Work Text:
red: aZCBHFSX OH MY GOD
pink: what happened ei???
red: so i was, like,,, making out with bakuhoe
small might: because that's just something that happens all the time apparently
boom boom: don't fucking call me that kirishima
red: and he looks at me all sexy and shit and he's like "bite me" and i bite his ear
flextape: why are you telling me this
jax: also you used the word "and" four times
red: aND HE STARTS FUCKING BLEEDING
pink: omg ei
red: and i'm just standing there like "what the fuck??? what do i do??? i think i broke my boyfriend???"
boom boom: you didn't fucking break me
red: and my immediate thought is "his ear is gonna get infected"
red: so i grab a bottle of hand sanitizer
pink: oH MY GOD EI
red: i start dabbing it on his ear
boom boom: like a fucking weirdo
red: and his mom chooses that exact moment to come in and offer us cookies.
jax: jesus christ
icythot: who?
red: let me explain to you what she saw:
red: her son shirtless on his bed, his boyfriend gently dabbing hand sanitizer on his bleeding ear.
pika pika: my god
small might: and she let you survive???
red: she took one look at us and exited stage left
small might: wow
small might: she didn't even yell
red: anywayssssss
red: that's how i accidentally pierced bakugou's ear
jax: you w h a t
boom boom: yeah his teeth are fuckin weapons