incredibly depressing current reality, but she also couldn’t bring herself to care that much. 

Surely, it was a harmless (if mortifying when described out loud, which she would never do) distraction?

Or at least it was until Christmas Eve when she got stuck working the early morning shift, only a few grumpy early commuters for company, as Julie struggled to stay warm in the supposedly heated booth that never seemed to maintain a livable temperature properly. She always volunteered to work holidays, using the fact that she was working as an excuse for why she couldn’t go home and trying to ignore the disappointment in her dad’s voice when she told him. There would be no classes for the next few days and Julie didn’t have any plans for Christmas other than watching White Christmas with her cat Meow. All in all it was shaping up to be a boring, if depressing, day spent in her own little frozen box until suddenly someone appeared at her window. 

Nick .

“Hey, Merry Christmas!” 

Julie gaped dumbly at the smiling boy who was suddenly taking up her field of vision, trying desperately to entice her brain into catching up with the current situation with little success. Nick for his part seemed unphased by either her mouth which was hanging open or her voice which she hadn’t yet managed to find. He simply slid a hershey’s kiss wrapped in bright green foil into the tiny opening in her booth window, winked and jogged over to wait for the train due to arrive any minute. Julie’s brain finally seemed to realize it was in fact capable of intelligent thought at that point, and she reached out to clutch the chocolate in her hand. They weren’t supposed to take gifts from people, especially not edible ones, which was very practical advice that didn’t take into account the fact that it was a gift from her future husband . Julie groaned as she replayed the proceeding few moments in her mind. 

“Merry Christmas to you too!” She grumbled, listing off all of the things she should have said during the interaction. “Thanks for the chocolate! Your hair looks great today! Let’s get married in 2-5 years and have lots of babies! Ugggggh.” 

She was just about to drop her head into her hands in humiliation and disappointment when the sounds of shouting and a scuffle reached her, causing her head to snap back up in search of the source of the trouble. What she spotted left panic coursing through her body, and she was up and out of her seat dashing out of her booth and towards the other end of the platform before she could fully realize what she was doing. Two men had tried to take Nick’s backpack, he hadn’t wanted to let it go, and in an instant he had fallen onto the tracks. The men fled as Julie reached the spot, her heart pounding so loud in her ears she almost thought the train had already arrived. She knelt down on the edge of the platform and waved frantically down at Nick’s prone form, hoping against hope that he would sit up and give some indication that he was ok. Oh yeah, and climb off of the tracks. 

“Um...excuse me, Nick...um...you need to get up now,” She couldn’t even process the ridiculousness of saying excuse me in this situation when she was so terrified. “Nick! There’s a train due any…” 

Just then the distinctive rumbling that indicated the train in question was arriving reached Julie’s ears and she glanced down to see how far away it was. It wasn’t at the station yet but...definitely too close for comfort. She turned her attention back to the guy below and called out desperately one more time. 

“Nick, please wake up!! Oh God.” 

When he didn’t react Julie found herself swinging first one leg and then the other over the edge and hopping down onto the tracks herself. She wouldn’t have been able to explain to anyone if asked exactly why she did something so massively stupid other than she didn’t want to see someone die knowing she didn’t try to help them. And ok, yes, she especially didn’t want to see Nick , one ray of sunshine in her life, die. 

Julie gave him a rough shake, still hoping against hope that he would wake up and be able to help her get him out of there. The rumbling of the approaching train was getting louder and she could hear people from the platform yelling for her to get out of the way but it sounded like they were shouting from a great distance. Julie grabbed Nick’s arm and gave a mighty yank, barely managing to move him an inch. The train was closing in, the vibrations racing down the tracks leaving Julie unsteady on her feet. In a last ditch attempt to save both of their lives, Julie laid on top of Nick, wrapped her limbs tightly around him and rolled as hard as she could. 

By some miracle they made it to the side of the tracks, the train whooshing by with such force Julie had to close her eyes to block out the blast of air and dust thrown up as it passed. Finally the train was gone and Julie opened one eye at a time, shocked to see Nick’s eyes were open and staring back at her. Maybe it was the shock of the near death experience that led to her next thought but she couldn’t help but notice that his eyes were even prettier up close. 

“Hi,” She said softly, not exactly the opening line she would have chosen but not bad given that her brain was mush. 

Unfortunately Nick was in no condition to respond, and his eyes almost immediately rolled back as he passed out, most likely from the knock to his head and not her lackluster conversational skills. 

“We’ve called 911!’ Someone shouted down to her. “You just saved that guy’s life.” 

Julie looked back down at Nick worriedly, hoping that was true and that he was going to be ok. She didn’t see any blood, he looked...well, he looked perfect. She was smart enough to know that looks could be deceiving when it came to head injuries though. She hoped that the ambulance would arrive quickly. She hoped that she had done enough to save him. She hoped they would actually get to have a real conversation after this.  She hoped she would never have to do something that idiotically brave again. 

So much for an uneventful Christmas. 

Things happened very fast after that. Someone must have gotten through to the people running the trains because not only did another one not appear, but suddenly there were lots of people on the tracks beside her, asking her a lot of questions she couldn’t quite manage to answer and prodding at Nick who still wasn’t reacting at all. Before she could fully process the situation, he had been strapped to some kind of plastic board and was being lifted back up to the platform, arms appearing to do the same to her too. A few moments later Nick was being carried toward a waiting ambulance and Julie was trailing along after him, not really knowing what else to do. She was smart enough to know somewhere in the back of her mind that she was probably in some sort of shock and she was completely sick with worry over Nick. The only thing she could think to do was just stay with him until someone told her she couldn’t be anymore. She expected that to happen any second only...it just didn’t. 

Nobody tried to stop her when she followed behind his stretcher in a daze. 

Nobody tried to stop her when she climbed into the ambulance and sat next to him the whole way, holding his hand. 

Nobody tried to stop her when she went right along with him into the emergency room, bypassing the first waiting room and heading for...well, heading for wherever they were taking him. 

It wasn’t until she reached the final set of doors between her and the ICU that her luck ran out. 

“Excuse me,” A man in a long white coat appeared between her and the door and Julie peered over his shoulder anxiously as she watched Nick disappear down the hallway on the other side. “You can’t go in there.” 

“But…” Julie struggled to break through the fog in her mind to find the right words to say to change his mind. “But I’m with him.” 

The man seemed to be only half listening, glancing between Julie’s face and the clipboard he held. 

“Are you his guardian?” The man, who she now realized had to be a doctor, asked impatiently. 

Julie stared at him blankly. 

“His next of kin?” The doctor  tried, before sighing and waving his hand as though that would let the words sink in for her faster. “Are you family?”

“Oh,” Julie suddenly felt very small, standing alone in the hallway of the same hospital where her mom...she banished the thought as quickly as it came. “No, no I’m just…” 

“It’s family only past this point,” He interrupted. “If you wait back there someone will update you after the family arrives and we know more.” 

And just like that he was scanning a key card and disappearing through the doors in front of them, leaving Julie to stare after him as the true magnitude of what had just happened finally hit her. She had almost died and Nick...poor Nick who brought chocolate to people who had to work on Christmas Eve...he was…

She felt tears gathering in her eyes just as a gentle arm appeared around her shoulders. Julie sucked in a shaky breath as her eyes darted to the side to see who was attempting to comfort her. The arm wrapped lightly around her shoulders turned out to belong to a nurse who reminded her so much of her aunt that fresh tears sprung up in Julie’s eyes at the thought of how much she wished she could hug her tia right then. 

“Don’t mind him,” The woman insisted, giving Julie’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and shooting an annoyed look at the doors the doctor had just disappeared through. “He thinks just because he has a medical degree nobody will notice that he’s a grade A jerk.” 

Even through her current distraught state, Julie couldn’t help but chuckle a little at that. 

Apparently the nurse had more in common with her aunt than just her appearance. 

“I heard you say you’re with that young man they just brought in,” The nurse shook her head. “What an awful situation. Is he your boyfriend?” 

Julie shook her head, letting a little bit of the sarcasm her family generally used to communicate leak into her tone, the unearned familiarity of the nurse and the stress of the situation bringing it out of her. 

“Not exactly,” She joked, finally managing to reign in the tears that had been threatening to escape. “But I was planning on marrying him so…” 

The nurse sighed sympathetically and Julie was just about to clarify that she didn’t actually know Nick when the woman pulled out an ID card and scanned it determinedly. 

“Come on,” She whispered, gesturing for Julie to follow her. 

Julie hesitated for a moment, running through all of the reasons why she shouldn’t follow this nurse she didn’t know into the area a doctor had just clearly told her she wasn’t welcome in. In the end though she followed the woman through the doors and down the hall, glancing around nervously as though the rude doctor might pop out at any time. She wanted to see Nick, didn’t want him to be alone until his loved ones arrived, just wanted to know he would be ok before she headed back to her lonely apartment to work through everything that had happened on her own. Worst case scenario they would be caught and kicked out by that jerk of a doctor and she would be no worse off than she was before. 

She wasn’t prepared when the nurse waved her into a room towards the end of the hall, and Nick was right there lying in a bed, impossibly still. That was the first thing she noticed, how still he was when she always saw him running for a train, always turning up just a little bit late. The second thing she noticed was that he still looked...perfect. He looked like he was just sleeping, his blonde hair flopping gently over his forehead, his eyes closed but relaxed, his arms laying loosely at his side. She wasn’t sure what she had expected since he had looked fine when she last saw him but...the relief that washed over her at seeing him still look whole and healthy was intense. Surely this meant he would be ok, right? 

“He’s going to be fine.” 

Julie jumped at the sound of the rumbling male voice from behind her, half out of surprise that anyone but the nurse would be there and half because whoever it was seemed to be able to read her mind. 

She turned to face an older man, presumably a doctor based on the white coat he wore, and glanced around only to see that the nurse had apparently disappeared while she was staring at Nick. 

“Vikki let me know that you’re the fiancee,” The man said in a gruff yet kind tone. “The MRI came back clean and we don’t see any significant swelling, which is frankly a miracle. We can’t say exactly when he’ll wake up but we have no reason to think there will be permanent damage.” 

Julie sighed in relief. She was so happy to hear that things with Nick would likely turn out ok that it took her a solid 30 seconds to process the first part of what he had said. 

“I’m sorry, whose fiance?” Julie finally sputtered. 

The doctor frowned and nodded his head toward the bed behind them. 

“His,” The doctor said as though it should have been obvious. 

“His what?” Julie asked rather dumbly, her brain still trying to make sense of the conversation they were having. 

“His fiancee!” The doctor exclaimed, seeming thoroughly perplexed by that point. 

Julie started to shake her head but her attempt to set the story straight was interrupted when a cop stepped into the room, his demeanor sympathetic.  

“I’m sorry, I know this is a difficult time, but I need to get a statement,” The cop said, earning him a confused look from the doctor. 

“My patient can’t give you a statement,” He explained. “He’s currently in a low level coma.” 

The cop shook his head and jerked his thumb in Julie’s direction. 

“Not from the patient, from the person who saved him.” 

The doctor’s eyebrows shot up as he turned back to Julie. 

“I thought you were the fiancee?” 

“Well…” Julie started only to be cut off yet again by the cop. 

“His life was saved by his fiancee? What a story!” 

“I mean...that’s not…” Julie tried again, wondering not for the first time in the last few minutes how exactly she had managed to get herself into this situation. 

She was never taking another holiday shift again. 

Just at that moment the nurse (who was apparently named Vikki...she really did remind Julie of her aunt Victoria in a truly eerie way) reappeared in the doorway with no less than five people crowding in behind her. 

“The family’s here,” Vikki said with a huff as they shoved her aside in their hurry to get to Nick’s side.

 Julie, the doctor and the cop all jumped back in an effort to avoid the hustling pack too, Julie taking the opportunity to slip towards the back of the room, edging towards the doorway where a disgruntled looking Vikki was still hovering. 

“Did you tell that doctor that I’m Nick’s fiancee?” Julie hissed as quietly as she could manage once she was next to her. 

Vikki shrugged even as she nodded. 

“Yeah, why?” 

Julie let her eyes bug out as she attempted to control the volume of her voice. 

“Because I don’t even know him,” She whispered, leaning in closer as her voice dropped even more. “I just saw him around work sometimes.” 

Now it was Vikki’s turn to let her eyes widen to what would be comical levels in a different situation. 

“So why did you tell me you were planning on marrying him?” She whispered back in a frantic rush. 

“I was joking!” Julie insisted. “I have a crush on him, it didn’t mean anything.” 

Vikki popped one hand on her hip. 

“Look, I appreciate an aspirational statement as much as the next woman, but next time you want to joke about being engaged to a coma patient, don’t!” 

Julie was about to come up with some kind of a retort to that about how she had been under a lot of stress or possibly just slip past Vikki and disappear out of the room and hopefully off the face of the Earth, when the doctor brought the attention rushing quickly back to her. 

“As I was just telling his fiancee…” 

“Fiancee?” A middle aged woman with curly brown hair that was just starting to grey at the temples pushed through the other people crowding around Nick’s bed to approach the doctor. “What fiancee?” 

The doctor, the cop and Nick’s entire family all swiveled their heads in her direction and Julie felt a rush of panic. Vikki had of course managed to disappear again so she was clearly not going to be any help. 

“That fiancee,” The doctor pointed at Julie who was busy wishing she could melt into the floor. 

“She jumped on the tracks,” The cop added enthusiastically. “She saved his life!” 

A tall man with glasses joined the woman by the doctor’s side, giving Julie an incredulous look. 

“You jumped on the tracks?” He asked. 

Julie nodded, taking a deep breath as she prepared to begin the very awkward conversation she knew she needed to have. 

“Yes, I did, but I think there’s been a misunderstand…” 

Before she could finish her sentence the woman with the curly hair had crossed the room and pulled her into a tight hug. Julie barely had time to register what was happening before the woman was pulling back and reaching up to cradle Julie’s face between her hands. 

“You saved my baby,” She said through tears. “I didn’t know he was engaged. He’s so busy with school and work we don’t see him as often as we should. And he’s a little young so we were just surprised but...Nick’s always had a big heart so I’m not surprised he fell in love out of nowhere. Oh, my baby! Thank you, so much.” 

Then Julie was being pulled back into another fierce hug and she could barely breathe let alone think about what she was supposed to say to this woman now . When Julie was finally released she decided to try one more time. 

“I’m just glad he’s ok. But like I said, I’m not who you think I am.” 

“You saved Nick’s life, right?” A guy around her age with dark hair and a leather jacket spoke up. 

Julie nodded reluctantly. 

“I did but…” 

“And you are going to marry my son, aren’t you?” The woman still standing in front of Julie asked. 

“Well, that was my plan but…” Julie trailed off, glancing around at all of the hopeful faces staring at her and finally let her eyes land on Nick’s form, still lying motionless in the bed. 

She just couldn’t expose herself as a fraud and cause all of that drama for them when they should be focused on Nick. She would just let them think she was his fiancee for a few hours and then Nick would wake up and set things straight (when she was far, far away) and she would be nothing but a weird anecdote from the worst day of their lives. It was the only plan she could think of that wouldn’t result in instant humiliation and undue pain for the people crowded around her. 

“Yeah,” She finally said with a sigh. “I’m Julie, Nick’s fiancee.” 

The next half an hour was yet another blur from Julie’s perspective. The doctor briefed the family, which suddenly, terrifyingly , seemed to include her. The cop took her statement, pushing her for more details as she tried to recall what exactly had happened during her brief, ill-advised brush with heroism. 

“It takes a lot of guts to jump on the tracks with a train coming,” He observed, shaking his head in disbelief. “But I guess if it’s your one true love down there...that changes things.” 

Julie cringed then tried to hide it, ending up with what she was pretty sure was only a slightly less pained smile. 

“Yeah, I guess it does.” 

Then she was being introduced to a flurry of people that somehow managed to feel like far more than 5 through sheer chaotic energy alone. There were Nick’s parents Mitch and Emily, who spent the time bouncing between Nick’s bedside and Julie, hovering and pulling her into impromptu hugs that left her frozen in shock each time. There was also Nick’s grandmother who seemed a bit confused but entirely pleasant as she patted at Nick’s hand and remarked on the temperature of the room to no one in particular. The final two were two guys around her age, the guy in the leather jacket who was apparently Nick’s cousin Reggie and a blonde in a pink hoodie whose name was Alex. His role in the family wasn’t as obvious but she eventually figured it out. Mostly. 

“I’m Alex,” He told her as though that information should hold some kind of meaning to her. 

Honestly, it probably would if she was Nick’s fiancee. Which she wasn’t. 

This was a disaster. 

“Right…” She said slowly in a feeble attempt to stall. “Alex, Nick’s…” 

Luckily cousin Reggie picked that moment to approach and sling an arm around Alex’s shoulder, grinning as he finished Julie’s sentence for her. 

“Honorary, adopted non-specific family member,” He said enthusiastically. 

Julie frowned slightly and tilted her head in confusion. 

Reggie just laughed. 

“Neighbor, he’s Nick and Luke’s neighbor.” 

“Also reluctant best friend to Luke and this dork, glue that holds the family together, I wear a lot of hats,” Alex added, shooting Reggie an annoyed look without any real heat behind it. 

“It’s true, he does,” Reggie agreed with a nod. “Usually backwards.” 

“That’s not...ok,” Alex sighed. “So anyway, I want to know more about you, Julie, because honestly...it’s a little weird that we’ve never heard of you before.” 

Julie felt all of the color drain out of her face. 

Well, so much for just hoping she could get through this without being actively called out to her face. 

“There’s a reason for that,” She said nervously, shifting from foot to foot and resisting the urge to just flee. “And that reason is…” 

“Boys!” Emily interrupted, saving Julie from her imminent outing. “Let the girl breathe! She’s been through a very traumatic experience and now she’s just standing here in the same room as the love of her life who’s just lying there...not waking up…” 

Emily trailed off into dramatic sobs that Julie found moving but also simply impressive for how quickly they started and how loud they became. 

“Oh, Emily, the doctor says he’ll be fine,” Mitch said, patting a little exasperatedly at his wife’s shoulder. 

“She does this a lot,” Reggie whispered. “When Nick told her he wasn’t coming home for Thanksgiving it was waterworks for a week.” 

“Actually…” Julie announced. “I should leave you to have some time with him.” 

She started to back towards the door, determined to really make her escape this time. 

“Oh, don’t be silly!” Nick’s grandmother called after her. “He’s your husband!” 

“Fiancee, Mom!” Emily corrected, her tears miraculously drying up. “Oh, do stay, Julie.” 

Julie shook her head in what she hoped showed some regret on her part, even if it was entirely false. She didn’t stop backing towards the door. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m sure I’ll be seeing all of you around...here! I’ll be seeing all of you here, obviously. Um, ok. Bye!” 

“Julie, wait!” 

She froze, her pounding heart urging her to stop being polite and start running for her life. 

“We aren’t going to get to have much of a Christmas Eve tonight but we’re still hoping to celebrate tomorrow. You have to come for dinner. You haven’t even met Luke yet!” 

“I really don’t think…” 

Emily ignored Julie’s protest, scrawling an address on a piece of paper she pulled out of somewhere and handing it to Julie. 

“Dinner’s at 7. Just say you’ll think about it.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Julie said with one more small, forced smile which seemed to satisfy Emily. 

The second that Nick’s mother turned to walk back to his bedside, Julie turned and slipped out of the door to his room. 

Abandoning any pretense of being normal, Julie turned and jogged down the hall towards the doors that would lead her back to the waiting room and beyond that fresh air and true freedom. She managed to navigate the waiting room, and get in the elevator to head back down to the ground floor just fine, spotting the main revolving door and hurrying towards it. She was just about to jump inside and push her way to freedom when Vikki appeared with Nick’s backpack clutched in her hands. She shoved it towards Julie. 

“Here,” She said, the expression on her face slightly amused in a way that made Julie want to call her a traitor. “Take this.” 

Julie tried to push it back into the other woman’s arms. 

“Give it to his family.” 

Vikki shook her head. 

“The cops said to give it to Nick Patterson’s fiancee” Vikki said. “You want me to tell them why I can’t give it to you?” 

“Ugggh,” Julie groaned, accepting the bag reluctantly. “I’ll mail it back to them or something.” 

“Sure,” Vikki said, that infuriatingly amused look back on her face again. 

“Wait...you’re Nick Patterson’s fiancee?” 

Julie couldn’t help but groan again at the sound of the new voice appearing behind her. 

“If I say no, will you let me go in peace?” She muttered, spinning slowly to face a guy around her age who had clearly just entered the hospital. 

“What?” He asked, his face crumpling up in confusion. “I’m Bobby, I work with Nick. I heard what happened and came right over. I had no idea he was even seeing anyone after Carrie...but honestly if anyone was going to get engaged when he’s still practically a kid it would be Nick. What an idiot.” 

Julie frowned. Did he just…

“No offense,” The guy said quickly as he caught sight of the look on Julie’s face. “I hope he’s going to be ok. Is his family up there? They’re kind of a lot, huh? I hope they don’t see the results of our little dare.” 

Julie glanced around hoping for rescue only to see that Vikki had managed to disappear when she needed her again . She was practically like a ghost, just poofing out whenever she felt like it. Finally she admitted defeat and hitched Nick’s backpack higher into her arms and turned back to his coworker with a sigh. 

“Dare?” 

His entire expression instantly changed, his eyebrows drawing together and his mouth turning down sharply. 

“What else would it be? Did he say I manipulated him into it or something? It was a game of odds, fair and square. It’s not my fault he ended up with a…” 

What felt like years later Julie finally stumbled into her apartment, toeing off her sneakers and dropping Nick’s backpack just inside the door. She knew it was only early evening but it somehow felt like much, much later. She didn’t bother to change out of her clothes, disgusting as they might be after rolling around on the tracks as she dragged Nick to safety, just collapsed onto her bed, limbs sprawled out in exhaustion. She didn’t move a few moments later when her cat Meow jumped onto the bed, turned a couple of times and then sank into a furry ball right in the center of Julie’s chest. 

“Oof,” Julie huffed tiredly as her cat forced some of the air from her lungs. “What a crazy day, Meow. Let’s never do that again.” 

Meow lived up to his name, emitting one short meow that let Julie pretend that she wasn’t alone and that someone was actually listening to her at the end of an incredibly stressful day. 

“I agree,” She said with a sigh, wiggling her head further back into her pillow. “This is why I shouldn’t let myself dream about the future. It’s better to just keep my head down and mind my own business.” 

Meow didn’t dignify that comment with a response. 

“Still,” Julie continued softly, suddenly blinking back a few tears yet again. “I hope Nick’s ok.” 

Then she allowed her watery eyes to drift shut and did her best not to think of Nick, or her mom or the hospital they had in common or anything at all. 

The next day was Christmas and Julie did her best to stick to the plan, the plan she had before all the absolute madness of the day before. She turned on the lights she had wrapped around the base of her favorite succulent, as close as she had made it to decorating a tree that year. She put a pair of miniature reindeer horns on Meow that he hated and immediately pawed off. He was more excited about the fancy, too expensive for daily use cat food that she put out for him as a holiday treat. She forced herself to answer the phone when her dad called, wishing both him and Carlos a merry Christmas and avoiding her father’s questions about how school was going as best she could. She pretended she needed to get off the phone as some friends were coming over to celebrate with her and tried not to get choked up at how relieved her dad sounded that she wouldn’t be spending the day alone. She put on White Christmas and tried to focus on her favorite holiday movie though her thoughts kept drifting elsewhere. She didn’t let herself sing along to the songs of course, not like she and her mom always had when they watched it as a family. But she did make it to the end, staring at the screen as the credits started to roll. 

Her plan was to order Chinese food, the one kind of delivery she could reliably get 365 days a year, and just make it through the rest of the night and then forget that this Christmas ever happened. Only...she couldn’t stop thinking about that scrap of paper with Nick’s family’s address scribbled on it. 

She couldn’t go. 

There were absolutely no circumstances under which she could go. 

And yet...as she glanced around her empty apartment...the temptation to be surrounded by family, any family, overtook her rational thought. She had been so lonely for so long and yesterday’s events, the brush with death, the trip to the hospital...they had pushed her over the edge. 

She wanted one night to feel like she belonged somewhere again. 

Even if it was a lie. 

And so that was how she found herself standing outside of an inviting looking brick house in a neighborhood nowhere near hers, clutching a poinsettia the owner of her apartment building had given her a week ago, as though her regifted offering could protect her from being caught impersonating Nick’s fiancee. 

“I can’t do this,” Julie muttered to herself, prepared to turn and make a hasty retreat when someone appeared at her side. 

“Anxiety?” 

Julie glanced up to see Alex, the neighbor and...whatever else he had said, standing next to her. 

“I deal with it a lot too. Trust me, walking through that door isn’t as scary as you think it is.” 

Julie chuckled humorlessly as her gaze was drawn back to the unassuming door that was the source of a lot of her fear currently. 

“You’d be surprised.” 

“You know, Nick never mentioned you,” Alex observed, his voice almost aggressively neutral but his words still enough to have Julie stiffen. “And I know he’s a “do first, think later” kind of guy but isn’t 20 a little young to be getting married?” 

Julie swallowed hard and shifted her grip on the obnoxiously red plant she held. 

“We’re engaged,” She shrugged, hoping she was coming off suitably nonchalant. “That doesn’t mean we’re going to get married tomorrow or anything. And you know how Nick is, gets wrapped up in his own stuff and doesn’t keep in touch enough.” 

She was guessing that was true based on what his mom had said the day before but she had no way to really know. This could be the moment the whole thing unravelled and she would have no defense. Luckily Alex only responded with a noncommittal hum, his doubts, if he had them taking a backseat to what he had to say next. 

“Look, Julie, it’s Julie right? The Pattersons are more like my family than my family is. So just...don’t hurt them, ok?” 

Julie sucked in a shallow breath. 

Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it hadn’t been that. 

“I won’t,” She promised, meaning it despite the ridiculous situation she was currently in. 

She knew how much family mattered in a way you only could once you felt like you had lost yours. Lost your way. Lost yourself. 

She would borrow Nick’s family, just for a bit, just for tonight. Then she would disappear from their lives and Nick would wake up and everything would be fine. For everyone. 

Before either of them could say any more the door was swinging open and Emily was appearing in the doorway. 

“Julie! You came! Oh, hi, Alex. Oh yes, both of you come in, it’s so cold out here. The food’s almost ready and we’ve got everything all set...oh thank you, dear, you shouldn’t have. Come in, come in!” 

Julie allowed herself to be swept up in Emily’s greeting, Nick’s mother guiding her into the house where she was enthusiastically welcomed by everyone she had met at the hospital the day before, all speaking over each other and fighting for her attention. She couldn’t help but grin as each of them pulled her into a hug, offered her a drink, tried to show her around, pointed out the vintage decorations Nick’s grandmother had collected over the years, all at once in a charming cacophony of sound. It was overwhelming...but she loved it. It reminded her of Christmas back in California as a kid, her mom and dad and Carlos, their extended family, bustling around their cozy home and just enjoying each other’s presence. 

“Wait!”’ Emily said finally, throwing her hands up in the air excitedly. “She hasn’t even met Luke yet.” 

“She hasn’t met Luke yet!” Echoed first Mitch and then Nick’s grandmother (who Julie had only just learned was named Rose). 

“You know who Luke is, right, Julie?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow expectantly. 

“Of course,” She said in a rush, racking her brain trying to remember if that was information she had been given the day before. “He’s uh...he’s Nick’s…” 

“Brother,” Reggie filled in helpfully. 

“Right, Nick’s brother, obviously,” Julie pointed at Reggie as though she had known all along, afraid to look at Alex’s face in case she found suspicion there. 

“He should be here any minute,” Emily said, just as the sound of the door opening came from around the corner. “Ah, that must be him. Luke, dear, come meet Julie.” 

“Who the hell is Julie?” A young male voice called back just before a guy around her age, with shaggy brown hair that curled up around the edges of an orange beanie appeared in the living room. 

Julie found herself being practically yanked forward by Emily, an arm wrapped firmly around her shoulders. 

“This is Julie! Nick’s fiancee.” 

The guy whose name was apparently Luke took her in with a confused look, his brow furrowing as his eyes swept her up and down in a way that left her blushing though she was sure he was only searching for clues as to her role in Nick’s life. 

“Nick, doesn’t have a fiancee,” Luke said as though it should be obvious, glancing around at his gathered family as though they had lost their minds. 

“Of course he does,” Emily countered, dismissing his statement with a wave of her hand. 

“Her name’s Julie,” Reggie added cheerfully. “We just told you, dude.” 

“We can all catch each other up over dinner,” Mitch said firmly, gesturing towards the dining room. 

Most of the family seemed to think this was a good idea, surging towards the dining room, taking Julie with them. She glanced back over her shoulder only to catch sight of Luke standing exactly where they had left him, staring after her with a look she couldn’t read at all. 

She couldn’t imagine it meant anything good for her though. 

She turned around and let herself be led the rest of the way to the dining room, sinking into the chair closest to the door as though she could feasibly simply make a break for it if she needed to. 

“Here you sit right here, Luke,” Mitch guided his son into the chair directly across from Julie, causing her to sink down slightly in her chair. “Have her tell you the story of how she jumped on the tracks to save your brother. It’s a heck of a story!” 

Luke eyed the girl apparently named Julie skeptically across the table as everyone else settled noisily into their respective seats. 

“You jumped on the tracks to save Nick?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he tried to picture the tiny girl across from him hauling his brother out of the way of an oncoming train.

She nodded, suddenly seeming very interested in the napkin Grandma Rose had attempted to fold into a swan but left as a more or less shapeless lump beside each plate. 

“And you’re his fiancée,” Luke managed not to turn the statement into a question but only just, frowning as he examined her face when she finally tilted it up to make eye contact. “I don’t remember meeting you.”

Just when he was thinking she was incapable of any expression other than the anxious one that had been plastered all over her, she smirked slightly and shook her head.

“That’s probably because we haven’t met.”

Luke was speechless for a moment after her retort and he wasn’t someone who went speechless. Ever. He just hadn’t been expecting that hint of sass from the girl who had seemed so meek up until a moment ago. If he was being totally honest it also didn’t help that she was objectively the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. In a totally just observing a fact sort of way that didn’t make him any less distrustful of this interloper who had just shown up like she owned the place. 

“Will you pass the rolls?” Emily asked, her request more or less breaking him from his stupor as he reached out blindly to hand her the food she had asked for.

“These are the potatoes,” Emily pointed out in confusion. 

“The potatoes are incredibly creamy,” Grandma Rose announced from the other end of the table.

“But I didn’t ask for the potatoes,” Emily said.

“What did you ask for?” Her mother called down the table, Reggie and Alex muffling their laughter into their napkins. 

“The rolls,” Emily replied with a sigh.

Grandma Rose frowned.

“Then why are we talking about the potatoes?”

A giggle from directly across from him brought Luke’s attention back from his exasperating family to the girl...Julie...who he had originally been preparing to question further. She was looking down the table, her eyes darting back and forth between Luke’s stepmom and grandma, an affectionate smile resting on her face. As though she could feel his gaze on her, she turned her head until she met Luke’s eyes, that soft smile still intact. When their eyes met Luke felt an uncomfortable stuttering in his chest, like something had gone slightly wrong in there, and he immediately grabbed for his glass of water just to have something to do. 

“Get it together, Patterson,” He thought sternly, taking a deep gulp of water before looking up to find Julie once again staring at her napkin. 

He narrowed his eyes, wondering what exactly she was doing here. He wondered how his family could just take her word for it that she was engaged to Nick when none of them had ever even heard of her. And if a little, tiny, not worth acknowledging part of him wondered how Nick got so lucky to end up with a girl who looked like that ? Well, that was a thought better left to drift off on its own. 

“So, Julie,” Reggie leaned forward and craned his head to speak to Julie, Alex sputtering in annoyance as he tried to push his friend back so he could once again reach his own plate. “Why don’t you tell us how you met Nick?”

Her head shot up, her eyes landing on Luke again before darting off nervously down the table, thankfully keeping him from having to reach for his water this time. He listened with interest as she coughed slightly in preparation to answer his cousin’s question. 

“Um, well...it’s not that interesting of a story.” 

“Oh, I’m sure it’s plenty interesting,” Luke’s dad dismissed. 

“I love a romantic story!” Grandma Rose added, clasping her hands in delight. “Oh go on, Julie, tell us!” 

“Well…” Julie said, sitting up a little straighter. “I was working and he smiled at me…” 

“He has a lovely smile,” Emily said with a happy sigh. 

Luke fought the urge to roll his eyes. Nick’s current situation wasn’t lost on him and despite the fact that the doctor said he should be fine, Luke wasn’t exactly in the mood to mock his half-brother. Well, at least not out loud...but his family was really testing him. It was just hard to bury a lifetime habit of lovingly making fun of your sibling especially when this random (gorgeous) girl showed up to sing his praises. 

“He does,” Julie agreed, that soft smile slipping back onto her face as she reached up to tuck some of that amazing...some of her hair behind her ear. “Anyway he smiled at me and...that was it. I just knew.” 

‘I knew it,” Grandma Rose exclaimed dramatically. “Love at first sight.” 

“Wow,” Luke couldn’t help it, the sarcastic response just burst out of him. “He smiled. The kid flosses and that’s enough to make a lifetime connection. Impressive.” 

“Luke!” Emily chastised, reaching out to slap his arm in warning. 

He didn’t pay her much attention, his eyes still firmly on the girl across from him who was frowning back at him, a hint of that personality he had seen so briefly flashing behind her eyes. He didn’t let himself linger on why he was finding it so satisfying to be able to draw that out of her. 

“Don’t take it personally, Julie,” Alex remarked. “Luke doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.” 

“I’m plenty romantic,” Luke protested. 

“Writing love songs without actually being in love doesn’t count,” Reggie laughed.

Luke opened his mouth to argue back but Emily cut him off, sighing in exasperation. 

“Boys, we’ve all been through a traumatic experience, can we not just have one nice family dinner and try not to scare Julie off before we make it to dessert?” 

“It’s fine,” Julie broke in, drawing his eyes back to her. “I like it actually. It reminds me of holidays with my family.” 

Luke didn’t miss the flicker of emotion that crossed her face at the mention of her family or the way she followed it up by immediately changing the subject back to her relationship with Nick. 

“But it wasn’t just his smile. It’s the way he did little things like turning in sunglasses he found to a lost and found or holding the door or giving up his seat on the train.” 

Luke at first couldn’t muster up the ability to make fun of that, not really, not when she was talking about it like it was so much more than what it should have been. But as he watched her face light up talking about his brother’s supposed wonderful qualities he still couldn’t understand it. It wasn’t long before the instincts he wasn’t super proud of won out and a further comment escaped. 

“I’m sorry but none of that sounds that amazing to me,” He said, his tone only half as teasing as it would normally be. 

She shook her head slightly, their eyes locking as she answered him in a voice both soft and strong. 

“Making a thousand little choices to make someone else’s day better? To make it bearable? What’s more amazing than that?”

Any retort Luke had been planning died on his lips. 

There was something off about her, that was undeniable even though his family seemed incredibly invested in denying just that. But there was also something…

They had barely spoken, had spent less than an hour in each other’s company and somehow he felt like he knew her. Julie, the girl who loved her family but didn’t want to talk about them, the girl who carried a fire behind her eyes but also a sadness, the girl who fell in love with small gestures and the boys who made them. 

He spent the rest of the dinner pretending to be completely engrossed in his food, and only allowed himself brief, searching glances across the table. He couldn’t help but listen though as she loosened up under his family’s incessant friendliness, laughing and asking them questions about their holiday traditions and favorite Christmas movies. 

“Luke likes the one with the little dentist elf,” Reggie volunteered. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Luke grumbled, taking an overly aggressive bite to emphasize his denial. 

“Oh come on, Luke,” Alex joined in. “You used to make us watch that claymation reindeer like daily every December.” 

“Yeah, well, I was a kid, ok?” He countered grumpily. 

“Didn’t you boys watch it 3 times last year though, dear?” Emily asked. 

“Emily, please,” Luke groaned. 

Another of those musical giggles reached him from Julie’s direction and he let his eyes drift in that direction, unable to stop his mouth from stretching into an answering grin when he saw her smiling wide and easy. 

Then dinner was over and Luke was left with the uncomfortable realization that despite the things that seemed so obvious to him...he didn’t really know Julie. That wasn’t the uncomfortable part though. 

The uncomfortable realization was that he wanted to. 

“Oh, you can’t go all the way home tonight,” Emily insisted, hands gripping Julie’s arms as though she was prepared to physically drag her back in if Julie decided to make a run for it. “It’s so late. Just stay with us. Luke will give you a ride in the morning.” 

Julie shook her head, torn between the knowledge that she had been too lucky for too long already to risk spending any more time with Nick’s family and the desire to just sink into Emily’s motherly attention. Reggie and Alex had already left, the former giving her an enthusiastic hug and the latter a raised eyebrow combined with a smile that left her more than a little unsettled. Grandma Rose had gone to bed an hour ago and Luke and Mitch were apparently going over something to do with their family business while Julie had helped Emily clear everything up and do the dishes. She had loved her time with them, strange circumstances and all, but it was time to end it now. It was time to go back to her real life. 

“I can just take an Uber,” She said, trying to sound firm but only managing to make her statement sound more like a question. 

“Oh, if you insist,” Emily said with all of the confidence of someone who believed they would get their way in the end. “But in the morning. Just sleep here so I don’t have to worry about you. Please.” 

Julie wanted to keep protesting, she really did only she couldn’t help but remember that Emily’s son was across the city in a hospital bed, sleeping so deeply none of them could reach him. The woman had been through a lot that day, surely Julie could do this one, small thing for her? 

Julie sighed. 

“Well, ok, if you’re sure.” 

Emily grinned in triumph. 

“Luke!” She called over her shoulder, her volume truly impressive and leaving Julie wincing slightly. “Luke!” 

He appeared his face a mask of annoyance. 

“What? You realize the whole block probably heard that?” 

Emily dismissed that comment with a wave of her hand. 

“Julie is staying the night. She can stay in your room.” 

Julie and Luke both started to protest at that suggestion but Emily was having none of it. 

She held up both of her hands in a gesture that instantly shut them both up. 

“There’s still an extra bed in there from when you and Nick shared the room and we don’t have a guest room now that Mom has moved in.” 

Luke looked ready to try arguing again but Emily saw it coming and blazed ahead. 

“Besides I thought she would be most comfortable surrounded by some of Nick’s things,” She said with a sniff, clearly threatening to begin another emotional outburst. 

“Ok, ok, I got it,” Luke said quickly, Emily immediately stopping her sniffling and smiled triumphantly. 

“Wonderful, now Julie, Luke will show you the way. We are just so glad to have you in our family.” 

She pulled Julie into a tight hug and Julie found herself leaning further into the contact, a scratchy feeling instantly developing in her throat as though much like Emily she could be on the brink of tears at any time. Luckily she managed to pull it more or less together by the time Nick’s mom released her, giving her one last affectionate pat on the cheek before leaving her alone with Luke and his uncomfortable scrutiny. 

He was currently staring back at her the slightest frown gracing that not at all stupidly attractive face of his, his brow furrowed like if he just stared at her long enough he could figure out what the hell she was doing in his house. 

She really hoped that wasn’t the case. 

Finally he gave himself a little shake and turned towards the stairs, looking back over his shoulder to gesture for her to follow him. 

“Come on, I’ll show you where you’re bunking for the night.” 

He led the way up the stairs and Julie fought down a smile at “where you’re bunking for the night”.. It sounded like something her dad would say, always an old fashioned, slightly awkward yet endearing phrase on the tip of his tongue. She missed him. She wondered if he would like the boy in the orange beanie. 

No, she should be wondering if he would like Nick. 

No, she shouldn’t be wondering if he would like anyone . 

None of this was real and she couldn’t let herself forget it. 

When they reached the top of the stairs Luke turned left and led her down a short hall, pausing just long enough to tap a doorway and inform her it led to the bathroom before waving her into the room furthest from the stairs. She stepped inside and let her eyes wander over the space, trying to imagine Nick in it. The ceiling was slanted on both sides, a twin sized bed resting beneath each angled wall. Both sides were covered in posters though what was featured on the posters varied widely. On the left there were posters of cars...and girls...and a poster of girls with a car. On the right were posters of bands, Green Day, Nirvana, The Ataris and…

Julie crossed the room without thinking about it, stopping in front of the poster of the familiar album art for one of her favorite records. She didn’t realize that Luke had followed her until he spoke up from directly beside her. 

“It’s the album cover for…” 

“Everything In Transit,” She filled in. “Jack’s Mannequin.” 

She turned towards him just in time to see his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. 

“You know his stuff?” 

Julie shrugged, but she couldn’t leave it at that, not when she felt that familiar passion she had been pushing down for so long bubbling just beneath the surface. Still, she forced her voice to remain neutral as she answered. 

“This is one of my favorite albums actually. Is this Nick’s stuff or…” 

Luke chuckled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rocking back on his heels. 

“Nah, Nick had the whole “cars and hot girls” aesthetic going over there. These are mine. Nick only listened to bands for the guitar and don’t get me wrong, an epic riff is one of the best things in the world but it’s not everything.” 

“Andrew McMahon plays the piano,” Julie observed carefully, her chest aching with the effort of not letting herself express just how much she wanted to talk about one of her favorite bands, one of the cds she had listened to over and over with her mom as they tried to work out how to copy the piano parts on their own instrument. 

“He writes songs ,” Luke said, emphasizing the last word as though there was a difference between songs and songs , which was a distinction Julie was pretty sure she actually agreed with. “His melodies, his arrangements, oh man, his lyrics . The guy’s a genius.” 

“Yeah,” Julie agreed, unable to keep herself from smiling over at him as she took in the excited expression on his face. “He is.” 

The silence stretched between them then as they stared at each other for just half a second too long for it not to be weird. Luke seemed to feel the awkwardness at the same time she did, reaching up to scratch at the back of his head, right where his beanie met the nape of his neck, and half bounced away to a dresser on the other side of the room. He rooted around for a few seconds before returning to her side and practically shoving a pile of clothes into her hands. 

“Here, you can sleep in this stuff. It’s uh, it’s Nick’s.” 

Julie thanked him and glanced down at the worn t-shirt and sweatpants he had handed her, unable to resist the urge to rub her thumbs against the soft material. She looked back up to see Luke watching her as though he was looking for something though she had no idea what. He cleared his throat when she caught him and reached up to scratch at the back of his head again. 

“I’ll give you a minute to get changed, um...yeah.” 

Then he turned and disappeared from the room leaving her alone. She crossed to what she now knew was Nick’s childhood bed, leaning over to run her hand over the comforter before sighing and straightening up again. It didn’t feel right to be about to sleep in Nick’s bed knowing she was lying to everyone he cared about. It didn’t feel right to sleep in his bed knowing that he was in the hospital still not waking up. She changed as quickly as she could, folding her own clothes and depositing them in a neat pile by the foot of the bed. She caught sight of a couple of electric  guitars on stands against one wall, a battered red one and a blue one that looked to be in much better shape and right there on the bedside table was a framed picture of what she could only assume was a much younger Nick and Luke, matching acoustic guitars around their necks, grins on their faces. She picked up the photo to get a closer look, startling when Luke’s voice broke the silence of the room. 

“We got them for Christmas that year,” He explained, crossing to sit on his own bed, now wearing his own t-shirt and sweats that he had gotten somewhere, his beanie now missing revealing an endearing mess of curls. “My dad and Emily thought it would be a good hobby for us, that we’d lose interest in a year or two.” 

Julie eyed the guitars across the rooms with a knowing smile. 

“Didn’t work out that way?” 

“You could say that,” Luke chuckled, flopping back on his bed and folding his arms behind his head. “Neither of us gave it up. Nick’s more casual about it than I am, loves it but doesn’t need it.” 

He glanced over at her and shook his head. 

“Sorry, that probably doesn’t make any sense to you.” 

Julie was already shaking her own head, placing the photo carefully back on the bedside table before sinking down onto Nick’s mattress. 

“No, I get that. There’s a difference. Like you can love music but that doesn’t mean you wake up needing it like you need air,” She said, staring off into space as she remembered that feeling, how her fingers had landed on piano keys almost before her eyes opened some mornings, how she woke with melodies in her mind just begging to be given life. 

“So what do you play?” Luke asked, bringing her back to the moment. 

Julie gripped at the borrowed sweatpants she wore in an effort to hide her slightly shaking hands. 

“Who says I play anything?” She countered, doing her best to keep her voice neutral. 

“I do,” He said in a cocky but not cruel tone, giving her no room to escape his uncomfortably insightful statement. 

“What makes you say that?” She asked, forcing herself to look across the room and meet his eyes directly. 

He propped himself up slightly so he could lean his face on his hand. 

“Because you know that some people need music like they need air,” He said matter of factly, his eyes darting over her face as though he was searching for confirmation there. “And you look like someone who hasn’t breathed in a long time.” 

Julie reeled back ever so slightly as though he had slapped her in the face rather than just seen right through her carefully constructed facade of someone who didn’t need music, didn’t miss it, had never heard it calling to her like two separated soulmates. Like she didn’t have a huge, gaping hole inside of her that used to be filled by the songs she wrote and her mom…

“I’m tired,” Julie said, standing just long enough to pull back the comforter on Nick’s bed and slide under it. “It’s been a long day.” 

She rolled to face the wall and lay as still as possible as though Luke would somehow forget the conversation they had been having, would forget she was supposedly engaged to her brother, would forget she existed at all. That would be for the best. That would allow her to disappear back to her normal, lonely life leaving as few ripples behind as possible. 

She could practically feel him staring at the back of her head, could practically hear the follow up questions he wanted to ask. But in the end she only heard him stand, cross the room, and flip off the light before returning to his bed. 

After that Julie lay awake for a long time thinking of brothers, and guitars and how long you could survive without air if you just practiced hard enough. 

The next morning Julie’s plan was to get up early and sneak out before anyone in Nick’s family had time to question her further. Unfortunately for her, it turned out that the Patterson clan were all early risers. By the time she had creeped down the stairs, everyone but Grandma Rose was already awake and gathered around the dining room table, a box of donuts between them. Despite her protests that she could just as easily order a ride, Emily insisted that Luke drive her mom and Mitch chimed in that his son had to do a pick up run for work anyway so it would be no trouble, and Luke had looked if not enthusiastic, at least not completely disagreeable to the idea. So that was how she found herself in the front seat of his truck, staring out the window and willing the guy next to her not to attempt to engage her in conversation. 

Of course, Julie wasn’t that lucky. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you last night,” He started, eyes darting over to her before sliding back to the road. 

“You didn’t offend me,” Julie said, fiddling with the buttons of her coat. That much was true anyway. “I was just tired.” 

Luke gave a non-committal hum that didn’t exactly sound like he believed her. 

“I’m just usually pretty good at picking out musicians,” He continued, tapping out a rhythm to a song only he could hear against the steering wheel. “Kindred spirits or whatever.”  

Julie sighed. 

He clearly wasn’t the type to take a hint. Maybe she could give him a half truth and that would be enough for him to leave it alone. 

“I used to play piano,” She admitted, forcing her voice to remain steady. “And sing a little bit. It’s not something I do anymore though.” 

That was enough to draw his eyes back to her, that unreadable look that left her irrationally nervous back on his face. She swore she could see questions he wanted to ask her flashing behind his eyes but in the end he only refocused on the road and chuckled instead. 

“Nick must love that, you being into music. Nothing he loves more than someone he can show off for.” 

Julie bristled at his assessment of Nick’s personality despite the fact that she knew rationally that Luke knew Nick a lot better than she did. She was so annoyed at his accusation that she forgot to censor herself as she answered. 

“I was into music,” She corrected. “Nick doesn’t even know that.” 

Luke’s head jerked in her direction at that and his hands jerked a bit too, leaving Julie to squeal in distress as the car slid slightly to the right before Luke straightened it out. 

“Eyes on the road, Luke!” She ordered, sucking in a couple of deep breaths to calm herself. 

“Sorry,” He said sheepishly, but she didn’t miss the way his eyes darted over to her again briefly before returning to the road. “But you’re telling me Nick doesn’t know you’re…” 

He caught sight of the look Julie was sending him and switched his word choice mid-sentence. 

“Ok, Nick doesn’t know you were into music and you’re marrying the guy? Seems weird, but ok.” 

Julie folded her arms and turned in her seat to face him a little more fully. 

“Why is it weird? You never grew out of something?” 

Luke shook his head, his eyes still firmly on the road but his voice taking on an earnest quality that cut right through her attempts to play the whole conversation off. 

“If you’re a musician, really a musician you don’t grow out of it. And I’m not talking about talent. You can be a mediocre triangle player for all I care. But if you love it? If you really feel the way it connects people when you play? There’s no growing out of that. It’s everything, it’s…” 

“Like air,” Julie finished for him. 

He glanced her way once more, flashing a brilliant smile at her that left her wondering if beautiful smiles just ran in Nick’s family. 

“Exactly,” He agreed. “Like air.” 

Julie very deliberately stared straight ahead, not willing to fall any further into a conversation that could only lead her closer and closer to a painful wound she had spent the last year avoiding. She had arranged her whole life specifically so that she didn’t have to venture anywhere near it...changing her major, distancing herself from her family, not writing music, or playing music, or listening to music or thinking about music. 

Because Luke was right, music was who she was.

But music was also her mom. 

And she couldn’t separate the two. 

She didn’t want to. 

Julie cleared her throat and clenched and unclenched the fingers resting on her knees as she searched her mind for a suitable subject change. 

“So what exactly does Patterson and Son do?” She asked finally, landing on inquiring about the name she had seen painted on the side of the truck they were riding in, a topic that seemed relatively safe. 

Luke frowned. 

“You don’t know?” 

Julie spoke in a rush, fighting a losing battle to hide her nerves. 

“Well, you know, Nick,” She said, doing her best to walk the line between sounding confident and not saying too much. “He likes to focus on stuff he finds exciting.” 

Luke rolled his eyes and Julie stifferend afraid she had said the wrong thing. Thankfully when he spoke again it wasn’t to expose her as the liar she was. 

“That does sound like him,” He chuckled humorlessly. “Ironic that he was the golden boy of the family when he never has time for it anymore.” 

Julie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She wasn’t naive, every family had issues, that was totally normal. But she had always observed Nick from afar, letting her keep her image of him as an idealized version of a person who could bring her true happiness if he just looked up one day and really saw her. It wasn’t that she thought less of him for being real exactly, it was more like the realization was setting in that he wasn’t this glowing ideal that could solve her loneliness. He was just a guy, a guy who had his own great qualities but also flaws and problems and complicated relationships with his family. He was real and he was hurt and she was lying to his family.

What was she doing?

“Sorry,” Luke broke into her thought spiral, clearly misinterpreting why she looked upset. “I know he’s like the love of your life or whatever.” 

Julie couldn’t help but smile slightly at his phrasing even through the haze of her guilt. 

“Or whatever?” She repeated. 

“I’m just saying, Nick’s not a bad guy. I love him. He’s just not the type to put anything ahead of what he wants and I guess I’ve always been equally annoyed and jealous of that.” 

Julie let his words sink in for a moment before prompting him to answer her original question. 

“So...Patterson and Son?”

Luke smiled sheepishly.

“Right. We’re an estate sale company. When someone dies we come in and buy all their big ticket items like antiques, furniture…” 

“Pianos?” Julie interrupted, trying to speak around the sudden lump in her throat. 

The image of men coming to pick up her mom’s piano, one of those clear memories she was able to recall at a moment’s notice but that she tried to bury as deep as possible. 

Luke must have noticed the change in her voice because his was decidedly softer when he answered her. 

“Yeah, sometimes pianos,” He hesitated for just a second like he wanted to say more on that subject but thought better of it. “Anyway, it started out as Patterson and Sons but then Nick decided he wanted to go to school to be a big shot lawyer someday so now it’s Patterson and Son.” 

“And you didn’t want to be a big shot lawyer?” Julie asked, her curiosity overcoming her knowledge that the best thing she could do at this point was to stay quiet. “Or anything else? Rockstar maybe?”

Luke shook his head ruefully. 

“Music is all I want to do. It’s all I ever wanted to do.” 

“So why are you selling dead people’s furniture?” Julie asked, unable to stop the borderline rude question from escaping. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Luke interrupted. “It isn’t exactly my dream, obviously. But it’s complicated. I tried going all in on my music, in high school. My dad and Emily freaked out, I pushed, they pushed back, I ran away...it was a mess.” 

Julie considered his explanation, choosing her words carefully when she finally responded. 

“But you came back,” She offered questioningly. 

“I came back,” He shrugged. “I didn’t give up music but I can’t do it like that again. Not if it breaks my family’s heart. So I let them think it’s a hobby and I do what I have to do to keep my family happy.” 

“They love you,” Julie observed, her voice dropping down to a softer register without her permission. “And I bet they would be happier if they knew you were living the life you want to live.” 

Luke made another one of those humming noises that she was coming to realize meant he wasn’t willing to concede whatever point she was trying to make. 

“What about you, Julie?” He countered instead, raising one eyebrow. “You living the life you want to live?”

“That’s my place right there!” Julie deflected, jabbing her finger forward to indicate the apartment building they were approaching. “You can just drop me off anywhere.” 

Luke brought the truck to a stop in front of the sidewalk separating her apartment building’s courtyard from the street, putting it in park and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel again. 

“So, I wanted to ask you…”  He started only to be interrupted by a loud voice from outside the truck. 

“Julie, who’s your friend?” 

Julie groaned, not needing to turn and look out the window to know exactly who was shouting across the courtyard. 

“None of your business, Kayla!” She shouted back before glancing over at Luke apologetically. “My neighbor. She doesn’t really understand boundaries. Anyway, thanks for the ride.” 

Luke glanced over Julie’s shoulder to take in the girl who stood there in her matching purple tracksuit. Julie turned just in time to see Kayla wiggle her fingers flirtatiously as she smiled in Luke’s direction. 

“Um, yeah, no problem. I’m going to visit Nick in a couple hours. Maybe I’ll see you there?” 

Julie was already reaching for the door handle, her fingers latching onto it as she found the words to answer Luke’s assumption. 

“Yeah, yeah, probably so. Thanks again.” 

And then she was out of the truck and slamming the door behind her before Luke could remember what he had originally wanted to ask. Julie had enjoyed her time talking to him, certainly a lot more than she had thought she would after his first impression had been that of a cocky guy who was (reasonably) suspicious of her presence among his family. But whereas the rest of his family (aside from honorary member Alex) seemed content to ask her almost no questions, Luke seemed to ask her nothing but questions. He had brought her closer to talking about music than she had been in at least a year and that was scary, and uncomfortable and... exciting all at the same time. But it was time for the fantasy of the last 24 hours to come to an end before she ended up hurting someone, the most likely candidate being herself. 

Julie intended to stride quickly across the courtyard and all the way up to her apartment without pausing to speak to anyone but Kayla had other ideas, immediately falling into step next to her and chattering away. 

“So you’re not going to tell me who that cute guy is?” She asked, popping her gum loudly.

Julie didn’t slow her pace.

“I wasn’t planning on it, no.”

“That’s selfish of you,” Kayla replied, sounding completely undeterred. “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.”

Julie rolled her eyes as she and Kayla reached the third floor where they both lived, jabbing her key into her lock in an effort to escape the conversation. 

“Speaking of guys…” Kayla continued. “Caleb was looking for you again today.” 

“He’s not a guy, he’s our landlord,” Julie argued, finally managing to open her door and slip inside, speaking to Kayla through an ever decreasing sliver of doorway as she inched the door closed. “And he’s old enough to be my father.”

“I still think he likes you,” Kayla insisted. “You should go for it, Julie. I bet he’d knock 50 bucks off your rent.”

“Wow,” Julie said sarcastically. “What a dream.”

She closed the door the rest of the way with a slight bang but she was still able to hear Kayla’s last comment from the other side.

“I’m just saying, keep your options open!” 

Julie shook her head and crossed the room to sink onto her couch, collapsing with her head thrown back and her arms flopped out at her sides. Meow made his presence known right away, hopping up beside her and demanding her attention. Julie let one hand drift over to rub at his head, letting out an exhausted huff of air. 

“Well, Meow,” She said tiredly. “That’s over with.” 

Unfortunately that was the moment her phone decided to ring, the vibrations from her back pocket disturbing her brief moment of peace. 

“Ugh,” She groaned, sitting up just enough to reach back and pull her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the screen just long enough to see that it was Flynn. She thought about just dismissing the call but hesitated at the last second. She and Flynn weren’t exactly best friends, they couldn’t be when Julie was so determined to keep everyone at a distance. But they were coworkers, and friendly, and Flynn never gave up on her efforts to get Julie out of her apartment and having some fun. So despite the fact that it never worked, Julie felt like she owed her anyway. She swiped her thumb across the screen to answer the call, holding it up to her ear reluctantly. 

“Hello?”

“Girl, why am I finding out from the internet that you jumped on the tracks to save some guy from an oncoming train?”

That got Julie’s attention and she sat up quickly even as she cringed at the implication of Flynn’s words. 

“You heard about that?”

There was a brief moment of silence before Flynn’s incredulous voice came blaring through again. 

“Heard about it? Jules, I was scrolling through the local headlines and there was a photo of you being pulled off the tracks! What the hell happened?” 

Julie shouldn’t have been so surprised, of course the local news would be covering someone almost being hit by a train, and it wasn’t like this was the 90s, that information would be easily accessible to anyone with a phone. So...everyone. 

“Did the article have my name?” She asked worriedly, already picturing someone sending the article to her dad and him hopping on the next flight out of worry. 

“No, it said this guy was saved by an ‘unknown CTA employee’ but can we focus? Why didn’t you call me? Are you ok?”

Julie thanked her lucky stars for small blessings that at least her name wasn’t publicly attached to the incident so far. 

“I’m fine,” She assured Flynn hurriedly. “Sorry to worry you. It’s just been a crazy 24 hours.” 

“Thank God,” Flynn let out a relieved sigh on the other end of the line. “How about the guy, is he ok?” 

“He’s in a coma,” Julie admitted, her thoughts drifting guiltily back to Nick, lying in that hospital bed. “But the doctor says he should wake up anytime, they don’t think there’s permanent damage.” 

“A coma,” Flynn echoed. “That’s so intense. Is his family here at least? Did you meet them?” 

Julie cringed. 

“You could say that.” 

“Jules..” Flynn said clearly unwilling to let Julie’s cryptic comment drop there. 

Julie considered deflecting or flat out lying for all of three seconds before she made the decision to just tell Flynn the truth. It was about to burst out of her anyway and it was better to impart that information onto her almost friend than to anyone else. 

“There was kind of a tiny little misunderstanding at the hospital,” Julie admitted. “And um, well, long story short...his family kind of thinks I’m engaged.” 

“Engaged…” Flynn repeated, and Julie could clearly picture the confused look on her face. “Engaged to who?”

“To Nick,” Julie answered hesitantly. 

“Who’s Nick?” Flynn asked.

“The guy in the coma,” Julie said in a rush, scrunching her face up in embarrassment. 

“The guy in the...Jules!” Flynn practically shouted into the phone.

“I know, I know,” Julie sighed. “Trust me, I know it’s bad. It was an honest mistake at first.” 

“At first?” Flynn pressed. 

Julie cringed. 

“Well...I meant to set the record straight and when that didn’t work I meant to just slip away and let them forget me. But then...well, I kinda went to Christmas dinner at their place last night. And slept in Nick’s childhood room. And implied that I was going to go visit him in a bit.” 

“Jules!” Flynn exclaimed. 

“I’m not actually going to go!” Julie insisted. “I know I screwed up ok? It’s just...it felt nice to have a family again.” 

Julie had never told Flynn the whole story, though she knew that Julie’s mom had died sometime before they met. Still, Flynn was kind enough to realize this wasn’t an area where she should throw Julie’s mistakes back in her face. 

“I get that,” She said softly. “But you realize this is totally insane right?”

“It was totally insane,” Julie corrected. “It’s over now, they’ll never hear from me again.” 

“If you say so,” Flynn responded doubtfully. “Just be careful, ok, Julie? I know you’re lonely even if you don’t want to admit it but adopting a sleeping guy’s family is not the way to go.” 

“Trust me,” Julie sighed yet again. “I’m ready for my life to go back to being boring and solitary. Look, I’m exhausted, Flynn but I’ll see you at work tomorrow, ok?”

Flynn seemed reluctant to hang up but in the end she let Julie go with a promise that she would be her first call the next time she decided to risk her life to save a stranger. Julie spent the next several hours keeping busy so that she wasn’t tempted to show up at the hospital and expose herself to more probing questions from Luke. She fed Meow and took a nice, long shower and followed it up with an attempt at a nap though she wasn’t able to turn her mind off enough to drift off for long. She made herself a grilled cheese for dinner and watched some forgettable reality show just to have some background noise in her apartment which suddenly seemed incredibly empty after the bustle of the Patterson house. It did little to hold her attention though and she found herself letting her gaze drift around her apartment, taking in the space almost completely devoid of anything that actually represented her. The one exception was the denim jacket draped over the back of a chair, it’s surface embellished with a smattering of rhinestones, spikes and patches, a dahlia pin placed carefully on the front. It had been her mom’s and each and every decoration had been collected and added over the years as she toured and gigged with her band Rose and the Petal Pushers. Julie used to wear it everywhere but now it had taken up permanent residence on that chair, waiting until the day it didn’t hurt to put it on. 

If that day ever came. 

Julie let her eyes drift down to the base of the chair and...there, right where she had dropped it was Nick’s backpack. 

She really shouldn’t go through it. It didn’t belong to her and it had only ended up in her possession because she had let a lie to his family get out of hand. Even if her intentions had been good she had already let the situation get completely out of control and allowed the risk of people Nick loved getting hurt to climb absurdly high. Right now it was more or less balanced out by the fact that she had saved his life but if she kept choosing to dive deeper and deeper into places where she didn’t belong how long before that stopped easing the guilt? She had always believed in boundaries.

Still. 

Maybe just a peek wouldn’t hurt. 

Julie eased herself up from the couch and crossed the short distance between her and the chair, sinking down on its surface as she pulled Nick’s backpack toward her. She unzipped it quickly, before she could change her mind, and pulled the sides apart so that she could see inside. 

A history textbook. 

A notebook. 

A collection of pens, a few random pieces of paper and there at the very bottom, something shiny glinting as she shifted the bag. 

Julie reached down and grabbed the small, shiny object pulling it out and holding it up so she could examine it more closely. It was a bracelet, a braided black cord with a gold charm hanging off of it in the shape of a guitar pick, and right in the center the letters C.W. were engraved in flowy script. Julie traced her fingers over the letters, the metal surface cool and oddly familiar, It reminded her of the sensation of clutching her mom’s dahlia pin, the way the tiny trinket had always made her feel safe and loved and strong. She wished Nick had his bracelet with him. Maybe it was just some piece of jewelry to him and he wouldn’t care at all. But maybe it represented something more to him...maybe it would make him feel safe and loved and strong. Maybe she should…

“I can’t,” Julie chastised herself, giving her head a shake to emphasize the point. “I absolutely cannot go over there.” 

She couldn’t help the way her eyes found the clock though. 

It was already 7:00. Luke should have left the hospital hours ago. Maybe she could just slip over and drop off the bracelet, she could be in and out in ten minutes. Nobody had to know. 

“Nope, no, absolutely not,” Julie insisted out loud, turning to find her cat staring at her in what appeared to her to be a judgmental way. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m not going, Meow.” 

A statement that very much turned out to be the latest of her recent lies when only half an hour later Julie found herself directly outside of Nick’s hospital room. She shifted the weight of the backpack that she carried onto one arm and reached up with her newly free hand to toy with the dahlia pin on the jacket she had decided to wear at the last minute. 

“I really must be crazy,” She muttered to herself as she decided to just get it over with and stepped over the threshold and into Nick’s room. 

He still looked entirely peaceful, his hair fanned out slightly on his pillow and his arms resting loosely at his sides. His expression was blank and pain free. He looked like he could wake up any minute. God, she hoped he would wake up soon. Not right then of course. But as soon as she left would be perfect. 

Julie placed his backpack along the wall before crossing the room to sink into the chair that was pulled up to the side of Nick’s bed. She twisted her hands around each other for a few seconds, just watching Nick’s face, so familiar to her and yet technically belonging to a stranger. 

“Hi Nick,” She said eventually, managing to find her voice. “I guess I should introduce myself. I’m Julie.” 

She gave a little chuckle, more hit with how truly ridiculous the situation was than finding any of it truly funny. 

“You might have heard me saying that I’m your fiancee and I’m really sorry about that. It was all a misunderstanding that got out of control. You might have heard I saved your life too. But the thing is...you're the one who used to make my days worth looking forward to. Even though you don’t know me at all...in a way, you saved me too. So I guess I just wanted to come by to drop off your backpack and to say thank you. Oh, and I brought this…” 

Julie reached into her pocket and pulled out the bracelet with the little golden guitar pick. 

“I thought it might help. That might be dumb but it couldn’t hurt.” 

Julie gripped Nick’s hand gently and slid the black cord over it slowly until his bracelet rested on his wrist. 

“Well, I guess this is goodbye then,” Julie said softly. 

“You know...I didn’t take you for a runaway bride,” A voice drawled sarcastically from behind her. 

Julie jumped and stood from the chair quickly, whipping around to see Alex standing in the doorway. 

“Alex I…” Julie sputtered. “How...how much did you hear?”

Alex stepped fully into the room. 

“Oh, not much, you know just somewhere between all of it and all of it.” 

Julie cringed, bringing her hands up to bury her face away from view. 

“Oh my God,” She took one deep shuddering breath before raising her head again. “I can explain.” 

“I hope so,” Alex said, raising one eyebrow as he stepped closer to her. “I’m all for embellishing a little for entertainment purposes but this is a bit much.” 

Julie shook her head fiercely. 

“It’s not like that, I swear. They pulled us off those tracks together but when I got to the hospital they wouldn’t let me see him. I made the wrong joke to a nurse and the next thing I knew there was that doctor and the cop and Nick’s mom and...everybody thought we were engaged and I just couldn’t find a way to correct them without making everything worse.” 

Alex looked as though he was truly listening to her, a small frown on his face, which was honestly more than she could have expected. That didn’t mean her anxiety wasn’t sky high as she waited for his next comment. 

“Ok…” He drew out the word as though to give himself more time to choose his words. “But that doesn’t explain why you showed up for dinner last night.”  

He had a point. How did she explain her actions to him when she couldn’t even fully understand them herself?

“I know,” She admitted with a sigh. “Trust me I know. This might sound completely out there to you but it just felt so good to be surrounded by people who looked at me like I mattered, you know? It’s been awhile since I felt that. It’s not an excuse but it’s all I’ve got.” 

“Hey,” Alex stepped forward to rest a hand on her shoulder. “I know exactly what you mean. You’re not the only one who chose the chaotic love of the Pattersons over the lonely alternative. But you’re really in a mess now, aren’t you?”

Julie nodded dejectedly. 

“Yeah, that’s an understatement. But tonight’s the end of it, really. I came to bring Nick his stuff and now the Pattersons will never hear from me again. I promise.”

Alex shook his head. 

“You know what? No, we’re not doing that.” 

Julie gaped at him in surprise. 

“What do you mean no? This has to end.” 

“Eventually yeah,” Alex shrugged. “But the more I think about it, you were on the right track. Nick’s family doesn’t need feeling betrayed right now on top of everything, but you know what they do need? A distraction. And you, Julie? This? This is very distracting.” 

“But…” Julie struggled to string words together coherently as she took in his surprising statement. “But you warned me not to hurt them. The longer I stay in their lives the more it will hurt when they find out I lied, right?”

Alex didn’t seem convinced. 

“Julie, when Nick wakes up they’re going to be too happy to care about anything else. This will probably just be a funny story they tell three Christmases from now.” 

“I don’t know…” Julie hesitated. 

“Trust me,” Alex insisted. “When the time comes I’ll tell them the truth myself. I’ve been in the family too long for them to be that mad at me. You can slip away with nothing but a good story, don’t worry about it.” 

Julie reached up distractedly to run her fingers over her mom’s dahlia pin as she turned Alex’s words over and over in her mind. It was a ridiculous plan, basically the same ridiculous plan that had gotten her into this mess in the first place but...Alex knew the Pattersons really well and he swore this was the best thing for them. And beyond that..it was hard to drown out the small voice inside her saying it might be the best thing for her too. 

To hold onto that feeling of belonging for just a little bit longer. 

“I can’t believe I’m letting you talk me into this,” Julie groaned eventually which brought out an answering grin from Alex. 

“I can be very persuasive. Now come on, we’ve got places to be.” 

“We do?” Julie asked in confusion before gesturing back at Nick. “Don’t you need to…” 

“Oh, nah, I already had my visit. I was just coming back from the bathroom when I heard your confession.” 

Julie groaned again. 

“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Alex said, grabbing Julie lightly by the wrist and pulling her out of the room after him. “This is going to be the best thing for everyone. Now let’s go show you a good time.” 

“What?” Julie asked, trying desperately to keep up with the conversation. “Why?”

“Happy Julie, happy Emily. Happy Emily, happy everyone,” Alex answered as though it should be obvious. “Besides you saved Nick’s life. The least I can do is take you to see a good band.” 

Julie almost demanded he let her go right there, that they rethink this whole thing and under no circumstances go see whatever band he was talking about. It’s what the Julie of only a day ago would have done, the Julie who couldn’t even say the word music without a physical ache ripping through her chest. But spending time with Nick’s family, talking to Luke...it’s like the last day had changed her somehow. No. It was like the last day had woken her up somehow, woken up a part of who she used to be. 

So Julie didn’t demand that he let her go. 

She just allowed herself to be led out of the hospital and into the biting Chicago night air, hoping against hope that she wasn’t making a huge mistake. 

They were loaded up in Alex’s car and ten minutes into their drive when his phone rang, Alex snatching it up before Julie had a chance to see who was calling. Whoever it was didn’t seem too pleased with Alex though, if the way his face scrunched up as an indiscernible shout echoed from the other end. 

“Yeah, yeah, dude, I’m almost there. Yes, yes...I said yes! Ok, we’re here I just have to park. Bye!” 

Alex disconnected the call and tossed his phone towards the passenger seat where Julie caught it and tried to hide both her surprise and nerves as Alex somehow managed to find street parking near their destination, which she suddenly realized had to be The Garage. It was a combination bar/music venue where she had spent countless nights during the year before her mom died, eager to take in the local music scene and distract herself from what was going on with her mom. She had even managed to secure her own audition to perform there. She just hadn’t shown up, her mom taking a turn for the worse only a few days before she was due to perform for the booker. She hadn’t stepped foot in The Garage for over a year and as she followed Alex inside she did her best not to visibly react to the familiar scene. 

The bar was in the front of the room, a wooden U-shape you had to squeeze past to get to the open area in front of a small stage. There were quite a few people both seated at the bar and milling about in front of the stage, and the crowd was both anxiety inducing and exhilarating as Julie allowed Alex to push their way through it. She expected him to stop in front of the stage but instead he kept going, heading for the door in the back corner with a guy in a black t-shirt stationed in front of it. She was sure the guy was going to point them back the way they came but he only nodded at Alex and let them pass. Julie’s eyebrows shot to the top of her forehead as she followed Alex backstage. 

“Alex...where are we…” 

Her question died in her throat as Alex pushed aside the piece of fabric hanging over the door in front of them, revealing the grimy space that passed for The Garage’s green room and inside it two familiar faces. 

Reggie and…

“Alex, there you are! Cutting it close man, we’re on in 2,” Luke said, leaping to his feet from his seat on a tattered black couch. 

“Relax, I said I’d be here. Besides, I was visiting your brother and I picked up a stray.”

Julie cringed at that description though she couldn’t exactly fault it. The entire Patterson family had more or less picked her up like a stray dog, hadn’t they?

“What does that…” 

Luke trailed off as Julie stepped fully out from behind Alex, giving an awkward little wave.

“Uh, hi.” 

“Julie!” Reggie practically bounced across the room and pulled her into a warm hug. “I didn’t know you were coming.” 

“Neither did I,” Julie shot Alex an accusatory look which he had the nerve to answer with a smirk. “I ran into Alex at the hospital and he offered to take me to see a great band. He didn’t mention he was in the band.” 

Alex waved his hand dismissively. 

“Details.” 

“We’re Sunset Curve,” Reggie supplied helpfully. “Tell your friends.” 

“It’s cute that you have a family band,” Julie observed, Reggie’s enthusiasm cutting through some of her anxiety. 

“Cute? Cute is what you say when the kid down the street wants to tell you the terrible joke they made up, not when you find out about the most epic band ever,” Luke finally rejoined the conversation, his surprise at Julie’s presence seeming to wear off a bit. 

Julie couldn’t help but roll her eyes at that. 

“Most epic band ever? Little over confident aren’t you?”

Now it was Luke’s turn to smirk and she couldn’t help but notice that it had a completely different effect on her than Alex’s smirk had. That thing would probably qualify as a weapon in some countries. 

“Why don’t you hear us play and then you can tell me?” He suggested. 

Before Julie could respond the guy in the black t-shirt poked his head through the doorway and announced it was time for them to go on. 

“Ok, boys, that’s our cue!” Luke said with glee, slapping his cousin and his friend on the back as they headed for the door. 

Alex glanced back over his shoulder. 

“We’ll see you after?”

Julie hesitated for a fraction of a second but then she nodded. 

She had already come this far without panicking and running out, maybe it was finally time to force herself to at least experience others making music if she couldn’t see herself making it herself. Besides...she had to admit she was curious what the band’s music would sound like, what...Luke’s music would sound like. He had spoken so passionately about it the day before, had described it in terms she had never heard before outside of her own unspoken thoughts. He might suck. But somehow...she doubted it. 

So Julie wandered back out into the main venue and took up a position towards the front of the crowd just as the boys took up their positions, Luke standing front and center at a microphone, his blue electric guitar slung across his chest. 

Julie expected him to say something at the beginning, for them to introduce themselves or something. Instead as soon as the lights dropped they were immediately diving into their first song, a driving rhythm and clangy guitar chords filling the space instantly. 

Take off

Last stop

Countdown till we blast open the top

Face first

Full charge

Electric hammer to the heart

Luke’s voice blasted through the space hitting Julie like a physical force. All three of the guys were giving it their all, Alex absolutely wailing on the drums as Reggie hopped around plucking at his bass. But it was Luke, one of his legs continuously kicking out the side, cocky grin firmly in place, who had truly captured her attention. His voice was good, so was his guitar playing and his lyrics. But it wasn’t any of those that had her so enthralled, it wasn’t even really the combination of all three. It was the passion she could feel blasting her in the face with every note he sang and every chord he played. He was having the time of his life up there, right where he knew he was meant to be. She remembered what it was like to feel that. She had been scared to remember it but...watching Luke up there...she couldn’t feel anything but a familiar surge of joy that only came from letting music flow through her. They might have been called Sunset Curve but watching them was like the sun coming up after a night that had lasted for years. It was like your favorite meal when you were the hungriest you had ever been. 

It was air. 

It was air when she hadn’t breathed in a long time. 

As though he could feel her focus on him, Luke’s eyes suddenly dropped until they landed on her, a grin spreading across his face as their eyes locked. 

Hear the noise

In my head

It's calling out like a voice I can't forget

And Julie knew it didn’t make sense, knew that Luke had never even heard her sing, but something about the way his eyes connected with hers when he sang that line...it felt like the voice he was talking about was hers . Almost as though he could read her mind, Luke’s grin grew and he gave her a nod that instantly had her blushing and jerking her head away to take in Reggie’s antics and give her a break from his attention. 

“He thinks you’re engaged to his brother,” Julie admonished herself silently. “What are you doing?” 

Then again, getting momentarily lost in the eyes of her fake fiance’s brother wasn’t the dumbest thing she had done in the last couple of days. That had to be a toss up between jumping in front of an oncoming train and somehow creating a fake fiance for herself in the first place. 

Julie forced herself to remain more or less outwardly detached for the rest of the boys’ performance, their further three songs all as well written, and expertly performed and full of passion as the first. On the inside though she could feel that little spark that had started to awaken inside of her the day before was blazing to life even more fiercely, threatening to become a real fire at this point. The glow and warmth of it was so comfortingly familiar to Julie, so right but it was also terrifying. She couldn’t let herself forget that her time with the Pattersons, her identity as Nick’s fiancee, whatever the hell was happening with Luke’s prodding and poking and voice...none of it was real. It was all going to come to an end, and if she let herself get drawn out now she would only be more exposed when she was on her own again. 

She knew all of that. She did. 

But that didn’t change how she felt. 

And she felt... alive . 

For once. 

After the guys took their bows they immediately started packing up their gear to clear the way for the next band and Julie hung around off to the side of the stage, leaning against the wall and watching the confident way they handled their instruments with envy. She remembered what it felt like to have your instrument feel like an extension of your body. She gave her fingers a little shake where they hung at her sides as though she could disperse the longing gathering in them as easily as she could wake up a limb that had fallen asleep. She was so focused on the uncomfortable feeling she almost didn’t notice when the three guys showed up in front of her. 

“So, what did you think?” Luke asked eagerly, bouncing a little as he waited for her answer. 

Alex and Reggie exchanged an exasperated yet fond look and Julie got the strong feeling that Luke’s enthusiasm and desire to hear an in depth review of their performance wasn’t new. 

Julie had to admit, she was grateful for his half cocky rockstar and half excitable puppy routine. It let her fall back on her instincts to give as good as she got and put her back on exactly the solid ground she needed. She folded her arms and let a half-interested smirk find its way onto her face. 

“It was..cute,” She informed him, almost laughing out loud at the way his eyebrows instantly drew together in dismay. “It was very, very cute.” 

“Cu…” Luke cut himself off, shaking his head in disbelief. “You’re still on that?” 

Alex laughed and slapped Luke on the shoulder a few times for good measure. 

“Finally someone who doesn’t fall for the Luke Patterson charm,” He observed with glee. 

“It probably helps that she’s madly in love with his brother,” Reggie pointed out, causing Luke’s expression to shift yet again, almost like he had forgotten that Julie was supposedly engaged to Nick until Reggie brought it up. 

It was tempting to stick around and tease Luke some more, not to mention the fact that she genuinely enjoyed Reggie and Alex’s company. But she had to work the next day and she had probably pushed her luck with keeping her story straight as much as she could reasonably risk for one day. 

“Ok, well, thanks for the invite, Alex, but I’m going to head out and catch the train.” 

All three guys were instantly protesting, talking over each other in their hurry to reject her plan. Julie just raised an eyebrow and waited for them to sort out who wanted to speak. In the end Reggie went first. 

“Julie, it’s too late for you to take the train by yourself,” Reggie insisted. “Let one of us drive you home.” 

“You know I do it all the time, right?” Julie asked, too touched by their concern to be too offended by the assumption that she needed protecting. “I literally work for the CTA.” 

“Still,” Alex said. “There’s no need when we can just drop you off.” 

“Fine,” Julie sighed, unable to keep a small smile from creeping onto her face. “If you guys insist on being chivalrous I guess I’ll allow it.” 

Reggie grinned at that, puffing out his chest. 

“Sir Reginald, knight in shining armor, at your service, milady.” 

Julie allowed him to pull her hand up to his lips and press an overdramatic kiss to the back of it, giggling a little once he released her. 

“I’ll give you a ride,” Luke interjected hurriedly before anyone else could say anything further.

That earned him a surprised look from all three of the others but he just shrugged. 

“I already know where you live,” He said, turning his attention to Julie. “The guys can help me load up the truck and then we can go.” 

Julie didn’t particularly think it was a good idea to be trapped in that truck with Luke again, both because of the additional possibility of her slipping up about Nick and because of his tendency to push the music issue. Still, she couldn’t exactly announce either of those reasons to refuse so in the end she only nodded reluctantly. The guys made several trips out to the truck, hauling their instruments bit by bit until they were done. Julie’s offers to help had been dismissed so she stood off to the side and watched their progress until they finished. Then with only one last nervous look shot back at Alex, who nodded encouragingly, Julie climbed into the Patterson and Son truck and watched as Luke eased it out onto the street. They didn’t make it far before she caught Luke glancing over at her. 

“What?” She demanded after she caught him for the third time. 

“Nothing,” He said instantly, almost immediately going back on that statement. “It’s just...weren’t you going to go see Nick earlier?” 

“I did, that’s where I ran into Alex,” She explained, her answer true enough. “I just got caught up in a few things and didn’t make it over there as soon as I thought I would.” 

She could tell that answer didn’t fully satisfy Luke but she could also see that there was something he wanted to ask about even more. She couldn’t help but find how easy he was to read slightly endearing. 

“Go on, ask me,” She rolled her eyes, but she smiled too. 

He hesitated for half a second before launching into what she had known he wanted to talk about all along. 

“So what did you think of Sunset Curve? Really?”

Julie couldn’t help it, she laughed a little before launching into her best impressions, first of Luke and then of Reggie. 

“We’re Sunset Curve. Tell your friends!” 

“Julie!” Luke whined, drawing her name out in a way she definitely didn’t find adorable. “Don’t mock our catchphrase.” 

“I’m not, I’m not,” She insisted. “It’s cute, honestly.” 

Luke let out a loud groan. 

“There’s that word again.”

Julie laughed. It hadn’t even been intentional that time. 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. I like the catchphrase, I do.” 

Luke glanced over again, that hair of his somehow managing to still flip up at the ends despite the fact that he wasn’t actually wearing a beanie tonight. She had a brief urge to reach out and push a strand back with her fingers, to see if it would pop back into place. She resisted.

“So…” Luke tried again, his eagerness once again breaking down her best intentions not to engage more than she had to. “What will you tell your friends?”

Friends. 

The truth was of course, she didn’t have many of those, none unless you counted Flynn’s attempts she rarely responded to or the fragile friendships she was forming with Nick’s family and friends through deceit. Still. That wasn’t what he was asking. 

“It’s a glowing review, ok?” She finally said with mock annoyance. “You guys were good, really, really good. Are you happy now?”

He certainly looked it, almost wiggling in his seat from clear satisfaction, his lips curling up in a smile and his fingers tapping out a victorious rhythm on the steering wheel. 

“You’ve got good taste,” He joked in response. 

Or at least he said it like he was joking. She was pretty sure he was entirely serious in thinking that liking his band equaled having good taste. That would have been a turn off if they weren’t so damn good .

Things fell silent inside of the truck for several minutes and Julie couldn’t decide if it was an uncomfortable silence or not. She wasn’t inclined to break it either way. Luke on the other hand had other ideas. 

“So...you really fell in love with Nick’s smile, huh?”

Julie groaned. 

“Alex was right, you don’t have a romantic bone in your body. Go ahead, make fun of me for having a heart.” 

“I’m just trying to make all this make sense,” Luke said quickly. “Last I heard, Nick was dating some rich daddy’s girl he met at school and then you turn up as his fiancee...I’m just playing catch up here.” 

“I get it,” Julie sighed, turning to stare out of the window so he wouldn’t see the hurt on her face. “I’m not Nick’s type.” 

Luke scoffed. 

“I find it hard to believe you wouldn’t be anyone’s type.” 

Julie whipped her head back in his direction and he seemed to realize what he had said, making brief eye contact with her before turning back to the road abruptly. 

“I mean...I just mean...I’ve actually been thinking about the other stuff you said, about the little stuff Nick did that made you love him and I want you to know I get it.” 

Julie was having trouble keeping up with the conversation at this point but she had to admit she was curious. 

“You do?” 

“Yeah,” Luke shrugged. “Like, love doesn’t always have to be some grand gesture. My parents split up before I was even born. As soon as she could hand me over my mom was gone, poof, you know?”

“Luke, that’s awful,” Julie said, shocked by his unprompted admission. “I mean…I’m sorry...I just…”

“It’s fine, I don’t even remember her,” Luke assured her. “But my Dad? He stayed, even though he was broke and had no idea what to do with a kid. That’s love. He met Emily and they had Nick a couple years later, so they’ve always been my family, right? And even after all these years, my dad still gets up before her so she can have fresh coffee. That’s love.”

Julie listened intently. 

“Interesting,” She said softly without really meaning to. 

“What?” He asked, glancing over at her again. 

“Nothing it’s just...with Nick...love to me looked like small acts of kindness because that’s what I needed and to you it looks like sacrifice because that’s what your family does. Is that why you’re working for the family business and not pursuing music full time?”

She definitely hadn’t meant to ask that. 

“I...that’s not...I mean...kind of,” Luke sputtered. “I mean yeah, it’s like I told you, I made a choice to put my family first.” 

“Maybe you’re not giving them enough credit,” She offered. “It’s been a long time since high school, Luke. Maybe if you told them what you actually want they would support you.” 

“Maybe,” Luke muttered, his fingers flexing on the steering wheel indicating that she had clearly hit a nerve. “Anyway, what about your family? Are they cool with you giving up music?” 

Julie swallowed harshly around the lump that had suddenly appeared in her throat. She didn’t intend to answer him at all, let alone honestly, but the words seemed to escape without her consent. 

“They don’t exactly know. My dad doesn’t know I switched my major and my mom...she...she passed away.” 

She didn’t turn to look but she could feel Luke’s wide, sympathetic eyes burning a hole in the side of her face. 

“Julie, I am so sorry,” He said, the sincerity behind his words evident. 

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak for a moment. When she finally felt prepared to go on she sucked in a shaky breath. 

“It’s funny, you know how my mom knew my dad was the one?” 

She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, could tell the switch in subject had thrown him off but she pushed forward anyway. 

She smiled softly as she remembered her mom telling her the story a hundred times. 

“She said he gave her the world. Turns out it was the Globe...you know, Shakespeare’s theater? She was really into Shakespeare, at least his comedies, always said a happy ending was a must. Anyway, there was this music festival happening outside London and she got invited to play and at first she was so excited talking about how she was going to follow her dream and get to visit a place on her bucket list at the same time. Then she realized she couldn’t afford it and stopped talking about it at all. My dad was an aspiring photographer and he sold his camera to get her a ticket to London and a book of sonnets. She sent him a postcard from the Globe asking him to marry her. He said yes when she got home, obviously. So the sacrifice thing...I get that too.” 

Julie glanced over at Luke in embarrassment. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I told you all of that.” 

Luke just smiled and shook his head slightly. 

“No, that’s...that’s an amazing story. Nick had a hell of a proposal to live up to, huh?” 

Julie felt tears burning at her eyes suddenly even as she nodded and turned to face the window again. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” 

“Have you ever been? To London?” 

Julie shook her head, keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the street rushing by. 

“No. Mom always said we would go back together, that we would retrace her trip but...no. I haven’t been.” 

Luke must have heard something in her voice because he allowed the truck to finally sink into silence for the rest of the drive. When he pulled to a stop outside of her apartment, Julie didn’t waste any time opening the door and hopping down from the truck but she couldn’t stop herself from offering a few parting words before she shut the door. 

“You really were great tonight,” She offered before she could think better of it. “I mean, your band was really great.” 

Luke grinned and something inside of Julie loosened slightly allowing her to return it. 

“Oh and Luke?” 

He tilted his head quizzically as he waited to hear what she had to say. 

“Just a tip for any future girlfriends you have? Sometimes a big gesture is good.” 

Luke laughed, the sound almost musical to Julie’s ears, just like everything else about him. 

“Big gestures occasionally, got it, Boss.” 

Julie was grateful that it was too dark for him to see the blush that she could feel spreading over her cheeks at the unexpected nickname. 

“Goodnight,” She said quickly, slamming the door of the truck shut and immediately turning to head inside. 

She didn’t miss the way that the sound of the truck driving away didn’t drift over until she had the door to her building open. The fact that he had waited for her to get inside sent a small thrill through her that she tried to ignore unsuccessfully. It was true what she had told him, big gestures had their place, she had grown up on that story about her parents after all. But...it was still the accumulation of little things that made her heart flutter the most. 

“Get it together, Julie,” She muttered to herself as she climbed the stairs towards the third floor only to have Kayla suddenly push past her. 

“Talking to yourself isn’t a good sign,” Kayla observed, popping her gum loudly as she jogged up the stairs. “Careful or the next thing you know you’ll be doing something crazy.” 

Julie just sighed and slowly trudged the rest of the way up to her apartment. 

Doing something crazy? Kayla had no idea. 

The next day Julie was stuck working in a tiny booth with Flynn, doing her best to avoid the seemingly unending stream of questions her almost friend was unleashing about the whole situation with Nick and the Pattersons. She was doing her best to pretend to be busy but unfortunately there just wasn’t enough work that needed done and Flynn wasn’t easily deterred. 

“And you just agreed to keep this thing going?” Flynn asked incredulously for roughly the third time that day. 

Julie sighed. How could she explain this to Flynn when she couldn’t even properly explain it to herself? 

“I know, trust me, I know how it sounds ok? I was going to come clean but Alex convinced me that this is better for everyone in the long run.” 

Flynn didn’t seem convinced, tilting her head as though she was trying to see inside of Julie’s mind for clues as to where exactly things went wrong in there. 

“And when Nick wakes up I suppose you’ll just casually remind him you’re engaged,” Flynn said sarcastically. “You had better tell him you’re pregnant too while you’re at it, why not, get a whole lifetime's worth of big announcements out of the way.”  

“Flynn!” Julie hissed. “That’s not…” 

“Julie!” 

Julie froze at the sound of the familiar voice and spun to face Reggie who was peering eagerly into the booth. 

“Reggie,” Julie greeted through a forced smile, doing her best not to let her panic show on her face. “What are you doing here?” 

“I’m on my way to visit Nick,” He explained cheerfully. “Who’s your friend?” 

He waved over Julie’s shoulder and she spun to face Flynn who wasn’t even trying to act like she wasn’t staring and listening to every word. Julie widened her eyes and jerked her head a little doing her best to send Flynn a signal to cut it out but Flynn pretended not to notice. 

“I’m Flynn,” She said with a smile and a wave, still eying Reggie closely. “And you are?”

“Reggie,” He returned her wave, seemingly unaware of the tension inside the booth. “I’m Nick’s cousin.” 

“Oh! Nick’s cousin!” Flynn exclaimed. “Julie why didn’t you say so? You two are practically family then, huh?”
 

Reggie grinned and nodded while Julie cringed and put all of her effort into resisting the urge to bury her head in her hands. 

“Any chance you’re almost done?” Reggie asked, turning his attention back to Julie. “I saw you over here and thought you might want to come with me.” 

“Sorry, I still have half an hour left on my shift…” Julie started only to be cut off by Flynn. 

“Oh go on, Jules, nothing is happening anyway, I can cover for you. Besides,” She raised an eyebrow pointedly. “Family comes first.” 

Her message was clear. The Pattersons weren’t Julie’s family, not really and she needed to remember that before she (and they) got hurt. Julie wasn’t exactly a fan of the way her almost friend was imparting that message but she couldn’t be too annoyed when she so clearly needed to hear it. Julie sighed before turning back to Reggie. 

“Ok, yeah, let’s go, Reggie.” 

He just smiled again, agreeable as ever, as Julie zipped up her coat and grabbed her bag before slipping out of the booth and following him onto the train that had just arrived. Any worries she had about the journey to the hospital being awkward were quickly put aside as Reggie kept up a constant, friendly chatter the whole way. Somehow in one 15 minute ride he managed to tell multiple stories about his childhood with the other guys that had her laughing out loud, detailed how they formed Sunset Curve, and still found time to ask her questions about herself. At first Julie tried to keep the focus firmly trained in the other direction but before long Reggie’s genuine enthusiasm had her offering up small, but honest tidbits about herself. The fact that she had a little brother whose twin passions were annoying her and investigating the supernatural, the fact that she had played the piano since the age of four. 

The fact that her time with the Pattersons was the happiest she had been in a long time. 

There must have been something reflected on her face for that one because Reggie had frowned and looked poised to press the issue when thankfully they arrived at their station. 

“We’re here!” Julie had announced gratefully, practically jumping to her feet and leading the way off the train and around the corner to the hospital. What she hadn’t counted on once they made it inside and up to Nick’s floor was the fact that it wasn’t just her comatose fake fiance waiting for them. 

It was the entire family. 

Luke hadn’t slept much the night before. 

It really wasn’t that surprising, he supposed, given everything that had happened in the last few days. His brother had almost died and had yet to wake up despite continued reassurances from the doctors that his brain would bounce back when he was ready. And that was a lot, it was, because despite their lifelong competitiveness and pronounced differences...Luke loved his brother. 

But if he was being honest with himself the question of when Nick was going to wake up wasn’t the only thing on his mind. It wasn’t even the biggest thing on his mind. That would be a girl named Julie, a girl who blew in out of nowhere as not only Nick’s lifesaver but fiancee , someone they had never heard of and yet seemed to slot into their family so easily...seemed to slot into their lives so easily. 

Seemed to slot into... his ...life so easily. 

So if he was being honest that was what had kept him up most of the night before. 

How had he gone from skeptical and determined to get to the bottom of her unlikely sounding story to chasing her approval and replaying her laugh in his head over the course of just a few days? Actually, it was worse than that. He hadn’t even made it through the entire Christmas dinner before he had found himself more focused on how much he liked her against his better judgement than he was on exposing what had to be a lie. It had to be a lie because...because Nick had never mentioned her. Because he knew for a fact that Nick had been seeing someone else not that long ago. Because...because...because she was beautiful, and funny and had music in her soul the same way he did and if she wasn’t lying...then she was going to marry his brother. And somehow that left him with a sick feeling he didn’t want to examine too closely. 

So he had gotten up that morning determined to put aside any connection he had tricked himself into thinking they had and find out once and for all if she was telling the truth. So when she had walked into Nick’s hospital room unexpectedly, trailing after Reggie and looking shocked to see them all...he took the opportunity. While the family talked loudly across Nick’s bed, and showered Julie with aggressive affection, he took every chance he got to throw a question at her in an attempt to trip her up. 

“What was it we were saying about Nick’s favorite guitarist the other day?” He asked, only making the vaguest effort to appear casual. 

Julie frowned at him slightly before covering it up with a brief chuckle and a slight shake of her head. 

“I don’t think we said anything about that.” 

“Oh, right,” Luke pressed. “But you do know, don’t you?” 

“Um...Hendrix,” Julie offered with only a slight hesitation. 

“Ha! Oh, well um, good guess,” Luke trailed off into a mutter, ignoring the questioning look that Reggie was sending him. “How about his favorite color?”

“Uh, blue,” Julie answered. 

“No, it’s...oh, yeah. Everyone likes blue,” Luke grumbled, annoyed that so far his questions were amounting to absolutely nothing. 

“I like red,” Reggie interjected. 

“What’s with the third degree, Luke?” His dad asked, glancing back and forth between Luke and Julie. “Am I missing something?” 

He suddenly found everyone in the room staring at him and he shifted uncomfortably under their scrutiny. 

“It’s just none of us had ever heard of Julie a few days ago, no offense,” He glanced over in Julie’s direction and tried not to let the slightly hurt look on her face completely derail him even though it did make something in his chest clench painfully. “I just figured we should make sure.” 

“Make sure what?” Emily echoed, her voice taking on that tone that indicated she was only moments away from some sort of emotional outburst. “What are you trying to do Luke?” 

“Nothing, nothing,” He insisted quickly, feeling the mood of the room turning against him quickly. “I like Julie, I do. I just think some proof might be nice.” 

“Luke, dude, maybe you should back off,” Alex said, appearing at his side to place a hand on his shoulder. “Your family is going through a lot right now.” 

“Exactly that’s why...like look, that bracelet,” He jabbed his finger in the direction of Nick’s form lying still in the bed, his arms resting at his sides with a bracelet clearly visible on one wrist. “Julie, why don’t you tell us about that.” 

“I don’t…” Julie sputtered for a moment, her eyes seeking out Alex’s which had Luke’s shooting over in the same direction. “Ok, well, I gave it to him. It’s in the shape of a guitar pick. Because he plays the guitar.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Luke strode over to his brother’s side and bent over to examine the bracelet more closely. “But it has the initials C.W. on it. What does that mean?” 

Julie reached up to push some hair behind her ear and fixed him with a determined look. 

“It was supposed to be CWM for ‘come what may’ but they messed up. He didn’t mind, he thought it was funny.” 

“Well,” Reggie asked. “Is she right?” 

“I don’t know,” Luke admitted, deflating a bit under everyone’s scrutiny. “He never mentioned any bracelet to me.” 

“This is absurd,” Mitch snapped, waving one hand in the air as though to indicate the entire situation. “Why would she lie about something like this?” 

“Oh my,” Grandma Rose clutched at her chest. “This is all very unpleasant.” 

“See, Luke, stop it now, you’re upsetting your grandmother,” Emily scolded, fanning her mother with her hands. 

For her part Grandma Rose batted her daughter’s hands away before turning to face Julie. 

“You could prove it if you wanted to, couldn’t you, dear? Just to put us all at ease.” 

Julie’s eyes darted around the room landing on each person in turn, saving Luke for last. Her eyes narrowed slightly and she seemed to come to a decision, as though she was going to prove it out of pure spite against the way he had put her on the spot. He thought that was quite possibly accurate and swallowed harshly, not liking the way it felt to be on the receiving end of her surprisingly intimidating glare. 

Julie finally broke their eye contact,  took a deep breath and gestured towards Nick in obvious embarrassment. 

“Nick has a tattoo of the Starbucks logo on...on his butt.” 

There was a moment of long silence before everyone started talking at once. 

“No way,” Reggie said in obvious delight. 

“Why on Earth would he do that?” Mitch demanded. 

“We are never letting him live this down,” Alex laughed, holding his stomach. 

“What exactly is a Starbucks?” Grandma Rose asked. 

“It’s where Nick works,” Emily answered, her features drawn together in horror at the thought of what Julie was describing.

“About a month ago he and a couple of his coworkers were playing this game where they dare each other to do dumb things, and well, Nick lost,” Julie explained, letting the room fall back into an awkward silence as they all stared at Nick’s still sleeping form. 

“Well, I suppose someone should check,” Mitch said hesitantly, he glanced over at Luke. “You’re the one who wanted to know if Julie is telling the truth.” 

Luke immediately shook his head violently. 

“Not that bad.” 

“Oh, move out of the way,” Emily said abruptly, pushing to the front of the group. “I’m his mother, I’ll do it. Just roll him over a bit.”  

Luke cringed and averted his eyes as she lifted up the blanket while his dad pulled Nick gently to the side. 

“Oh God,” Emily breathed, straightening up suddenly. “It’s true.” 

Luke’s eyes shot over to meet Julie’s who were already trained on his face. She seemed embarrassed to have been caught looking in his direction, her gaze quickly skittering off in a different direction. 

So. 

Julie really was Nick’s fiancee. 

That should have been good news. 

It really should have. 

So why did he feel so miserable?

The night after what she would probably always think of as the ‘Starbucks Incident’, Julie found herself standing outside of the Patterson’s house yet again. She wasn’t sure why she had accepted their invitation to Friday night dinner other than the fact that the more time she spent around them the more cold and empty her apartment felt to her. The isolation she had more or less grown used to over the last year suddenly felt...unbearable. 

“We have to stop meeting like this.” 

Julie turned to see Alex strolling up the sidewalk, familiar pink hoodie and backwards hat announcing his presence. 

“Hey neighbor,” She offered with a smile. “And non-specific, adopted family member.” 

Alex’s lips quirked up at her very specific greeting. 

“Hey Nick’s fiancee,” He replied, bumping her shoulder with his playfully. 

Unfortunately his words were enough to bring Julie crashing back to Earth. 

“Alex...are you sure this isn’t going to end in disaster?” She asked a little desperately. 

Alex raised an eyebrow. 

“Julie, I’ve been dealing with generalized anxiety disorder since I was 8. I’m pretty much constantly convinced that everything is going to end in disaster.” 

“Alex....” She whined. 

He grabbed both of her shoulders and turned her to face him gently, the cold air causing little bursts of mist to escape his mouth as he spoke. 

“Ok, ok, look Julie, I wouldn’t have encouraged you to keep this going a little longer if I didn’t think it was the right thing. You’re making them happy when they need it most.” 

Julie couldn’t help but flashback to the day before and Luke’s interrogation out of nowhere. 

“Not all of them,” She grumbled. 

“All of them, “ Alex insisted. “Trust me, Luke’s just coming to terms with the fact that after all these years Nick finally won something he actually cares about.” 

Julie frowned, not following Alex’s words at all. 

“What does that mean?” 

“Nothing,” Alex shook his head and threw an arm around her shoulder, leading her determinedly toward the house. “It’s freezing out here.” 

“But Alex…” Julie tried one more time just as they reached the door. 

“Hey, you deserve to have some happiness and fun too, ok?” 

She hadn’t been expecting that. Something warm and fragile bloomed in her chest. 

“So let’s have some fun.” 

Without waiting for a response, Alex reached out and twisted the knob, leading Julie inside and into an enthusiastic welcome that didn’t leave her much time to consider his words. 

If she had expected this dinner to be similar to the one they had shared over Christmas, she couldn’t have been more wrong. It turned out that Fridays were reserved for pizza in the Patterson household and it wasn’t long before Julie found herself camped out in the living room, surrounded by the noise of the family and a teetering tower of pizza boxes. She was just recovering from a laughing fit after Reggie and Alex had teamed up to regale them with the story of the semester in middle school that Nick had decided to wear blue fuzzy ears constantly out of some misguided school spirit, when Luke dropped onto the couch next to her. Julie could feel him watching her but she stubbornly refused to acknowledge him, irrationally hurt that he had seemingly turned on her out of nowhere the day before. It wasn’t like they had known each other long enough for him to owe her any sort of loyalty and it’s not like he had been completely free of suspicion during their previous interactions. Not to mention the fact that she knew deep down he was right . She was lying to his family. She was lying to him. 

So why did it bother her so much that he clearly didn’t trust her? 

None of it made sense. Maybe she should…

“Hey,” Luke’s soft voice drew her eyes over in his direction despite her best intentions to ignore him for the rest of the evening. 

“Yes?” She asked flatly, trying to ignore the slight flutter in her chest when his eyes swept over her face, looking for who knows what with eyes as soft as his voice. 

“Come on, Julie, I’m sorry,” He said, pitching his voice even lower in an attempt to gain them some privacy. 

“Hmmm,” She recreated that annoying non-committal hum that he was so fond of in response to his apology, doing her best to hide the fact that she was already melting a bit under his sincere attention. 

“Julie,” He tried again and she couldn’t help but let her eyes drift up to lock with his. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything.” 

She broke. She couldn’t help it. Her lips tugged upwards at the corners, an almost smile appearing without her permission. 

“Anything?” 

A relieved smile spread across his face as he took in her more receptive expression. 

“Anything,” He said hurriedly. 

“I’ll take the last piece of pepperoni then,” She teased, his smile growing into a full blown grin as he clutched at his chest dramatically. 

“Ow, you really know how to hit a man where it hurts,” He joked despite the fact that he was already hopping up to cross the room and bring her the slice of pizza she had her eye on. 

She accepted it and ignored the tingles that flashed across her skin when their fingers brushed in the process. 

“I do get it,” She offered. “He’s your brother, This is your family. I’m some girl you just met. Of course you have to look out for the people you care about.” 

“Hey, I care about you too,” Luke protested. 

He seemed to realize what he had said about half a second later, his mouth opening and closing briefly as though considering taking back his words and then thinking better of it. 

“Yeah?” 

Julie couldn’t help but push him to repeat the sentiment. 

“Well, yeah,” He shrugged, that slightly cocky grin back in place. “I don’t give just anyone the last slice of pizza.” 

Julie laughed then took a big bite of the pizza in question. 

“Rub it in, why don’t you,” Luke chuckled. 

Julie had barely finished her last slice when Grandma Rose was dancing into the living room clutching two microphones in her hands. 

“Is everyone ready?” She asked enthusiastically, giving a little shimmy to emphasize her words. 

“Ready for what?” Julie responded, completely taken aback by the turn of events. 

“Friday night is karaoke night!” Reggie answered, clapping his hands in excitement. 

“Karaoke night?” Julie echoed nervously. 

“Oh yes, it’s lots of fun,” Emily answered eagerly. “Everyone has their favorites. Mitch and I like a little Sonny and Cher…” 

“And I do a mean Bohemian Rhapsody,” Alex interrupted. 

“We only let him do that a couple times a year,” Reggie stage whispered. “It’s a lot.” 

“I heard that!” Alex protested drawing a giggle out of Julie. 

“I do all the hits,’ Grandma Rose announced. “But Taylor Swift is my favorite.” 

Julie felt her eyebrows shoot up as she turned to Luke for confirmation. 

He chuckled and shook his head. 

“She keeps up with the trends.” 

“And what do you sing?” Julie asked curiously. “I figured nothing but the great Sunset Curve would meet your standards to perform.” 

Luke rolled his eyes but he was clearly enjoying her teasing. 

“You know, little of this, little of that.” 

“Enough talking, let the show begin!” Grandma Rose insisted. 

Show was definitely the right word. 

Julie laughed and smiled for an hour straight as one by one all of the Pattersons took their turn singing along to karaoke videos that Reggie pulled up on Youtube through the TV. Alex opted not to go for Bohemian Rhapsody after Reggie’s teasing, but he did a spirited version of Waving Through the Window from Dear Evan Hanson instead. Reggie followed that with his interpretation of Smells Like Teen Spirit, jumping onto the loveseat at one point while he rocked out, earning him a swat from Emily but applause and cheers from Grandma Rose and Luke. Emily and Mitch sang I Got You Babe and though Luke rolled his eyes, Julie thought it was adorable. Grandma Rose really owned the evening though with a performance of Blank Space that had Julie dancing in her seat. 

It was strange. 

Only a few days ago she could barely stand it when Flynn’s ringtone went off at work, let alone picture herself spending multiple nights in a single week surrounded by music, even if one of those nights was a family karaoke party. For more than a year every single note had felt like a dull knife prodding at her ruthlessly. But sitting here...surrounded by all the love and joy in the Patterson living room...it didn’t feel like that. It felt...it felt like coming home. 

“Julie, do you want to go next?” Grandma Rose offered, holding the microphone out in her direction expectantly. 

Julie instantly shook her head. 

“No, I don’t really...I’ll just watch. Thank you though.” 

“Come on, Julie, it will be fun!” Reggie encouraged. 

“We’re a generous audience, dear,” Emily assured her. “We never criticize even when Mitch here hits a sour note.” 

“I have a great voice,” Mitch protested but he didn’t seem truly offended. “None of you appreciate real talent.” 

“It’s up to you,” Alex broke in with a supportive smile. “No pressure.” 

“I’m pressuring,” Grandma Rose contradicted. “You’ve got the music in you, young lady, I can see it!” 

Julie shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“I…” 

“I’ll go,” Luke interrupted, jumping up and taking the mic from his grandmother. “Reg, can you pull up Finally Free?” 

Reggie saluted and reached for his phone. 

“On it!” 

“Finally Free,” Julie said quietly, not really intending anyone to hear her. “Great song.” 

Luke heard her though, of course he did. 

“I know, right?” He said wistfully. “God, I wish I wrote that.” 

Julie couldn’t help but let a small giggle escape her at that. Of course that was Luke’s reaction to an amazing song. Before Julie could tease him about the fact that not every great song in the history of the world could belong to him, the opening notes of Finally Free erupted from the TV speakers and Luke raised the mic to his lips. 

Hearts on fire

We're no liars

So we say what we wanna say

I'm awakened

No more faking

So we push all our fears away

He stood relatively still in the center of the living room, one foot bouncing a little as the first verse flowed out of him. Emily was clapping along just slightly off tempo and Mitch was bobbing his head with a goofy smile stretched across his face as he listened to his son. Grandma Rose was waving her arms back and forth as though it was a dance number even though the most danceable part of the instrumental had yet to kick in. Reggie and Alex were taking turns imitating Luke’s singing face, elbowing each other in amusement. It all should have been a little ridiculous, just a bit of comforting fun. But the truth was as soon as she heard Luke’s voice, especially singing words that were resonating with her in a way they never quite had before, she didn’t feel like she was watching a family karaoke night. She felt like she was witnessing magic . 

And she wanted to feel that magic too. 

I got a spark in me

Hands up if you can see

And you're a part of me

Hands up if you're with me

Now 'til eternity

Hands up if you believe

Been so long, and now we're finally free

Luke had moved on to the chorus and he was in full showman mode now, throwing his head back on particularly impressive notes and kicking one of his feet out to the side in the same adorable gesture she had observed during his show at The Garage. Grandma Rose was on her feet again, shaking her hips and clapping along. Emily and Mitch were shimmying from the couch and even Reggie and Alex had stopped mocking Luke long enough to bob their heads and throw some “oohs” into the mix to back up their bandmate. 

Julie for her part watched almost frozen, her eyes wide and her breathing coming slightly harsher than she was entirely comfortable admitting. She couldn’t explain her reaction rationally anymore than she could explain why she had agreed to pretend Nick was her fiance or why she had opened up to Luke more than anyone else in so long or why she wanted nothing more in the world in that moment than to grab that second mic and join him. 

Almost as though he could read her mind (again), Luke turned, his eyes locking with hers instantly. She could almost see the way his thoughts were racing even as he kept singing for all his worth. Somehow she knew he was taking into account the fact that she hadn’t wanted to sing earlier, had wanted to melt into the couch instead, a fact he had been so sure of he volunteered to save her. But she could also see that he almost instantly came to the conclusion that she wanted something different now. She saw the moment he made his decision, shooting her a wide smile as he stepped toward her. Julie’s heart hammered away in her chest as though she was about to step onto a stage in front of thousands of people not possibly be drawn into living room karaoke. 

Then there was no more time to think because he was there, right in front of her. 

I got a spark in me

He turned the mic and held it out to her and before she could consider the implications of what she was doing she echoed the line back to him. 

I got a spark in me

Luke’s whole face lit up as he yanked the mic back to sing the next line. 

And you're a part of me

Then the mic was back and Julie was singing back to him. 

And you're a part of me

Luke stepped even closer to where she still sat on the couch, the intensity in both his voice and his gaze increasing. 

Now 'til eternity

Julie leaned forward even more and put her all into the last echo, taking the next line too before Luke could pull the mic away. 

Now 'til eternity

Been so long, and now we're finally free

Luke didn’t seem to mind, only grinning wider and holding out his free hand not holding the mic to tug her to her feet. Julie went willingly, not releasing his hand until he had led her to the center of the living room where he spun her once for good measure as they both sang the chorus. Julie leaned back into the mic once she had recovered from the dizzy elation that came from the heady combination of spinning and allowing herself to sing again after so long. After the last chorus Luke shoved the mic into her hand to finish them off with a nod and a bite of his lip that definitely didn’t leave Julie a little weak in the knees. 

She pitched her voice higher and added some runs for the final few words of the song, too wrapped up in the music to feel any embarrassment over going all out for karaoke. 

Finally free

Yeah

The music faded away and there was a brief moment of silence before the room erupted into noise again, this time from the Pattersons exclaiming over her voice. 

“Julie, why didn’t you tell us you could sing like that!” Reggie enthused, jumping up to grab her arms and give her an excited little shake. 

“You can’t shake the talent out of her, Reg,” Alex chastised. “But yeah, that was incredible.” 

“I told you I saw the music in you,” Grandma Rose said smugly. “I have a sense for these things.” 

“Well, you were certainly right, in this case” Mitch agreed. 

“That was wonderful,” Emily seconded with an excited clap of her hands. “You should sing with the boys and their little band sometime.” 

“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Julie started to protest only for Luke to interrupt. 

“Anytime,” He told her, their eyes locking intensely. “That was...Julie, you’re a human wrecking ball.” 

Julie smiled softly at his choice of metaphor. 

“You make me sound violent.” 

“Well, Luke does look like you just hit him upside the head,” Reggie observed. “Ow!” 

Alex had slapped his friend’s arm, leaving Reggie rubbing it while he pouted. 

Julie laughed at their antics. 

“Well, when Nick wakes up maybe you can sing a song together for all of us,” Emily suggested. “Maybe we could have an engagement party and you two could play for us, oh wouldn’t that be lovely?”

All of the sudden the reason why she was there with them came crashing back down on Julie and she desperately needed some air. Everything felt like it was falling into place for her, like bricks stacking up neatly towards the sky. She felt welcomed and loved and she wasn’t lonely. She felt like music was closer than it had been in so long, almost within her grasp. She felt like she had found a kindred spirit in Luke, someone who just... got it . Someone who just got her. But the problem was this tower she was building was built on the sand. 

And as soon as Nick woke up it would all come crashing down. 

“I um...I better be getting home,” Julie announced, aware that her statement had to sound incredibly abrupt. “I’m pretty tired.” 

“I’ll drive you,” Luke offered instantly but Julie was shaking her head as soon as he spoke. 

“That’s ok, I can just order an Uber,” Julie tried only to be quickly shot down. 

“Don’t be silly,” Emily insisted. “We’ll feel much better if you let Luke drive you.” 

Julie sighed. She was pretty sure this was a battle she wasn’t going to win. 

“Ok,” She agreed reluctantly, reaching over to grab her coat. “Thanks.” 

“We’ll walk you out,” Emily said, standing and heading in the direction of the door. 

“You really don’t have to...ok,” Julie sighed again, watching as the entire Patterson brood stood and traipsed toward the door. 

Luke rolled his eyes and exchanged an exasperated look with Julie before placing his hand gently against her lower back and guiding her after them. Julie tried not to focus on the point of contact between them but it was hard when it felt like his touch was burning a hole through all of her heavy winter layers. When they reached the entranceway Julie said her goodbyes, everyone insisting on offering her a hug and warm wishes that they see her again soon. It was lovely but it wasn’t exactly helping in her efforts to make a quick escape. Just when she thought she and Luke were finally free of the extended parting, Grandma Rose clapped her hands and pointed to the doorway they stood in. 

“Look, you’re under the mistletoe!” 

Julie let her eyes trail upwards in horror, realizing that Grandma Rose wasn’t wrong. There was indeed a bundle of mistletoe hanging in the entrance to the house. 

“Well, go on, give her a kiss,” Mitch suggested jovially. 

“Those are the rules,” Reggie agreed. 

“I don’t…” Luke sputtered a bit, glancing back and forth between Julie and his eagerly waiting family. “ That’s not…” 

Julie jumped in to try to put them off before the situation could get anymore out of hand. 

“Who really observes that tradition anyway?” She asked with an awkward chuckle. 

“We do,” Grandma Rose said firmly. “Oh, it’s just a peck, kiss her you fool!” 

“Mother!” Emily scolded. “It’s just a bit of holiday cheer, but I suppose if you two really don’t want to do it that’s perfectly alright.” 

She said it was perfectly alright but her expression told a different story. 

Luke sighed and turned to face Julie. 

“I won’t if you don’t want to but it’s just a peck,” He leaned in to whisper. “It might be the only thing that shuts them up.” 

“Well, I guess we better do it then,” She whispered back, hoping he couldn’t hear the way her heart was pounding in her chest. 

Luke leaned in slowly and the last thing Julie heard before his lips made contact with hers was a sarcastic statement from Alex. 

“Kissing your brother’s fiancee under the mistletoe, what could go wrong?” 

Normally she would have agreed with him, especially given the fact that she was his brother’s fake fiancee, but she didn’t have much room for any thoughts at all once Luke’s lips pressed softly against hers. He had promised it would be just a peck and technically he was true to his word but though the press of their lips remained innocent...he also didn’t pull back as quickly as he could have. Then again...neither did Julie. She was too focused on the physical jolt of electricity that seemed to course through her while they kissed, the way every atom of her body was crying out for her to reach out and pull him just that little bit closer so they could have a proper kiss…

Then as quickly as it started it was over and Julie and Luke were staring at each other with wide, embarrassed eyes while the watching family clapped and cheered. Luke recovered slightly before Julie did, reaching up to rub awkwardly at the back of his head with one hand as he yanked open the door with the other. 

“Ok, ok, we hear you, you’re all the worst, you know that?” He called back at his family even as he ushered Julie outside. 

“You know you love us!” Reggie called after them, prompting Julie to laugh and shake her head she and Luke made their way over to his truck. 

It wasn’t until they were both inside and heading towards her apartment that either of them gathered the courage to actually speak to each other. 

“So...I feel like we should talk about what happened back there,” Luke started, his fingers doing that thing where they tapped out a rhythm on the steering wheel again. 

Julie froze, clenching her fingers where they rested on her knees as she racked her brain for what to say in response to that .

“There’s nothing to talk about,” She settled on finally, hoping her voice sounded more steady than it felt. “Like you said it was just a peck, some dumb tradition.” 

“What?” Luke’s head jerked over in her direction, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “No, not...not the kiss…” 

Julie felt an instant blush rise up onto her cheeks and was grateful that it was probably too dark in the truck for it to be visible. 

“I meant we should talk about that power of yours,” Luke continued, his voice sounding a little bit affected by the mention of their kiss too. “Your voice , Juliie! You need to know how insanely talented you are.” 

“Oh,” Julie said, her voice suddenly small. “That.” 

“Yeah, that!” Luke echoed incredulously. “Please tell me you’re not planning to hide that voice away forever.”

Julie sighed and reached up to tuck some hair behind her ear, spending several long seconds trying to gather her thoughts before she answered. 

“After my mom died, music just didn’t feel the same,” She admitted, her throat suddenly feeling tight, like she had to force the words out. “It didn’t make me happy anymore, it just...it just hurt.”

Luke glanced over at her, his eyes soft and searching in the low light of the truck. 

“I don’t think your mom would want you to give up something you love,” He observed carefully. “And...it didn’t seem like it hurt tonight.” 

Julie swallowed hard, suddenly finding herself struggling to blink back tears at the thought that the circumstances that allowed her to sing that night couldn’t possibly last. 

“No,” She said finally. “It didn’t hurt tonight.” 

Luke seemed to sense that she needed a distraction from the heavy topic and so he launched immediately into a one sided game of 20 questions, asking her question after question that she found herself answering even more easily than when Reggie had tried it the day before. 

“So where did you grow up?” He landed on eventually. 

“Wow, you really have become Mr. Chatty tonight,” Julie observed, even though the truth was she didn’t mind at all. “I’m from California, Los Angeles.”  

“The city of angels!” Luke practically crowed. “I always wanted to end up there.” 

“You still could,” Julie pointed out. “It’s not like your life is over.” 

“Yeah,” Luke said, something sad in his voice as though he didn’t quite believe her. “Maybe.” 

Before Julie could push back at him the way he was so fond of doing to her he was changing the subject. 

“Do you write songs?”

He asked it so quickly and matter of factly that she didn’t have time to think of an answer other than the truth. 

“I used to,” She admitted. “With my mom. We had this one song we were working on right up until...well, we never finished it. It just doesn’t feel right. Finishing it alone.” 

Luke took her by surprise by reaching out to brush his fingers gently over hers, retracting them before she had a chance to react but leaving hers tingling. 

“I get that,” He said gently. “But maybe it’s a way to keep her memory alive, you know?”

This time it was Julie’s turn to echo his response from a few minutes earlier. 

“Yeah,” She said hesitantly. “Maybe.” 

Before either of them could bring up another sore subject, they reached their destination and Luke eased the truck over to the side of the street.

“I’ll walk you to your door,” He offered, already reaching for the door handle. 

“You really don’t have to,” Julie argued, though her words didn’t seem to slow him at all as he opened the door and hopped out of the truck. 

Luke shrugged. 

“I’ve come this far, might as well go all the way.” 

Julie raised an eyebrow at that, a gesture he clearly caught in the glow of the streetlights if his reaction was anything to go by. He hurried to clarify what he had just said, tripping over his words and only managing to make it sound even more suggestive. 

“I just meant we should go all the way, not...all the way in...not in ...just into  your apartment. Not that you’re inviting me into your apartment! To your door! I might as well go all the way to your door, with you...to the...door.” 

Luke trailed off, his eyes wide and horrified as he no doubt did a mental rewind of all of the things he had just said. Julie for her part couldn’t help but burst out laughing, leaning over slightly as a deep laugh she could feel all the way from her chest to her toes ripped through her. It felt so good to laugh like that. She couldn’t remember the last time she had. When she finally recovered enough to sit up she caught a brief glimpse of Luke watching her with a soft smile and even softer eyes before he realized he had been caught and jerked his head away. 

“Glad you found that funny,” He muttered good naturedly. 

“I did,” She replied smugly, opening her own door and hopping out of the truck. “Whoa!” 

She hadn’t been expecting for the ground to be coated with a slick coat of ice, though she really should have been. They were deep into the Chicago winter after all and Caleb wasn’t exactly known for keeping up with building upkeep. It was like the whole place was stuck in the past. She just wished that didn’t extend to his seeming inability to salt the sidewalk and courtyard properly. 

“Careful!” Luke warned, hurrying over from the other side of the truck to place a steadying hand on her elbow. “Now I really have to walk you to the door. Emily will kill me if you break something falling on the ice.” 

Julie couldn’t help but continue teasing him a little. 

“And you’re an expert in not falling on the ice?” 

Luke scoffed, puffing up his chest proudly. 

“Julie, no offense but you were born in California. I was born right here in Chicago. I’ve been walking on ice since before I could walk.” 

Julie rolled her eyes. 

“That doesn’t even make any sense.” 

“The point is I won’t let you fall,” He insisted. 

Julie smiled at his sincerity and the way it shone through even his bluster and overconfidence. She was starting to realize that all of those things together were the parts that made up Luke and it was a mixture she was growing increasingly fond of. 

“Ok,” She told him, her smile still firmly in place. “I’ve decided to trust you.” 

He grinned and used his hand to lead her gently by the elbow across the courtyard and towards the door to her building. 

“You won’t regret it.” 

They made slow progress, Julie insisting on taking cautious, penguin like steps though Luke didn’t seem concerned. 

“So,” Julie started, her eyes trained firmly on her feet. “Are you going to go see Nick tomorrow?”

“I think so...whoa oh!”

Luke lost his footing and spun in a half circle, latching onto Julie in a desperate bid to stay standing. When he came to a stop his head was tucked against her shoulder and one arm was wrapped tightly around her back. Julie for her part had instinctively wrapped both of her arms around his shoulders in an effort to keep them both from toppling over. She immediately started laughing, the vibration of her amusement traveling through them both as Luke slowly stood straight and loosened his hold on her. 

“I got it, I got it,” He insisted. 

“Are you sure? Do not take me with you!” Julie managed to get out through another fit of laughter. 

She may have let her mirth get the best of her just a bit because one instant she was balanced perfectly fine and the next her own feet were sliding out from under her. 

“Ugh!” She grunted in distress as she plummeted toward the ground, almost landing hard but Luke managed to grab her under the arms at the last moment. 

They were both laughing so hard now that they were running out of air, their laughter turning into almost silent gasping and shaking. Julie reached up to latch onto Luke’s generous forearms and turn herself around, hauling herself upwards using his body. She made it about halfway before her feet started to slip again and Luke grunted as he heaved her back up. 

“This...this is bad,” He managed to get out between laughs and grunts. “This is so bad.” 

Julie made it back to her feet, her arms still wrapped around his shoulders for stability. They continued to chuckle into each other’s faces for a few moments until Julie slipped again, this time sliding even closer to Luke, their faces only a breath apart. They made startled eye contact for a moment before Luke’s eyes dropped down and landed on her lips. Julie felt the tiniest of gasps escape her against her will. 

She wasn’t the most confident person in the world, at least not since the last year had left her feeling so adrift in so many ways. She wasn’t the type of person to assume that every guy wanted to kiss her and she certainly wasn’t someone who would presume Luke in particular was interested in that. As far as he knew she was practically a stranger, a stranger who was engaged to his brother. And yet…

The way they had connected. 

The way they both felt music the way some people felt the snow, or the rain or the sun. 

The way they sang together. 

The way that harmless little peck they had shared out of some dumb tradition had felt like so much more. 

Julie knew none of that necessarily meant anything, she knew that in the situation she was in it couldn’t mean anything. But the way that Luke was staring back at her, his eyes traveling slowly from her lips back up to her eyes...it made her believe, just for a moment, that maybe it could. 

“Are you, uh...you alright?” Luke asked softly. 

“Yeah,” Julie practically whispered back. 

If she had harbored any secret hopes that he was about to kiss her they were dashed when he stepped back slightly, keeping a firm grip on her arms but putting definite space between them. 

“I think we’re good now,” He said. “Let’s just move this way.” 

He released her except for one hand still wrapped around her elbow and together they waddled a few steps in the direction of the door before Luke again lost his footing and this time there was no saving it. He tumbled to the ground, pulling Julie with him until they were both flat on their backs as the ice and snow seeped through their clothes. 

“Ow,” Luke groaned. 

“Trust you, huh?” Julie teased as she slowly sat up. “Won’t let me fall, right?”

Luke managed to raise himself to a sitting position as well, wincing as he rubbed at his arm. 

“I might have been just a little too confident.” 

“You think?” Julie asked, but she couldn’t help but grin even as she said it. “Come on, give me your hand. This California girl is going to get you to safety.” 

Luke chuckled and shook his head but he took her hand and she pulled, the two of them managing to make it to their feet together. Luckily their fall this time had slid them close enough to a patch of snow that they finally felt like they had solid ground under their feet. 

“I think I can take it from here,” Julie told him. 

“Well, I’ll wait until you get inside,” Luke countered, that soft look back in his eyes. 

Julie forced herself to look away, pretending that she needed to focus on her feet again even though that wasn’t really necessary at this point. 

“Ok, goodnight then,” She said, risking one more glance at his face as she backed away slowly. “I had fun tonight. Surprisingly. And some of that was because of you so...just thanks.” 

Luke smirked and her heart thudded painfully in her chest. 

“I’m pretty sure all of it was because of me.” 

Julie rolled her eyes and turned away to face her building, inserting her key in the lock and calling back at him over her shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Luke.” 

His answer was uncharacteristically quiet as she opened the door and stepped into the warm glow of the entranceway but she managed to pick it out just the same. 

“Goodnight, Julie.” 

“You still haven’t told me who that guy is,” Kayla’s voice floated down the stairs. 

“Ahhh!” Julie let out a little shriek and clutched at her chest before stomping her way up the stairs towards the other girl. “Stop doing that! I’m serious.” 

She pushed past Kayla but the other girl didn’t seem deterred. 

“I really hope you aren’t throwing away what you have with Caleb over some random guy.” 

Julie let out a groan of frustration as she shoved her key into the lock of her apartment door. 

“For the last time, Kayla! There is nothing between me and Caleb. He’s my landlord and you are the worst neighbor ever!” 

She slammed the door in the other girl’s face and flopped back against the door. 

“Meow!”

Julie glanced down at her cat who sat staring up at her as though he knew she was digging herself deeper and deeper into an increasingly ridiculous situation. 

“I know, Meow. I know.” She sighed. “Trust me, I know.” 

He meowed pointedly at her again and Julie chose to interpret it as a request for food and not as further commentary on her life, despite the cat’s incredible ability to make her feel he was doing just that. She topped off the food in his bowl and then hurried off to take a shower, away from the judgement of cats and hopefully her own thoughts. 

She didn’t see Luke or any of the Pattersons for a few days after that, partially because she was incredibly busy, working several long shifts, and partially by design. Things with Luke had started to feel a little too easy, a little too comfortable, a little too good . Combined with how quickly she was coming to depend on the warm, family feelings she found with the Pattersons it was just getting out of hand. She had been so sure that Nick would wake up quickly and that the decision of when to end all of this would be made for her before she got in too deep. The longer that didn’t happen the more feelings of fear and guilt and...and...longing sprung up inside of her. 

She needed a break. 

She needed a distraction. 

Luckily, Flynn had a solution at the ready. 

“Come to my New Year’s Eve party tonight,” She ordered, her tone leaving little room for argument. “It will be fun, Jules! You need fun in your life.” 

“I have fun in my life,” Julie grumbled, more just to at least keep up the illusion that she didn’t lead a pathetic existence than because she believed it. 

Flynn fixed her with a pointed look. 

“Hanging out with your cat does not count as fun and neither does whatever nonsense you have going on with Luke and his family.” 

“Nick,” Julie corrected. 

“Which is the one you sang with?” Flynn asked with a frown. 

“Luke,” Julie acknowledged. 

“And that’s not the one you’re fake engaged to?” Flynn followed up, her frown only deepening. 

“No,” Julie explained with a cringe. “That’s his brother Nick.” 

“But you like Luke,” Flynn pointed out. 

“I...I might,” Julie admitted. 

Flynn shook her head, her hair whipping back and forth as she expressed her displeasure with Julie’s situation. 

“You know they have doctors for this kind of thing right?”

“Ugh, shut up,” Julie groaned, burying her face in her hands. 

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry,” Flynn said, reaching out to pat Julie on the back until she raised her head. “But now I’m definitely making you come to my party. This is a ‘fun needed’ emergency.” 

“Fine,” Julie sighed. “I’ll stop by but I’m not promising I’ll be there all night.” 

“Great!” Flynn said triumphantly, grinning and flipping her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll see you tonight at 9.” 

“You’re very pushy today,” Julie observed. 

Flynn only grinned wider.

“You’re welcome.” 

“Dude, you need to chill.” 

Luke rolled his eyes and continued plucking away at his guitar, trying to work out the right chord for a song they were playing around with, maybe a little more aggressively than was strictly necessary. 

“I am chill.” 

His statement was immediately undermined by the way he slammed his fingers across the strings in frustration.

“Uh huh, super chill,” Reggie observed. “You want to tell me what’s up before you break your strings? Or worse I tell Alex you need an emotional check in.” 

“I don’t need an emotional check in,” Luke insisted, reaching over to rest his guitar on the stand waiting nearby. “I’m just a little worried about Julie.”  

He glanced over just in time to see Reggie’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. 

“A few days ago weren’t you trying to prove she was a liar in front of your whole family?”

Luke scoffed as he flopped back against the couch. 

“I was just being cautious.” 

“And now you’re just being worried,” Reggie repeated skeptically. 

“Just a bit,” Luke admitted. “It’s just that none of us have heard from her for a few days.” 

“She’s probably just busy,” Reggie shrugged. “And with everything with Nick and the baby…”

Luke shot up as though he had been electrocuted, his hair flopping against his forehead in his hurry. 

“What baby?”

Reggie’s eyes widened as he realized exactly what he had said. 

“Did I say baby? Forget I said anything.” 

“Reggie!” Luke snapped. 

“Ok, ok,” He sighed. “When I ran into her while she was working the other day her friend said something about needing to tell Nick about a baby as soon as he woke up. She doesn’t know I overheard so please don’t say anything.”

“She can’t...that can’t...they can’t…” Luke sputtered, his brain cycling through all of the scenarios he didn’t want to accept as possibly being true at record speed. 

Reggie sighed again. 

“You’re definitely going to say something, aren’t you?”

Luke shook his head even as he resolved to do just that inside his mind. 

“I should check on her though, let her know she has our support.” 

“I guess this is why you should have gotten her number,” Reggie observed.

Luke’s eyes widened at his friend's comment. 

“I...why would I...she’s Nick’s fiancee.” 

Reggie frowned. 

“I just meant so you could text and ask if she’s ok. What did you mean?”

Luke hurried to dismiss his friend’s train of thought before he accidentally stumbled any closer to the truth.

“Nothing.” 

Reggie gave one more sigh, this one so deep that it would have sounded more familiar coming from Alex than Luke’s usually lighthearted cousin. 

“I don’t want to know.” 

Luke couldn’t blame him. 

He wasn’t sure he wanted to know about the mess he found himself in either. 

Julie stood in front of the mirror hanging on the back of her closet door, examining herself critically. 

It had been a long time since she had a reason to dress up and she felt a little uncomfortable out of her standard jeans, tugging almost continuously on the skirt of the dress she wore. Of course, it wasn’t just the fact that she was wearing a dress that left her a little uncomfortable, it was the fact that she was wearing her mom’s dress. She hadn’t been able to so much as open the trunk of clothes that had belonged to her mom, let alone wear any of the items it held, until today when she had finally felt a surge of courage that allowed her to look inside. The dress she was wearing had been right on top, folded neatly and waiting for her to reach out and stroke a finger across it’s soft fabric. So Julie had put it on, and despite the fact that she felt a little awkward in it...she had to admit that she looked good. 

The dress was a little old fashioned, a leftover from the 90s made of purple velvet that had long sleeves which ended just before her shoulders. The deep purple fabric fit snugly against her curves, ending just above her knees. Julie had thrown on some tights underneath to help stave off the cold Chicago air and a pair of her mom’s old black boots that she hoped walked the line between functional and stylish even if they clashed with the dress a bit. She had even taken the time to twist one side of her hair, pinning it behind her ear with a sparkly clip and letting the curls cascade down behind it. 

She wasn’t sure why she had put so much effort into her appearance when she didn’t even plan to stay at the party long, when she wouldn’t even know anyone there other than Flynn. Maybe it was just because it was New Year’s Eve and she found herself in the surprising position of actually feeling like she had something to look forward to. She knew it wasn’t true, that the magic of the last few days was an illusion that would soon fade away, but still. None of that changed how it felt like she was finally awake .

Julie slipped on her heavy winter coat, unwilling to suffer the cold of the night in order to preserve her look, and paused only long enough to give Meow a quick pet before leaving her apartment. She made it outside and a few steps into the courtyard when she heard someone calling her name, and it wasn’t Kayla for once. 

“Julie!” 

She turned to see Caleb hurrying out of the apartment building behind her, jogging to catch up to her. 

“Hi Caleb,” She offered distractedly. “Happy New Year! I’m actually on my way to a party so…” 

“This won’t take long,” He said dismissively, waving a hand as though to ward off her attempt to escape the conversation. “I’ve been trying to track you down to tell you I saw your photo in that article.” 

“Oh,” Julie hadn’t been expecting that. “You saw that, huh?” 

“Julie, you know I know everything that happens in this town,” He scoffed. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a brush with death!” 

“Well, um...thank you for your concern,” Julie said hurriedly, the cold air starting to seep through her coat. “But I’m fine, really.” 

Caleb looked confused by her statement. 

“Well, of course you are. But you’re not taking full advantage of the situation. That article didn’t even have your name! You could be using your newfound fame to become an influencer, get some sponsorships. At the very least you could get the lead in an amateur theatre production!” 

Julie struggled to keep her expression neutral. Of course those were the things Caleb would think should be her priorities. He really was a character. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” She offered, a small amused smile on her face. 

“You do that. Let me know if you need any advice, I’ve dabbled in Youtube myself.” 

“Ok, well, I’ve really got to...umph!” 

Julie’s goodbye was cut off when Caleb pulled her into a tight hug, rocking her back and forth slightly almost as though they were dancing. 

“Oh, dear, sweet, Julie. Enjoy your little party. And let me know when you want to be a star!” 

He pulled back and Julie reeled for a moment, her eyes wide with surprise. 

“Ok, well, I really have to go now, bye!” 

She turned and hurried across the courtyard grateful that the ice which had coated its surface had improved at least slightly, allowing her to escape from Caleb’s attention without ending up falling yet again. She had just stepped onto the sidewalk when she heard her name being called again. 

“Hey, Julie!” 

“Ugh, what now?” She exclaimed, whipping around to find an abashed looking Luke. “Oh.” 

“Oh,” He echoed. “Oh is what you say when someone shows up at your door to try to convert you to their religion, not when your favorite local rockstar comes over to check on you.” 

Julie just stared at him for a moment while she tried to catch up to what exactly was going on. She had been avoiding him for several days, and now here he was, appearing in front of her like a mirage both welcome and unwelcome at the same time. He wore a jean jacket with a fuzzy fleece collar and a different beanie, this one grey. He looked...good. 

That wasn’t a helpful thought. 

“Sorry, just I wasn’t expecting you,” Julie explained. “I’m actually on my way to my...well to my friend Flynn’s party.” 

“Oh, well hop in, I’ll give you a ride,” Luke offered, stepping back to his truck and opening the passenger door invitingly. 

“It’s really not far,” Julie insisted, jerking her thumb in the direction she had been walking. 

Luke didn’t seem deterred by that information. 

“Let me give you a ride,” He repeated, standing expectantly by the open door. 

Julie sighed and walked over to his side. 

“But it’s really not far though,” She argued lamely without any real expectation that it was a fight she could win. 

“I don’t mind,” Luke said, gripping her elbow and helping her into the truck which was odd as he’d never done it before. 

He jogged over to the other side of the truck and then they were off, heading down the street, a slightly awkward silence settling between them. 

Luke was the first to break it because of course he was. 

“So, how are you feeling?”

Julie frowned. 

How was she supposed to be feeling?

“Fine…” She said slowly. “How are you feeling?”

Luke glanced over in her direction and bit his lip before returning his eyes to the road. 

“I’m good, definitely, totally good.” 

Julie raised an eyebrow at that. 

“Well, as long as you’re sure. Oh, this is Flynn’s place!”

Luke hit the brakes a little abruptly.

“Oh,” He said with surprise, leaning forward to peer over at the house Flynn shared with a few roommates. “That really wasn’t far.” 

“Well, thanks for the ride,” Julie said, reaching for the door handle in preparation to flee the truck and the awkwardness but she hesitated at the last second. “You wouldn’t want to come in for a minute, would you?”

She watched as several emotions raced over Luke’s face too quickly for her to determine what exactly they were. 

“Never mind, just forget it, I’m sure you have somewhere to be,” She said in a rush. 

“No!” Luke interrupted hurriedly before continuing in a more calm tone. “I mean, I’d love to. Just let me park this thing.” 

The next thing that Julie knew, she and Luke were standing on Flynn’s front steps waiting for the hostess to come and open the door. She wasn’t sure what had possessed her to invite Luke to the party other than the horrible, terrifying, inescapable truth that over the last few days they had spent apart...she had missed him. 

Luckily the door swung open before she could examine that thought any further. Less luckily it swung open to reveal Flynn who instantly eyed Luke from head to toe. 

“Is this...did your fiance wake up?” Flynn asked, spinning to face Julie with a raised eyebrow. “And he’s...with you...here.” 

Julie felt a blush spread across her cheeks and saw Luke shifting awkwardly out of the corner of her eyes. 

“Actually, this is Nick’s brother, Luke. Luke, this is my friend from work, Flynn.” 

Flynn’s eyebrow somehow managed to inch even closer to her hairline. 

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever actually called me your friend. Well, come in! We’ll have a lot to talk about later,” She said that last part directly to Julie who widened her eyes in yet another attempt to signal for the other girl to be quiet. “Just throw your coat on that hook there, there you go.” 

Julie was so preoccupied with how Flynn had almost just exposed the whole sad, complicated charade she had been living for the past week it didn’t even occur to her to be self conscious about Luke seeing her in her mom’s dress. As soon as she had her coat off though she couldn’t exactly ignore his reaction. He was staring at her with his mouth slightly ajar, blinking a little stupidly as he took her in. 

“Julie, you look...incredible,” He announced, his voice coming out slightly choked leading to him clearing his throat hurriedly. 

Julie couldn’t help but grin. 

Ok, whether it should be or not that was satisfying. 

“Thanks,” She said softly, holding her hands out as though to say a silent “ta da”. “Shall we?” 

She pointed further into the party and Luke nodded jerkily, following her through the crowd of people she didn’t know and over to a table in the corner where an array of snacks and drinks was spread out. Julie made a beeline for the punch at the end, her throat dry from the anxiety and her nerves just fried enough that a strong beverage sounded like an absolute godsend. She grabbed the ladle that rested on the table and scooped a generous portion of the bright pink punch into a plastic cup, taking a large gulp by the time Luke had caught up to her. 

“You know that’s spiked, right?” Luke demanded, his eyes wide with misplaced concern. 

Julie nodded even as she took another large sip. 

“Thank God.” 

“So don’t you think you should lay off of it?” Luke continued, fingers flexing at his side as though he was tempted to reach out and take it from her directly. 

Julie frowned. This wasn’t exactly how she had pictured things going when she worked up the nerve to invite Luke to come with her. 

“Why?” She asked incredulously. “It’s one drink, it’s New Year’s.” 

Luke looked as shocked by her answer as she was shocked by his behavior. 

“Because…” 

Julie could barely hear him over the sounds of the party, a fact Luke seemed to realize as he raised his voice to be heard. 

“Because...it’s not good for the baby!” 

Unfortunately the moment he chose to practically shout that statement was the same moment that Flynn had turned down the music in order to make a toast. The consequence of that excessively poor timing was that Luke shouted into an almost completely silent room, every head in the place swiveling to take in the very, very awkward conversation happening next to the refreshments. 

“I’m sorry...what?” Julie demanded, her cheeks glowing neon with embarrassment and anger. “You know what? Don’t answer that.” 

She spun on her heels ignoring the way that he called after her, brushing past a worried Flynn and only pausing at the door long enough to throw on her coat before stomping outside and away from the scene of the most mortifying moment of her life so far. 

“Julie!” Luke called from somewhere behind her, a sound she determinedly ignored as she hustled back down the street to her own apartment building. 

“Julie!”

Unfortunately the next time Luke called out to her it was from much closer. He clearly had run a little to catch up to her, if the way he was panting slightly was any indication. 

“Julie, will you please wait a second,” He begged. 

Against her better judgement, she slowed her steps, and turned to face him, just on the edge of her apartment’s courtyard. 

“Thanks,” He huffed. “I would have caught up to you sooner but that Flynn girl cornered me and told me she would kill me if I didn’t make things right with you.” 

Julie couldn’t help but smile slightly at that. 

That did sound like Flynn. 

“Well, prepare to be murdered,” She said flatly. “Because I’m not sure how you can make announcing my supposed pregnancy to a room full of people right.” 

“That was a mistake,” Luke insisted, holding his hands up in surrender. 

“Yeah, I hope so,” Julie snapped. “Seeing how I’m not even pregnant.” 

That seemed to take Luke by surprise. 

“You’re not?”

Julie threw her hands up in frustration. 

“Of course not! Why would you even think that?”

“It’s just that Reggie said…” 

“Reggie said I was pregnant?” Julie interrupted, her frustration seeping into every word. “And you didn’t for one second think that source was questionable?”

Luke bobbed his head as though thinking it over. 

“Ok, well you make a good point but…” 

“But what, Luke?” Julie interrupted again, what little patience she had for the conversation wearing increasingly thin. “You thought your brother would only be with someone like me if I was pregnant?”

Luke took two quick steps until he stood directly in front of her. 

“Hey, Julie, no , that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just Reggie was talking some nonsense and then I came over to check on you and I saw you looking pretty cozy with some guy and…”

“ What ?” Julie said, her voice going a little high and squeaky as her anger and confusion reached new heights. “You mean...Caleb? He’s my landlord, you idiot.” 

“Ok but…” Luke looked like he wished he was anywhere else but also like he couldn’t stop himself from pressing on with the discussion either. “What about the leaning thing?”

Julie couldn’t stop a burst of incredulous laughter from escaping at that. 

“What leaning thing? We talked, we were talking, and then he hugged me. That’s all.” 

Luke shook his head, taking another step closer. 

“He might have hugged you but you were leaning. Leaning is a lot different from hugging.” 

Julie laughed again, nothing but bitterness behind it now. 

“Ok, why don’t you explain it to me then, the Luke Patterson school of leaning.” 

Luke’s eyes flashed with something intense and he moved even further into her space slowly. 

“Hugging is all arms and hands, you can hug your dad, but leaning? Leaning is two people, moving in, kinda like I’m doing.” 

Julie was suddenly very aware that she had ended up against the outer wall of her apartment building, no idea just how close she was until she suddenly felt the cold bricks against her back as Luke leaned in to surround her. One of his arms came up to brace on the wall beside her head and Julie had to fight to maintain the defiant eye contact she had been so determined to hold a moment ago. 

“Leaning involves wanting...and accepting...just like this…” 

He was only a breath away now, and his eyes darted down to rest on her lips, just like they had after the two of them had slid comically around on the ice. 

She was so, so mad at him. That didn’t stop a part of her from wishing he would close that tiny gap and show her what it felt like to kiss him for real. 

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how she looked at it, a voice called across the courtyard to interrupt them right at that moment. 

“You ok over there, Julie?” Kayla shouted. “I’ve got pepper spray in my purse.” 

Julie sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose. What else could possibly go wrong that night?

“Yeah, I’m fine,” She called back to Kayla in exasperation. 

“Are you sure?” Kayla answered, clearly not taking the hint. “It looked like he was doing that leaning thing. Ok, ok, just let me know if you change your mind. I’ve been wanting to try this stuff out.” 

Luke jabbed his finger in a retreating Kayla’s direction. 

“See, she gets it!” 

“Well, I don’t get it, Luke,” Julie said, her voice exhausted and a little more emotion tinged than she wanted to admit as she pushed past him and took a few steps backwards across the courtyard. “I don’t get why you ask me a million questions trying to trip me up one day and then act like I mean something to you the next. I don’t get why you show up at my apartment just to accuse me of being a cheater. And I don’t get...I don’t get why you find it so hard to believe that Nick would want to be with me.” 

The hurt had fully seeped into her voice by the end of her speech and she hated that he clearly heard it. He crossed the distance between them, his mouth opening and shutting a couple of times as he searched for a response. 

“Look, it’s not like that. You and Nick are a really nice idea, it's just not...obvious. You just aren’t his…” 

“His type?” Julie interrupted. “Wow, we’ve really come a long way from ‘I have a hard time believing you wouldn’t be anyone’s type’, huh?”

“Julie…” Luke tried, but she only held up a hand to ward him off and backed up a little more. 

“Why did you come here, Luke?” She asked, tiredly. “To try to catch me in a lie again?”

“I was just worried about you,” He protested, those wide, sad eyes almost enough to weaken her resolve. 

“Well, I’m fine,” She said flatly. “So you can leave now.” 

Luke finally seemed to have reached his limit too, frustration seeping into every word as he spoke again. 

“You’re not fine, Julie,” He said firmly. “The only friend you ever talk about just said you’ve never even called her your friend. You don’t let yourself do the one thing that you were born to do, the one thing that could actually make you happy. Only you don’t want to be happy, do you? Because if you’re happy then you’re betraying your mom. But that’s not true and you’re not fine .”

Julie stared in disbelief as his words washed over her, the combination of astute observations and harsh tone causing her heart to clench painfully in her chest. 

“Oh, and you’re an expert on being fine, right?” She shot back, unable to reign in the painful truths she knew would hurt him back. “Because the last I checked you were pretending music was a hobby, sleeping in your childhood bedroom and refusing to tell the people closest to you what you really want. When are you going to tell your dad you want to leave the business, huh?”

Luke didn’t respond, but his expression said it all. He looked like she had slapped him. 

Julie shook her head. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

She spun on her heels and pulled her key out of her coat pocket, jamming it into the lock and yanking the door open with force. She knew that Luke was following her inside and up the stairs but she didn’t turn to acknowledge him. 

“Hey, what do you know about my family?” He demanded. “You’ve known them for a week.” 

Julie unlocked the door to her apartment, finally turning to face him. 

“I know that you’re lucky enough to have them. Here, with you. Living in the same house and wanting nothing more than for you to be happy. So why are you acting like you’re like me?”

Luke frowned and his voice was soft when he responded. 

“And what are you?”

Julie managed a small, infinitely sad smile as she pushed her door open and started to slide inside. 

“Alone.” 

Then she shut the door between them and tried not to think about the multiple levels on which that was true. 

The last thing Julie thought she would be doing after that horrific New Year’s Eve was spending any time in the presence of Luke or his family or anyone at all honestly. Her plan for New Year’s Day involved nothing more than a day spent holed up in her apartment, cuddling with Meow and doing her best to forget the events of the last week altogether. 

That was before she got the frantic call from Emily, so overcome by emotion that Julie could barely understand what she was saying only that she was telling her to meet them at the hospital. Julie didn’t understand what was going on. She didn’t even understand how Emily had gotten her phone number. But despite all of her misgivings and guilt and the lingering pain of the night before...Julie understood that at this point she wasn’t going to ignore that plea from someone who had welcomed her with open arms. 

She couldn’t. 

So Julie came bursting through the doors of Nick’s floor at the hospital, head swiveling left to right until she caught sight of Emily. She hurried over to the older woman and tried to get a read on her facial expression. 

“What happened? Is Nick ok?” She asked hurriedly.

Emily surprised her by practically bouncing up and down as she gripped Julie’s forearms in excitement. 

“Ok? He’s wonderful! He just woke up.” 

“Oh,” Julie said, her eyes growing huge at the news. 

She instinctively tried to turn away as though she could feasibly run for the door, but Emily was undeterred, simply wrapping an arm around her waist and steering her down the hall to Nick’s room. 

“He’s going to be thrilled to see you!” Emily enthused. “Imagine how romantic this will be. It will practically be like he’s seeing you for the first time!” 

Julie cringed. 

“Yeah, I have a feeling you’re right.” 

Then they were popping into the hospital room where the whole family was gathered and Nick was in his bed exactly where he had been every time Julie had come to the hospital, only this time he was sitting up and his eyes were open. 

“Look who I found!” Emily practically squealed, shoving Julie towards the front of the group, right up to the edge of Nick’s bed. 

Nick examined Julie closely for a moment, his face pulling downwards in a frown before he looked back over at his mother. 

“Who?” 

Reggie laughed. 

“Dude, that’s Julie.” 

Nick turned back to her and she managed a pained smile and an awkward wave. 

She was pretty sure if literally melting into the floor was an option at that moment she would have considered it. 

“Who’s Julie?” Nick asked, looking from one family member to the next to see who would be the one to provide him with the answer. 

Mitch frowned. 

“You don’t know her?” 

“She’s your fiancee,” Luke broke in bluntly, looking anywhere but at Julie from his spot in the corner of the room. “You’re getting married.” 

“I am?” Nick said, slight panic starting to spread over his face before he glanced back at Julie. “We are?” 

“Um…” Julie stalled, her eyes seeking out Alex’s desperately. “I actually wanted to talk to all of you about something…” 

“We know you’re not knocked up, dear,” Grandma Rose interrupted. “Luke told us that was a misunderstanding.” 

“They weren’t supposed to know about that crap at all, “ Luke said, shooting Reggie an annoyed look. 

“Hey, you’re the one who got it out of me,” Reggie protested. “Once I said it once it was like the floodgates opened, I couldn’t stop.” 

“Excuse me, who’s knocked up?” Nick broke in. 

“Nobody’s knocked up, dear,” Emily corrected. “But you are getting married. To Julie.” 

“My head hurts,” Nick groaned, reaching up to rub at his temple. 

“We’ll leave you alone to get some rest for now, sweetheart,” Emily said, moving to Nick’s bedside to lean over and place a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll go talk to that doctor of yours about your memory loss.” 

“I don’t think I have memory loss,” Nick protested before seeming to think better of it. “But maybe I forgot.” 

“Amnesia,” Mitch commented disbelievingly. “I can’t believe it.” 

“This is going to make a great movie someday,” Reggie observed with amusement. 

“That’s what you’re thinking right now? Ok…” Alex sighed. “You heard Emily, let’s let him rest.” 

The family poured out of the room, Luke mercifully far enough away from Julie that they didn’t actually have to speak. Alex on the other hand was directly in front of Julie as they squeezed out of the door and she grabbed the back of his hoodie and yanked him to a halt. 

“Julie, ow!” He complained, straightening his clothes as she stared at him incredulously. 

“Alex! What am I going to do?” She hissed, gesturing after the rest of the family which had gathered with Nick’s doctor at the other end of the hall. “This amnesia story isn’t going to cut it. I have to tell them. Oh my God, they’re going to kill me.” 

“Possibly,” Alex agreed. “Maybe just a light maiming.” 

“Alex!” Julie whined desperately. 

“Ok, ok, I’m kidding. Look they’ve known me too long to kill me so I’ll tell them,” He assured her. “I’ll do it right now.” 

Julie let out a sigh of relief. 

This was still going to be bad, there was no way to avoid that fallout now. But there was some relief in all of the lying being over, even if the emptiness that would take its place was enough to also fill her dread. She nodded at Alex and then set off to join the Pattersons, her steps determined enough to hide the fact that she was shaking like a leaf. When she turned to look for Alex though, he had made himself scarce, somehow completely disappearing in the few seconds it had taken her to cross the space. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Julie muttered. 

“Julie,” Emily said, reaching out to grab her hand and tug her closer. “The doctor says intermittent amnesia covering up to 3 months before this kind of head trauma is common. How long have you and Nick been seeing each other?”

“3...uh, 3 months, yeah 3...3 months,” Julie managed to stutter out. 

“Well, there you go,” Mitch gestured to Julie. “That explains it.” 

“That’s pretty fast to get engaged,” Luke observed, seeking out Julie’s eyes though hers almost immediately jerked away. 

“When you know, you know,” Grandma Rose declared. “Now let’s go home. We can come back tomorrow when Nick’s had a good night's sleep.”

“He’s had nothing but sleep,” Reggie observed. 

“Dude,” Luke gave his cousin a judgmental look. 

“I’m just saying,” Reggie pouted. 

“Give Julie a ride home, won’t you dear?” Emily asked Luke. 

“Sure.” 

“No thanks, I’m fine.” 

Luke and Julie answered at the same time. 

“Oh, just let him give you a ride,” Grandma Rose told her. “It’s cold as hell out there.” 

“Mom!” Emily scolded. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Then everyone but Luke and Julie was moving towards the exit. 

Luke chanced another glance in Julie’s direction, clearing his throat awkwardly and reaching up to rub nervously at the back of his head. 

“So, um...ready to go?” 

“Just give me a minute,” Julie said, turning and walking hurriedly back down the hallway. She turned the corner and peered around the nurse’s station, eyes locking onto Alex’s form emerging from the bathroom. 

“Alex!” She snapped, hurrying to his side. “Where were you? What happened to you telling them the truth?”

“I had to go to the bathroom,” He shrugged. “I pee when I’m nervous.” 

“Yeah, well I’m completly petrified!” Julie announced, reaching out to slap at his arm. “They still think I’m engaged to Nick. They think he has amnesia!”

“I’ll tell them,” Alex insisted, darting out of reach of her continued attack. “I promise. I’ll take care of it.” 

“You better!” Julie warned, wagging her finger in his direction. “Or I’m going to have to do it and I don’t want to be responsible for killing Grandma Rose.”  

“That’s a good point,” Alex said. “I’ll have to choose my moment carefully.” 

“Oh God,” Julie groaned. “I’m going to kill her. I’m going to give her a heart attack and kill her.” 

“Hey, hey, Julie, I was joking,” Alex told her, reaching out a steadying hand to grip her arm. “Sorry, it’s a defense mechanism when the anxiety starts acting up. Humor and deflection are pretty effective.”

Julie sighed. 

“I’m sorry I put you in this position, Alex.” 

“I’m the one who said we should keep the lie going,” Alex shrugged. “It’s going to be fine. I’ll tell them and they’ll forgive you. I know they will. We’ll laugh about this later.” 

Julie shook her head sadly, already backing down the hall. When she spoke again her voice was slightly choked with emotion.

“There’s not going to be any later, Alex,” She swallowed hard as she reached the corner. “This has all been a dream and it’s time to wake up.” 

Alex frowned and looked poised to follow her. 

“Julie…” 

She just shook her head and ducked around the corner, walking quickly back down to the other end where Luke stood waiting, shifting his weight awkwardly until he caught sight of her coming. He instantly straightened and tried a small smile though it faded when he caught sight of her expression. 

“Hey, you ok?” He asked softly, his hand rising up as though he was going to stroke his thumb over her cheek instinctively then thought better of it, dropping it back to his side. 

Julie cleared her throat and willed the gathering tears to recede. 

“I’m fine, it’s just a lot. Can we just go?”

Luke nodded hurriedly.

“Yeah, sure of course.” 

They didn’t talk anymore on the way out of the hospital and they didn’t talk during the drive back to Julie’s place, the silence in the truck growing more and more oppressive the longer it went on. She wanted so badly to turn to him and seek out a little bit of comfort, to let him work whatever magic he had managed to work over the past week where he somehow said exactly the right thing to make her feel understood and valued and seen . But she couldn’t do that without admitting that as relieved as she was that he was truly going to be ok...Nick waking up wasn’t exactly uncomplicated good news for her like it should have been. She couldn’t do that without telling him the truth that would change the way he looked at her forever and she couldn’t stand the thought of that. Even though she shouldn’t care how he looked at her at all. Even though “forever” hardly mattered when they were never going to see each other again after that night anyway. 

She couldn’t do that without remembering the way their last conversation had ended. The way they had managed to hurt each other with the truth more than she had ever managed to hurt his family with her lie. 

She couldn’t do that. 

So she didn’t. 

Luke parked the truck on the side of the street in front of her building and Julie gathered all of her courage to turn in her seat to face him. Somehow she didn’t want to leave things on bad terms between them even though the night would inevitably end in him hating her anyway. Maybe she just wanted a different final memory to add to her list to replay later when life seemed to bleak. 

“Look, Luke, about the other night,” She started in a hurry before she could think better of it. “I wanted to say that…”

“I am so sorry,” Luke interrupted in a rush, surprising her and stopping her words short. “I didn’t mean what I said. I think you and Nick are going to be really happy together and I...I think he’s lucky to have you.” 

Julie stared back at him in shock for a moment, his wide earnest eyes robbing her of the speech she had been prepared to make about how she shouldn’t have inserted herself into his issues with his family and that she understood protecting the people you love, even if it’s from your own pain. 

The power of speech finally seemed to return to her as a small, soft smile found its way onto her face. 

“Thank you. But you weren’t totally wrong…” She took a deep breath and shook her head a little ruefully before continuing. “I’m not fine. And I do miss music. So much.” 

Luke scooted across his seat to move a little closer to her...to lean...no, not to lean. 

“You weren’t totally wrong either. Maybe I haven’t avoided talking to my parents totally for their sake. Maybe part of me is scared that they still won’t believe in my dream...that they won’t believe in me.” 

Julie nodded. 

She had a hard time believing that would be the case but she understood his fear. In a way she almost felt the same, only it was music itself in her case that she worried might reject her, might deem her unworthy of all the things she used to want. Maybe she had waited too long. Maybe she had changed too much. Maybe she was letting her mom down and there was nothing she could do about it. 

“Are you going to talk to them?” She asked Luke gently, giving him space to decide on his answer. 

His eyebrows drew together as he considered her question. 

“I think...I think so, yeah.” 

The words seemed to instantly lift a weight from his shoulders, his entire body untensing subtly as a slow smile grew on his lips. 

“I feel like I have to try. And after hearing you sing when you said you couldn’t...you inspire me, Julie.” 

She ducked her head, already shaking it in protest by the time he finished speaking. 

“I’m a mess, Luke, not an inspiration.” 

“A beautiful mess,” He teased, his voice light but his words enough to have her head shooting back up so she could meet his eyes in surprise. 

He blushed a little under her scrutiny. 

“You know what I mean.” 

Julie just nodded, not at all sure that she did. 

“Well, I better go,” She said, reaching for the door handle. “Thanks for the ride. All the rides really.” 

She had made it out of the truck and was about to close the door when Luke was halting her with a sudden exclamation. 

“Hey, wait!” 

He had hopped out of the truck and crossed to Julie’s side before she could process what had happened. 

“Luke, I’ve really got to go,” She insisted as she pushed the truck door shut with exasperation. 

It wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t possibly know, but every second she spent with him was only reminding her what she was about to lose forever. It just hurt too much. 

“Ok, but I’ve got an engagement present for you,” He insisted. “Come to the back and see?” 

He looked so excited and eager that she couldn’t refuse him. 

“Ok, fine,” Julie sighed, following him to the back of the truck. “But if it’s a dead person’s sofa you’re carrying it up the stairs by yourself.” 

Luke let out a sharp bark of laughter as he reached out and yanked open the back of the truck. 

“It’s not a dead person’s sofa. It’s actually…” 

“A guitar?” Julie interrupted excitedly, her mood lifting when she saw that the only thing in the back of the truck was a guitar in a hard case. Luke had clearly installed some kind of custom strap system on the wall of the truck which held the case in place. 

“Well, sort of,” Luke started hesitantly but Julie was already scrambling up into the truck to get a closer look, eager for the distraction. 

She carefully unstrapped the case and set it down on the floor of the truck, undoing the latches of the case with practiced ease. She let out a little whistle of appreciation when she took in the guitar that was contained within. It was an acoustic, dreadnought body, a beautiful glossy finish and shine that only came from an instrument that was both well loved and well cared for. She turned to Luke, a grin adorning her face. 

“Is this a Martin D-35?” She asked disbelievingly. “Luke, this is too much. I can’t accept this.” 

Luke reached up to rub at the back of his head as he gave out an awkward chuckle. 

“Good, cause the guitar’s not the present, or not exactly.” 

Julie frowned, glancing around the truck’s interior to see if she had missed anything else. 

“What is it then?” She asked in confusion. 

Luke took a step closer to the back of the truck looking up at her slightly nervously. 

“I thought maybe I could use it to help you finish that song, the one you and your mom were working on.” 

Julie reeled back slightly, his words cutting through her like tiny projectiles. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” She said, the ache in her chest manifesting in the scratchiness of her voice. “I told you, it’s just too hard.” 

Luke met her eyes directly and did that thing he did where it felt like he was seeing right through her walls and into her soul. What an annoying party trick. 

“Maybe it’s too hard alone,” He offered softly. “But maybe it’s doable together.” 

She wanted to believe him. After all, wasn’t that exactly what she had been wanting to hear for over a year? Wasn’t that what all of her fantasies about Nick had really been about? 

Wanting someone to reach through her pain and say “let’s walk out together”. 

But it wasn’t that simple. 

Not when there was this huge, gaping canyon between them that he didn’t even know about. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Julie said as she closed the guitar case. 

“Jules,” His gentle voice and the use of the nickname had her looking up at him instantly. 

“You called me Jules,” She burst out, stating the obvious and earning herself a little bashful chuckle from him. 

“Sorry,” He said quickly. “I heard Flynn say it and I guess it just stuck.” 

“It’s fine,” Julie shook her head. “I like it. It’s just...that’s what my Mom used to call me.” 

Luke’s eyes somehow managed to soften even more. He bounced on his heels a little, his voice earnest and his body practically vibrating with the intensity of what he was trying to get across. 

“I think you might be right, about my family. They wouldn’t want me hiding away the biggest part of myself. I don’t think your mom would want that for you either.” 

Julie sucked in a shaky breath as she kept her eyes locked firmly with Lukes, not sure she could look away at this point if she wanted to. Which she didn’t. 

“Let’s just try it,” Luke continued. “I know we can do it.” 

When she hesitated for another few seconds he surprised her by choosing to sing the next part of his argument. 

“ Hands up if you believe …” 

Julie couldn’t stop the short burst of laughter that escaped at that. 

“Come on,” He encouraged, reaching one hand up and raising his palm toward the sky a few times. “ Hands up if you believe …”

Julie rolled her eyes but she half-heartedly raised one hand and wiggled it around a bit. 

“ Been so long and now we’re finally free …”

She finished the song and tried to ignore the way he was biting his lip as he looked up at her. She lowered her arm slowly trying to figure out exactly how she had let him convince her that it was a good idea to invite him up to try to finish a song she started with her mom. 

Because she was convinced. 

“I guess we can try,” She said eventually. “Just for a bit.” 

Luke’s answering grin was absolutely heart stopping which was incredibly inconvenient given the situation. 

“Yes,” He said enthusiastically, already reaching into the truck to grab his guitar. “You’ve got this.” 

“Don’t you mean we’ve got this?” Julie raised an eyebrow in amusement. 

Luke just nodded firmly and kept grinning up at her in that completely inconvenient way. 

An hour later they were sitting on the floor of Julie’s apartment, a notebook full of scribbled words between them as Luke strummed at his guitar. 

“I think we’re pretty much there,” Luke announced. “It’s a rad song, Jules.” 

“Rad,” She laughed. “Did anyone ever tell you that you sound like you belong in the 90s?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” He answered with a smile. 

She turned her attention back to the notebook in an attempt to distract herself from that infinitely distracting smile. 

“I still think it’s missing something,” She observed, jabbing her finger at the second to last chorus. “Don’t you think we need some oomph right around here?”

“Hmmm,” Luke hummed as he thought it over. “If the guys and I were performing it we’d probably split up the lines. Like Alex would take a couple, then Reg, then we’d all come in harmonizing for the end.” 

He seemed to get self conscious during the end of his speech. 

“Not that I’m thinking of stealing it or anything, it’s your song.” 

“No, that’s perfect actually,” Julie assured him, humming a little how she heard her part of the harmony in her head. “This might sound crazy but I feel like I can already hear us performing it.” 

He nodded eagerly. 

“Same,” He agreed. “You know...we could perform it together if you want. I know the guys would love it. Stand Tall? It even sounds like a hit.” 

Julie scoffed, flipping the notebook shut as though she could close that line of thought just as easily. 

“Now that’s crazy.” 

“Hey,” Luke shrugged. “We’re all a little crazy.” 

“Maybe you’re just hanging out with the wrong people,” Julie teased. 

“I mean...right now I’m hanging out with you,” Luke said softly, and there was no question about it...he was definitely leaning towards her. 

Julie allowed herself to be drawn into his gaze for a full 3 seconds but she didn’t let her eyes drop to his lips the way they were aching to do. That was one dangerous indulgence too far. 

She scooted back a little hoping that the move was subtle enough not to be noticed as she cleared her throat. 

“Thanks for helping me with the song,” She started, finally getting around to some version of the speech she’d intended to give him an hour ago. “And everything really. The last week with you and your family...it’s the best week I’ve had in a long time.” 

“I mean I...we loved having you around,” Luke offered. “I guess we have a lot more of that to look forward to huh?” 

“Yeah,” Julie said reluctantly, fiddling anxiously with the laces of her sneakers. “I guess what I’m trying to say is now that Nick’s awake...well, things are probably going to be different starting tomorrow. With your family and...between you and me.” 

She looked up quickly to check his reaction to that last bit, his expression less confused than she had expected. Instead he looked...he looked like he knew exactly what she meant. He looked like he regretted that things would be changing between them as much as she did. 

She just had to keep reminding herself that even if some part of him felt that same sting of regret...it was only because he didn’t know who she really was. 

“So I just wanted to say thank you and that I really hope you follow your dream, Luke. You’re too talented not to.” 

His lips quirked up a bit in a slightly troubled but still sincere smile. 

“Right back at you, Julie,” His voice softened a bit. “Jules.” 

She jerked her eyes away from his in a desperate act of self-desperation. 

“Well, you better get going. Emily’s going to be worrying about you.” 

“Emily’s always worrying about everyone,” Luke rolled his eyes but he did pack his guitar away, rising to his feet as Julie did the same. 

He turned his attention to the cat that was sleeping on Julie’s bed. 

“Bye, Meow, look after our girl here.” 

Julie couldn’t help the blush that spread over her cheeks as she walked him to the door. 

“Well, thanks again,” She told him once they stood on opposite sides of the doorway. 

“Bye,” He said, starting to turn away and then apparently thinking better of it. “I just wanted to say you’re not what you said.” 

She tilted her head in confusion. 

“Alone,” He supplied. “You’re not.” 

The silence stretched between them for a moment before he amended his statement in a rush. 

“Because you have Nick I mean.” 

She nodded, trying not to let her disappointment show and suspecting that she was failing miserably. 

“Right, Nick.” 

“Anyway, bye,” He gave her a little wave with his free hand and one last loaded look and then he was hurrying down the stairs and out of the building. 

Julie walked back into her apartment and closed the door behind her, slumping over to the bed to sink down onto it beside a protesting Meow. 

“I think it’s really over this time, Meow,” She said, blinking up at the ceiling until the tears she had been holding back finally escaped. “It’s just you and me again.” 

Luke had intended to drive home after he left Julie’s place, he really had. But somehow he found himself back at the hospital. He wasn’t sure why as he pulled into the parking lot. He wasn’t sure why as he took the elevator up to Nick’s floor. In fact he wasn’t sure until he was standing at the end of his brother’s hospital bed, staring down at the person he loved deeply and yet could hardly stand the sight of at the moment. 

“What are you doing here?” Nick asked, pushing himself up a little straighter. “Aren’t visiting hours over?” 

“I told them I couldn’t sleep until I reassured myself you were still ok,” Luke explained. 

“Aww, that’s sweet,” Nick said happily. 

“I lied,” Luke rolled his eyes. “I just needed to talk to you.” 

Nick clutched at his chest dramatically. 

“Ouch, that hurts. So much for brotherly loyalty. I almost died. I just woke up. I have amnesia!” 

Sometimes it was so incredibly obvious that Nick was Emily’s son. 

“Ok, ok,” Luke held up his hands as though that could slow his brother’s rant. “I’m glad you’re awake, obviously. But I need to talk to you. About the whole amnesia thing.” 

Nick frowned. 

“Oh no, what else did I forget?” He asked a little desperately. “I didn’t really knock anyone up did I?”

“No,” Luke said firmly, not wanting to explore too deeply why the thought filled him with rage. “But you are engaged.” 

“To that Lucy girl, right?” Nick replied. 

“ Julie ,” Luke corrected. “Her name is Julie.” 

“Ok, Julie,” Nick shrugged. “Either way I don’t remember her. And I can’t marry someone I don’t remember.” 

 Luke let out an exasperated huff, turning to pace across the room, Nick’s eyes following his path. 

After crossing the space a few times he stopped at the end of Nick’s bed again, bracing against it with both hands as he fought to force out the words he had come there to say. 

“You have to. You have to marry her.” 

Nick raised both his eyebrows and leaned forward a little. 

“Why?” 

Luke released the end of the bed with one hand only to bring it back down, hard. 

“Because...because...because she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you.” 

Nick smirked. 

“I don’t know, bro, a lot of great things have happened to me. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I lead a kind of charmed life.” 

Luke shook his head firmly. 

“Not like Julie.” 

“Ok…” Nick said slowly. “So what’s so great about her?” 

“She’s...the kind of person who you can’t help but like even when you really, really don’t want to,” Luke explained, unable to stop the smile from making itself at home on his face as he thought of the girl in question. “She’ll lull you into a false sense of security and then she’ll suddenly throw out a one liner to rival Alex. She can keep up with Grandma Rose and fits in with Reggie and Alex like she’s always been around. She tells the story of how her parents got together like some kind of movie and only laughs at your jokes when they’re actually funny but somehow that makes the ones you do get that much better. She has this way of seeing through all of your jokes and swagger and attitude to exactly what you’re really feeling. She knows her music and she has the voice of an angel and...she’s the best thing that ever happened to you. She would be the best thing that ever happened to anyone.” 

There was a pause once Luke stopped speaking as they both took in his speech before Nick finally responded. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t sound like my type,” Nick offered. 

Luke groaned. 

“Seriously, dude? She saved your life.” 

“And I’m grateful,” Nick insisted. “But that’s not a reason to be with someone for the rest of your life.” 

Luke tightened his hands reflexively on the end of the bed, then loosened them again. 

“You know, it wasn’t easy growing up as your brother,” Luke admitted. “There were times it felt like you had everything I wanted. The best toys. The way you picked up the guitar so fast. A mom.” 

Nick’s expression turned serious. 

“She’s your mom too,” He said earnestly. 

Luke nodded. 

“I know that. I do. But as a kid...I had some stuff to work through. The point is it didn’t matter how many things you had, how good you were at everything, how popular you were...I could deal and do you know why? Because I was proud to be Nick’s big brother. I was proud and I never resented anything you had, not really. Not until now.” 

Nick frowned yet again. 

“I’m confused. 

“Not Julie specifically,” Luke said in a rush. “Just...having someone who loves me as much as she loves you.” 

“I don’t know…” Nick started. 

“I don’t give out a lot of big brother advice,” Luke broke in. “But if you let her go you’re the biggest idiot in the world.” 

He tried to block out the voice screaming in his head that was telling him that he was in fact the biggest idiot in the world. What was he doing trying to convince his brother to marry the girl he...well, the girl who had made him feel a lot of things in the last few days. But he had to keep reminding himself that Julie loved Nick. Not him. And she deserved to have everything she wanted in life. 

Even if that wasn’t him. 

“You really think she’s the one for me?” Nick asked directly. 

Luke avoided the question, shaking his head a bit in a vain attempt to clear his mind. 

“I think you’ve spent your whole life having things go your way. Meeting Julie is no different.” 

Nick smiled just a little. 

“Best thing that ever happened to me?” 

Luke swallowed hard around the painful lump in his throat. 

“Best thing that ever happened to you,” He echoed. 

He believed it. He just wished the best thing to ever happen to his brother didn’t have to be the worst thing to ever happen to him. 

The next day Julie woke up to a loud knocking on her door. She groaned and rolled over, clasping her hands over her ears in a vain attempt to block out the noise. Meow made a questioning sound from across the room as though he thought that Julie was simply unaware of the racket permeating the apartment and needed to be notified. 

“God, Kayla, go away!” She shouted without opening her eyes. 

She had been up all night replaying Luke helping her to finish Stand Tall and worrying over how the Pattersons were taking the news that she had been lying to them all this time. She didn’t have to work that day and she still had a few more days before classes started up again so she had planned to sleep in and indulge in self pity for a bit. Unfortunately her annoying neighbor was making that incredibly difficult with that knocking that didn’t show any signs of letting up. 

“Ugh, fine, I’m coming, I’m coming,” Julie snapped, throwing off her blankets and stomping across the apartment, yanking open her door prepared to let Kayla have it. “What do you want you...you...you aren’t Kayla.” 

Alex looked to his left and then his right then pointed at himself. 

“Were you expecting someone other than me?” 

“I wasn’t expecting anyone, including you,” Julie mumbled grumpily before straightening up a little as she realized why Alex was probably there. “How did they take it? Do they hate me?” 

“Well…” He drew out the word and tilted his head. “They definitely don’t hate you.” 

Julie felt a traitorous rush of hope at his words. 

“They don’t?” She asked cautiously. 

“No, they are still feeling very positive on the whole Julie question at the moment,” Alex replied in such a calculated and specific way that it had her narrowing her eyes immediately. 

“What did you say to them?” She asked suspiciously, one hand coming up to rest on her hip. 

“It was more between the lines…” Alex started only to be met with her fiercest glare. “Ok, so I didn’t tell them yet.” 

“Alex!” Julie groaned, reaching up to grip her head as she felt an instant headache coming on. “You promised.” 

“I know, I  know,” He agreed. “I chickened out. I admit it.” 

“I’ll tell them,” Julie sighed, dropping her hand from her head to hang despondently at her side. “I have to get it over with.” 

Alex perked up visibly as he reached up to straighten his backward hat. 

“I actually have an idea to make that a little easier,” He said eagerly. “That’s why I’m here. I need you to come with me.” 

Julie eyed him skeptically. 

“No offense, Alex, but I’m not sure I should trust your plans at this point.” 

Alex clicked his tongue and tilted his head. 

“That’s...fair. All I’m asking is that you trust me one more time. We can still save this thing!” 

Julie hesitated for a few long seconds but really it was inevitable that she would give in. The alternative was facing this whole situation completely alone and that was too scary to fathom. 

“Fine,” She sighed. “Let’s go.” 

She started to step out of the apartment only to be met with Alex holding up hand to stop her. 

“I thought we had somewhere to be?” Julie asked exasperatedly. “I just want to get this whole thing over with.” 

“Understandable,” Alex said before gesturing vaguely towards her form. “I just thought you might want to change first.” 

Julie glanced down and realized that she was still wearing her floral pajama pants and her dinosaur t-shirt. She could only imagine that her hair looked like an actual disaster too. She hadn’t even brushed her teeth. 

“Good call,” She acknowledged, doing her best to hide her embarrassment though her burning cheeks left something to be desired. “Why don’t you come in for just a minute while I get ready.” 

Alex nodded and followed her inside. 

“Oooh you have a cat,” Alex cooed excitedly, heading straight for Meow who allowed him to pet him gently. 

“You like cats?” Julie asked as she rifled through her closet, grabbing the first pair of clean pants she spotted. 

“My two best friends are basically puppies,” Alex joked. “I need some cat energy in my life.” 

Julie laughed at that completely accurate assessment, rushing towards the bathroom with an armful of clothes. 

Within 45 minutes not only was she dressed and presentable but the two of them had made it to their destination. All of that should have been good news but Julie was having a hard time taking it that way now that she realized where exactly their destination was. 

“Alex, why are we at the hospital?” She demanded as she trailed after him towards a different floor than the one they had grown used to visiting Nick on. 

“They moved Nick to a recovery floor,” He said as though that should have explained much more than it did. “They’ll be sending him home soon.” 

“That doesn’t explain why we’re going to see him,” Julie hissed as they moved down the unfamiliar hallway. “We’re supposed to be getting me less wrapped up in his family’s lives, not more.” 

Alex spotted the room he was looking for and brought them both to a stop just before they reached the doorway, spinning to face Julie. 

“I’ve been thinking about it and I think the best thing we can do is tell Nick first. This is the guy who ended up with a Starbucks logo on his butt, he loves a good prank, and this has been an epic one if you think about it. Besides you saved his life. He owes you and think about it, how can his family hold all of this against you if Nick doesn’t? We need him on our side.” 

Julie considered Alex’s words with an uneasy frown. 

“I mean...I guess I see your logic but…”

“Trust me,” Alex insisted, grabbing Julie’s hand and tugging her the last few steps to the room Nick had apparently been moved to. “It can’t get any worse.” 

Before Julie could protest any further they were through the doorway and into the room where Nick spotted them seemingly instantly from his spot sitting up in a bed in the center of the room. A wide smile grew across his face and it was the same beautiful smile that he had always had. The one she used to look forward to every single day. Julie wondered dully when exactly that smile had stopped making her heart flutter. 

Probably right about the time she saw the smile that belonged to his brother. Not that that was a helpful thought. 

“Julie! I was hoping you would come by today. I need to talk to you.” 

“You do?” Julie blurted. 

Nick nodded eagerly, that bright smile still in full effect. 

“Hi, good to see you, your lifelong friend is here too,” Alex greeted sarcastically, nudging Julie to follow his lead and cross the room to the edge of Nick’s bed. “And we actually have something we wanted to talk to you about too.” 

“Oh, hey, Alex!” Nick gave his friend a little wave. “No problem but can I go first? I did just wake up from a coma and all, it only seems fair.” 

“I’m not sure I see the connection…” Alex started only to have Julie cut him off with a sharp look. “Yeah, of course, go ahead.” 

Nick reached out a hand towards Julie who stared at it dumbly for a moment before glancing over at Alex who looked just as perplexed by the action as she did. She was pretty sure neither of them had been expecting her not fiance to react to her presence this way. Sure, Alex had brought her here to tell him the truth but that didn’t mean she knew how to handle the situation. It’s not like there was a guidebook for coming clean to someone who thought they had amnesia. Finally, not knowing what else to do, she placed her hand in Nick’s who instantly gripped it gently. 

“Julie, I know that I don’t know you well…” He seemed to catch himself and chuckled at his slip. “Actually I guess I know you extremely well and just don’t remember that I do. The point is this isn’t a situation either of us expected to find ourselves in.” 

Julie shook her head ruefully. If only he knew. 

“You can say that again.” 

“But the thing is, now that we’re here, maybe it’s a good opportunity to really look at our lives and think about what we want.” 

Oh . 

Julie suddenly had a strong suspicion that he was leading up to dumping her, which would be a much more upsetting proposition if she didn’t have bigger worries on her mind. 

Also if they had ever actually been together in the first place. 

“The truth is in the past I’ve never really had to work for anything,” Nick admitted, his eyes serious where they locked onto hers. “Everything I wanted...music...school...girls…” 

He smirked a little at the mention of girls and Julie saw Alex roll his eyes out of the corner of her eye. 

“Dude,” Alex said, clearly unamused. 

“Anyway,” Nick continued. “What I’m saying is it’s suddenly occurring to me that maybe that’s not always a good thing. When everything’s easy you don’t appreciate it. I didn’t appreciate it. Any of it. But I don’t want to live like that anymore. So I’m not going to do the easy thing. I want to work hard to make something uh...well, work. With you.” 

Julie frowned as she tried to force her brain to jump through the hoops required to make sense of what Nick had just said. 

“I’m sorry...what?” She asked eventually, still struggling to catch up. 

“Yeah, same question. What?” Alex added, his voice rising in pitch a bit. 

Nick stroked his thumb softly over the back of Julie’s hand. 

“Julie, you saved my life. Now I want to make it a life worth saving. I may not remember you but the people I love the most love you and that’s good enough for me. We can spend every day falling in love with all of the little things about each other.” 

Julie’s racing thoughts flashed back to when she’d tried to explain what it is that she loved about Nick. 

Making a thousand little choices to make someone else’s day better? To make it bearable? What’s more amazing than that?

“We have a whole lifetime to figure out the rest,” Nick continued, a lightheartedness she found hard to relate to in his voice. “Why should we spend another day of it alone?”

Why are you pretending you’re like me?

And what are you?

Alone. 

Julie swallowed harshly a million thoughts rushing through her mind. It was absolutely crazy to even give his speech a second thought. The guy thought that they had been engaged all of this time, any proposal he made now was made under false pretenses. Besides she had feelings for his brother, feelings she knew she could never act on but also couldn’t pretend didn’t exist. And yet...and yet...there was so much in what Nick said that made the familiar hole in her heart ache with the desire to be filled. 

Maybe she wasn’t in love with Nick, not yet, even if she had once thought she was, but that didn’t mean that she couldn’t be someday. With his easy smile, and his tendency towards small kindnesses and his love of music, even if it wasn’t the same as the one she shared with Luke...there was something there. It wasn’t everything. It wasn’t what she daydreamed about when she closed her eyes these days. Those thoughts were now firmly dedicated to the enthusiastic frontman of Sunset Curve and his annoyingly insightful eyes. But the thought of having someone who was hers, just hers , who hadn’t known her before her mom’s death and wanted to make an effort to make a life with the Julie that was left...there was something intensely appealing about that. 

“Julie?” Nick drew her attention back to the situation at hand. “Will you marry me?” 

“Oh my God,” Alex breathed. “That’s...that’s not…” 

Julie said nothing for a beat. 

Then two. 

Then three. 

“Would you still want to marry me if we hadn’t been engaged before?” She asked carefully. “If we had just met and all you had to go on is what your family said and…” 

She gestured helplessly down at herself. 

“This?” 

Nick nodded quickly. 

“I’m a decisive person, Julie. Besides, something tells me I’d be the biggest idiot in the world to let you go.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Alex broke in, anxiety clear in his voice. “Let’s just take a breather and…” 

“Yes,” Julie interrupted, the word searing her throat uncomfortably as it escaped. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” 

“Or we could make a life altering decision in less time than it takes me to decide what snacks I want at the movies, that’s another option, ok,” Alex threw up his hands in defeat. 

“Great!” Nick said, giving Julie’s hand one final squeeze before releasing it. “I hope you don’t mind but I already talked to my mom about what I was planning to ask you.” 

“Ok…” Julie answered, her mind still desperately trying to realign from how she had thought this conversation was going to go vs where it had actually ended up. 

“She had an idea,” Nick continued. “What if we get married this weekend?”

“Ok, no. That’s crazy, right? Julie? Isn’t that crazy?” Alex was becoming more and more animated in his displeasure. 

Julie couldn’t say he was wrong. It was crazy . But then again hadn’t this whole thing been crazy? From the second she decided to jump on those train tracks to save the life of someone she didn’t even know absolutely everything in her life had been undeniably crazy. So. 

She was still listening. 

“What’s the rush?” Julie asked carefully. “We’re young and you’re still recovering.”

“I told you, I’m decisive,” Nick grinned. “And besides, doesn’t my accident prove that you never know what tomorrow will bring? Why take any chances when we could be happy now?” 

His words washed over Julie and dragged her down into her thoughts like a pounding wave at the beach, crashing against her logic over and over. It sounded like Mom, Mom, Mom . 

She knew better than most that you never knew what was just around the corner and how much it could derail your plans. How much pain it could cause. How it could feel like the end of everything. She had been so scared to start living again after she lost her mom. Suddenly she was terrified to put it off for another minute. 

“Besides, I think it would be something really nice for my family,” Nick continued, not knowing the anguish he had set off in Julie’s mind. “They’ve been through a lot and they love you.” 

“Hey, you can’t put that on Julie,” Alex pointed out. “It’s not up to her to…” 

“I’ll do it,” Julie interrupted, glancing at Alex and cutting off his protest. “I want to do it.” 

“Julie…” Alex trailed off, his eyes wide and worried. 

Julie didn’t respond, just turned back to Nick and forced a smile even as she took a couple of steps backwards toward the door. 

“Just have your mom call me and we’ll work out the details ok? I really am glad you’re awake, Nick. We’ll talk soon.” 

Then she turned and hurried out of the room, her eyes completely dry but aching as though they wished they could produce tears. She knew what she had just done wasn’t something she would be able to make anyone else understand. She just...she saw a chance to escape the cold, lonely existence she had known since her mom died and she was taking it. 

“Julie!” 

She reluctantly stopped her progress down the hallway and turned to face Alex as he jogged up to meet her. 

“What are you doing?” He asked incredulously. 

Julie steeled herself, her hands clenched into fists so tight her short fingernails began to bite into the delicate skin of her palms. 

“I had a choice between breaking the hearts of people I’ve really come to care about, not to mention making them hate me, or keeping them all in my life and gaining someone who could love me. And I know all of this is insane but I chose the option that will make everybody happy. What’s wrong with that?”

Alex seemed surprised by her speech, taking a step closer to her and tilting his head down to meet her eyes directly. 

“I get that, Julie, I do. But is this the option that will make everybody happy? Will it make you happy?”

Julie threw up her arms in emotionally drained exasperation. 

“I don’t know, Alex. Honestly, who knows? But I haven’t been happy for a very long time.” 

Alex’s eyes softened at that admission. 

“This is a chance and I’m taking it. I’ve got to go.” 

She spun on her heels and continued down the hallway, this time Alex letting her go. He let her go to think and truly reckon with what she’d just agreed to and he left her to be alone. Maybe for the last time. 

“How are you so calm?” Alex demanded, pacing around the Patterson garage that functioned as Sunset Curve’s studio. 

His question was addressed to Luke who was slumped, dejected but quiet, against the back of their well worn black coach. Reggie was also there, perched on one of their amps and looking back and forth between Alex and Luke in confusion. 

“I thought we wanted Julie to join the family?” Reggie asked. 

Alex clearly expected Luke to answer but he wasn’t up to conversation, simply shaking his head when Alex stared at him with wide eyes. Finally Alex sighed and answered their bandmate himself. 

“We do,” Alex said slowly as though he was explaining it to a child. “But not by marrying Nick.”

“Why not?” Reggie frowned. “She’s been engaged to him this whole time.” 

Luke could hear his cousin and friend talking but it sounded like it was coming from far away. This was what he wanted. Wasn’t this what he wanted? What he had told Nick to do? He had meant it then, full of determination to make sure Julie was happy, no matter what. He had made his peace with the pain that would inevitably cause him in exchange, at least he had convinced himself that he had. He just hadn’t thought...he hadn’t thought he would have to watch her marry his brother quite so soon . 

“Uh, yeah, of course she has been,” Alex answered hurriedly. “But things have changed. I think someone else we know has feelings for Julie that have to be taken into account.” 

“We do?” Reggie gasped. “Wait...is it me? I didn’t even know.” 

Alex sighed deeply. 

“No, Reg, it’s not you. Can I just say again, you are so lucky you play the bass? It’s Luke.” 

He pointed firmly in Luke’s direction and Luke finally managed to drag himself out of the fog he had been in since Emily had announced that Nick and Julie were getting married in only 2 days. 

“I don’t know what…” He tried only to be cut off by Alex’s sharp voice and wagging finger. 

“Don’t even try it, you’re clearly in love with her.” 

“I…” Luke started only to trail off dejectedly. “I...yeah.” 

“You are?” Reggie gasped again. “That...huh, actually that explains a lot.” 

Luke groaned, dropping his face to rest in his hands. All of the sudden even looking at his two best friends was too much for him to face when they were shooting him looks full of equal parts judgment and sympathy. 

“You have to tell her,” Alex insisted. “Stop the wedding.” 

Luke sat up sharply, shaking his head aggressively from side to side. 

“I can’t do that. This is Julie’s chance to be happy. I’m not going to be the one to screw that up, not when she deserves it so much.” 

“But what if she loves you too?” Reggie pointed out. “Don’t you want to know?”

Luke shook his head again, the ache in his chest growing to almost unbearable levels. 

“She doesn’t.” 

“I say she does,” Alex argued. “We’ve all seen the way you two look at each other.” 

“Did she say yes when Nick proposed again?” Luke snapped. 

Alex hesitated then nodded reluctantly. 

“Well, there you go,” Luke said flatly. “She loves Nick and he’ll remember he loves her eventually and I’m happy for them. I just wish…” 

He just wished that he could give her something, something he could pass off as a wedding gift but would really be a gesture to show much he was grateful for the past few days together, no matter what. His heart ached in that moment, ached like it would never stop aching but he wouldn’t take back his time with Julie. Not for anything. 

No regrets. 

Suddenly an idea came to him and he jumped up from the couch, energy seeming to flow back into him almost instantly, clearly taking his friends by surprise. Maybe he couldn’t make Julie happy the way he wanted to, maybe he would always be watching her life from the outskirts from now on, maybe that was just how things were meant to be as much as it hurt. But he would be damned if he let her start that new life still doubting the thing he knew she was meant to do. 

He believed in her. 

He believed in her more than he had ever believed in anything, up to and including music. 

Maybe his last gift to her could be an opportunity for her to believe in herself too. 

Alex and Reggie exchanged a confused glance as Luke bounced slightly in place, his new purpose offering the perfect distraction from his conflicted emotions. 

“Come on boys,” He rubbed his hands together. “We’ve got rehearsing to do.” 

The next night found the band gathered in the garage yet again only this time they weren’t alone. 

“Is someone going to tell me what I’m doing here?” Julie asked, her eyes focused squarely on anything but him. 

Luke tried not to let that hurt, tried not to let Julie’s presence, so close and yet so far away, hurt too. He only partially succeeded but that didn’t change his resolve to give Julie the chance to get in touch with the part of herself that he just knew was simmering just below the surface. It hadn’t been easy to get her there, had involved convincing Alex to fib slightly and say Emily needed help with the wedding planning and Luke going on a mission to recruit one other person crucial to the plan, but it would all be worth it if it worked. 

He cleared his throat and her eyes finally darted over to meet his. He thought he saw a flash of pain in them that matched his own but it was gone so quickly he decided that he must have imagined it. 

“So, I showed the boys the song you wrote with your mom…”

Julie smiled softly at the mention of the song, the tension draining slightly out of her stiff shoulders.  

“You helped.” 

Luke couldn’t help but return her smile despite everything. Would he ever get used to Julie smiling at him? Would he ever get used to her smiling at Nick now that he was awake? Luke gave himself a little shake to bring himself back to the moment. 

“Yeah, I did. Anyway, they love it just like I told you they would and we’ve been practicing and…”

“We want you to join Sunset Curve!” Reggie chimed in excitedly. 

“Ok...that’s not, we know that’s not a thing you’re looking to do,” Alex explained. “He means for tonight. To perform your song.” 

Julie looked completely stunned, glancing back and forth between the three of them before her eyes came to a rest on him. Luke swallowed hard under her scrutiny. She didn’t look upset but she also wasn’t exactly jumping up and down in excitement. 

“That’s...that’s really nice of you,” She jerked her eyes away from Luke. “All of you. But I’m not sure what performing in a garage proves. My mom always wanted to hear me sing that song in front of an audience and I just can’t see myself doing that anytime soon.” 

“It’s not about the audience,” Luke insisted. “It’s about the connection. Your mom knew that, she was into music! Besides, we will have an audience.” 

Julie raised her eyebrows in confusion. 

“What audience?”

“One audience, coming up!” 

Luke grinned. Right on time. 

“Flynn?” Julie greeted in surprise as the girl appeared in the entrance of the garage. “And...Meow? How did you get my cat?”

“You gave me a key,” Flynn shrugged, carrying a less than amused looking Meow over and plopping down on the coach. 

“That was so you could feed my cat if I needed you to,” Julie pointed out. 

Flynn grinned. 

“So I’ll feed him when we take him back, come on, Jules! We want to see a show!”

Luke held his breath as he waited for Julie’s response, praying that he hadn’t misjudged the situation and overstepped. Had he crossed some invisible boundary in his mission to help Julie let the music in her soul burst out like he knew it was dying to do? 

Luckily, a slow smile spread across Julie’s face as she shook her head in apparent disbelief at their audacity. 

“Ok, you know what? What the hell, let’s do it.” 

“Yes!” Reggie jabbed his fist into the air in a victory celebration. 

“Good for you,” Alex said simply. 

“Let’s just do it before I change my mind,” Julie joked, grabbing the mic that Reggie was holding out to her. 

And they did. 

Even though the song had only been complete for a couple of days and they had never practiced it all together before, things flowed between the four of them like they had done it a hundred times. There was talent and connection and joy and when they reached that second to last chorus they had discussed on the floor of Julie’s apartment...there was magic too. 

Whatever happens

Even if I'm the last standing

I'ma stand tall

I'ma stand tall

Stand tall

Stand tall

The grin on Julie’s face after their four voices melded together in perfect harmony was enough to have Luke grinning in return, that moment alone worth all of the pain he knew he had to look forward to. 

The last notes of music rang out in the garage and Flynn applauded wildly, even reaching out to clap Meow’s paws together. Alex and Reggie were talking excitedly about what had just happened, everyone feeling how special it was. But Julie...she was looking straight at him, mouthing just two words. 

Thank you . 

He nodded and returned the favor, mouthing back the same. 

Thank you. 

He was pretty sure she didn’t know what he was thanking her for. He was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been able to explain it properly if asked. 

The closest he could come was a single word. 

Everything. 

Julie stood in the Patterson’s driveway next to Luke as they watched Alex and Reggie fuss over Meow who was still clutched in Flynn’s arms. The three of them were laughing and teasing each other, especially Reggie who appeared to be allergic if his sneezing was any indication and yet couldn’t stay away from the cute animal. 

“Well, that was really something,” Luke offered, glancing over at her almost nervously. 

Julie took a quick breath, glancing over in return. 

“Yeah, it was. I had forgotten what that felt like.” 

Luke nodded as though he didn’t need her to explain what she was talking about. He just got it. He just got her. She loved that about him. She loved…

Suddenly seized with a reckless burst of bravery she spun to face him more fully. 

“Luke, is there...is there any reason I shouldn’t marry your brother?”

Luke’s eyes widened and he froze as though she had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head. 

“What...what do you mean?” He stuttered out, his eyes darting wildly over her face, searching for what she didn’t know. 

She forced herself not to walk back what she had said. 

“I just mean...is there anything I should know? Anything you might not have told me?”

Her heart raced with hope she hadn’t allowed herself to feel until exactly that moment. Maybe he did love her. Maybe he would tell her and they could be together and everything else would work itself out. Maybe the magic they made when they sang together could translate to a real life miracle. Maybe…

“No,” Luke said, his voice strained. “Julie, I can’t...no. I can’t give you any reason you shouldn’t marry him.” 

“Oh,” Julie felt the hope rush out of her as a deep disappointment took its place. “Ok. Good to know.” 

“Jules, you ready to go? I can give you and Meow a ride home,” Flynn called out offering Julie a much needed escape. 

“Yeah, I’m ready,” She called back. “Bye, Luke.” 

He might have replied but she was already jogging away and she didn’t hear it. 

It was for the best anyway. 

She didn’t want to hear Luke say goodbye. 

If only she could avoid all the things she didn’t want to hear so easily. 

“What is this?” 

Julie cringed. 

It had been 24 hours since the unexpected performance in the Patterson garage and as magical as that had been it didn’t change the fact that she was getting married the next day. She couldn’t put off telling her almost...her friend any longer. 

Flynn was staring down at the hand-lettered card that Julie had handed her as though it was some kind of dangerous animal that might rise up and bite her at any minute. Julie couldn’t exactly blame her but it still wasn’t leading to a conversation she was eager to have. 

“It’s an invitation to my wedding,” Julie explained matter of factly, hoping her shaking fingers weren’t obvious where they hung at her side. “I know it’s not the fanciest but Emily only had a few hours to work on them. We’re keeping it small anyway, just his family and well, you.” 

“Your wedding….” Flynn repeated as though she couldn’t quite make sense of the words. “To Nick. The guy who was in the coma.” 

Julie nodded sharply, wearing her brisk attitude like armor to hide the cracks rapidly expanding within. 

“Yes, to Nick. He asked and I accepted.” 

“Jules, you have to know how that sounds. How…” 

“Crazy?” Julie interrupted, throwing her hands up tiredly. “I get it, ok? I do. I really do. But in the short amount of time since the accident I’ve felt less alone than I’ve felt for so long. The Pattersons made me laugh, and helped me get closer to you and even brought music back into my life. Marrying Nick lets me have all of that and gets me a cute, sweet guy who wants to spend his life with me. Is wanting all that really so crazy?”

Flynn surprised her by not having a snarky retort to her rant, only reaching out to grip Julie’s hand gently. 

“You’re right, that’s not crazy. They brought you back to life. But, Jules, don’t you think Luke played a big part in that? Why not give yourself a chance to be happy with him? Isn’t that what you really want?” 

Julie bit her lip and willed back the tears she felt building. 

“He doesn’t want me,” She shrugged helplessly. “I thought maybe, but...he doesn’t want me.” 

Flynn’s face flooded with sympathy that Julie simply couldn’t take, reaching up to wipe harshly at her eyes. 

“Anyway, I’m going to start a life with Nick tomorrow and I hope you’ll be there. I’ve got to go.” 

She was getting serious deja vu from her conversation with Alex in the hospital hallway as she turned and walked away from Flynn. She knew she meant well. She knew they both did. But she had made her decision and living with it seemed preferable to remaining alone, barely living at all. 

Luke sank into a chair at the table in the kitchen as his dad and Emily bustled around making enough breakfast to feed at least 10 people, not just themselves and their son. Grandma Rose was still asleep and Luke was glad. He loved his grandmother but she didn’t exactly make it easy to get a word in. He fiddled nervously with the placemat, trying to gather his courage for a conversation 6 years in the making. After Julie had asked him that question the night before, a question where he wasn’t sure what answer she wanted but instinctively knew it hadn’t been the one he had given...well, his confidence for talking things out wasn’t high. Still. He had put this off for far too long and despite everything...Julie did inspire him. 

She made him want more from his life. 

She made him brave. 

So when his parents joined him at the table he forced himself to open his mouth despite the way it instantly wanted to snap shut again. 

“I need to talk to you, guys,” He started, their excited chatter about the wedding trailing off as they took in his words. 

“Go ahead, dear,” Emily said encouragingly. “We’re all ears.” 

“Well, not all ears…” Mitch started only for Luke to cut him off. 

“Dad, before you get to the dad jokes, can I get this out?” He asked anxiously. “I don’t want to lose my nerve.” 

They both frowned, finally picking up on the seriousness in Luke’s tone. 

“Go ahead, son,” Mitch said, gesturing for Luke to continue. 

Luke sucked in a deep breath and forced his nervous fingers to relinquish their grip on the placemat and spread out flat against the surface of the table. It had been one of their finds through the family business, of course it had. It’s well worn surface held a million stories from the previous owners and Luke thought there was something beautiful about the fact that they gave it a second life. His dad’s business was one he admired, it just wasn’t his dream. He thought he could push that fact aside but Julie had helped him realize that doing so was never going to let him feel fully alive. 

He didn’t want to be a ghost anymore. 

“You guys know things have been going really well for the band lately,” He started. “We've been getting more and more offers for gigs and there are a couple of managers who have seen us play and might be interested.” 

“And we’re so proud of you,” Emily broke in kindly. “All of you boys, but especially you, Luke.” 

Luke gaped at her for a moment as he took in her words. 

“You are?” 

“Well, of course,” Emily frowned at his surprise. “You didn’t know that?” 

Luke shook his head a little dumbly. 

“Very proud,” Mitch agreed. “Your talent for your hobby is being recognized by other people. That’s amazing!” 

“That’s just it,” Luke pointed out cautiously. “It’s not just a hobby. Music is what I want to do with my life. Professionally.” 

His parents stared at him in confusion for a moment before glancing at each other. 

“You want to be a professional musician?” Emily asked. 

“You don’t want to inherit the family business?” Mitch followed up. 

Luke cringed and shook his head. 

“I never wanted that. I’m sorry I’m disappointing you. I know you two never approved of rock band as a career.” 

They both frowned and Luke thought rather numbly that it felt like he was speaking a foreign language the way they were reacting to what he had to say. 

“That’s not true,” Mitch countered. 

“Uh, my existence as a teenager would like to disagree,” Luke argued. 

“That wasn’t because you were pursuing music,” Emily explained, the frown lines on her forehead deepening even more. “You were 17 and sneaking out at all hours of the night to play in clubs in neighborhoods that weren’t safe, with promoters we didn’t trust lining up to take advantage of you. We never...we never meant you to think you had to give up on your dream. You stopped talking about doing it for a job, we didn’t...oh sweetheart, we’re sorry.” 

Luke’s eyes felt suspiciously wet as he listened to Emily’s explanation. 

“You never wanted me to quit?” He asked in amazement. 

“I won’t pretend we handled things perfectly,” She admitted, her own eyes glistening with tears as well. “We wanted you to take a step back, it's true. We were scared, scared of losing you, of the police showing up to tell us something terrible had happened. We let that fear come between us. But we want the same thing for you now that we wanted for you then, to be safe and happy. If music is what makes you happy then of course we’ll support you.” 

Luke took in her words for a few long moments, his entire understanding of his relationship with his parents shifting and rearranging in his mind. What did you do when you realized that the story you had been telling yourself about your own life might not be entirely true? When you could forgive the people you loved for their mistakes? When you could let go of the guilt you had been holding over yours?

Luke finally nodded gratefully at Emily before allowing his eyes to dart nervously over to his father. 

Mitch surprised him even more by chuckling and shaking his head. 

“I wish you had told me a couple of years ago. I could have sold the whole business for twice what it’s worth.” 

Luke couldn’t help but laugh at that, his dad’s pragmatic response the perfect counter to Emily’s emotional one, just like always. They really were meant for each other.  

Suddenly all of the things he had always seen as insurmountable obstacles in his life were melting away like they had never been there at all. He felt happy, he felt... free .

Been so long and now we’re finally free...

It wasn’t long before a heavy feeling settled back into his gut though. 

Afterall, there was still one obstacle to his happiness that was unlikely to melt away anytime soon and it looked an awful lot like the wedding he was serving as best man for the next day. 

Julie hadn’t exactly been one of those little girls who had spent all of her time daydreaming about what her wedding would be like, but she couldn’t say that it hadn’t occasionally crossed her mind over the years. When it had she had pictured it taking place somewhere romantic, maybe the church where her parents had been married or on the beach somewhere. The chapel in a hospital hadn’t exactly made her top ten location options but then again the entire situation was so beyond what little Julie could have imagined that none of that was particularly surprising. Her dress wasn’t quite what she had thought it would be either. Julie hadn’t been obsessed with the idea of weddings as a kid but she had been a fan of fashion from very early on. The outfits that she and her mom put together based on thrift store finds and pieces from her mom’s collection had been legendary in her elementary school. So she had always pictured her wedding dress being some kind of custom creation, mostly white but with maybe a splash of color, over the top yet romantic and whimsical. 

As she stared at herself in the mirror on the back of her closet door, the dress she would actually be wearing when she got married held up against her with the hanger hooked onto her shirt, she couldn’t help but acknowledge that the reality had fallen a bit short compared to her imaginings. Well, it was a bit short literally as it only fell to her knees, the off white material covered in embroidered flowers the same color as the rest of the dress.

Dahlias.

That was the thing. 

It wasn’t a wedding dress. 

But it was her mom’s dress and that meant so much more. 

Because as she stared at herself in that mirror she had to admit that her real disappointment with the rushed wedding that she had agreed to wasn’t the venue and it certainly wasn’t the dress. It was the guest list. She had insisted that her family wouldn’t be able to make the trip when Emily offered to call them and give them the details of the ceremony but the truth was she just didn’t know how to tell them what she was doing and why. She was afraid that her dad would react like everyone else, calling her crazy and doubting her decision but...more than that she was afraid that he wouldn’t. She was afraid he would remember his own whirlwind love story and support her totally, wish her well and give her away with tears in his eyes. 

She was afraid he would be happy for her and that was too much to contemplate when she couldn’t even be happy for herself, much as she tried to convince herself that she was. 

But the absence that would hurt worst of all was without a doubt her mom. 

Julie smoothed down the fabric of the dress, trying to imagine what it would have looked like on her mother. She wished she could ask her mom if she was doing the right thing although a large part of her was afraid she already knew what her answer would be. 

Follow your heart, Julie. 

Don’t hide, Julie. 

Don’t give up, grow, Julie. 

She had so much advice from her mom, gathered over the years and stored in her memory like precious stones in a vault only none of them seemed to be applicable to “rushing into a marriage under false pretenses”. Still. She suspected her mom would always be rooting for love and Julie loved...Luke. 

It was just too bad he didn’t love her, or at least not enough to tell her when it counted. 

She could come to love Nick just like he could come to love her. She had to believe that. This was for the best. For everyone. 

A knock on the door interrupted her spiraling thoughts. 

Julie groaned quietly. She didn’t know who it was but she knew she absolutely did not have it in her to defend her decisions one more time. Maybe if she was just silent enough whoever it was would go away. 

The knocking sounded again, loud and insistent. 

“I know you’re in there,” Kayla’s voice carried through the door. “Come on, Julie, you’re not fooling me.” 

Julie groaned again, allowing herself a bit more volume this time since Kayla clearly was already on to her. She stomped over to the door, skirting around Meow who was lounging directly in her path, and yanked it open. 

“What do you want, Kayla?” She demanded with a huff, taking in the girl in the purple tracksuit with annoyance. 

For her part her neighbor only eyed her up and down taking in the dress that was still dangling from Julie’s shirt. 

“So it’s true,” Kayla observed, cracking her gum loudly. “You are getting married.” 

Julie frowned in confusion. 

“How do you know that?” 

Kayla waved a hand dismissively. 

“I know everything that goes on with everyone in this building,” She explained as though it should have been obvious. 

“That’s...creepy,” Julie observed. 

Something in Kayla’s expression shifted. 

“The people who live in this building might be just a bunch of annoying neighbors to you but they’re my family,” Kayla said, a seriousness Julie had never seen in her leaking through. “ You’re my family, Julie.” 

Julie reacted to that comment with stunned silence for a moment before reaching out and pulling Kayla into a hug that surprised her as much as it did the other girl. She gave Kayla a little squeeze, the material of her top bunching under Julie’s fingers. 

“You’re not an annoying neighbor,” Julie offered. “Well...not usually. Always. Anyway.” 

She gave Kayla a few awkward pats on the back before pulling away only to realize immediately that something had gone wrong. 

“Ow, ow, ow,” Julie grimaced, reaching up in a desperate attempt to untangle her hair from where it had wrapped around the clothes hanger that was dangling from her shirt. 

“Hold still,” Kayla instructed, reaching out to carefully unwrap the strands of hair. 

It took several long seconds for her fingers to do their work but finally Julie was free, releasing a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and yanking the hanger and attached dress free of her shirt. 

“Thanks,” She told Kayla gratefully. 

Kayla nodded and took a step back. 

“Well,” She said, her voice sounding more like the Kayla that Julie was used to again. “Congratulations on the wedding. I still think you’re throwing away a good thing with Caleb but I’m happy for you. Really.” 

She started down the hall and Julie watched her go, her thoughts conflicted. 

Finally she sighed and called after her. 

“Hey, Kayla? What are you doing tomorrow?” She asked, hesitantly. 

“Oh you know,” Kayla waved her hand in a non-specific gesture. “I’ll probably do some yoga or something.” 

“Do you want to come to my wedding?” Julie asked, cringing at the way that not only did Kayla’s face light up at her words, but she dashed back down the hall to pull Julie into another hug. 

“Awww, Julie, does this mean we’re friends now?”

Julie sighed, regret already starting to seep in. 

“I wouldn’t push it.” 

Still. 

A small smile found its way onto her face which was currently pressed into Kayla’s shoulder a bit uncomfortably with the dress wrinkling between them. 

She was picking up all sorts of unexpected family members these days and despite everything...she had no regrets about that. 

The day of the wedding was cold. The kind of cold that only came with a Chicago winter and the wind blowing in off of the lake to seep deep down into your bones. Julie felt a bit ridiculous in her long, puffy winter coat, zipped up tight over the short, summary dress she was planning to wear for the ceremony. Then again, maybe that was more appropriate in a way. The layers of clothing corresponded to the layers of emotions she felt as she made her way into the hospital and towards the chapel. Happy. Sad. Worried. Excited. Scared. 

Lonely, even though she was walking towards a room full of people. 

It wasn’t like she was alone because no one had offered to make the journey with her. 

Emily, Flynn, Alex, even Kayla had all tried to convince her to ride to the hospital with them, to let them help her get ready and prepare for her big day together. She had appreciated all of those offers, she truly had. In the end though she just couldn’t stand the thought of spending those last few hours before everything changed having to pretend that she wasn’t paralyzed with doubt. 

She couldn’t wait to be a permanent member of the Patterson family. 

She couldn’t wait to grab on to the way she had felt since she stumbled into their lives and keep it forever. 

She just had an ever growing feeling that as soon as she saw Luke all of that was going to slip away in the face of what she was giving up. 

Even if it had never really been hers in the first place. 

So she had put off heading to the hospital until the last possible second, to the point that she knew everyone gathered there must be wondering if she had decided not to turn up at all. 

She couldn’t say it hadn’t crossed her mind, but so many things had crossed her mind during her sleepless night that she’d never seriously considered running away, tempting as it might be. 

Julie was so lost in thought that she almost walked straight into the chapel, puffy, winter coat and all until she realized what she was doing and stopped just short of the entrance. She glanced around for a coat rack but the hallway was empty and in the end Julie simply ripped the coat off and tossed it onto the floor, kicking it further out of the way before straightening and tugging her dress back into place. She took the deepest breath of her life and did her best to center herself before stepping through that door. 

I hope this is the right thing, Mom. 

I hope you would understand. 

Julie exhaled in a rush then hurried through the entrance to the chapel before she could think better of it. Instantly every head in the room swiveled to stare at her and she saw relief on most of their expressions. Of course, Nick’s side of the aisle was more full than hers was, Emily, Mitch, Alex, Reggie and Grandma Rose filling up the first few pews and grinning back at her. Well, Alex was sort of...grimacing back at her, but the rest seemed pleased by her arrival. 

But Julie’s side of the aisle wasn’t as empty as she might have feared. 

Flynn, Kayla and even Vikki, the nurse who had reminded her so much of her tia, were there. Julie wasn’t that surprised that the latter had managed to turn up. After knowing about Julie’s predicament and then hearing that they were getting married in the chapel...well, it was just too juicy. Julie would probably have turned up to watch the potential trainwreck too if she wasn’t participating in it. 

And oh, right, she was in this wedding. It was her wedding and there were some other very important people present that she hadn’t made eye contact with yet. 

She forced her gaze up to the front of the room where Nick stood, a suit jacket draped over his shoulders to allow for the IV that was still attached to his arm. He smiled when he saw Julie appear but that wasn’t where her eyes landed for long. They were already drifting past him to the best man who stood just to his left, an uncharacteristically stuffy suit doing nothing to detract from his attractiveness. 

Luke . 

Luke was staring at her just like everyone else was. Only he definitely wasn’t smiling. He looked miserable, just as miserable as she did. Why did her traitorous heart swell with relief at that realization? 

Suddenly music started to play, someone having apparently decided it was time to get the show on the road. Julie stood frozen for a moment until Grandma Rose began gesturing enthusiastically for her to make her way down the aisle. She nodded stiffly and started walking, at first attempting to time her steps to the music but quickly giving up and simply walking briskly in an attempt to get things over with. She made it to the front of the chapel and took her place across from Nick, the priest stepping forward to greet them with a bored looking smile. 

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…” 

Julie had every intention to listen to what the priest was saying, he was narrating the end of her life as she knew it and the beginning of a new one afterall, only that plan turned out to be short lived. Because despite all of her best intentions, her eyes drifted away from the priest, and over Nick’s shoulder and right...right into Luke’s which were already locked on her intensely. 

They had already had several silent conversations in the short time they had known each other, moments where the world fell away and it felt like words weren’t necessary. Where it felt like they just got each other . This was one of those moments but turned up to 10, like the amp in the patterson’s garage once Reggie got ahold of it. And suddenly Julie knew what she had to do. 

“I object!” 

“Oh my God,” Alex’s voice instantly carried up from the crowd. 

“I didn’t know people could really object!” Reggie added, sounding vastly entertained by the whole idea. 

“I object too!” Luke piped up, his eyes locking with Julie’s again and a surge of warmth shooting through her at the look she found there. 

“Another one!” Reggie announced with glee. 

“Ok, not helping,” Alex sighed. 

“I uh...actually didn’t get to the part about objecting yet…” The priest tried to break in only to be cut off again. 

“Well, this is a predictable disaster,” Flynn added. “What about you coma boy, you want to object too?” 

Nick frowned. 

“I’m thinking.”

“Can someone tell me what in the hell is going on?” Grandma Rose called out, fanning herself with one hand. “This is the most excitement I’ve had since I won the Miss America pageant.” 

Emily shook her head. 

“Mother, you never...you know what, never mind, Julie? Luke? What on Earth is going on?” 

Julie turned to face her and steeled herself for the inevitable fallout that was about to come raining down onto her. 

She had spent so long avoiding this exact moment but now that it was here she felt strangely peaceful about it. 

“Emily, the thing is...I’m in love with your son.” 

“We know,” Mitch said, his brow furrowed in confusion. “You’re here to marry him for God’s sake!” 

“The thing is...I’m kind of in love with um...the wrong one,” Julie admitted, a blush roaring to life on her cheeks as she felt Luke’s eyes on her.

“This is so much more than I could have asked for,” Kayla practically cackled from her seat. 

Julie sighed. 

So much for their brief bonding moment. 

“Luke, do you have something to say for yourself?” Mitch asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Julie jumped in quickly. 

“No, this has nothing to do with him really,” She glanced over at Luke who was staring at her with a slowly growing smile. “Ok, well, a bit to do with him, but no this was me. It was all me. Grandma Rose? You ok? You hanging in there?”
 

“This is just like one of my soaps,” Grandma Rose volunteered. “Only nobody’s died yet.” 

“Right…” Julie shook her head a bit to bring it back to the less than pleasant task at hand. “The point is I did save Nick’s life that day but I didn’t know him. Not really. There was…” 

She glanced over at Vikki who had the good graces to look guilty though Julie had no interest in calling her out. 

“There was a mix-up,” Julie explained. “And everyone thought I was Nick’s fiancee. It all happened so fast.” 

“You could have told us,” Emily said, her voice rising in pitch slightly. 

Julie shrugged helplessly. 

“I didn’t know how. And if I’m being honest...I didn’t want to tell you, any of you. Because my life had been so lonely for so long and suddenly I was a member of this amazing family, a daughter, and a granddaughter and a cousin and friend and…” 

She glanced over at a slightly shell shocked looking Nick apologetically. 

“A fiancee. I fell in love with Luke but really I fell in love with all of you. Being with you all, it was a dream. And I just...wasn’t ready to wake up yet. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

She could see that both Emily and Grandma Rose were wiping away tears and both Flynn and Kayla had eyes that looked at the very least slightly shiny. Nick was still frowning as though trying to process everything that he had just heard. Julie only wanted to gauge one person’s reaction at that moment though. She allowed her eyes to drift over to Luke, who was most definitely not smiling anymore. His eyes ached with something familiar though she couldn’t describe it in words. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He practically whispered, the sound carrying farther than it normally would have in the uncomfortable silence of the chapel. 

Julie sucked in a shaky breath before giving him an honest answer. 

“I was scared.” 

He opened his mouth to respond but before he could speak a shrill voice called out from the entrance to the chapel. 

“I object!” 

“You’re late,” Alex replied sarcastically. “We’ve had enough objections for today, thanks.” 

The newcomer was a young woman roughly her age with long, dirty blonde hair and a dress that looked like it cost more than Julie’s monthly rent. She was stomping down the aisle and approaching Nick at an alarming speed. 

“Nick can’t marry her,” She announced, jabbing a finger in Julie’s direction. “He’s going to marry me.” 

“You proposed to her too?” Reggie asked in confusion. 

“Maybe, I have amnesia,” Nick shrugged. “We were definitely dating a few months ago though.” 

“Ok...you never had amnesia, buddy,” Alex explained with a sigh. “Keep up.” 

“Who the hell is this one?” Grandma Rose asked loudly. 

“Carrie Wilson,” The girl snapped as though that should mean something to them as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

“C.W.,” Luke said with a little mirthless chuckle. “Of course.” 

“The point is this wedding has to stop!” Carrie insisted, her voice bordering on a shriek. “Just because he technically hadn’t gotten around to proposing yet…” 

“That’s kind of a huge technicality,” Flynn pointed out. 

“Were you serious with this girl, Nick?” Emily asked agitatedly. “Why didn’t we ever meet her?” 

“Hey, hey can we focus on the fact that apparently Luke made a play for my sort of fiancee?” Nick insisted, waving the arm that wasn’t connected to the IV wildly. 

The entire room erupted into loud conversation, everyone shouting and talking over each other and Julie made eye contact with Luke looking for a sign that she hadn’t just destroyed everything between them. 

All she found was a mix of hurt and lingering confusion. 

And that was fair, it was more than fair. 

It just still hurt. 

Suddenly it was like all of the air had been sucked out of the room and Julie just needed to get out of here. She took advantage of the chaos in the room to turn and hurry out of the chapel, fairly sure that at least one person called after her but not stopping to see who it might be. She just needed to go home. She just needed to be alone. 

She just needed to try to get used to that again. 

She spent that night with her phone powered off and her arms wrapped around a mostly accommodating Meow, hoping that wherever her mom was watching her from, she wasn’t too disappointed. 

In fact she spent most of the day after that in basically the same position. 

But the next day classes started again and she had to work so she had no choice but to emerge out into the world. And really..as painful as it was, as many things as she wished were different...she felt lighter somehow. She had told the truth but more than that, her time with the Pattersons had taught her that she still had the capacity to laugh and connect and sing and love . Those things were all hers to keep even if in the end...they weren’t. 

Even if she didn’t get to keep Luke. 

She made it through the two classes she had that day without incident and headed to her shift with Flynn manning the booth at her usual station. There was an awkward few minutes during which Flynn tried to talk about anything but the catastrophe that had been Julie’s life lately before Julie finally just put it out in the open. 

“Flynn, I’m fine, really,” She said softly, surprised to find that she meant it. “I thought it was the end of everything but...ok, this is so incredibly cheesy, but it’s like I woke up this morning and realized it’s not the end of me , you know?” 

Flynn smiled at that. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s great, Jules. Really.” 

After that they passed the time by chatting about the guy in Flynn’s biology class that she was crushing on until it was time for Flynn to leave. 

“You don’t mind me taking off a little early? I can stay if you want.” 

Julie shook her head. 

“No you go, you’ve covered for me enough times.” 

Flynn surprised her by leaning in to give her a quick hug. 

“Bye, friend,” She said with a raised eyebrow after she pulled back, as though daring Julie to disagree with that label. 

Julie laughed and shook her head. 

“Bye, friend.” 

Then Flynn was gone and Julie was left alone with her own thoughts. Only she wasn’t left alone with them for long. She had barely settled back more firmly into her chair when an unfamiliar tinkling sound had her eyes darting to the old metal depression under the window that people used to use to pay their tokens to ride the train. Sure enough, a token was resting there. 

Julie raised her eyebrows and brought her head up sharply, already speaking in amusement as she did so. 

“Wow, you know I’ve never seen anyone actually try to put a token through there…” 

Her words trailed off as her throat closed up in pure shock as she realized who she was talking to. Luke was standing on the other side of the glass, that orange beanie of his firmly on his head as those adorably dumb little pieces of hair flipped up from underneath it. He looked so good, so Luke that she almost burst into tears at the sight of him. She couldn’t give him all of her focus though, not when there was a whole crowd of people standing behind him. There was Emily and Mitch and Grandma Rose, Reggie and Alex were there too. And there, right in the back were her dad and Carlos. 

“Dad? Carlos? Why...how are you here?” 

“I have my ways of tracking people down,” Emily said proudly. 

“We have a lot to talk about, Mija,” Her dad said with a knowing smile. “A lot. But first, I think this young man has something to ask you.” 

Julie’s eyes were drawn back to Luke as her heart kicked up a harsh rhythm in her chest that would rival any beat Alex had ever given life to. Luke grinned, that grin that she was never going to get used to, not even if against the odds she got to see it everyday for the rest of her life. 

“So, you don’t take tokens anymore,” Luke said, reaching into his pocket to drop something else under her window. “How about this?” 

Julie’s eyes dropped to see what he had deposited this time and couldn’t help but gasp when she saw what it was. 

A ring.

A diamond ring. 

She reached out instinctively to pick it up with gentle fingers, sliding it onto the end of her thumb just so she could look at it without dropping it as her hands shook slightly. She forced her eyes back up to meet Luke’s, a disbelieving smile starting to creep onto her face. 

“You still haven’t actually asked her yet,” Grandma Rose pointed out. 

“He’s doing it, give him a minute,” Alex insisted. 

“He’s working up to it,” Her dad added helpfully. 

“Working up to what?” Reggie asked. 

“The proposal!” Emily and Mitch said at the same time. 

Julie couldn’t help it, she burst out laughing at the familiar sounds of her family, almost her whole family bantering like they always did. Like maybe she hadn’t ruined things after all. 

Luke groaned and pressed his face closer to the glass. 

“Julie, can I come in there?” 

Julie nodded through her laughter and Luke quickly jogged around to the other side of the booth, Julie pressing the button to unlock the door between them. Luke slipped inside and instantly crowded into her space. 

“Hi.” 

Julie bit her lip as she looked up at him, the cold weight of the ring still perched on her thumb still very much in the center of her awareness. 

“Hi.” 

“What did you think of the whole token then ring thing?” He asked as he leaned down to bring his face level with hers. 

“Um hm, it was good,” She murmured, finally allowing her eyes to dart to his lips the way they always wanted to.

“Cause someone once told me that every once in a while a big gesture is a good thing,” Luke continued. 

“Right,” Julie agreed impatiently. “You nailed it.” 

“I thought the whole family being here was a good touch and…” 

Julie couldn’t take it anymore, she leaned up to press her lips firmly against Luke’s, drawing back after a few seconds only for his lips to chase after hers. 

“Luke?” She whispered. 

“Yeah?” He answered, clearly still a little stunned. 

“Didn’t you have something you wanted to ask me?”

He seemed to recover enough of his senses to find that funny. 

“Oh, right. Marry me?” 

Julie smirked. 

“Two conditions.” 

Luke raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

“We have a long engagement,” Julie teased. “And we don’t get married in a hospital.” 

Then Luke’s grin was back. 

“I think I can live with that.”  

And then they were kissing again, properly this time, like she had been dying to do since that less than satisfactory mistletoe kiss. Their lips moved against each others gently but insistently, Julie’s hands finding their way up to toy with the hair at the nape of his neck. The kiss probably would have gone on a lot longer if their audience hadn’t made themselves known. 

“Ew, we sat on a plane all day to watch Julie makeout with some guy?” Carlos asked with disgust. 

“That guy is your new uncle, little dude,” Reggie informed him. 

“That’s...that’s not how this works,” Alex said with exasperation. “Ok, you know what, whatever.” 

“Oh will you kids be quiet, this is the best part!” Grandma Rose said enthusiastically. 

Soon the entire family was chattering away and Julie and Luke were laughing into each other’s mouths before finally pulling apart, just far enough to be decent in front of the gathered onlookers. 

“I love you,” Julie blurted, unable to hold it in for one second more. 

Luke grinned yet again, his thumb coming up to rub gently at her cheek. 

“I love you too.” 

It was a perfect moment. 

The kind of moment that Julie knew she would be able to plant in her mind, a perfect moment that would one day become one of those overly saturated, easy to recall in perfect detail memories. But it was more than that. 

Because she didn’t just have memories to look forward to anymore. 

She had days spent with family. 

She had music. 

She had Luke. 

And for the first time in a long time...she had herself .

And so Julie ended up with her happy ending even if it wasn’t the one she thought she needed. It was the kind she knew her mom would approve of. The kind that came from within herself. Her time with the Pattersons was supposed to be about waiting for Nick to wake up but in the end she realized it had really been about waiting for her to wake up. 

And she was wide awake now. 

They waited a few more years to get married, until Julie had graduated from college (in the music program, where she belonged) and Sunset Curve had both a manager, a growing fanbase and an offer from a label on the table that made it look like making it was right on the horizon (with a certain female vocalist joining the band along the way). But they got their wedding and it wasn’t in a hospital chapel. It was at The Globe Theatre in London, a location that both retraced the footsteps of her mother and allowed Julie to teasingly tell anyone who would listen that Luke had given her the world. 

So it turned out she had thought Nick was her future husband but it was his brother she was meant to be with all along. 

She would call that destiny if it wouldn’t give Luke an unbearably big head. 

Still, on her more romantic days she believed it as much as she had ever believed anything. 

Nick asked her once when it was that she fell in love with Luke and she told him. 

“It was while you were sleeping.”