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And Hoseok loves nights like this. He does.
Summer nights where the sun sets so late you spend the day anticipating the few hours of darkness that comes to us. Nights where the wind blowing is so gentle that it makes you feel cozy but not cold. He wished he could live nights like this every day, he hates the cold, and everyone knows that. The boys know it and he’s sure the fans know too because he always shows up wearing tons of layers in the winter, maybe more layers than needed but he can’t fucking stand being cold. He needs warmth. It’s just who he is.
But the nights are extremely special to him because he feels too seen in the sunlight. Sometimes it shines so brightly that it blindsight him, making Hoseok feel disorientated. Sometimes it’s too much and he needs summer nights like this one to recharge. To be honest, most of the time things are too much and he feels like he has lived a thousand lives.
The sound of the water of the lake behind him soothes his soul. He wishes he could live like that forever, the cameras are already shut off and he can go to sleep feeling good. Not great. Good. Because something is always missing in the nights.
“Hyung!” Hoseok hears a scream coming from the direction of the house and it takes him off his mind and back to earth.
It’s Jungkook.
It’s Jungkook walking towards him and looking like he had just woken up from his third nap in the day and he is holding his new guitar.
Hoseok straightens himself on the bench, his hands suddenly feel so sweaty and he doesn’t know what to do with them. Hoseok knows this feeling deep down in his soul but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, so the thought comes and goes in his head like a summer breeze. Pull yourself together, will you?
“Do you mind if I sit here with you, hyung? I’m tired of being in the floating house, there’s nothing to do there.”
Hoseok moves himself to his left and leaves a spot for Jungkook to sit, not saying a single word, he can barely remember his name. The feeling on the top of his stomach comes again and he doesn’t know what it is and why it has become so strong the past few days since they started shooting the show.
“S-sure. Yeah,” it’s all he manages to say to instantly regret every word, he must have sounded so harsh and cold, not saying more than a few words and stuttering along the way.
“Thanks.” Jungkook sits down and holds his guitar on his lap, making a barrier between them and Hoseok is so glad for it.
The sounds of the night, just like the summer breeze, are calming too, even as Hoseok’s heart keeps on skipping beats and jumping off his chest. He can hear the frogs coaxing from far away and the sound of the fire crackling in front of him, it warms the night and lights up the space around them even in the total darkness. It’s one of the things that makes him feel okay and that calms his running mind. The fire. Summer breezes. The sound of the water on the lake behind him. Jungkook’s calm presence.
It’s ridiculous actually.
Hoseok knows that but it’s the truth, it is strangely comforting to be around the younger one. Jungkook is a lot steadier than most people give him credit for. Jimin says it’s the Virgo in him. Hoseok doesn’t give a shit about astrology because he is an Aquarius. There’s no way to explain how Jungkook is this solid and at the same time a mix of overflowing warmth. He is just… Hoseok thinks he is beyond this world and worldly explanations.
Just like that.
“How was your day?” Jungkook asks and starts fiddling with his guitar. Adjusting the notes and softly brushing his fingertips on the strings.
“It was alright,” Hoseok says and stops, and soon realizes maybe he should say something more meaningful to strike a conversation. “Saying like that sounds like it was a shit day,” they both chuckle and smile quietly to each other. “It was great. This place feels almost like a vacation, no?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook smiles, Hoseok loves seeing him smile. “Not that we know much about vacations but it feels great to just lay back for a while.”
“Exactly, you’re right,” Hoseok says and breathes out, trying to pull himself back together.
Jungkook keeps messing with his guitar for a few seconds and then starts playing something on it, he plays and plays and stops. Looks around for a few seconds only to keep playing more in the next one. Hoseok can’t take his eyes off of him, almost like a magnetic pull, Jungkook anchors him down and he feels… calm. He feels right where he should be.
The moon shines brightly in the sky, alongside the stars that Hoseok never gets to see in the city. With all the strength he has on his body he looks away from Jungkook and stares at the sky. The stars remind him of something but he can’t quite put his finger around what.
Hoseok has a great imagination, and he is a dreamer. He dreams while still awake and sometimes gets lost in his thoughts and mind, and becomes completely unaware of reality, but not this time. Trying to ground himself to not miss a second of the man beside him, playing a song he doesn’t know but now it will be forever on his mind. Hoseok just wants to burn this moment in his mind forever so he can revisit it in his dreams later.
“When did you become such a good player?” Hoseok blurts out without thinking.
“When I’m walking I think of you—” Jungkook starts playing a song Hoseok knows and doesn’t answer the question, but it’s so contagious he can’t hold back and sings with Jungkook.
“I think of you like this—” Hoseok joins Jungkook and their voices become one until there's only laughter and bodies clinging to each other.
Jungkook stops playing and a light blush takes his cheeks and he holds back a smile, “I’ve been practicing. Does it sound good?”
“It sounds great.”
“Thanks, hyung,” and Jungkook goes back to playing.
Hoseok is a great observer. Not missing a move from Jungkook, he examines his whole face, especially his eyes, and now he knows why the stars look so familiar. He had seen them a million times in Jungkook’s eyes.
Without warning, Jungkook starts humming a song, and Hoseok is taken by surprise, but it is one of the best things he has ever heard because it’s Jungkook. And his voice is the best thing Hoseok has ever had the pleasure to hear. Hoseok can’t believe himself when this thought comes to mind, he feels like a fool. Completely stupid thinking about Jungkook like that. So ridiculous and careless and dumb.
But he can’t stop himself, so he accepts his stupidity and decides that maybe that it will stop eventually. He will stop looking at Jungkook’s lips and will be able to go on with his day without thinking about how soft they must be. Shit. Hoseok just hopes this day comes soon. Because it’s too much, everything is happening all the time and he can’t handle it. Nothing makes sense anymore. He has lost his mind.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook whispers for only Hoseok to hear even there’s no one around them. “You look distressed.”
Hoseok swallows hard, trying to compose himself. “It’s fine.”
“What are you thinking?”
You wouldn’t wanna know.
“Nothing.” Hoseok manages to say, even if his heart is almost coming out of his throat. “Keep playing, please.”
Jungkook stares at him for a few seconds longer to make sure Hoseok is fine, and Hoseok tries as hard as he can to look fine. Eventually, he goes back to playing the guitar, changing the song from before. This one was calmer, and for that Hoseok is glad, because all he needs right now it’s some peace.
They sit there in silence, not in total silence because Jungkook is singing, but not saying anything, just enjoying the other’s presence. Hoseok could live like this forever.
Hoseok gets into a trance and lets his mind wander, going wherever it wishes to go. And it lands on Jungkook again. And again. And again.
“Jungkook-ah,” Hoseok says without thinking. He’s not sure where his mouth is taking him. He stops and thinks, trying to make something out of this, and then gets up from the bench.
“Huh? Yes?” Jungkook says in his little endearing way, lifting his head to look at Hoseok.
“I-I… I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.”
“Oh,” he looks disappointed. His face is always easy to read. “Stay a little longer, just until the wood burns out completely.”
Hoseok can’t say no. He can never say no to Jungkook.
He sits down again.
Jungkook holds the guitar with one hand and puts the other on Hoseok’s thigh, leaves little slaps on it, and smiles at him. Hoseok smiles back because that’s the only thing he can do.
“Thanks.” Jungkook leans closer and says that. “It’s a beautiful night, we should enjoy it as much as possible, no?”
“Yes,” Hoseok gulps.
“Yeah,” he smiles again.
Hoseok feels like a rocket flying off into the sky.
“Do you wanna play? I can teach you.”
Hoseok chuckles and moves his head from side to side, saying no, “Ah, I don’t think I’ll be any good at it.”
“I’m sure you’ll be great, you’re a natural at everything, come on.”
“No, no…” Jungkook looks at him with puppy eyes and retreats. Hoseok immediately feels bad for saying no and rethinks everything just so he can see Jungkook happy again. “Okay, fine. teach me something easy.”
Jungkook’s face lights up again and Hoseok’s heart feels like the percussion section of a samba school.
Jungkook passes the guitar to Hoseok who is new to all of it and doesn’t know how to manage it properly. He is a dancer, he doesn’t see himself as a musician as much as he wants to. The guitar is light and he adjusts it on his lap and lets his hands and fingers reach the strings, putting some pressure on a random note he plays the strings and the sound comes out, it doesn’t sound too bad for Hoseok’s surprise.
Everything is fine, Hoseok thinks, just don’t embarrass yourself.
“Put your fingers like this,” Jungkook says and holds Hoseok’s hand, gentle and firm. He presses Hoseok’s digits on the right places on the right strings, something Hoseok was not doing before. “And press them as you mean it, ok? Don’t be afraid.” Jungkook states it as a necessity, so Hoseok promptly responds to it, pressing the strings more vigorously.
“Like this?” Hoseok asks, his face turned to the guitar paying full attention to it.
“Exactly. You’re doing well.” Jungkook praises and with his right-hand brushes the hair out of Hoseok’s face and puts it behind his ear. That only makes Hoseok feel like the neediest person in the world because the second Jungkook’s hand is out of his body, he already misses it.
“Okay, now keep holding like this and play.”
Hoseok touches the strings and the sound that comes out is way more harmonious than the one he had made before.
“Now this,” Jungkook adjusts Hoseok’s fingers one more time. “And this. Then this way, no, hold them a little bit lower.” Hoseok changes his hand position and doesn’t miss a second of it. Now missing a single second of Jungkook’s touch on his skin, even if it is as innocent as that.
“Ah, it’s harder than it looks, Jungkook,” Hoseok whines but keeps practicing the note.
“Now play it all together, then you’re done.”
“All of it?” Hoseok questions, he knows that he sounds confused and inexperienced. But that’s only because he is. “Ah, no, I don’t think I’m ready.”
“Try,” Jungkook says plainly. Everything is so simple for him. Hoseok wishes he could be as laid back as Jungkook.
So he tries. One note, the other, and another, and the last one. And he likes what he hears, so before Jungkook can even say the words “try again” Hoseok is already playing one more time, with a big smile on his face, and it’s so cool to just… try. He should do that more often. He should let go more easily and just… try. And try again.
“What do you think?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide and curious.
“It sounds great. You’re a natural, I told you so.”
“You are way too nice.”
“And you should learn how to take a compliment for once.” Jungkook puts his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and squeezes it and shakes him from side to side. The older man can’t help but laugh, enjoying that moment to its fullest. “You did great.”
“Thanks.”
“Any time.”
Hoseok hands Jungkook the guitar and he puts it on the grass, resting on the bench.
“It’s easier than it looks, right? And it’s great to just sit back and play... time flies by, hyung, you have no idea.” Jungkook smiles as he explains it, his nose scrunches and Hoseok wants to bite it off his face.
“It’s cool, you’re right. Maybe one day I’ll buy myself one and we can practice together.” Hoseok jokes.
“I’d love that,” Jungkook says, as serious as ever.
Hoseok looks at the fire burning in front of them and realizes that it is not the thing warming his heart, the cozy feeling he is experiencing is all thanks to the beautiful boy sitting beside him. Hoseok wants to shoot himself because he feels too soft for his own good. This feeling was hidden on his chest for so long and he was ignoring it as much as he could but sometimes the fire burns so deeply that it destroys everything it touches. Hoseok felt this way, ruined, destroyed, consumed by…
He doesn’t want to say it. If he says it’s true. He doesn’t even want to think about it.
But only one word comes to mind.
“Okay, now I have to go to bed.” Hoseok tries to run away from Jungkook in hopes that maybe this feeling will stop, or at least cease down. He gets up again but his hand is caught by Jungkook’s before he can't take a single step.
“Please. Stay.”
Hoseok looks at Jungkook, one of his best friends Jungkook. The youngest. A person he trusts more than he trusts himself, that is why he knows that it sounded good when he played the guitar, Jungkook doesn’t lie. He only says what he is thinking and things he means, he is honest. So when Hoseok hears his voice, low and sutil, Hoseok knows Jungkook means it. Jungkook wants him to stay. But for what reason? There’s not much Hoseok can offer him. His opinions are basic and he feels so stupid when he talks that nothing makes a lot of sense in his mind.
Jungkook stares back, because why wouldn’t he? He is bold and courageous, nothing like Hoseok, who is loud but not brave, not at all. Sometimes all he needs is a little quiet and solitude to sort out his thoughts, and that’s exactly what he is getting now, looking in Jungkook’s eyes, he is drowning, but he can breathe underwater.
“Okay…” Hoseok says quietly and sits down, his legs shaking. His hands shaking, his entire body reverberates from the intensity of Jungkook’s gaze. He doesn’t know what to do.
“Hyung, how many times do I have to say that I like you so much?” Jungkook says, his voice low, looking at his own feet and picking on his nails.
Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. All the words he has ever learned are gone from his head, he is a blank page waiting for something to load.
“I-I… I’m sorry for being jumpy tonight,” is all that he can say at the moment.
“That’s okay.” Jungkook has caring eyes. Reaching his hand, he holds Hoseok’s and intertwines their fingers. “Just be with me tonight.”
Hoseok has never felt this cared for before, he has a hard time believing that people could actually like him, but when Jungkook says something he does it with such great intent and certainty that it’s hard to not believe him. He had always had a soft spot for Jungkook, but now this spot is growing to be his entire heart. It’s such a shame that Jungkook could never see him as anything more than his friend, Hoseok has to get used to it, what they have is friendship, sometimes even borderline brotherly love, no one could ever see them as anything more than close friends. Not even in his wildest dreams, Hoseok could imagine anything else.
“Your hands are so cold,” Jungkook holds him tighter and gently pulls Hoseok’s hands, and takes them closer to himself. “Are you cold? Do you need my sweatshirt? I can give it to you, it’s fine.” Hoseok didn’t even realize his hands were cold, that usually happens when he is nervous. “Come closer.”
Jungkook moves closer before Hoseok can respond and starts rubbing their hands together, creating friction that turns into heat, and again, Hoseok’s heart is coming out of his chest. Everything about Jungkook is warm, even his hands, Hoseok wonders how warm he would feel in Jungkook’s arms if they would hold him closer and mend the pieces of what’s left of Hoseok and create something worth looking at again. Hoseok feels old and worn out, his hands are cold because he can’t make himself feel calm and collected next to the people he likes.
But feeling Jungkook’s hands is nice, his are big and engulfs Hoseok’s and does make him feel warmer, even if it is temporary, it’s a nice feeling. He could live next to Jungkook forever.
“Better?” With his hands still on the middle of Jungkook’s, Hoseok nods and tries to smile, confirming that he is feeling better. Jungkook gives back a big smile and plants a kiss on Hoseok’s left hand.
“Thanks…” Hoseok says with his voice low.
“Always.” Jungkook smiles with his eyes.
Their shoulders and knees are touching and Hoseok feels like he is a teenage boy all over again, the small contact makes his stomach go a bit crazy with the feeling and for his heart, he is sure if he didn’t have a heart attack in the past minutes he is completely immune to it. Looks. That’s the truth. Kisses. Hugs. Skin. Hands that touch on every corner. That’s for the imagination.
“Do you think we could have met if it weren’t through the group?” Hoseok dares to ask, looking at the stars but not at Jungkook. He feels his cheeks blushing just by saying those simple words.
“I think so. Something would have brought us together,” Jungkook says, plain and simple, not worrying about a single thing. “Do you?”
“I hope so.”
“We used to fight a lot, remember? But now not so much… Taehyung and Jimin are together, between them there’s no space for fights… and I guess maybe their influence has made us treasure each other even more.” Jungkook remembers and makes Hoseok reminisce on the first time Jimin and Taehyung said to the group they were dating. And they made it look so easy. They still do make it look so effortless.
“We can only imagine, no?” Hoseok says looking at Jungkook this time, analyzing his entire face looking for clues, anything. Any last piece of hope there’s inside of him is now being spent on this moment.
“I’m done imagining, you know? I want to live.” Jungkook says, staring at Hoseok almost like he knows something.
Hoseok scoffs, that sounded so intense for someone like them to say. They have lived enough, haven't they? Went to a lot of places, learned about other cultures, and tried everything. What else was there to do? “You sound so intense, Jungkook-ah.”
“But I mean it. It’s the truth.” Jungkook doesn’t back down.
“I don’t get it, I think we lived enough, what is there for us to do?”
“A few things, at least,” Jungkook’s eyes draw Hoseok deeper and deeper, he can’t stop looking at the galaxy that he holds in them.
“Enlighten me, please,” Hoseok jokes, almost mocking Jungkook.
That’s all it takes Jungkook to do exactly as Hoseok says.
Pressing their lips together, Jungkook lights up every corner of Hoseok’s body, making sure no space is left behind. Hoseok is taken by surprise and at the beginning of the kiss he can’t even remember to open his mouth and close his eyes, so he just sits there, wide-eyed and confused. It feels good. But it’s unexpected.
“Things like this,” Jungkook says as he leans back and analyzes Hoseok’s entire face, and he can only read the confusion on it, nothing else.
Jungkook chuckles and sits back in his place and looks at the ground. Hoseok looks at Jungkook.
He can’t believe what just happened. Hoseok feels like he is detached from his body and the last seconds are almost like a very weird fever-induced hallucination. Feeling the phantom pressure of Jungkook’s lips on his, he takes his hand to them and touches them lightly. It’s not the same. It’s not close to being enough. Now that he has touched the doors of heaven he wants more. He wants to get in.
“Jungkook,” Hoseok murmurs.
“Yes, Hoseok?” No honorifics, just… them.
Hoseok waits for the courage to come. He builds it up because he can’t find the words to say what he wants. Nothing seems quite right, everything sounds too simple in his mind.
“Kiss me again.”
Jungkook stops staring at the ground and looks at Hoseok, “No.” He stops. Hoseok goes insane for a few fractions of a second. “You kiss me.”
They stare at each other again, trying to give the first step, and it’s all on Hoseok’s end to come closer and end the space between them. For the first time, Hoseok lets himself pay attention to Jungkook’s lips, they are thin and pink, so beautiful, so nice, and now Hoseok knows that they are soft. And they are waiting for him. Just him. No one else. So it hits him.
He is desired.
By Jungkook.
Jungkook wants him.
And that’s the weirdest thing that has ever happened to him.
Thinking about that, Hoseok closes the space between them and kisses Jungkook back. This time, as he means it. Their lips colliding in a beautiful dance and falling into each other as they have done it before. Kissing with their whole souls, as they mean it. Full of intent and passion and tenderness. Jungkook holds him in place with a soft hand on his face and another on Hoseok’s waist, Hoseok doesn’t dare to touch anywhere else but Jungkook’s pretty face. Their lips part to each other and when their tongues touch Hoseok can’t help but softly moan into the kiss, he knows how desperate that sounds but doesn’t care because he is kissing Jungkook. And nothing else matters.
Hoseok loses track of time and lets himself melt into the kiss and they kiss and kiss and kiss just enjoying the other’s touch. It’s like coming home. It’s like the beginning of everything once again. The stars are colliding creating an explosion and nothing is ever going to be the same.
They stop kissing after a while and Hoseok feels dizzy. His lips are numb and there’s a slight shake to them.
“You… you,” Jungkook says and plants a soft kiss on Hoseok’s chin.
“Me what?” Hoseok chuckles. He is also having trouble forming coherent sentences.
“You, hyung. Just you,” Jungkook grabs Hoseok’s hand and caresses it with light strokes.
Hoseok can’t stop thinking that he is one of Earth’s favorites, because only a few people were lucky enough to kiss Jungkook. He wants to do it again.
“Okay…” Hoseok says and leans forward and kisses Jungkook's neck right above the place where his sweatshirt starts. He wants more and more because Jungkook is addictive.
“Come here,” Jungkook says and grabs Hoseok by the waist and pulls him closer again to a deeper kiss. They are both with their legs one on each side of the bench so they can come closer to each other and kiss as it is the only thing in the world for them to do. Jungkook puts one hand under Hoseok’s shorts and caresses his tight in the softest way possible, and Hoseok is sent to a gleeful bliss, he rests both of his arms on Jungkook’s shoulders, completely devoted to him, and strokes his hair with his left hand and he loves the way the strands of hair feel between his fingers.
Kissing is easier than talking, so they only stop to gasp for air and keep on kissing, it’s all so new but it feels so right. Inhaling the other’s exhale and feeling his tender lips, Hoseok doesn’t want anything else.
“This bench is shit,” Jungkook says when they stop for a few seconds.
“It is,” Hoseok kisses Jungkook again.
“The fire died.” But not inside of Hoseok, his insides are burning with passion.
With his arms still around Jungkook’s neck, Hoseok looks to the side and the wood has burned out and they are in complete darkness, the only light coming from the living room of the main house far away.
He doesn’t want to get inside and sleep alone in his single bed, he wants to stay there with Jungkook until the sun shows up again and also after that. His heart shrinks just thinking about going in another direction different from Jungkook’s.
“Come to the floating house with me,” Jungkook brushes Hoseok’s hair out of his face. “Please.”
Hoseok can’t believe his eyes and ears. For a few seconds, he thinks that he has gone insane and has suddenly developed a great imagination able to make visuals so clear that you can feel them. Of course, he wants to be with Jungkook, but he doesn’t think he is ready.
“I… Do you think that’s allowed?”
“As long as you start the day on your bed I think it’s okay,” Jungkook states.
Hoseok pauses and considers the offer, pondering in his head a quick list of pros and cons of everything, but he stops at the most important thing: he wants to spend the night with Jungkook.
“Okay. I don’t think they will mind.”
“Let’s go, then,” Jungkook gets up and grabs the guitar from the ground, and with his free hand, he extends it to Hoseok and helps him get up. But he doesn’t let go of his hand.
The contrast is so astounding. Jungkook’s hand is so warm, big, and calloused from the weights, and Hoseok’s is small and cold, delicate even, he knows he can’t even compare to Jungkook physically, but the size of his hands almost represents the size of his soul, small. Almost insignificant. He wished he could have the same larger-than-life personality as Jungkook.
They walk hand in hand to the floating house in silence, Jungkook guiding the way through the darkness and Hoseok trusts him completely and just lets himself be guided as his heart beats faster and faster with each step he takes. The wind blowing makes the smell of Jungkook’s perfume hit Hoseok’s nostrils and he smells clean: soap and conditioner and a hint of shaving cream. It’s so different from the usual smell of flowers and peaches he is used to smelling on the girls he hooks up with but it’s nice. Jungkook is the first guy in a long while and Hoseok feels brand new to everything.
As they get to the short bridge of the house, Jungkook lets Hoseok go first and he doesn’t take his hands off of him for a second, guiding Hoseok with a firm hand on the small of his hip.
The house is in complete darkness and Jungkook tells Hoseok to keep walking to the end of the hallway, as they get there, Jungkooks moves to the front of Hoseok and opens the door, and turns on one of the lights making the room dimly lit and lets Hoseok get in first.
The bed is unmade and all of Jungkook’s stuff is scattered around the room, as he was looking for something but forgot to put the things away after. Jungkook puts the guitar standing by the door and goes to sit on the edge of the bed and extends his hand, inviting Hoseok in.
Hoseok takes a few steps, climbs in the bed by his side, and tries to look as natural as possible.
The silence makes Hoseok feel uneasy, he doesn’t know where to look and what to do with his hands. He wants to put them on Jungkook but maybe it wouldn’t be right, but he does it anyway, they’ve kissed, so they can touch, right? It is allowed, no?
But Jungkook is the first to reach in and puts a hand on the back of Hoseok’s neck and delicately caresses it and Hoseok melts to the touch and smiles. Jungkook reaches out almost like someone would say: see? That’s how you do it. It’s easy, give it a try. For the second time in the night, he shows Hoseok a new direction of trying new things and being bold. Hoseok loves the feeling it makes on his stomach even if he is nervous to give the first step.
Hoseok puts his hand on Jungkook’s knee and starts drawing mindless figures on it, then spelling words that only he can understand. J. K. He goes in for another one. L. And when he starts to make the curve for the next letter, he is cut short.
“What are you doing?” Jungkook chuckles under his breath and even without looking at him, Hoseok knows he is smiling.
“Nothing,” Hoseok smiles back.
"It's ticklish,” Jungkook explains.
“Sorry.”
“It’s alright,” he reassures and Hoseok feels a bit better.
Hoseok can’t tell if the smell of cleanliness comes from the proximity of Jungkook or if the room has acquired his smell. It’s cozy anyways.
“Do you want to go to sleep?” Jungkook asks.
No. Hoseok thinks. I want to kiss you until my lips fall off my face. That is what he wants to say.
“Sure,” is what he says.
Jungkook places a kiss close to Hoseok’s earlobe and as if it is nothing, moves to take his shoes off, Hoseok mimics him and takes his flip-flops off too. Jungkook gets under the covers and settles himself on the bed by the wall, leaving space for Hoseok to lay down.
Hoseok feels his hands cold but moves anyway to get under the duvet.
Under the covers he feels better, the warm blanket on top of him soothes his nerves and for a while, he forgets what is happening. It’s too much information. He can see only the silhouette of Jungkook’s face in the ill-lit room, but he is smiling as if the room is light.
Hoseok has no idea that his smile shines as brightly as a thousand stars.
“Are you okay?” Jungkook whispers.
“I am,” Hoseok whispers back. “And you?”
“I’m great,” Jungkook says and comes closer to lay his head on the same pillow as Hoseok, their legs are touching and they are breathing into each other's air. “Your skin is soft.”
“You have hairy legs,” Hoseok hopes that maybe he can lighten up the mood a little.
“Does that bother you?”
Hoseok shakes his head. Jungkook has never done a single thing that made Hoseok feel anything less than great. He leans forward only a few inches and his lips are touching Jungkook’s, they exchange chaste, smiley kisses and Jungkook has one hand on Hoseok’s waist and he is rubbing it slowly as they kiss. It’s all so tender.
Hoseok wants more.
The fire in his stomach starts to burn deeper as Jungkook holds him closer, making their entire bodies clash and fuse into one. Hoseok soon learns that Jungkook is extremely attentive because he seems to do everything that crosses Hoseok’s mind. He nibbles on Hoseok’s ear, and leaves a trail of kisses on his neck, he pays attention to a specific spot right above his collarbone that makes Hoseok moan. Hoseok can’t even open his eyes because he thinks that if he does open them everything will stop and he will wake up from this idyllic bliss.
Hoseok is never this pliant, this malleable to anyone, but he mellows under Jungkook’s touch and he can’t help but just make himself completely devoted to the man kissing his neck.
Hoseok tries to change this up by holding onto Jungkook’s hip and pushing his sweatshirt to the side and touching his skin, it’s been so long since he has made out with anyone that he has lost the ability to do it. The past year was so busy that the last thing on Hoseok’s mind was hooking up with someone, right now he can’t even remember the last time he had an orgasm.
They keep on kissing and Hoseok moves his hand under Jungkook’s sweatshirt and lets his hand travel to Jungkook’s nipples, he circles it and pinches one of them with his fingers and that makes Jungkook stop kissing him and moan into Hoseok’s lips. That’s exactly what Hoseok wanted, a reaction from Jungkook. Anything that assures him that he is having as much fun as Hoseok is.
“I want to make you feel good, Jungkook,” Hoseok parts the kiss but doesn’t open his eyes. “Tell me what you want, I’ll do anything.”
“You’re doing great, hyung,” Jungkook reassures, his voice low and gravel from all the kissing. “So great.” A kiss on Hoseok’s neck.
Hoseok loves being complimented but it’s not enough, he wants to make Jungkook feel everything just like he is feeling. He kisses Jungkook with intent and traces a path in his abdomen straight to the waistband of Jungkook’s shorts and stops there. He can feel a trail of hairs forming under his hand and it’s one of the best feelings in the world, Hoseok has discovered a new kink.
He wants more. He wants all of it.
“Let me suck you off,” Hoseok says with his lips touching Jungkook’s. “Let me make you feel good.”
Jungkook nods eagerly and Hoseok sits on his legs and waits for Jungkook to sit back on the bed with a pillow under his back to make himself comfortable. Hoseok can feel his arousal starting to show up on his underwear but he doesn’t mind. All of his focus should be on Jungkook.
Hoseok tries to remember the last time he was so ready to go down on someone, it’s been only half an hour since they started this thing that’s going on, but Hoseok realizes now that the feeling has been going on for days, months even. He can’t remember what it was like to not want Jungkook. To not want to touch him and kiss and run his fingers through his hair. It’s so intense and Hoseok wants to have it all forever, he never saw himself as needy but that was because he had never kissed Jungkook before.
And now he was going to give him something back.
As Jungkook adjusts himself, Hoseok can’t help but stare at his face, the tiny moles on his nose and under his lips, the way Jungkook’s lips fold and almost pouts every time he opens his mouth to moan lightly. Hoseok is a goner.
“‘Kay,” Hoseok leans forward and kisses Jungkook’s lips with passion, and squeezes one of Jungkook’s thighs. “I can’t wait to have you in my mouth.”
“Then go for it,” Jungkook mouths back into Hoseok’s lips.
“Patience is a virtue, Kookie.” Hoseok looks into Jungkook’s eyes and watches him roll them so far back into his head and smile with the corner of his lip. He is going to kill him.
Hoseok starts kissing Jungkook’s neck and makes sure that it is taken care of, he slowly licks his collarbone and kisses it too, just to make sure he is building up tension until the main event. Also, he wants to make it last as long as possible, wants to make this moment last forever because he doesn’t know if he is ever going to have this again.
He moves down in the direction of Jungkook’s crotch and rubs his left hand on Jungkook’s erection over the shorts, the same shorts that were driving him insane all day because Jungkook would parade in the house in them with his hair wet and face bare. Hoseok thought about being suffocated by Jungkook’s legs more times than he should have had in the past hours. Jungkook runs his fingers through Hoseok’s hair and whispers something but Hoseok can’t understand because it’s just gibberish, it was the most primal part of him speaking, not the actual Jungkook.
“You are killing me,” Jungkook says with his voice low.
“Don’t rush me,” Hoseok commands, and Jungkook shuts his lips closed.
“Never. Take your time, sweetheart.”
Hoseok grabs Jungkook’s shorts by the waistband and Jungkook lifts himself for Hoseok to lower them, and without waiting, puts his underwear down too and frees his erection. Hoseok feels his mouth water, Jungkook’s dick was hard and leaking from the shaft already, it’s the most beautiful thing Hoseok has ever seen. He strokes it up and down with his right hand and watches it grow even more with the stimulation, Hoseok wonders if he can take it all.
Hoseok lowers his head and feels Jungkook’s dick in his mouth, still holding it on the base. He moves his lips and around the head and almost travels to another universe because hearing Jungkook moan is enough for him to go insane and feel like going to a different dimension. He strokes and licks the side of Jungkook’s erection and it feels so, so good. It feels exactly right.
It fills up his mouth and Hoseok relaxes at the moment, he finds that he does it best when he doesn’t think much about it, just lets his instincts guide him and guide Jungkook to an orgasm. But he loves the feeling so much, the warm skin on his tongue and how it makes him feel so needed, so cared for, he loves giving attention as much as he likes receiving it. Jungkook has both of his hands on Hoseok’s hair and he runs his fingers through it lightly, with just enough pressure to keep Hoseok down and doing what he committed himself to do.
Hoseok tries to go deeper and keeps moving his hand on the base of Jungkook’s cock because he is needy and wants more, the feeling is amazing but nothing compares to hearing Jungkook’s heavy breath on top of him. The smell of Jungkook skin is inebriating and it makes Hoseok get dizzy but it’s all so good that he never wants to stop.
Hoseok works through it, with a lot of spit and hands and lips parted, Hoseok likes the feeling of it all and loves the way it makes Jungkook feel. He likes to give pleasure as much as he likes receiving it and it’s driving him insane to do that. His mind racing and his heart beating in his chest. Jungkook tastes so good.
“Hyung, I…” Jungkook says out of the blue, his voice soft as he cries out the honorific. Hoseok never knew that he liked being called like that so much. (He is used to hearing oppa, oppa in high pitched voices and he doesn’t have enough experiences with men enough to fill out a hand, so it’s all so new and exciting.) It’s the hottest thing he could ever hear. “I-I… I’m sorry, I think I’m close.” Jungkook says and Hoseok lifts his head for a second to look at him but Jungkook has his eyes closed and his head was thrown back. “Don’t stop.”
Hoseok goes back to his job and sucks more and more, enjoying every second he has left. Jungkook’s cock is big and full, and it hits so nice on Hoseok’s tongue that nothing else matters. Jungkook starts to thrust gently into Hoseok’s mouth, fucking it, Hoseok moves faster with both his hand and lips to help alleviate Jungkook’s frustration.
“Hobi, I’m close,” Jungkook says but Hoseok already knows that because his thrusts feel more erratic and loose as he is giving up and losing strength, but Hoseok doesn’t move or stop. He keeps on sucking. “Hobi-hyung, Hoseok. I’m close, baby.”
Hoseok moans on Jungkook’s cock as he hears the pet name. But not even that stops him, He keeps on going and picks up the pace and it soon comes.
The warm feeling in his throat fills him up and Hoseok swallows it all before he can even think again. Jungkook moans through it and it’s music to Hoseok’s ears. Once it’s all gone, he straightens himself back up and tries to come back to Earth as the world has just exploded around him. Hoseok for a second thinks he is floating and he hasn’t even cum yet.
Jungkook has his head rested back on the wall but he is looking at Hoseok, he has a smile on his face and he looks so relaxed, it envies Hoseok. Jungkook pulls Hoseok’s through his white shirt, pulling him closer to his body. The kiss Jungkook gives Hoseok is an open mouth one, soft, slow, and languid, just the way Hoseok likes, savoring each corner of each other's lips. Hoseok feels Jungkook’s lips forming into a smile and he can’t help but smile as well. He was happy, floating, over the moon. But he was way too horny too.
They kiss for what feels like an eternity but it was probably no more than a minute. Hoseok wonders what the hell he is doing but he can’t stop.
“This is weird,” he says and kisses one of his best friends again.
“I know,” Jungkook whispers. A silence comes and they keep kissing. “Good weird, tho?”
It’s so new and unexpected, Hoseok had no idea that Jungkook could even possibly like him back. Well, he doesn’t know if Jungkook does like him back, or just likes making out with him. He tries not to worry about it before he has to.
“Yes. Good weird,” Hoseok answers and runs his fingers through Jungkook’s hair. And then kisses his cheek in a chaste manner that doesn’t suit the mood but Jungkook is pouting and Hoseok can’t bear to see that. “Never stop.”
“Yes, hyung,” Jungkook says and it sends shivers down Hoseok’s spine. “Whatever you want you’re getting, just say so.” Their faces are touching but they are not kissing, just breathing in each other’s space, Hoseok’s mind feels foggy and his world resumes itself on Jungkook and it keeps on getting smaller and smaller, completely centered around the man next to him.
There’s only one thing in his mind and Hoseok wants to be handled like a rag doll by Jungkook’s hands. He needs to get off as soon as possible or he will explode. Hoseok climbs on his lap and starts grinding their crotches together, creating friction and Hoseok feels Jungkook’s cock getting harder again, only a few minutes after coming in Hoseok’s mouth.
Hoseok is addicted to Jungkook. He appreciates the attention he is getting so much and wants to live on this moment forever, he wants to devote himself to Jungkook. He wants to be praised.
“Tell me you like this. Even if it’s weird, I-I know it’s weird,” Hoseok breathes out in Jungkook’s lips, their foreheads touching and he has his hands around Jungkook’s neck, resting on his broad shoulders. “But it’s good, isn’t it? Right?”
Hoseok is fully aware of how desperate he sounds, but he just wants to make sure.
“You have no idea how good you are making me feel, hyung.” Jungkook moves his head to kiss Hoseok’s neck with a wet kiss. “‘S great, hyung. You’re so beautiful. So pretty. So sexy. It’s amazing. Don’t stop.” He says the last part holding Hoseok by the hips and helps him grind with more energy if that’s even possible. Hoseok has the hips of a dancer, he knows how to move and desperately wants to show Jungkook how much he wants him.
“Tell me what you want, you’ve been so good to me,” Jungkook rests his head on the crook of Hoseok’s neck and keeps his hand on the dancer’s hips. “I’ll do anything.”
Hoseok feels his insides boil, the pressure on his dick makes him want to scream the most absurd profanities he knows, he wants to be nice to Jungkook, but hearing him say those words with that much intent makes his mind go a bit crazy. He doesn’t even know what he wants for sure.
One thing comes to mind, though.
He breathes in and kisses Jungkook, his lips already feeling swollen, he bites Jungkook’s bottom lip, wanting to make him feel as wrecked as he is.
“Kook-ah,” Hoseok whispers, even if there’s no one else around. “I want you to fuck me.”
Jungkook smiles with the corner of his lip, and nods. “Let me take care of you.”
They kiss sloppily for a few seconds, spit everywhere, and a lot of bites and muffled moans. It's so easy now, a long way from their first kiss. It’s just right.
“Wait here, I’ll find a condom.”
Jungkook takes Hoseok off his lap and puts him down on the bed, handling him with so much ease that makes Hoseok’s cock twitch he is sure he is already leaking, his erection couldn’t get any harder, but being edged like that is intoxicating and addictive.
“Were you planning this?” Hoseok laughs, trying to make the mood lighter only for a few seconds to distract himself. “Seems awfully prepared.”
“I’m a hopeful person,” Jungkook says and chuckles, Hoseok can only see shadows of his face in the poorly lit room. “I’m joking, though. I always have one with me. I just have to find it.”
Jungkook takes a lot of clothes from his backpack and fumbles with it for a few seconds that feel like an eternity. After a while, he finds it on the bottom of his backpack, a single condom and a small package of lube, like it was meant for them to have sex that night.
“Here,” Jungkook says and comes back into bed leaving the condom and lube on the side, for later.
The mood is light but Hoseok feels nervous nonetheless, his hands turning cold from the jitters and excitement. As Jungkook climbs into bed, he sits on Hoseok’s lap as Hoseok had done before and they kiss once more, it’s completely enthralling, their mouths always finding each other over and over again.
Jungkook shifts in Hoseok’s laps and moans loudly, and takes a hand to Hoseok’s crotch and presses his cock with a strong hand, his big hand almost engulfs it to its entirety. It’s fucking maddening.
“Hurry up,” Hoseok says, desperate. “I’m not gonna last long.”
“Me neither,” Jungkook says and tranquilizes Hoseok.
Off with their sweatshirts, Jungkook trails down a few kisses on Hoseok’s chest and stops by his nipple, making sure to lick it and pinch the other one just so he can tease a little more as if Hoseok is not already going insane below him. Hoseok has his hands on Jungkook’s waist and his skin is so warm and soft, and Jungkook makes him feel so good that he can’t even try to put it into words.
“Lay down, please.” Jungkook gets off of Hoseok and waits by his side, and grabs the lube on the side of the bed. When Hoseok lays down he immediately goes in for a kiss, “So obedient. Just for me. Are you this nice to anyone else?”
Hoseok doesn’t remember ever being so eager to please and responsive to someone’s requests. “Just for you,” he says without thinking.
Leaving more kisses down Hoseok’s torso, Jungkook trails down to his hip and starts to suck so hard on the skin that Hoseok is sure he is going to leave a mark.
Mark me up, please. You know that I’m only yours. Hoseok thinks, his mind running a thousand miles per hour just thinking about being bruised.
Jungkook takes Hoseok’s pants off with his underwear and throws it somewhere on the edge of the bed and Hoseok’s erection almost hits his stomach, and it’s leaking all over itself. Hoseok wants something so desperately and he can’t wait any longer.
“Jungkook, please,” Hoseok cries out, for a moment he doesn’t recognize the voice that leaves his mouth, he sounds so needy and desperate, and his pleas seem to have little to no effect on Jungkook.
“‘Kay, Hobi.” The nickname sounds so dirty on his lips. Jungkook leans forward to Hoseok’s cock and sets a kiss on the side of it, then on the shaft, smudging his lips with precum. Then he goes in to kiss Hoseok on the lips. It’s so dirty that it drives Hoseok crazy, the thought about tasting himself on Jungkook’s lips. Jungkook spreads Hoseok’s legs to his chest and grabs the pack of lube, Hoseok stares at the ceiling preparing himself mentally for what’s about to come, he hears the package tearing and then watches Jungkook smear the content on his fingers. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I am,” Hoseok gulps. “Just touch me, already.”
Attending Hoseok's request, Jungkook opens Hoseok up with his hands and starts fingering him. Hoseok had never felt anything quite like that, it was overwhelming in the weirdest way possible, thinking about someone with literal fingers up his ass. The silence is deafening and Hoseok wonders if he should be doing something else other than lying down waiting for Jungkook.
Jungkook slowly adds a second finger once Hoseok is looser. The silence is killing him. It’s not that it’s bad… it’s just… different. Hoseok wonders if he should be feeling something else.
“Just relax, baby.” Jungkook reads his thoughts and the sound of this beautiful word coming out of his lips makes Hoseok’s toes curl and he (somehow) gets harder. “Is it good?”
“It’s… It’s different,” Hoseok is honest. “It’s weird,” he repeats the same words from before.
Try, Hoseok’s mind remembers the word Jungkook had said before.
With two fingers in Hoseok, Jungkook works as best as he can to make him feel good, Hoseok knows that but it’s weird, nothing is happening and it feels so different from everything he has ever experienced, and it—
Fuck.
“Oh, fuck, Jungkook, do that again.” Hoseok cries out. So that’s what people always talk about when they talk about anal fingering. Shit. It was so intense and fast but Hoseok is already dying to feel it again. “Holy fuck, that’s my—”
“Yeah, I know what it is,” Jungkook smiles and the air gets light again. He obeys and repeats the same movement with his long fingers, making Hoseok experience again the closest he has gone to being satisfied all night. His cock twitches from where it is pressed up in his stomach and now it’s definitely leaking, making a whole mess. Hoseok twitches himself in the bed because of the pleasure and arches his back off the mattress. “Good?”
“Y-yeah. Yes, yes.” Hoseok closes his eyes and his head back, only feeling the pressure Jungkook’s fingers make inside of him. Hoseok moans loudly now, amid curses and whimpers.
Once he is adjusting to the feeling and getting used to it, once that he is carving his nails on Jungkook’s shoulders and finally experiencing what people have always told him that fingering was all about, Jungkook takes his fingers off of inside Hoseok. He finds Hoseok’s lips and ignores the whines of complaint Hoseok makes when he pulls away to the side to grab the condom.
Hoseok can’t believe his eyes.
It’s happening.
Jungkook is going to fuck him.
While Hoseok lies there naked, hard, exposed, and open, Jungkook takes his clothes off and Hoseok watches him. It’s not the first time he has seen Jungkook’s body, but it is the first time he can look at it without shame and without the need to look away as soon as possible. Jungkook is toned all over, has strong arms and Hoseok sees the trail of hair leading down to his cock that he had felt before. Once Jungkook is completely naked, he grabs the condom and rolls it on his cock to the base. Hoseok leans back on his arms and watches him, they look at each other for a few seconds in understanding.
They are going to do this.
Hoseok starts talking without even knowing where he is going, “Next time,” he says, “I’ll be the one fucking you.” He licks his lips in anticipation just thinking about it.
“Is it?” Jungkook responds with a cocky smile and lifts Hoseok’s hips off the bed just a little to adjust their positions. “I’ll hold on to that.”
“Yeah, I can’t wait to be able to…” Hoseok can’t finish his sentence because now Jungkook is fully inside of him. Their bodies are closer than they have ever been. Hoseok loses the trail of thought because his world gets smaller again, with no space for thinking about the future or anything else, just Jungkook. His heart is beating in his ears and he learns that the sensation of burning is one of the best feelings in the world. Hoseok feels so tight, even after Jungkook’s hard work of stretching him open, he feels so full, so taken care of. Jungkook bottoms out for the first time and leaves Hoseok feeling lonely, he moans and cries out for Jungkook to come back. “Kookie…”
Jungkook lets out a sound between a moan and a groan and gets into Hoseok again, now, easier, smoother. He leans forward and leaves a kiss on Hoseok’s forehead, while he grabs his dick with his right hand, stroking it up and down a few times.
“Does it hurt?” Jungkook asks, looking into Hoseok’s eyes.
“It feels good,” Hoseok nods enthusiastically. “Move, please.”
Jungkook does what Hoseok asks him to and moves in and out of him and Hoseok wraps his legs around Jungkook’s waist, pulling him closer and restraining him to go anywhere else. Jungkook moves but does it so slowly, making sure Hoseok adjusts himself around Jungkook’s cock. With every thrust, something inside of Hoseok opens up and it feels like the world is ending and beginning at the same time something burns him whole and it completely changes his point of view of everything he thought he knew. Jungkook mons into a kiss, his voice wrecked and irresistible.
Hoseok caresses Jungkook’s hair out of his face to see him more clearly. He was the most beautiful person in the world.
They soon fall into a rhythm. Hoseok understands how things work and Jungkook notices that and he moves with more fervor and drive, Hoseok decides to let his instincts guide him and enjoy the moment because he knows he will miss it. He puts his hands all over Jungkook’s back and chest, then rests them on the back of his neck, pulling the hairs of his nape slightly. As Jungkook holds him in place with one hand and supports himself with the other, he thrusts into Hoseok’s walls and Hoseok tightens himself on purpose to get a reaction from Jungkook.
“Fuck, do that again.” Hoseok uses muscles he never thought he could use. “You are insane, fuck,” Jungkook curses out and moans, and Hoseok moans too as he hears that alluring sound.
Jungkook’s broad shoulders are covered with a bit of sweat and Hoseok leans forward and kisses his left one, tasting sour in his lips, but it feels so good and dirty that he could lick his entire body and would do it gladly.
With that, Jungkook starts thrusting deeper but more erratic, with less rhythm, Hoseok tightens his legs around Jungkook’s torso and pulls him deeper and closer. Jungkook grips Hoseok’s hips and puts one hand on his dick and starts giving him a handjob in the middle of fucking. It doubles the pleasure and it makes Hoseok see stars.
“Keep going, I’m… I’m so close, Jungkook.” Hoseok appeals once more, needfully.
“Me too, hyung.” Jungkook whispers.
He keeps on moving in and out of Hoseok and goes in deeper than it has even gone, hitting Hoseok’s prostate, and Hoseok moans out loud, a full moan, thankfully there’s no one around them. At some point, Hoseok gives in and lets his arms flop to the sides and just enjoys wh the most beautiful moment in his life, Jungkook’s forehead is glimmering with sweat and Hoseok is sure so is his, the room smells like sex and bodies, colognes mixing and sweat. Hoseok in his stomach just thinking about the mess they are making. If he was closer to the wall his head would be hitting it the moment Jungkook applies pressure to his body, he is curved at an impossible angle, thanks to years of dancing, and he feels Jungkook’s dick buried inside of him.
Jungkook keeps his hand on Hoseok’s dick and squeezes the head, and the orgasm hits him by surprise. He cums all over Jungkook’s hand.
It's life-changing.
Nothing was ever going to be the same.
“‘m close, Hobi.” Jungkook pants out, his grip on Hoseok’s hip is harder and his rhythm falters by the second. Hoseok clenches his walls again and pulls Jungkook in for a kiss, and soon the movement stops, and Jungkook throws his head back with his eyes closed.
Unlike how quiet Jungkook is during sex, he is very loud when he orgasms. Just like the first time, Jungkook moans through it and it drives Hoseok crazy, his muscles are tight and his face is tense, and Hoseok loves watching every second of it. Jungkook is still inside of him and he can feel him softening.
“Don’t pull out. Not yet.” Hoseok says and holds Jungkook close to an embrace, chest to chest and buried in each other's necks. Their breaths are still uneven and short.
Hoseok kisses Jungkook’s lips and they stay like this, just kissing, lazy and tired, their bodies giving in to each other and their minds clear and calm. It’s been months since Hoseok’s mind has been this empty and tranquil. He feels warm.
They stay like that for a few seconds until Jungkook is almost completely soft and he bottoms out, leaving Hoseok empty.
He takes the condom off and puts it in the tiny bin that’s sitting under the table where he puts his toiletries. Hoseok feels gross with cum everywhere on his stomach and Jungkook’s hand is also covered in it, it’s the grossest thing if he thinks about it but it also turns him on knowing that he has left a mark on Jungkook. There’s no going back and he doesn’t regret it, not even a little bit.
Things may be awkward for a few days but at least they’ve done it, it’s off their systems. Hoseok has learned a lot in the past hours and now his whole world has changed and even a bigger part of his heart is dedicated to Jungkook.
“I’m gonna go wash my hands. I’ll be back,” Jungkook says and goes to Hoseok’s side and kisses him on the top of his head. Jungkook puts his shorts on and leaves the room. Hoseok sits there, naked, exposed, unsure of what to do. He feels thirsty too, his mouth weirdly dry. He wants to take a long shower and relax. He wants to cuddle with Jungkook all night long and only go back to his bed when the sun starts to rise again.
Hoseok loves nights like this.
Nights where he feels calm and at peace. Nights where the unexpected happens. Nights that he will remember forever. He will always treasure Jungkook as the person who helped him try out something new that turned out to be one of the best things in the world. If Jungkook hadn’t said before for Hoseok to try, he would never have done anything, that word wouldn’t be ringing on the back of his head.
Try, he had said. As if he was planning to shift Hoseok’s entire world upside down.
Jungkook comes back with a towel and cleans Hoseok’s stomach, but he still wants to take a long shower, especially if Jungkook is helping him reach that part of his back he can’t properly touch. Hoseok finds his boxers in the middle of the covers and puts them on and sits by Jungkook’s side on the bed as they had done before but now it feels easier, less anxious.
“Thanks,” Hoseok says but he feels dumb.
“Thank you,” Jungkook replies and pushes Hoseok’s hair to the back of his ear. “And I swear I wasn’t planning it, it just happened,” Jungkook chuckles and tries to explain himself.
Hoseok believes him. There was no way either of them could have predicted it.
“I know,” Hoseok nods with his eyelids closed, he feels sleepy and tired. Good tired. Completely satisfied the same way he feels after nailing a dance workout after trying for so long. “You’re so pretty.”
“I like when you call me pretty instead of handsome,” Jungkook says, crooking his head to the side, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. “Do it again, please.”
Hoseok moves closer and kisses the corner of Jungkook’s lips, then his cheek. “Pretty,” Hoseok whispers. A kiss on the other side of his face and then on his chin, “so pretty. Pretty and mine,” he says the last part without thinking. His mouth is working faster than his brain, his heart is pounding in his chest. What if he doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t like me?
But the crash comes when Jungkoook replies, “yours.” He puts his hands on Hoseok’s face, “All yours.”
The burden is off his chest now. He has said it and it leaves him calm to hear it back.
“Good,” Hoseok says. He feels completed. “You know what I want to do right now?”
“Please don’t tell me you want another round. I’m worn out.”
“No,” Hoseok laughs, light-hearted and content. “I really want to take a shower.”
“Oh, good.” Jungkook breathes out. But he wraps his arms around Hoseok’s waist. “Let me just stay with you for a few minutes more.”
Hoseok nods and lovingly caresses Jungkook’s hair, taking care of him, he looks just as tired as Hoseok feels. There’s a need on his chest that tells him that Jungkook is also experiencing a lot of emotions. Hoseok can even begin to put a finger on them and explain it to someone but he will not worry about their situation now. He just wants to enjoy Jungkook’s company as long as possible.
“Okay, you can go,” Jungkook says and gets out of the embrace. “I’ll try not to miss you.”
Hoseok smiles and shakes his head, he doesn’t want to miss a second of their very limited time.
“Come,” he says, smiling as someone does when they have an idea. “Let me wash your hair.” He ruffles Jungkook's hair making it a bigger mess than it already is. “I’ll miss you too much if I’ll have to shower alone.”
Jungkook is smiling as well. Hoseok can see the stars in his eyes and he loves them so much, loves that he can experience them in real life and not in his imagination.
“Just shower, though. No funny business.” Jungkook says, almost like he is the one with things in mind.
“I promise,” Hoseok kisses him. “Even if you sound so fucking lame saying things like that. ‘No funny business. You can say it, Kookie. You fucked me.”
Jungkook laughs out loud, the way he does when he finds something so exciting that the happiness extends through his whole body. Hoseok knows him enough to know that and he loves that he is the one making him feel like that. Jungkook is the most marvelous person Hoseok knows.
“Let’s go, Hobi,” Jungkook says and gets up, Hoseok watches him and stays in his place. Jungkook extends his hand to help Hoseok get out of bed.
Hoseok looks at Jungkook’s hand and sees a door to something. He sees his future standing in front of him asking him to give a try to things he has always wanted to do. Hoseok feels brand new.
I hope he likes me.
Hope.
Hoseok is filled with it.