Actions

Work Header

Sorrowful memories

Summary:

Rutile takes a moment after the night raid to reminisce. They remember the earlier times when things were more relaxed. The times when they could lay and do nothing for hours. The times when the gems would frolic and mess around with each other.

They long for those days to return once more. But despite that, they're forced to look at the future and try to move forward.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

The sound of clicking filled the night as all the gems finally headed to rest after the raid. They lost, which was to be expected. 

 

Everyone had cracks all over their fragile bodies and had small pieces missing. Rutile let out a heavy sigh as they looked over to Kongo-Sensei. His hands moved quickly as he pieced Neptunite’s torso back together before looking over to Bort. The two had a conversation about something, presumably about their mercury-covered hair. Rutile watched their lips move before their view was blocked by Morganite. A part of them wanted to get up and figure out what they were discussing, but it wasn’t their business anymore. It wasn’t their job anymore.

 

They glanced down at the ground between their legs, a frown forming on their cracked lips. The uncomfortable feeling crept back into their chest, which had oddly begun to comfort them in some way. They couldn’t explain why anything was happening, but then again, they were sure that no one really knew much. Besides, the only people who actually liked spending time in the library had all been taken away. And they were sure that everyone present had forgotten all the information they were taught. 

 

Someone in the distance let out a squeal, which was then followed by soft gasps. Rutile turned to see what happened in that area. A small group of gems were discussing things around Cinnabar and Bort. From what they could see among the crowd, a pile of long, black hair was discarded on the ground. As they scanned the scene, their eyes unconsciously drifted over to Kongo-Sensei. The longer they looked at them, the more the feeling in their chest continued to grow. They longed to be in his spot; they wanted to be the quack doctor that they had always been known as.

 

But they can’t do that anymore. When Phosphophyllite went to the moon, they took something or someone special from everyone. All the gems on earth had something left that they could hold onto. Rutile, on the other hand, didn’t have anything left for them. Everything that they had was taken away from them before they knew it.

 

While they took a step away from the infirmary, Phos took… no… stole Padparadscha from them. And on top of that, their role as the doctor was stripped away. They had been left with nothing and they had become just as they were— useless . They had no unique role to differentiate them from the other gems. 

 

Rutile exhaled and gazed out of the school and into the field. If they looked hard enough, they were sure that they could see the faint sparkles of remaining fragments hidden in the strands of grass. They clicked their tongue in annoyance before their eyes drifted up to look at the night sky. Even with all of the stars delicately flickering, they couldn’t compliment its beauty anymore. The night sky was nothing like it was before; the thought of it made them sick. They stared at the glittering canvas for a bit longer before tearing their eyes back to the grass. Though the remaining shards scattered on the ground weren't much better . Their eyes bounced to different places to see if anything would make them feel just a little better. 

 

They looked at a giant crack in one of the pillars, broken pieces of swords laying around, and a line of discarded shoes. They looked at the swaying grass once more, the soft glows of the jellyfish, and a group of gems that were sitting in a circle.  They inhaled deeply and held it for a bit before exhaling, defeated. Rutile closed their eyes softly, tuning in and out of the overlapping conversations that were happening all at once.

 

“You look sooo different like that, Bort!”

 

“Yellow was the same weren’t they?”

 

“You were super cool, Cinnabar!”

“Do you think Phos will be back?”

“Ah...Their weapons were so cool!”

“Man… Padparadscha was so—”

It’s no use…  They thought with yet another sigh of defeat. 

 

They were soon left alone with their thoughts for a bit before they figured that they should get some sleep. They had been preparing for this moment for weeks, only to fail and be destroyed. The least that everyone could do now was rest and make their next plan of action later on. Though, planning felt unnecessary, considering the fact that the same thing might happen again. 

 

They let their body finally relax for the first time in hours and let their eyes close. The voices from the other gems slowly drifted into silence, eventually going to sleep.

 

The next time their eyes opened, they were blinded by the bright light of the sun. Rutile let out a stifled grunt as they raised a gloved hand to block the sun from their eyes. They lay there for a bit before slowly sitting up with a heavy exhale. They moved the delicate strands of hair out of their face before looking outside. A strong gust of spring wind came their way, immediately undoing their work. They frowned and sighed as they watched Benito and Neptunite stop walking to do a quick game of rock-paper-scissors to settle some kind of argument. The blue gem’s shoulders slumped in defeat before they went back on their way.

 

Rutile let out a small chuckle and let their eyes drift. From the looks of it, everyone was off doing their own thing. The Amethyst twins were off chasing some butterfly, Zircon and Yellow were talking about something, and Bort and Diamond were being complicated, as usual. Rutile turned to look behind them to see what was going on inside the school. Though almost completely empty, it was still a bit more lively than usual. 

 

Lapis Lazuli and Ghost Quartz were on their way back to the library; Alexandrite and Chrysoberyl were stopped by Red Beryl. And Euclase was watching Jade scold the new teal gem that was glued to their shin. Rutile watched the commotion for some time before laying back down and looking at the tall arch above them. Another strong gust of wind came through, followed by the soft rustle of the grass and leaves. Rutile listened to Jade’s wails as they thought about how much they didn’t want to do anything for the rest of the day. Everything seemed tame—no Lunarians coming through, and no one had been injured or taken to the moon. And to be honest, they were almost positive that anyone other than Jade would let them go back to their afternoon nap. Then again, Jade was  preoccupied with other things at the moment, so Rutile had complete control of what they wanted to do.

 

They closed their eyes as the sun beamed down on them. They had just gotten comfortable when their face furrowed, remembering all that they needed to get some things done today. Rutile told themselves the day before that they needed to go to Chord Shore to look for pieces. Today seemed like the best day to do it, since nothing eventful was happening. It would also be ideal if they rearranged their shelves. They’ve gotten more and more unorganized as time went on. They also probably should go see if Sphene started working on the bowls they asked for weeks ago.

 

Unfortunately, they were too lazy to get up and get stuff done at that moment. It was too much work going all the way to the shore, gathering up the pieces, heading all the way back, carving out each piece, and seeing if any of them worked. Not to mention, they had to go through and reorganize their shelf, and then hassle Sphene for their bowls. 

 

They quarreled with themselves in their head about what to do with the remaining daytime. Eventually they allowed their eyes to close and got themselves comfy once again. They let out a heavy sigh and— 

 

“Rutile!”

“Ah… Great…” They arose from their napping place and turned to see who had called their name. Helidor, who was missing their hand, walked over sheepishly. 

 

They set their hand on the examination table. “My hand broke off…”

“I can see that…” Rutile sighed and turned to the shelf to grab the container with the glue. “What happened this time?” 

 

Helidor chuckled and rubbed the back of their head with their other hand. “I was practicing with Pink Fluorite and their blade hit my wrist.”

Rutile let out a small hum and took a gentle hold of their wrist. “Be more careful next time, alright?”

 

The younger gem nodded softly and watched Rutile work. The doctor grabbed the small and delicate pieces before reaching for their tools. A small bit of adhesive went onto shards before joining the rest of Heliodor’s arm. It made a small, but satisfying click as the shard snapped into place. It was soon followed by more soft noises until a dainty hand was formed. Rutile turned back around and scanned the bowls for the powder and adhesive. They then put some tools back and grabbed their cosmetic brush. 

 

Turning back to the other, they grabbed a hold of their hand once more. The adhesive was lightly applied before a thin, even layer was brushed on. When the doctor was confident in their work, they sighed and put their supplies down. “Is that alright?”

 

Heliodor moved their hand around before they smiled. “Yup! It feels good as new, thanks Rutile!”

They shook their head and gathered their things. “No problem, be careful next time.”

“Got it!” They waved before they ran down the corridor. Rutile watched them with a careful eye before putting their supplies back. They sighed before they looked back outside.

 

Their eyes grazed the rolling green grass, the steadily blooming flowers, and the gentle flaps of the butterflies. In the distance, the sun reflected on the gems’ heads as they wandered around. Their eyes darted around for a bit more before they grabbed a large bowl. “Well, I’m up…” 

 

Rutile walked down the hall with the bowl sitting nicely on their waist. They stopped when they saw Jade still struggling with the younger gem. They smiled softly before they continued their way outside of the school building. They stepped out onto the soft, luscious grass and stood there for a bit. They stared off into the horizon, admiring the scene around them. As another gust of wind came through, they softly closed their eyes once more.

 

When their eyes opened again, they were being swept away with the others. Red Beryl handed them a simple white dress and a flower crown. Rutile grabbed and frowned. “Do… I have to wear this?”

The red gem frowned. “Yes! You have to join us. It won’t be the same without you.”

 

Watermelon poked their head out. “Yea! Don’t be a party pooper.”

A small assortment of “yeah’s” followed.

 

Rutile looked at the multiple pairs of eyes looking at them before glancing back at the outfit in their hands. They sighed in defeat and frowned. “Fine…”

Red Beryl nodded with a small hum. “Good.”

 

They all discarded their spring clothing and put on their white dresses. Their crowns were delicately placed on their heads and they walked out into the sun. Morganite assisted in splitting everyone up into small groups to look for more flowers. Rutile was paired with Jade, which they didn’t mind too much—it was better than being with the more energetic gems.

 

The pair was quiet for a while and focused on picking the scattered flowers. Jade then let out a heavy sigh and looked at them. “You know… You can lower your guard.”

 

Rutile furrowed their eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

 

“You’re still… so cold. Things are better now—Padparadscha’s back, the Lunarians are gone, we’re all happy.” Jade looked out into the distance and sighed once more. “There’s no reason to be so distant.”

The other looked at them and frowned. “But it’s not the same, Jade.”

 

“It doesn’t need to be the same, the fact that it’s better is enough. We don’t need a doctor or anything anymore, we’re fine as we are.”

 

Rutile looked at them for a few seconds. “Yea, maybe.”

Jade bent down and plucked a few more flowers. “So relax just a tad, it’ll be alright.”

 

“Yea…”

 

Everyone grouped back together with their bowls filled with flowers. They spent the rest of their time tying all of their flowers into necklaces. Once Euclase and Kongo came over the horizon, they gathered once more. In a swift moment, they gathered their petals and tossed them in the air. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

 

Laughter spread through the air as they celebrated. A bouquet was being tossed between hands with a trail of loose petals and talk over the day's festivities. Though they didn’t do much other than collecting flowers, Rutile spent their time next to Padparadscha. 

 

Their hazel eyes watched the others prance across the grass. They peered over to Jade and Bort, where they were conversing over a bowl of jumping jellyfish. Quite typical of them, really. 

 

Rutile sighed, staying quiet as they looked down at the sleeping gem next to them. They took a flower that was between their fingertips and placed it in their face. They frowned softly before gazing back at the others. “I guess I should let go of the past…”

 

The former doctor was eventually dragged off to join the others. They spent the rest of the day celebrating and running around. When they were exhausted, they collapsed on the ground and closed their eyes. 

 

When Rutile opened their eyes for the last time, they looked up at the setting sun. They stared off for a few seconds, snapping out of it until they heard murmurs of confusion. They sat up from the ground and looked, seeing the sky littered with numerous sunspots. 

 

Rutile’s lips turned into a frown and let out a heavy sigh. 

 

“Ah… That’s a shame.”

Notes:

Here’s my piece for the Rutile Zine! I meant to post it earlier but I ended up being busy.

I’m so glad that I was able to be apart of this project. I had a blast working on it and working with everyone involved