Work Text:
Kokichi doesn’t know what’s happening.
Saihara-chan has not answered any of his texts for the past few days. Saihara-chan has not shown any indication that he’s read any of his texts for the past few days. Saihara-chan has not shown up to class very much in the past few days.
(Yes, Kokichi knows that skipping classes isn’t exactly uncommon in their school, but Saihara-chan has always been insistent on showing up to every single one of them. His boyfriend has always been the epitome of a model pupil and a “good kid”, ironically enough for someone like Kokichi .)
In conclusion, Saihara-chan has pretty much been a ghost for the past few days.
There’s no clear reason for it.
Now, Kokichi is no detective, not like his boyfriend wishes to be, but he is an analyst, even if it’s just a hobby, and even if it’s just for Danganronpa - with half a hundred seasons of similarities and patterns to draw from. Arguably, people are just like that as well. Kokichi has four years of knowing the other boy, three years of watching Saihara-chan’s analysis videos, two years of collaborating with the taller in his videos and two months of dating him. That’s plenty of experience to analyse his behaviour.
The obvious answer would be that Kokichi’s last message to the other boy had been a little insensitive. (If he squints and imagines it just right, it almost sounds like he implied that the other was clingy. Saihara-chan is… not clingy. And, even if he were, it’s not like Kokichi dislikes it?)
The obvious answer doesn’t make perfect sense. If that were the case, it would make far more sense for Saihara-chan to continue showing up to classes, but avoid Kokichi instead. Something drastic must have happened to cause the detective-wannabe to stop showing up for classes.
It’s entirely possible for it to be a combination of things as well, because things are rarely clear-cut in the real world.
Kokichi lets his call to his boyfriend ring out, then sighs and hangs up as he gets no response. It’s worrying and, quite frankly, getting a little absurd at this point.
Twirling a strand of hair, he makes his decision. If Saihara-chan won’t respond to him, then Kokichi will make him respond.
-
Saihara-chan’s apartment building is nothing to write home about. The size of his small flat is the same - though the numerous Danganronpa merch inside the apartment might give people a different idea. The door is non-descript, but Kokichi finds himself staring at it uncertainly for a few minutes.
What if Saihara-chan isn’t home? What if he shuts the door in Kokichi’s face? What if Kokichi is overstepping his boundaries? What if Saihara-chan hates him? What if Kokichi really messed up with that message? What if someone broke in before he did and severely injured and/or killed Saihara-chan?
Kokichi shakes his head rapidly to clear his mind of the catastrophic line of thinking. There’s no point continuing on the “what if” train, especially not if it’s only going to make him overthink and come to increasingly drastic and unrealistic conclusions. He knows better than that.
He takes a deep breath and presses the doorbell, listening to it ring out through the door.
There’s no immediate response and Kokichi temporarily entertains the urge to run away. Maybe Saihara-chan isn’t home after all. Yeah! That would make sense.
...Who is he trying to kid?
No, not really. Even in a small apartment, it takes time to traverse to the door, and…
There.
Kokichi hears the pitter-patter of footsteps that can only belong to Saihara-chan, his sharp hearing proving its usefulness for once.
“I know you’re there, Saihara-chan,” he calls out, when the footsteps stop and the door still doesn’t open. “I have the work you missed in the last few days.”
Saihara-chan opens the door, bowing awkwardly in greeting and looking anywhere but at Kokichi. It hurts, but the taller boy’s expression… “Thank you, Ouma-kun.”
Saihara-chan’s voice is weak, and his hands clearly tremble as he accepts the folder of papers. His boyfriend looks drained. Wrung-out. Sad. Are those tears brimming in the other’s eyes?
“Are you okay?” Kokichi asks, frowning. Saihara-chan hugs the worksheets and notes with one hand and tugs at his cap with the other, shifting to let the door close on its own. Kokichi shoves his shoe and foot in-between it and the door frame, acting as a stopper. He hopes the other doesn’t mind. “You know I won’t leave until I get an answer, right?”
Saihara-chan’s shoulders shake, and his grip on the door visibly tenses. “You should go home,” the other murmurs. “Finish up your homework or write an analysis or something.”
“I think I’m where I need to be,” Kokichi tries to meet his partner’s eyes. ‘Look at me,’ he thinks at his boyfriend.
Saihara-chan shudders almost imperceptibly, like something cold and bad washed over him. “You should go home,” his boyfriend breathes out, repeating himself. His tone is a far cry from his usual (maybe sometimes overtly) enthusiastic one.
“Saihara-cha-”
Said male nudges Kokichi’s foot out and shuts the door quickly, leaving Kokichi staring at the same plain door.
(There’s probably something poetic about this whole situation, but he can’t be bothered to find it, staring blankly at the door in his face before eventually - reluctantly - making his slow way back home.)
-
The radio silence persists, but there’s something sickeningly soothing about the aftermath of the interaction.
Selfishly, Kokichi takes comfort in the fact that he’s probably not the cause of the other’s treatment, and that it’s far more likely to be something internal.
(But that kind of sort of makes it worse, because then Kokichi can’t directly fix it like he so badly wants to.)
He can try. It means that his presence isn’t necessarily unwanted. It means…
It means that Saihara-chan has probably convinced himself of something and this is his solution...? Yes, that sounds about right - perfectly on-brand for his boyfriend. Kokichi nods firmly to himself. That’s right. Now that he knows, all that’s left to do is figure out what Saihara-chan has got his pretty mind so twisted up over and fix it.
-
Kokichi would love to say that he figured it out all on his own, but no dice.
His saving grace comes in the form of multiple steps and an eventual realisation.
One, Ouma Kokichi gets the acceptance letter he’s been waiting for.
Two, he signs the attached NDA.
Three, AsagiAnalytics makes a community post, citing an indefinite hiatus.
Four, LuckyH-Insights starts drafting a Tumblr post, prepared to apologise for and explain away his upcoming absence.
Five, Kokichi realises how everything adds up.
-
Kokichi returns to Saihara-chan’s door, lock-picking kit in hand. So maybe breaking and entering is a little illegal. So what? After these two weeks of silent treatment and the final realisation, Kokichi feels somewhat justified to do it, even if his mind screams at him about how very illegal all of this is.
The recklessly confident part of him makes a rare appearance as he quickly picks the lock to his boyfriend’s door before he can regret it - taking off his shoes, sliding in and closing the door behind him. Efficient and near-silent.
The apartment is the same as the last time Kokichi had been here for a date night of re-watching their favourite parts of Season 36. The shelves are filled with various Danganronpa merch, but Kokichi knows that the real deal is with Saihara-chan’s bedroom - covered wall-to-wall with Kirigiri Kyouko merch.
Saihara-chan’s shoes sit on the shoe rack. That’s all the information that Kokichi needs, and he locks the door behind him.
The living area of the apartment is empty and - given the lack of noise coming from the kitchen - Kokichi sincerely doubts that his boyfriend is cooking. In his bedroom, most likely. Either sleeping, jotting down video ideas, or re-watching Danganronpa compilations. Maybe even planning yet another potential murder and drilling it into his brain in hopes of remembering it despite Team DR’s memory-personality change thingy.
The bedroom, Kokichi muses, is a decent enough place for this confrontation. He just hopes that Saihara-chan isn’t sleeping. That would be awkward.
He gathers his confidence for a dramatic entrance, pushing the bedroom door open enthusiastically. “Your favourite person has made his appearance!” He announces with a flourish. “Bow down to your almighty leader!”
He watches as his boyfriend falters and drops his phone. Said boyfriend is thankfully lying down on his bed chest-first, so the bed drops onto the mattress with no permanent damage done.
“O- Ouma-kun?” The blue-haired boy fumbles around, finally grabbing onto his cap, swiping it off the bedside table and shoving it firmly over his head and covering his eyes. “You-”
“Nope!” Kokichi chirps, crawling onto the other’s bed and pressing a finger to Saihara-chan’s lips. “My turn to speak. Capiche, Saihara-chan?”
He backs off without waiting for an answer, just in case he’s too close for the other’s liking. It might be one of those days, but he doesn’t think so, since Saihara-chan has that look on his face that means he wants a hug, even if the look is more conflicted than it usually is. Kokichi would be more than willing to give him one, but not yet, though.
He still has things that he needs to say, after all.
“So,” he offers, tone conversational. “I got a letter from Team DR. I’d ask you to guess its contents, but given your community post and your recent behaviour, I think you know exactly what it says.”
There’s a kicked-puppy look on Saihara-chan’s face. It doesn’t make him feel any better about the situation at all.
Sighing, Kokichi droops down onto the bed, focusing on the spongy mattress beneath him, rather than his boyfriend in front of him. “I know you couldn’t have told me,” he says, reluctantly and lacking the grandioseness of his previous declarations. “But I still don’t get why you pulled away.”
Saihara-chan mumbles unintelligibly, fingers twitching like he wants to reach out. Kokichi does it for him, intertwining their fingers. “Saihara-chan needs to speak up,” he murmurs. “I can’t hear what he’s saying.”
“...I’m sorry.”
It’s plain, but it’s genuine, and so Kokichi lets it pass, staring down at their fingers. This is the most affectionate they’ve been in two weeks. It reminds him about how much he’s missed the other.
“You know you actually need to talk about these things, right?” He pushes, despite the other’s uncomfortable expression. “Letting it stew won’t do either of us any good.”
“...I know,” Saihara-chan breathes out. “But… later? I just…”
Kokichi assesses his boyfriend carefully, and takes note of how he clearly has the urge for physical contact. “Do you want a hug?”
“Please.”
Kokichi obliges, pulling the other close and letting his head rest in the crook of the other’s neck. Saihara-chan’s irregular breaths hit the back of his neck, making him shiver. “It’s okay to be scared, you know?” He whispers. “Just don’t push me away.”
“I’m not gonna exist soon,” Saihara-chan murmurs in response. “Neither are you. Our memories…”
“What, are you telling me you’re gonna fall for someone else in the killing game?” Kokichi prods, taking care to make sure his tone is noticeably playful. “You know they can’t erase it, not really.”
“They can redirect it,” Saihara-chan points out, voice hitching.
Kokichi rubs the other’s back in what he hopes is a soothing motion. “They may not. And even if they do, it won’t stick for long if you don’t feed it. You know that right? I’ll make you fall in love with me again.”
His boyfriend’s voice would’ve been inaudible if it weren’t right next to his ear. “I… I don’t- I don’t want to forget you.”
Something in Kokichi softens at that. He feels it too - he doesn’t want to forget about Saihara-chan either. “Then we’ll leave little things for our post-game selves, yeah? Something… Something so that they can know what we are like, and…”
“That sounds… nice.”