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There was something about Eula Lawrence that attracted attention no matter where she went. Maybe it was due to her outstanding work within the Knights of Favonius, or her undeniable beauty. You weren’t sure, all you knew was you were as taken with her as just about everyone else.
Except, they. . . didn’t exactly share the same thoughts about her as you did.
People were wary of her. You could tell from the way they whispered behind her back as she passed and how they refused to meet her gaze as if looking her in the eyes would curse their very being. They sneered in her direction, spewing words you would never dare to repeat and you’ve even seen vendors refuse her service. To the people of Mondstadt, she was never seen as a good person.
It was quite obvious what the reason for their behavior was. Being a native to Mondstadt yourself, you were privy to that knowledge, yet you didn’t really understand why those around you continued to be blinded by the past. Most were afraid the aristocracy would once again rise in power, yet you never saw that as justification for the terrible way they treated her. The Lawrence name had done well enough to paint her in the worst light from the day she was born. But to you, Eula resembled nothing of the old Lawrence clan or even her brazen uncle. She was different, you were sure of it.
You only wished everyone else could see her the way you did.
Amber was the one who first introduced her to you. While she was reserved and distant in the beginning, your persistence in sticking by her side through the years slowly opened her up to you. After sharing countless conversations with Eula, you could see how her words could be mistaken for mild threats and paired along with her cold tone; you could understand how she became a person to be feared. Still, you never thought of her any differently. There was hidden meaning in everything she said and while most people would have taken her words of having ‘vengeance’ at face value, you instead found it amusing. Your constant giggling caused you to become one of the many people who crossed her, yet she never asked you to stop nor did she seem as if she were seriously irritated. Instead, she brought you gifts and took you on outings as an odd way to prepare you for her coming revenge. Though you were never sure what said vengeance would entail. What you did know, however, was that she was unbelievably kind. Even if she would never admit it herself, you knew it for a fact.
Eula was a strong girl. Both physically and mentally, she was well fortified. You knew the things the people of Mondstadt said to her never once affected her nor did it crumble her resolve to prove them wrong. Their scorn and attempts to tear her down were met with a promise of revenge and an icy look that completely differed from the insincere threats she’d given you. She would do anything within her power to become the very thing her family hated and it was proven by how fast she was rising through the ranks within the knights. Seeing how dedicated she was made you want to support her and along with Amber, you did your best to improve her image within the city.
You wanted the world to know just how good Eula Lawrence was. Her every achievement was proudly spoken by you to anyone willing to listen and you did your best to convince others to give her a chance. Though you were not as well known as Amber, your family name carried a bit of weight among the people to at least make them reconsider their prejudices against Eula. You wanted nothing more than for the city she grew up in to finally feel like a place she could call home. It was your one wish and, among many things, something you felt you greatly owed her. The numerous gifts and friendly affection she'd shower you with were all too much to leave unpaid.
Your feelings towards her were far too vast to put into words. Nothing you could say or do would ever hope to convey all of them precisely. Even you didn’t know the exact emotion of what you felt towards her. You only knew of your desire to see her, to talk to her and be with her. It was all that mattered to you and for the longest, you were happy with just staying by her side.
Yet there was something that was always bothering you. Over the years you were witness to the great accomplishments both Eula and Amber made. In both body and mind, they became people who were strong. Strong enough to fight for what they thought was right, but most of all, strong enough to fight for themselves. But you. . . you were unchanged. You were still the same demure, polite and weak girl you always were. Too afraid to speak up for yourself and too afraid of change. It made you feel utterly helpless and in comparison to them, you felt ashamed.
“Stop seeing that girl.”
Your father’s words felt more weighted than they should have been. Under that single demand, you felt crushed and it was enough to halt the beat of your heart for a second. You stopped what you were doing, the half embroidered handkerchief hung from one hand while the other held a string of white thread and needle. You were halfway finished with your newest present to Eula until he barged in your room looking as if he were about ready to snap something in half. You didn’t think he cared about you. He never seemed to have before. Yet all of the sudden he’s making demands of you as if he hadn’t ignored your very existence up until this moment. If it weren’t for your knowledge of how short-tempered your father was, you would have already retaliated with a snap of your own. Though that would have only ended with you earning yet another bruise to cover up. When you finally regained your composure, you glanced up at him after placing Eula’s unfinished gift atop the table before you.
“Who?” You blinked, your expression feigning ignorance. “Amber?”
You knew your acting could only get you so far, but you hoped it would be enough to fool him. Yet, despite your best efforts, you could see he was not at all convinced. The middle of his brow twitched, creasing deeply as his nerves were already beginning to give way. You could see his anger. It was apparent on his aged face which turned redder with each passing second. For some reason, unknown to you, he never did have an ounce of patience to spare you. Every remark that even sounded like a disagreement to what he asked of you was either met with a rough slap to the cheek or, if you were lucky, a day locked in your room without dinner. He was especially sensitive when it came to his work and this, you figured, must have had something to do with it. Your blatantly open support of Eula must have reached him by now and you could only guess that it was beginning to hinder the family business. The Lawrence's, after all, was a cursed family. The fallen remnants of what remained of the aristocracy that no one in Mondstadt wanted anything to do with.
As soon as the wrong girl’s name left your lips, you weren’t even given time to prepare yourself before you were sent hurdling out of your seat with a newly bruised cheek. From your place on the ground, you warily stared up at him with a hand cradling your hot and painfully throbbing face. You were somewhat used to this, yet no matter how many times you experienced his rage, you could never get used to the pain. Tears glossed over your eyes and gathered at the corners. You could feel them streaking down the apples of your cheeks and, on the side he hit, meeting with the tips of your fingers. He looked down at you with irritation as if the mere sight of your crying form was enough to set him off once more. You were well aware you were nothing but a nuisance to him. He voiced it often enough to you.
“Don’t act innocent,” He spits, eyes narrowing and jaw clenched. “I raised you better than that.” A bold lie that would have had you laughing if not for your immense pain. “The Lawrence’s are no good. If you go see that girl again, don’t bother coming home.”
He left just as quickly as he came. He spared you no further glance as he slammed the door of your room close before clicking it locked. You seemed to have hit the jackpot with getting both of his favorite punishments in one go. Not only had left you injured, but he’d also ensure you wouldn’t go running off behind his back. Your hand fell from your cheek as the painful throbbing died into a buzzing numbness. The silent tears that rolled down your cheeks had done little to truly encompass the pain you felt. At one point in your life, you wanted nothing more than that man’s affection. But that was long in the past and as the years rolled by, he'd done nothing for you other than present bruises for you to hide and humiliation you were meant to take without protest. He was a terrible man who saw you as nothing more than the reason for the death of his beloved person. Somewhere down the line, maybe even he had forgotten, that your mother was just as precious to you as she was to him.
Leaving this place wouldn’t be so hard for you as he may have thought. Even if he had merely said it as a threat and meant nothing by it, you took it to heart. This house was rarely ever a true home to you and you often felt more welcome outside among your friends than you ever did here. The choice he presented to you wasn’t difficult, nor did you find yourself doubting your decision. There was no way you would ever choose a man who’d never shown you kindness over Eula who undoubtedly cared for you, albeit in the most peculiar way unique only to her.
This was finally your chance to leave and you’d gladly take it without hesitation. Although you knew you could never truly escape your father within the walls of Mondstadt. You needed to get farther away from him. Liyue was the only other place you could go that could grant you that wish whilst allowing you to stay somewhat in contact with your friends. The trip would be long and arduous and most of all it required money. While you had a little from the various jobs you took on, you were almost positive you could gain the rest from selling the small amount of jewelry you possessed. They were precious things to you. The various jeweled necklaces, bracelets, and the single portrait being personal belongings of your mother that your father would have never let you near.
It was only by chance that you were able to snag them while he was away on business and since then you had them tucked away in a small velvet bag hidden under your mattress. You’d rarely ever taken them out, only glancing at them when you missed her the most. The portrait of her was old, the color almost fading completely, yet it was enough for you. Your father never kept pictures of her. All of them were stashed away somewhere deep within the house where you weren’t allowed to go. If it weren’t for you finding the small bag of jewelry and what could have been her last picture, you would have forgotten what she looked like. You were young when she died, barely the age of six, yet you could still loosely remember some things about her. Mainly it was her smile you could recall. You remembered it to be tender and filled with warmth. It was the by-product of her love for you and since her untimely passing, you've yearned to see it again.
Your mother, the kind person you hazily remembered her as wouldn’t have wanted you to continue living like this.
Packing was easy enough. You barely had any belongings to your name and most of everything was able to snugly fit into one bag. The last thing you needed was the jewelry, which you securely placed inside your coat, and you were ready to set off towards what you could only hope to be a better life. As you neared the window of your room, the tips of your fingers pressed against the pane, you glanced behind you at your room once more. While you possessed no good memories of this place, its image would never leave you. It was the room you grew up in and a place you could not so easily forget. You were really going to abandon everything, leaving behind everyone who ever cared for you without so much as a goodbye. The thought of doing so made you feel heavy with shame, but you knew you just didn’t have the time. At any moment your father could walk through your bedroom door and catch you mid-escape. If he did, you knew you’d never get a chance like this again.
Your gaze dropped, landing on the table in your room. The unfinished handkerchief you were making for Eula still lay on its surface and it served to remind you of just what you were giving up by running away. Your friends would undoubtedly be hurt from your sudden disappearance and maybe even Eula would come to hate you, thinking you were no different from those that openly mocked her. You never wished for her to think of you as such, but for now, it was alright. You could deal with that if it meant that she would forget about you faster. You never wanted to become a burden to her, nor did you want to hinder the great progress she made towards her goal. You just only wished there was something you could remember her by.
You stepped away from the window for a second, hastily grabbing the handkerchief and the spool of thread and needle that was attached to it before stuffing it into the pocket of your coat. Finishing it would be enough for you. Even if that meant you were never going to be able to give it to her like you wanted to.
Once you finally left your house, it was already past sunset. It was around this time that you knew Eula would be getting out of training for the day and you’d made sure to avoid the usual path she took towards her home. There were days you used to meet her at the central fountain for dinner or even at the doors of the knight’s headquarters. Today you were meant to do the latter. Never once had you not shown up for your promised outings with her and today would be your first and last offense. You just hoped she wouldn’t hold it too much against you.
The central marketplace wasn’t bustling with as many people as it had during midday. The crowds were thinning and some vendors were already packing up their stalls for the day. You were greeted by some of the people you knew, many of them blatantly staring at the large bandage on your cheek yet never asking what the cause of it was. They mainly bid you a good day and even sent you off with some gifts. As you bit into one of the apples given to you, you had a feeling they might have already known what kind of person your father was. Maybe you were not as good at hiding your injuries as you thought. Or was he just not good at hiding his hate for you?
Nighttime was close to falling upon you. The sky shifted from its orange hue into deep indigo and the stars were beginning to poke through to shine in all their glory. The main gate to Mondstadt stood in front of you, towering over you in height and your sudden smallness in comparison almost intimidated you. You really were leaving. That might have been your original goal, yet it hadn’t truly sunk in until the moment you were standing before the city's massive gates. You’ve been outside of Mondstadt on numerous occasions, but never with the intent of leaving forever. Your chest felt heavy with a mixture of various emotions and your eyes burned with unshed tears.
There was a part of you that wished to turn back and just bear with your father’s presence like you had for all these years. This part of you was scared. Fearful of what lies beyond the safety of the walls surrounding Mondstadt and afraid of taking the first step to true freedom. Here, you would never become anything more than a prisoner to the unjust guilt of your mother’s death. You would never gain the happiness you truly desired, nor would you ever become the person strong enough to stand by Eula’s side. You wanted nothing more than to be different and staying here would not allow you that freedom to grow.
You steeled yourself, hands clutching tightly at the strap of your bag as you continued on towards the main gates. You had no plans of stopping any longer, nor did you allow yourself even a second of hesitation. Now was the time to go. Now was your very last cha-
“[Name]?”
With widened eyes, your head whipped in the direction of the familiar voice. Standing just a few feet away from you was Eula. She looked at you with momentary confusion, her expression mellowing out as she eyed both the packed bag resting at your hip and the bandage on your face.
“E-Eula. . .” You muttered as she stepped closer towards you. One of your hands, unconsciously delving towards the flap of your bag as if to prevent her from seeing what was inside. “What are you doing here?”
“Is that what you’re going to say to me?” She asks with crossed arms and a stern expression. From the look of her face, you already knew what she was going to say. “You have a lot of nerve standing me up when you were the one who wanted to meet today. . .”
You weren’t really expecting her to show up at this moment, not when you initially thought she’d go home rather than look for you. Yet, here she stood. In front of you with a creased brow and a rather childish pout on her lips that would have normally made you laugh if not for the current circumstances.
“Sorry,” You apologized, your hands relaxing at your side now that the initial surprise dispersed. “I kinda got into it with my father. . .” You laughed a bit to ease your own nerves as one of your hands anxiously rubbed at the cloth bandage on your cheek. You knew your injury could never escape her. It was far too big for you to hide this time. “But don’t worry, I’m fine!”
You did your best to place the most assuring smile on your face as you looked back up to her. But she didn’t look all too convinced. Instead, her eyes conveyed something far different than what you were used to seeing from her. Her expression was soft. Far too soft for someone who was never forward with feelings that pertained to herself. She was worried for you.
“Where are you going?” Her tone too was so soft and gentle. As if she were afraid you were going to run away the moment she raised her voice. The crease in her brow returned and you realized she finally understood what your intentions were. You knew it would only be a matter of time until it all clicked into place for her, but you hoped you would have been out the city gates and halfway to Liyue by then.
She reached for your hand that hovered over your injured cheek, tenderly cradling it in her gloved one as she held onto you. This was her way of keeping you from going anywhere, you knew her touch might have meant nothing to her, but it made your heart feel as if it were going to burst. You felt trapped by her gaze and you attempted to formulate something to say or an excuse to give. Eula was not good for you right now. She made you hesitate. She made you want to stay.
But you couldn’t. Not anymore.
“Out.” You finally answered, stepping away from her and pulling your hand from her gentle hold. Your feigned smile returned to your lips. “But only for a bit, I’ll be back.”
It hurt to lie to someone who was always so honest with you. Even more so when that person was Eula herself. You never wanted to say your goodbye like this and if it were up to you, you wished to have just silently disappeared from her life like you were planning. You quickly turned away from her, the flash of hurt across her face from your obvious lie was crumbling your resolve. You no longer held hesitance in your steps as you strode out of the main gates and behind you, you could hear Eula rushing to follow. At this rate, the tears that were building up were about ready to burst. She wasn’t making this parting any easier than it could have been. You suppose you only had yourself to blame. If you hadn’t liked her as much as you did, maybe she wouldn’t be so adamant in trying to stop you now.
“Wait, [name]!” She grasped your arm, halting you to a complete stop. Her expression appeared more panicked than it was once before. It was only until you were in her hold that she regained some composure. Though her face was still wrought with worry. “Let me escort you to wherever you’re going. It’s dangerous out here, especially at night. You’ll let me do that at least, won’t you?”
Your lips parted, a refusal already at the tip of your tongue but before you could decline her offer, you were interrupted by the distant shouted calls of your name. Your father knows. Eula seemed to have noticed too as she looked briefly over her shoulder before looking back at you. If her suspicions weren’t already confirmed, then your fearful expression would have sealed the deal. You were running away. Now even she knew that.
“Eula, let go.” You attempted to pull yourself away from her but her grip was tight. “Please, I need to go.”
For several moments she looked conflicted and the feeling of dread only continued to increase with the nearing proximity of the shouted calls. If your father found you now, he’d never let you go. You pulled your arm again, this time with more desperation and this seemed to have brought her out of whatever thoughts she may have been engrossed in.
“Springvale.” She utters to you and you look at her with confusion. “I’ll meet you at Springvale. Wait for me.”
Her words border a demand and plead. While she was never one to beg, her tone was desperate enough to insinuate her words were a helpless request. Although she still looks troubled and hesitant, she lets you go. You waste no time in putting a bit of distance between yourself and the gates and it was only until you were nearing the bridge that you looked back at her. She stared after you and the difference from earlier was that she appeared to be more resolved than she was previously. You didn’t know what was going through her mind, but you hoped she had no plans of dragging you back to Mondstadt.
“Midnight. I’ll only wait for you until then!” You shout towards her and turn away before she’s given the chance to respond. You don’t know if she heard you but in the end, it wouldn’t matter. You weren’t planning on waiting past the time allotted. No matter what, you were leaving.
You had never ventured this far from Mondstadt. As a person who had no training in combat or in possession of a vision, you weren’t even allowed past the bridge without either Amber or Eula accompanying you. From a young age, it was drilled into your head that there were dangerous monsters roaming the plains outside of Mondstadt’s walls and so you were fully expecting your path from the city to Springvale to be anything but peaceful. You were surprised to find it was the complete opposite. It was quite relaxing. The scenery, despite it being nighttime, was still a sight to behold. Instead of monsters and other frightening things, you were instead accompanied with only the ambiance of the evening that included the dissonant melodies of crickets and the hoots of distant owls.
Springvale was easy to navigate even without the handy map you thankfully thought to have nabbed from your father’s study months ago. While you never planned to run away at that time, it was merely your curiosity of the outside world that drove you to take it for yourself. Your coincidental foresight thankfully saved you from getting lost and ungraciously becoming a monster’s next meal. It may have been proven useless for this small detour, it was sure to help you out in the nearing future. Especially if you were bound to make the trek all the way to Liyue by yourself.
The small village of Springvale was definitely more quaint than you imagined. You heard much about it from Sara as she once told you it was mainly occupied by hunters who provided quality meat to many of Mondstadt’s restaurants, including the one she worked at. It was peaceful here. The lull of the gentle breeze swaying the surrounding trees and the sound of nearby rushing waters. It was certainly peaceful and though you wished to explore further into the village, you didn’t wish to alarm anyone of your sudden presence. Especially so late at night. Instead, you opted to seat yourself on the ground at the village’s entrance with your back against the Springvale sign. You didn’t have a chance to discuss a meeting place with Eula, so you determined this would be the easiest place to spot her.
That was if she came.
Midnight was fast approaching and from your spot on the ground, you could see the stars glittering above you brighter than they had hours ago. Among the many thoughts in your head, you couldn’t help but wonder why Eula insisted you wait for her. The expressions she showed you during that split moment you were set to leave, was different from anything you’ve ever seen before. She was always a blunt person, straightforward in all of her words, and never was one who held a single doubt in any of her decisions. You liked that part about her. You thought her honesty was refreshing. To see her look so troubled, conflicted by something you did made you curious. You could remember her pursed lips, furrowed brows, and the disheartened look in her eyes as if the realization of you leaving deeply saddened her. Were you truly that precious of a person for her to make such an expression? Was her concern for you merely out of friendship or had it meant something more? In the end, did it even matter? You were leaving and there was little to no chance you’d ever see her again. In the future, she may forget you, which might have been something you were hoping for but the thought of it still saddened you. You never wanted to be forgotten by someone you cherished.
Your gaze dropped from the sky, glancing down at your lap where your now finished handkerchief lied. You eyed the small blue and white flower embroidered near the corner of the square cloth. It was a Glaze Lilly, a flower you’ve seen in a book and one that deeply reminded you of Eula herself. Your lips curved into a smile, the tip of your finger tracing over the light blue-colored thread. You thought it was a fitting gift and even if you weren’t so sure if you were going to give it to her now, it would be enough to serve as a reminder of your time together with her. It would be a keepsake that you’d never let go of.
Your ears perk at the sound of approaching footsteps and through the darkness of the night, you were able to see Eula perfectly. Slung across her chest was a bag filled with something you couldn’t quite see and poking over her shoulder was the handle of her weapon. She held a pensive expression on her face as she continued on the path towards Springvale and it was only when she spotted your seated form that she seemingly snapped out from whatever thoughts occupied her. You rose up to your feet to greet her, dusting off your pants before adjusting your bag to rest more comfortably against you. The handkerchief you finished embroidering was now tucked away in your pocket and you nervously glided your thumb against the soft cloth. You finally broke the silence the moment she stopped just in front of you.
“I didn’t think you’d come.” You admitted, your gaze holding her own for a few seconds before dropping towards the bag hanging at her side. You furrowed your brow, glancing back up at her with the question already at the tip of your tongue. “What’s that for?”
“Why wouldn’t I show up? A promise is a promise. . . even if I don’t quite understand what you’re doing.” She answers as she lies a hand on the bag on her hip. “And this? it's stuff I brought that would be useful for our trip.”
You blink at her words, silently processing them as she takes a look at your considerably lighter luggage. “It was a good thing I did because, from the looks of it, you didn’t bring much.”
“Wait- wait, what do you mean ‘our trip’? You’re coming with me?” Your tone was risen slightly, but not enough to attract attention. While you were taken off guard by her words, you were still mindful of the fact that it was quite late into the night.
Eula laughed through her nose, smiling down at you faintly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Why do you think I kept you waiting? If it were up to me, I would have escorted you all the way over here, but you looked like you were in a rush.” When you appeared unsatisfied with her vague answer, she breathed a sigh. “I needed permission. Of course, I can’t stay with you forever, but at least I can safely take you where you want to go.”
For a moment there, you really thought that she was going to leave everything behind just to come with you. But that was a ridiculous thought. Eula was diligent in everything she did and that included her duties as a knight. She would never abandon them for selfish reasons and you could never ask her to. You smiled, your heart fluttering with the knowledge that she had already done so much for you without you even asking. She didn’t press you for answers and she didn’t ridicule you for your decision to leave. She merely wanted to help and right now, you needed that more than ever. The journey would be dangerous but with her as an escort, you were guaranteed a safe passage.
“Thank you,” You said as you turned towards the main path towards Liyue. You waited until she stepped to your side to continue. “I was in a rush so I didn’t have time to prepare much. I appreciate it a lot.”
Eula didn’t say anything for a few minutes, simply walking by your side until she finally spoke again. Her voice took on that gentle tone once more, the one you remembered briefly hearing back near Mondstadt’s gates. It always took you by surprise with how softspoken she could be.
“Can I ask why?” You knew exactly what she was referring to with that question. “Why do you want to leave Mondstadt?” You expected it and you felt you owed her at least an explanation.
“For a lot of reasons.” You smiled again, meeting her gaze for a moment before looking back at the dirt path before you. “But if I tell you them, you can’t tell Amber. They’d make her sad and Amber’s not the type of person to be sulking around.”
“I won’t.”
You glanced at her, your head tilted slightly, and your smile widened. “Promise?”
She audibly sighed, throwing you a mildly irritated look that you laughed off. “Fine, I promise.”
You looked up at the sky, clutching onto the strap of your bag for comfort. The silence of the night combined with the twinkling stars above made you feel at ease. Eula’s presence had also added to the comfort and for once your own feelings didn’t suffocate you. She, alone, brought that sense of security. “I felt like there was nothing really for me there.”
“Everyone was changing in their own ways, growing to become incredible people.” You glanced over at her, the tender smile never leaving your face. “Especially you and Amber. The two of you were getting closer toward your own goals and I. . .”
You looked away, finding the ground to be far more welcoming. Your honesty scared you, yet you didn’t dare stop telling her the truth. Eula wanted the real reason for you leaving, you couldn’t ignore it nor could you make up some excuse to give her. She deserved far better than that.
“I wasn’t changing at all.” You admitted, your smile turning bitter before fading completely. “I think I was growing too complacent with everything and after a while, I really started to hate myself.”
Eula suddenly grabbed your upper arm, halting you to a stop as she forcefully turned you towards her. While her grip on you wasn’t strong enough to be painful, you could tell it would be difficult to break away from her if you chose to do so. But you didn’t want to. She leaned into you, almost as if she were afraid losing sight of you now meant to lose you forever. You stared into her eyes, taking in the various expression of hurt, anger, and concern. Once again you found her worrying for you when she didn’t need to. Though, you could admit you did find this hidden side of her to be quite adorable.
“Why are you talking like that? If I had know-”
You stopped her by placing both of your hands on either side of her face and squishing her cheeks slightly as you grinned. You could have never imagined a time when you could touch her so freely, yet she didn’t look as if she minded nor did she avoid your touch. She merely looked at you, curious about what you were going to say. “Don’t worry so much, Eula, and let me finish. I wasn’t done explaining.”
You stepped away, hands leaving her visage, yet her grip on you never faltered. Her gloved hand slid down from your arm to join with your hand. It kept you from creating that distance you thought she might have wanted from you and the assuring squeeze you felt against your fingers told you that she too wanted you close.
You honestly felt so helpless when it came to this woman.
“I want to become someone strong.” You finally say, voicing your silent wish. It was a dream you thought impossible to attain at one point, but now that you were free from Mondstadt’s walls, you felt like anything was possible. “I want to be someone worthy to stand by both your’s and Amber’s side. But to do that, I needed to leave. It was only a coincidence that I decided to do it after fighting with my father.”
Her eyes fell to your bandaged cheek and then your joined hands before you felt her squeeze your fingers once more. “I’m sorry for letting it go on for so long. I should have done something. Anything.”
You couldn’t blame her for that. Really, you couldn’t blame anyone. Your father had his own problems to deal with, and while he remained ignorant to the hurt he caused you, there was no use in forcing him to realize his mistakes. He'd never learn. Not until he came to terms with it himself. Maybe one day you might hear an apology from him but for now, all you wanted was to forget and build yourself a new life.
“There’s no need for you to apologize. I just want to be free from the past and already, you’re helping me do that. So don’t ever, for a second, think I blame you.” You said. Then, with a cheeky smile, you added. “Besides, what kind of Lawrence seeks forgiveness from a commoner like me?”
She looked up at you, her eyes wide with surprise before a smile of her own broke out across her face. She looked as if something had dawned upon her; a realization she had yet to see until that very moment. You could never fathom what was going on in the mind of a woman as unique as her. What could have possibly caused her to make a smile a sweet as that?
You felt her fingers intertwine with your own and she pulled you closer to her, the both of your chests touching with the lack of distance. You could feel her breath against the bridge of your nose, brushing slightly against your lips. Your heart pounded heavily against your chest, so hard you thought she might have been able to feel it. You never realized just how captivating her gaze was. In her eyes, you felt as if you could get lost. From afar, you thought they were pretty but up close, they were beautiful.
“You’re right, how dare you make me bow my head.” She whispers as her face nears your own and you could feel her every word against your lips. She was slow enough in her movements to give you time to move away if you chose to, yet you didn't. You wanted to know how she felt towards you and with each passing second, you felt as if you were getting closer to that truth. Her eyes never break away from yours and you don’t move a muscle. This situation was totally new to you, yet you don’t find yourself hating it. Instead, your heart pounds even louder to the point you could hear it ringing in your ears. “For that, you must pay the ultimate price.” Along with the closing distance, your eyes fluttered shut.
Goodbyes never felt freer. Neither had they ever tasted so sweet.