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kiri's teeth are weapons

Summary:

did anyone order some kiribaku crack? no? too bad.

Work Text:

red: aZCBHFSX OH MY GOD 

 

pink: what happened ei???

 

red: so i was, like,,, making out with bakuhoe

 

small might: because that's just something that happens all the time apparently

 

boom boom: don't fucking call me that kirishima

 

red: and he looks at me all sexy and shit and he's like "bite me" and i bite his ear

 

flextape: why are you telling me this

 

jax: also you used the word "and" four times

 

red: aND HE STARTS FUCKING BLEEDING

 

pink: omg ei

 

red: and i'm just standing there like "what the fuck??? what do i do??? i think i broke my boyfriend???"

 

boom boom: you didn't fucking break me

 

red: and my immediate thought is "his ear is gonna get infected"

red: so i grab a bottle of hand sanitizer

 

pink: oH MY GOD EI

 

red: i start dabbing it on his ear

 

boom boom: like a fucking weirdo

 

red: and his mom chooses that exact moment to come in and offer us cookies.

 

jax: jesus christ

 

icythot: who?

 

red: let me explain to you what she saw:

red: her son shirtless on his bed, his boyfriend gently dabbing hand sanitizer on his bleeding ear.

 

pika pika: my god

 

small might: and she let you survive???

 

red: she took one look at us and exited stage left

 

small might: wow

small might: she didn't even yell

 

red: anywayssssss

red: that's how i accidentally pierced bakugou's ear

 

jax: you  w h a t

 

boom boom: yeah his teeth are fuckin weapons