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Alex walked through the doors of Brookland Comprehensive, all too aware of the many stares he was getting.
Not for the first time, he wished school jackets had hoods. At least he wouldn’t have to see people gawking, though it wouldn’t do much about the whispers.
“Alex! Hey, Alex!”
He turned to see Amelia Richardson skidding to a halt behind him, her short brunette hair bouncing.
“Oh, hello Lia.”
“Hey. Long time no see, yeah?” Lia grinned, paying no mind to the glances thrown in her direction. Being the only girl on the football team, she had long gotten used to that.
“I suppose.”
How long had he had been out of school this time? Four weeks? It felt longer.
His short answers seemed to take a bit of the lightness out of Lia’s tone.
“Yeah. Well anyway, coach wants to know if you’re sure about quitting the team. You’re one of our best, you know.”
Alex had thought long about it. Being a football player had been his dream since he was 9. But with MI6 pulling him out of school more frequently and without warning, he barely had time for his homework, let alone football. Better to let someone new on the field. Someone who could actually make it to practice sessions.
“I’m sure about it. Sorry I can’t help out in the Spennish Conquest.”
‘The Spennish Conquest’ was what Tom Harris had dubbed the war he had declared on Spencer Comprehensive’s football team. After losing by a disgraceful 1 to 5, Tom and Coach Royall had been working the team to (figurative) death. Or so Alex heard. He’d been away at the time, trying to avoid (literal) death.
Lia’s face spread into a wide grin. “Hey, you know about it!”
“’Course he does Lee, it’s all over school.” James Hale, the team’s goalkeeper, walked up.
James, with his slim build and shaggy light brown hair didn’t seem much like goalkeeping material, but he could block a ball like nobody’s business.
“And Alex, if you’re quitting ’cause you’re worried about letting the team down with all your- illnesses-”
Alex caught the slight hesitation. James didn’t believe he was sick that often.
“-You’re one of our best. Being sick a lot doesn’t change that. What I’m saying is, you don’t have to worry about it. You could just come when you can.”
“Thanks James, but I’m sure about it. Tell the team I’m sorry?”
“Oh. Okay then. And you don’t have to feel sorry about it. It’s your choice to make, after all.”
“Yeah, you've earned some rest. Just focus on getting better. And remember, you're always welcome to come back.” Lia grinned.
“Thanks for understanding, James. Lia.” Alex flashed a quick smile at the two, then turned to go.
“Alex?” James called from behind.
Alex looked back. “Yes?”
James hesitated. “If you ever want to talk about something, anything... you know we’re here, right?”
Lia nodded beside him, making her hair bounce again. Her brown eyes reflected the concern in James' blue ones.
Alex gave another smile and a nod. “Thanks, both of you. Appreciate it.”
He turned and walked away, his smile vanishing as soon as his face was hidden.
Alex was bitter. He wished he didn’t have to do this. He wished he didn’t have to walk away. But even if he didn’t, what would he say?
At the end of the day, it wasn’t about “Classified Information” or “For Their Own Safety”. He just couldn’t tell them.
Sure, he had told Tom a small part, but that had been necessary at the time. Tom had never asked beyond that, and Alex had volunteered very little more.
The plain truth was that Alex was out of place. He didn’t fit in with spies, but he certainly didn’t fit in with schoolchildren. He wasn’t a “child”, not anymore. He hadn’t been a child since the day of Ian Rider’s funeral.
But around him, he saw children. Children, who had never had to fight for their lives, who had never had to witness murder, who had never had to commit murder.
They did not understand the world Alex lived in, one layer under the shallow sunny surface they knew. They never would.
Alex wished he could tell them.
But he couldn’t.
It’s never good news when you can’t tell your friends.